


can you see me? (i’m waiting for the right time)

by crystals__99



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Comedy, F/F, Family, Hosie, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, medical drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 09:55:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 50
Words: 215,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24847909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystals__99/pseuds/crystals__99
Summary: Josie Parker and her twin sister are starting their medical internship to become surgeons, just like their mother. Drama is just in the middle of it all.Yes I changed their surname because Parker is so powerful.
Relationships: Alyssa Chang/ Josie Saltzman, Hope Mikaelson & Klaus Mikaelson, Hope Mikaelson/Josie Saltzman, Hope Mikaelson/Rafael Waithe, Jade & Hope Mikaelson, Jade & Josie Saltzman, Jade & Lizzie Saltzman, Josie Saltzman & Lizzie Saltzman, Klaus Mikaelson/Camille O'Connell, Landon Kirby & Josie Saltzman, Landon Kirby/Lizzie Saltzman, Maya Machado & Hope Mikaelson, Milton "MG" Greasley & Lizzie Saltzman, Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman
Comments: 352
Kudos: 1115





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. Yes. It’s me. And yes, I needed a distraction. So here you go.
> 
> No, I don’t know where this is going to go. I just wrote this first chapter today and I guess I’ll let you be the judge of it and see if I have to go ahead.

Josie slowly opens her eyes, trying to adjust to the sunlight that points directly at her face. She frowns, feeling the headache from her hangover kicking in. She should definitely take an aspirin if she doesn’t want to look like a dead woman on her first day of internship.

_Fuck._

_Her first day._

She quickly sits down on the couch and scans the living room around her. Then she notices an auburn haired girl laying on the floor, her naked back facing up, only a blue blanket covering her. 

Josie gets up and slowly slips the blanket away from the girl to cover her own naked body and tries to sneak away on tiptoe. She doesn’t get too far though, because the girl on the floor starts to stiffen and then wakes up, calling at the brunette before she can disappear upstairs.

“Leaving so soon? Don’t you want the morning experience too?” 

The girl turns around resting her head on her hand and looks up at the brunette, smirking confidently, while Josie is honestly kind of wondering what that girl name even is. 

“Um..No.” Josie titles her head and smiles. “But thank you.” 

Josie tries to cut off the conversation, wanting to avoid all of this getting any more awkward. 

They met at a bar. They hooked up. Now it’s over. Josie’s dating life was mostly it. She doesn’t want strings attached. She needs to think about her future career as a doctor first.

_About that..._

She checks at the hour. 6:30 am. Her first day of internship is supposed to start in half an hour. And she’s still naked. 

“Look, I’m sorry but I really need to..go.” She starts collecting her clothes from the floor as quickly as possible. “I believe you know where the door is.” 

Suddenly the girl hands her a pair of pink lingerie, the smirk still wide on her lips. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” 

Josie looks at her and then at the panties the girl is playing with between her fingers. She smiles awkwardly and grabs it. “You really have to go.” 

“Come on, just one more time and then, if it really is that bad, you won’t ever see me again.” 

Josie thinks about it for a moment. The only thing she remembers is that she had quite the orgasm the night before. So no, it surely wasn’t bad. But then she quickly shakes the thought away. 

_No._

“Seriously. You have to go. I'm late. Which isn't what you want to be on your first day of work, so..”

“Your house is nice. Big. You should have a roommate.” 

“Yeah I’m..looking for one. I just moved here. My mom got this house for me before she..” She suddenly stopped talking. Why was she even telling so many details about her personal life to a stranger? 

The girl was clearly still waiting for her to finish the sentence. But then Josie decided against it and chuckled awkwardly, crunching her nose.

“We really don’t have to do..this.” 

“You mean talking? I didn’t ask you to talk. In fact, I wanted to give you a second round.” The girl smiled again.

Josie thought for a moment how much warmth the girl’s smile radiated. She seemed like the kind of girl you can easily fall in love with.

_No._

_Focus. You’re going to be late._

“Okay, look, I'm gonna go upstairs and take a shower, okay, and when I get back down here, you won't be here, so, um, goodbye...um...”

Josie leaned forward to offer the girl her hand as goodbye, but just as she was about to do it she realized she still didn’t remember the girl’s name. 

“Hope.” The girl says in a soft voice while she shakes Josie’s hand gently.

“Hope. Right. I’m Josie.” She smiles awkwardly. 

“Josie. Nice name.” 

“Yeah. Hmm...”

Josie chuckles and walks backwards until she bumps against the door jamb. 

“Bye.” She turns around and runs to the bathroom upstairs to take a quick shower, leaving the girl still naked in her living room. 

Well, that was a disaster.

//

Josie walks into one of the operating rooms of the Mystic Falls Hospital. She is with other interns who just like her wander around the room, feeling this rush of adrenaline running through their veins. 

This was the very start of everything she’s been dreaming of since she was a child. Follow her mother’s path. Becoming a doctor. 

If she’s always been the caretaker of her family there was a reason. Probably saving lives was her call, just like her mother’s was. The mere thought of picturing herself actually performing surgeries and saving lives in this same room as he mother, was enough to give her the right amount of push to go through with it.

Suddenly the attending Dr. Dorian Williams, who was giving them the tour of the hospital, stopped on the side of the room with his arms crossed on his chest and started talking.

“Each of you comes here hopeful. Wanting in on the game. A month ago you were in med school being taught by doctors. Today, you are the doctors. The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you. Say hello to your competition. Some of you will switch to an easier specialty. Others will crack under the pressure. I trust even more of you will be asked to leave. This is your starting line. This is your arena. How well you play? That's up to you.”

_Well, maybe she needed something more than a push._

//

Josie was in the interns’ locker room changing into her scrubs when a doctor came in to call a group of interns to follow him.

Josie looks up at the asian intern in front of her. “Only six women out of twenty. Can you believe that?”

“I know right? I hear one of them is a model. That’s so not gonna help with us being taken seriously in here.”

“That’s my sister.” 

The girl freezes for a moment, but seems still unbothered. “Oops.”

“You’re Alyssa, right?”

“Yes. And You’re Josie. Quite famous around here, huh?” 

Josie’s cheeks flush but she tries to hide it. “I don’t really want people thinking I might be privileged or something.” She whispers. 

“Too late. Which resident are you assigned to? I got Bennett.” 

_“The_ Bennett?! The one they call the Nazi? Me too.”

“You two got the Nazi? Me too. At least we’ll be tortured together, right? I, uh, I’m Landon Kirby.” He shakes Josie’s hand which she takes gladly and with a smile, then he moves his gaze to Alyssa. “You must be Alyssa. Maybe you don’t remember me but, um, we met at the cafeteria this morning. You were wearing that black tight dress, um, that was..really on point, I must say.” He chuckles nervously. The two girls exchanged a frowned look. 

“Oh! I’m..I’m not gay. Did you think I am?” He laughs nervously. 

“Huh..” She looks at him one last time with a disgusted face and then walks away.

“No..wait, it’s just..” He mutters his last words as he realizes Alyssa was already gone. “You were very..pretty.” He meets Josie’s gaze who gives him a sorry look.

“Kirby, Chang, Parker one and two.” A doctor calls them.

They all walk through the hallway looking for doctor Bennett, who was waiting for them at the end of the hall while reading medical charts. 

“I thought the Nazi would be a guy.” Landon said.

“Maybe she has the mustaches.” Josie says.

“Maybe it's professional jealousy. Maybe she's brilliant, and they call her Nazi because they're jealous. Maybe she's nice.” Lizzie suddenly walks alongside them in a very determined way, capturing Alyssa’s attention.

“Let me guess, you’re the model.” Alyssa says with a hint of irritation. 

The blonde gives her a quick hateful look before she focuses her attention on the resident standing before them, who was now looking at the blonde leaning her hand to the her.

“Hi. I’m Lizzie Parker. It’s so nice to meet you doctor Bennett.” 

The woman scans the girl from head to toe and doesn’t respond. She just turns around and starts walking, as if she expects the four interns to just follow her without questions.

“I have five rules. Memorise them. Rule number one, don't bother sucking up, I already hate you, that's not gonna change.” She points at some charts in the hall. “This is Trauma protocol, phone lists, pagers. Nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run. that's rule number two. Your first shift starts now and lasts forty-eight hours. You're interns, which means you’re nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain, you run labs, write orders, work every second night till you drop and don't complain!” She opens a door in the hallway. “On call rooms. Attendings hog them, sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to rule number three, if I'm sleeping, don't wake me, unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there, not only would you have killed someone, you would have also woke me for no good reason, we clear?” 

Josie raises her hand.

Bennett glances at her. “Yes?” 

“You said five rules. Those were four.”

“Rule number five. You move when I move. Is that clear?” 

She waits for them to respond while glancing at each one of them. No one dares to speak, they only nod in understanding. 

“Now. We have a patient. Her name’s Dana Lilien, fifteen-year-old female, new onset seizures, intermittent for the past week. Parker number one, you’re on it. Get her for a CT, she’s your responsibility. Chang, you’re on labs. Kirby, patient workups.”

“Wait, what about me?” Lizzie asks in confusion.

“Oh. Honey, you get to do rectal exams. Have fun.” 

//

The elevator opens. Josie is pushing the hospital bed with her patient in it, trying to find the CT room.

“You’re lost.”

“I’m not lost. How are you feeling?”

“How do you think I’m feeling? I’m missing Miss Mystic Falls! I should’ve competed with my boyfriend. Which is not here, by the way. He’s a total asshole. Maybe I should break up with him. I’m with him just because he’s cute anyway.” 

Josie frowns and tries to make space to both her thoughts and the girls rambling in her brain. She really needs to find the fucking CT room. She turns the next corner. 

“You know what? Maybe you should.” 

“Argh, I should be there! My mother wanted this for me.” 

Josie looks at her with an apologizing look.

“Hey. You know, you remind me of my sister Lizzie. You probably would get along with her. But as for your mom..I’m sorry for your loss. And I really think she’d rather see you get better than win a stupid pageant.”

“What?” She frowns. “She’s not dead. She’s just a shitty mom who would rather travel with her boyfriend than check on me. I just wanted to win because we had a deal. She would let me and my group of friends go in vacation alone for the summer at our beach house.” 

Now Josie is the one frowning. How is this girl even real? 

“Aren’t you like- fifteen?!”

“Sixteen next month.”

“As if that makes it better.” Josie mutters between her lips. Then she sighs and turns the third empty hallway. 

“You’re so lost.” 

//

Landon was applying a stethoscope on a male patient, listening to his heartbeat carefully.

“Sounds good.” Landon smiles to reassure both the patient and the wife holding his hand.

“So he’s okay?” The man’s wife asks. 

“He is. Although I’m afraid he won’t be eating much Burgers and Fries anytime soon.”

“Kill me now.” 

Landon chuckles. “That goes against every moral rule of my job.” Then he takes the patient chart and goes on. “You’ll be having surgery tomorrow with Doctor Williams. I hear he’s good.” 

“Thank you.” The wife says with a kind smile.

Landon returns the smile and walks out of the room.

//

Alyssa walks up to doctor Bennett with scans in her hands.

“Dana Lilien’s labs came out clear, there's nothing in the results that explain her seizures, I just thought you'd wanna know.” 

“Okay.” She answers dryly.

Alyssa thinks of just walking away, but then she turns around again to face the woman. Bennett feels the girl’s gaze on her, so she slowly looks up at her again.

“What now?!”

“Ah, I- I heard every year the attending on call picks the best intern and, and lets them perform a procedure, during the first shift?” Bennett just keeps staring at her silently. “I'm, I'm just saying it's what I heard...”

“Go. Away.” 

“Yes Sir. I mean- ma’am. Yes ma’am.” 

Bennett looks at her suspiciously. Alyssa thinks she might have made her angry, so she exits the room as quickly as possible before something worse could happen.

//

In the cafeteria, the group gathers around one small table to eat during their small lunch break.

Landon sits down next to Lizzie, who’s barely touching her food and has a grimace of disgust on her face. 

“You should eat before they start paging us again.” He says.

“I can’t. I just spent three hours shoving up my finger into people’s ass.” She says almost crying in disgust.

“That..was- okay. I really didn’t need to have that image in my head.”

“You?! I lived it!” She says almost yelling.

Alyssa sits down looking almost unbothered. 

“I wonder why your sister’s so privileged while all you get to do is rectal exams.” She says, then she gives a strong bite to her carrot. 

“Wait, why privileged?” Landon asks confused.

“Oh, you don’t know? They’re Parkers. Their mother is Josette Parker.” 

“Josette Parker?! Holy- you’re royals!” Landon says looking at Lizzie in amazement.

“Jee- Keep it in your pants. I’ve seen enough for today.” 

Alyssa chuckles while Landon lowers his head in embarrassment and focuses on his food again.

“I would kill to have Josette Parker as my mom. I would kill to be Josette Parker.” Alyssa says with dreamy eyes.

Josie sits down the table slamming her plate, letting out a heavy breath.

“I just need a good case.”

“Oh yeah? Come tell that to your sweet sister who just finished inspecting people’s asses.” Alyssa says.

Josie frowns and looks at Lizzie with a sad pout. “Really?” 

“Please don’t ask.” 

Suddenly Dr. Williams walks up to them. 

“Good afternoon interns. It's posted, but I thought I'd share the good news personally. As you know, the honour of performing the first surgery is reserved for the intern that shows the most promise. As I'm running the OR today, I get to make that choice. Kirby, you’re up. You'll scrub in for an adipectomy this afternoon. Congratulations.”

Landon looks at him with wide eyes. “Me?!”

“Him?!” Alyssa says soon after.

“That would be all.” 

Then he leaves them standing there.

//

Josie walks through a few hallways before she’s able to find doctor Bennett. 

“Dr. Bennett, Dana Lilien’s grandmother is here and she’s asking me about the procedure of the operation. Do I talk to her or do I need to call Dr. Williams?” 

“Oh no, Dr. Williams is off the case. She belongs now with the new attending, Dr. Mikaelson. She’s right there.” She points at the woman in the room in front of her, then she walks away.

Josie walks into the room where the doctor’s supposed to be and then freezes on the spot as her eyes meet the ones of her attending. 

The one she slept with the night before. The one who was on her living room floor, naked, that same morning. 

The auburn haired girl glances at her just for a second at first, but then she checks again. And her eyes fully focus on the brunette looking at her with a panicked gaze, while she still had a soft smile on her lips.

Josie quickly walks away before this can get any more awkward. She’s halfway through the hallway when someone grabs her arm and drags her out into a stairwell.

It’s Hope.

“Oh.” Josie takes two steps back. “Hi, Dr. Mikaelson.” 

Hope smiles amused. “Dr. Mikaelson? As if you don’t know my name?” 

Josie clears her throat. “Dr. Mikaelson, we should pretend it never happened. Forget about it.”

“What should I forget? The part where you beg me to touch you everywhere and then keep asking for more-“ She walks closer. “Or the part where you so nicely kicked me out of your house? Because I’d really like to remember the first part.” 

Josie feels the need to squeeze her tights together to keep herself from feeling the urge between her legs. 

_No. This is wrong._

_She can’t think about her like this._

She shuts her eyes and clears her throat. “No. There will be no memories. And no more rounds. That was one time.” She raises a finger between them to make herself clear, but Hope moves her gaze between Josie’s eyes and finger in a seductive and malicious way. “Just one..stupid-“ Hope places her lips on Josie’s finger leaving a gentle kiss. Then she’s about to put it into her mouth when Josie suddenly comes back to reality and backs away.

“No! I said we’re done. We’re not two strangers in a bar anymore. You’re my attending and I’m your intern.”

“At least you’re my something.” Hope says still with a soft smile on her face.

Josie can’t take this.

She sighs and pushes the girl away from her. “I’m serious!”

“So you used me and now you want me to forget. That’s not very nice.”

“I did not use-“

“I was drunk, vulnerable, and good looking-“

Josie smiles. “I was drunk! And you’re just.. _a girl.”_

_Like any other._

“Just a girl, huh?” 

“Yes.”

“So I’m not your attending anymore now.” Hope looks at the brunette as if she was ready to jump on her again. 

“This is..so inappropriate. Stop looking at me like that.” 

Josie wanted to run away from there. Maybe she could jump from the stairwell. Maybe she would survive. Or maybe she would get an amnesia and forget about the girl standing in front of her. That would be a good way to start over this first day, right?

Or maybe she could push Hope down the stairwell.

_Josie. You’re a fucking doctor. Stop it._

“I have to go.” 

Josie leaves while Hope is left standing there, sighing defeated. 

//

Josie went to the operating theatre where Alyssa, Lizzie and other students and doctors were waiting to assist to Landon’s first surgery. They watched as the nurses prepared the patient on the table and the Anesthesiologists put him to sleep. 

“He’s clearly freaking out.” Alyssa states while chewing popcorn.

“Twenty bucks if he faints.” Lizzie says shaking Alyssa’s hand. 

Josie looks at them with a frown. “Stop it. You should be supportive of him. And- are you eating popcorn??” 

“Shh. He’s coming in.” Alyssa waves her hand and keeps her gaze to the OR.

“Alright, Kirby. Let’s see what you can do.” 

He takes a deep breath behind his mask and leans his hand to the nurse. 

“Scalpel.”

Landon gets ready to make the cut on the skin, but he freezes for a moment.

“Kirby, apply more pressure. It’s human flesh, not an apple.” 

“Yes Sir.” 

Finally, he manages to cut the skin and dig in deeper. 

In his head he keeps repeating the whole procedure to himself. He also tells himself he can do this. He has to. 

He wants to feel useful and good about himself. He doesn’t want the other interns to make fun of him. 

Without realizing, he had already reached the appendix and he got ready to make a nice and clean cut to take it out.

“Appendix is out.” He tosses it into a tray. 

Meanwhile Josie was smiling proudly. “Looks like you’re gonna lose that bet.” She tells her sister.

“Now all you have to do is invert the stump into the secum and simultaneously pull up on the purse-strings but be careful not to-“ Landon makes the exact mistake Williams was trying to avoid. “-break them.” He groans. “You ripped the secum. Got a bleeder. You're filling with stool, what do you do now?”

Landon starts panicking. He’s trying to find the if-you-make-a-mistake part of the procedure in his head but his mind is just blank.

“Uh...I..”

“Think. You start the suction, and you start digging for those purse-strings before she bleeds to death. Give him a clamp.” He asks the nurse. 

“BP’s dropping.” Another nurse at the screen announces. 

“Come on, Kirby. What do you do?!”

“Dr. Williams...” The nurse adverts him again.

Dr. Williams sighs and pushes MG out of the way and out of the sterile space. “Get him out of here. Suction. Clamp.” 

“Jo, you owe me.” Lizzie tells her with a smirk.

“I didn’t even bet! God, I’m so sorry for him.”

“He’s 007.” 

“Yes, definitely 007.” 

Josie frowns. “What does that mean? And who even are you?”

“I’m Sebastian.” He smirks and then winks at Lizzie. 

“I’m Jade.” The girl smiles and waves her hand at Josie. “007 means Licensed to kill.”

Everyone in the room starts giggling. 

Josie rolls her eyes and stands up to leave. “You guys are terrible.” 

//

The four of them are sitting in an empty corridor full of empty beds. Josie is resting her head against the wall, trying to recover from the worst 20 hours she’s had in a while. And even more to go.

“They’re all making fun of me, aren’t they?” 

Josie looks at him with a sorry look. “No, Landon-“

“Definitely.” Alyssa says while chewing a gummy bear.

“They called me 007.” He states.

“Well-“ Josie tries to talk but she’s cut off again.

“You looked like a little bird fallen off the nest for the first time, very cute.” Alyssa says.

“Or pathetic.” Lizzie adds. Alyssa giggles.

“Lizzie!” Josie scolds her and then places a hand on Landon’s arm. “Don’t listen to them. Next time will be better.” 

“Easy for you to say. You’re a freaking Parker.” 

Suddenly Josie’s pagers beeps before she can say anything.

“Oh crap. 911 for Dana Lilien. Gotta run.” And so she quickly takes off.

“Maybe I should’ve become a vet.” Landon says fixing his eyes into the void.

“Then you would’ve killed poor animals, for sure.” Lizzie says while she stretches her arms.

“Surgery is hard, Landon. It’s like being on the war field. It’s electrifying. It’s adrenaline. You’re a freaking superhero.” Alyssa says.

“A vet is just- a freak who lives with his dog and doesn’t have sex.” Lizzie states.

Both Alyssa and Lizzie get paged and Landon is left alone in the hallway with a pout on his face. 

“Then why I’m not a vet but I’m still those two things together...” He mutters between his lips. 

Luckily no one was there to make fun of him for that too.

//

Josie arrives in Dana’s room out of breath but sees the girl laying peacefully in her bed. 

“Are you okay?! What’s wrong?”

“I was bored. And I wanted to see the pageant. I swear, if that Sasha bitch wins, She’s not coming to my beach house. Can you hand me the remote?” 

Josie takes Dana’s chart to check on her latest exams. 

“You’re fine!” 

“Yes, I told you already! Are you deaf?”

Josie walks next to her and takes out the stethoscope to listen to her heartbeat and breathing. 

Josie herself takes a very deep breath and then let it out. “I thought you were dying or something!”

“Thank God no, you wouldn’t know the first thing to do to save me.” 

For a moment Josie thought about saying: _Do you even know who I am?!_ _Who my mother is?_

“Just go to sleep before I sedate you. And that, I can do.” She looks at her mendaciously and then walks out of the room. 

As she turns the corner of the hallway, she bumps into someone and she finds herself facing the same girl she’s been trying to avoid all day. Again.

And she’s giving her _that_ smile.

“We have to stop running into each other like this.” 

“We have to stop running into each other, _period.”_

Josie tries to walk past her but Hope places a hand on the wall, blocking the way. 

“We are never happening again, okay? Did you get that? Do I need to repeat myself?” Josie says in annoyance.

“I already heard you the first time. I’m just...good at compartmentalize everything I learn and I have to remember and it just happens-“ She walks a step closer to the brunette. “That I put what you said in the _I can’t do it_ section.” 

Josie swallows hard while she finds herself staring right into deep blue eyes. She feels her body heat up under the girl’s gaze. She really needs to walk away. But she can’t do it. She wants this. She wants _her._

_But she can’t have her._

“Move.” She says with a hard tone. 

Hope still smiles and then bites her bottom lip. But after a few seconds of thinking, she does as the brunette asked. And Josie walks away without saying another word. 

//

“4B's got post-op pneumonia. Let's start antibiotics.” Jade says to the nurse.

“Are you sure the diagnosis is right?” 

“Am I sure?! She's short of breath, she's got fever, she's post-op. Start the antibiotics.” She says almost yelling at her. 

Meanwhile Josie and Landon pretend not to hear and keep checking on the patient next bed. 

“God, I hate nurses.” Jade groans.

At that point, Josie couldn’t resist. 

“She may not have pneumonia, you know. She could be splinting, or have a PE.”

“Like I said, I hate nurses.” 

Josie scoffs a laugh. “Did you just call me a nurse?” 

Jade raises her gaze from the chart and takes a good look at her. “Correction: a hot nurse.” 

Josie rolls her eyes and at the same moment she gets paged again. 911 for Dana, again. But this time she doesn’t rush. 

“Is she single?” Jade asks Landon. 

“Um...I don’t..know. I think so? I’m- her friend but we don’t know each other that well yet. Not that I want to..you know, but she’s nice, and she-“

“Dude, I asked you one thing.” 

She leaves the chart and walks away, leaving Landon by himself. He takes a memo: stop interacting with your fellow interns. Then he gets back to his patient.

//

When Josie walks into Dana’s room, there’s chaos.

“What took you so long?!” The nurse says.

Josie widens her eyes and suddenly a rush of panic runs through her. She was so stupid. 

“She's having multiple grand mal seizures, now how do you want to proceed? Dr. Parker? Are you listening to me? She's got Diazepam, 2mg Diazepam, I just gave her a second ago.” 

Josie tries to focus and stop herself from panicking. She practiced a moment like this in her head several times. It’s the first time she actually finds herself in a life or death situation. This is where she proves herself. This is where she has to keep her shit together. 

“Dr. Parker? The Prazepam is not working.”

“Phenobarbital, load her with Phenobarbital.” She says urging the nurse.

“No change.”

“Did you page Dr. Mikaelson?!” 

“Yes!”

Suddenly there’s a beeping.

“Her heart just stopped!” 

“Code blue! Code blue!” 

They pull out the defibrillators and Josie quickly takes them and gives instructions to the nurses taking complete charge of the situation.

“Charge pulse of two-hundred.” 

“Charged. Clear.” The nurse says.

Josie places the defibrillator on Dana’s chest.

“Nothing.”

“Charge to 300.”

Josie tries again.

Still nothing.

“Charge to 360!” She starts gasping. “Come on Dana.” She mutters.

“49 seconds.” The nurse tells her. 

“After 60 seconds you’re supposed to call her death.”

“No! Charge again.” The nurse doesn’t move. Josie shouts for real this time. “Charge that fucking thing!” 

She tries again.

“I see sinus rhythm.” The other nurse says.

“Blood pressure’s coming up.”

Josie takes a deep breath and finally her heart starts beating normally again. She closes her eyes for a moment to calm herself down, then she opens them and looks at the nurses.

“Good job.” 

Suddenly Hope rushes into the room with a panicked look on her face. It’s the first time Josie sees her face without that annoying smirk on.

“What happened?!” 

“She had a seizure and..her heart stopped.” Josie says, not aware that her voice would be shaking that way.

“You were supposed to be monitoring her!”

“I was monitoring her! I checked on her. She was fine!” Josie shouts back, for a moment forgetting that she was actually screaming at her attending. 

Not Hope. But her attending.

“Fine. Just go.” Hope says walking past her and taking Dana’s chart.

Josie shakes her head in defeat (although that was supposed to be a win) and walks away, feeling the sudden need to throw up.

//

Josie walks into an empty lab where Landon and Alyssa are. She just finished throwing up after her first saving. She should feel good but she doesn’t. 

_This was supposed to feel good._

She sits in front of Alyssa. “What are you doing?”

“Suturing a banana, hoping that will keep my brain awake for the next 18 hours.”

“I need to sleep.” Josie says abandoning her head in her hands.

Alyssa sniffs. “You smell terrible.” 

“So do you.” 

“So does Landon.” 

“What did I do now?” He asks from the back of the room.

“Nothing lady bird, go back to your thing.” Alyssa says, but then she notices the hurt on Landon’s face. Not that she cared. “Sorry, I get mean when I’m tired.”

“Have you been tired your whole life?” He asks.

Josie tries to hold a laugh and Landon feels almost content at her reaction. Alyssa turns around to give him a death stare.

“What did you just say?”

//

It’s 4:30 in the morning and the interns have been called in for a meeting in a big room. 

“Why are we here? I was finally having a nap.” Lizzie groans.

Suddenly Hope enters the room and stands before the interns.

“Well good morning. I'm going to do something pretty rare for a surgeon, I'm going to ask interns for help. I've got this kid, Dana Lilien. Right now, she's a mystery. She doesn't respond to her meds. Labs are clean, scans are pure, but she's having seizures. Grand mal seizures with no visible cause. She's going to die, if I don't make a diagnosis. Which is where you come in. I can't do it alone. I need your extra minds, extra eyes, I need you to play detective, I need you to find out why Dana is having seizures. I know you're tired, you're busy, you've got more work than you could possibly handle. I understand. So, I'm going to give you an incentive. Whoever finds the answer rides with me. Dana needs surgery. You get to do what no interns get to do. Scrub in to assist on an advanced procedure. Dr. Bennett is going to hand you Dana’s chart. The clock is ticking fast, people. If we're going to save Dana’s life, we have to do it soon.”

“Hey, I want in on Mikaleson’s surgery. You've been the intern on Dana since the start. You want to work together? We find the answer, we have a fifty-fifty chance of scrubbing.” Alyssa says.

“I'll work with you, but I don't want in on the surgery. You can have it.”

“Are you kidding me? It's the biggest opportunity any intern will ever get.”

“I’m feeling generous, okay? I’ll help you.”

Alyssa grins happily. “Thank you.”

Even if they had their differences, Josie admired the work Hope was trying to do. But she still couldn’t be near the girl. They already proved how unprofessional their teamwork could be. Josie trusted she would have her chance to shine. 

But not with Hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alyssa and Lizzie vs. Landon? I didn’t know I needed that until I made it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // illness / cancer
> 
> I wanted to warn you guys that since the story is based on a medical drama, and maybe most of you know how it works, there will be many cases of illnesses in the chapters, some of them might be present in the story for a while and you’ll know that after you read the chapter. So I just wanted to clear this up and if you feel like you can’t take the topic I’ll understand if you won’t keep reading the story. 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter. <3

Josie and Alyssa are sitting in an emoty lab with the table full of med books open. It’s been hours since they started looking into Dana’s medical problem and they’ve been guessing all the possibilities.

Despite the fact that Josie had already drank five coffee, she hasn’t slept for more than a day and she wanted nothing more than just slip under the covers of her bed and fall into a deep coma. 

But she still tried to keep herself awake. She doesn’t want anything to do with the surgery (and Hope) but she still has to help Alyssa. 

“Well, she doesn't have anoxia, chronic renal failure or acidosis. It's not a tumour because her CT's clean.” Alyssa says.

“What about an infection?” 

“No. There's no white count, she has no ceteal lesions, no fevers, nothing in her spinal tap. Plus, are you going to tell me why you don’t want to work with Mikaelson?”

“No.”

“Come on.” 

Josie sighs and stares dead serious at her. “You can’t make faces. Or sounds. Just take in the information and don’t answer. Okay? We had sex.” 

Alyssa stays silent for a moment. She covers her mouth with a hand trying to hold back any sound or smile. Then she clears her throat.

“What about an aneurysm?” She goes on with the theories.

“No blood in her CT and no headaches.” Josie says dropping the pen she was holding between the book. 

“What if she dies before we get the answers?” 

“That would be horrible. I mean, she’s annoying but still young. She needs to find love and all...maybe finally win Miss Mystic Falls.”

“Seriously?”

“She even broke her ankle working on that.” 

Alyssa frowns and look at Josie in realization. Their minds instantly connect.

“Oh my god.” 

They start running through the hallways to find Dr. Mikaelson. And they finally find her while she’s entering the elevator.

“Dr. Mikaelson! Wait! Wait.” Alyssa says catching her breath. “I know that the scans didn’t show, but Dana might have an aneurysm.”

“No, we already excluded that. There are no indicators.” Hope says convinced.

“But she twisted her ankle, a few weeks ago when she was practising for the pageant-“

“This is irrelevant. Really. I can’t lose more time.”

“She fell! When she twisted her ankle, she fell.” Josie suddenly says and Hope turns her gaze to the brunette for the first time.

“She could be the one in a million. When a minor fall could burst an aneurysm.” Alyssa states.

Hope thinks about it. Then she finally gives in, since the girl’s theory could probably be the answer. 

“You might be right, okay. You two did great. Now I’ll let the grandmother know Dana needs surgery.”

“Wait! Um..Dr. Mikaelson, you said that you'd pick someone to scrub in if we helped.”

“Oh, yes, right. Um, I'm sorry I can't take you both, it's going to be a full house. Josie, I'll see you in OR.”

_What?!_

No. Josie didn’t want this privilege. 

She didn’t want to be _near Hope._ _And did she just call her by her name?_ _Fuck._

Alyssa looks at Josie clearly pissed and then walks away. 

“Alyssa wait...” She drops her arms to her hips and sighs heavily. 

She would really be better off sleeping.

//

Landon is watching his patient’s surgery from behind the glass at the entrance of the OR, his hands rested on the sink. 

After a few minutes Dr. Williams walks out of the OR and goes to wash his hands where Landon is.

“That was quick.”

“He’s dead, Kirby.”

Landon’s face drops. “What? But..I told his wife that he was okay..I- I don’t understand.”

“His heart had too much damage to give him a bypass. I had to let him go. It happens, rarely. But it does happen. We did everything we could.”

“But he has daughters-“ He was about to cry. 

“Kirby.” Dorian scolds him. “You can never make promises to the patients nor their families. Is that clear?” 

Landon nods sadly.

“Now go tell her wife that she’s a widow.”

//

Alyssa storms into the intern’s locker room where Lizzie is changing. The blonde looks weirdly at the raven haired girl and then her sister who quickly follows her. 

“Alyssa, I’ll tell her to pick you. Okay? I swear I didn’t want this surgery. I told you myself.”

“It’s fine, Josie. I get your game now. And now I even know why is it that you’re so privileged.” 

“What’s she talking about?” Lizzie asks in confusion.

Josie ignores her sister’s question and keeps talking to Alyssa. 

“No! It’s not-“

“Oh save it, Josie. Yes, your mom is a freaking genius who revolutionized medicine. You have her name. Maybe her brain, even if I seriously doubt that. Now you also have the fucking attending pining over you. But there are people here who have to actually earn their place.” 

Josie nods in understanding and then left the room, unable to answer or stay there a moment more.

Josie knows she shouldn’t feel so hurt by Alyssa’s words. Because they’re not true. At least, she wanted them not to be true. She never was one to take the easy road, but with her mother’s name everything seemed to be a problem. Even when she didn’t want to look like she was taking advantage of it, someone would point it out.

Sometimes she hated the fact that her mom wanted them to keep her surname instead of their father’s. Not that it would make things better, because they didn’t really have a father. They haven’t had one since they were eleven, but maybe things would have been different for her. 

Maybe she wouldn’t be trying so hard not to look like her mother. She wouldn’t be fighting between wanting to become someone important, but trying not to at the same time. All because of her stupid name. 

And as if that wasn’t enough, she really had to consider the fact that Hope wasn’t going to let her be. 

She felt her head imploding.

She walked to the OR where Hope was shaving Dana’s head for the surgery. Josie put on her mask and stayed five feet away from the sterile zone.

“She screamed at me for ten minutes, begging me to make a cut in her head without..cutting her hair?” Hope frowns amused and looks at Josie for a moment.  
Even if Hope couldn’t see the brunette’s face, her eyes said it all. She was pissed. 

“Did you choose me for the surgery because I slept with you?”

Hope smiles. “Sure. No. Look, you saved her life on your first day of training, while I wasn’t even there. And that was a great thing, even if I didn’t acknowledge that right away. I’m sorry about that.” 

“Thank you. But I don’t want this. You should give the surgery to Alyssa. She really wants this.”

“And what do you want?” Hope asks looking right at her. 

Josie feels uncomfortable under the inquisitive gaze of the girl. And she keeps wondering why Hope makes her feel this way. Like she could drop down on her knees at any moment. 

She hates it. She hates _her._

“That’s not something that concerns you...Dr. Mikaelson.” 

“If it’s about you, maybe it does.” 

_Why? Why would she say that?_

“You do realize we had a one night thing right? Why do you keep going after me like you’re in love with me or something?” Josie bursts out. 

Hope nods in understanding and places the scalpel back into the tray. Her expression is suddenly changed. Colder. 

“As I told you before, I gave you the surgery because I thought you were ready for it after what you did. But- if this makes you too uncomfortable, then don’t come.” She pauses. And Josie feels like Hope just slapped her in the face. “And for the record, I’m perfectly capable of separating my feelings from duty.” 

Josie just stood there. Paralyzed. She probably hated this more than she hated Hope pining over her. This felt like a cold shower. Like a hailstorm. Maybe she deserved it, but she didn’t like this version of Hope. 

Suddenly she didn’t want to leave anymore. She didn’t want the girl to treat her like this. She waited for her to tease her once again, like she always does.

But she didn’t.

“You may go. And call Chang for me and tell her to scrub in. Thank you.” Hope says not even looking at her, focusing her attention on Dana’s head and using a pen to draw the line of her cut. 

Josie‘s ability to move eventually came back and she quickly left the room. 

\\\

“Are we going to survive this?” Landon asks Josie while she rests her head on his shoulder. 

“I hope so.” Josie sighs. “I wish I could’ve chosen a different path now.”

“Then it wouldn’t be you.” 

Josie smiles softly. “When Lizzie and I told our mom we both wanted to become doctors, she would try to talk us out of it. She believed Lizzie would crack eventually, but she didn’t.”

“Well, mine still doesn’t take me seriously. She doesn’t even think I’m a nurse. I mean, that’s respectable too, right?” 

“It should be.” Josie chuckles.

“My brother still wants me to follow him to New Zealand to open a restaurant together.”

“Well, if we do survive this, we’ll pay at least a visit.” 

They exchange a soft smile. 

“Deal.” He says.

\\\

Josie walks by the hallway in the direction of the locker room, but as she passes next to a patient’s room, she stops outside to check on her. She’s not even her patient, it was Jade’s. But she notices that the woman is breathing heavily. 

She steps inside and checks the chart and the monitors. She studies the case in her head for a while. Antibiotics were not helping and this woman has just got out of surgery. This could mean many things. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Josie jumps frightened and quickly closes the chart in her hands. She turns around and hides it behind her back, but then she’s almost relieved to see that it was only Jade and not an attending.

She sighs heavily. “Um..I noticed that she’s short of breath.” 

Jade looks at her with a pointed look, almost irritated by the fact that Josie was trying to tell her how to do her job. But after all, someone needed to.

“So what? I already gave her the antibiotics.”

“But they’re not working. I think she might be a prime candidate for a pulmonary ambulus.”

“How would you diagnose?” 

This time is Dr. Williams who comes out of nowhere asking her the question. 

“A Spiral CT, VQ scan, provide O2, dose with Heparin, and consult for an IVC filter.”  
Josie says as if she was reading it out of the book.

Dorian glances at Jade giving her a scolding look. “Do exactly as she says. You’re lucky she saved your ass. And this woman.” 

Then he looks back at Josie. “You're the spitting image of your mother.” He smiles weakly and then leaves, while Josie feels both proud of herself but bad for the way Jade is looking at her. 

“Alyssa said you were a cheater in the game. I guess the hot nurse is ten steps ahead of us all.” She says with her arms crossed, slowly walking towards the brunette to shorten the distance between them. 

“I gave the surgery to Alyssa, so save it. And if I hadn’t noticed what was wrong with her, this woman probably would’ve died, because you can’t even pay real attention to your patients.” 

Jade’s tone grows angrier. “I had twenty patients to take care of today, I can’t take care of everyone by myself.” 

“But you have to. It’s what you have to do if you want to be a good doctor, Jade. Your careless attitude doesn’t match with the job you choose to do. So try to improve yourself on that.” 

Josie doesn’t notice that her tone was way more aggressive than before, and now Jade is looking at her with pierced lips and a straight jaw. 

She feels bad for a moment, but then again, the girl needed an awakening. So she leaves without looking back. 

\\\

Josie is standing by the window of the operation theatre, watching as Alyssa assists Hope into the surgery. She smiles to herself. She’s glad Alyssa is having her chance. Even though she can’t help but feel some kind of - _jealousy._

She hates that Hope talked to her that way. She should be relieved that maybe now Hope will take her words seriously, but for some reason she isn’t. 

But after all, it’s not about that. 

Josie knows that this was more than just a game. It becomes your whole life. Everything is just centered around the OR. Saving lives. So at this point, the only thing left to do is keep going forward, or forever walk away. 

There were so many reasons why this place was wrong for her, but also many others why it might be the right one. It was a minefield, but Josie would still try to walk across it and hopefully, coming out of it unharmed. Or maybe a few scratches. 

When Alyssa is finally done with the surgery, Josie follows her into what had already become their personal empty hallway and sits on the bed next to her.

“It was a good surgery.” Josie says.

“Yeah.” Alyssa says. And awkward silence falls between them. Then she breaks it after a few moments. “Should I be thanking you?” Her tone is soft, so Josie doesn’t take it as her usual way to be mean or poke.

Josie shakes her head. “It’s fine. Not a big deal.” 

“Did you get into a fight with your sugar mama to get me the surgery?” 

Josie chuckles. “She’s nothing to me, okay? And whatever..” She smiles at the girl. “It was worth it.” 

“Oh please don’t do that thing with me.”

“What thing?” 

“Feelings. I get nauseous.” Alyssa frowns and holds her stomach. 

Josie smiles. And thinks that maybe, just maybe, her and Alyssa might actually become good friends. “You should get some sleep.” 

“Yeah, you too. You look like a drug addict.” 

“You look even worse. And you smell like a homeless man.” 

“Whatever.” 

As the clock hit the fourty-eight hours, Josie and Lizzie finally left the building and walked to the car. 

“Jo? Mom’s doctor called. She says she was asking for us. And that we can go visit her even if it’s not visiting hours.” Lizzie says opening the car door and sitting on the passenger seat. 

“Yeah, let’s go then.” 

It was seven in the morning and both of them hadn’t been sleeping for two days, but that wasn’t going to stop them from seeing their mom. 

No one knew about their mom. They told everyone she was in Africa to help kids. Then the version changed and she was in a spiritual retreat. Then she was doing some experimental researchers. But nothing about this was true. 

Their mom noticed a rush a few months before and started a treatment, but it didn’t look good. She took a biopsy and turned out to be an inflammatory breast cancer. While she focused herself on saving other people’s lives, the cancer grew in no time. 

After the mastectomy, she kept having her chemotherapy and she seemed to be having a good response for a while. But then the cancer spread to her liver, and now they had to think fast. 

When they first heard about it, Josie and Lizzie felt as if their world was collapsing around them. 

The thing is, it’s always been them and their mom; only the three of them. 

The thought that she could die was something they refused to consider since the start of her treatment. She was the only family they had and they weren’t going to give up easily. 

When they walked into her hospital room, she was resting peacefully in her bed. Since the sunlight caressed directly her face, Lizzie walked in and closed the curtains to keep the room darker. 

Josie sat beside the woman and took her hand. The gesture was enough to make her open her eyes. A soft smile appears on her lips, happy to see Josie smiling back at her. 

“Hi mom.” She whispers.

“Hi baby.” She moves her eyes to glance at Lizzie too. “You two look terrible.” 

The three of them chuckle together. “Yeah, first day was a blast.” 

“Tell me all about it.” 

“Well, for starters, I had to do rectal exams.” Lizzie says with a grimace on her face.

“Oh poor baby.” Jo giggles, then she glances at Josie.

“Oh, where do I start...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I just made Hope quote Lexa? 😭 Maybe I did 😭 Sorry.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> try counting how many times i use the word penis.

“Okay, before out shift start you have to help me put all of these up the noticeboards all over the hospital. I can’t do it by myself.” Lizzie says while closing the car door.

Josie sighs while she starts the car engine. “Lizzie, why do we need to put these signs up? We could just ask Landon or Alyssa if they need a house. I really don’t feel like having strangers around.”

“No. Maybe we’ll find someone more interesting than the wingless bird and the asian mafia.”

“Lizzie! I like them.” Josie shouts and slams her hand on the steering wheel, still keeping her eyes on the road.

“If they’re our only candidates, then fine. But I really want that dusty house to see some action.” She glances inquisitively at her sister. “Speaking of action...what was the story about you and the attending? Was she talking about Mikaelson?” 

Josie suddenly felt a rush of panic and she hated how it quickly showed on her face, unable to even hide it.

“You slept with her?!” Lizzie screams while smirking amused. “I can’t believe you.”

“It was the night before our first day. I didn’t know her, okay?! Please keep your mouth shut about this. I don’t want to get in trouble with Bennett.”

“Fine, whatever.” She closes the distance to whisper to her face. “Was it good? Is she good? How many times did you come?”

“Oh my God, Lizzie! I’m driving!” 

“Give me details!”

“I was drunk! I don’t remember.”

Josie enters the parking lot of the hospital and finds a free spot. 

“You don’t remember? What if it was the best sex of your life and now you don’t even remember it? Fix it. Have sex with her again.” 

“Dear God.” Josie sighs and finally steps out of the car, walking as fast as possible to get away from Lizzie. 

“Hey! I’m not done with you!” 

//

Josie enters the locker room and starts putting up the _“Wanted Roommate”_ signs on the board.” 

“What does it mean no lame people allowed?” Alyssa asks with a frown and a cup of coffee in her hands.

“Just stupid Lizzie’s rule. Do you want to..?”

“Oh, no. Pass. I have a place. It really pains me though-“ She places a hand on her chest faking to be sorry. Josie smiles.

“Save it. I wouldn’t do that too if I were you.” 

“Maybe you should just kick your sister out.”

“I heard that, bitch.” Lizzie says emphasizing the last word. 

“I heard you’re looking for a roommate?” Landon asks while putting on his scrubs. 

Josie’s face lights up. “Yes! Will you please be my plus one? I get to choose one roommate and Lizzie gets to choose the other.” 

“I never agreed to that.” Lizzie says. 

“Shut up, Lizzie.” 

Lizzie opens her mouth in outrage and walks to her locker.

“Sure. Count me in.” Landon says smiling.

“Really?!” She jumps on him and pulls him into a hug. “Thank you. Okay, I have to go now. I won’t interview you, because I trust you. I’ll see you later.” 

She runs out into the hallway and calls the elevator. She waits it to reach the second floor, meanwhile she nervously turns around and watches the people around her. It’s only her second week here, but she feels like she can get used to this. 

The elevator dings and the doors burst open. As she turns around she’s hit with the sight of the auburn haired girl she so hard tried not to walk into during the past week.

Her soft smile hits Josie like a high wave crashing on the rocks. Josie can’t say she hasn’t been thinking about her though. She wants to hate her so bad, because that would make it easier, but she can’t. 

She feels drawn to her. 

But she has to stop herself from making a mistake. 

Josie returns the smile nervously and steps into the elevator next to the girl, but keeps her gaze fixed on the doors in front of her. 

“Did you know there’s a bar that plays jazz music in Mystic Falls?” Hope suddenly asks, still that annoying beautiful smile on her face.

“Um..no, I didn’t know that. You- you like jazz?” 

“Kinda reminds me of my home, New Orleans. I moved here just a few weeks ago, so I’m feeling a little nostalgic.” 

“Oh, I get that.” Josie simply says. Then she clears her throat and keeps looking at her own reflection on the doors. 

_How long does it take for this thing?_

“So there’s this bar that, like I said, plays jazz music every Friday night. It’s not far from here.” 

Josie looks at her with a forced-fake smile. “I’m not going out with you.” Then she turns back. 

Hope frowns. “I wasn’t going to ask you out.” 

Josie feels a little taken aback. _“Oh.”_ She wasn’t expecting this. “Good.” 

Then silence falls between them for a while more.

“Do _you_ want to go out with me?” Hope suddenly asks.

“W-what? Me?” Josie chuckles nervously. “No. Absolutely no.” 

Hope frowns. “You say that like it would be that bad going out with me.”

“It would be. You’re my attending, remember?” 

“Hmm..no, not really. That part, I forgot.” Hope smirks at her and then licks her bottom lip as she notices the distress Josie was in. 

Another moment of silence goes by. 

“Have you changed your mind yet?” Hope asks again.

Josie groans and raises her eyes at the ceiling in annoyance before facing the girl. “Are you serious?! I said no! Can’t you find someone else to date?” 

“I could, but no one would be as pretty.” 

Josie’s cheeks instantly flush and she finds herself trying not to choke on her own saliva while Hope looks at her as if she was looking at some artwork.

“Stop. Don’t do that.” Josie whispers.

“Do what?”

“You’re my teacher.”

“And I can give you free anatomy lessons.” Hope says in a low hoarse voice, stepping closer to the brunette.

Josie instantly pushes her away to put distance between them, throwing her against the wall. 

“You’re sexually harassing me! I could report you.” 

“I didn’t even touch you.” Hope is still smiling amused.

The girl doesn’t know shame. She doesn’t have boundaries. She could go on and on and don’t even feel bad after countless rejections. Josie wonders if Hope knows when it’s time to surrender. 

“You need to back off, okay?! From now on, you have to stay at least ten feet away from me. Can you do that?” 

“Can _you_ do that?” 

Suddenly the doors open and Hope walks out giving her one last satisfied smirk. Josie can only follow her gaze unable to answer, then the doors close again, and she lets out a deep breath. 

//

“We have a male with his penis chopped off?” Josie reads the chart with both a frowned and disgusted face. 

“Apparently his girlfriend found out he was cheating on him and she staged this whole night together only to get to that.” Jade says while laughing amused. 

“I don’t even know what to think.” 

“I think he deserved it.” 

“Wha- are you serious? And you want to live with me? I don’t even think you’re a real person at this point.”

“I can be whoever you want me to be.” Jade says stepping closer. Josie pushes her away.

“Do you people know what personal space is?!” She says both irritated and tired. 

“Relax. By the way, the police should come soon to question her. I have to go with Bennett to see the guy, and you-“ She takes a white mini fridge and places it on the desk. Josie looks confused. “You get to take the penis.” 

“Excuse me what?”

“You have custody of the penis, Parker. Have fun.” Jade smirks and walks away before Josie can say anything else. 

Suddenly Dana’s case didn’t seem that bad anymore. 

//

Alyssa walks into her patient’s room with Landon following her. She opens his chart and reads his diagnosis out loud. 

“You have a disorder called multinucleate cell angiohistiocytomum. It's not a cancerous sarcoma, it's very rare but minor. You'll be discharged today, okay?” 

“So I don’t need surgery?” The patient says in excitement.

“No. You’ll be just fine.” She forces a smile.

“I’m not going to die?!” He asks with teary eyes now. 

“No...like I said, you’re- good to go.” She forces a smile again. In the same moment a woman hugs and kisses Alyssa, the rest of the family sighs in relief. Landon tries to keep a laugh while looking at Alyssa’s discomfort. 

They quickly walk out of the room and stop by the nurse’s desk in the hallway.

“You’re scary when you smile. Don’t try so hard next time.” Landon says. 

“I will chop your wings off.” She says aggressively before turning her attention to Josie, who arrived next to them and placed the fridge on the desk.

“What’s that?” Landon asks.

“You don’t want to know, trust me.” Josie says resting her head in her hands.

“I do. What’s in there?” Lizzie asks suddenly coming from behind her. 

“A severed penis.” 

The three interns exchange a surprised look. 

“Wow. You really need to fix things with your hot-shot.” Lizzie says.

“My what?”

“Your sugar mama.” Alyssa clarifies.

“What- are you talking about? Who?” Landon asks genuinely confused. 

“Oh, Landon. You’re so naive, pure, innocent...” Lizzie says placing a hand on his shoulder. “Such a Bambi.” 

Lizzie and Alyssa are paged and that leaves Josie and Landon standing there. Josie has a pout and is staring at the white fridge.

“Do you have that face because you feel bad for the penis?” 

“I have this face because I hate this job.”

“No you don’t.”

“Then I hate watching over penises.” 

Landon huffs a laugh. “Do you wanna know what’s the best part of this place? Come with me.” 

They take the elevator that brings them to the third floor. 

“The nursery?” Josie asks while smiling at the sight of so many newborn babies on the other side of the glass. 

“They put everything in perspective. When I feel sad or angry, I come here and they put a smile on my face.” He says softly.

“Aww. You’re such a mommy.” 

Landon’s page beeps. 

“I have to go. But you stay. I’ll see you later.” They exchange a smile and he leaves.

Josie looks at these small beautiful humans and can’t help but feel at peace. Landon’s right. She can’t wait to have a family of her own, to be honest. She always pictured herself having at least three or four kids, even if she doesn’t see that actually happening anytime soon. 

Her eyes fall on a baby on the right side of the room. She notices that he looks...blue. Josie walks into the nursery and places the fridge on the table before walking to the crib. She checks him with her stethoscope. 

“What are you doing here?” An intern asks.

“The baby has a murmur. And he turned blue.” Josie says.

“You can’t stay here. You will get in trouble. Plus, this is my job, so go back to yours.” 

Josie ignores the arrogance of the girl and keeps asking her for informations. “Are you going to do any tests?”

“It's a benign systolic ejection murmur. It goes away with age.”

“Are you sure?” 

She knows she looks like a I-know-it-all, but she really had a bad feeling about this.

“You should get out of here.” The girl says in a more threatening way this time, picking up the phone. 

Josie just sighs and takes the fridge, then leaves the room. 

//

“You’re hot.” A man says to Lizzie while she’s bandaging his hand. 

“And you’re drunk. At 10:00 a.m.” 

“I lost track of time I guess.” He smiles and then takes a better look at her. “Wait, you’re that model...the one in that bikini on the surfboard.” 

“Yeah, that’s me.” She forces a smile.

“I have that picture up my bedroom wall. I can see you every night before I fall asleep.” He says smiling and chuckling at every word.

“I’m sure my face looks just like the one I’m giving you right now.” 

“You mean beautiful?” 

“Disgusted.” 

She finishes his bandage and walks away. 

//

Josie chases Dr. Williams into the hallway and bumps into two or three nurses before he finally stops walking and she can reach him.

“Dr. Williams? Do you have a moment?”

“What, Parker?” 

“There’s a baby in peds. I saw him have a tet spell, I think I hear a murmur.”

“Hmm. Did peds call us for a consult?”

“Actually no, they’re not doing anything about it-“

“Then it’s not our problem.” He starts walking away.

“But-“ 

“I’m busy Parker!” He yells while he’s already half the corridor away. 

Josie sighs and rests her shoulders. She shakes her head in defeat and goes back to the elevator, waiting for the doors to open.

When the doors open she meets the very same girl who had been tormenting her even when she’s not around. As she meets Hope’s gaze she sighs and turns around.

“I’ll take the stairs.” 

“Oh, very mature of you.” 

Josie turns around and looks at her with a pout, then she walks determined towards the doors and stops them from closing. She steps in, then she moves on the opposite side of the elevator. She keeps quiet.

“Having a bad day?” Hope genuinely asks.

“There’s..this baby.” She sighs. “I don’t think he’s okay. But the intern of peds says he’s fine. But he doesn’t look fine. And I hate that I can’t do anything just because I’m nothing but an intern.” 

Hope looks at her almost with tenderness, her voice is soft as always. “You’re not nothing. You’re someone. Just because you don’t have a greater title, doesn’t mean people shouldn’t be listening to you.” 

Josie stares at her with a look that is hard to read. She was mesmerized by the other girl. Maybe she just admired her. Or- maybe she just wanted...to kiss her? 

“Don’t let the bosses silence you. You have a voice and you have knowledge. Use it.” 

Josie hadn’t realized she had gotten so close to the girl while she was talking to her, and now both of their gazes were shifting from their eyes to each other’s lips. 

Hope’s breath got stuck in her throat, while she could easily feel Josie‘s warm breath on her lips.

Suddenly Josie crashes their lips together in an angry and urgent kiss. Hope brings her hands under Josie’s scrub shirt and presses their bodies together. She can feel the warmth of Josie’s skin under her fingers and- _it’s addicting._

Josie runs her fingers through strands of auburn hair, while her tongue makes her way between Hope’s lips asking for access. She deepens the kiss and just as her hand slips under Hope’s shirt, the girl lets out a moan in response that makes Josie feel dizzy. 

Suddenly the memories of their night together didn’t seem so blurry anymore. And Hope’s sound felt like both the sweetest and sexiest thing she’s ever heard. 

Both of them are breathing heavily, but neither of them can bring themselves to break the contact and catch hair. It’s like competing for who will give up first. And Josie really doesn’t want to lose this one.

But sadly, the elevator beeps and they’re forced to break the kiss in less than a half second. Josie just takes her fridge and runs out of the elevator, while other doctors step in. 

Hope sighs, trying to recover from the most unexpected experience she’s ever had. She abandons her back against the wall, as she feels all her senses heightened by Josie’s touch and kisses. 

//

Josie sits besides Alyssa in the lobby, distracting her from her reading time.

“What are you doing here?” 

“Still watching over the penis. And you?”

“Having some me-time. And hiding from Jade. I can’t stand her.” 

“I kissed Hope.” 

Alyssa closes her book and leans forward to face Josie.

“You kissed Mikaelson.” She states.

“In the elevator.” 

She opens her mouth in surprise. “In the-“ 

“I wanted her so bad.” She admits with a pained frown.

“Okay. So this is what you do when you’re sexually frustrated? You go and try to screw your sugar mama in the elevator?”

“No.” She clarifies. “I‘m having a bad day. And she said something nice and I just-“

“Ohh. So you got horny over her attempt to be a decent person. That’s even-“

“Worse! I know!” Josie groans. Then they get up and start walking back to their floor. 

“Maybe you should..I don’t know, try to have another one time thing? Maybe it’s not her. Maybe it’s just you dying to be a slut.” 

Josie hits her with a dead look. “I’m not that desperate.” 

As they turn the corner Bennett walks up to them. “We have to sew the penis to the guy. Scrub in you two.” She says as she walks away. 

“Great. Now I’ll remember my first surgery because of the guy who got his penis bitten off.” Josie says discouraged. 

Alyssa can’t help but laugh. “I feel so sorry for you right now.”

“Feel worse for him. He won’t be able to have sex anymore.” 

“We should give his penis a funeral.” 

“You’re right. We should.”

They stop in the middle of the hallway, both of them holding the fridge. They close their eyes and lower their heads down. 

Suddenly Landon and Lizzie walk by and they stop to look at the two girls standing in the hallway. 

“What- are you two doing?” Lizzie says with a frown.

“Giving a funeral to the penis. Would you like to say a few words?” Josie asks.

“You two have clearly lost it.” Lizzie says and then walks away. 

Josie is still looking at Landon, waiting for him to say something, but he just stares at her. Then he presses his lips together and points at the chart in his hand, ultimately running away. 

//

Josie goes back to the nursery and sees a woman holding the baby she has been worried about the entire day. 

“Hi.” Josie smiles.

“Hi. Are you the doctor?” 

“Um- not his doctor. But..I think you need to ask for more tests.”

“Why?” The woman looks worried.

“Just talk to his doctor and ask do to an echo.”

“What are you doing here?” A resident enters the room along with the same intern she’s argued before.

“It’s her.” The intern says to her resident.

“You’ll be in serious trouble if you don’t go back to your business.”

“Is it true? That my baby is not okay?” The woman’s voice shakes.

“No, ma’am. She’s an intern, she doesn’t know the first thing of what’s wrong or not  
with him.” 

Josie’s rage grows more. “Oh really? How sure are you?!” She yells at him.

“What’s going on here?! Parker!” Dr. Williams calls her out. Then he walks outside with the resident.

“Ryan, what’s the matter?” Williams asks him. 

“She assumes that the baby needs more tests. That his murmur is not benign.” 

“And you’re sure it is?” 

“Yes.”

“How sure?” 

“100%.”

He gives him a pointed look. The man rolls his eyes. 

“Maybe 75%.”

“Not enough. He’s my patient now.” He walks into the room again. “Parker, I want an EKG, a chest x-ray, and an echo. I don't have all day.” 

She smiles in relief and nods. Then he walks out.

//

After all the exams are done, Josie goes to check on the baby for the last time before the end of her shift. The other intern steps next to her.

“I really thought I was right. Now he‘s scheduled for a heart surgery in the morning.”

“We almost never are right. Sometimes what we think it could be, it is. Never underestimate your instinct.” Josie says, repeating the words her mother always said to her. 

“That’s the thing. I..didn’t have that instinct. I didn’t think through it.”

Josie looks at her with tenderness. “I know it’s scary. But you won’t make the same mistake again.” 

“I hope so.” She looks up to meet the brunette’s gaze. “Thank you.” 

//

Josie walks down the hallway towards the locker room to finally change and head home, but as she turns around the corner, she bumps into Hope. For the third time in a day. 

But this time she didn’t feel like running away from her. 

Hope smiles widely at her. A smile that almost makes her blue eyes sparkle. 

“How can you still look this good after twenty four hours shift?” Hope says walking alongside with the brunette.

Josie chuckles. “I’m leaving now. Finally.” 

“You know, I have three uncles and four aunts. They’re very protective of me. They would probably jump on the first plane if I ever happen to be in an accident. Not to mention my dad -he would tear you apart.” 

“Me? Why would he tear me apart?” 

“Because you’re breaking my heart.” She puts on a pout and places a hand on her heart while she keeps walking backwards just in front of the brunette. 

Josie can’t help the laugh. “I knew you had feelings for me.”

“Don’t be so sure of yourself, Parker.”

“Don’t talk to me then.” 

“So we can kiss but I can’t ask you out?” She smirks.

“That was just a moment. My inhibitions were lowered. I blame the penis in the fridge.”

“The- what?” Hope frowns.

“Never mind.”

“Fine. You don’t want to go out? Then we’ll do the kissing. I’m all in for the kissing.” 

Josie stops and rests her head and back against the wall, while Hope places her hand against it so to block Josie’s way into the locker room. 

“You still have to stay ten feet away from me.” Josie says trying to sound serious, but unable to keep herself from smiling to the girl. 

Hope’s eyes wander from Josie’s eyes to her full lips.

“I can’t.” She whispers. Then she gets closer. 

Josie clears her throat and looks down the hallway, fearing that anyone might see them. 

“I..have to go.” Josie says, her voice shaking.

Hope follows Josie’s movements with her lips, trying to catch them with her own, but Josie manages to get away and enter the locker room, closing the door behind her. 

She breathes heavily and rests her back against the door. 

Hope Mikaelson was going to be her biggest problem.


	4. Chapter 4

Josie wakes up with the loud ringing of her alarm. She groans and shuts it off, staying in bed a few more minutes before having to get up and face the new day. 

But then the door bursts open and Lizzie storms into the room.

“We are out of hot water, because Landon was under the shower for fourty minutes! And Jade is in the kitchen making pancakes and I can’t believe she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us.” She pretends to cry. 

“Do you have a crush on Jade?” Josie looks at her suspiciously. 

“Just because she doesn’t make us starve do death, doesn’t mean I want to eat her too.” She storms out just like she stormed in.

“That...doesn’t answer the question.” Josie says to herself. 

At 6:00 am, all of them are already outside the hospital, walking through the parking lot.

“I swear to God, if I see your naked ass again, I’m sending you to sleep with the neighbors’ chickens.” Lizzie says enraged.

“I was just getting out of the shower! And you shouldn’t have been there in the first place!” Landon shouts at her.

“I had to pee, you butt-face!”

“I knew his face reminded me of something.” Jade says raising a finger in the air. 

“Next time just lock the door Lan, please.” Josie says softly. 

“Fine. Whatever. Plus, you girls walk around the house in your panties all the time! You try not to do that.”

“I don’t walk around the house like that, Jade does.” Josie says.

“Neither do I.” Lizzie says.

“Liar. I’ve seen your sexy lingerie.” Jade says smirking at Lizzie, whose cheeks instantly flush red. But no one seems to notice that. 

“Oh and Landon, it’s your turn to do the shopping. We need tampons.” Jade says.

“Tampons? I’m not buying tampons for you!”

“You live with three girls, what did you expect? Oh right, you don’t know how that works.” Lizzie says. 

“I’m a doctor just like you!” 

“Someone is a little on edge huh. Maybe you need your own attending.” Lizzie says. 

“Lizzie, shut up now.” Josie says.

And as the doors open they walk in the elevator.

//

Josie sits on the bench to tie her shoes while Alyssa is applying some cream on her hands. 

“I'd better get good patients today. Yesterday I had two guys with colostomies who needed dressing changes every 15 minutes.”

“I’m gonna be in surgery today.” Alyssa says with a proud smile.

“On what?” 

“Who knows.” 

“You know something, don’t you?”

She follows Alyssa towards the door. 

“Why would I? I’m not the one screwing an attending.” She says as she turns around the corner of the hallway.

“I’m not screw-“ Josie stops as she finds herself facing Hope. 

“Hi.” Josie says almost squealing nervously. 

“Good morning to you too.” Hope says walking with her. 

“You’re here early.”

“I have a chordotomy at 5:00. I’ll be out at 6:00. Can I buy you breakfast later?” 

Josie’s surprised by the unexpected offer. 

“I-no, thank you, I’ve already eaten.”

“You did? What did you have?”

“Jade made pancakes.” 

Hope frowns. “Jade? Who’s Jade? Do I know her?” 

Josie tries to hide a smile. 

_She cares._

“My roommate.” 

“Oh. You found a roommate then.” 

“Hmm, I did.” 

“Maybe we should be roommates.” 

“Haha- not a chance. You’ll be late for your surgery Dr. Mikaelson. Bye.” She says waving at the girl. 

Hope smiles widely and amused. “I like how you say it.” Then she walks to the opposite direction and they part ways. 

//

“Josie, you really need to keep Lizzie in line, please?” Landon pleads her.

“Why do you think I have the power to keep my sister in line? Have you met her?” 

“She keeps treating me like some stupid kid. Why won’t she respect me like I do with all of you?” 

Josie narrows her eyes and stares at him closely. “Do you have a crush on my sister?” 

“What?! No! She’s not the one I have a crush on.”

“So you do have a crush on someone. Please tell me it’s not an attending Landon. I guarantee you, it can only get messy.”

“No it’s not...it doesn’t matter.” He sighs and then walks away. 

//

Bennett enters the doctors common room, where Josie, Jade and Landon where having coffee and waiting for something to come up.

“You three, head down to trauma. Mikaelson needs you.”

“Isn’t she in surgery?” Josie asks confused. 

“Not anymore. Go.” 

And with that she leaves.

“I wonder how you know Mikaelson’s schedule.” Jade smirks. 

“It’s not because of what you think.” 

They walk the hallway and then step into the elevator. 

“So you’re...available?” She says walking closer to the brunette, blocking her against the wall. 

Josie sighs and tries to keep her composure. “For what?” 

“To have a date night in my room. Or yours.”

“You realize that would be wrong on so many levels?” 

“Why?” 

“Because you pay me rent!” 

Jade frowns. “I don’t follow-“

“That would make me feel like I’m your prostitute.” 

“Oh come on. You’re just using that as an excuse.” 

The elevator doors open.

“We’re not having sex, Jade. Try somewhere else.” She walks towards the trauma room while Jade and Landon follow behind her. 

“I can be very persistent, Josie.” She smirks.

As they arrive next to Hope, they look at the screen showing x-ray of a man with 7 nails in his head. 

Josie frowns and leans forward to look at the screen. “Those are-“ 

“Nails. Yes.” Hope answers.

“I can’t see anything.” The man on the bed says.

“Use 4 mg’s of morphine. I don’t want him to move.” Hope says. 

“Sir, we need you to stay still now, okay?” Josie says gently, holding the man’s arm. 

“His name is Scott Freeman. He tripped and fell down a flight of stairs holding a nail gun.”

“Good Lord.” Landon says brushing his own forehead. 

“Somehow he managed to miss a blood vessel. That's a minor miracle. Optic nerve's been affected. He feels numbness on his right side. What's our immediate concern?” Hope questions them, as any attending is used to do with their interns.

“Infection.” Josie says. 

“Right. I wanna be pulling these nails out in the next half-hour. I need a CT.”

“CT's are down.” Another doctor says. 

“Really?! God. You two-“ She points at Landon and Jade. “Find a solution. Think fast.” 

Meanwhile Josie stays with the patient and asks him some questions.

“You said your health has been good recently?”

“Maybe some headaches, but nothing like now. My wife always tells me not to use that thing.” He says with a hint of regret. 

Soon after, his wife comes in. 

“Scott! What have you done baby?” She says caressing his face. Then she looks at Josie. “Will he be okay?”

“He says he’s been having headaches. Can you tell me about them? Are they recent?”

“Um..maybe the last couple of months.”

“Has he been dizzy or disoriented?” Josie asks with the chart in her hands. 

“Yes, he has.”

“Okay. We’ll look more into this Mrs. Freeman. And then I’ll see you after the surgery.” 

She gives the woman a reassuring smile and walks out.

//

Josie enters the scrub room for Hope’s surgery. It’s the first time Josie sees her with the scrub cap, and she still looks amazing. 

“Hey. Updates?” Hope asks her while she washes her hands.

“He experiences light-headeness. He said he tripped down the stairs unconscious. Something must have caused that. It could be a tumor.” Josie states. 

“I have no idea how is he even alive, but let’s just get him through this.”

“Wait- if you can’t do the CT or a MRI...”

Hope sighs. “I’m on my own. I’ll just...try to do my best. As always.” She walks towards the sliding doors of the OR with her arms and hands in the air, then she turns around again. “Oh. I almost forgot. Scrub in. You’re assisting me.” Then she walks in.

Josie smiles and quickly washes her hands and gets ready to enter the OR. 

“Okay people, let’s do this right. It’s always a beautiful day to save lives.” Hope says while she takes place above the patient’s head. 

Josie stands next to her, following her every movement. From the cut on the head to her meticulous research for all the seven nails, which she manages to take out perfectly.

“Irrigate here Josie, please.” 

Josie does so. 

After closing everything up, Hope finally lets out a deep breath.

“All right, I don’t think we made it worse. We’ll see how he is in the morning.”

“Should we het him an MRI?” Josie asks.

“No. First we let him stabilize.” 

“Okay.”

“But you were right, there is a tumor.”

Josie’s face drops. “I really didn’t want to be right this time.”

//

The next day Josie meets Hope to do a check up on Scott and also tell him about his tumor and how the surgery will work.  
Josie is standing silently next to Hope. The only thing she can think is that now he recovered his sight, but a tumor might now number his days. 

It hits her. How her mom has been fighting between chemos for months, and how this is actually destroying her day by day. She wasn’t going to give up, ever, but as a doctor, she needed to face reality. 

Suddenly she forces herself to shake off those thoughts and listen to Hope talking next to her. 

“The best I can do is probably remove part of it, but not all of it. Between radiation and chemo, he can have maybe five to ten good years.” Hope says.

“Okay. I want to do it.”

“You have to know that the tumor is located in a part of your brain where your memory and personality resides. And because of the fuzzy edges of the tumor, I have to cut out a lot. And you have high chances to lose your memories. Of losing who you are. The alternative is gamma or cyberknife treatment with focus radiation. It's less evasive. There's little chance of memory loss or you losing yourself but it would only give you maybe three to five years.”

“This..is a lot to think about.” His wife says.

“I know. I’ll give you some time. I’ll be outside when you’re ready.” Hope gives them a kind smile and walks outside, soon followed by Josie. 

//

While Josie is in the hallway writing on her patient’s chart, a stranger woman walks up to her.

“Oh my God, you look so much like her.” 

Josie raises her gaze in surprise and turns to look behind her, unsure if the woman was actually talking to her. But when she sees the brunette still smiling at her, she wonders if she might have mistaken her for someone else.

“Um..I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“You’re one of Jo’s daughters, aren’t you? Josie?” 

“Oh, y-yes. Who’s asking?”

“I’m Elena.” They shake hands. “I knew your mother back when you still weren’t in the picture.”

“Oh! Yes. I think she mentioned you a few times. You trained with her, right?”

“Yeah. She taught me everything I know about general surgery. Now I moved to New York and I’m working there as an attending. I’m here for a consult.” 

Josie felt jealous for a moment. Probably if her mother wasn’t sick right now, she wouldn’t be feeling like a fish out of water. She would have her mother teaching her all she needs to know, but something wanted to take that chance away from her.

“That’s amazing. Congratulations.” Josie says giving her a kind smile.

“Thank you. How is she by the way? I haven’t seen her in forever.” 

That’s the question she was afraid of answering. No one knew about her mother because she didn’t want anyone to know, or else the press and the medical department would go crazy. 

_“Josette Parker has cancer? That’s a shame. She was a great Doctor.”_

And Josie would say that she is a great Doctor. Present tense. She’s still the best. She’s her mom. Her role model. 

Should she be telling this to a stranger? Should she trust her?

“Um..she’s-she..” She stutters. Then she meets the kind gaze of the brunette again, and feeling some sense of trust, she tells her. “She’s in a clinic. She’s sick.”

Elena’s face drops in shock, but she stays silent.

“She has breast cancer. She’s having her chemo now.”

“Since when?” 

“Six months.” 

Elena raises her eyebrows and sighs sadly. 

“Yeah, I know. Now she’s..getting worse. After the mastectomy we found out the cancer had spread to her liver. Now I’m trying to get her into a trial...”

“You should talk to the doctors about this, ask for their advice.” 

“I already did, but they advised me against it.” 

“And what do you think?”

Josie intertwines her fingers together nervously. “I..I just want her to live. I want her to have a chance.” 

Elena smiles sadly and places a hand on Josie’s. “You have every right to want this. But think about all the pros and cons, okay? Don’t let the fear of losing your mother cloud your judgment.” 

Josie nods in understanding. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. And don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul. But I will give her a call to see how she’s doing.” 

“I think she’ll be happy to hear from a friend.” Josie smiles softly, Elena smiles back.

“Goodbye Josie, have a good day.” 

“You too.” 

She takes a deep breath, taking in Elena’s words and thinking about her mother once again. Now she also had to hear about Scott’s decision and these two situations, too similar between them, were making her feel very tense. 

But she sucked it up, and went to find Hope to hear the patient’s final decision. 

//

Josie sees Hope coming out of Scott’s room before she can get in. 

“They want the surgery.” Hope tells her.

“They want to cut it out?”

“It’s their decision.” 

Hope walks away before Josie can say something else, but as she sees Scott’s wife coming out of the room, Josie stops her to talk to her.

“Maria, think about this. What would five years more be if he won’t remember you?”

“It’s still five more years with him.” She says coldly.

“But he won’t be the man you love anymore. What if he’s doing it out of love but hates the fact that won’t be able to remember you?” 

Maria swallows hard and tries not to burst into tears. “It’s still our decision.” 

“Josie? What’s going on here?” Hope asks with a frowned face and a scolding tone, just like when the teacher catches you with your phone during the lesson.

“She needs to think it through.” Josie says looking at Hope.

“I did! This is his decision. I didn’t choose for him. So if he wants this, I’ll take anything.” 

“I’m so sorry Maria. Forgive her, she’s just an intern..” 

Maria nods in understanding but runs away before she can start crying in front of them. Hope turns her gaze to Josie, and she swears that disappointed Hope is even worse than cold Hope. 

“You had no right to do that. You can’t do that, Josie. Question the patient’s decision? They know the risks! I told them! They don’t need an intern to call them out.”

Josie scoffs a laugh, feeling almost hurt. “So I’m just an intern now.” 

Hope squeezes her eyes hating herself for saying that in the first place. “That’s not what I meant. You know that-“ 

“Oh I know, Dr. Mikaelson. I know that I should stay in my place, because I’m not you. Fine, I’ll stay silent then.” She walks away bumping abruptly against Hope’s shoulder, ignoring the fact that she kept calling her, and didn’t look back. 

She should’ve known that it was wrong. She did know it was wrong, but wasn’t Hope who told her not to stay silent in the first place? To get people to listen even when they don’t want to? 

At least she tried. She had to. But now Hope was disappointed with her, while she believed Hope was the only one who actually believed in her. 

She opens both doors of the empty hallway to sit on the beds alone and try to cool down the anger. She brings her legs to the chest and abandons her forehead on her knees. 

Soon after, someone else sits next to her in silence. She turns her head to see Alyssa with a sad face.

“Bad day?” Josie asks.

“I lost a patient today. I- had to call her death. It was-“ The words get stuck in her throat. 

Josie looks at her with sympathy. She knows that’s the worst part of the job, but being actually there to witness it, makes you feel powerless. As if whatever knowledge you have of medicine could never be enough.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah.” She turns her gaze to the brunette. “What’s up with you?”

“I got into a fight with Hope.” 

Alyssa sighs tiredly. “What did she do now?”

“Nice of you to assume I wasn’t the one screwing up.” Josie smiles. “I..tried to tell the wife of a patient that their decision was wrong.” 

“Josie...” 

“I know. It was wrong. I see that now.”  
She sighs. “But she called me an intern.” 

“Which you are.” 

“Yes but...Hope didn’t make me feel like it at first. But now she throws that to my face and I hate it.” 

In that same moment, Lizzie and Jade join them too. Lizzie lays down to another bed while Jade sits next to Josie. 

“I think Landon has been avoiding me all day.” Jade says.

“Maybe if you were nicer to him, he wouldn’t be avoiding you.” Josie bursts out. 

“Someone here is a little tense.” Lizzie says with her eyes closed. 

“Do you need to release some tension?” Jade says leaning over her with a smirk.

“I can punch you, you know?”

“Please do.” She tries to kiss her but Josie pushes her away pressing her elbow to Jade’s stomach. 

“Ouch!” 

“Would you two please stop it?!” Lizzie shouts from her bed. 

“What time does your shift end?” Alyssa asks Josie.

Josie checks the clock. “Twenty minutes.”

“Should we go to the bar down the road and get some booze?” 

“Yes, please.” 

Both of them get up at the same time and walk upstairs to the locker room to get changed and leave. 

After another day like this, Josie really needed to take her mind off for a few hours. 

As they were leaving the building, Josie notices Hope walking out of the elevator and stops to look at her, feeling the sudden need to apologize. She looks at Alyssa who instantly gets why Josie had suddenly stopped.

“I’ll meet you outside. I just..need to talk to her for a moment.”

“Go talk to your sugar mama. But be quick.” She smirks and walks outside.

As Josie turns around she finds Hope getting closer to where she was standing, and she notices the brunette looking at her, clearly wanting to say something. 

She stops in front of her and stays silent. She seems both tired and sad, Josie thinks. And this only makes her sadder.

“I’m..sorry. What I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have talked to her that way. And you were right.” 

“No Josie, I wasn’t. I shouldn’t have said that to you. You’re not just an intern. And I’m not saying that because of who your mother is..” She sighs nervously. “I’m saying this because I respect you. And I don’t want you to feel like you’re worth less than me just because you’re still learning. I don’t want to be like Bennett.” 

Josie chuckles and this suddenly snatches a smile from Hope too. “You could never be that bad.”

“Thank you, that’s reassuring.” 

Hope gives her the sweetest smile and they just stand there and stare at each other for a moment. Hope’s gaze wander to Josie’s full lips for a second, as she always does. They’re..captivating, Hope thinks. 

But then she quickly looks away. 

“Um- well, I should probably go. Alyssa is waiting for me and she’ll kill me if I don’t take her to get drunk.” Josie says. 

“I’m still holding you on that breakfast, you know.”

“Oh. Right. We never had that.” She smiles. Then she rolls her eyes. “Fine. Maybe just for once, I’ll grant you that. But only because I feel bad for what I did.”

“Oh please, keep doing bad things if this is your way of apologizing.” Hope smirks.

Josie rolls her eyes and starts walking away. “Goodnight Dr. Mikaelson.”

And Hope keeps watching her with a wide smile on her face, until she can’t see her anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to ask me something about the story of just talk, follow me on twitter. @/darkaylee


	5. Chapter 5

When Josie was a kid, her biggest worry was what she was going to do during the day, what games she would want to play, and what she should ask as her birthday gift or for Christmas.

Adulthood, on the other hand, was the worst you could ever expect.

Sure, it had its positive sides. Like sex and...well, maybe just the sex. As for the rest, it was a total bitch. It’s like the happy bubble you were living in until you were twelve or thirteen years old, suddenly pops and you’re surrounded by responsibilities, headaches, sleepless nights, roommates, deaths.

Josie didn’t know which of those things were worse. Having roommates wasn’t so bad when they all had good days. During the bad days? That was another story. 

As for death, unfortunately she had chosen a job that would force her to see lots of it. But she wasn’t scared of that. She would be sad, that’s for sure. But the only death that would really scare her, was probably the one of that person very close to her. Her mom.

She had to get up early in the morning to go to her mom’s clinic and talk to the doctors about the trial, while Lizzie had to start her shift early and she couldn’t go with her. 

“Like I said Miss, I believe your mother shouldn’t go further with the treatment. It’s too much of a risk. There are many sides effect that could worsen her condition. And your mother is aware of that.” The doctor says.

“My mom doesn’t want to do the trail?” Josie asks with a pained voice.

“No.“ The doctor says sadly.

“But..what does that mean? That my mom is just going to die at any moment?” Her voice cracks at the end.

“I’m just saying you should make the best of however much time she still has. I’m so sorry Josie.” She says softly to the brunette.

Josie nods while a single tear falls down her cheek. She quickly wipes it away and clears her throat. “It’s fine. I-um..I should get to work. I’ll stop by tomorrow.” 

//

“Landon, we need more ice and tequila.” Lizzie says. 

“How many people did you invite?”

“Um- Trauma, Peds and Plastics. And maybe the nurses from the second floor.”

“The nurses?!” Jade squints in shock.

“Oh come on, some of them are nice.” 

“What about hot?” 

Lizzie rolls her eyes. “Is hitting on people the only thing you do on your free time? Oh wait, correction- all the time.” 

“You’re just jealous I’m not hitting on you.” Jade says placing her hands on the table and leaning closer to the blonde, who is now facing her closely.

“Jealous? Is that a thing? I don’t know what that is.” Lizzie says narrowing her eyes and getting even closer to provoke her.

Jade’s gaze wanders from Lizzie’s eyes to her lips, but before she can act on her thoughts, Bennett calls her.

“Montgomery! Stop flirting and get your ass here.” 

“Yes ma’am. I’m coming.” Jade quickly walks outside following the woman almost like a soldier, while her friends witness the moment in amusement. 

While Jade follows her to do morning check ups on patients, Bennett starts talking to her.

“Am I invited?”

“Excuse me?”

“To this party.”

“Oh.” Jade panics. Lizzie would probably kill her. But so would Bennett. “Of course! Attendings included. I’ll write down the address for you.” 

“Great.” 

//

Josie walks into the hospital already feeling the weight of the day on her shoulders. She kept taking very deep breaths and try to focus on her job instead of thinking about the fact that her mom had no chance. 

How can she even go through the day carrying that information with her? 

The elevator opens and she steps in. She’s soon followed by the auburn haired girl, who smiles at her with such tenderness that Josie feels that weight lessen a little. She returns a weak smile.

“Are you okay?” Hope asks. 

“Yeah. I’m okay.” Josie lies, not meeting Hope’s gaze.

“You seem sad. What’s wrong?” 

Her softness could almost make Josie burst in tears. And the last thing she wanted was to cry in front of Hope. They weren’t that far in their- _work relationship._

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Josie says firmly. 

Hope seems even more worried now. But she can’t just let the brunette start her day like this.

“Do you want to grab some breakfast?” Hope asks.

“I’m- really not in the mood, Hope. I’m sorry.” She almost whispers. 

“I’m not trying to hit on you. I just want you to take a moment for yourself. Even if you don’t want to talk about it. Then I’ll talk. What do you say?” 

Josie meets her hopeful gaze for the first time that morning. Those soft blue eyes were enough to make her feel like someone was hugging her and trying to take away her pain. She forces a smile.

The elevator opens and suddenly Josie is called by Dr. Williams. 

“Parker! You’re here. Come on, get changed, you scrub in with me for a heart surgery.” 

Josie looks at Hope with an apologizing look but the girl’s smile hadn’t faded. 

“It’s okay. Go. We can reschedule.” 

Josie smiles softly and then steps out, walking towards the locker room to get changed. 

//

“Temperature?” Dr. Williams asks while focusing on the heart in his hands.

“96 and rising, Sir.” The doctor says.

“Come on.” He strokes the heart in his hands while the screen shows a flat line.  
“Paddles.” 

He puts paddles next to the heart and then steps back. “Clear.” Then a shock hits the heart and it starts beating again.

“There. We have rhythm. All right. Let’s close.” 

As the surgery is over, before throwing away her dirty gloves, Josie notices the hole on one of her fingers and she has the feeling she might have fucked up while she was holding the heart. What if a piece of the glove was still inside? Should she say it? She probably should. Maybe she...

As she turns around to look for Dr. Williams, she can’t find him. He’s already gone. And Josie scratches her forehead and sighs.

“Damn it.”

//

She enters the elevator seeing Hope with a chart in her hands. She smiles widely at the brunette.

“Did you get to hold the heart?”

“I did.” Josie says smiling trying to hide her panic. 

“It’s a great feeling.” 

“It was amazing just to watch. I would’ve probably fainted.” Landon says standing behind them. 

The elevator opens and Hope walks out giving Josie one last look. Then Landon steps next to her and Josie’s smile drops.

“I think I squeezed the heart too much while I was holding it. And I cut my glove with my fingernails.”

“Oh God, um, are you sure?”

“I don’t know! What if I punctured her heart?” 

“You would have known. If the heart started beating again then she’s okay.” 

“So I shouldn’t tell Williams?”

“Why? I mean the woman is okay. There’s no need.” 

“There’s no need.” She repeats to convince herself.

“Yeah.” 

She sighs heavily. “There’s no need. She’s okay.” She repeats again.

//

“How long has your back been hurting you?” Jade asks the patient.

“It’s chronic. It means I always have it.” 

“I know what it means. How much pain on a scale from 1 to 10?” 

“Oh man, I think at least 11. It’s like I have elephants sitting on my back.”

“Maybe we’ll start with morphine then.” She says. 

“Maybe you should give me something stronger. Morphine doesn’t work with me.”

Jade notices lots of scars from needles on his arm. She doesn’t say anything and goes to look for Hope.

“He’s exaggerating his pain. He’s a junkie.” 

“And what does this mean?”

“That I have to look into his history and discharge him.”

Hope raises her voice. “No. It means you have to give him what he asks. You have to treat his pain as if it were real. And then discharge him.”

“But-“ 

“What’s your name again?” Hope asks.

Jade frowns in confusion, not knowing what that had to do with anything. “I’m Jade, Montgomery.” 

Hope nods in realization and scoffs a laugh. _“It’s you.”_

“Me?”

“Nothing. Give him what he asks. End of discussion.” 

And she walks away.

//

Dr. Williams rushes into the room of his patient whose heart is collapsing.

“What happened?!”

“Started having some swelling over the sternum and then the blood just started gushing.” 

Josie soon follows inside with a panicked look on her face.

“Call the OR! Parker?!”

“She was stable! Everything was stable.” Josie urges.

“What the hell went wrong then?!”

“I- I popped a glove.” Josie sighs heavily waiting for the worst to come, but Williams only stares at her blankly and then rushes out of the room with the patient.

She knows the worst would come later.

While they were in the OR, Williams kept scolding her while he was fixing the woman.

“What were you thinking?! You had every opportunity to tell me before I closed up!”

“I’m sorry.” Josie says genuinely. 

“God. Look at this wall rupture.” 

Suddenly Bennett storms into the OR. “I just had a conversation with her husband. I want copies of his wife's chart in my office by 5:00. Tomorrow morning, the two of you are going to meet with me and legal and you better damn well be able to explain what happened here.” 

Then she walks out.

“You're going to go back and talk to the husband. Review the history. Apologize. You’re on the line, Parker.” Williams says.

//

Lizzie walks up to Alyssa and Landon in the interns common room.

“Ok so, the beer's coming at 7:00 and some of the nurses are bringing wine.” 

“Lizzie, have you told your sister about the party?” Alyssa asks honestly curious.

“Well, I haven’t seen my dear sister all day, so...”

“She’s so gonna kill you.” Alyssa says amused. “And I’m going to dance around your dead body.” 

“Once she comes home she can’t do anything about it. This way, I don’t have to argue with her about it.” 

“This is a bad idea.” Landon says.

“So was picking you as a roommate, but that wasn’t me.” 

Alyssa chuckles and then Lizzie gets paged. She walks away just as Josie arrives into the room looking desperate.

“What’s wrong?” Alyssa asks.

“I might get kicked out of the program.” She sits and abandons her head in her hands.

“No you won’t. You’re a freaking Parker.” Alyssa says.

“But I screwed up!”

“It’s just a formality Jo. I’m sure the husband will drop everything.” 

“I really hope you’re right.”

//

Hope walks into her patient room where Jade was checking on him. 

“Mr. Frost! How are we doing?” She asks with a smile.

“I’m great Doctor! You’re an angel!”

Hope laughs. “Thank your other doctor here. She took good care of you.”

“She doesn’t like me very much I assume.”

“Oh no, it’s not you. She’s just like this with everyone.” Hope says while Jade gives her an angry look. 

“So Mr. Frost, I believe we’re done for today, you may be discharged.”

“You can’t discharge me. I’m in pain.” He says faking.

“You were in pain. Now you’re not. I’m glad we could help, just like other four hospitals have in the last two months.” She says reading on the chart. 

Jade’s anger is replaced with a small smirk. 

“You can’t do that!” He says.

“She just did.” Jade says.

“Montgomery, call Lizzie Parker so we can discharge him.” Hope says while walking outside the room. 

“Okay.” She’s about to leave when Hope calls her back. 

“Oh. Montgomery?” Jade turns back. “Are you single?” She asks with an inquisitive look.

Jade is deeply confused, but she answers anyway. “Um..yes?” 

“Huh. Okay.” She places the chart on the table and walks away without saying another word, while Jade keeps standing there wondering what was that about. 

//

Josie’s day ends later than she expected. It’s 11pm when she finally leaves the hospital and parks her car in her driveway. 

She felt so numb and tired that she didn’t even hear the music coming from her house, not until she opened the door and found her house full of strangers and only a few familiar faces. 

She walks in and wanders around the entrance and living room looking at the drunk people around her in shock, and just when she walks into the kitchen, she sees Lizzie and Jade standing on the table, dancing with alcohol in their hands, almost crawling against each other.

Some of the nurses are watching with their heads up, while the two girls keep dancing shamelessly. 

Josie quickly walks over there and pushes them to the side with her shoulders, then she stretches out a hand to grab Lizzie’s shirt and make her bend down.

“What the fuck is this?!”

“Oh! You’re here! What do you think it is?! It’s a party!” She shouts to overcome the sound of the music. 

“I can clearly see that!” Josie says furious. “Lizzie, we have to talk about mom!” 

The blonde suddenly gets down and stands in front of the brunette with a frowned face, trying hard not to falter. 

“What about her?”

“She-she can’t do the trial. There’s nothing we can do.”

Lizzie just stares at her for a moment, slowly taking in the information because of the alcohol clouding her thoughts.

“So that’s it? We’re just..giving up?” She forces herself to say the words, feeling the bitterness down her throat, tears in her  
eyes. 

Josie suddenly feels like crying too, but she tries not to. “I don’t want to give up, but she says it’s for the best.” 

“The best?!” Lizzie nearly shouts. “How can ever-“ She laughs nervously. “-losing my mother be for the best?” 

“Come here.” Josie tries to hold her to calm her down, but Lizzie pulls her away. 

“No. Huh-huh. I’m not doing this right now. I’m going to drink. And I hope I won’t remember this in the morning.” She turns around and goes back to Jade, who offers her hand to the blonde to help her up to the table.

Josie sighs in defeat and then looks around her for a bottle. If the night was going to be like this, at least her mind wouldn’t be there to feel all the pain she was feeling right now. 

Suddenly her life seemed to be falling apart all in one day. And she hated all of it.

She takes a long sip of tequila and then walks towards the living room.

“Josie! You’re here. Thank God you haven’t killed Lizzie yet. I mean, not that I would mind really.” Landon says.

Alcohol was already kicking in though, and Josie barely hears what he’s telling her. She keeps moving forward and goes back outside. 

Half an hour later, she’s outside her house laying right on her car with her head upside down, basically reaching the roof with her feet. The bottle in her hand is almost empty, so she closes her eyes and starts singing out loud the songs coming from her house. 

_And I don't care for what I've got_

_'Cause you're the only one I want_

“But I can't reach what's in my sight. 

Take a step into my life.”

She takes another sip of tequila and finally opens her eyes again, finding someone standing there right above her. With her blood and alcohol all up in her brain she doesn’t even know who that is. Thinking that it could be a stalker or a killer, she tries to jump off the car in a clumsy way and ends up with her back on the road. 

“Oh fuck.” She says groaning in pain and bringing her hand under her back. 

Suddenly when she opens her eyes her sight seems clearer. And she sees Hope watching her from above with both a frown and an amused smile. She kneels down and holds the brunette’s head.

“Are you okay?” 

“You can’t sneak up on people like that.” Josie says still not moving.

“Can you stand?” 

“I think I’m paralyzed.” Josie says giving up on trying to move.

Hope chuckles. “Here.” Hope takes her hands and helps the girl up, slowly. 

As Josie is finally standing, they stop to stare at each other for a what felt like hours. 

“You didn’t invite me.”

“I didn’t know there was a party until I got here.” 

“I heard about the heart. I’m sorry.”

“Whatever. Maybe today was my last. Tomorrow I’ll be fired.”

“I seriously doubt that.” Hope says smiling. 

“Why? Because I’m a Parker? Do you people think we’re untouchable or something? Trust me we’re not! We’re just- just as miserable as anyone. We’re not superheroes. Superheroes are unbeatable right? And- and unkillable. We are not.” 

Josie realizes she has been rumbling when she sees Hope looking as if she was a hurt puppy, but in truth, the girl’s heart ached at the sight of the brunette seeming in pain.

“What? Don’t give me that look. Don’t- pity me. No, better. Don’t look at me at all, okay?” 

“You want me to leave?” Hope asks with a small voice. 

She sure knows how to make Josie feel bad even when she’s drunk. 

“Yes- no.” 

“Yes or no?” 

“I don’t know!” She shouts. Then she suddenly starts crying. “God. Why am I crying? I’m not supposed to cry.” 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Hope caresses her arm to comfort her, but this only makes Josie more upset.

“Don’t.” She pulls away under Hope’s hurt gaze. “Please.” 

“I can’t leave you out here like this. Do you want to sit in my car for a bit?” 

“No. I-can’t sit with you. Why are you even here?” 

“I wanted to see how you were doing after today. You didn’t look good.” 

Josie just keeps standing there with a pout on her face. Her eyes are full of tears and she can barely see Hope, but she hates how she makes her feel. She hates that the only thing that would make her feel better now it’s Hope. Kissing her. Feel her. 

She fights herself against this need. She tries to remember why whatever she’s thinking of doing is wrong on every level, but she can’t get herself to listen to her good sense. Her good sense is switched off. She needs comfort. She needs Hope.

“Josie?”

In the same moment Josie closes the distance between them and joins their lips together into a soft and gentle kiss. Hope doesn’t hesitate to kiss her back. And Josie only feels the need to kiss her more, not allowing herself to break the contact.

Hope’s lips are soft, sweet and loving. Josie almost wants to cry again, feeling too much again. Too much affection, that now only makes her feel more vulnerable. 

In the end she is the one breaking the kiss, unaware of the fact that she was crying again and now Hope’s cheeks were wet with her tears too. But she didn’t seem to mind it. She kept staring at Josie with that caring look she always has when she looks at the brunette. And Hope is wiping away her tears before she can realize she was going to do it. 

“I- I should go.” Josie says nervously. 

The disappointment in Hope’s face is obvious. And in that moment Josie feels all the pain coming back weighing on her chest. 

“Yeah.” 

Josie forces herself to leave and get inside; and she starts hating herself again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m telling you, the build up i have ready for jazzie... 👀 you better be on board because i’m all in for that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys :) i feel like i should probably clear some things up. the story is based on grey’s anatomy and for whoever has seen the show you’ll know how it works. The show focuses on more characters and I liked the idea of keeping the fic that way. So i try very hard to give space and explore all the characters in the story. Some chapters might be more hosie centered or i’ll be balancing hosie and other characters but there will still be hosie. So I’m sorry if that might disappoint you. And yes, there will be jazzie in this story, so sorry again I guess (?) 😂 
> 
> I hope that whoever likes the story keeps reading it but if you decide not to then I’ll understand.
> 
> That being said, enjoy the chapter :)

Josie wakes up to a pounding headache. She groans in pain and tries to reach the alarm and shut it off. She feels the sudden need to throw up and she has only a few seconds before she can run to the bathroom and do so. 

After two minutes she abandons herself on the floor and looks at her side to see Lizzie sleeping in the tub. 

She drags herself to the tub and rests her head on the edges, while she taps Lizzie on the chest. 

“Lizzie, wake up.” She mumbles. “Lizzie!”

The blonde opens her eyes wide and then closes them again, whining like a newborn baby.

“Please, tell me it’s our day off.”

“Throw up. Take a shower. Take an aspirin and then coffee.” Josie says slowly standing up and touching her back, feeling the pain from the fall of the night before. 

“I’ll go wake up Jade. Don’t take too long.”

Josie wanders around the house for a while before she’s able to find Jade, who apparently hadn’t made to her bed. She finds the blonde sleeping on the couch, in a very uncomfortable position, by the way. 

Josie sits by the coffee table and shakes the girl gently. 

“Jade? Wake up.”

“Hmmm.”

“We’re on trauma today. I won’t be late because of you. I need to stay clean.” 

“Then go.” She mumbles covering her face under the pillow. 

Josie takes away the pillow from her face and stands up, tickling the girl in the stomach. 

“Josie!” She says almost laughing, almost angry. 

“Get. up. I’m serious.”

“I’m so turned on right now.” She smirks.

Josie rolls her eyes and walks to the kitchen to make some coffee. After an hour, they were finally good to go.

//

“The Dead baby bike race, they call it.  
It’s an underground bike race held by this bar. Completely illegal, and-“ Landon is interrupted.

“Crazy, a bunch of bike messengers racing against traffic trying to beat each other for free shots of tequila.” Josie says.

“Maybe I should join it.” Alyssa says. 

“Haven’t you had enough?” Josie says chuckling.

“I think we all have.” Lizzie says abandoning herself on the chair. 

“I’m good.” Landon says lively. 

“You’re a teetotal bird, of course you’re good.” Lizzie says causing Jade to giggle. That makes Lizzie smile too. 

She wonders if Jade remembers what happened the night before. Lizzie only started to remember two hours after she woke up. But they did kiss. 

And she liked it. 

But she wasn’t going to make herself ridiculous and tell Jade about it if she didn’t remember. Or if she didn’t care that happened. She knows how Jade is.  
She’s not one that cares. And Lizzie already had her dose of Jades to last her a lifetime. She doesn’t want to fall back into that. 

Suddenly Bennett comes in to prepare them for the day.

“Okay people, the rules of trauma. Don't mingle with the ER interns, they don't know their ass from their oesophagus. Sew fast, discharge fast, take bodies up to the OR yesterday. Don't let me catch you fighting over patients. Got it? Come on, let's go.”

Alyssa, Lizzie, Jade and Josie walk into trauma and see a bunch of men from the race coming in with bruises and bleedings. 

“Holy Bloody Mary.” Lizzie says while her jaw drops.

“It’s just like the show, The Walking Dead.” Jade says.

“And we’re fucking living it.” Alyssa says with a wide smile. “That one is mine!” She quickly runs away scaring the three girls next to her. 

They keep looking around, and both Josie and Jade notice a man with nails in his side. 

“I’ll take that guy.” Josie says putting in the gloves.

“No. I saw him first!” Jade says.

Josie scoffs a laugh. Then she turns serious again. “No. He’s mine.” 

“Why don’t you try say that to me?” She says stepping closer to the brunette. 

Josie instantly runs away to get to the patient first and Jade quickly follows her. 

Lizzie is hit with a hint of _-jealousy?_

_No._

She can’t feel jealous.

She decides to shake these thoughts and walks over to another patient.

//

“Okay. Rock-paper-scissor and we decide who gets to take him.” Jade says.

“Fine.” Josie says with determination.

First time, both of them pull out rock.

The second time, both of them pull out paper. 

The third time, Josie pulls out rock, while Jade pulls out scissors. 

“Ha! I crashed you.” Josie says happily.

“I’m not backing down.” 

“You have to! You pulled out scissors!” 

“Oh you’d like to try that, wouldn’t you?” 

Josie hits Jade on her chest. “Why is that you always have to make everything dirty?! Go find yourself another case.” 

“His wounds are superficial. Seriously Josie, go.” 

“How do you know those things didn’t rupture his peritoneum?” 

“Because he’s sitting right here!”

“Yeah, I am. And you two are kind of crazy.” The guy on the bed says staring at them with a frown.

“Sorry Sir. We’ll do some tests now-“

Suddenly she sees Jade pulling out the nails from his side one by one, while he keeps muttering “Ouch” every time.

“What are you doing?!” Josie shouts.

“See? Superficial. Sew him up and let him go. I’ll go find a cool case.” She smiles and walks away. 

“I hate you!” Josie screams. 

//

“Unidentified John Doe, mid-thirties pedestrian, hit by a motorist swerving to avoid a bike, GCS 3, pupils fixed and dilated, atropine given for a pulse in the forties, BP 183 over 112...” Alyssa says.

“And a gram of Phenytoin.” Lizzie finishes.

“The race claims his first victim.” Dr. Williams says.

“Looks like it.” Hope says. 

“Uh, Dr. Mikaelson, isn’t he going to the OR?” Lizzie asks her.

“No. Do an EEG. Wait a few hours and if he doesn’t respond, declare him.”

“Declare him what?”

“Brain dead.” 

//

“Alright, Mr. Mackie-“ Landon raises his gaze from the chart and catches the patient trying to light a cigarette. “What are you doing?!” She runs to take the cigarette away from his hands. 

“Lighting a cigarette!” 

“Well I can see that! But you’re in a hospital. And- smoking is bad!”

“So are women, but I can’t stop chasing them, can I?!”

“Tell me about it.” He mutters whispering, but the man hears him anyway. “Listen, you can’t keep smoking. You’re on top of the donor list for a new liver. There’s hope.” 

“As if hope has been helping me these past eight months. But seriously, who’s your cigarette? Huh?”

He frowns. “My cigarette?” 

“The one you’re crushing on!”

“Oh. I- I’m not...I mean I don’t crush on her..that much.”

“Lies on top of lies. Who is she?”

“She..well we kinda live together. She’s my roommate.”

“And you still haven’t tried anything?!”

“Well..she’s into someone else. I think.” 

“They always are at first.” 

“Okay, I really don’t wanna talk about that. We should run some tests now.” 

“Whatever.”

//

Alyssa and Lizzie in the meantime have been spending the past hour checking up on their almost comatose patient.

“There’s no corneal reflexes.” Alyssa says.

“It's been fifty-five minutes. If he doesn't respond to these tests in the next five hours, what? We're supposed to just stand here, and watch him die?” Lizzie abandons herself into the chair, arms crossed on her chest.

“If he doesn’t respond it’s because he’s already dead.” 

“Technically.”

“No, Lizzie- _literally.”_

“But he’s breathing. He has a heartbeat.”

“Look at his EEG. There’s no brain function. He can’t move, walk or think. He’s as good as gone.” 

“There are things like medical miracles, you know.”

“You’re the one who needs a miracle.” 

A moment of silence passes.

“How long until he dies? I want something to do.” Lizzie says. 

“I- was going to say that!” Alyssa says smiling widely. 

Lizzie smiles back. “We’re horrible.” 

“How do I even do this job? I’m heartless.” 

“Maybe to feel good about yourself?” Lizzie asks.

Alyssa thinks about it. “Yeah, probably.” 

“I know I don’t show it, but I actually care about saving people. And considering the last events, I don’t think I can take deaths right now.” 

Alyssa frowns. “What do you mean?” 

Lizzie realizes she shouldn’t have hinted at her mom like that. She can’t talk about that. Not yet, at least. Because even if she had to think like a doctor, she wanted to believe her mother still had a chance. 

She wanted to believe in a miracle.

“Nothing.” 

//

“You’ve got a nice touch.” 

“You don’t stand a chance my friend, just like my other non-friend over there.” Josie says to her patient while Jade smirks in the back of the room.

“I really think I should run some tests to you. You might have internal bleeding.” 

“No thank you, I’ve got a race to get back to.” 

“Please. Just one test. You’ll be out of here in an hour.”

“Only if you let me kiss you.” 

Josie frowns in disgust. “What? No! I’m your doctor!” 

“Then I’m going.”

“Fine. But know that you are leaving against medical advice.” She says pointing a finger at him.

“Such a shame I didn’t get to kiss those lips. Bye bye baby.” He says walking out of the room.

Josie sighs and starts cleaning up the bed and the tray. Meanwhile Jade walks silently towards her.

“You should’ve kissed him. If he really is that bad, he will die because you didn’t kiss him. See how hurt can do your being selfish?”

Josie forces a fake smile. “Nice try Jade. Weren’t you the one saying that he was just fine? Now you have doubts?” 

Jade stands now next to her, shoulder by shoulder, following every movement of the brunette. 

“Not at all.”

“Good.”

Suddenly Jade grabs her face into her hands and presses her lips against Josie’s, capturing her into a deep and urgent kiss. 

After a moment, Jade pulls away and stares at the brunette, who is still frozen in place.

“At least you won’t regret not kissing me if I die.” She says in a hoarse voice.

“Maybe I’ll kill you myself.” She says after coming into senses again. She pushes the blonde off of her and goes back to clean up, while Jade walks out the door with a satisfied smile on her face. 

Suddenly the other door in front of her opens. She raises her gaze to see Hope standing there with a face she can’t quite read.

“So- apparently that’s your thing. You kiss people and then you’re done with them.” 

Her tone is not aggressive, in fact it’s still calm and natural, as if she’s able to keep control of herself without even trying so hard.

Hope enters and closes the door behind her. 

“I didn’t kiss her, she kissed me.” Josie defends herself.

“I didn’t see you back away.” Hope says crossing her arms under her chest. 

Josie sighs. “Okay, I can’t deal with a third today. Please just go.”

“A third?” Hope widens her eyes. “How many people have you been kissing? Should I be worried for myself? Maybe I should have some blood tests.” 

Josie’s jaw drops in shock. “How- dare you?!”

“What is this that you’re doing? You want me only when you’re drunk? Then the rest of the time I’m your attending and you’re my student.” 

“You are. I am.” 

“Well, I don’t care. What if I die today? What if a bike runs me over and you find me brain dead? I’ll tell you. You would hate yourself for not giving me a chance before.” 

“It’s very unlikely that you’ll die today.” 

Hope steps closer, invading every last bit of personal space Josie had left. She meets blue eyes, staring at her almost in a plead. Her breath gets stuck in her throat.

“But what if I do?” Hope whispers softly. “Would you admit you would’ve wanted me?” 

“Hope...”

“What are you doing with Jade?”

“What? N-nothing.” She frowns. “Wait. Are you jealous?” 

Hope takes two steps backwards and puts on her unreadable face again. Or maybe it was her jealous face.

“Me? Jealous? Why would I be jealous of someone who clearly likes to play.”

“I like to play?! What about you? You keep trying to get me to go out with you! We are never happening.” 

“We already did happen.” Hope smiles weakly. “You just preferred to forget about that.” 

With that, she walks out of the room leaving Josie behind. 

She suddenly feels a rush of guilt eating her alive. 

Maybe Hope was right. Maybe it didn’t have to matter. Maybe she didn’t have to push her away. 

Maybe she should just give in. 

//

Alyssa and Lizzie storm into the OR while Bennett is performing surgery. 

“What?” She says still focusing on her patient.

“We have a John Doe, in three hours, we have to declare him brain dead. We want to harvest his organs.” Alyssa says.

“If he dies- and he could still live, you know - his death should mean something.” Lizzie says, not really believing her own words. 

“And you want a harvest surgery.” Bennett says. 

“We want to save lives, of course.” Lizzie says.

“Getting organs from a John Doe is a long shot. Without ID, you can't contact the family, without the family, you can't get consent to harvest the organs. Let the poor man die in peace.” 

“But if we can find the family-“

“-And get consent.” Bennett says. 

“We could harvest the organs?” Alyssa asks. 

“Yes.”

Both girls storm out of the OR in a rush.

//

Landon walks up to Jade in trauma and places the chart to its place. 

“Jade? Do you think I’m gay?” 

“Um- aren’t you?” She frowns.

“No! I like..I mean I-“

“You like Josie, we get it. Believe me we all go through that phase. It’ll pass.” 

“How do you know?”

“Because I kissed her and now I feel better.”

Landon frowns. “You- feel better?” 

“It’s gone.“

“So you’re saying I should just kiss her?” 

Jade laughs in amusement. “If she rejected me, you don’t stand a chance.” 

He sighs heavily and stares into the void with a sad face.

Jade taps on his shoulder. “Suck it up loser bird.” Then she leaves.

//

Josie enters Lizzie’s and Alyssa’s patient room.

“What happened here?!”

“He has a traumatic aortic injury. He has to get surgery if we want to keep him long enough to make him a donor.” Lizzie says. 

“So now you have to convince Bennett.” Josie says.

Alyssa and Lizzie share a frightened look. 

“Oh come on, she’ll say yes. Have you reached the family?”

“Yes. His wife is coming.”

Josie gets paged. 

“Sorry, I gotta go. Let me know how it goes!” 

Lizzie and Alyssa sigh and look at each other. “You talk this time.” Alyssa says.

“Fine.” 

//

Josie is writing down some papers in trauma when she notices a man sitting in the waiting room, holding his stomach badly.

“Jade? Isn’t that the guy from yesterday?” 

Jade looks over her. “Yeah. It’s Viper.”

Josie walks towards him. “Hey Viper? Are you okay?” She touches him and he instantly drops on the floor while he starts shaking.

“Help! I need a bed! Now!” Josie screams. 

She raises his shirt and sees a giant mass coming out if his stomach. An infection just where the stitches were. Much likely internal bleeding too.

As they put him on the bed, Josie sat right on top of him applying pressure on his stomach, while Jade and a nurse pushed the bed through the hallway and then the elevator to reach the OR.

When they arrive, Bennett is already there to start the surgery, Josie comes down and let them move him on the operating table. 

“Parker, scrub in, you’re assisting.” 

//

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad the operation went well and we get to save lives because his wife agreed to donate his organs, but I can’t stay here and watch him being tore apart.” Lizzie says.

“At lest he will do some good.” Alyssa says. 

“Yeah. I guess..but it’s still sad.” Lizzie lowers her head. “Look..I know you don’t like doing the people part but, can you tell the family? I can’t.” 

Alyssa doesn’t know why Lizzie seems so scared about this, but she thinks there must be more to it. Despite the fact that she usually doesn’t care or gets soft, she thinks she likes Lizzie. And she would do that for her if she couldn’t. It wasn’t a big deal...right? She was still cold hearted bitch Alyssa. 

“Okay. I’ll tell them.”

\\\

Josie is in the locker room finishing getting changed to finally end that stressful day. She places her dirty clothes in her bag and puts on her coat. Just then, Hope walks into the room and Josie feels her knees shaking.

“Hi.” The brunette says in a small voice.

“I was looking for Chang. But it doesn’t matter.” Hope turns around to walk away but Josie stops her. “Wait.” 

She walks towards the door and closes it, then she looks at Hope while playing nervously with her fingers. 

“Um- the patient from the bike race I treated this morning. He..he came back. And he wasn’t okay. He almost died. He’s okay now, but..” She gets lost in Hope’s gaze and just stares at her for a moment before going on. “The thing is...I don’t want to realize I would’ve wanted you after you die. Because I don’t need to. I already know that..I want you.” 

Hope smiles softly. 

“And you’re not just a one night stand. Or an elevator kiss. Or a drunk kiss. And I’m not playing with you.”

“I never really thought that. I was just..jealous, I guess.” She admits.

Josie smiles widely. “So, about that date...” She walks closer to play with the collar of Hope’s coat. “Breakfast tomorrow morning?” 

She smiles happily. “I wouldn’t miss it.”


	7. Chapter 7

Josie is the locker room dressing up in a hurry when Lizzie and Alyssa come in with coffees.

“What are you doing still here? I thought your shift started at five.” Lizzie says handing her a cup of coffee.

Josie takes a sip so to have a few seconds to think about a lie.

“Oh. I- got held up. I had a flat tire.”

Lizzie frowns. “A flat tire?”

 _“Yes._ A flat tire, Lizzie. It happens.”

“Who are you with today?” The blonde asks.

“Um- I don’t know. Mikaelson, I think.”

“Ohh. Interesting.” Lizzie smirks and gives her a small push. 

“Haven’t you got patients to go to?” 

Lizzie groans. “You’re so lame. I’ll see you later.” And she walks out, while Alyssa stays behind staring at Josie.

The brunette only notices after a few that the girl was staring at her. 

“What?” 

“Something happened between the two of you.”

“Nothing happened.”

“Come on. You can tell me, I won’t tell Lizzie.” 

“Fine. We had breakfast together. That’s why I was late.”

Alyssa opens her mouth in shock. “Ohh. That’s why you’re so tense. You so want to have sex with her again.”

“I’m not tense. I won’t have sex with her. No.”

“Oh so what? You’re just gonna go on cute breakfast dates from now on?” 

Josie stops to breathe and looks firmly at Alyssa. “I don’t know.” Then she walks away before Alyssa can say something more.

//

Hope enters the room of her first patient of the day, meeting Landon, Lizzie, Josie and Dr. Bennett. 

“Good morning everyone.” She says with a wide smile, especially focusing on Josie in the room. She had a lot to smile about that day. “Mr. Levangie, this is Dr. Bennett and her staff of surgical interns. We will take care of you today.” 

“They look frightened.” The man says. 

Hope scoffs a laugh and then looks at Landon. “Kirby, present the case.” 

“Edward Levangie is a 63-year-old man admitted for pain management for Dyskinesia. He's been stable since last night, and responding to the bolus injections.”

“Possible treatments?” Dr. Bennett asks. 

“For Parkinson? Um-“

“No, for spinal pain.” Bennett says.

“Intraspinal catheter. That way, he can have constant pain medication.” Josie says.

“Excellent. This is Dr. Parker, she’s gonna prep you for the procedure and assist.” Then Hope’s page beeps, she checks it and then looks at the patient before leaving. “Excuse me.” 

Hope walks to the elevator and steps in, soon followed by Dr. Bennett. Hope gives her a kind smile, which is not reciprocated, instead Bennett has a serious and judgmental look. 

“Are you okay Dr. Bennett? You seem a little unhappy today.”

“I saw you.” 

Hope tilts her head to the side and frowns. “You saw me?” 

“At Parker’s house. Kissing Parker.” 

Hope’s face drops. “Oh.”

“I get that you’re charming, talented and maybe you know about brains as good as you know about-“ She stops herself from saying the last word she meant to say. She presses her lips together in frustration. “-but I won’t let you favor her just because you get into each other’s pants.” 

Hope tries to hide the flush on her cheeks and clears her throat. “I wasn’t favoring her. She’s just good.” 

“Oh I’m sure she is.” She says emphasizing. 

The elevator opens and Bennett steps outside.

“You know that technically I’m your boss?” Hope says pointing at herself. 

“And you don’t scare me. So if I see you favoring Josette Parker Junior once again, I’ll make sure she doesn’t see the OR for months. Think about that.” She says and then she leaves.

Hope sighs and rubs her forehead in distress. 

Just when she thought she could have the brunette finally giving her a chance, this has to get in the way. 

Hope knows that if Josie knew about Bennett knowing, she would regret doing this. 

So maybe now she had to be the one holding back.

//

“Ok, Mr. Levangie. We're going to get you more comfortable, ok? I'm going to go downstairs and I'll be back up shortly.” Josie says exiting the room. 

“Excuse me, Doctor?” A young woman calls her. 

“Yes? Oh. You’re Mr. Levangie’s daughter, right?” 

“Yes. Look, I wanted to ask you if you can convince him to have brain surgery. Dr. Mikaelson mentioned it and I know it could help him with most of his symptoms. But he’s just too scared to do it.”

“Is he a candidate?”

“Yes he is. And if he keeps going on like this...” She sighs.

“I know, his chances are limited.” Josie says sadly.

The girl tries to hold back the tears. “Look, I’m getting married next month. And he’s all I’ve got. I don’t want to walk down the aisle without him. Is that selfish?” 

Josie suddenly feels pain in her chest thinking about her mom. “No, you’re not. It’s only fair to want him not to leave you. I know what’s it like.” 

The girl looks at her with sadness. Josie places a hand on her shoulder to comfort her and gives her a reassuring smile. “I’ll see what I can do.” 

//

“Okay Annie, there’s going to be a microphone in there for you in case you get scared or you want to get out, but, um you know, try not to do that, because then we're going to have to start all over again.” Lizzie says shutting off the microphone.

“I’ll be fine.” 

Lizzie, Jade and the CT tech wait for the scans to appear on the screens. 

“I’ve never seen anything like this.” 

Lizzie leans forward to take a better look at the scans. “Dear God. It’s huge.” 

“How could she have let something like that grow like this?”

“I think she’s afraid of doctors. I mean I don’t blame her, what if you get a doctor like Montgomery? I would sign my death sentence.” Lizzie says trying to poke Jade, but the girl was just amused. 

“Because they would be lucky to have a model instead, right?” 

Lizzie gives her a hard look. “I’m not modeling anymore. And I’m quite capable of helping people. And I’m not a bitch to patients.”

“When have you seen me being a bitch?”

“Oh I don’t know, aren’t you like that with every human being who gets the misfortune of knowing you?” She argues back.

Jade frowns and then hints a smile. “I’m not a bitch to you, am I?”

Lizzie is suddenly at a loss of words. She keeps staring at the blonde for a moment and bites her inner cheek in frustration, then she turns her attention back to the patient. She pushes the mic boutton.”

“You did great Annie, we’re good to go.” 

//

Bennett, Hope and Williams examine Annie’s x-rays to decide how to proceed. Josie walks into the room, waiting to talk to Hope. 

When Hope meets the brunette’s gaze, she’s met with a small and soft smile, which she doesn’t reciprocate. Instead, she just looks away, and Josie feels almost hurt at the doctor’s indifference.

“I'd prefer to start in front, and then flip her. You never know what kind of vessels are involved, how intertwined they are. I'm going to need a good head start.” Dr. Williams says. 

“I should really go with the spine fresh, if I miss a step, she's paralyzed.” Hope says. 

“But if I don't relieve the pressure on her lungs, she'll be dead. So, she won't mind if she can't walk.” 

“She probably doesn’t even want to live. Who lives with that thing growing inside for a year?” Bennett says. 

“People do things every day even if they know that could kill them. Doesn’t mean they have to die.” Hope says frowning in disagreement.

“What are her chances with the surgery?” Bennett asks.

“Better than if we do nothing.” Williams says. 

“All right. Then we’re doing it. End of discussion.” Hope says walking out of the room. Josie soon follows her.

“Um- Dr. Mikaelson, Mr. Levangie, the Parkinson patient, is he a good candidate for DBS?”

“Yes, but he’s not interested.” 

“I know but I think we should talk to him and maybe convince him.”

Josie wonders why Hope looks so urgent to walk away from her. 

“We're talking about a brain surgery that is performed while the patient is wide awake, a risk of paralysis, a risk of death. And, the patient doesn't want it. It is not my job to push him into anything and it's definitely not yours.” 

Josie stays speechless. She waits to see some hint of regret in Hope’s face, but she doesn’t. She notices Bennett staring at their interaction and quickly clears her throat. 

“Okay. Fine.” She says obeying the order.

“And since you disagree that much with my decision, it’s best if you don’t assist me.” 

“Wait w-what? But...”

“It’s a minor procedure. I won’t need help.” 

Josie’s face tightens, now visibly both hurt and mad. She nods in understanding and walks away, leaving Hope standing there while Bennett watches her. 

“You know, no one likes you.” Hope says while walking away.

“Oh I know that.” 

//

“I won’t lie to you Annie, the surgery is going to be long and difficult, but we have a capable surgical teams. You will have the best care.” Dr. Williams says.

“I can die?” She asks scared.

“There’s always a risk, but if you don’t do the surgery, it will be a certainty.” 

“Fine. Okay. I’ll have the surgery.”

Dr. Williams smiles. “That’s a wise decision.”

//

Landon walks into Annie’s room to prepare her for the surgery. 

“Okay Annie. We just need to recheck your labs and get an EKG, so I just need to take a little blood. Dr. Williams is great, and Dr. Bennett. I know you're probably scared.”

“It’s fine. I know what you’re thinking. Why does the fat lady let herself get this bad?”

Landon looks at her and asks respectfully. “Why did you?”

“You’re the first person to ask me that.”  
She smiles sadly. “Whenever I went to the hospital, someone died. My dad. My sister. They went in and came out dead. So I put it off.”

“Well, I know something about that. But maybe from now on you’ll know that putting off things is never the right thing to do. You’ll end up having regrets later. And I see that now.” He says thinking about Josie.

“Yeah. I see that too. What did you put off?”

“Oh.” He chuckles. “Um- asking a girl out.” 

“Seriously? Comparing your loveless life to my tumor?” She laughs.

“I-I’m so sorry...”

“Oh don’t be. I needed a laugh.” 

//

“She treated me like I was trash! First she gives me heart eyes at breakfast, then she can barely look at me?!” Josie shouts talking to Alyssa, while the girl eats from her bag of chips. The brunette walks back and forth in front of her, moving her hands in the air in frustration.

“I think her reason to leave you out of the surgery is lame.” Alyssa says while chewing.

“I deserved that surgery!” She points at herself. “She made me look like a child in front of Bennett! That’s it, I’m done with her. I knew I shouldn’t have given this a chance.”

“Right.”

“It’s over.”

“No more sugar mama?” 

“No more sugar m-“ Josie stops in her tracks and gives Alyssa a hard look, while the raven haired girl smiles amused.

Jade and Lizzie walk into the empty hallway and sit on the bed with Alyssa. Jade takes chips from her bag. 

“Are you scrubbing in with us?” 

“Yes I am and don’t touch my chips.” She hides the bags to her side.

“Why do you look like you have a fork sticked into your ass?” Lizzie asks glaring at her sister. 

“Don’t poke me Lizzie, or that fork is going right through your head.”

“Woah-oh.” Jade chuckles. “Easy Jo Rambo. No need to take your sexual frustration on us.”

“It’s John Rambo- and I’m not sexually frustrated. I’m furious.” 

Landon walks in and joins them. 

“Hey girls.”

“Great. Even more estrogen, as if we weren’t having enough.” Lizzie says rolling her eyes at the sight of Landon. Jade turns to her giggling. 

Landon ignores her and looks at Josie.

“Are you okay?”

“Mikaelson’s a bitch.”

“I think bitches rule. I look up to her.” Alyssa says. 

“Well, maybe she just has a bad day, you know. Maybe tonight we should, um, go to that bar down the road? All of us I mean- or if you want to...” 

“I need some air.” Josie says shaking her head and walks away, disappearing behind the doors.

The three girls on the bed laugh at him in amusement.

“What did I tell you? Let it go Landon.” Jade says. 

“At least I have to try! I’m not gonna grab her and kiss her out of nowhere. Maybe that works for you. I’m not that guy.” He says angrily and walks away. 

Lizzie frowns and titles her head to the side to look at Jade. 

“You, um, you kissed my sister?” 

Jade’s smile suddenly vanishes and meets the other blonde’s gaze, who was looking at her almost as if she had been betrayed. Jade hates Landon for a moment, then she hates herself more. 

“Y-yeah but it was just..nothing. It was nothing.” 

Lizzie’s face stays straight. She only nods in understanding and then gets up to go back to work, leaving only Jade and Alyssa. 

Alyssa gives Jade an inquisitive look. “What was that about?”

“What?”

“She looked like you stabbed her with that fork. In her heart.”

“I- I don’t know. I have to get back to work.” 

She quickly walks away leaving Alyssa only with silence of the hallway. 

She sighs and takes a few more chips in her mouth. “Lesbians.” 

//

“Mr. Levangie, how is your back?” Hope asks checking on him.

“Good. I’m good.”

“Can you lean forward for me, please?” 

Josie enters the room. “Did you page me?” 

Hope only gives her a quick glance before looking back at the patient.

“Mr. Levangie, have you given any more thought about the other surgical options we discussed this morning?”

He frowns. “No, why would I? I don’t want to. You know that.”

“Sir, there's a very small window of opportunity here. You know, once the Parkinson's progresses to a point of dementia, there's, you know, you're no longer a candidate for DBS.” Hope says.

“It's my damn life, and it's my damn brain. You want me to let them cut up my brain while I'm lying her awake, for what?” He shouts at his daughter.

“It is your life. But it's her life too. And you have a chance to get better here. And all we’re asking you to do is try.” Josie says.  
“So think about it.” 

//

Josie walks up to Hope standing in the hallway by the nurses desk. 

“Dr. Mikaelson, Mr. Levangie has agreed to do the surgery. But only if we do it today.” 

“All right then.” She hints a smile and walks ahead. 

They prepare the OR for the surgery and while Hope is performing on the open brain, Josie is holding the man’s hand, who’s sitting awake on the chair. 

“How are you doing Mr. Levangie?” Hope says keeping her eyes on the brain, looking closely from behind her galilean glasses. 

“All right.” 

“Neuro sponge.” Hope asks the nurse. 

“Shouldn’t you be watching my brain?” He asks Josie standing next to him.

“I think she can do it without me.” She smiles kindly.

“If anything goes wrong, I’m blaming you though.” He says. 

Josie giggles. “Relax. Now we just have to drill a hole and try to find the spot that controls the motor function.”

“Ok, Mr. Levangie. Just take a couple deep breaths. Focus on the pretty girl. Ok, this is going to sound really scary, but try and relax. You shouldn't feel a thing.” Hope says. 

The pretty girl catches Josie’s attention for a moment and makes her heart flutter in surprise. 

Now she‘s nice again?

“Try to mimic my motions Mr. Levangie. You can do it.” Hope says.

He tries but fails. He gets frustrated.

“It’s okay. Relax. Keep trying.” Josie says. 

After a few more attempts, he moves his fingers. Josie smiles instantly.

“You did it. He did it.” She looks at Hope whose eyes are smiling from behind the glasses.

“You’re a warrior, Mr. Levangie.” Hope says. 

When they’re done with the surgery, Hope and Josie take the patient back to his room, moving his bed towards the hallways to the elevator. The brunette keeps avoiding the girl, pretending she wasn’t there. But Hope is the one who breaks the silence.

“I was trying to protect you from Bennett. She..saw us kissing outside your house.”

“You trying to protect me involves not giving me what I deserve? You were trying to cut me off.” She says angrily. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” She says in a small and soft voice, looking almost desperate for the brunette’s forgiveness.

“And you can’t talk to me that way. You were a bitch. And I don’t like being treated like trash.” 

“I know.. I’m sorry. And- did you just call me a bitch?” Hope asks in surprise.

“Yes. Twice today.”

“You two remind me of me and my wife. We were married for sixty years.” Mr. Levangie says. 

Hope and Josie share an awkward look, then they look away and stop talking in front of the patient. 

//

Hope enters the OR where Dr. Williams is performing the surgery of the tumor patient.

“How is it going?”

“It’s more difficult than it looked like from the x-rays.” He says.

“Hang another bag, call the blood bank. We need more O-negative.” Bennett says to Lizzie. 

“All right. Forceps.” Hope asks.

Meanwhile Josie sits in the gallery next to Jade, who’s watching the surgery while eating chips. Josie takes some capturing Jade’s attention. 

“Hey!”

“I just got out of surgery. I’m hungry.” Josie defends herself. “Why aren’t you in there?”

“Look at that. It’s a full house. Plus, Lizzie wanted it more than me.”

“How generous of you.”

“Yeah.” Jade mutters. Then she glances at Josie. “Josie?”

“Hmhm?” She humms still focusing on the OR. 

“How do you feel about dogs?” 

She turns to look at her suspiciously while chewing chips. “I like dogs. I love them. Why?” 

“I think we should get a dog.” 

Josie chuckles. “I think that’s up to me and Lizzie.” 

“Come on. You’re not still mad at me because of the kiss, right?” 

“Oh, you mean when you grabbed me and sexually assaulted me? No Jade, why would I be mad about that?” She says sarcastically.

“Look, I didn’t mean to. Well- I did. But I just...I had to figure something out.”

Josie looks at her again. “What?”

“That I don’t really like you that much. I prefer you as a friend.” She lies. Or better, she tells her half the truth.

“Friends? We’re friends?” 

“Come on. I’ll stop being an insensitive bitch. I promise.”

“Well, start proving me that and maybe we can be friends.”

“Fine.”

Meanwhile in the OR the surgery was getting out of control.

“Get me some suction here. I can't see what I'm doing. Clamp, clamp, clamp, please.” Hope urges the nurse.

“We need more blood units. Tell them to hurry!” Bennett shouts at another nurse, who picks up the phone to call the blood unit.

“The artery walls are too weak.” Williams says.

“I cannot see a thing. Lizzie, give me your hand. Push right down here. Pull it towards you. Suction! Suction!” Hope shouts.

“The pressure is dropping.” The nurse warns them.

The heart machine starts beeping. The line is flat. 

“Some suction, please, in here, now. Come on. We're losing her now. Look at this. Come on.” Hope feels her nerve explode, but she keeps her focus. 

When the blood finally arrives into the OR, it was already too late. 

“Time of death, 10:30.” 

//

Josie walks towards the exit to finally go home after an exhausting day. She’s crossing the parking lot when Landon catches her outside.

“Hey, Jo!” 

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

“Um, I’m done in thirty minutes. Would you..I don’t know, want to go grab a drink later?” 

“Oh.” Josie pauses to think of a good excuse. “I really don’t feel like drinking tonight Landon, sorry.”

He tries to hide the disappointment and nods in understanding. “No uh it’s okay. I get it. Then I guess I’ll see you home?”

Josie smiles softly. “Yeah, if I don’t collapse first.” She chuckles.

She walks towards the parking lot while Landon goes back inside. Just as she arrives to her car, she sees Hope leaning with her back against it, a bottle in her hand and that soft -beautiful- smile on her face. Josie instantly feels lighter.

“What’s this?”

“I think I have something to make up for.” Hope smirks. 

Josie’s smile grows wider. “Oh yeah? So you’re not hurt I called you a bitch?”

“Well, did you mean it?” Hope asks walking towards her, while holding the bottle to her chest. 

“Of course I did.” 

“Then you have something to make up for too.” 

“Yeah- I don’t think it works that way.” 

Hope keeps smiling and walks even closer, finally facing the brunette a few inches from her nose. 

“It works that way with me.” She whispers while glancing at Josie’s lips, trying hard not to just lean in and close the distance between them. 

“Then I guess we have to find a way that works for both of us.” Josie whispers too, her noses brushing together. 

“I guess so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bitches rules- alyssa chang


	8. Chapter 8

If anyone told her that sleeping is overrated, Josie would tell them to try and be an surgical intern for a month. It feels like having two jobs at the same time. No free time. During her free time, she’s usually eating and talking about her job. So what’s her life about now? Revolved around patients and the OR? Apparently.

Mornings is the moment she hates her job the most, but once she’s in action, she forgets all about that. It’s her and her world. And she’s thrilled to be a part of it. 

She stretches her arm to shut off the alarm and she’s instantly captured in a hug from her back. She melts into it, feeling the warmth of the naked body pressed against her own, and sighs content. 

“Hope? You have to go.” Josie mumbles still half asleep.

Hope only brings herself closer to the girl, hiding her face in the crook of Josie’s neck, placing sweet and wet kisses. 

“I don’t want to go.” She whispers. “What time is it?” 

“I don’t know. I shut it off with my eyes closed.” Josie says and turns around to face the other girl.

Hope chuckles and keeps holding her, while she lets her leg slip between Josie’s to intertwine their bodies together. 

“We really have to go. It’s 5:30. I have pre-rounds and no one here can see you.”

“You said you didn’t know what time was.” Hope says disappointed with a pout on her face. 

Josie leans in to kiss it away, starting a heated make out session she probably shouldn’t have. Both of them start crawling against each other. Josie rolls on top of her and places her hand on Hope’s chest, running her fingers all the way down between her legs, caressing her inner thigh. 

Hope moans at the feeling, but then Josie mutters something against her lips and suddenly breaks the kiss. 

“You have to leave, now.” Josie says out of breath.

“You’re evil.” 

Josie gives her one last smirk and then both of them start getting dressed. 

//

Lizzie gets down the kitchen finding Landon and Jade already up and having breakfast. She yawns loudly while walking towards the counter and sits with her eyes still closed.

Jade places a cup of coffee in front of her while Landon stares at her.

“Did you get any sleep?”

“How could I?!” She shouts in frustration. “My sweet sister and her one night stand were loud until 3 am. I had two hours of sleep. Two!” 

“Your sister brought someone home?” Landon asks with a hint of disappointment.

“Yes. At least we know she got over Mikaelson already.” 

Jade raises her eyebrows while glancing at the door down the hallway. She smirks and then brings her cup to her lips.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

She hints at the door with her head and as Lizzie and Landon turn around to see who that is, they see Hope sneaking out while Josie gives her one last kiss before closing the door. 

“They..I mean they can’t do that. She’s our boss.” Landon whispers. 

Lizzie opens her mouth in shock. “I’m going to kill her.” 

“Shh. She’s coming. Act cool.” Jade whispers taking another sip of coffee.

Josie enters the kitchen with a wide smile on her face. “Good morning!” 

“Good morning Jo, you look radiant.” Jade says smiling -maybe too much-. 

“Thank you Jade.” She says sitting next to Lizzie, who‘s staring at her sister with a judgmental face. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” She bursts out.” 

“Lizzie!” Jade scolds her.

“What?” Josie asks biting a cookie.

“You’re sleeping with Mikaelson?! In our house?!”

Josie almost chokes with the cookie, she coughs a few times before she’s able to talk. Then a very loud screaming contest starts between the two.

“Who told you that?!”

“No one had to tell me! We saw that now. And I heard that, too! Multiple times. All night!” She shouts. 

“Weren’t you the one telling me -Josie, go have sex with her again!- Now i do that and you’re what- angry?!” She shouts back.

“You might be okay with screwing your boss and break rules, that doesn’t mean you have to drag us down with you!” 

“It’s not like you were there!”

“That would have been interesting though.” Jade says, catching the murderous gaze of both sisters. She clears her throat and places the cup on the counter. “I mean...no. Lizzie is right.”

“Pretend you didn’t see her leaving then. God Lizzie, try to date someone would you?” Josie gets up and walks upstairs, while Lizzie keeps yelling at her from the kitchen.

“Maybe I will! Who knows, maybe I’ll start dating a patient!” 

//

Alyssa walks into the locker room, find all the others already there getting changed. 

“I'm gonna need a major rush to make it through this day. I need a kick-ass surgery.”

“I think we all need that today, except for Josie.” Lizzie says poking her sister who gives her a death stare. 

“Okay, what did you do now?” Alyssa asks her.

“Nothing.”

“She’s guilty for having a sex life.” Jade says while tying up her shoes.

Alyssa smirks at the brunette and gives her a small push. “Oh you didn’t.” 

“She did.” Jade says. 

//

“Milton! I hope seeing you here means they’ve found you a heart.” Bennett says walking into the room, followed by Lizzie, Jade and Landon.

“Dr. Bennett believe me I would wish for nothing more. I would like to do that trip I’ve been planning for the last five years.”

“What do we know about Mr. Greasley, Parker?” 

“I like blondes, for sure.” He says smiling at Lizzie, who instantly smiles back.

“Shut up Milton.” Bennett says.

“Milton Greasley, 23, admitted today for a heart transplant necessitated by a cardiomyopathy. That means that his heart is unable to fill and plump blood normally.” Lizzie says while looking at him the whole time.

“Good. Milton, this is Dr. Parker, she’ll be tended to you prior to surgery.” 

“Then I’ll see you around, Dr. Parker.” He smiles at her again, causing Lizzie to blush and quickly walk out of the room. 

Meanwhile Jade had witnessed the interaction feeling slightly irritated. 

“I feel sorry for him, he wants to try to get some but he’s basically a corpse.”

“He was just being nice, Jade.” She says rolling her eyes and placing the chart back into the pile; then walks away.

//

Josie is examining a 17 years old girl, while her parents explain what they think could be wrong with her. 

“I think she got some bug on her trip to Mexico with her friends. I told her not to go to a Third-World country, but does she ever listen?” Her father says.

“She's been weak ever since and she's lost weight.” Her mom says.

“Barely.” Claire says looking at Josie.

“And this morning, she passed out in the shower.”

“When was the trip?”

“A couple weeks ago. I'm really fine. I just have a fever.”

Josie puts on her gloves. “Okay, well, will you lie back for an exam for me?” 

“No, please, I don't need an exam. Just give me some antibiotics and send me home.” 

“Well, maybe it is just a fever, but they called down for a surgeon, so I have to give the ok to let you go. So just let me do the exam.” Josie insists.

“Come on Claire, we don’t have all day!” Her father shouts, causing the girl to shake for a moment. 

Josie notices her discomfort, so she thinks it’s wise to send them outside. 

“Maybe you could give us some privacy? I’ll call you when I’m done examining her.” Josie says gently.

“Fine.” His father steps outside followed by her mother.

Josie pushes on Claire’s stomach to measure the pain. 

“Ouch. Don’t push so hard.” Claire says with a grimace of pain.

“Can I lift your shirt so I can see your stomach?” Josie asks the girl, who nods in agreement. As she lifts the shirt, she notices scars on the girl’s stomach. “Where did you get these? Claire...you've had surgery recently. These scars are still pink.”

“Don’t tell my parents, please.”

“Claire...you’re a minor. If you did an illegal surgery in Mexico, I’ll have to look into it. And I’ll have to tell them the truth.” 

Claire sighs heavily and abandons her head on the pillow. 

“Okay.” 

//

“Dr. Bennett? These are Claire Rice’s abdominal CT.” Josie shows them to her.

“Okay, what do you see?”

“Her stomach’s stapled. She’s had a gastric bypass.” 

“We have to talk to her parents.” 

They both meet the girl’s parents in the lobby. 

“Gastric bypass is a procedure normally done on obese patients to help them lose weight.” Bennett says. 

“Claire? She doesn't need to lose weight.” Her father says. 

“Are you kidding? This means the world to her. But it is so typical of this girl to take the easy way out. She's done it with everything since she was a little kid.” Her mother says. 

Josie doesn’t really like the woman.

“Mrs. Rice, nothing about this is gonna be easy. She's gonna face a lifelong struggle with malnutrition unless she has surgery to reverse the procedure.” 

“Do the surgery.” The mother says. Then she turns to her husband. “I told her to watch the freshman 15. Don't eat junk, exercise. But when she came home Christmas, who had to take her out and buy her a brand new pair of size 6 jeans because she couldn't get in the ones I got her last summer?”

“Tina, you know, she tries so hard. She does. She gets good grades. She gets A's-“

“She had illegal surgery in Mexico!”

Bennett ignores the fight between the two and goes further explaining what to do. 

“Unfortunately, there were complications with the bypass. She has what looks like an abscess under her diaphragm, and edema, which is a swelling of the bowel wall. I can't say for certain she'll recover completely.” 

“Just do whatever you have to do to make her well, ok?” 

//

Lizzie enters her patient’s room for the check up. She finds him asleep. She still looks closely at the monitors to check on the activity of his heart. 

“Hi.” Milton says breaking the silence. Lizzie jumps in surprise and smiles.

“Hi. I thought you were asleep.”

“No, can’t sleep.” 

Lizzie walks next to him and pulls out the stethoscope to listen to his heart. Meanwhile, he keeps staring at her.

“Can I ask you something personal?”

“And if I say no?” 

“Then I’ll hold my breath, which will stop my heart and kill me. So you’ll be charged with homocide and you’ll never see scrubs and the OR again. Only orange suits and lots of girls pining on you.”

“Well, I don’t mind the last part. But since this would cost me my life- shoot.” She says smirking, daring him.

“Are you with someone?” He asks.

“Not at the moment, no.” 

“That’s good. So now I can tell you I’m a really nice guy. Funny. Sometimes awkward but I think you can manage. Also- good looking, I dare to say. I’m also a real nerd, so I might bring up some comics to you and you would pretend you like to listen to me.” 

Lizzie chuckles amused. “Why do I need all these informations?” 

“Because once I have a new heart, I want to take you out.” He says smiling widely.

“That’s sweet. Really sweet. But I don’t fall for these tv-shows kind of proposal.” 

“I’m not playing you. Why me, an almost dead man, should try to play with such a nice and pretty girl?” 

Lizzie stares at him for a moment, biting her inside cheek, deep in thought.

“Fine.” She starts walking out of the room. “Let’s just hope we don’t have to wait too long.” 

//

Alyssa and Josie are in the empty hallway. Alyssa is laying on the bed, while Josie is sitting with her legs to her chest. They only had ten minutes break and some days needing to just sit down and rest felt more necessary than grab something to eat. 

“You were fine this morning. How can you have the flu now?”

“I don’t know.” Alyssa says bringing a hand to her forehead. “All I want is throw up.”

“It’s probably just the flu.” 

“Or you’re pregnant.” Jade says walking to the next bed. 

“Don’t even say that, ugh. I slept with a guy from plastics the night of your party. I don’t even remember his name.” 

“What if you are though?” Josie asks worried.

Alyssa stays silent. She doesn’t know what to think. She doesn’t want it to be real. What if it was real?

“Josie, you’re freaking her out. Just take a pregnancy test first, don’t think about the worst yet.” Jade reassures her.

“That wouldn’t be the worst thing.” 

“Of course it would!” Both Jade and Alyssa says in sync.

“Wow. Okay. I have to go back to my patient.” Josie says getting up. “And for the record, kids are great!” 

On her way out, she bumps into Lizzie. They look at each other with pride, then Josie walks away without saying anything. 

Lizzie rolls her eyes and walks towards the two girls sitting on the bed. 

“Apparently I have a date set with my patient after he’s not my patient anymore.” She says looking at Alyssa. 

“The heart patient?” Jade says with a hint of annoyance. 

“Yes.” She says nonchalantly. “What happened to you?” Lizzie frowns looking at Alyssa again.

“Oh you know-“ She gulps and puts a hand on her mouth. “I think I need to throw up again.” She runs away to the nearest bathroom, while Lizzie stands there confused.

She turns around to look at Jade sitting on the bed with her phone in her hands. She presses her lips together and straightens her posture, throwing a glance at the girl’s phone.

“Who are you texting with?” She asks trying to act careless. 

Jade looks away from her phone and meets Lizzie’s gaze. “Um- no one. Just my mother.” 

“Huh. To me it looked like a lot of bombs and fire emojis.”

Jade sighs and drops the phone on the bed next to her. 

“What do you want me to say, Lizzie? Yes, I was texting someone, fine.”

“I also noticed that you have lots of breaks during the day. Suddenly you disappear in the on call room and come out after twenty minutes, sometimes fifteen-“

“Have you been spying on me?!” Jade says frowning.

“I’ve not- been spying on you! We’ve been having cases and rounds together so I notice things!” 

“That happens to be the only thing you notice.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” 

But she ignores the question.

“What are you doing with this patient anyway?! He might not even have a chance.” 

“That’s none of your business.” Lizzie says standing up to walk away, but Jade stops her grabbing the blonde’s wrist to face her again. 

“It is my business.” She whispers with a hard tone. 

Lizzie only stares at her for a while. And it’s weird how both of them look like they want to kill each other, but still won’t look away.

How is it possible to hate someone and still feel this way?

Lizzie scans Jade’s entire face and then shakes away the thoughts crossing her mind. 

“Do you pretend to care now?” 

Jade’s gaze softens for the first time. “You know I care.” 

Lizzie lets out a bitter laugh. “You don’t do a great job at showing it.”

She frees herself from Jade’s grip and walks away.

// 

“We need to free the bowel from the adhesions caused from the abscess. This poor girl. What was she thinking?” Bennett says while taking out the bypass from Claire’s stomach. 

“She wants her mother approval. You heard the woman. This girl must feel so much pressure...” 

“Only a parent can do this damage to their kids.” 

“Needle-tip.” Josie asks the nurse. She hands it to Bennett.

“When you're done here, you have postops waiting.” Bennett says. 

“I know Dr. Bennett.”

“And you also need to pick up the slack to the clinic.”

“Yes, okay!” She bursts out. Bennett glares at her with a death look and Josie instantly feels frightened. “Sorry. That was out of line.”

“I’ll tell you what’s out of line.” 

“Look, you can give me all the rounds you want, but what I do when I leave this hospital it’s not your business, okay?” 

Suddenly Claire’s bowel bursts, spraying Josie with a toxic waste all over her.

“Okay, Dr. Parker, now that you’ve drained the organ, we can attempt to repair it.”

“Great.” 

//

“We were able to reverse the gastric bypass, but we did lose a significant portion of her bowel. And because of the short gut syndrome, Claire will never eat normally again.” Bennett says. 

“Ok, wait, do...? How do we help her here?” Claire’s father says.

“Well, getting proper nutrition will be a lifelong problem for Claire.” Josie adds.

“Great, as if we already don't have our hands full with her.” 

“She gets good grades. She stays out of trouble. She's smart. I just think she feels like nothing she does is good enough for you.” Josie says starting to get angry at the mother. 

“If you somehow think that I'm responsible for this...” 

“I think Claire is killing herself to please you. You’re her mother, she worships you. And you give no credits to her for how hard she tries.”

“Oh, please. You have no idea what's going on in that girl's mind.” 

Suddenly her husband intervenes. “Tina, shut up.” 

The woman looks at her husband in shock, but then he thanks Josie and Dr. Bennett for everything, taking his wife out of there. 

Josie wheels Claire through the hallway, who suddenly wakes up from her anesthesia. 

“Did you fix me?”

Josie gives her a soft smile. “Not completely.” 

“Will I get fat again?”

“Claire..we asked social services to call your parents.”

“What? Why?” 

“Life shouldn’t be this hard for you. You shouldn’t be making it so hard on yourself.” 

“Yeah, I know.” 

Josie gives her a tender smile and shakes her hand. “You’ll be okay.” 

The girl returns a small smile. She stays silent for a while, then she glances back at Josie. “Thank you, Dr. Parker.” 

And it felt oddly heartwarming.

//

Josie enters the locker room, where Lizzie is already changing.

“Ew, what’s that smell?” Lizzie says with a grimace of disgust.

“That would be me. Or better, my patient’s inside all over me.”

“That suddenly makes my day even better.” Lizzie smiles. Josie narrows her eyes and gives her a hateful look. 

“Oh my- Josie?! You smell like-“ Alyssa says walking in.

“Karma.” Lizzie says. 

“What does karma have to do with anything?”

“You’re trying to reach the top too early, sissy. Have all the best surgeries in the world, but know that this is going to blow up in your face sooner or later. Trust me.” 

“It’s not about the surgeries! You know I never wanted any favoritism, Lizzie. You’re my sister! You shouldn’t be giving me a hard time for this!”

“I am your sister and I don’t want you to lose your credibility for some hot sex! And if it’s not even for the surgeries then what’s that for, Josie?!” 

Josie stays silent while Lizzie tries to read her thoughts just like she always does. And Josie doesn’t even try to say something, because she knows Lizzie will know. 

“Oh my God, you’re falling for her.” 

But she denies it anyway.

“I’m- I’m not.” She whispers.

“”You are falling for her. I’ve never seen you like this since...” 

Josie meets her sister’s gaze, giving her a hard look. Lizzie softens and walks up to her, placing a hand on Josie’s arm.

“Are you sure of what you’re doing, Jo?”

“I don’t know Lizzie.” She smiles between tears. “I mean, I have Bennett on my neck, now you-“

“No. Forget about me. If you think there’s something more to it, that she’s not taking advantage of you...” 

“I don’t think so. I mean I hope not.” 

Lizzie titles her head. “Do you guys talk sometimes?” 

Josie bursts into laughter and wipes a tear from her cheek. Lizzie smiles too and then welcomes her sister into her arms, embracing her tightly. 

“I’m sorry I screamed at you.” Lizzie says.

“I’m- not sure what I have to be sorry for.” Josie says.

Lizzie chuckles, then she pulls away. “Let’s go home.” 

//

As they come home, they take a shower and slip into their pajamas, then sit together in the living room watching TV and eating junk food.

“Jo?” 

“Yes?” 

“Can I tell you something?” 

“Sure, anything.” Josie turns to face her and waits patiently for Lizzie to be ready to talk.

“At the party..Jade and I- we kissed.” 

Josie’s jaw drops in shock. “What? You and Jade?”

“No, nothing happened after that. She keeps seeing other people and having random sex with nurses and interns.” She chuckles sadly. “But, um, I can’t..stop thinking about her. And it’s..so wrong. And she’s..I mean she’s Jade. One moment she’s hitting on you and the next she’s off with someone new.” 

“I’m so sorry Lizzie.” 

“Yeah, whatever. I just hope this guy who’s crushing on me helps me keeping my mind somewhere else.” 

“Do you want me to kick her out?” 

Lizzie smiles and takes Josie’s hand, who’s smiling back at her. 

“No. It’s okay.” 

Suddenly the doorbell rings and both girls frown. 

“Who’s that?” Lizzie asks.

“I don’t know. Maybe Jade or Landon forgot their keys.” 

Josie gets up to open the door, seeing Hope standing there. The girl instantly smiles softly as she sees the brunette, who has her eyes wide in shock. 

“What are you doing here?!”

“I haven’t seen you all day. I-“ Hope debates whether to say it or not. But then she does. “I missed you.” She says whispering and surrounding Josie’s waist to close the distance between them. 

Josie rests her hands on Hope’s chest and smiles, staring at the doctor’s lips. “Oh yeah? I missed you too, just a little.”

“Did they give you a hard time?” 

“Just Lizzie, but we’re good now.” 

“So this means I can come over more often?” 

“This is not a group home you know.” She says causing Hope to laugh. 

“Fine then, I guess I’ll just go back to my place.” 

She pulls away and turns around to walk away but Josie is fast to grab the girl and turn her around. She wraps her arms around Hope’s neck and places a sweet and urgent kiss on her lips. 

“We have to be quiet this time.” 

“Oh. Now who’s the boss here?” She chuckles and lets the brunette drag her inside.


	9. Chapter 9

When you think you’re on top of the world with the life you have, usually something always happen. And that brings you down, back to square one. Back to when you know nothing, you’re insecure, you’re scared. 

That, and a call in the middle of the night, that tells you to rush to the hospital, because someone you love might not make it. 

As a surgeon, Josie should be used to this. But she’s not. Suddenly she’s not a surgeon, she doesn’t know anything. She’s a daughter and a sister. And she’s scared. 

The doctor approaches Lizzie and Josie, both of them sitting in the waiting area. They didn’t know until now how hard it is for the families of the patients to just sit and wait. As a doctor it’s difficult to walk up to them and say “We did everything we could, I’m sorry.”. But it’s even worse being in the dark. Where you know nothing. And you can only wait and hope. 

“You can see her now, she’s stable.” The doctor says.

“What happened?” Lizzie says in a small and tired voice. She felt like a wreck. 

“She started coughing blood. We had to rush her to the OR. She had a tear in her esophagus which was complicated to repair.” 

“Could we talk about other possibilities?” Josie asks. 

Lizzie glances at her in surprise. “Jo..”

“Yes Lizzie, I know what mom said, but if she won’t fight then I will. I can’t give up on her.” 

“Do you think I want to? You know as well as me that it’s her decision.” 

Josie sighs and tries to hold back the tears. The doctor places a hand on her arm to comfort her and gives her a kind smile. “Go talk to her.” 

As they walk into the room, their mom opens her eyes and tries to force a smile. She tries to talk, but her throat still hurts, so her voice comes out as a whisper. 

“How are you feeling?” Lizzie asks holding her hand. 

Jo closes her eyes and nods lightly, still smiling. Josie thinks it could mean “I’m fine.” or “I’m not fine, but it’s okay.” And she hates it. 

“Mom..we should think about other possibilities. Other treatments. The trial...”

Jo takes her hand and squeezes it, this time shaking her head as a no. And Josie hates that too. 

“Mom..” 

“Think..like a doctor.” Jo forces herself to say. 

“I’m not a doctor right now, I’m your daughter and you’re my mom. And you’re everything we have.” She starts crying loudly. 

Jo only holds her hand stronger. And Josie thinks that it could be the last time she can feel something as similar as a hug from her. 

They stay with their mom all night until it’s five in the morning and they’re supposed to go to work. As much as they didn’t want to go, Josie still had Bennett on her neck. And Lizzie had to do rounds early. They promise her mom they would be back for the night and then head to the hospital, not really knowing how they would go through that day.

But they had to. Once they walk into the hospital, they are not daughters anymore, they are doctors. 

//

Alyssa walks down the lab to get the results of her blood tests. After what Jade said to her, she realized that the girl might be right. Her period was late and what she had was definitely not the flu. 

As the doctor gave her the results, she knew it. And she felt her world crashing down.

There were so many things that explained why this was the worst that could happen to her. She never wanted motherhood in the first place. Not after the damages her foster parents had done to her. 

After her parents died in a fire when she was ten, she had spent most of her life moving from one foster home to another. She never was an easy kid or teenager, that’s for sure. But struggling for money and living with alcoholic and violent foster parents hadn’t been easy for her. 

Alyssa considered herself as a living paradox. She can’t do people, affection, love, family or whatsoever; but she wants to save lives and be the hero in someone else’s life. 

She never had a hero in her life. So she learned to be a hero for herself and for others. 

A baby would get in the way of that. A baby needs love and cares. She knows she would be great at the second part, but not the first. She didn’t know the first thing about love. 

Not wanting to put her thoughts on all of this, she folds the results and puts them in her pocket. She pulls her hair back with a hair tie and starts her morning rounds. 

//

“Jo, I think we should tell Bennett about this. If mom needs us now..”

“I don’t want to think about it Lizzie. Not now.” She sighs. “I’m sorry. I have surgery. I’ll see you later.” 

She leaves while Lizzie stays behind in the locker room, trying to pull herself together before her torture under Bennett’s watch starts. 

In that same instant Jade enters the room and stops in her tracks as she sees the blonde there. 

“Hey. Um, where were you? You and Josie were already gone when we woke up.” 

“Yeah we..” She can’t think of an excuse. She can’t think of anything besides her mom. And she also doesn’t want to explain herself to Jade. Why would she care to explain? “Nothing. I can’t talk about it.” She says while stuffing her clothes in her bag.

“Oh. Okay. Um- I made a cake this morning. It’s your favorite, it’s in your locker if you want it.” She says nervously. 

Lizzie notices the cake in a small plastic case and then looks back at the blonde with a frown of surprise. She softens at the gesture. 

“Thank you.” 

Jade gives her a weak smile. “You’re welcome.” Then she hesitates about if to walk away or not, but in the end she does. 

//

“I had a really good time the other night.” 

“Yeah, me too.” Landon chuckles nervously. “Are you okay and everything?”

“I’m good. Great, now that I got to see you. Why?” 

“Oh no reason. I’m- good. Um, just great. But um, a little itchy.” 

Lizzie enters the common room and glances at Landon and the girl he’s talking to, then she walks to make her some coffee to drink with her cake. 

“Landon.” Lizzie says. 

“Hey Lizzie! Um, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” He tells the girl. The girl smiles widely and places a kiss on his cheek, then she walks out.

Lizzie looks at Landon with a judgy face while she stuffs her mouth with cake. “Who is that trollop?” She says with her mouth full. 

“She, uh, she’s Anna. She’s a nurse from the second floor. Listen, Lizzie, I know that we don’t really get along-“

“You make me sick.”

“-right. But I need your help because I don’t have any guy friend-“

“That explains many things.”

“Would you let me talk?! Look, I have this thing, like a rush. But I can’t really, uh, see it.”

Lizzie frowns. “What do you mean you can’t see it?”

“It’s located in a, um, personal area...”

“You don’t know it’s called penis?” 

“I know what it is! I have one!”

“Then why don’t you call it by its name? You’re a doctor.”

“Look, I think I can describe it, it’s like..a red rush.”

“Oh, that’s very specific.” 

In the same moment Jade walks into the room and notices the two of them talking.

“What’s wrong?” 

“His birdie is on fire.” Lizzie says. Jade tries to hold back a laugh. 

“Come on let’s see it.” 

“What?! Here?” Landon asks.

“There’s a bathroom right there, you moron. Move.” Jade pushes him and both of them walk to the bathroom, meanwhile Lizzie watches the door from outside.

“Dude, I think you’ve got syphilis.” 

“Oh my god.” He says. 

Meanwhile, Lizzie opens the door and starts laughing. “I can’t believe that the one time you finally get laid, you get syphilis.” 

Landon sighs heavily. “My life is a nightmare.” 

//

Alyssa and Josie walk together in the hallway on their way to meet their patient, but as they go, both of them are very quiet and thoughtful. Both of them glance at each other once in a while, almost hoping for the other to just talk about something to take their mind off everything that was bothering them. 

“Are you okay?” Alyssa asks her, noticing Josie’s silence.

“Me? Uh, sure. I’m fine.” 

There’s moment of silence. 

“Are you okay?” Josie asks back.

“Me? Sure. I’m great. Everything’s..great.” 

Josie nods and gives her a forced smile. Finally, they arrive to their patient’s room and they start visiting him. The man has a very large stomach, and Alyssa taps on his stomach to examine.

“Mr. Franklin, how long has your abdomen been like this?”

“It's been getting bigger for a while.”

“I told him there was something wrong. No one gets fat like this so fast.” Mrs. Franklin says.

“He has dullness to percussion and spider angiomas.” Josie states.

“What's all that mean?”

“It means, we have to admit you and run some tests.”

“Great! What's that gonna cost us this time?!” His wife shouts.

Both Alyssa and Josie sneak out in the hallway, leaving them arguing in the room.

Josie’s mind was still focused on her mother. She was trying to do her job, but she kept checking the phone to see if her mother’s clinic tried to reach her. 

On one side, she had to be relieved. It meant her mom was still breathing, but on the other hand, she really wanted to be there with her.

//

Lizzie enters Milton’s room to check up on him. As he sees her, he gives her a wide smile. 

“There she is, my pretty doctor.”

Luckily that brings a smile on Lizzie’s face, who really needed that. 

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Here I am. Let’s see how you are today.” She walks closer and takes out the stethoscope to check his heart. “How is your breathing?”

“As usual. Heart rate stayed the same all night long. Check on the monitor, see how bad I’m doing now.”

Lizzie chuckles and pulls a strand of hair behind her ear. “Don’t get too excited around me or I’ll be forced to send a nurse next time to check on you.”

“I’ll try.” He smiles. 

Suddenly Lizzie’s smile vanishes as she keeps looking at the screens and Milton notices. 

“How are you?” 

Lizzie smiles while keeping her eyes on the screen and pressing some buttons on the machine. “I’m fine.” 

“That sounded like a lie.”

Lizzie looks at him with a sad smile. “I can’t tell you.”

“What do you mean you can’t? Think about it, maybe I’ll die and you won’t even have to worry about me telling a soul.”

“Don’t even say that.” Lizzie slaps his hand. Milton scoffs a laugh and then stays silent, just staring at her.

“My mom...she’s sick. She, um, she has cancer. And..there’s nothing else we can do.” She says trying to hold back the tears. 

“I’m so sorry Lizzie.”

“Yeah, well, the sooner I make peace with it, the better. Right?” She stands up quickly regaining her composure. 

“You don’t have to pretend with me, you know.” Lizzie turns back to look at him with sadness. “It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling.” 

“I feel like..I can’t even breathe.” She says trying to keep it together. 

“Yeah, I know a thing or two about that.”

Both of them laugh at the irony. 

“I’m sorry. You’re right. You’re the patient here.” She says.

“Don’t say that. Your pain is just as valid as mine. And you don’t have to feel like you can’t talk about it. I can listen to all you have to say. I have nothing better to do after all.” He says smiling softly. 

Lizzie smiles back and moves the chair next to his bed and she sits down. They talk about everything and anything for the next hour, and Lizzie feels lighter and more positive to go through the day. 

//

Alyssa walks into the room of her patient along with Josie to share the results of his tests.

“Mr. Franklin? You have a condition known as ascites.” Alyssa says.

“It means there's fluid in the peritoneal cavity. The abdomen. And the swelling is pressing against you lungs which is why you're having trouble breathing.” Josie adds.

“In your case, it looks like a symptom of liver disease.” 

“Oh.” The man says.

“Oh? You’re an alcoholic! You drink more than you can piss!” 

Alyssa and Josie exchange a deadpan look and then quickly walk away. Again.

//

Landon runs in the hallway finding Jade and Alyssa, he grabs them and push them in the nearest lab, closing the door.

“It’s official, I have syphilis.” 

“Wow. Your girl is a slut, huh?” Jade says.

He sighs. “I need penicillin.”

“Alright mama’s boy, pull down your pants.” Jade says.

“Is this what you say to your conquests before you fuck them?” Alyssa asks her curiously.

“No, I usually don’t have to ask.” She winks, making Alyssa smirk in amusement.

“Are you sure about what you’re doing?” Landon asks.

“Just shut up and pull it out, Kirby.” 

As he takes down his pants the door opens and Josie walks in. 

“Hey. I heard about the syphilis.”

“No! Get her out of here! How many people know about this?!” He hides behind the tent. 

“Oh come on Landon, we’re family. And we’re doctors. I literally guarded a penis a few weeks ago.” Josie says. 

“Maybe Josie should do it.” Jade says artfully. 

“Wha- No! Jade, do it! Let’s get this over with.” 

Suddenly Lizzie joins them too. 

“What are we doing?” 

“Oh come on!” Landon shouts slamming his hand on the bed. 

“Would you stay still?!” Jade shouts back.

“Is this how it feels to have a son?” Josie asks Alyssa. 

The raven haired girl jumps in panic for a moment, feeling like she had been busted. But it wasn’t like that. She tries to let it go and focus on Landon. 

“By the way, you should tell your girl she gave you syphilis.” Lizzie says while putting a chupa chups in her mouth. 

“Who is this girl?” Josie asks.

“It’s Anna, from second floor. I also heard another guy saying that he got it. Apparently your lady bird is not that faithful.” 

“Oh.” Jade says slowly stepping away from Landon with a thoughtful face.

The three girls stare at her for a moment. 

“What?” Landon asks.

“I..I think I might have it too.” 

“Oh wow.” Josie says raising her eyebrows.

Lizzie, on the other hand starts laughing almost hysterically.

“Of course. How could we not think about it? She’s the one infecting the entire hospital!” 

“That’s not true! I haven’t been sleeping with the entire hospital.” Jade bursts out in anger.

“What about bombs and fire emoji then?! Was that sexting?!”

“It was Anna, okay?! But I’ve only been with her recently, so she is the one who gave me -and him syphilis!”

Lizzie scoffs a laugh and then looks at Josie. “I can’t believe our home has become a whorehouse.” Then she walks away slamming the door behind her. 

Both Alyssa and Josie look at Jade in shock. 

“What is wrong with you two?!” Josie asks.

“Nothing. Just..let it go.” 

//

Josie walks out of the elevator and turns around the corner, barely even looking where she goes. She has her eyes fixed on her phone, texting her mom’s doctor to have an update on her status. She doesn’t even see who grabs her and drags her into an empty room. 

Just when she raises her gaze, she sees Hope. And suddenly everything that had been weighting on her the entire day feels lighter for a moment.

“Hi.” Josie smiles softly, meeting an even bigger smile right in front of her nose.

“Hi.” Hope places a sweet kiss on her lips and then caresses her face, taking a long look at the brunette. “You look tired. Have you been sleeping?”

“Yeah, um, not so well.”

“Maybe you sleep better with company.” She smirks, stealing another smile from the brunette.

“I wouldn’t sleep at all. Speaking of, you would tell me if I need to..get tested?” 

Hope raises her eyebrows in surprise. “Is that what you think of me, Dr. Parker?” 

“No. It’s just..I mean we never agreed on rules or..made it official. I mean-“ 

“You want to make it official?” Hope smiles widely in surprise. 

Josie chuckles nervously. “That’s not where I wanted to go with this talk. God.” She hides her face between her hands. “I’m just saying-“

“That you want me to be yours and only yours?” Hope says stepping closer and running her hands on Josie’s sides, slowly wandering under her shirt and reaching her skin. Josie shivers at the girl’s touch.

The auburn haired girl moves her lips under the brunette’s neck, moving away her hair to place a trail of soft kisses. 

“Hope...” 

“Hmmh?”

“Yes.” 

“Yes what?” She whispers, still kissing every inch of the girl’s neck.

“Be mine.” 

Hope stops to meet Josie’s eyes and runs a hand trough her hair, smiling at her softly. 

“I am yours. I just wanted to hear you say it.” 

Josie smiles and places a chaste kiss on the girl’s lips. 

“I’ll see you at the end of your shift?” Hope asks. 

“Yes.” 

As she walked out of the room, reality came crashing down.

//

“Lizzie, there’s something you should know...Milton didn’t get the heart.” Dr. Williams says.

Lizzie’s face drops sadly. “What? Why...”

“Because Milton is stable right now and there was someone else who needed it more.”

“Does he know this?” 

“Actually...I was hoping you would tell him. He will take it better if it’s coming from you.” 

“I..fine. Yes. I’ll tell him.”

//

Alyssa and Josie are performing a simple procedure on their patient. They follow the procedure step by step, but something suddenly goes wrong.

“How much fluid can one body hold?” Alyssa asks. 

“There's a lot of fluid in there. Mr. Franklin, but we’re almost finished. Mr. Franklin, are you sleeping?” Josie shakes him. “Mr. Franklin?” She checks his pulse. Then she looks at Alyssa in shock. “He has no pulse.” 

“What?!” 

“He has no pulse!”

Alyssa hits the code button will Josie starts CPR, then the code team runs in a moment later. But there was nothing else to do. 

“How could he die just like that with no warning?” Alyssa asks.

“There was blood in the tube when it first went in. What if it's our fault? What if we did something wrong?”

“We didn't do anything wrong. We did a textbook procedure.”

In that moment Bennett walks up to them.

“I checked you chart. You did everything by the book. You couldn't have known. There was no history of heart problems. His death wasn't your fault.” 

“When's the autopsy?” Josie asks.

“There isn't gonna be an autopsy. It's going down as cardiopulmonary arrest complicated by liver disease.”

Josie intervenes. “But an autopsy would...”

“The family decided they didn't want an autopsy. Let it go.”

//

Lizzie enters Milton’s room and gives him a weak smile. She rests her arms on the table at the edge of the bed and tries to think of a way to say it. But she can’t meet his gaze. She doesn’t want to see the disappointment in his face once she tells him. 

“You’ve been here for a minute and didn’t say a word.” He chuckles. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s something I need to tell you..”

“I didn’t get the heart?” 

He’s still smiling, but Lizzie knows that it’s a sad smile. 

“I’m so sorry Milton. I have to discharge you.”

“It’s okay. And please, call me MG. Milton sounds so old style.” 

“How can you be joking right now?” Lizzie asks genuinely wondering.

“Because if I start losing faith then I would be living miserably whatever long I have left. So I’ll just...take what I can get and make the best of it.”

Lizzie smiles softly. “You’re a great guy, MG.”

“I know that. So now you can go out with me, right?” He says with a smirk on his face.

“There. I knew you would turn a bad thing into a good thing.” She says, unable to stop smiling. She admires him. 

“You got very lucky, Dr. Parker.” 

//

Josie is down the lobby waiting for Hope to go back home. In the meantime, she calls her mother’s clinic, since the doctor hadn’t been answering to her texts or calls since the morning.

“Hello?”

“Hi, I’m Josette Parker’s daughter, um, I was calling to know how she feels? I haven’t heard from the doctor all day.” 

“Just a moment please.”

Josie holds in line while she walks back and forth, also keeping an eye on the elevator to see when Hope would arrive. 

“Miss? The doctor says your mom has been asking for you. Maybe you should get here.” 

“Oh. But..is she alright? Is something wrong?” She asks getting anxious.

“You should get here, Miss.” The woman says again.

Josie knew what that meant. It’s what they say to the family when a terminal patient has very few left to live. Her mom wasn’t going to make it. She was leaving them. She was leaving her. 

Josie slowly puts down her phone as her eyes start filling with tears. She feels like everything is breaking from the inside. Like her body just wants to give up. As she’s about to abandon herself on the floor, someone grabs her and holds her in their arms. 

As she raises her gaze, she sees Hope looking at her with a scared face. And she thinks she’s never seen Hope scared.

“Josie what’s wrong? Hey.” But Josie only keeps crying silently. Hope cups her face in her hands and caresses her cheeks with her thumbs, wiping off the tears as they fall. “Hey...talk to me. What happened?” 

“My mom..” She tries to breathe between tears. “I..I lied. To everyone. She’s sick. She..” 

“Josie, hey, breathe for me...please?” Hope pleads her, still holding her tight in her arms. “It’s okay.” 

“It’s not..she’s dying, Hope. I have to get there and..and I can’t. I can’t...” She sobs uncontrollably.

“Josie? Look at me, love.” Josie meets blue and caring eyes. “I’m here for you, okay? We’ll take your sister and we’ll go there together. I’m not leaving you.” 

And in that moment, she really needed someone that wouldn’t leave her.


	10. Chapter 10

Josie was always used to fear being abandoned. Her fear worsened when her father left them one day without looking back.

Josie started doubting herself since then. She thought that maybe she wasn’t worth it. That maybe she was that easy to leave. 

Her mom made a promise to her because of this. She told her she would never have to fear losing her. The irony wanted that her mom was taken away from her. And now she felt a void in her heart that no one could fill. 

It’s the middle of the night. After Hope drove Josie and Lizzie to the clinic, it took only an hour; and then everything was over. There was nothing else to do, if not wait for the funeral to take place. 

At that point, what was a secret wasn’t a secret anymore, because a legend had died. And now everyone knew. 

Josie was laying on her bed, holding the pillow tight under her head. It was wet with tears, but now she had stopped crying. Her gaze is fixed outside the window, captured by the street lights and the few stars she could see in the sky. 

Maybe she is one of them. 

Hope walks into the room silently, carrying a cup of tea and placing it on the nightstand. She sits on the bed and then lays down on her side and presses her body against Josie’s, spooning her tightly. 

The feeling of comfort makes her emotional again, and another tear rolls down her cheek. “Hope?” Her voice is broken, but soft.

“Yeah?” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth.”

“Don’t even think that. It’s okay.” She keeps caressing the brunette’s hair. 

“Have you ever had this feeling of emptiness...like you’ve lost something- someone, so important to you, that you fear you might never feel whole again?” Josie tries not to start sobbing again, while Hope sighs sadly and collects her thoughts to put it into words. 

“I lost my mom too.” 

Josie slowly turns around to face the girl. She looks at her studying her gaze. She radiates sadness. 

Hope had lost her mother too and she didn’t know. 

How well does she really know her? 

She almost blames herself for not knowing. For not asking more. But she can’t add that too to her pile of pain and guilt right now. She wants to hear what she has to say. She need someone who gets that kind of pain. 

“She got into an accident when I was fifteen.” Hope continues. “Doctors saw she had internal bleeding, so they rushed her to the OR without taking a CT first.” She lets out a laugh that sounds bitter. “I mean, what doctor doesn’t call for a CT?” She pauses. “She died after a few hours of what I imagine excruciating pain. And I won’t lie to you...it took me years to move past that. Because honestly, I felt like I couldn’t survive it myself. Some part of me was just gone with her. But then..I became a doctor. And I felt like some things started to fall into place. But it didn’t, not really.” She wipes off a tear off Josie’s cheek. “Just know...that some days will be harder than others, but eventually you will feel better. Remember the good times with her..and hold on to those. Because it’s the key to getting through it.”

Josie was crying silently again. Tears of sadness. Tears of gratitude for the girl laying next to her. She hides her face in the crook of Hope’s neck and cries herself to sleep. Hope didn’t mind it though. She held the girl tight and kept running fingers through her hair, as to make sure she kept feeling her presence. So that Josie knew she was there for her. She wasn’t alone. She was loved.

//

Lizzie is standing by the kitchen counter staring into the void, a cup of tea in her hands. She was trying so hard to hold it together, because she wanted to be strong for her sister. And for herself. She didn’t want to look crazy. She spent years trying to get better. But now she feels the urge to burst out. She just wants to destroy the world around her. This shitty and cruel world. 

At this point, what’s the point of staying strong? She feels so sad, mad, she wants to scream.

Her breathing starts to become heavy and her mind starts filling with dark thoughts. 

_Her mother is dead._

_Her father left her._

_Her mom didn’t fight enough for them._

_They didn’t fight enough for her._

_Everyone kept leaving her. Everyone lies._

Maybe she deserved this suffering. This pain. This endless feeling of being unworthy of anything and anyone. 

She starts crying desperately and slams the cup on the floor, breaking it into pieces.  
She opens the forniture and takes a plate, throwing it against the wall, which also breaks into pieces. She starts screaming and keeps destroying everything that falls into her hands. She screams so much, and she can almost feel the pain into her lungs. Acid running through her veins, burning her from the inside. Even breathing seems to hurt her now.

Suddenly Jade rushes into the kitchen and widens her eyes in shock as she looks at the mess around her. She closes the door, not wanting Josie to wake up to her sister having a breakdown, and tries to calm her.

“Lizzie!” 

She calls her name multiple times, but her voice is completely overcome by the noise of the glasses breaking on the floor. The whole kitchen is like a war field. But Jade tries to walk past it to reach Lizzie and stop her.

“Lizzie stop it! You’ll wake up Josie. Lizzie!” 

She tries to get one step closer to the blonde, but as she crashes another glass, the pieces splatter back and cut Jade’s arm. But she doesn’t stop and takes one last step forward and grabs Lizzie’s wrists, shaking the girl to face her.

“Lizzie! Look at me!” 

Lizzie suddenly stops screaming and meets the scared and worried green eyes of the girl in front of her. She lets out a breath she had been holding after she stopped screaming, then lowers her head looking at the messy floor under her feet; her breathing is still erratic. When she slowly raises her gaze again, she sees Jade’s arm bleeding and suddenly her heart crashes again. 

“I- I hurt you.” She whispers, panic starting to get to her again.

“It’s nothing. I’m okay. Let’s sit down...”

“I’m...such a mess. What did I do? Oh my God.” She starts sobbing again. 

She feels her legs cease, so she lets them. She lets herself slowly fall on the floor, but Jade follows her along and holds her tight in her arms. Lizzie’s arms are still abandoned on her sides at first, her body is still rigid, but then she lets herself melt in Jade’s embrace, stifling her sobs on her shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry..” 

“It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

//

Landon and Alyssa decided to head to the bar, thinking that too many people around the house, might be too much for Josie and Lizzie. 

“Do you think they will be okay?” Landon asks Alyssa. 

“Of course they will. Honestly, don’t tell them I said this, but they’re the coolest persons I know. They will get through this.”

Suddenly an unexpected voice steps in.

“I heard that.” 

Both Landon and Alyssa turn around surprised to see Josie there. And Hope too. Josie hints a weak smile, then she sits beside Alyssa. Meanwhile Hope and Landon sit to talk about the surgeries they were having in the morning. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“I need to drawn myself into alcohol.” Josie simply says while ordering three shots to the bartender.

“And your sugar mama lets you do that?”

“Of course. She does it with me.” 

Alyssa chuckles and then stares softly at the brunette for a moment. Josie takes the first shot and then looks back at her.

“What?”

“I’m sorry. And- you’re the coolest person I know.” 

Josie smiles softly. 

“What made you want to get up from bed?”

“Hope did.” She swallows another shot and meets Alyssa’s small smile. 

“Life still sucks though.” Josie says. 

“I can’t disagree.” 

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” 

The question makes Alyssa‘s heart jump out of her chest and almost choke on her drink.

“How-“

“I found your results. You dropped them in the locker room.”

“Fuck.” She rubs her temples in distress. 

“Hey, at least no one else knows. Be grateful I found it.” 

Alyssa stays silent. Josie keeps staring at her.

“What are you going to do?” 

“I’m..I’m not going to keep it.” 

“Are you sure?” Josie’s question was genuine, she doesn’t mean to judge, but she wants her friend to be sure about this. 

“Yeah.” 

“Will you tell him?” 

“No. I don’t even know this guy. And it’s my decision, so there’s no point.”

Josie sighs and then places her hand on top of Alyssa’s, who turns to look at Josie in surprise at the new kindly affection. 

“Then I’ll come with you.” 

Alyssa’s smile grows wide. Then Josie rests her head on the girl’s shoulder and sighs. 

“How is Lizzie?” 

“I think she had an episode..I heard her screaming and destroying the kitchen.”

“An episode?” 

Josie hesitates for a moment. But it’s Alyssa. She’s basically her closest friend, she can tell her. 

“Lizzie...she’s bipolar. But she has been in control of herself for a long time. She was doing so much better..then this happened.” Her voice breaks at the end. She takes another quick shot to clear her mind again. 

“And you left her by herself?” Alyssa says surprised.

“No, Jade’s with her. She calmed her down.”

“She did?”

“I’m impressed. She even managed to do it without practice.”

“The fact that Mikaelson and Landon are bonding makes my eyes burn.” Alyssa says looking over her shoulder. 

Josie chuckles. Then she glances at Hope, who’s talking and smiling softly. 

“Stop giving Mikaelson heart eyes. Let’s do another round.” 

//

Meanwhile, Lizzie was curled up in Jade’s arms on the couch, finally half asleep. It took her a while to calm down completely, but eventually she did. And Jade didn’t dare to move an inch so as not to wake the girl. 

“Jade?” 

Jade looks down to Lizzie’s face, still her eyes closed. 

“Hey. You’re awake.” 

“I can’t sleep like this.” 

“Why?” 

“Because your heart is pumping loudly into my hear. Feels like a front row rock concert.” 

Jade smiles lightly and keeps curling her fingers through Lizzie’s hair. 

“I have bipolar disorder. I..was diagnosed at fifteen. I’ve been living with myself like this for years. Sometimes...I would just stop taking my medications. That led to some manic episodes, which are..far more scary than this. Not for me, but for the people around me. But then I wanted to become a doctor and that helped to keep me in line with my medications. I wanted to have all the answers...even for my own sake. I didn’t want to feel..crazy.”

Jade felt her heart fill with sadness at Lizzie’s confession. She didn’t know about this. Until now she had never seen or realized if sometimes Lizzie’s behavior was due to her condition.

Was this why Lizzie was given simple cases and barely was in the OR? 

Jade has so many questions but she doesn’t want to pressure the girl now. She knows that this takes time. That Lizzie needs time to heal from this. And her mind has to adjust to this new brutal reality. 

“Why are you telling me this?” She whispers. 

Lizzie thinks about it. Really thinks about it. 

“I don’t know.” 

She wants to trust Jade maybe. But again, she could never be able to fully believe in her good intentions. But somehow, in this moment, she felt safe. 

“You should go to bed so I can clean all this up before Josie sees it.” 

“Yeah. Just...a few more minutes.” She whispers. 

“Okay.” 

//

When Josie comes back home, she takes a strong needed shower and crawls into bed, waiting for Hope to finish her shower and join her. 

Before her thoughts can travel somewhere ugly, someone knocks at the door and slowly walks in. Josie smiles softly.

“Look who came for that date night in my room.” Josie jokes causing Jade to smile.

“Can I come in?”

“Hope’s in the shower. Until then, you’re safe.”

Jade walks to the bed and lies down next to Josie. 

“She still hates me?”

“Well- she doesn’t really say it, but I think so.” 

“That’s fair.”

“What are you doing here?” Josie asks.

Jade sighs and keeps staring at the ceiling. 

“I hated seeing her losing control like that.” 

“I know, it’s scary. I’m sorry you had to witness that. I should’ve been there for her.” 

“No, Jo. You have your share of pain to deal with. And I know you are the one that takes care of people, but sometimes it’s good if you let others take care of you.” 

Josie scoffs a laugh. “When did you get all that?”

Jade frowns. “We live together, remember?” 

“Right. How could I forget.” She smiles weakly. “Have you told her yet?” 

“Told who and what?” Jade asks. 

“My sister. That you like her.” 

Jade closes her eyes and sighs heavily. 

“I can’t tell her. You know how I am.”

“I know very well how you are. But you don’t usually care so much as you seem to care for her.”

“I don’t care. I just-“ 

Josie smiles. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that.” 

A moment of silence goes by. 

“When I was hitting on you, I was doing it just for fun, you know? Because I’m like that. But then I kissed her at the party. And it felt so...”

“Maybe it was the alcohol?”

“No, it wasn’t the alcohol. Or else I wouldn’t be feeling like this around her when I’m sober.”

“Like what?” 

“Like I want to scream at her and kiss her at the same time.” 

Josie takes her hand and squeezes it to comfort the girl.

“Give her some time. And you try not to screw up again if you want to gain her trust.”

Jade sighs. “I don’t know what to think.” 

“Me neither. Care to explain?” Hope says walking into the room with only a towel covering her.

Josie smirks amused while Jade closes her eyes.

“Oh my God, tell me it’s not my boss here in a towel.” 

“I can tell you it’s very much her.” Josie says.

“I swear I didn’t even touch her. She was the one holding my hand.” Jade says. Josie slaps her arm.

“I was trying to comfort you!”

“I-“ Jade gets up still with her eyes closed. “-can’t take your confort right now. Because I can see my boss pointing scapels at me.”

“You have a very accurate imagination Montgomery.” Hope says smiling.

“Yeah, uh-“ She opens the door and walks out. “Goodnight Dr. Mikaelson.” Then she closes the door.

Josie laughs and looks at Hope who’s smiling amused. 

“You terrorized her.”

“I spend too much time around Bennett.” 

Hope puts on some shorts and a t-shirt and then slips under the covers and brings Josie into her arms, who instantly feels the smell of vanilla of her shampoo all over Hope. It almost feels like they’re becoming one person. Like Hope is willing to take everything that Josie is and make it part of herself. And it was nice. It felt comforting. 

Josie knew this wound would take some time to heal. But one thing she realized is that she didn’t have to do it alone. She had people around her, who cared about her. She had her friends. 

She had Hope.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update, i have my final exam next week so i’ve been quite busy. but i hope you enjoy the chapter :)

Josie used to believe in fairytales when she was little. She remembers her mom telling her a new story every night before going to sleep. Sometimes she would ask her to tell them again, because she wanted to see how many perspectives of those stories she could identify. 

The thing is, the more she grew up, the more her perspective became cynical and doubtful about things such as love. Probably it’s because of her father, the first prince charming to ever leave her when he was supposed to be hers for life. She doesn’t really believe in happy endings and forevers. Turns out, fairytales sucks, and reality is much more complicated that it seems. 

“Can I come to your place tonight?” 

Josie is standing by the window in the hallway while Hope is in the bathroom brushing her teeth. The auburn haired girl turns around to glance at the brunette, who is watching her with a smirk and crossed arms on her chest. 

“What?”

“I don’t mind you staying here, but this house looks like a B&B. Maybe we could stay at your place for once. I mean, that is if you have one.”

Hope turns off the tap and then wipes her mouth with a towel. “What do you mean if I have one? Where do you think I lived before meeting you?” She laughs amused and starts walking downstairs, while Josie follows her. 

“Oh I don’t know, maybe you had another mistress or something.” 

Hope frowns and points a finger at her. “For the record, I never had mistresses.”

“So I’m your first?” She jokes, gaining a mischievous smile from Hope in return.

They walk into the kitchen where Lizzie, Jade and Landon are having breakfast. Jade is baking cupcakes, while Lizzie is sitting by the counter with her usual cup of coffee, waiting for the cupcakes too. Landon is sitting by the table, having his milk and cereals as he does every morning.

“Good Morning everyone.” Hope says to everyone with a wide smile. 

She walks by the counter and helps herself with a cup of coffee, while Josie follows her every movement.

“Eight hours, 16 ounces of chocolate, 32 cupcakes. I could make a living out of it.” Jade says smiling proudly to herself.

“Maybe you should’ve focused your life on baking instead of saving people -and miserably failing.” Lizzie says.

Jade gives her a pointed look and throws the oven tray on the counter. Lizzie leans a hand and steals a cupcake, stuffing her mouth with a big bite.

“It’s really good though.” She says with her mouth full.

Jade leans forward to grab the cupcake from her hands and put it away.

“Now you’re not having any.”

Lizzie rolls her eyes and gets up taking a sip of coffee. “Bitch.” 

“You know, I like it here. It reminds me of my messy family. I could get used to this.” Hope says.

“Well I can’t.” Lizzie says.

Josie looks at her with wide eyes, knowing well why her sister would say that. She had been complaining about the too much sex they have been having lately. Josie wanted to justify it as her way of coping, but they both knew that was a lie. And Lizzie just told her to find another way of coping that included her being able to sleep at night.

“Lizzie, don’t talk to your boss that way.” Josie says with a threatening tone.

“Then you stop screwing my _and_ your boss.” She walks away and goes upstairs before Josie can say anything else.

Hope laughs amused. “See? It’s fun.” 

“You’re so weird.” Josie says unable to hide a smile.

//

Josie turns around the corner of the hallway walking at a brisk pace, meeting Alyssa going the same way.

“Hey! Did you get that appointment?” Josie asks her.

“Uh, yes, I did. It’s next Thursday. Will you..I mean-“

“Of course. I told you I would come.”  
They exchange a sweet smile before walking into their patient’s room. They’re met with another doctor from psychiatric.

“Here’s my gift to you ladies. Had a seizure two days ago and another one this morning.” 

Josie looks at the chart and frowns in confusion. “Here says that he talks to dead people, his family thinks he's dangerous. They had him committed. That's Psych, not Neuro.”

“Well, we can’t take him back until he’s cleared. He thinks his seizures are visions.” 

The patient on the bed catches their attention. “Hello! They’re not seizures! I’m psychic.” 

“Yeah, and I’m a chicken.” Alyssa says.

Josie walks closer to him. “Ok, Mr. Duff. We're gonna start our workup now.” 

“I'm telling you it's a waste of time.” 

“Can you grip my fingers, please?” Josie asks. 

Suddenly he stops moving. Josie and Alyssa look at him closely, trying to understand if he was about to have another seizure. But he wasn’t. It looked like he was in a trance.

“Mr. Duff are you okay?” Josie asks worried.

“Someone...someone’s gonna die on the fourth floor.”

“Oh my god, he’s nuts.” Alyssa says, sighing in annoyance.

Suddenly they hear the PA system turn on in the hallway. “Code blue, fourth floor. Code blue, fourth floor.” 

“See?! Told ya!” 

Josie and Alyssa exchange a bewildered look and then slowly walk out of the room. 

//

Josie follows Hope through the hallway just like she did that morning. It seemed like Josie found herself following Hope around like a puppy more times that she can count. Is that normal?

“It’s just that I hardly know anything about you.” 

“You know I’m from New Orleans, that I have a big family and that I love jazz.” Hope says hinting at the obvious.

“Okay. But do you have friends? What’s your favorite color? What’s...what’s your celebrity crush or..do you want children in the future-“ She rambles.

Hope suddenly stops walking and turns around t face the brunette with a frown. “Do I want children?!” 

Josie panics. 

Now she thinks she wants her children, fuck.

“No! I mean, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just saying we should-“ She gestures between them. “communicate more.”

”We do communicate.”

Josie sighs and lowers her voice, attentively looking around them. “We’re only having sex every night.” 

Hope scoffs a laugh and points a finger at her. “That’s not true. I mean, it is, but we also talk while we have sex.” 

“That’s not...”

Hope keeps walking.

Josie groans in frustration. “Why aren’t you listening?! Okay fine. I guess the only way we can see if this works is if we stop having sex.” 

“ Haha- very funny.” She looks at Josie’s pointed face and stops smiling. “Oh my God, you’re serious.” 

“I told you. I want facts, until then, my pants are staying on.” Josie starts walking backwards. 

“But we can make out, right?” Hope asks with a serious hint of scare in her voice.

“No making out, no sex. Have a good day Dr. Mikaelson.” She waves at the girl and then turns around to finally walk away.

Hope sighs in distress. Her mouth opens and closes a few times thinking about how to answer to that, wanting to scream at the brunette, but she decides against it. She slams her foot on the floor in frustration and walks fast to her next patient. 

//

“Ok, Mr. Walker. Does that hurt?” Hope asks while examining the man.

“I can't feel anything until you get to my thigh.” 

“Try wiggling your toes.” 

The man tries, but nothing happens.

“I’m sorry, they’re not moving.” 

”Damn. I could about ten minutes ago.”

“Well, your spine x-rays look clear. You fell rock climbing?” 

“Yes. What's wrong with me, anyway? Should I be scared now?” 

“Just try and relax. Nurse, I need a stat MRI. Send an intern with him. Make it Josie Parker.” 

//

“See here?” Alyssa shows the scans to her patient. “These are spikes in your temporal lobe. It means you have epilepsy. Not visions. Seizures.”

“You think I'm epileptic? That is not right.”

“I'm gonna order an MRI so I can take a closer look at your brain.” 

The man stops moving and talking again. His gaze is fixed on the wall. 

“Mr. Duff? Mr. Duff, can you see me? Can you hear me? Stay with me.” She says shaking him. 

“I wouldn't have picked you for the mommy chicken.” He says. 

Alyssa stares at him in shock.

“See? I told you I know things. This pregnancy thing, you can't run away from it.” 

Alyssa instantly leaves the room and walks to the elevator to look for Bennett, and she finds her.

“Dr. Bennett, I want off the psychic case. I’ll take anything. Can I switch?”

“No switches Chang.”

“I'll do your post-op notes for a month!” She suddenly bursts out. Bennett looks interested.

“Fine. I can accept that. Lizzie, you get Psych guy. Chang. This is your lucky day. You get to be with me on the breast cancer. And there's spotting. So you'll need to do a pelvic. She's pregnant.”

Bennett walks ahead while Alyssa stays stuck behind with poker face. 

//

“See, this. The guy's films are clear. There's no reason I can see for his creeping paralysis.” Josie says approaching Hope in the doctors computer office. 

“It's just so surprising. I expected an intrusion into the spinal space or bony spur in the nucleus pulposus.”

“Well, you were wrong. You don't always get what you expect, do you?”

Hope frowns. “Okay, what is your problem?”

“I want something- anything, to go on.“

“Am I not enough?” Hope asks sounding almost hurt.

“Of course you are!” Josie sighs. “But I- I don’t believe it can be all this good. We can’t base this relationship on sex. There’s also reality...and reality sucks sometimes- most of the times. And we need to know more about each other.” 

“We will know more about each other with time! Go with the flow Josie, live lighter. Be a feather. It’ll help your blood pressure.” She says and stands up to walk out of the room.

Josie frowns. “A feather?” 

“Be lighter love! Be lighter.” 

Josie stays frozen for a moment, while Hope was already too far away in the hallway, but she screams anyway. “Wait, are you calling me fat?!” 

//

“With this stage of invasive carcinoma, surgery, chemo, radiation and drug therapy are your only options.” Alyssa says.

“Can I wait until the end of my pregnancy?” 

“The pregnancy hormones will likely speed the growth of the cancer.”

“And the baby?“

“Oh, none of these courses of treatment will allow the baby to survive.”

“What are you saying?” The husband of the patient asks.

“She means it’s my life or the baby’s, right?” The woman says.

“Yes. We’ll have to evacuate the fetus.” Bennett says.

Alyssa feels even worse taking care of this case. While the psychic had only guessed she was pregnant, here she was in front of a woman who was scared of losing her child or dying and never be able to see him. 

She keeps asking herself if what she’s doing it’s the right thing. If it’s fair for this woman or any other woman out there. 

But she also keeps trying to picture a different future from the one she pictured before starting the internship. And she keeps seeing it unchanged. 

//

“The paralysis is moving very quickly and there was nothing in the MRI to explain it.” Hope says to Mr. Walker.

“Have you been under any stress lately?” Josie asks him.

“You know what's making me stressed? Is being in here and not being able to move.” 

“Dr. Parker? Can we talk outside?” 

Josie nods and follows Hope outside. 

“Emotional trauma can be converted into something physical, right?”

“Yes, it's possible.”

“Like hysterical numbness or paralysis. Maybe there is no physiological reason, and he's just having a conversion reaction.”

“You think it's psychosomatic?”

“Maybe?” 

Hope stays deep in thought for a moment. “Okay, let’s find out more about this.”

//

“Mr. Duff, look, let’s say I‘m willing to believe you. But you have to let me come closer and do my job without trying to touch my butt.” Lizzie says with the small torch in her hand.

“If you give me one of your cupcakes, yes.”

Lizzie widens her eyes. “How- do you know?” 

He smiles pleased with himself. 

“No. I know the drill, so keep it up. Next you'll be reading my cards, telling me my dead uncle is in the room.” 

“Is he?”

“I don’t have a dead uncle! Yet.” Lizzie narrows her eyes and stares at him. “I’m watching you, Daffy Duck.” 

//

Alyssa is checking up on her pregnant patient who also has cancer. She stays silent, wanting to avoid any insensitive comment or consideration she might have on the matter. Also, because what she’s thinking right now, wouldn’t be very professional of her.

But then the patient starts talking to her.

“You get it, right? My hesitation? This isn't an easy decision, I mean. I'm having a baby.” 

“You have advanced-stage carcinoma. You're 47 years old, so statistically you have a good probability of survival. Forego treatment, chances are you won't see your baby go to kindergarten, so whose like are you interested in saving?” She bursts out, leaving the woman astonished with her answer.

She knew she would say something out of line and insensitive. She instantly feels bad. She should understand the pain this woman is feeling, instead she’s too caught up in her own problem. Because to her, it was like that.

She needed to get out of there. “Excuse me.” And so she leaves.

//

Lizzie walks up to Bennett and shows her the results of her patient.

“I did an angio on my Psych case. The MRI came out clean, but I saw a ditzel. There's something here.”

“Yep, you're right. There's an AVM on his left temporal lobe.”

“I'll schedule the OR for tonight then.”

“Ohh, back up, girl. The attending has to see films. We need consent forms. Believe it or not, Parker, we have to follow protocol. Take a breath.” 

“But if the AVM looks like it's gonna blow, we fix it, right?”

“If the man needs to be fixed, we'll fix him in due time. Why are you moving so quickly? You get too involved with your patients, Lizzie. Why do you make everything so personal?”

“What?! I don’t. It's not personal.” She says nervously. Bennett keeps staring blatantly at her. “It's not.” Lizzie still points out. 

It’s not.

This has nothing to do with the fact that she lost her mother and she can’t face a failure right now. This has nothing to do with wanting to be the one who doesn’t give up on people, because she feels like she gave up on her mom too son.

This has absolutely nothing to do with that.

//

In the last check up, Hope’s patient, Mr. Walker, had completely lost everything body function and had become basically paralyzed. At that point, Hope decided to operate. 

“We've got to save this cord.” Hope says.

“You want me to start?” Josie asks ready to assist her.

“No, I'm gonna to cut here from the base of the neck to the rib cage. I want you to hit the bleeders.”

“I still don't think we should be doing this.”

“This guy has a spinal hematoma.”

“We don't know that.”

“Which left untreated are almost always fatal.”

“You're cutting blind.” Josie insists

“Well, maybe going blind is my forte.” Hope bursts out in anger.

Josie frowns.

This has nothing to do with the surgery, right?

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Just as she says it, Josie regrets it. The nurses are looking at them with a weird face, probably realizing that this was more of a personal bickering than a professional disagreement.

Hope ignores the question and goes back to focus on the man on the table. She’s not allowed to fuck this up.

“Retractor.”

//

“We've decided to keep the baby.”

Alyssa is astonished for the third time in a day. She can’t deal with this much longer. This is putting herself into too much stress and thoughts. 

“You have cancer. And having the procedure does not necessarily improve the treatment outcome.”

“You have quite the bedside manner. You know that, right? My mom died of breast cancer when she was in her 40's. I have that cancer gene. My chances are pretty much lose-lose, whichever way you look at it, except for the baby. We're keeping it.”

“Look, if you want to live..”

“That’s what I'm doing.”

And with that, she doesn’t go any further. Alyssa thinks that maybe she was too involved with this. Also this almost makes her look selfish and insensitive. But she was far from that. 

//

Josie walks out of the OR and follows Hope into the scrub room, looking at her nervously, feeling a little guilty for doubting her. She could never be wrong. 

“So...you were right. Is he gonna be ok?”

“I think so. I know we stopped the paralysis from advancing.” Hope says while washing her hands.

“But, you don't know if the paralysis he already has will be permanent.”

Hope sighs. “No. I don’t.”

“You know, you keep taking everything on faith. How do you know what's real and what's not?”

“I just do.” Hope stops to stare at her in wonder for a moment. The brunette could make her lose control, but at the end of the day she would still crackle at the sight of her. “I want to make this work, Josie. And I get what you’re asking me. It’s not that I don’t want to give it to you, it’s that I don’t mind finding out more about you day by day. I don’t need to rush it because I believe we have all the time in the world for that. But if you need this, then I’ll do it. I’ll tell you all about me starting now.”

“I don’t think we have the time-“

“My favorite color is yellow. My favorite song is the sound of your voice. And you are my biggest celebrity crush, Josie Parker.” She walks closer and surrounds Josie’s waist with her arms, while the brunette rolls her eyes and blushes softly. “My only crush, I dare to say.”

Josie blushes and rolls her eyes. “Now you’re just trying to win me over.” 

Hope smiles widely. “Is it working?” 

Josie only keeps smiling and keeps her gaze down on Hope’s chest, playing with the neck of her scrub shirt. Meanwhile, Hope goes on.

“I like painting. I am an only child. I have a little cousin, he’s my whole life and I really miss him the most. Oh, my family is actually British, but they all settled in New Orleans once my grandparents passed away. I am a terrible dancer. I prefer mountains to the beach. I don’t really have any friends, but right now I have my hands full with you, so..”

“Put your hands away from my ass now.” Josie orders her while moving Hope’s hands up on her back again. Hope laughs amused. Then she stares intently at the brunette. “And yes, I do want children.” 

Josie smiles softly. “That’s good to know.” 

Hope leans in and finally kisses her after a long day and instantly feels a wave of relief. Josie breaks the kiss placing her hands on Hope’s chest to push her away.  
She meets her eyes and cups her cheeks in her hands to have all her attention.

“You are enough, Hope. Don’t ever, ever think you aren’t to me. And I’m sorry if I made you feel like you weren’t. You’re the best thing I have right now, truly.” 

Hope smiles softly and places another kiss on her lips. 

“Wanna come to my place tonight?” 

Josie widens her eyes and opens her mouth in surprise. “Really? You have a home?! I thought you were sleeping here in the bunk beds!”

“Your humor is getting on my nerves today, you know?” She says still laughing.

“Just because I forbid you from getting into my pants? How dramatic.”

“Maybe it’s for the best. I was becoming too much addicted.”

“To sex?”

“To You.” 

Josie smiles feeling flattered, then she starts walking away without breaking eye contact. 

“You’re still not getting into my pants tonight.” 

She quickly opens the door and runs away. 

“Oh come on!” 

Maybe faith has a funny way of working.  
It’s like one day you realize that fairytales may be slightly different than how they made you believe they would be, but they do exist in some way. Maybe it’s a Prince, maybe a Princess. To Josie, it was a doctor. The best one she could ever have the luck to run into during a random night in a bar. 

She wasn’t sure of many things, but she had to have faith, right? And she had faith in Hope. For now, it’s not important if it’s happy ever after or not. 

She was enough.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the absence guys, I had an important exam today so I had to focus on that all week :( but since I’m almost done with exams I’ll be updating more often now. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter. :)

Secrets can’t hide in science. Eventually, science reveals lies herself. How we manage to keep secrets outside of science, that’s another thing. 

There are two types of secrets; the ones you want to keep in, and the ones you don’t dare to let out. They say some secrets are made to protect us. Some secrets are innocent, others are not. Others can hurt us.

But between the two, if you decide to keep a secret, once it is out in the open that secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it, does not. 

Lizzie knocks incessantly at the bathroom door, still in her pajamas and still half asleep.

“Landon! I need to take a shower! What’s taking you so long?!”

“Sorry! Uh, I’ll be out in a minute!”

Lizzie rolls her eyes and then frowns. She leans her ear to the door. “Are you masturbating?!” She smiles amused.

“What?! No I’m not! I’m getting dressed!”

“Sure, sure. Don’t worry teenage bird, it’s okay to masturbate. It lowers stress, it’s a natural pain killer, and having an orgasm releases endorphins- so good chemicals in your brain. It also helps with period cramps, so you should be fine.” 

“For the last time, I am a guy! You saw my penis!”

“And I wish I could erase that image from my head every day.” 

Suddenly the door bursts open and Landon looks at her in annoyance, while Lizzie smiles in amusement.

“How did it go?”

“Fuck off Lizzie.” He bumps against her shoulder and walks downstairs, while Lizzie keeps laughing amused.

“Lizzie! Lizzie, can I go in first please?” Jade asks her sounding quite desperate.

“Oh, if you ask me like that...” Lizzie smiles widely and then, all of the sudden, her expression is serious again. “No.” And she closes the door. 

Jade groans and knocks to Josie’s room and then enters without waiting for an answer. Luckily, she finds Hope and Josie still asleep and wrapped around each other.

“Sorry Jo, I need to use your bathroom.” She enters and quickly closes the door.

That is enough to wake up both girls. Josie groans, desperately wanting to go back to sleep, but she can’t. And then Hope’s phone starts ringing.

The girl rubs her eyes and tries to focus on the name on the screen. As she sees it, she turns down the call and goes back to embrace Josie. 

“Shouldn’t you answer all your calls?” Josie mutters, her head buried in Hope’s neck. 

“Hmm. Just life or death calls.”

“What if that was?”

“It wasn’t. Get back to sleep.” She whispers.

“We can’t.” Josie cries. Then she quickly sits up on the bed, looking at Hope still laying down with her eyes closed. 

“That was so brutal. You can’t suddenly leave me like that.” 

Josie chuckles. “You wouldn’t like to be chained to me all day, trust me.” 

“I wouldn’t mind. I’m all in for the chains.” She smirks while she tries to grab Josie with her hand, but the brunette doesn’t let her and pushes her away.

“You really are something else, Hope Mikaelson.” 

“Is that something good?” 

Josie smiles. “Maybe I’ll give you an answer in due time.” 

//

In the locker room, Lizzie won’t stop teasing Landon in front of the others.

“Look muppet boy, if you want to keep it a secret, it’s okay. But just say you were doing it.” 

“You do realize that’s a contradiction, right?” Josie asks. “And besides, this is none of your business, Lizzie.”

“Well, why don’t we share our secrets then? We live together, we should know about our kinks or worse. Me first-“ She raises her hand. “I don’t have secrets. Who’s next?”

“I don’t have any secrets either.” Jade says.

Josie scoffs a laugh. 

“What do you know?”

She raises her gaze to Lizzie, not realizing the blonde had noticed her reaction. She meets Jade’s both scared and warning gaze.

“Oh, um, nothing. I just, I think she’s lying. But I don’t know anything.” 

“Huh.” Lizzie turns to look at Jade, her arms crossed on her chest. “You. Speak your truth, tell your tale.”

Jade laughs at her face. “I don’t have to tell you anything.” She walks past the blonde and leaves the room.

Lizzie is hit with a hint of anger at first, then she decides to shrug it off and start her rounds. 

//

Jade walks down the morgue to help Alyssa for an autopsy. While she walks down there, her phone keeps ringing incessantly. She looks at the screen for the tenth times that morning, but she ignores the call once again. 

She enters the room and sees Alyssa ready to start opening the body. 

“Hey. You brought a textbook?” Jade asks.

“It’s a dead body, Jade. I can’t do any harm to him.”

“Okay. So what do I do?” 

“Wait.” 

Jade sighs and stares at the body for a moment. 

“You should really be using a tenth blade.”

Alyssa rolls her eyes in annoyance. “I know what I’m doing. Go get the saw.” 

“Someone here is a little cranky.”

Jade keeps looking at the girl, who is still frozen in place and not making a move, her eyes still on the body. 

“Lyss? Are you okay?”

“Yes. I’m fine.”

“Then...why aren’t you cutting?” 

“Do you think I’m a selfish person?” She suddenly asks, catching Jade off guard.

“I..don’t think we know each other that well. Maybe you should ask Josie.”

“Josie would tell me I’m not. Now I need to know what do you think?”

Jade thinks about it for a moment. She notices Alyssa’s pleading look. Maybe her answer was really that important for the girl. 

“I don’t think you are. Honestly, I think you’re great. And if Josie says you’re a good person, then you are, trust me.”

Alyssa only nods and keeps silent. 

“Why are you asking me this?”

“It’s..nothing. Let it go.”

//

Lizzie walks into trauma to see the new urgency arriving at the hospital, and she sees Milton being wheeled in. She rushes next to him looking panicked.

“Oh my God, what happened?!” 

“His pulse is rapid and irregular.”

The paramedics walk away to rush him to the OR, while Lizzie stays frozen in place. She can’t move. She’s scared to move. Her breath is stuck in her throat and suddenly a sense of deja vue hits her.  
The sounds all around her are muffled for a moment, like she’s suddenly underwater.

Then someone shakes her from her trance.

“Lizzie? Lizzie.”

She instantly snaps out of it and meets Jade in front of her. 

“Hey, are you okay? Do I need to call Josie?”

“It’s..it’s Milton.”

“The heart guy? He’s back?” 

Lizzie doesn’t answer her, instead she finds in herself the strength to move and follow Milton and the doctors in the room. As much as Jade wanted to stay out of it, she follows her, just to make sure Lizzie was really okay.

When she reached her, she was already talking to Dr. Williams.

“Bizoprolo can reduce the chance of mortality. Can we try that? What about ACE inhibitors? Digoxin! Somebody load him with dig!”

“Parker slow down. He's holding on. Barely but he's holding on.”

“Isn't there something more that we can do? There has to be something more we can do.” She says still panicking.

“The best we can do is to get him up to CICU and wait and see if his heart will stabilize.”

“Lizzie, we should...we should go.” Jade grabs her arm.

“No! You go, I'm gonna stay.”

Dr. Williams looks at Jade as if he hoped to get answers for Lizzie’s behavior. But Jade couldn’t answer that. She doesn’t know if that’s Lizzie caring about saving a life or Lizzie actually caring because she had feelings for that guy. 

She decides to pretend she doesn’t know which one is right, because it’s easier to pretend than deal with the reality of what that is.

//

Lizzie is sitting by Milton’s bed, checking on the screens how his heart rate is doing. Then she adds something to his IV. As she does that, she feels a pair of eyes watching her, and she catches Milton staring at her with a weak smile. She smiles back.

“Hey. Just adding nitro. Your blood pressure is stable now. Your CHF has improved and the atrial fibrillation resolved.”

“I like the way you say fibrillation.” 

She laughs. “You never stop, do you?” 

“Especially now.” He says with a feeble voice. 

Lizzie caresses his hand to comfort him.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been electrified a thousand times.” 

“Just three times.” 

“Damn. You really fought for me.” 

Lizzie laughs and this time holds his hand in hers.

“Well, I guess it’s going to take a while until you can get out of here again.” 

He sighs. “Please don’t remind me.”

“We might as well have that date in here then, what do you say?” 

A wide smile covers his face. “You asking me on a date before me? I feel so humiliated.” 

“Well, I tend to embarrass men because of how good I am at being in charge.”

“I like the sound of that.”

//

Josie walks in the hallways looking for Hope in every corner and room. She doesn’t know why she got up in such a good mood that day, but she took that as a good thing. Since her mom passed away she’s had many bad days, but also others quite good. And today is one of those.

After searching on two floors and thirty rooms, she finally finds Hope in the CT room, waiting for the scans of a patient to pop up on the screen.

She walks behind the girl without making a noise and embraces her. She hides her face in the crook of the girl’s neck and starts leaving sweet kisses. 

“Am I being held hostage?” Hope asks smiling widely.

“Yes you are. And I also wanted to ask you something...”

“Hmm. What’s that?” 

Josie sits on the girl’s lap not caring for whoever might see them, placing her arms around Hope’s neck.

“I wanna take you out tonight.” 

Josie has such a bright smile that Hope for a moment thinks she might be on drugs, but it was too good to see.

“Okay then. I’m done in an hour. I’ll see you down the lobby?” 

“Yes, you will.” 

Josie closes the distance between them and starts kissing her passionately. Hope slowly places her hands under Josie’s lab coat and then her scrub, holding tight on the girl’s hips and bringing her even closer. 

But Josie suddenly grabs her wrists and takes her hand off of her, also breaking the kiss. She brushes their noses together and keeps smiling amused at the girl’s disappointed face. 

“We’re at work, Dr. Mikaelson.” She whispers, then she licks Hope’s bottom lip, causing the girl to release a loud sigh.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“I don’t hate you, at all.” She leaves more kisses on her neck. “I just like teasing you.” 

“You’re the devil. That’s a real personality trait of yours.” 

“How are you enjoying hell so far, Dr. Mikaelson?” She teases her more, biting gently on her neck.

“I wouldn’t change it for anything else in the world.” 

Josie finally stops and faces her again, a tender look on her face. 

“Really?” 

“Really.” 

Josie gives her one last smile and kiss before standing up. 

“One hour. Down the lobby. I’ll be there.” She says. Then she walks away.

Hope’s phone starts ringing again for the fifth time that day. She looks at the screen and sighs in frustration. Then she turns down the call.

//

Alyssa walks into the empty hallway, finding Jade laying on the bed alone, probably trying to sleep. She sits beside her and shakes the girl to get her attention. 

Jade opens her eyes and looks at her in confusion. Before she can ask her what’s wrong, Alyssa speaks.

“I can’t find Josie. And I need someone to rant to. And you’re the only one available at the moment, so.”

“I’m no shrink but fine, tell your truth or whatever.”

“I’m pregnant.”

Jade instantly sits up with looking at the girl in shock. “What?!” 

“Am I bad for not wanting this?” 

Jade’s face suddenly softens. 

“Lyss, of course not. It’s your choice. And I get it, it’s not the right moment for you.”

“It might never be the right moment for me.”

“And that’s okay too. You have the right to do whatever you want.” 

“Yeah.” 

Silence falls between them, then Alyssa looks up at the blonde again.

“What’s up with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb Montgomery, spill your secret too.”

”I have two.” 

“Oh please, do tell. I need entertainment.” She sits crossing her leg on the bed. 

Jade scoffs a laugh and then takes a moment to put the words together. “My biological parents showed up all of the sudden. So my social worker is calling me to know if I want to set up a meeting with them.”

“And what did you say?”

“I..I still haven’t answered. I don’t know what to do.” 

“Hmm. Well, parents in general can be disappointing. I mean from what I remember, my biological parents were great. Until..you know, they died.” 

Jade looks at her with tenderness and keeps silent.

“What about the other secret?” 

Jade sighs heavily and looks away, fearing to say the words out loud. “It’s..Lizzie.” 

“I knew you were in love with her!” 

“What?! No! It’s not-“

“What?” 

Both girls turn to their side to see Lizzie standing at the door, looking at Jade in disbelief. The hallway suddenly felt freezing cold. Or maybe it was just Jade who was slowly dying. 

Alyssa keeps staring at the both of them, then she clears her throat and gets up. “Okay, um, maybe I should go..find..yeah.” 

When they’re left alone, none of them still dare to talk. Lizzie turns around to walk away, but before she does, she asks her something.

“Is it true?” 

Jade looks and feels like a scared puppy. She was so scared for this to happen, that she can’t stand herself for how coward she is. 

“What if it is?”

Lizzie wants to believe it for a moment, but then she bursts into laughter.

“Very funny. Sorry, I have a date.” 

“Lizzie wait-“

But she was already gone.

//

Hope walks out the elevator and walks to Josie, who’s waiting for her sitting in the lobby. 

She’s quite nervous, but not about the date. She’s nervous about the calls she’s been having all day. She really wants to ignore this. Because she’s good. She’s happy now. But she can’t help but feeling bad for keeping a secret this big from Josie. A secret that will most likely ruin everything they have built until now, but she had to be honest with her. Josie deserves it.

It becomes even harder to think about talking to her about it while she’s smiling at her like that.

“Hey. So I was thinking, since it’s Friday..how about we head to that bar of yours? It’s jazz music night tonight, right?” 

Hope feels her heart melt for a moment. 

“You remembered?”

Josie smiles softly. “Of course I remember.” 

Then she’s hit with guilt.

Hope’s gaze catches someone walking towards them. And she knows in that moment that her fear was becoming true. And it’s on her. And she deserves it. But Josie doesn’t.

She places a hand on Josie’s arm and looks at her with an apologizing look that worries even Josie.

“Josie, I’m so sorry.” 

“Why..” 

“Hope.” The girl also glances at Josie, then at Hope again. “Haven’t you gotten any of my calls?” 

Josie looks confused at both of them, but Hope is still looking away and not talking.

“Um, I’m sorry, who are you?” 

“I’m Maya Mikaelson, Hope’s wife. Nice to meet you.” She shakes Josie’s hand, whose face is stunned. “And you must be reason why she doesn’t answer any of my calls.” 

The problem with secrets it’s that once they’re out, they always do damage, in one way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...well, angst is back again.


	13. Chapter 13

Feelings can ruin everything. They can screw you over if you let yourself being vulnerable; and it sucks. As a surgeon, it’s best packing away every emotion to keep your head clear, so as not to make mistakes. So as not to hurt someone else.

Maybe being emotionless would help getting through everything. Instead, we always find ourselves having to pick up the pieces. Maybe there’s only one positive emotion that can guide us through all of this.

_Anger._

It keeps you from breaking. 

Alyssa rushes into the bar where Josie said she would find her. As she walks in, her lungs are filled with smoke and the smell of beers and tequila. Her eyes search for Josie in the room, and she sees the brunette sitting by the bar counter, with a line of ten shots in front of her. 

She sits beside her and takes a look at her. She has the same pout she usually wears when she gets into a fight with Hope, so her first guess it’s the neurosurgeon.

“Are you planning on drinking all of those?” 

Josie takes a whole shot and then places the empty glass upside down on the counter.

“Yes.”

Alyssa sighs. “What happened?” 

“Hope is married.” She says spelling the words. 

Alyssa widens her eyes in shock, trying to process what the brunette just said.

“What?!” 

“I hate her..so much. She played me, all this time! She accused me of playing her and then she was the one that was fucking married!” She shouts, getting others people attention, but she doesn’t care. 

“What did she say?” 

“Nothing. I ran away before she could start filling me with more lies.” She drinks again. “I hate her.” 

“That bitch.”

“I never wanna see her again.”

“But you work there, Jo.”

“I never wanna see her again- _in my bed.”_ She adds.

Alyssa sighs and takes away the next shot the brunette was about to soak up. 

“If you let her keep doing this to you, you’re going to get yourself fired for real this time.” 

“I won’t.” 

Alyssa keeps glaring at her as if to make sure she was telling the truth. 

“I won’t. I‘ll just act professional. I can be professional. I can. I can, right?” 

“Are you sure about that?” 

She keeps quiet for a while, just staring at Alyssa while biting her bottom lip in frustration. She decides not to answer and throws down the next shot.

//

“Why are you here, Maya?”

“I came for you. I don’t want to give up on us. You may have done that easily but I can’t.”

Hope lets out a bitter laugh. “You cheated on me, I’d say you were the first to give up.” 

“That’s not true. I kept fighting for you. I’ve been trying to reach you for weeks, but you wouldn’t pick up the phone. I had to come here to see you.”

“No, Maya. You shouldn’t have. I told you everything I had to tell you.” 

Maya walks closer and entwines her fingers in Hope’s hair, but she quickly pulls away. But that’s not enough to stop Maya.

“Hope, come home with me. We can work this together. We always do.” She says softly.

Hope shakes her head in denial. She feels close to tears as she thinks about Josie and how betrayed she must be feeling right now. 

“No, Maya, we can’t. To me it was over the moment I walked out the door. So you can go back home alone.” 

“I can’t. I’m gonna be staying here for a while. Maybe Dr. Bennett can use a hand.”

“Seriously?!” 

“I’m not giving up on us, Hope. Please, think about it.” 

As Maya walks away, Hope is hit with a wave of panic, her only thought was to find Josie and explain everything to her. Tell her that she didn’t mean to hurt her. That it was real. Every part. Every moment.

Just as she’s walking towards the exit, she sees the brunette she so desperately wanted to talk to, walking in with Alyssa by her side. 

As the girls see Hope on the other side of the sliding door, both of them instantly turn around and walk back outside, despite the pouring rain.

But Hope can’t let the brunette walk away like this, without talking. So she follows them outside and grabs Josie’s hand to stop her.

“Josie please, let me explain.”

Alyssa puts herself between them as to protect Josie from her. “Right now, I’m gonna pretend that you’re not my boss and that you’re just a bitch that hurt my best friend. So you better walk away while I’m still not kicking your cheating ass.” 

“It’s not like that. It’s the exact opposite. Josie please...” She tries to reach her again, but this time Josie is the one stepping in front of Alyssa and facing Hope.

Josie‘s gaze feels like a thousand cuts to Hope. She hates her. She definitely hates her. 

“You want to explain?” She says trying to hold the tears. “Now you want to explain? Why not include it in the list of things I should’ve known about you! Why not tell me when I specifically told you that I needed more! And if you couldn’t give me that, then why keep playing with me?! Was it just for the sex? It was, wasn’t it?” 

Hope is on the verge of crying too. This was so wrong. So wrong.

“No! Josie I was real with you, the whole time. I swear-“

“How?! How could you be real and carry this lie with you!” 

She turns around and starts walking away. 

“Josie!” 

“Don’t follow me, Hope. I swear...I’m so done with you this time.” 

As soon as Josie walked away, Hope felt her heart shatter all over again. Josie’s tone was so harsh, and she was so mad. Hope had never seen her like that. She had done this to her on top of everything, and now she had lost the only thing that made her life better. Probably nothing could fix that. Not even the truth. 

//

The next day, Josie went to work in the worst mood. She knew she had to see Hope there, one way or another. They would have to work together eventually, but that was even worse considering her wife was there now. 

_Her wife._

This sounds so humiliating to her. Did Hope really took advantage of her because she was an intern? Was it all because of the thrill? Or was it to get revenge for her wife? 

What if she goes back to her now?

_Wait._

It doesn’t matter. 

Josie was done with her anyway. From now on, she was there to do her job and her job only. 

As she finishes getting changed, Lizzie walks up to her with a concerned look.

“Are you sure you can handle seeing her around today?” 

“Yeah. It’s okay, really.”

“Jo, I know you. If you push down what you’re feeling you’re going to explode sooner or later-“

“Lizzie, I’m fine.” She answer firmly. “Seriously.” She walks out of the locker room without saying another word to anyone.

“What can we do for her?” Landon says walking to Lizzie.

“Honestly? I have no idea. Maybe we should just get her drunk for the next couple of weeks.”

Landon frowns. “Good, so she becomes an alcoholic and we have another problem on top of this.”

“Look, fixing Josie’s broken heart is not easy. It’s not something we can do for her. We can only ease the pain.” 

“Okay. But no alcohol.” He says pointing his finger at her.

She rolls her eyes in annoyance. “Whatever. Maybe it’s your chance now lame boy.” She pats his shoulder and leaves. 

//

As Josie is walking in the hallway, she’s stopped by Bennett.

“Parker. There’s been a special request.”

“What?”

“Dr. Mikaelson requested your assistance today.” She says while she writes down the surgeries of the day on the board.

“And why would that be special?” 

Bennett meets Josie’s annoyed look and scoffs a laugh in amusement. 

“What?”

“I’m sorry Parker. But it’s so obvious how pissed you are.” 

“I bet that must be so funny to you.” She says crossing her arms on her chest.

“A little. But I’m not very thrilled about adding more drama to this hospital. By the way, I meant the other Mikaelson, Maya.” 

Josie’s jaw drops and looks at Bennett in disbelief. 

“Her?!”

“Yes. And you better behave, Parker. I don’t think you can count on favoritism anymore.” And she walks away. 

Josie sighs in frustration. Of course she had to spend the entire day following orders from Maya Mikaelson. She should have predicted this. 

But she would keep it professional. She will do her job without trying to compete. She doesn’t have to. She doesn’t need to prove the girl she’s worth of Hope, right? 

No. She doesn’t.

//

“All right, Josie. Define TTTS.” Maya asks her. 

“Twin-twin transfusion syndrome. Conjoined fetal twins.”

“Connected by?”

“Blood vessels in the placenta.”

“Meaning?”

“One twin gets too much blood, the other too little, endangering the lives of both.” Josie answers proudly.

Maya probably expected her not to know, judging by the surprised and almost disappointed look on her face. 

“They told me there wasn't much chance anything could be done.” Her patient say.

“TTTS is usually impossible to correct Julie. Unless you happen to be one of a handful of surgeons in the world who knows how to separate fetal blood vessels. Which, luckily for you, I am. So were gonna get you into surgery tomorrow. If you have any questions at all please ask Dr. Parker. From what I have seen, she is one the hospital's most popular interns.” 

_Such a fake ass bitch._

As Maya gives her one last look before walking out of the room, Josie almost fears she must have said it out loud. She releases a heavy sigh and rubs nervously her forehead. Her eyes fall on Julie, who’s staring at her from the bed.

“I know Maya. And I know someone who‘s trying to compete when I see it.”

“I’m not..I don’t-“

“Why would you go after another woman’s wife? Your boss, of them all.”

“Excuse me?” 

“I mean it happened to me too. My husband left me for a long-legged secretary as soon as he heard about my pregnancy.”

“I’m sorry for your husband.”

“Aren’t you sorry for Dr. Mikaleson’s wife?” 

Josie keeps quiet, feeling more humiliated than she’s ever been. 

Is that what it looked like? Like she was the one going after Hope? That she was in the way of her marriage? 

Josie can’t take this. She’s not some rebound or a lover. She’s not how Maya is making her look like.

She runs outside the room decided to look for Hope and face her now before her place of work can become something she might start hating too. If she was still there it’s because she believes that this hospital is her place, where she’s supposed to learn and grow from here. And she didn’t want this is to get in the way of that. 

Luckily, she finds Hope walking right in front of her. As the girl’s sad gaze meets the brunette’s angry one, she doesn’t have time to say anything, because Josie drags her into the nearest stairwell. 

As they’re alone, Josie gives vent to her anger. 

“First, your wife, asks for me as her intern for the day-“

Hope looks genuinely surprised and oblivious. “Wha-“

“Then she makes her patient think that I’m some stealing wives and that I’m clearly some slut who enjoys screwing her boss!”

“Josie, I’m sorry...”

“You better be! Because it’s your fault, Hope.” Her voice breaks and her anger is replaced with a sudden sadness. “You said I wasn’t one of your mistresses. Then what was I to you? You..” She laughs nervously, thinking how much this looks like a real joke to her. Because she believed her. She cared for her. “I can’t stand the sight of you.” 

Josie tries her best not burst into tears and runs away before Hope is able to say something. Not that she could’ve anyway. She felt like someone had just ripped the last shred of joy she had. The thing was, she couldn’t decide if it was Maya or Josie that did it. 

//

“Hey Lyss, you look like shit today.” Jade says sitting by the table with her food.

“I’m just nervous. I..have that appointment in the afternoon.” 

“Oh. Do you need me to go with you?” 

Alyssa smiles. “It’s fine. Josie is coming with. Speaking of, have you seen her today? She looked like a Death Eater this morning.”

“I haven’t seen her. I had to fix last week’s charts all morning. Sometimes I forget I’m supposed to operate on people.” 

“Have you decided what you’re going to do about your parents?” 

Jade lowers her head, playing lazily with her food. 

“I still don’t know.”

Suddenly Josie sits with them and steals Jade’s water to drink. 

“Help yourself.” Jade says.

“I hate Mikaelson 2.0.” 

“That was expected, honestly.” Alyssa says. 

Josie sighs. “Has any of you seen Lizzie? I need her.”

“I think she’s with the heart patient.” Jade says, a hint of jealousy in her voice.

“Is she serious about him?” Josie asks. “I don’t like this.”

“Looks like you two are a catch for messy relationships.” Alyssa says while sipping her juice.

“Shut up. Oh. Do you have that appointment today?”

“Yes. It’s at five.”

Josie looks at the clock and gets up. “Okay. I have to go back now, I should be done in two hours or so. Meet you down the lobby?” 

“Yes. And..thank you.” Alyssa smiles softly. Josie leans in and places a quick kiss on her forehead and then runs away. 

//

Hope walks into the attendings room where Maya is sitting by the meeting table, focused on some papers she’s filling. She slams the door behind her capturing her attention and then walks furiously towards her.

“Really? You requested her?” 

Maya smiles and, unlike Hope, she looks quite calm and unbothered. 

“I heard she was the best around here, I guess not only at her job.” 

“Let her be and stop spreading fake rumors about her. What is wrong with you?!” 

“I did not spread any rumors, Hope. Julie is my friend and she knows I’m trying to make up for my mistake and that girl is in the way of that.” 

Hope tries not to snap as her father would, but she was a Mikaelson after all.

“No, Maya! She’s not in the way of that, if anything I am! I don’t want you to fix it, Maya, don’t you see it? I want a divorce.” 

Maya looks almost hurt and defeated, but despite the way Hope talks to her, she’s still determined to save their marriage. 

“I booked us an appointment with the therapist tomorrow. Before you take that decision, we should at least talk about our feelings. I think that would be good for us.”

Hope sighs in frustration. She’s been wanting to cry for a while now, but she’s not one that cries easily. She probably hasn’t cried since her mother’s death, or when she does, it’s always because of her mom. She hasn’t even cried when she found out about Maya cheating on her with her best friend. She was just furious. But now she was constantly near the edge of tears. 

Suddenly there is a knock on the door. When it opens, Hope’s eyes instantly meet Josie’s, who for the first time that day unconsciously softens at the sight of the auburn haired girl. 

Why did they have to be hurting so much? Just looking at each other shouldn’t hurt so much. 

Was it really so hard to fix? 

“Um, Dr. Mikaelson,” Josie moves her gaze to Maya. “Labs confirm abnormalities on the ultrasound. You should come and see for yourself.” 

“All right.” 

Maya walks ahead while Josie keeps standing on the door staring at Hope, feeling unable to move. 

She shouldn’t be doing this to herself. She shouldn’t feel the need to be close to Hope. Yet, she does.

“Josie..would you please stop by my place tonight? I need to talk to you.” 

Her voice sounded like a plead. And Josie swears she won’t fall for that just because Hope is looking at her with those eyes. 

So caring.

Yet, full of secrets and lies. 

“Fine.” 

She walks away quickly, before she can regret it and Maya can start thinking of all possible scenarios.

//

Alyssa and Josie are sitting in the waiting room of the clinic. The raven haired girl is so nervous and yet tries hides it so well, but Josie knows better. She takes the girl’s hand and faces her. 

“Hey. It’s going to be okay.” 

Alyssa smiles sadly. “Yeah, I know.” 

“What are you thinking? Tell me.” 

“I know there are other options. But I don’t..I don’t want to do the whole..being pregnant either. And I wish I would want a kid, but I don’t.” She pauses. “You know how it’s like to be raised by people who don’t care about you? Like..they didn’t even want you? And I get it. I mean, my parents died and then I became this dead weight and problematic kid. I wouldn’t know how to be a mother because I never really had one. The ones I had were not very good examples. And I know you would say that I would be great at it, but believe me I wouldn’t. My career is more important than anything right now. And that’s why I can’t do this. I can’t put a kid through that same pain and rejection. Because it stays with you.” 

Josie was staring at her with a sympathetic look and holding her hand tighter now. She nods in understanding and then sighs softly.

“I know how that feels. I mean, I had my mom. But I know how it’s like not to be wanted by your parent. My dad...he left us when we were eleven. He was an alcoholic. And he ran away with one of his college students.” She laughs bitterly. “He just..erased us. He vanished, just like that. And I have no good memories of him, if not the times when he would buy me birthdays and Christmas presents. But that’s nothing compared to the absence and rejection I’ve felt all these years. So yes, I know how it is. And if you need to do this, then so be it. I will always support you, no matter what.” 

Alyssa smiles tenderly, finally feeling some kind of comfort she had been looking for all this time. 

She’s ready to do this. It’s the right thing to do. 

“Alyssa Chang? You can come in.” 

//

Josie steps out of the car and walks to Hope, who’s waiting for her sitting on the stairs outside her building. Josie walks slowly, almost scared to hear what she has to say this time. Maybe that’s why she hadn’t allowed the girl to talk until now. 

She was scared she would give her one more reason to let go. 

And she didn’t want to. 

They stay silent for a while. Josie has her gaze focused all around her, while Hope keeps looking at her sadly, a beer in her hand. 

“She cheated on me.” 

That seems to catch Josie’s attention. And she finally looks at Hope.

“With my best friend. I left the same night. I went to my dad and told him I was going to ask for a transfer because I didn’t want to stay in New Orleans anymore. And they sent me here.” She scoffs a laugh. “I even left my home. My family, because what happened was just too much for me. And then I met you.” She looks down at her beer before looking up again. 

“You just wanted a distraction.” Josie states emotionless.

Hope smiles sadly. “I did, at first. But then turns out you were my intern and I couldn’t stop looking for you in every corner. I was just drawn to you, I couldn’t help it.” She pauses. “You asked me what you were to me. You’re not a rebound, Josie. You’re not a lover, not a mistress, not just an intern. You’re the closest thing to real happiness I’ve ever felt. It’s like I had open wounds that I didn’t even know about and you fixed me whole. You just felt..right.” 

“What now? Do I still feel right now?” 

She regretted asking it as soon as the words came out. She doesn’t want to know the answer. She doesn’t want to feel even more broken than she’s feeling now. 

“I don’t know what’s right. I..don’t know what to do.” 

Josie fights hard to keep her tears from falling. She bites her bottom lip to force herself not to. She looks at Hope one last time before she decides to leave. 

“So I’m not enough.” 

Now she was definitely crying. All her certainties came crashing down. And the fact that Hope won’t even say something, not even look at her, was even more painful.

“Just know that I won’t be there when you finally know. Goodbye Hope.” 

//

When Josie comes back home after talking to Hope, she walks upstairs and goes to her room, where Alyssa was resting after her surgery. As the brunette walks in, she sees the girl laying in the middle of her bed, Jade sitting to her left. The girls notice the breaking sadness from the pout on Josie’s face and the cheeks still wet from tears. 

Josie abandons herself on the bed and leans her head on Alyssa’s shoulder, wrapping her arms around her friend’s arm to seek comfort.

The two girls stare at each other for a moment before it’s Alyssa the first to break the silence and talk to Josie.

“I guess it didn’t go well?” 

“No. It didn’t.” Josie’s voice came out as a whisper. 

“Hey. You still have me. And even this former sex addict over here.” She says pointing at Jade, who laughs along with Josie.

“I just thought I was enough.”

“You are enough. And if she won’t see it, then screw her. Anyone who meets you would be lucky to even get the slightest bit of attention from you.” Jade says.

“Exactly. And what you did today for me? No one in the world could top that. That’s why you’re my best friend. My person, or whatever.” 

Josie smiles and looks at her. “Your person?”

“Or whatever.”

Josie chuckles, for real this time.

They stay silent for a while, just staring at the ceiling. 

“Sleepover tonight?” Jade asks.

“Yes.” Both the girls answer. 

“Jade?” 

“Yes, Jo?”

“We’re getting a dog tomorrow.” 

Jade lets out a tender smile, realizing that maybe, just maybe, Josie was finally giving her a chance. And maybe they would be okay.

Turns out that anger it’s just a stage you go through. Eventually, that anger turns into sadness. The pain just jumps out.

How long can you go without breaking? 

It’s not something you can control. Suddenly, your feelings are all over the place. And you just let yourself feel, waiting for tomorrow to be better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say I really love this trio? 
> 
> Oh, please feel free to drop cute/funny dogs names in the comments.


	14. Chapter 14

Do we know why we always keep missing the people who hurt us? Those who break our hearts are the only ones who could repair what they broke. We are always looking for closure from those people and some of us never get it. 

We hold so much on the memories and that only makes us miss them more. It’s frustrating, because even when you want to hate them, something pulls you back. 

How do we heal then? That’s the hard part. Do we want to heal? How do we say goodbye to someone who isn’t really gone? 

“You got a dog and you still haven’t named him?!” 

Alyssa and Josie rush to get changed in their scrubs in the locker room, both of them late for their morning rounds. 

“Jade and I have been arguing about a name for the past three days.”

“So what have you been calling him until now?” 

“Just..boy.” 

Alyssa bursts into laugh. “Josie, how is a dog supposed to heal your broken heart?”

“It’s..you know, he’s cute and affectionate and he..keeps me company at night.” She says lowering her voice in embarrassment.

“You could just sleep with Lizzie. Who’s taking care of the dog now?” 

“Jade is. And-“ She looks at the clock. “I’m late.” 

She rushes out of the locker room and as she steps out in the hallway, she’s met with Hope standing there, looking as if she was waiting for her. Josie rolls her eyes and keeps walking, not wanting to talk to her. It’s not like she has something to say to her.

But Hope follows her.

“Josie.”

“What makes you think we are still on speaking terms?” 

“Can you stop for a moment? Please?”

“Why? You wanna talk? We did talk. Now we have nothing else to say to each other.”

“I asked for a divorce.” 

Suddenly Josie stops walking and turns around to face Hope, who’s looking at her with sad and tired eyes. It looks like she hasn’t been sleeping, but Josie doesn’t have to care about that.

This doesn’t concern her. 

_At all._

Josie crosses her arms on her chest and clears her throat, avoiding Hope’s gaze. “What am I supposed to do with that information?”

“I’m telling you that all I have to do is file the papers and I’m free. Josie...I meant it when I told you I was yours.” 

Josie looks nervously around her, fearing that someone might be listening to them. “Stop it. I don’t care.” 

“Really?” Hope’s voice sounded like a plead. 

It’s funny, how Hope would put herself down on her knees, begging for the brunette to forgive her. Pleading her to listen to her. Basically willing to follow her around and bury every last shred of her dignity, all because of Josie. 

“Really.”

“Josie..” 

Hope tries to take her hand and as their fingers brush together, Josie reacts as she has just been electrified. She takes back her hand, feeling a weird sense of nostalgia and pain all together. 

“It’s..complicated. And I don’t want to be a part of this..of this weird triangle. Not if she’s here and working under the same roof.” 

“Josie, I told you how I felt about you.”

“You did. And you also said you didn’t know what was right anymore.” 

“But now I know!” She bursts out gaining the attention from nurses and doctors in the hallway.

Josie drags her in the nearest on call room making sure no one sees them and then closes the door.

“First, you can’t do that in front of people. Second, you had two months to tell me about her existence, but you didn’t. I don’t care how sorry you are because I don’t believe you, Hope. You lied to me.” 

“What else do you want me to say, Josie?” She looks at her almost defeated. “I don’t want to lose you.” 

Josie almost falls for it. She wants to. She wants to give in so badly, but Hope is messy. And she doesn’t want messy. She has had her dose of pain and it was enough. 

She only stares at her for what seems like minutes, none of them leans in. It’s everything she can do now. Just stare at auburn hair and sad, sparkling blue eyes in the dark of the room. And it feels overwhelming.

“Give us another chance, please?”

Her voice is small and hopeful and Josie releases a small sigh that makes Hope shiver, the thought of those lips against hers crossing her mind.

“What do you say?” Hope says again, almost in a whisper. 

“One chance. Just one, Hope.” 

Hope instantly smiles and places a hand on her cheek, caressing her gently, and Josie involuntarily melts into the touch. 

“I’ll see you later then?”

She can’t help but relax and smile back at the girl. “Yeah.” 

Hope leaves the room before her, while she keeps standing in the middle of the dark room, thinking about the fact that she just fell back into the mess. 

It’s almost inevitable, choosing what hurt you before, thinking that it won’t happen again, just because we hold on to the good they gave to us.

Josie blamed herself for being so weak. For being so caught up into Hope, that trying to hate her lasted less than a week. And now she was willing to give her another chance. 

She needs to focus. She needs to stop thinking about her. 

After a while she gets paged into trauma and she leaves the room.

//

“Male, 55, victim of a head-on collision. Depressed skull fracture. Multiple internal injuries. ACLS protocol started, but was vein blew so we've been pushing meds down the tube. PEA on arrival.” The paramedic says.

“How long has he been down?” Bennett asks while wheeling the patient inside.

“For about 30 minutes. It took fire 20 minutes to get him out of the car. He's pretty much gone.”

“He’s not gone yet. Kirby! Get him into a bay and save him. Parker, you’re on this too. Move.”

As they place the stretcher in the trauma room, both Josie and Landon starts to reanimate him. 

“Okay, let’s charge to 200.” Landon says ready to shock the man. “Clear.” Then shocks the body. 

“Push 1 of epi. Let's go again. Charge to 300.” Josie says.

“Clear.” 

Then shocks again, nothing yet.

“Should I call it?” Landon asks unsure of what else to do.

“No, not yet. Let’s try a pericardial window.”

“Parker! I’ve got a bowel obstruction for you. Come here.” Bennett shouts.

“Go. I’ve got it.” Landon says. 

//

Lizzie and Alyssa are taking care of two other patients from the accident, a son and a mother, while the father is in the OR. Lizzie takes the son in the x-ray’s room, while Alyssa questions and examines the mother.

“My mom's ok, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I think so.” Lizzie says.

“They'd been fighting at breakfast. Dad..it's ugly when it gets like that. He ran three stop lights before we even got on the freeway. Some guy in a pick up cuts us off. And my dad just lost it. He started chasing the guy, blasting through traffic screaming at him. The next thing I know, we're upside down on the other side of the freeway.” 

Lizzie looks at him with sympathy. She gets it. Her dad used to get really mad at her mom too, especially when he was drunk. She remembers the last year before he left, he was a mess. And their mom started to become more worried every time they had to stay at home with him, while she was working all day and night at the hospital. 

Lizzie would still try to approach her father, because what could he ever do to her? He’s just drinking. He wouldn’t get mad at her for nothing. Instead, one time she did hit her. And Josie quickly came to her rescue and called her mom. That same night, Josette threw him out of the house. Then he came back again after he got batter, but after that he ran away with some girl way younger than him.

Sometimes Lizzie wonders how he’s doing. She never understood why her father did what he did. He was one of the reasons why she started to go to therapy, among every other thing. She doesn’t think she ever was this angry at her father like this guy is. She was mostly confused and sad.

Josie, on the other hand, was the angry one. Because when people leave her, Josie copes with anger. Then she breaks down and it takes a while for her to get over it. Usually, she doesn’t.

“How is he?” 

The boy, Liam, brings her out of her thoughts.

“Oh. He’s in surgery. It’s pretty serious.” 

“Well, he deserved it.”

“Okay, I'm just gonna roll you over Lea, easy.” Alyssa says.

She rolls her and notices a large bruise on her back. It didn’t look like a bruise she could’ve gotten from the accident.

“This...looks pretty bad. How did you get this?” 

“Well, we hit so hard..”

“I don't think this is from the collision. It looks a couple of weeks old.”

“Oh. That one. I got it last week from a fall. I’m pretty clumsy when I use the ladder at home.” 

Alyssa knows it’s a lie. She’s had her share of bruises herself when she was young. And she’s seen these also on her foster sisters and mothers. But she wasn’t going to say something out of line. At least not yet.

“Let’s get you to the x-rays room.”

//

Josie steps in the elevator wheeling her patient.

“You know, Mr. Olsen, you might make things easier on yourself if you just tell us what you've ingested. We'll know anyway, once we see your films.” Josie says.

“You have the most beautiful features. And your lips, so...kissable.” 

Josie sighs and decides to ignore his comments. “Mr. Olsen, whatever you've ingested could kill you. Are you sure you don't want to tell me what's got you blocked up inside?”

“It’s not drugs.”

“Are you sure?” 

“I swear.”

Ten minutes later, as the radiologist gives her back his x-ray, it confirms he has 10 balloons of drugs in his bowel.

“My guess it’s cocaine.” The radiologist says.

“I can’t trust anyone’s word, can I?” Josie wonders out loud.

“Definitely not.” 

Well, she didn’t really need an answer to that.

//

“Liam Seibert, 18. No fractures or internal bleeding. I say we can keep him overnight for observation.” Lizzie informs Bennett.

“Lea Seibert, 43. Multiple healed fractures on her clavicle and humerus. Third and fourth rib.” Alyssa says.

“Her son said the accident was road rage. His dad got cut off in traffic, went ballistic.” Lizzie says.

“Oh, that's not the story I got. His mom has a large yellowing bruise over her right kidney. Tender to palpitation. Said she got it from a fall last week.” 

Bennett scoffs. “Don’t believe that. She's bleeding. Perinephric hematoma. What do you do?” 

“It should take care of itself. We'll keep an eye on it. She needs bed rest and a shrink.”

“Good job you two. Oh, Lizzie, Dr. Williams found a heart for Greasley. Surgery is in a few.”

“Really?!” She says happily.

“Yes. Now go.“ 

//

“This guy is fucking stupid.” Bennett says looking at Mr. Olsen x-ray. “So, Parker, what do we do?”

“We run the bowel, entails removing all 36 feet of the intestine from the body cavity, hand searching for the balloons and then cutting them out.” Josie answers.

“Parker, book an OR. Chang, you're in too. I need all the hands I can get.”

Alyssa looks closely to the x-rays. 

“Are you sure it’s balloons? They look like...faces.” She narrows her eyes.

“Oh my God, you’re right. Wait. Are those-“ 

“Heads of Barbie dolls. Ten heads of Barbie dolls?! What’s wrong with people?” Bennett says.

//

Alyssa is sitting on a chair at the nurses station, while Josie is standing looking over a chart at the desk.

“My mom used to buy me and Lizzie Barbie dolls, I hated them.”

“Me too. I used to draw mustaches and horns on them.”

“That’s very you. I’m not surprised.” Josie laughs.

“These dolls ruined us girls. Think about it, they’re sexist and create unrealistic images of how girls should look like and men even watch porn with them in it.” She says with a disgusted face.

Josie frowns. “You mean..the dolls?”

“No! I mean real Barbie girls. But...maybe the dolls too.” She’s thoughtful.

“Huh.” 

Landon walks by the desk and sighs tiredly. 

“I called his death after two hours. Two hours.”

“Lan, are there Barbie dolls in heterosexual porn?” Josie asks.

“Wha-what? Why would I know about that?” 

“We know you watch porn. Jade saw your computer’s search.” Alyssa says with a mischievous smile. Josie can’t help but laugh too.

“I need to find a new apartment.” He walks away embarrassed.

Both girls start laughing loudly. “Landon! I’m sorry! Come on, you know you have me on your side!” Josie shouts. 

As she turns around, she finds Hope standing a few inches from her nose. She clumsily takes a step back and clears her throat, first glancing at a very confused Alyssa, then back at Hope.

“Hi.” She says softly.

Josie gives her a forced smile and tries to look away to avoid any eye contact.

“Are you busy?” Hope asks.

“Um- now? I, uh, have a surgery.” 

“Can I take you out tonight?” 

Josie flushes. “Dr. Mikaelson-“ 

“What?”

“Now it’s not the time.”

“Remember that I could be dead later.” Hope says smirking.

_That._

_Damn._

_Smirk._

She thinks she can get away with it just because she’s attractive?

_Yes. Okay. Maybe._

“Fine!” She sighs. “Now can you please..step back? I need to-“ She tries to walk away moving to Hope’s left, but the girl places herself in her way and stops her. Josie tries the other way, but Hope places herself in front of the brunette, and Josie bumps against her again. She sighs in frustration and looks at her with a serious face, while Hope is still smiling softly. “8:30. Don’t be late.” Then she walks away.

As Josie meets Alyssa’s gaze, she knows her best friend is about to lecture her. 

“Are you serious, Jo?” 

“Chang! You’re not here to sit and eat gummy bears! Get back to work!” Bennett shouts at her.

Alyssa sighs and gets up throwing one last deadly glance at Josie.

“We’re not done talking.”

//

Lizzie checks the vitals and the heart machine monitoring Milton’s heart activity and everything seems to be okay. 

“Am I in heaven?” He says slowly waking up from his anesthesia. Lizzie smiles and caresses his hand.

“You’re fine. And still on earth.”

“Then I found heaven on earth.” 

Lizzie rolls her eyes and smiles widely. “Unbelievable. Drugs are bad for you.” 

He smiles. “Yeah.” He swallows slowly. “So, how’s my new heart?”

“It’s a better heart. I saw it. Seems weird saying that I’ve seen your heart, both in the inside and on the outside.” 

“Oh Lizzie Parker, you love me.” 

“You caught me. I do. I have a thing for superheroes with scars on their chest.”

He still smiles widely, his eyes half closed. 

“Get some rest now. I’ll check up on you in the morning.” 

“Goodnight my angel.”

Lizzie can’t say what makes him so easy to like, but his presence makes her somehow lighter. He makes her dream about a different life, maybe an adventurous one, away from these walls. 

That is until she comes back home and she’s back to feeling overwhelmed with feelings she shouldn’t have. 

//

Alyssa is wheeling Liam back to his room. She helps getting him into bed and fixes his covers for him.

“I know how that’s like. To have a dad who yells at your mom, or you. And gets violent. It’s never easy to run away from that, but it comes a moment when you really have to start protecting yourself and the ones you love before it gets too ugly.”

“Did my mom tell you this?”

“She didn’t have to. I saw her bruises.”

“Yeah. Not the firsts.” He says sadly.

“Your dad is out of surgery. He will recover, slowly. But I think you should talk to your mom about this. It’s not how you’re supposed to live.” 

“How did you live like this?”

Alyssa stays silent for a moment, then she answers him honestly.

“I didn’t. I ran away.” 

//

Josie is standing at the nurse’s desk writing down the post-op when Maya walks up to her out of the blue. 

“Dr. Parker, nice to see you again.” 

Josie’s stomach is suddenly filled with acid and a weird sense of anger. She doesn’t answer, because she’s far from glad to see her again. She hoped she would be far away by now, but there she is.

“Have you seen my wife, by any chance?” 

_The nerve this woman has._

Josie drops her pen and looks at her in a challenging way. “Your ex wife, you mean?”

“I don’t recall signing divorce papers.” She chuckles amused. 

“But she did.” 

Maya frowns in confusion. “Uh, no, she didn’t, I have the files.“ Then Maya walks away following another doctor in the hallway. 

Josie’s jaw drops. Suddenly she doesn’t care about Maya, because the only person she wants to direct her anger at, is Hope. 

“Hey, you’re here. Are you ready?”

As Josie turns around to look at Hope, the girl knows there’s something wrong judging by Josie’s face. It’s the same one she gave her until that morning. 

Josie doesn’t say anything, she just pushes Hope out of the way and walks rapidly to the locker room. 

“Josie, what’s wrong? Talk to me!” She tries to grab her wrist but as she does, Josie pulls violently away and keeps walking. 

At that point, Hope pushes her into the next stairwell. 

“I knew I shouldn’t have given you a chance.” Josie says both angry and sad.  
“God, how stupid am I?” 

But Hope still looks oblivious and worried. “Why are you saying this?”

“You didn’t sign the divorce papers. You’re...you’re stalling.” She laughs bitterly. 

“Josie you have to understand...”

“What?! What do I have to understand now? That you had doubts again? You know what that means, Hope? That probably you don’t want me that much. That you want her.”

Her voice cracks at the end, feeling her heart breaking all over again. That’s what she didn’t want to happen. That’s the power Hope has over her. She’s able to break her more than once and she would still be there willing to give her another chance even when she doesn’t want to, even if it hurts.

“I don’t..I just- We were together for five years, Josie. And they were five good years before everything happened. And I’m not saying I want to get back with her. I’m just saying that...” She sighs heavily, feeling her heart pounding in her chest. 

“That you’re what, confused? This morning you told me that you knew what you wanted. You know what, Hope? I think you need to get your life in order, because I won’t follow you into this mess anymore.” A tear runs down her cheek. “I won’t be your second choice.”

“Josie...” She cups her cheek and caresses it tenderly. “You never were.” 

Hope’s touch feels like a flame burning on her skin. She feels the sudden need to pull away so as not to get hurt- _more hurt_ , than she already is. 

“Just stay away from me, please.” 

Then she walks away. And it seemed that it could become easier now trying to walk away from Hope. 

//

Josie comes back home tired both physically and emotionally from that day. First thing she does is looking for the dog, but she can’t find him anywhere, then she figures where he might be.

She opens the door of Jade’s room and sees the two cuddled on the bed. She walks on the free left side of the bed and lies down, caressing the dog softly.

Jade raises her gaze to study Josie’s face. She had become easy to read for her. 

“Bad day?”

“She didn’t sign the divorce papers.” 

Jade sighs, feeling sorry for the girl. “That’s it, tomorrow we’re going hunting. I’ll be your wingwoman.” 

Josie smiles. “I bet you’re good at that.” Then she meets Jade’s eyes, both of the girls still caressing the dog laying peacefully between them. “What about Lizzie?” 

Jade scoffs a laugh. “Heart patient is not a patient anymore. And she hates me. So..” 

“Are you telling me you haunted me for days trying to get into my pants and you’re giving up that easily on my sister?!” 

“It’s not the same thing.” 

Josie closes her eyes and groans. “God. You have feelings for her, we know. That’s why you should do something about it while you still can.”

“You have feelings for someone too and look where it got you. So, we’re going chicks hunting tomorrow. Period.” 

“Sure, Barney Stinson.” 

They stay silent for a while. Then Josie speaks up again.

“What about Tequila?”

“We’re not naming our dog Tequila, Jo.”

“I think it’s cool.”

“Go to sleep Jo.” Jade says abandoning her face against the pillow.

“What about Arlo? Nano?” She sinks her head in the pillow. “Maybe cotton wool, because he’s white.”

“Might as well name him paper towel.” Jade murmurs half asleep.

Josie smiles and keeps silent, still petting the dog next to her.

“I like Arlo.” Jade whispers.

“Then Arlo it is.”

Silence falls for a while and Josie starts feeling her eyes heavy.

“Can I sleep here?” 

When an answer doesn’t come, Josie makes herself more comfortable and closes her eyes, falling asleep after not long.

Sometimes you just have to stop, even when you don’t really want to. It’s easy to give in, it’s harder to get rid of ‘bad habits’. 

We don’t want to say goodbye. Sometimes we’re such masochistic that it doesn’t matter how much we’re scared of getting hurt. We still jump without the safety rope, hoping that maybe the fall won’t hurt so much. 

When it does, it doesn’t even come as a shock.

It’s like we knew it, but we just hoped that we were wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the dog names suggestions guys. Eventually I opted for Arlo because I watched an ep of b99 and I just pictured the same dog Rosa had 😭 It’s the cutest thing, you should look him up.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. I’ve been writing a lot to distract myself from these horrible couple of days. Naya’s loss hit me hard and has been a really tough day, but I figured I could give you a new chapter. 
> 
> If you are hurting and you need to talk to someone, don’t hesitate to dm me on twitter. (@/darkaylee) 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter. <3

The human life is made of choices. Yes or no. In or out. Love or hate. To be brave or to be a coward. To fight or give in. Live or die. Between all these choices, the only thing that we can’t control, is death. As for the rest, we’re the ones able to change the story. 

But every choice is always a struggle. Maybe death is easier. But when you are in charge of your choices, choosing sometimes it’s harder than we think.

“What do you mean you’re leaving?!” 

Alyssa, Lizzie and Josie are jogging in the park before heading to the hospital, since Alyssa decided endorphins are good and mood elevators; and they could use lots of that. 

“Lizzie, honey, I believe you just killed feminism.” Alyssa says. 

“Guys I need this! I mean we’ve been dating for weeks now and he’s a really good guy. And I realized...I want to have adventures. I want to travel. I don’t want to stay here forever.” 

“But how long? Lizzie, it’s your future we’re talking about. If you leave the internship what are you gonna do?” Josie asks.

“I’ll know when the time is right. For now, I just want to see how this goes. Please Jo, I need you to support me on this.” 

Josie stops running and faces her sister. “Of course I’ll support you Lizzie. I just want you to be happy, but I also don’t want you to regret your choice later.” 

“Which you probably will. Men are disappointing.” Alyssa says while stretching her legs.

“Alyssa?! Not helping.” Josie scolds her.

“Well, in that case you’ll be able to say I told you so.” 

Josie sighs and takes her sister’s hand. “Fine. But I’ll miss you.” 

Lizzie smiles softly. “I’ll miss you too.”

“Yeah, excuse me if I don’t cry, but I have no tears since I’m sweating all of them.” Alyssa says standing up and stretching her arms now.

“Oh don’t worry, tonight there’s my farewell party at the Mystic Grill, so all of you have to be there. So save your tears till then.” She points a finger staring at both girls with dead eyes. “And don’t tell Bennett.” 

Josie laughs. “How does that woman always know everything?” 

“We should go, shift starts in an hour.” Alyssa says checking on her watch.

But sometimes even with the best intentions, you can’t help but screw up and take the wrong turn. 

//

Josie is down into trauma examining a patient, still thinking about her sister leaving. It’s weird, thinking about not having her by her side every day and not being able to see her. 

She is the only family she has left, despite the fact that she has Jade and Landon at home, and then Alyssa, it wasn’t the same. 

She’s always been very protective of Lizzie, very much codependent. Maybe this was a chance to grow from that. It was also a chance for Lizzie to recover from their mother’s loss, since she was still worried about her sister’s possible relapse. But a change might be good for her. Maybe it’s for the best, right? 

“Okay Mr. Ross, you’re all good to go. I’ll call a nurse to discharge you, okay?” She smiles kindly at the man, who nods and thanks her for her help. 

As Josie walks to the bins to throw away her gloves, someone walks up to her. 

“Josette?” 

Despite all the years, Josie would recognize that voice anywhere with her eyes closed. She turns around with a small frown and a hint of anger starting to grow inside of her. 

Why was her dad standing there?

He smiles weakly, not really knowing how to approach her, but he tries. “Hi.” 

“What are you doing here?” 

It might seem rude and insensitive, but Josie has never been delicate when it comes to people who hurt her. Specifically her dad. She gets inevitably hostile.

“I..I needed to see you. To talk to you.” 

“Me?” Josie’s voice squeals a bit. “Have you been in hibernation or something? It’s been ten years.”

“I know, I know.” He lowers his head in embarrassment. “But I was hoping you could hear what I have to say.”

“I can’t, I’m busy.” She takes the pile of charts on the desk and gives him one last glance. “Don’t come here again. I don’t want Lizzie to see you and get upset.”  
She starts to walk away, but then he speaks again.

“Where’s your mother?” 

Josie has to keep herself from start screaming at him right there. How did he not know? Her mom was on every local paper for a whole week. 

“My mother?” She scoffs and presses her lips together in frustration. “My mother is gone. She died a month ago, and why am I surprised that you don’t even know about it? You’re a total stranger.” She bursts out.

His face was covered with a grimace of pain and confusion. “I’m-I’m so sorry...”

“Yeah, I get a lot of sorries these days.”  
She says angrily while trying to hold back her tears. 

She didn’t know this could be so painful. That seeing her father after ten years would make her feel so small and scared. 

“Go away.” 

She walks towards the elevator and starts pressing the button urgently. Once she’s inside, she starts feeling the walls closing up around her. Suddenly the air is too little and breathing seems to be too difficult. 

As she steps outside the elevator, she moves rapidly in the hallway to find somewhere to calm herself down.  
Her throat starts feeling dry and tighter. As she turns around the corner, she rushes into the first on call room and slams the door. 

But she didn’t see Hope walking right towards her and noticing her in distress. She instantly walks into the room, finding Josie sitting on the floor, desperately trying to breathe. 

She kneels down next to her and places a hand on Josie’s chest.

“Josie? What’s wrong?” 

“I can’t..” She tries to talk, but she keeps missing air. “I..can’t breathe.” 

“Look at me. Focus on the sound of my voice. Just focus on the sound of my voice. Breathe with me.” 

She keeps breathing heavily for a while, but then she slowly starts to calm down and her breathing goes almost back to normal. She meets Hope’s tender gaze again. And the girl doesn’t hesitate a moment to wipe a tear off of her cheek. 

“There. You’re okay.” She whispers, smiling softly at the brunette.

Josie closes her eyes and abandons her back against the wall, releasing one last heavy sigh. 

“What happened?” 

“My dad..” She pauses, her voice suddenly breaks. Her head filled with so many thoughts and fears. “He came here, wanting to talk to me.” She scoffs a laugh. “He didn’t even know my mom is dead.” Then she starts sobbing. 

Hope feels the need to take away all that pain from the girl, but then she thinks that she’s actually just another cause adding to the pile of Josie’s pain. And yet, she wants to free her from all this hurting.

“And Lizzie is leaving and I don’t know when or if she’s coming back.” She sniffs and tries to stop crying. “And I can’t do this by myself. But I also don’t want her to deal with this right now. I just want her to be happy. But I..” She sighs, while another silent tear falls down.

“You’re not alone. You have me.” Hope says softly. 

Josie turns her gaze to meet Hope’s, who’s tender and sweet, and she wants nothing more than rest her head on her shoulder and feel at peace for however long it takes. But they can’t. Josie can’t do that.

“No I don’t, Hope.” She whispers sadly. 

They’re so close, but both of them are too scared of crossing that line that was back up for Josie. 

“You’ll never lose me Josie, you know.” 

Josie stares at her for a moment, wanting to believe her, wanting to give in once again, but she doesn’t. She stands up and tries to compose herself again, wiping her face from tears, then she looks down at Hope, still sitting on the floor and looking up to her. 

“Thank you, for...helping me.” 

Hope smiles softly and doesn’t say anything. She watches the brunette leaving the room, feeling an overwhelming sadness taking over her.

//

Hope gets paged by Maya in the Natal Intensive Care Unit, where she’s going over the baby's chart, while Lizzie watches over the baby who is in a glass encasing.

“Where's the mother?” Hope asks as she walks in.

“Gone. She stuck around long enough to get the kid strung out and then took off. Nice, huh?” 

Hope sighs in frustration. “Maya! You told me you had a newborn with an invasive mash. You fail to mention that she's premature, underweight and addicted to narcotics. There's no way that this baby is going to survive spinal surgery.”

“You don't know that.”

“Even if she does, she'll just get meningitis seizures. She's going to live a short painful life! Do you really want to put this baby through all that?” 

“You don't know that. You're not God, Hope.” 

“I might not be God but at least I have common sense!”

Maya scoffs a laugh. “I'm sorry honey but no. You don't get to decide-“

“Don't call me honey!”

Meanwhile Lizzie is listening to their bickering and is trying hard not to laugh at how funny this is to her. She wonders why the girl didn’t sign the papers if she hated her wife this much.

“Look, if a patient has any chance at survival, which I think she does, then you have a responsibility.” Maya says.

“You’re one to talk.”

“Do you really think this is the place and the moment to talk about feelings, Hope? We went to therapy for that and you won’t say a word.”

“Well, maybe now I got inspired!” She bursts out.

Lizzie can swear she has never seen Hope Mikaelson this angry.

“You have to give her a chance, Hope. She needs someone to fight for her.” Maya says, this time looking almost tired of fighting her.

Hope hesitates for a moment, then her eyes fall on the baby again. “Fine. I’ll do it.” 

Maya looks at her genuinely relieved. “Thank you.” 

//

“Kelly Roche. She's 20 years old. In for a scheduled ETS for treatment of her erythrophobia hyperpyrexia. Meaning, she easily blushes.” Jade says presenting the case.

“Good. Do you have any questions about the procedure, Kelly?” Dr. Bennett asks.

“Oh, no. She, um, Dr. Montgomery already explained it to me...” She blushes. “Sorry...”

“Don’t be. It’s not the first time I make a girl blush.” Jade says smiling at her.

“Dr. Montgomery.” Dr. Bennett calls at her in a disapproving voice. Lizzie also seems to look at the girl in annoyance.

“What? It’s true.” 

The girl blushes again and then they leave the room. 

“H&H are stable. Chest x-rays show no acute process.” Lizzie tells Bennett.

“All right. Let’s book the O.R. then.” She says, then she walks away.

Lizzie turns to look at Jade who’s focused on the patient’s chart, but she knows she can get her attention with something. She tries to sound casual because it was not a big deal. It didn’t really matter. She was just...letting her know.

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” 

As she expected, Jade looks up at her in confusion.

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” 

“I decided to take some time away with Milton. Travel for a while.” 

“But..what about the internship?”

“I don’t know. For now, that’s what I want.” 

Jade looks still confused. Or is she hurt? 

“That’s what you want?” 

She looks firmly into her eyes. Lizzie feels like she’s trying to break her, but Lizzie is not that easy to break. When she says she doesn’t care, she doesn’t. 

“Yes. It’s what I want.” 

Jade nods in understanding and then looks away, clearing her throat. “Okay.” Her voice squeals a little.

“We’re meeting at the Grill tonight to celebrate before I leave, so if you’re free, you know where we are.”

“Cool. Okay.” 

They only keep staring for a while. 

“I have to prepare Kelly for the surgery. You should book the O.R.” Jade says. Then she walks away before Lizzie can say anything.

//

“She's stronger since this morning.” Maya says while the baby holds her finger. She smiles softly. “She's really beautiful, isn't she?”

“If she makes it through the night, if she‘s strong enough tomorrow, I'll operate.” Hope says. 

Maya smiles at the girl and then walks towards her. 

“Here’s what we could do. I could apologize. You could forgive me and come home and we could move on with our lives. Option 2, I could apologize. You could forgive me, come home but, you can still bring it up to use against me whenever we argue.”

“Is there an option 3?” 

“You choose her.”

_Her._

It feels like a cold shower. 

Hope lowers her gaze down the floor. Maya walks closer and raises her chin to face her, then places a chaste kiss on her lips. 

“I still love you, Hope. Give me a chance, too.” 

Then she walks away, leaving Hope standing there tired and confused. 

What she hadn’t noticed was that Josie had seen it all from the window, and the brunette wishes she never went down there to look for her sister in the first place.

//

When their shift was finally over, everyone went at the Mystic Grill to have drinks and “celebrate” Lizzie’s farewell. Josie is happy for her, but selfishly she wishes her sister wouldn’t leave. The only people genuinely happy for her seem Landon and Alyssa.

Well, Landon has motives. This will make his life way easier. 

Alyssa didn’t agree that much with her decision, but whatever. 

Josie suddenly gets out from her thoughts, frowning. “Where’s Jade?” 

“I don’t know.” Landon says. 

Alyssa raises the small glass of shot and everyone follows her. “To Lizzie, who’s giving up her career for a man.”

“Oh shut up, Chang. I’m not leaving forever, I’m coming back in a few months.” 

“Do your thing Lizzie, no rush.” Landon says taking a shot.

“Oh you wish, bird boy.“ 

“Josie, I think you’ve had enough.” Alyssa says taking away her tenth shot. 

“Alcohol is my only comfort right now.” 

“Give that to me.” Jade sits between Josie and Alyssa, taking down the shot all at once.

“Someone had a day.” Alyssa says.

“Why is that our lives are so similar?” Josie whispers to the blonde next to her.

“Oh please, don’t drag me down in your weird threesome mess. I have my own mess and it’s enough.” 

Josie rests her head on Jade’s shoulder and sighs sadly. 

“Josie, pull your shit together, okay? I can’t leave and worry about you maybe going to rehab because of Mikaelson.” 

“I hate her.”

Everyone at the table groans and roll their eyes. 

“Someone just take her home.” Lizzie pleads.

“I’ll take her. Come on Jo, let’s go.” Landon gets up and pulls up Josie from Jade’s shoulder, dragging her out of there. 

“I’ll go with them, I’ll keep an eye on her tonight. Don’t come back with a tropical disease.” Alyssa says patting on Lizzie’s shoulder.

She smiles and then Alyssa’s gone too. That leaves her alone with Jade. The last thing she expected from tonight. Actually, she didn’t expect the girl to show up at all, but she did. Lizzie felt somehow uncomfortable. She had moved on, but something was still not right between them. Maybe Jade hated her now. 

Lizzie kept stealing glances at the girl who stared firmly at the table and played with the glass in her hands, her expression tired. To break the silence, Lizzie tries to make small conversation.

“How did the surgery go today?” 

“Fine. Kelly was happy. Now she can be next to her crush without her face turning red.” 

Lizzie chuckles, then there is silence again. 

“I should probably go home, I have pre-rounds tomorrow.” 

Suddenly Lizzie’s gaze falls in disappointment. “Oh. Y-Yeah, you should go.” 

“Yeah.” Jade stops to adjust her jacket and looks at the girl still sitting by the table. “Goodbye Lizzie.” 

Lizzie doesn’t answer. And Jade doesn’t stay there long enough to hear that anyway. She walks outside the Grill, finally releasing a heavy sigh, then pulls out her car keys to open the door. 

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

She turns to her side and sees Lizzie standing a few feet from her. Jade opens her arms and then abandons them on her sides.

“What do you want me to say?” 

_“Something._ Anything...”

“Why?” She scoffs a laugh. “You’re leaving. Aren’t you happy?” 

“Was it true?” 

“Was what true, Lizzie?” 

“What Alyssa said. That you have feelings for me.” 

“Why are you asking me this now?” 

Jade feels tired. She’s tired of thinking that Lizzie hates her, that she wouldn’t even look at her, but then she wants to know about her feelings. 

What difference does it make? And why is she still silent? 

“What do you want, Lizzie? You‘re looking for a reason to stay?” She bursts out starting to grow impatient.

Lizzie keeps walking towards the girl, feeling irritated by Jade’s tone. “I want to know. Just tell me.”

Jade scoffs a laugh, smiling sadly while keeping her gaze down the street, not wanting to look Lizzie in the eyes when she would tell her. 

“Yeah.” Her voice comes out almost a whisper, as if saying it now feels scarier than usual, and it is. “That was true. But of course you didn’t believe it. Why would you ever think that someone like me might-“

Suddenly Jade’s lips are met with an urgent and deep kiss. She can’t move, because Lizzie holds her face in her hands. She can’t think, because all she feels is the intoxicating scent of Lizzie’s perfume and every part of her burning up in flames. 

She’s so taken aback, that she loses her balance for a moment and finds herself with her back against the car, while Lizzie keeps kissing her as if it’s the last time. And it kind of is. The thought crosses Jade’s mind, who suddenly feels the need to breathe, so she slowly pulls away, meeting Lizzie’s wishful eyes. It doesn’t take long for her to come back to reality and realize why Jade pulled away.

Jade looks firmly at her, out of breath. “You’re still leaving, right?” 

For a moment she thinks that Lizzie might be paralyzed because she doesn’t move or talk for about thirty seconds. But she’s almost sure she‘ll tell her she will stay. At least she hopes so.

“Y-yes.” 

Jade nods in understanding, trying to hide the obvious disappointment. She opens the door of her car and gives the blonde one last look before getting in.

“Bye Lizzie.” 

We usually pick the safest choice, even when the risk might be where our heart leads us. But we fight against it. 

As surgeons, reason is always the main guide. Doing everything by the book. Follow logic and science. It’s easier to apply those rules to your life. But what if that’s not where we really want to go?

Where does the heart go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More hosie next chapters. More angst. So many feelings.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s so funny seeing you all freak about about josie and landon

The best way to survive life it’s living in denial. Hearing the truth sometimes it’s worse than living without knowing. It’s better when you convince yourself that something is like you think it is. Living in denial protects you, it gives you a way to cope with reality. 

But how do you deny the obvious? 

Josie walks into the lobby and towards the elevator along with Jade and Landon, but as she looks who’s waiting for the same elevator, she tries to walk the other way.

“Um-I’ll take the stairs.”

Jade grabs her Josie’s and pulls her back, pushing her ahead. 

“You can’t avoid her forever. You have to work with her.” 

“She’s with Maya. I don’t want to share a small space with both of them.” She whispers angrily.

As the elevator doors open, Hope and Maya step in and as they turn around, Hope instantly locks her gaze with Josie. She gives her a small smile, while Josie is still standing outside with her breath stuck down her throat. 

“Are you coming in or not?” 

Maya’s voice is the most irritating thing Josie knows. She probably wouldn’t hate the girl so much if she wasn’t her ex’s wife, if she can even consider Hope her ex. But Hope apparently was still thinking about what she wanted, because she’s been talking and spending time with Maya quite often without the two of them getting on each other’s throat. 

Josie didn’t like it, of course. She would never think Hope could be happier with Maya. Maybe she was just being selfish, maybe she just wanted Hope all for herself, because she- cared about her, but that’s how it is.

Josie shakes her head and gets in, followed by Jade and Landon.

Jade takes a look at Hope behind them and then at Josie. Then she clears her throat and puts on a show.

“Jo, are you still up for that club tonight?”

Josie looks at her frowning in confusion, but judging by Jade’s look, she knew she was lying to play dirty in front of Hope. Josie didn’t really want to do this just to spite her, but then she thought it was worth a try. If Hope showed any hint of reaction, that meant something, right?

“Oh, sure. Is your friend you told me about still coming?”

“Yes she is.” Jade says smirking proudly. She takes another glance at Hope, who was staring at Josie’s back with a grimace of both pain and jealousy on her face, and the blonde couldn’t be more pleased.

“What you talking about? What club?” Landon asks confused.

“It’s only girls, Lan. Oh wait- that’s right, you can come.” Jade says with a wide playful smile.

“I thought that with Lizzie gone my life would be easier.” 

“You thought wrong baby.” 

As the elevator opens, Josie rushes out to walk to the locker room and change in her scrubs. She undresses quickly while she starts panicking with Jade.

“Now we have to go to a club tonight?!”

“Her face was precious. Oh God, you should’ve seen her.”

“Wait, so no club tonight? Can we get pizza then?”

“Sure, mommy will get you pizza, but then me and your other mommy are going clubbing.” Jade says leaning against the locker.

“I don’t know.” Josie says, feeling weirdly agitated and insecure about this. 

“Parker, you’re with me today. Montgomery and Kirby, you’re both in trauma. Move.” Bennett says. 

Josie sighs and catches up with her quickly, since apparently Bennett never waits for anybody. You either follow her, or she screams at you for being as slow as a snail.

They enter the patient’s room and Bennett introduces him to Josie.

“Dr. Parker, Jeremiah Tate. He thinks he knows so much cause he was one of my first patient's as an intern.”

“I knew as much as she did. She was clueless about how to treat cystic fibrosis. A simple cholecystectomy turned into a month-long stay.” He says smiling.

“How much pain are you feeling?” Bennett asks.

“A little. Um, I had some seizures.“

“Someone came here with your CT results?”

“Not yet.”

“All right then. We'll be back. With your results and a plan.” 

They walk outside the room and Josie stops Bennett for a question before she walks away.

“What about his parents?”

“He doesn’t want to worry them until he’s good enough or about to be discharged. But he knows very well about his condition. He just prefers living in denial, as we all do.” She gives her a pointed look and then walks away.

Was Josie living in denial, too? Should she stop believing there was any chance for her and Hope? That she could still choose her? 

Since her last breakup, Josie swore she would never put so much effort into something that would only slam the door to her face, but she believed that Hope was worth it. 

That they were worth it. 

Josie can’t have imagined all the moments, all the feelings. She can’t have felt it all alone. It was real. 

She didn’t want this to be real. This reality, with Hope back with her wife and Josie wounding her broken heart, sucked. 

She keeps moving back and forwards, both trying to be done with her and then feeling the need to go back to her.

She didn’t want to think they were really done.

//

“You're walking...you're talking...there's no exit wound. This mark here looks more like a burn.” Jade says examining the man’s head.

“I'm telling you, I shot my self. I pulled the trigger while I was cleaning my 22. I thought the clip was out. If you're thinking suicide, don't. People make mistakes. And now I'm paying for it.” He sighs. “But I did shoot myself.”

Jade eyes weirdly to Landon who looks just as incredulous as her. They don’t believe him.

“All right. We'll know everything when we finish his CT.” 

“Is there anyone we can call for you?” Landon asks.

“Oh actually my wife is already on the-“

“Samuel!” A woman bursts in panicking and rushing next to the man. 

“-way.” He sighs sadly. “Hi honey.”

“How stupid can you be to accidentally shoot yourself in the head?!” She shouts at him.

//

Jade is in the CT room looking at Samuel’s scans, while Landon is writing down the patient’s condition details.

“This guy really has a bullet in his head.” Jade says looking shocked at the scans.

Suddenly Hope walks into the room with a chart in her hands and glances at the scans.

“He's lucky. He'll need debridement of the entrance wound and repair the dura, but we won't need to remove the bullet.”

Jade and Landon only listen without saying anything or even look at her. Hope glances suspiciously at them, confused by their behavior. But then she gets it. 

“Kirby.” She says firmly.

Landon suddenly stirs up and clears his throat. “Yes ma’am.” 

“Prepare the O.R.” 

“Right away.” He quickly walks out like a little minion while Jade is still refusing to look at Hope. 

Hope narrows her eyes and crosses her arms on her chest. “I’m not half naked this time, Montgomery. You can look at me.” 

“Oh I know, but I realized that I don’t really like neurosurgeons.” She says frowning. “I mean, they fix brains. They’re supposed to have a good functioning one, right?” 

For the first time she meets Hope’s gaze, who is pointing sharply at the blonde. Jade gives her a fake smile and leaves the room. 

Normally she wouldn’t allow someone to talk to her this way, especially not a student, but she feels like she deserves it. 

She has been having this feeling of guilt for days now. Josie hated her and she wasn’t back with Maya either. It’s like she wishes she could save her marriage, but at the same time she can’t do it. Not only because of Josie, but because what Maya did still hurt too much. 

She keeps replaying that scene in her head each time she thinks of forgiving her. She sees Maya crawling in their bed with her best friend. The two people most important in her life betraying her before her eyes. 

Sometimes if she really stops thinking about it, she can recall every sorry and excuses that were said that night, but that she never really listened to, being too caught up in the shock and anger of the moment. 

Could she really try again with Maya?

Was she worth it?

There was a time where she wouldn’t even be asking herself this, but now she does. 

She had two options. It’s either trying again or nothing. 

And the hardest one to choose is always the scariest.

//

“Okay Jeremiah, we won't know for sure until we go in there, but it looks like that I'm going to have to take out your pancreas and re-route your intestines.” Maya says. “Your kidney function is decreasing rapidly and I'm afraid you're gonna go into multi-system organ failure if we don't operate.”

“So I can either die trying or not doing anything.” 

Maya and Bennett looks at him with an apologetic look. He sighs and nods slightly.

“All right. Maybe I should call my parents this time.” 

//

“Are we ready?” Hope asks Jade entering the OR. 

“Yes. I also talked to him and his wife and told them I had to report gunshot wound because you know, it’s the law, and the wife didn’t want me to.” She says narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

“Huh.” Hope says with the same look.

“Then I heard them screaming from across the hallway and apparently he cheated on her, so my guess is that his accident wasn’t an accident after all.”

“Why would he cover his wife after she shot him?” 

“Maybe for the same reason some people come back to their cheating wives. They lack of braincells.” Jade says to poke the neurosurgeon.

“Relationships are built on sacrifices.”

 _“Ah-_ that’s funny. No, really, coming from you? That’s funny.” Jade chuckles.

Hope rolls her eyes and sighs. “I got the message Montgomery, now cut it off, okay?” 

“So you would take a bullet from your wife and then cover for her?” 

“Montgomery, that’s enough!” She says raising her voice.

At that point Jade was satisfied enough with what she had got. 

“I’ll tell the police to come here for the statement, _boss._ ” She emphasizes. Then she walks away, leaving Hope standing there trying to pull herself together.

//

Josie, Maya and Bennett are in the OR preforming surgery on their patient.

“I need more traction. Dr. Parker?” Maya asks.

Josie does as she requests. 

“Now Parker, retract the duodenum.” Bennett says, and Josie does as instructed. “Good.”

“He’s shutting down.” Maya says as the machine starts beeping faster. “Try ventilating him manually, see if he starts coming back up.” She says to Bennett.

“Did we miss any bleeders?” 

“No, the surgical field is clear.” Maya says while trying not to panic.

“Agonal rhythm.” Josie says looking at the machine.

“Parker, start compressions.” Bennett orders, so Josie moves to the chest area.

“Come on. Come on.” Bennett says rushing her hands in the open body of the patient, meanwhile Maya and the other doctors had stopped moving. “What are you not doing?!”

“It's been ten minutes since we've had a perfusing rhythm.” Maya says sadly.

“Dr. Bennett...” Josie says.

Bennett keeps counting a few times more. She spends another minute trying to do something to save the man, but eventually she realizes there was nothing more she could do.

“Time of death: 18:26.”

//

Josie sits on a bed of the empty hallway, feeling exhausted from the entire day, only wanting it to end as soon as possible. 

Suddenly Jade joins her, literally jumping next to her, bumping against her shoulder. Josie groans in annoyance.

“Okay, I know I’ve been poking your mama all day, but what did I do to you?” Jade asks.

“Wha-“ Josie shakes her head and looks at Jade. “You did what?” 

“I tried to make her feel a little guilty.”

Josie sighs and abandons her head against the window behind them.

“Jade.” She says with a disapproving tone.

“I know, don’t thank me.”

“I’m not thanking you. Why don’t you just let her be?”

Jade frowns. “Because she hurt you. And you keep saying how you hate her and you won’t be here waiting for her even if she doesn’t choose Maya, but we both know that’s a lie. You want her to pick you. You want it so bad, yet you didn’t even put yourself as her option. And you’re right, because you shouldn’t be an option. I mean, between you and her, you beat the girl without saying. But here we are, she still hasn’t chosen and you keep being miserable.” 

Josie looks at her with her mouth slightly open in disbelief, feeling suddenly exposed with everything the girl has just said.

“I still don’t get how my sister could leave with a stranger while you’re right here.” 

Jade chuckles softly. “Are you having second thoughts about us?” She says leaning in.

Josie smiles back and pushes her away. “Fine. You’re right.” She sighs.

“Go. Tell her. Just one last time.” Jade says softly.

“Yeah. Okay, I’ll go.”

//

Hope is washing her hands after being done with her last surgery when suddenly Josie bursts into the room. Hope instantly misses a beat, a breath, everything. She instantly turns to her side to face the brunette, who seems intended to tell her something.

“Josie.” Is all she can say.

“I know what I said to you. That I won’t be here waiting for you. That I don’t want to be in this mess. But I can’t. I’m already too deep into this, more than I want to admit. And I’ve tried to back off, but I can’t.” She chuckles nervously. “Maybe now you don’t think of me as the right one for you, fine. I’m sure she was great to you in the past, maybe she still is, I don’t know. But I do know that I would give everything to make you happy.” She starts tearing up.

“Josie..” 

“No. Let me finish.” She sniffles and looks back at Hope. “I’m basically losing every last shred of dignity by standing here, almost begging you. So listen, you have a choice. It’s not her or nothing. It’s her or me. Because as much as I don’t want to, you still have me. I’m-“ She chuckles between tears. “-so yours, it physically hurts me when I’m not near you. And I tried to hate you, believe me I did. And it’s exhausting. But it’s just because the truth is that I love you. I do.” She starts crying, but she’s still trying not to lose it completely. “I love you, in a big, maybe cheesy and insanely addictive way. So choose me. Love me. Be with me.”

They stare intently into each other’s eyes for a moment. Josie notices the sparkle in Hope’s eyes and almost melts when the girl tries to reach her, but she pulls away. 

“If you do, I’ll be at the Grill until 11:00. If you don’t come, I’ll know what your choice is.”

Without giving Hope any time to speak, she runs out of the room and walks to the locker room. 

//

“If she doesn’t show up, we go clubbing and you have my permission to get drunk.” Jade says.

They’re sitting by the bar counter, Landon is also with them, looking closely at Josie and her sad face.

“What was I thinking? God.” She abandons her head in her hands. Landon caresses Josie’s back to reassure her.

“Come on, even if she doesn’t come, it’s her loss.”

Josie smiles softly at him. 

“You know, I don’t have an ex wife, but if I were to choose between you and her, I’d pick you.”

Josie chuckles. “You can’t say that for sure.” 

“I just did.” He smiles widely. 

“Landon...” She pauses. “I know you think I don’t see things, but I do.”

“Oh. You do? You- what do you see exactly?”

Josie gives him a pointed look. “You know what I mean. And I’m sorry but...” 

“That’s- what I was expecting.” He laughs nervously. “It’s fine. I see it now. We’re better off as buddies.” 

“You’re not mad at me?” 

“Of course not. Why would I? It’s not your fault you’re into neurosurgeons. Maybe if I become one...”

Josie playfully hits him with her elbow on his side. Both of them laugh, then silence falls between the two.

Josie looks at the empty chair next to her and frowns. “Where is Jade?” 

She looks around the bar and notices the blonde talking to a girl in the corner by the fireplace. 

“Really? She’s already flirting and we’re not even at the club yet.” 

Josie checks at the clock. _10:59._

She sighs and glances at the door. Then at her watch again. 

_11:00_

She keeps her eyes on the door for another minute or two, while thousands of thoughts run into her head, but then she releases a heavy breath and turns back around.

“She’s not coming, is she?” She says almost in a whisper. 

Suddenly Jade is behind her, placing her arm around Josie’s shoulder.

“Maybe we should go.” 

Josie sighs and nods. Then she grabs Landon’s drink and takes a long sip. 

“Fine, let’s get drunk and go get some.”

“Who are you?” Jade asks in shock. 

The three exit the bar and head to the club. 

It was not after too long that Hope walked into the bar, unfortunately late because she was held up for a last minute consult. But when she looked around her, Josie was already gone. 

In that moment, Hope felt that maybe she had lost her for real. Josie wouldn’t give her another chance to make it right. Maybe that was really it. 

What happens when you choose not to live in denial anymore? 

What happens when you face reality then? What if it disappoints you? Will you try to escape it or embrace it for how it is? 

Maybe trying to forget and drown your sorrows will seem the only way. Or maybe it’s just what will take to make everything worse.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oop-

A tongue is a weapon that can hurt you without making you bleed. Surgery is not required, but as a doctor, you probably wish you could do something about the dreading feeling of your heart breaking when words cut it open, careless of how fragile each part of you is.

If you get shot, your pain is momentarily and if everything goes well, you’ll soon be okay. The pain will be gone. 

But the pain caused by words stays longer. Sometimes it doesn’t go away. 

Josie opens her eyes slowly, feeling like someone is hitting her head with rocks, except no one was. The pounding headache makes her want to sink her face back into the pillow. 

She stays like that for a while, then she suddenly feels cold. Her body is half covered by the sheets and she’s almost sure she’s naked. 

Yes. She’s definitely naked. 

She licks her dry lips and groans at the bad taste left in her mouth, wondering what the hell she drank the night before. 

She opens her eyes and glances next to her, catching a hint of raven hair spread on the pillow and a very naked back. 

Why does it look so familiar? 

Josie gets up quietly, wrapping herself in the sheets and walks to the other side of the bed on her tiptoes. As she stops in her tracks and can finally see the girl’s face, she puts a hand on her mouth to keep herself from making any sudden noise. 

“Oh my God. Oh God...oh God, oh God.” She quickly walks out of the room and silently rushes into Jade’s room, who was not alone either. “Oh my God. Oh my God. Jade? Jade! Please, wake up. Jade!” She keeps shaking the blonde, who still doesn’t move for another full minute. Then she starts groaning in annoyance. 

“Jade, why is my ex girlfriend naked in my bed?!” Her voice squeals.

“How would I know? You slept with her, not me.” She mumbles still half asleep. 

Josie sighs in frustration and runs a hand through her hair. 

“This can’t be happening.” She looks back at Jade and slaps on her arm. The girl is now completely awake and facing the brunette, both of them looking at each other with a menacing face. “You’re the one that got me into this mess. Now you have to help me.”

“I don’t remember me getting into bed with the two of you. Oh wait-“ She widens her eyes and so does Josie. Then Jade bursts into laughter. 

“You think this is funny?!”

“Would you relax? So? You slept with your ex, no big deal, it happens.”

“I need to get out of here. I’ll...I’ll grab some of your clothes and I’ll sneak out early.” She starts digging in Jade’s drawers for some clothes.

“This is ridiculous, Jo.”

“I broke up with her for a reason, okay? This was such a mistake. Why would I ever do that?! Okay, I was drunk, but why her?!”

She’s now fully dressed and looking at herself in the mirror. Her hair still looks a mess, but she can’t think about it right now. She has to get out of the house without walking near her room. 

“Okay. I’m going now.”

Jade frowns and looks cautiously at the brunette. “Wait, are you wearing any panties?”

Josie gives her a pointed look and opens the door, while Jade widens her mouth in an amused smile, but before she can comment on that, Josie is already halfway the stairs and then out of the house.

//

“Josie, why would your drunk self pick your ex girlfriend out of everyone in that club?” Alyssa asks while tying up her shoes.

“Maybe we should ask her, how about that?” She says sarcastically. “Drunk Josie, are you there?” She asks to herself.

Alyssa scoffs and shakes her head in surrender. “You know what? Whatever. Is your ex worse than your current ex?” 

“Yes. I mean, she’s a Maya.” 

Alyssa chuckles. “She’s a Maya?! You mean she cheated on you?”

“Yeah, multiple times actually. Imagine where my dignity is right in this moment. Oh shoot, I almost forgot, it’s gone.”

“It was one time, all right? Maybe you won’t even see her again, let it go.” 

They walk out of the locker room. They’re half the hallway when Bennett calls at them.

“Chang! Parker! Multiple car crashes. Come with me.” 

“God, thank you.” Josie says. 

Alyssa looks at her amazed. That is not something Josie would say. 

“I mean...at least this will help me stop thinking about it.”

Alyssa frowns and shakes her head. “Yeah...still not okay.” 

They arrive into trauma and they’re assigned to their respective patients.

As Josie walks to her patient, she finds Hope and Jade examining him. 

“Page Ortho to look at his wrist and let CT know we're coming.” Hope says. Jade nods and does as she’s asked to.

“Marshall, I'm going to say three words to you, ok? And then I want you to repeat them back to Dr. Parker. Can you do that?” Hope asks. He nods. “Okay. Bat, orange, car. You think you can remember that?”

He tries but can’t remember anything. 

“Good. Okay. Here. He has a closed head injury. Watch for vomiting, confusion and loss of consciousness, okay?” Hope says, acting rather professionally. 

“All right.” Josie says, also professionally. 

Neither of them missed the way they looked at each other. Josie wondered why Hope would look at her with such disappointment when she was the one who didn’t choose her.  
It’s the first time she thinks about it since the night before and the realization hits her like a train. 

She shakes the thought away and tries to ignore the fact that Hope is still glancing at her while pretending to read the patient’s chart.

“Let me know when you get the CT report back.” Hope says coldly and walks away.

“Marshall...can you remember those words?” Josie asks him.

“What happened?”

Josie sighs sadly and walks to the CT room.

//

“Hey Wade! How are we doing?” Landon asks starting to examinate the wound.

“It fucking hurts! God, getting shot hurts so much!” 

“I bet it does buddy. Push morphine, 2mg.” Landon looks at the nurse, then at Jade, who walks up to him.

“Jade, I’m on this. I want a surgery today, so he’s mine.” 

“I’m on it with you, dumbass. Push morphine, 5mg.” She says to the nurse.

Jade looks behind her, finding herself almost surrounded by policemen.

“Who are these guys?” She whispers to Landon.

“The guy is a police officer.”

“Who shot you?” Jade asks the man.

“A guy pointed a gun at me and I just froze. My first month on the job and I got shot already, can you..believe it?” He can barely breathe and speak, but he still fights the pain. 

“If no one saw it, just say you didn’t freeze.” Jade whispers, making him chuckle in between the pain. 

//

Josie is in the hallway walking with scans in her hands when she meets Alyssa walking out of the ER. 

“Hey, what are you on?”

“A pregnant woman involved in the car crash. And I keep wondering why do I always get pregnant women in my cases.” 

“Oh. Um, so you’re with..”

“Mikaelson 2.0, yeah. But to be honest, she doesn’t seem very happy. She should be, right? Hope didn’t sign the divorce papers.” 

Josie sighs and shakes her head in denial. “I don’t know.”

“Well, you saw her not walking into the bar yesterday, which means she didn’t sign them.”

“I don’t know.” She repeats again. 

When they turn around the corner, Josie bumps into the same girl she tried to avoid in the morning, and suddenly her heart drops into her stomach. 

“Penelope!” She says surprised, her voice squeals.

The raven haired girl smiles softly and glances at both girls. “Hi Jojo. Um, I know you’re working but uh, I was hoping we could talk?”

“I- I should...um, who..who told you I worked here?” Josie says panicking.

“Oh, your roommate, I met her this morning.”

Josie takes a mental note to kill Jade as soon as she sees her.

She keeps nodding and smiling. “Right. Right. Um, look, I-“ Suddenly her eyes catch Hope walking right towards them, then she looks back at Penelope. “I really have to get back to work. And I don’t think we really need to talk about it.” 

At that point, Hope was standing right behind Penelope, looking at Josie with a frown.

“Josie, it’s not only about last night. I want to talk to you about us.” 

Hope’s face seems to show a hint of pain and the same look of disappointment she had noticed before. Josie hates herself for even being so good at reading Hope’s facial expressions. 

“Penelope, now it’s not the time.” 

“Parker, do you have the scans?” Suddenly Hope intervenes.

“Um, yes. I do. Here-“ Hope abruptly takes them from the brunette’s hands to take a look at it. 

“Did you get him a CT?” She asks Josie.

“Um, not yet, he-“

“What are you waiting for? Is your work keeping you from..” She glances at Penelope and then back at Josie. “whatever this is?” 

“No, of course not.” She instantly says.

“Okay, maybe I’ll just go. I’ll call you later.” Penelope says giving her one last glance and then walks away. 

Alyssa glances at the two girls almost scared of what was coming. Josie was still on edge, while Hope had a look that could easily kill.

“Okay, I should...go back to my patient. Bye.” She pats Josie on the shoulder and walks away. 

Hope scoffs a laugh and then starts walking. Josie frowns and then starts following her.

“What’s so funny?” 

“You’re unbelievable, Josie.”

The words came out so bitter that Josie almost feels guilty, even though she wasn’t guilty of anything. It’s not like she cheated on her. She shouldn’t feel guilty. If anything, she should be angry. 

Angry because Hope didn’t choose her.

“I am unbelievable?! What do you expect, Hope? That you choose Maya and I keep crying for you in a corner?” 

Hope suddenly stops and looks at the brunette in confusion, then she turns around again and keeps walking until they’re outside on the stairwell. “I chose Maya? When did I choose Maya?” 

Josie’s face drops in confusion too.

“Last night. You didn’t show up.”

“I did show up. I was late. You weren’t there. But you didn’t lose time, did you? You went right back to your ex girlfriend.” She bursts out.

“I was drunk! I don’t even know how that happened!”

“So you admit it. You had sex with her.” Hope says, that hurt look back on her face.

Josie keeps silent. She presses her lips together nervously and closes her eyes. 

Hope scoffs a laugh. “Well that was fast. One moment you’re telling me you love me and the next you’re screwing your ex. I didn’t think you were that easy, but why am I surprised?” 

Josie suddenly looks at her with fire in her eyes and next thing she knows, she slaps Hope in the face. 

A dreading and cold silence falls in the air. When Hope’s gaze meets Josie’s again, the brunette is almost crying. 

“You don’t get to tell me that. You don’t get to make me feel guilty, because you are the one who screwed up in the first place. I waited for you..” Her voice breaks for a moment, “-but you didn’t come. I was sad, heartbroken and tired of waiting for you. And I decided that I’m done making excuses for you. You..broke what we had. You did this. And you don’t get to judge me for how I try to get over you.” 

Hope’s lips slightly tremble. She nods and looks down at her feet before looking up and face Josie again.

“So this is it. We’re done.” She says in a small voice.

“Yes..we are.” 

Hope nods in understanding and then gives Josie one last look before walking away. “Fine.” 

Josie suddenly feels the need to sit down, so she abandons herself on the stairs and rests her head on her knees. 

Hope went to the bar. 

Does it mean she chose her? That she signed the divorce papers? 

Maybe if she waited a few minutes more, they wouldn’t be where they are right now. 

Or maybe there just isn’t a right time for them.

//

Jade, Landon and their patient Wade are in the elevator to get to the OR when suddenly the elevator stops. 

“What’s happening?” Wade says panicking.

"If elevator should stop, do not become alarmed. Press the button marked alarm to summon the assistance." Landon reads on the door.

“How- how can I not be alarmed when the same button is called alarm?!” Wade shouts. Then he starts moaning in pain.

“Hey! What’s wrong?” Landon asks.

Jade takes his pulse. “Pressure is falling. Landon, we need to get him to the OR now.”

Landon keeps walking back and forwards and pressing all the buttons, then kicking the doors. “Don’t you think I know that?!” 

“Okay, I have a bullet in my chest and I’m pretty sure I’ll be dead within a minute.” Wade says.

“Please don’t say that.” Landon runs a hand through his hair panicking.

“Landon you’re a freaking doctor, don’t panic! He’s already panicking!” Jade whispers angrily at him. 

“The emergency phone doesn’t work.” Landon says dropping the phone against the wall.

“Someone is gonna get us out.” 

Suddenly they hear a voice calling from the outside.

“Kirby! Montgomery! Are you in there?!” 

“Yes! Dr. Williams! We’re here!” 

After a few moments the doors partially open, revealing Bennett, Williams and a guard looking from up to down. They were stuck in between floors.

“Can’t you open them more?!” Bennett shouts at the guard.

“No, it’s jammed.”

“Okay, you two, what’s his blood pressure?” Dr. Williams asks.

“It’s not reading. He’s too agitated.” Landon says.

“Do you have any instruments?”

“Uh, just a code box and some gloves.” Jade says. Bennett rolls her eyes.

“It’s not like we planned to be stuck in here!” Jade shouts at her.

“Someone get me an instrument tray!” Williams shouts to the nurses.

Bennett points a finger at Jade. “I swear Montgomery, once you’re out-“ 

“Enough!” Williams shouts. “Intubate him. You have to open up his chest.” 

Both the two interns and Bennett were shook at the statement.

“Dorian, are you sure about this?” Bennett asks him.

“No.” 

He passes the instruments down to the elevator.

“Oh God, we’re really doing this.” Landon says.

“Scalpel.” Williams instruct them from outside.” 

“Okay. Okay. Don’t freeze. Don’t freeze.” Landon places the scalpel on Wade’s chest and makes a deep cut, while Jade keeps ventilating him.

“Okay, now what do I do?” Landon asks.

“Make a large anterior, lateral, mid-auxiliary incision in the 5th intercostal space. As long as possible. You need to get your hands in there.” Williams instructs him.

“Okay. Okay.” He breathes heavily.

“Check for injuries and do a pericardiotomy.” 

“Okay so, uh, I'll need some lap pads, forceps, Metzenbaums and Satinksy clamps.” 

Williams smiles impressed. “Yes. You will.”

“I've removed the small clot from the pericardium. No obvious cardiac injuries.”

“Now you need to cross clamp the aorta. You done? Good. Now stick your hand in and bluntly dissect down until you feel 2 tube-like structures. The esophagus will be more medial and anterior.”

Landon sticks his hands in Wade’s chest, trying to reach the aorta. 

“I got it! I think the bleeding is coming from the inferior vena cava.”

“Can you find the lesion?”

“Yes! I have it, it’s...it’s small.” 

“Okay, I want you to put your finger on the hole and keep it there.” 

“What?! I have to keep my finger in his heart?!” He shouts.

“Until we can get you out! Hang in there.”

//

“Dr. Parker, patient Marshall Stone is gone.” A nurse tells Josie panicking.

“What do you mean gone?! He was here two seconds ago!” 

“We looked all over the hospital...”

“Well keep looking! I’m- I’m going to look into trauma. Maybe he‘s trying to get out from the back.”

Josie starts running through the corridors, looking all around her, hoping to find the missing patient. Something she knows for sure is that Hope will definitely kill her for this, so she has to find him before Hope finds out about this.

Or not.

While she turns around the corner she bumps right into Hope. 

“Where are you running to? Did you get the CT for Mr. Stone?”

“Um..yeah I- about that..he..he’s missing.” She says, afraid of the girl’s reaction.

“Missing?” Hope scoffs a laugh. “How do you lose a patient, Josie?” 

“I was going to get him, but when I went there he was just gone!”

“Of course he would try to escape, because he’s the one who could be charged with murder! He got a pregnant woman in surgery and she could not make it!” 

Josie breathes heavily and shakes her hands in the air to calm down. “Okay, what do I do? Do I warn security?” 

“Anna!” Hope calls at the nurse. “Call security immediately. Tell them to check all the exits.” Then she turns her eyes back to Josie. “This is your fault. You had one job. You should know how to leave your private life out of these walls, you know, so maybe you can avoid making mistakes like this.”

Josie scoffs, feeling almost hurt. But she can’t help it. Every angry word Hope says feels like a punch in the face every time. It’s probably the worst feeling she’s ever had to bear with.

“You know, coming from you, that sounds kind of hypocrite.” She bursts back.

“I never let my private life meddle with my job.”

“Oh no? So when you left New Orleans just because your wife cheated on you, that wasn’t because of your private life? Or when you called me out in the OR in front of everyone, that wasn’t our private life, was it?” She says stepping closer to the girl. “You’re a hypocrite, Hope.”

Hope keeps her lips pressed together while her eyes wander from Josie’s eyes to her lips, a lump in her throat almost prevents her from breathing and speak.

“Go back to work, Dr. Parker.” The words come out with difficulty. 

She can barely find the strength to tell Josie to walk away from her. She never wanted this. She wanted her. But now Josie looks at her with both anger and the same pain Hope has in her eyes.

“Did you really sign the papers?” Josie’s voice cracks, feeling on the edge of tears again.

Hope takes a while to answer. She doesn’t want her voice to break and make it look like she’s in real pain.

“Yes.” She pauses, focusing on Josie’s teary eyes. “But that doesn’t matter now. Because we’re done.” 

Sometimes we make some decisions thinking that’s what’s best for us. Maybe it’s because we’re too proud, or because we’re too hurt. 

Maybe we just need some time, or maybe it just isn’t worth fighting for. 

How do you know when to let go?

//

Hope steps in the elevator and is soon followed by Bennett, who walks as if she’s in a hurry. She can’t help but notice how nice she looks.

“Look at you, all dressed up. I’m not used to seeing you without scrubs.” Hope says. “Do you have a date?” She asks smiling.

“Yes, with my husband.”

Hope looks surprised. “Husband? Since when?”

“Um, 10 years? Your aunt Freya was at my wedding, Mikaelson.”

“Exactly, my aunt, not me.” 

Bennett exhales deeply. “Well, his name is Enzo. Today is our anniversary.”

“Ohh, that’s so cute.” She says with a tender voice. “Until it isn’t.” She says with a more serious tone. Bennett smirks.

“You still haven’t signed the divorce papers?”

“Oh no I, um, I did.” 

The elevator doors open and both of them step out in the lobby.

“Then why don’t you seem happy about it?” 

Hope smiles sadly. “Have a good evening, Dr. Bennett.” 

Bennett gives her one last sympathetic smile and then Hope walks away. 

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you don’t get what you want. Sometimes it feels like you just keep missing it.

The right time. The right person. 

Does that even exist? Is that all part of our illusion?

//

Josie sighs. “I don’t know Lizzie, I’ve never hated myself more.” 

“Hey, listen to me, you can fix it Jo. Every person with eyes can see that she cares about you more than you think. She would forgive you in a heartbeat.” 

Josie turns to her side and abandons her head in the pillow, while holding the phone to her free ear. 

“What if I just have to let go? I mean..we’ve been doing this for months. And something always gets in the way. This time it was me.” 

“But you love her, Josie.”

Josie stays silent for a while. “Yeah, but she never said it back.” Her tone saddens at the realization. Lizzie keeps quiet too on the other side of the phone for a while, feeling helpless for her sister. 

Suddenly the door opens, revealing Jade with a slice of pizza in her hand.

“Hey Jo, pizza’s here. Alyssa is downstairs too, come down when you’re done.” 

“With onions?”

Jade chuckles. “Yes. It’s not like you have to kiss someone tonight. Come on, you have to hear about Landon’s heroic move. He’s been bragging about it all day.” She gives her one last smile and closes the door.

“Was..was that Jade?” Lizzie asks in a small voice.

“Um, yeah, that was her.”

“Oh. How..how is she?”

“Oh, good. She’s..all right. I think she has an actual date with someone for the first time this week.”

“Oh that’s good. That’s good.” 

Josie frowns, doubtful about her sister’s tone. She doesn’t know if she should dare to ask, but maybe she’ll just do it without being intrusive.

“How are you? Is it nice there?”

“Oh yeah! It’s amazing. We went scuba diving today. It was the best thing ever.” 

Josie smiles softly. “I’m glad you’re doing okay.” She pauses. “I miss you though.”

“I miss you too. Next time I call you, please have good news for me, okay?” 

“Have you met me? And my life?” 

Lizzie chuckles. “Bye Josie.” 

“Bye.” 

Josie gets downstairs but before she can walk into the kitchen, the doorbell rings. She walks backwards and opens the door, freezing on the doorstep as she faces the girl in front of her. 

“Penelope.”

Or life just keeps throwing signs at you, that you’re not able to catch.


	18. Chapter 18

“Hey. Um, I know I told you I would call, but I figured I would just...come here.” 

Josie just stares at her unable to say anything for a few seconds, then she pulls herself out of her thoughts.

“Right. Um...you wanted to talk.” 

“Is this a bad time?” 

_Kind of always._

“Oh no. We can talk...here.” She steps outside and closes the door behind her, wrapping her arms around herself nervously, but mostly for the breeze that made her skin shiver. 

After a few minutes of awkward silence and both of them just standing there, Penelope decided to speak.

“Look, I know that you probably regret what happened last night, but I don’t. I mean, I know I hurt you in the past-“

“Multiple times.” Josie adds.

“Right.” Penelope scoffs a nervous chuckle. “But I also know that I haven’t loved anyone after you, Jojo. And to me, that counts for something.”

Josie frowns and shakes her head in confusion. “Okay, what are you trying to say?”

Penelope steps towards her and takes Josie’s hand by surprise. Josie looks at her with eyes wide open, not really sure about where this is going.

“Let’s try again.” 

Josie laughs nervously and pulls away. “All right, um, look Pen...I just got out of something really messy and I don’t think I can do this right now.”

“So you’re telling me last night was just a coincidence to you?” She walks closer again. “What if it’s the world’s way to tell you that you should give us another chance?” 

Josie closes her eyes trying not to let the words get in, refusing to even consider on the possibility of that happening. She still wasn’t over Hope. Hell, she doesn’t know if she’ll ever get over her. Maybe that sounds dramatic, but it is how it is. She’s not ready for this.

“I’m sorry, Penelope...”

Suddenly Penelope’s lips are on hers, her hands are on her hips, bringing their bodies closer together, and Josie doesn’t know how to react for a moment, but then she pulls away. 

“What..what are you doing?” She says out of breath.

“If you want it to be a distraction, I can be just a distraction.” Penelope asks staring intensively into her eyes. 

Josie freezes again. Then her mind goes blank. 

//

“Okay Josie, you don’t fall in bed with your ex a second time by accident.” Alyssa says slamming the locker. 

“Look, Hope hates me, okay? And I have to get over her. We would’ve never worked and you know it.”

“And you think getting back with your cheating ex is the solution to all your problems?”

“She just needs a distraction, Lyss. If Penelope is not the one, she’ll know when the time is right.” Jade says.

“Okay, guys, I’m not back with Penelope.”

“Oh no, you just had sex twice with her.” Alyssa says sarcastically.

“And she’s coming over tonight.” Jade states.

Alyssa gives Josie a pointed look. 

“Okay fine! I don’t know what I’m doing! But you know what I know? That Hope and I don’t stand a chance. It’s just too complicated. It will never be the right time for us, so be it.” She defends herself.

They walk out of the locker room to start their morning routine, before Bennett calls to assign them for the new cases. 

Meanwhile Hope steps out of the elevator walking side by side with Maya, heading for the attendings locker room. 

“I had a good time last night. I was..surprised that you called me, to be honest.” Maya says smiling softly.

Hope returns a weak smile. “I know, it was weird. I probably should-“

“No, don’t even think that. Yes, you signed the papers. But you still haven’t sent them to the lawyer, have you?” She asks hopeful. 

“Uh, no, not yet.” 

Maya smiles again and places a hand on Hope’s chest. “We can make this work, Hope. Trust me.”

Hope nods and gives her a small smile, then they keep walking to the locker room. 

Hope was starting to think that it was kind of hard, constantly living in her head, with her thoughts and doubts and struggles, unable to talk to anyone about how she’s feeling. About how confused she is. How hurt she feels. 

She doesn’t know if trying again with Maya is what she really wants. She also doesn’t want to do this again just because things with Josie went wrong. She wants to want this and maybe forcing herself to want it can be the way to do it. 

No one said it would be the right way.

But she needs to get her life in order. Or better, her feelings in order. And she didn’t want to give Maya another chance before, but the girl seemed willing to really try. And Hope needed someone who wouldn’t run away. Who was willing to fight for her. Wait for her as long as it takes. And Maya was willing to do that. She always was. 

So maybe, their marriage deserved another chance. And she was going to give them that.

//

Josie is in the storage room to pick up meds and instruments for the tray in the hallway. It’s so dark that she can’t see past her fingers, yet she digs between the shelves and the boxes to get bandages, syringes and other meds. When she tries to climb the shelves to get on top, she slips and falls down, bumping her forehead against one of the shelves, then hitting with her butt right on the floor.

“Dear..God!” She groans in pain while holds her forehead in her hand. “Ugh.” 

Suddenly the door bursts open and someone instantly notices her on the floor.

“Josie? What are you doing here?” Landon walks in and slowly picks her up from the floor. 

“I was..trying to get these.” She shows him the gloves in her hands.

“Well you did it, but now you have a big bump here.” He says looking closely at her. Josie groans in pain again. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Come on. Let’s put some ice on it before it gets swollen.” 

They exit the room and walk to the doctors common room. Landon opens the freezer and gets a bag of frozen peas for her. “The only thing I could find.”

“Thank you.” She says. 

“You seem off today.” Landon says sitting in front of her. “Wanna talk about it?”

She sighs and drops the bag on the table. “No. I just want this day to be over already.” 

Landon takes the bag and places it back on her head. “Go through this day and keep doing so until you feel like it’s not that hard anymore.”

“When will that be?” 

He smiles. “Maybe when you free yourself of all your exes.” 

“Thank you, very helpful.”

“Hey, I almost got killed this morning. There’s worse.”

“How?!” 

“A big guy fell from five floors and almost landed on me.”

Josie chuckles and then groans in pain, feeling a headache kicking. 

“Hide from Mikaelson till you can, I need to go to Bennett.” He places a kiss on her head and leaves the room. 

Josie sighs and looks at the bag in her hands. “I hate it here.” 

//

Hope walks in her patient’s room, finding both Maya and their common friend in there. Hope’s rested face instantly changes into a wide smile.

“Jane! You’re in Mystic Falls?! Why are you here?” 

“Well, it wasn’t really planned.” 

“How are you? How is your dad? Is he still beating my dad to their boardgames night?” 

Jane chuckles. “I think so. Your dad has been an angel lately, really. With everything that happened with my mom...”

“What..what happened with your mom?” Hope asks confused.

“Her mom died a month ago.” Maya says sadly.

“Jane..I’m so sorry. I didn’t know..how?”

“You know, her cancer gene.” The woman says sadly.

“BRACA.”

“She resulted positive to the test.” Maya tells Hope.

“So that’s why I’m here. I couldn’t go through this without you two.”

“Jane...you don’t have cancer.” Maya says.

“But I don’t want to risk it. I want to remove my ovaries and uterus. And then you’ll find the best surgeon to cut off my breasts.” 

“You really thought this through, didn’t you?” Hope asks her with a sympathetic look.

“Yeah. So please, just...support me on this. Please?” Jane says holding Maya’s hand and glancing at both girls, who gives her a reassuring smile and nods in understanding.

//

“A pigeon saved my life.” Landon says looking at the man’s back with a mashed pigeon on it. 

“We need to widen this incision to take a better look.” Alyssa says.

“Are these..claws?”

“Claws.” They say at the same time. “Yes.” Alyssa adds.

“Mr. Vargas, your lower left leg bones are shattered. We need to get you into surgery.” Dr. Bennett says.

“This is just my lucky day.” The man sighs.

Landon frowns. “Dude, we’re both still alive, this is a lucky day! And you have minor injuries, for all I know, medically speaking, you should be dead!” 

“Can someone get him out of here?” The man asks annoyed. 

“Kirby, prep the OR.”

“You don’t understand, I could’ve been that pigeon. The pigeon saved us both.” He keeps telling the man.

“Maybe you should just start worshipping birds.” Alyssa says. 

Landon sighs and glances at all of them. Before he walks out of the room he stops in his tracks in front of the tray and takes one of the claws in his hand. 

“Can..can I keep it?” Landon whispers to Alyssa.

“Ew, gross. Get out of here Lan.” 

//

Josie is bandaging Jane’s arm after an injection. Hope is there pretending to be focused on Jane and her chart, trying to ignore the fact that Josie was in the room.

“You have a look.” Jane tells Josie, capturing her attention.

“Me? What look?” She asks oblivious.

“You’re thinking about the kids I won’t be able to have. I get it. That was my first thought too, but there are other ways, you know.”

Josie smiles apologetically. “Of course. But um..I think it’s very brave, what you’re doing.” 

“Thank you.”

“Plus, they do excellent implants in reconstruction these days. You won't even know the difference. And- you'll never have to wear a bra again. That's something right?” 

Jane starts chuckling while Hope hides a small smile from the back of the room, staring at the brunette’s smile from afar. 

She feels like a pinch in her chest. It almost hurts. Then it quickly goes away when Maya walks in.

“I scheduled the mastectomy Jane, we’ll do the surgery tomorrow.” 

“Thank you Maya. Thanks to both of you.” She says looking at her friends. 

Josie starts slowly walking out of the room, suddenly feeling like it was too much for her to see, hoping that none of them noticed her sneaking away.

//

“I think Lizzie was right, we have to seize the day. Maybe I have to change my life.” Landon says looking really thoughtful in front of his food.

“Dude, you’ve lost it.” Jade says with her mouth full.

Josie sits at the table with her food and keeps her eyes on the plate, while Jade and Alyssa study her closely.

“What happened to your head?”

“Are you turning into a unicorn?” Jade asks.

Josie gives her a fake amused look and puts some fries in her mouth. “I hope you choke on that sandwich.” 

“Woah, easy Jo. Today is about being grateful, right Landon?” 

Landon gives her an annoyed look while both Jade and Alyssa share an amused smile. 

Suddenly Josie gets paged. “Well, I guess my break is over.” She sighs and walks away.

Josie keeps walking to the elevator and when the doors open, she sees Hope with her back against the wall. As soon as she sees Josie, she suddenly straightens her posture and then looks away again.

Josie gets in and turns her back on the neurosurgeon to avoid any visual contact. Not looking at Hope makes things easier. It’s less painful.

“What happened to your head?” Hope suddenly asks with a soft voice. Josie feels shivers on her skin at the simple sweet sound of her voice. It’s pathetic.

She closes her eyes and pretends she didn’t hear her. But then Hope walks past her and suddenly she’s facing her. Hope brushes her fingers on Josie’s visible bump on her forehead, making Josie flinch at the touch.

“You should put something on that.” 

Josie keeps quiet and trying to avoid Hope’s gaze.

“Josie? I’m talking to you.” 

“W-why? Why are you talking to me now?”

“Because I want us to be at least civil.”

“Civil?” She scoffs a laugh. “Did you forget what you insinuated during one of our last conversations?”

Hope sighs and looks at her with those sad and sorry blue eyes. Josie thinks she could trick anyone with that look.

“I’m sorry, okay? I..I didn’t mean that. I was just upset.”

“That’s not an apology, that’s you justifying yourself.”

Hope steps closer, making Josie stepping back as consequence. “I’m deeply, truly sorry.” 

Josie keeps staring at her for a few moments, then she clears her throat and looks away. “Fine. I accept your apologies.” 

Suddenly the doors open and Maya is standing on the other side. Hope instantly turns her back on Josie and Maya places herself next to Hope. 

“What time should I be ready?” Maya asks Hope.

“Um, I think half an hour at least. Reservation is at nine.” She says checking her watch.

“Okay, great.” 

As the doors burst open, both Maya and Hope suddenly disappear in the hallway, while Josie stays frozen in place for a moment, trying to process what she just heard.

In the same moment. Alyssa walks in and notices Josie looking like a ghost.

“Josie? Are you okay?”

“They’re...they’re trying again.” She says, feeling the pain invading her just as she says it out loud.

“Hey.” Alyssa shakes her. “You’re meeting Penelope tonight, remember?” 

Josie’s frown instantly disappears; she nods in understanding. “Right. I’m seeing Penelope. This...I don’t care about this.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I don’t.” She says one more time.

They walk into the locker room to get changed after the long day and head for a few drinks before going home.

“My patient was actually trying to kill himself.” Landon says walking into the room.

“Did you think a bird pushed him?” Jade asks with a frown.

”At least surgery went well.” He says. “What are you guys doing now?” He looks at Jade and Josie.

“Alyssa and I are going out for drinks, Josie is heading home to see Penelope.”

“Maybe I’ll ask Wade for a drink.”

“Wade? The guy you saved by putting your finger in his hole?” Alyssa says giggling.

“In his heart-hole! God, this is why I need more guy friends.”

“Did you say gay??” Jade says placing a hand around her ear as to hear clearer. 

Alyssa laughs along with her while Landon rolls his eyes and goes to get changed.

Josie gets up and takes her purse. “Penelope is waiting for me. I’ll see you at home.” She tells Jade.

”Just get laid babe, it fixes everything.” 

_Or not._

Josie heads out of the room and calls for the elevator once again. She would never dream of taking the stairs in that huge place, so she basically moves in there all the time. 

When the doors open, there’s Hope again, this time properly dressed. Josie thinks she’s beautiful. So beautiful, it hurts to look at her.

She doesn’t face her, instead she focuses on the door in front of her, almost holding her breath. 

Hope looks at her, and even if she’s not able to face her, she still feels that strong pull that makes her want Josie. It’s not a whim, it’s not just sexual; it’s deeper than that. She feels like not being able to talk to Josie, to be with Josie, touch her, hear her laugh, see her smiling at her, would be the worst way of living. 

“I miss you.” 

Hope’s voice hits like a truck behind her back. Josie feels like she could pass out at any moment. The need to touch her, to kiss her and give in comes back stronger for a moment, but then it goes away almost like a reflex. 

She closes her eyes and keeps looking in front of her. She’s glad when the doors finally open.

But before she walks away, she turns to face Hope. “You’re doing the right thing with her. You two...deserve to give each other another chance.” 

“You really think so?” 

Josie forces a smile. “Yeah.” She stares at the auburn aired girl for a few moments more. “Goodbye Hope.” 

Then she walks away, because it’s what she does best with Hope. And she hates doing it every time, but it comes easier. 

Sometimes it’s best to walk away, to avoid conflict, to avoid confrontation. Sometimes we walk away because we act like cowards. Sometimes we walk away because it’s wise to do so. It takes courage to walk away from something, someone.

Even if you don’t want to give up, sometimes you just do. You need to draw a line. If it’s meant to be, everything will eventually come back to you. If it’s not, no matter how hard you try, will never be. 

When is it really right to walk away? Is it always right? Maybe everything needs time to heal. Maybe we’re made for different paths. You just have to wait and see if the path you take will take you back where you’re meant to be, or lead you further away. 

Maybe we just have to let things happen on their own. We just have to hope something good will come out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing this story I keep picturing Hope taller than Josie, does it make sense? idk


	19. Chapter 19

Some people say ‘Don’t be afraid to start over, it’s a chance to build something better this time.’ Well, starting over might seem not so easy at first, but then if you refuse to take your chances, you might end up just being miserable for life. 

Taking chances is good. New beginnings are good, as are new relationships. During your lifetime you’ll have to go through the wrong relationships just to prepare yourself for the right one, so you’re allowed to make mistakes, if you’re not in the O.R.

“You’re really thinking about asking her to move in?” Alyssa asks perplexed.

“Yes, I mean we’ve been dating for three months now and things have been good, maybe I should take this big step you know.” Josie says, then she stuffs her mouth with a bite of her muffin. 

“Don’t you think it’s a little rushed?” 

“It’s not a little rushed.” Jade says.

“Oh sure, says the one who has sex with her date before even getting to the dinner part.” Alyssa says.

“So? I do things in reverse and it works quite good for me.” 

“Josie, I really think you should be living with me instead of her. She’s bad for you.”

Josie chuckles while Jade puts an arm around Josie’s shoulder and walks past Alyssa. “Listen, you have to give it a try. You’re doing this for yourself. If you think she’s worthy of your trust again, then let her move in.”

“Being in a relationship made you wiser.” Josie says.

“I know right? Most of what I say it’s because Wendy teaches me.” 

“Then it’s Wendy I have to thank.”

They step into the elevator which is crowded with other doctors.

“You’re such an ungrateful roommate.” Jade says narrowing her eyes.

“Well, I guess we can triple date soon. I’ve got a date tonight.” Alyssa says without meeting their gazes.

“Really?! Who is he?!” 

“It’s trauma guy.” Josie says.

“Wait, Jed trauma guy?!“ 

“He’s so good! He jumps in every trauma case and makes it look so natural. He was in the army until a few months ago.” Alyssa says.

Jade raises her eyebrows. “Oh well, then _I am_ the bad one. You two are the ones bad for each other. Now you’re dating an attending too?!” Jade whispers harshly.

“I’m not answering that.” Alyssa says. 

“She’s right for a change.” Josie frowns, “Maybe I am bad for all of you.” 

“Whatever, at least none of us will cry anymore, because we are in a solid relationship and Alyssa will soon be, hopefully.” 

“Hopefully?” Alyssa asks.

“Well, if you don’t scare him away talking about guts and hearts all the time.”

“Then tell me teacher, should I start from third base?” Alyssa asks sarcastically.

“See? You’re a fast learner.” Jade pats on her shoulder and then walks out of the elevator, rushing to the locker room.

//

“Holden McKee brought in from Mayfield Nursing Home.” Bennett says. “His chart says he fell into a persistent vegetative state 16 years ago.”

Josie takes the chart and keeps reading. “He was a firefighter. Injured by falling debris in the line of duty. He’s here for a checkout because he fell while being turned by orderlies.”

“Okay. What do you think about this Parker?”

“Temporal parietal scalp lace with associated hematoma. Plan would be to irrigate and explore the wound. Repair the lac. He'll need a CT to rule out intra-cerebral hemorrhage, contusion or cerebral edema.”

“Dear lord, you really are your mother’s daughter.” Bennett says amazed, but she instantly regrets saying it. She never praise interns and judging by Josie’s face, she’s surprised to hear that herself. Bennett clears her throat and acts professional again. “Pretend I never said that.”

Josie nods frantically. “Yes ma’am.” 

When Bennett leaves the room, she lets out a small smile and goes back to her patient.

“Okay, let’s take a look at you. I wonder what dreams are you in. How peaceful you look.” She says while she looks into his hematoma. “Should I become a vegetable to experience this kind of peace?” She asks to herself.

Suddenly the man opens his eyes and looks directly at Josie, who lets out a loud scream and jumps backwards for a moment. 

“Oh my God. You’re awake. You’re awake! I have to call Bennett.” 

She runs out of the room and enters trauma room where Bennett is treating another patient.

“Dr. Bennett?” She says out of breath.

“What, Parker?”

“My PVS case. He opened his eyes. And I think he was looking at me.”

“No he wasn’t.” 

“I swear he was. He..he stared at me for like five seconds.”

Bennett sighs. “Then get a CT and asks for neuro consult. But he wasn’t looking at you, trust me.”

//

Alyssa is in line at the hospital cafeteria when someone approaches her.

“Alyssa? Hi.”

She turns around and instantly smiles. “Jed! What are you doing here?”

“Um, getting coffee.” He laughs nervously.

“Oh, right. This is...the only cafeteria.” She says, realizing how stupid she sounded.

“Yeah. So, um, date night, huh?”

“Yeah! Oh. You wanna cancel?”

“Oh! No, of course not. I was just...you know, I’m- excited. Do you wanna cancel?”

“Oh no. No, no.” She giggles nervously. “We’re still on.”

“Good.” The bartender places his cup on the counter and he grabs it. “So, um, I’ll see you tonight.” 

“You betcha!” She smiles until he turns around and he’s not looking at her anymore.

She sighs and frowns at herself for being so awkward, then she suddenly jumps when someone takes her by surprise.

 _“You betcha?!”_ Jade says looking at her with a disgusted frown. “That was so painful to watch, seriously.”

“Don’t do that.” 

“You try not to do _that_ tonight. Should we use spy earpiece so I can suggest you what to say?” 

“Oh please, I wouldn’t be able to start dinner if I spoke your mind.”

“Hey! I am a romantic. Come on, we’ll meet in the locker room at lunch. I’ll bring Josie. You bring dresses.” 

Alyssa sighs and takes her coffe. “Fine.”

//

Josie asks a nurse where she can find Hope for the consult and she feels slightly annoyed because of that. She had managed to avoid Hope for the past months and even when she was assigned to Maya for the day, she got through it without her former feelings getting in the way. 

But she still feels a hint of distress hitting her whenever she has to see or exchange words with the beautiful neurosurgeon. 

When she finally finds her, Hope is in the common room with her hands digging in her locker. As she hears someone else is in the room, she glances at Josie standing by the door.

“Parker, do you need something?” She says with her eyes still focused in the locker.

“Um, I need a neuro consult.” She hands Hope the patient’s files and she takes a look at it.

“No bleed, no mass, no fracture. He can be discharged.” Hope simply says.

“Yeah, but he opened his eyes and looked at me.”

“That was probably just a reflex. It’s normal. He wasn’t aware.” 

“But he was. He looked directly at me.” She insists.

Hope smiles amused. “No he wasn’t.”

Josie starts growing irritated. “Yes he was.”

“CT report says he wasn’t.” Hope argues back.

She hands back the files to Josie, who’s looking at her in annoyance.

“You weren’t there. I know what I saw.”

Hope starts walking away but Josie instantly turns around and grabs Hope’s wrist to stop her. Hope looks at her in confusion, while Josie’s angry look is replaced with an apologetic and nervous one. She quickly lets go of Hope’s wrist and looks away clearing her throat.

“I’m..I’m sorry. It was..a reflex.” She says in a small voice.

Hope can’t help but smile. “A reflex.”

Josie meets her eyes and nods softly. “Y-yeah.”

Hope nods in understanding. Her expression softens a little, as it always does whenever the brunette approaches her. No matter how hard Hope tries, she can’t act coldly towards her. 

“So, he looked at you?” 

“Yes.”

“All right.” 

They stay silent for a while, Hope keeps looking at Josie who’s desperately trying to avoid her gaze, because they would end up staring at each other, and that alone is enough to fuck up her braincells.

“How are you?” Hope suddenly asks.

“I’m-I’m good. How are you?”

“Good.”

More silence fills the room.

“How is it going with your..um,” Hope wants to finish the sentence, but she honestly doesn’t know how to.

“Oh. Penelope? We’re good. She’s great. She, um, she’s moving in soon.”

_Why would you say that?_

_Fuck._

Hope’s face freezes for a moment, but she can’t certainly show disappointment, can she? She’s back with Maya now. She’s moved on. 

“Oh, I’m- happy for you. That’s a good thing. That’s good.”

“Yeah..it is, um,” Josie wraps her arms around herself as she always does when a conversation becomes too much. “well I guess we should go now. He’s on the fourth floor...”

“Yeah, sure. Let’s go.”

When they arrive in the patient’s room, Hope starts examining the man with a small flashlight, while Josie silently watch on the other side of the bed.

“There's no sustained visual pursuit. You might have just seen him respond to some sort of external stimuli. He wasn't looking at you. I'm sorry.”

“I was sure he was.” Josie keeps looking at the man, who suddenly looks at her again. “Look! He did it again.”

Hope keeps passing the flashlight on his eyes, but they are still. Hope gives her a sorry look.

“Okay..so..”

Suddenly Hope notices that he was indeed moving his eyes, but he was only responding when Josie spoke.

“Josie, move here next to me.” Hope suggests.

The thought of standing too much close to Hope wasn’t really appealing, or maybe it just made her too nervous, but she had no choice. “Oh, okay.”

As she does, they both notice the man following Josie’s movements and voice.

“Let’s do some x-rays and see what they missed.” Hope says.

//

“They’re both really nice.” Josie says looking at Alyssa, who’s trying on her dresses.

“The point is to choose one, Josie.” Jade says.

Alyssa holds a black dress and a white one in two hands, while she’s wearing a pink one on top of her scrubs. She places the black one on top and looks at herself in the mirror, then the white one. Then she turns around and does the same in front of Jade and Josie.

“Definitely not the pink one.” Jade says.

“Why not?” Landon asks suddenly getting out of the bathroom.

“Because she looks like a fancy sweet box.” Jade states.

Alyssa takes off the pink dress and quickly puts on the black one. Josie whistles in approval.

“That’s hot.” Landon says.

“Hey, you’re not allowed to make comments.” Jade points a finger at him.

“Maybe this date is a mistake.” Alyssa says panicking.

“It’s easy to get nervous on dates. It's especially hard if you're out of practice so you just got be mellow...” 

“Why am I getting dating advices from him?” 

“Come on, Landon gives pretty good advices actually.” Josie says.

“So when I hear whispers at night coming from his room it’s you and him talking about girls?” Jade asks with a frown.

“Mostly.” Both of them answer at the same time. 

“Maybe he won’t even like me.” 

“Of course he will like you.” Josie reassures her. “Just be yourself. It worked with me.”

“You’re my best friend, Josie, not the guy I want to date. I have to be my best self.”

“Oh you have a...?” Landon stops talking as soon as the girls turn to look at him and he suddenly feels frightened, so he just nods in understanding and starts walking away. “I hear Bennett is calling me. I should..I should go. Bye.” And then he’s gone. 

“So how are things with Hope? Still awkward?” Alyssa asks while getting undressed again.

“I don’t think so. I mean she did ask me about Penelope-“

 _“Ohh.”_ Jade says emphasizing.

“What?”

“She still cares, Josie.”

Josie scoffs and shakes her head in denial. “No she doesn’t. She was just...checking in?”

“She would sure like to check in, in your house.” Jade says, then she puts more chips in her mouth. 

“Preferably your room.” Alyssa adds.

“Guys, come on. I’m with Penelope and she’s back with Maya. Maybe this is how it was supposed to be. Maybe that’s the reason why Hope and I had to happen.” 

“You mean so you both could go back to your cheating exes?” Alyssa says frowning. Jade tries to hold back a laugh.

Josie sighs in annoyance and gets up. “You guys should support me on this.”

”I do support you. I carry you to bed every time you fall asleep on the couch.” Jade says.

“Okay, that’s it. I hate you.” Josie walks out while Jade keeps laughing and Alyssa gives her a pointed look.

//

“Well that's why there's no mention of brain atrophy in the CT report. Cause there isn't any.” Hope days looking at the x-ray.

“None? He's been PVS for 16 years.”

“Well, he's not. He's minimally conscious.”

“He's minimally conscious and no-one noticed?”

“Had he been in a state of the art neural facility they'd have tested him but...He was in a regular nursing home so they just..missed it.”

“I can’t believe I wished I could be like him.” Josie whispers to herself, but Hope hears her frowns in confusion. “You what?”

“Um, nothing. I just...nothing. So what do we do now?”

“We might wake him up.” 

Josie returns a small smile. And for just a moment, she forgets that for all this time she had been hating the girl standing in front of her, just to get over her. 

//

Josie walks outside to the lunch tables where Penelope said she would be. 

“Hey! What are you doing here?”

“I figured I could surprise you. There were no puppies to take care of today, so..here I am.” She smiles.

Josie sits in front of her and returns a shy smile. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Remember when we used to have lunch together everyday in med school?” 

“Yeah, I remember. You would always bring my food since I always forgot.” 

“Exactly.” Suddenly she takes out a plastic container with food in it and hands it to Josie, who smiles appreciating the gesture.

“Thank you. I am starving a little bit.” 

“I figured.”

Meanwhile Jade and Landon are sitting on the other side of the terrace, looking at the two of them interacting.

“Why would you approve of Penelope moving in with us? Lizzie would burn the house down if she knew.”

“Well, Lizzie is not here, is she? And Josie can’t keep being stuck on Mikaelson’s carousel.”

“I know, that’s what I told her too, but...this feels wrong too. I don’t feel like she’s listening to her heart, you know.” 

“I agree, but how can she trust Mikaelson after everything? No matter what her heart wants, going back there it’s maybe not the best for her.”

“Oh God, there’s Hope. Wait..is she? She’s going over there.” Landon says perplexed.

“She won’t, she will turn around and walk away.”

“She’s thinking about it. No, she will definitely go over there. I bet fifty dollars.”

Jade looks at him with narrow eyes. “Okay, fifty dollars guy, be ready to pay.” 

“She’s going.”

“She’s not.”

“Yes she is. Look..look. Yes!” 

Suddenly Josie sees a figure approaching her and as she looks up, she sees Hope leaning over the table with a forced smile. Josie almost chokes on her food but luckily she’s able to recover rather quickly.

“Hi.” Hope says looking at Penelope and then at Josie. 

“Dr. Mikaelson, do you need me with something?”

“Yeah, um, sorry to interrupt but we should go talk to Mr. Holden’s family.”

“Oh, um, okay. Can I at least finish this?” 

“I’m sorry, you can’t. You know how breaks are.” She says, actually not sorry at all. 

“Okay...”

“It’s okay, go. I’ll see you at home.” Penelope says placing a hand over Josie’s, which Hope doesn’t miss. 

Penelope places a chaste kiss on Josie’s lips and then walks away, while Josie presses her lips together nervously and squeezes her eyes, almost scared to turn around and face Hope after the awkward moment. Maybe she should be mad at Hope for being so rude, but does she really want to make a scene after so long they’ve been doing so good?

If not talking to each other at all might be considered good.

When she finally does, she doesn’t look at her, instead she moves rather quickly so she can walk past the auburn haired girl, while Hope follows her. 

“Pay up, Montgomery.” Landon says leaning his open hand to Jade.

She scoffs and pulls out fifty dollars from her pocket and slams it in his palm. “Not a word about this to anyone.” 

“That you’re no good at betting? Oh don’t worry, it’ll be our dirty little secret.”

Jade gives him disgusted look and pushes him away. “The only dirty there’ll ever be between us is your blood on my hands. Now go away before I open you up.” 

//

Hope and Josie walk to the man’s family to tell them about his recovery, even though things don’t really go as planned.

“Well, over the years your husband's brain has been slowly trying to heal itself. Now we've given him a course of amphetamine that should give his brain the push it needs to find consciousness.” Hope explains to his wife.

“Is he gonna realize what happened?” His son asks.

“Most patients in this situation have no idea how much time has passed.”

“Oh god.” The woman says placing a hand on her chest. “I just got married. We're having a baby in December. And Coby turns 17 on Thursday. It took us years to get over this. And this will be a shock to him. He doesn’t deserve this. I can’t...”

“Mrs. Leonard...” Josie places a hand on her shoulder and tries to calm her down.

“He’s gonna wake up and find out I didn’t wait for him. When in truth, I did. He’s..he’s going to feel betrayed anyway. Because to me it was 16 years, for him it might seem like five minutes.”

Josie instantly feels a knot in her stomach and suddenly her eyes moves to Hope, who was already eyeing her with a sad look. This was kind of putting things in perspective, and that feeling of guilt suddenly hit her again after a long time. 

The woman walks out of the room, while her son follows to get her back. Josie just stands there for a while, without meeting Hope’s gaze, until she’s sure that the girl is not looking at her anymore and she’s finally gone. 

//

Alyssa and Jed are sitting at the restaurant having dinner. The first half hour had passed by rather quickly. Alyssa felt a little awkward at first, but as Jed started leading the conversation, she was glad he didn’t mind talking about surgery and medical stuff rather than question her about her personal life. 

She doesn’t think she would be comfortable with sharing such personal facts on her first date to a mere stranger, but she has a nice feeling about this.

While she’s all caught up in her thoughts, Jed asks her something that brings her attention back to the date.

“Do you want dessert?”

“Oh no, I’m okay. Maybe we should get going though, I have an early morning.” She says looking at the time.

“Oh right. You can’t piss off Bennett.” He chuckles. 

Suddenly someone next to their table collapses. 

“Oh my God!”

Both Jed and Alyssa share a look and instantly jump next to the man laying on the floor. 

“We’re doctors!” Alyssa says while examining the man.

“Call 911.” Jed tells the waitress.

“Pulse is rapid and unequal.” Alyssa says.

“Look at the length of his fingers. He’s at least 6 foot tall.” Jed says showing her his hands. They share a look and they instantly knew. “Marfan’s syndrome.”They say in unison.

Suddenly the paramedics enter the room and they put the man on the tray to take him to the hospital, meanwhile Alyssa explains what he needs.

“We need a CT cleared and an O.R ready.” Alyssa says.

The paramedics start wheeling the guy out of the restaurant.

“Start another large boar IV. Continue high flow O2. Transport him sirens and lights to Mystic Falls Hospital.” Jed adds.  
“We’ll be right behind you.”

//

“We did the right thing. Medically.” Hope says stepping next to Josie, watching the sunset from the big window of the hospital. 

“Yeah. I'm sure he'll thank us later.”

Hope glances at the brunette before moving her gaze back at the sunset.

“Josie...”

“It’s sad. And there’s no one to blame. I mean, she thought it was over for them. She thought she had lost him. And she tried to move on, as she should have. Except him. And it’s not easy to...move on.” Josie says lowering her head on the rails with sadness.

Hope keeps looking at her despite the fact that Josie won’t. She exhales deeply.

“No, it’s not.” 

Josie eventually raises her head and turns to her side to meet Hope’s gaze, who’s looking at her with tenderness mixed with sadness, and Josie can almost feel it in her veins. 

“What?” 

Hope slightly shakes her head and lets out a small sad smile. “Nothing. I’m just...looking at you.” 

They stay like that for a while, staring at each other in silence. Josie wondering if Hope was still drawn to her like Holden was. Wondering if she was the one who really screwed up and didn’t wait for her long enough. 

How much time is the right amount of time to wait for someone? 

Was she maybe too desperate to move on? 

Is it better now? 

She began again. She moved on. At least she thinks she has. Hope has too. 

But then why does it feel like they could fit together so perfectly, yet they can’t?

//

“I can’t believe Dr. Williams let me put the bypass! I mean, I basically did the surgery myself! Did you see that?!” Alyssa says in excitement while exiting the OR. Jed looks at her amazed and with a proud smile.

“You were amazing. I’m glad I could see you in action so up close.”

Alyssa smiles softly and sighs. “So you’re not bored by my obsession for my job?”

“How could I be? It’s our job. And to be honest, this was the best date I’ve had in a while. And you can’t say otherwise either.”

Alyssa chuckles. “No, I can’t. It really was something. I’m really glad we did this.” 

They stare at each other for a while, just smiling and appreciating the happiness of the moment. 

“Me too.” He says softly. “So..I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess.”

“Yes, you will.” 

“Cool. Then, um, Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight.”

He starts walking away but after a few steps he just stops and hesitates about walking back or just keep walking away. Alyssa looks at him with curiosity, but then he decides to walk back and kiss her gently, catching the girl by surprise. 

“Now Goodnight.” He says, then he walks away for real, leaving her standing there with a bright smile on her face.

//

“Come here Arlo, hi baby baby.” Josie pets the dog in her lap. 

“How did it go today?” Landon says.

Josie glances at him and then Jade, who sitting right next to him and pretending to be focused on her food, then she focuses back on Arlo. “It was fine, why do you ask?” 

“Just checking in.” 

Josie smiles. “Guys, I’m fine, really.”

“We...just think that you might have unresolved questions.” Landon says hesitantly.

Josie frowns. “What?” 

“Have you thought about why you keep falling back into...kind of toxic relationships?” Landon asks.

That question seems to freak Josie out even more. She never thought that through, actually she never even realized that her relationships had been so bad for her and caused her even more trust issues.

Her story with Penelope in the past had not been good. There was a time she had trusted the girl, but then that trust ended up screwing her over. Now, she feels like no matter how different things are, there might still be no future for them. Or if there is, what kind of future? Even her story with Hope, which seemed to be great at first, had turned out into something bad and painful. 

Maybe Landon’s concern made sense. Maybe there was more to it that even Josie couldn’t tell, because she never dug deep into it. 

Suddenly the door opens and Alyssa walks into the living room.

“Soo...how did it go?” Josie asks with a wide smile.

“It was really good. At some point someone collapsed at the table next to us, we rushed him to the hospital and I performed a bypass surgery all by myself!” She says still excited.

Jade frowns. “This must be some twisted Chang version of porn I didn’t know about, right?”

Josie slaps the blonde on the shoulder. “Come on! This is good! I’ve never seen you so happy and soft.” Josie says looking at her friend.

“Well, I never had a date that looked like the ones I fantasize about.” 

“See? It’s her kind of porn, told ya.”

In that moment, the doorbell rang and Jade slowly got up to walk at the door. Meanwhile she kept hearing the distant voices of the girls still talking.

“So, tell me, did you kiss?”

Jade casually opens the door without even looking, figuring it must be Penelope, but as she catches a glimpse of blonde hair with the corner of her eyes, she freezes on the spot.

“Lizzie.” 

Lizzie herself is glued to the floor outside, a bag on her shoulder and a case in her hand. Suddenly the air feels chilly, and everything that was buried and forgotten, was not.

Lizzie’s face is just as shocked. She was probably naive to think that her sister might be the one opening the door. “Hi.” 

“You’re..you’re back.” Jade says taking in what she was looking at. 

“Yeah.” 

Maybe talking about new beginnings and taking new chances is just something we try to do to jump into something else that is not the same circle we’ve been living in for far too long. 

It’s a way to tell ourselves to stop. 

But sometimes, we just can’t. Or we just fall back in eventually.

What if we just prefer to run back in circle? 

What if second chances, are different from how we pictured them to be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be quite interesting


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find out who Mark is

Thanksgiving is all about gratitude, appreciation, giving thanks for what you have. It means happiness. 

At least, you’re supposed to be happy. 

Josie walks downstairs ready to go out and leave for work, but she also tries desperately not to make any sound. Just as she’s about to open the door, a voice scares her.

“What are you doing?” Penelope is on the stairs still half asleep, she rubs her eyes and tries to look at Josie. 

The brunette gestures her to keep her voice down. “Shh, it’s nothing. I’m going to work. Go back to sleep.”

“Why are you whispering?” 

“Because she’s a horrible person, that’s why.” Jade says. 

Josie suddenly jumps and looks at Jade, who’s giving her an angry look and is holding a spatula in her hand. 

“I told you I needed help to cook today. You said you were going to take the day off!” She yells upset.

“I know, okay!? Look, I’ll just come back earlier to help you finish, I really can’t miss today.” 

“But it’s Thanksgiving!” Jade says with a pout. And Jade never pouts. Which means, Josie is really upsetting her. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She places her hands on the girl’s arm. “Penelope and Lizzie can help you.”

“Penelope and Lizzie can’t even be in the same room together. Lizzie tried to punch her as she saw her here the first time!”

“Luckily I have good reflexes.” Penelope says. “Plus, I couldn’t even if I wanted to, gotta work half the day.”

“Seriously Josie, she should sneak out before Lizzie sees her. I couldn’t handle it by myself.”

“Pen please, you and Lizzie must try to get along.” Josie says in exasperation.

“It’s impossible to get along with her, Josie. Your sister has always been like that, you know it.” 

Josie hates the fact that since Lizzie came back she had been reminiscing one of the past reasons why things between her and Penelope didn’t go well. It’s not that she blames her sister, because she knows Lizzie has a certain attitude with everyone, but neither of the girls ever even tried to like each other in the past.

And since Penelope cheated on Josie, now Lizzie had one more reason to dislike-hate-the girl. 

“I can’t do this right now. Just...just get Lizzie to help you.”

Jade gives her a pointed look.

“Oh come on Jade, she’s been here for two weeks now. Stop avoiding her. You two live together.”

“Not if I move out first.” 

“What?! What are you talking about? No. _No._ ” She emphasizes. “You can’t move out. Listen, we’re going to talk about this when I get back.” She places a kiss on her cheek and rushes to the door. She sends Penelope a kiss and walks out. “See you tonight!” 

Jade closes her eyes and sighs sadly. 

Or maybe, it’s just a day like any others. 

//

Hope is sitting at the open bar of the hospital, determined not to rush into the day and relax before starting her morning rounds. She takes a bite of her favorite beignet and turns around the next page of the medical paper she’s reading. 

She always tries to stay informed with the newest research and experimental studies. She dreams about starting a study of her own one day, like she has always dreamed since she started studying to become a neurosurgeon.

“Hey, here you are.” Maya says sitting in front of her. Then she hands her a cup of coffee. “Here, maybe you’d like a refill.”

Hope smiles. “I do, actually. Thank you.”

“So, what are we doing tonight?”

Hope raises her eyebrows. “I don’t know. I didn’t really think about today since we’re going home for Christmas.”

“Then maybe we can arrange something last minute. And, um, maybe we could...have sex tonight.” 

Hope chockes on her coffee and spills it all over her magazine. She clears her throat and cleans up her lips. “Um, Maya...”

“I know, it’s the first time since...”

“Rafael.” Hope says coldly.

“And Josie.” She points out. 

And Hope suddenly feels cornered, her thoughts going to the brunette; a sense of sadness hitting her.

“But we have to take this other step, don’t you think?”

“Okay, um, Maya...I have patients to check up on.” Hope says standing up and collecting her things. 

“We could order sushi? Or Mexican? Remember that one Thanksgiving when we had to study for biology exam, so we decided to order Mexican and the sauces just kept falling all over the books?” She says smiling happily at the memory.

Hope smiles back. “Yeah, those were...really good times. Okay. I’ll see you at 6.” 

She was right not wanting to rush into that day, because now she wanted nothing more than this day to never come to an end. 

//

“Good morning Dr. Bennett.” Josie says with a wide smile. 

“You escaped your house because of Thanksgiving?” Bennett says perceptively.

“Oh well, I have a few things to be grateful for. Others, not so much.” She sighs, still trying to catch her breath from the ran from the locker room.

“I started liking Thanksgiving since I met my husband. But usually it only brings out so much family drama, childhood rage and traumas. Family starts fighting during dinner. It’s just a trap and everyone gets hurt.” 

Josie frowns. “Well, that’s one way to put it.” She sighs, hoping that was not the case for her.

“But at least we have surgeries, so it’s a good day indeed.”

“I..thought you meant people got _emotionally_ hurt.” She says frowning.

“Oh no, they get hurt literally. Last year I got a guy with a knife sticked into his shoulder.” 

“Wha- who did that?!”

“His lover showed up at his thanksgiving dinner as a friend, then she found out he had a girlfriend.”

“Oh God.” 

“Dr. Bennett! Trauma coming!” A nurse at the desk says.

“Come on Parker, let’s get our turkeys for the day.”

//

Lizzie gets down in the kitchen, finding only Jade focused on baking and cooking the rest of the food for the dinner. 

“Where is everyone?” 

Only then Jade notices the blonde’s presence. She glances at her for a moment and then goes back to stuff her cake. 

“Landon’s with his family. Penelope is at work and is coming back for dinner, just like your sweet sister who bailed on me when she was supposed to help me.” 

“Oh, um, I could help. If..you need me.” Lizzie says hesitantly.

“Um, sure. Can..can you chop those for me?” She points at the vegetables on the counter. Lizzie nods and walks over there. “Thank you.” 

“Who else is coming tonight?” 

“Um, just Alyssa and Jed. And...Wendy.” 

“Oh, cool.” She clears her throat. “Okay.” Then she keeps chopping the vegetables. 

A few hours pass in silence, as if there was a mutual agreement between the two not allowing them to speak to each other. It’s weird, how easy it seems not to burst out and say something, anything. 

But the day was still long.

//

Josie never thought she would take this step, but after talking to her sister and Landon, she figured that speaking her mind out loud with someone who would be objective and professional, maybe could be the way for her to really deal and overcome these unresolved feelings that she had.

Because she did have them, there’s no point in denying it. 

She trusts that this will help clearing her mind, that she will be able to look ahead without carrying the past with her. 

That’s why she’s sitting in her new therapist office, and she’s been rambling non-stop for half an hour.

“I just don’t get it, we were amazing together. We were happy, we connected, but then she decided to go back to her wife as soon as she saw me trying to move on. And then _she_ has the audacity to get mad at me? She moved on pretty quickly too. This proves that she’s the kind of girl that would adjust for anything. I don’t want someone like that. Uh-huh, I’m not the kind of girl that goes back to her...”

Josie suddenly stops rambling, meeting her therapist’s pointed look. She clears her throat, feeling embarrassed, and crosses her legs together, sitting more comfortably on the couch.

“Josie, you two have been adjusting to whatever you have, especially you. Because you are too scared.”

Josie scoffs a laugh and crosses her arms on her chest defensively. “So I’m a coward now? Wha..what about her? Is she not a coward, too?”

“Hope was struggling to decide if it was right or not to end her marriage for you, and even though you told her you love her-“

 _“Loved her.”_ She states.

Emma sighs. “-as soon as you saw a chance to get out of that mess, you took it. First you tell you love her, then you ran away faster than you could. You can’t blame her for trying at this point. You took your one night stand with your ex and jumped back in your old relationship just to have an easy way out.” 

Josie scoffs. “What?!” She yells. “I...that’s not true!”

“Yes it is. Deep down you know that this isn’t what you really want, but you won’t admit it to yourself because you think you can get over her this way.”

Josie keeps silent for a moment, a pout on her face. 

“Penelope is not an easy way out.” 

“It is, Josie. You’re not in love with her, are you? You’re with her so that you won’t feel lonely, maybe waiting for her to screw things up again. That way you will have someone else to blame again. And maybe you’ll find yourself back in Hope’s arms again.”

Josie lowers her head and plays with her fingers, still quiet.

“You’re not moving on, Josie. You’re just filling a void. And it’s not healthy, what you’re doing to yourself and to Hope.”

Josie raises her head and looks at Emma with anger. “I’m not doing anything to Hope! She’s not the victim here!” 

“So you are?”

Josie freezes with her mouth half open. “...No? No. Of course I’m not. No, wait! I am, okay?! She never said she loved me back, so maybe she’s just acting hurt, but in truth she’s living a beautiful life with her annoyingly beautiful wife. And I’m the one that’s left with a mess inside.” 

“Josie, it’s not all about you.”

“Now you’re telling me I’m self-centered?!” She gets up and slaps her hands on her sides. “That’s it, we’re not doing this anymore.” 

Without saying a word more, she walks out of the office and slams the door behind her.

//

When the doorbell rings Jade rushes out of the kitchen to see who that could be. It’s almost like she was hoping someone could come and save her from that excruciating awkwardness, and luckily someone did.

“Alyssa, you’re here!” She says with maybe too much excitement.

“Yes. And don’t be so clingy about it, you’re weirding me out.” 

Both Alyssa and Jed step in and Jade grabs the girl to take off her coat. 

“Josie dumped me. And now I’m cooking dinner by myself. I mean, with Lizzie.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yes, _Oh._ ” She sighs. “Jed, do you know how to cook?” Jade asks nicely. 

“Sure, I took a few cooking classes before joining the army. You never know when cooking can come in handy.” 

Both girls soften and look at him in adoration. “Is there at least one thing wrong with you?” Jade asks.

“I’m afraid not.” He chuckles.

“Go ahead. Go. We’ll be there in a minute.” Jade smiles and pushes him ahead. Then she turns back to Alyssa, still agitated. 

“Okay, Jade, you have to calm down. Why are you freaking out?”

“Well, um, there’s something I never told you guys.” 

“What?”

She takes a deep breath and shakes her hands in the air. “Okay. The night before Lizzie left...we kissed. I mean, she kissed me first, but that was it.”

Alyssa widens her eyes in surprise. “And you two never talked about it?”

“Why should we talk about it?” She chuckles nervously. “I mean, I’m in a relationship now. Like, a real relationship. She was in a relationship too until two weeks ago.” 

“Yeah but they broke up, Jade. Aren’t you wondering why?” 

“Wh-why? Do you know something?” She asks with an urgent curiosity.

“No, I don’t. Maybe you should ask Josie. Or, oh wait- maybe ask Lizzie!” She says pointing the obvious.

“None of you is useful to me today.” Jade sighs and decides to drop it for now. She walks back to the kitchen, soon followed by Alyssa. 

//

Josie rushes to the elevators and quickly calls both of them. After a few seconds, one finally arrives. When the doors open, she finds herself face to face with Hope. 

“Hi.” They say at the same time. 

Josie stands next the neurosurgeon and clears her throat, jumping nervously on the spot.

“You seem excited.” Hope says unable to keep from smiling at the brunette.

“I had two surgeries this morning. I can’t believe Jade wanted to keep me home for cooking. God, I love this feeling.”

Hope chuckles amused. “Yeah, it looks good on you.”

Josie’s cheeks turn suddenly red, but she tries to keep it cool and pretend that was just an innocent statement; then she glances at Hope. “Um...what about you? Are you avoiding dinner too?”

“Kind of, yeah.” 

“Huh, I thought the Mikaelsons had their whole tradition.” 

Hope smiles softly. “Not tonight. I’m going back home for Christmas. I’m...staying with Maya tonight.” 

Suddenly Josie’s smile fades. “Oh. Right.” 

Hope keeps glancing at her, while Josie does everything in her power to avoid the girl’s gaze, as always, until she can’t take it anymore.

Maybe she’s still upset about her therapy session, or maybe she just wants to free herself from every small grain of Hope Mikaelson she has in her, because she doesn’t want to feel like this. 

She doesn’t want Hope staring at her because it just makes her want more.

She can’t have that. 

“Okay. I have to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“You...” She exhales deeply. “You have a staring problem.”

Hope raises her eyebrows and scoffs a laugh. “Excuse me?”

“You stare at me whenever I’m not looking at you, and you keep doing it. You can’t do that. People will think you’re a freaking maniac.” 

Hope laughs genuinely amused. “You think I just stare at people like that?” 

“Y-yeah, well, you do that with me.” Her voice softens. She’s suddenly captured by Hope’s soft gaze on her. “So stop it.” 

“I didn’t think you where so shy.”

“I’m not shy. But you can’t stare at me like that. You have a wife, I have a girlfriend. We simply look at each other while we talk, we don’t stare.” 

“What if I have this staring problem only with you?” Hope says fixing her blue eyes in Josie’s.

Josie only stays with her mouth half open for a moment. “Huh, No. See that? No, you can’t do that.” She says pointing a finger at her. 

“Do what?”

“I’m over you, Hope.”

“Are you sure?”

Josie frowns and her answer comes out a little aggressive. “Yes!” 

“Well, I’m not.” She says facing her.

Josie groans and runs a hand through her hair. “You’re just trying to annoy me, aren’t you?”

Hope smirks. “Is it working?” 

“You are unbelievable.”

“Relax. I am over you.” She says turning back to look at the doors to avoid the brunette’s gaze.

Josie suddenly goes quiet. Now she is the one eyeing Hope with the corner of her eyes. “You..you are?”

The sound of the elevator fills the silence and the doors burst open. Hope walks out of the elevator and before she walks away, she looks at the brunette one last time, this time she’s not smiling anymore. Instead, she looks rather sad. 

“Sure.” She forces a smile. “Have a good day Josie.” 

As Hope disappears around the corner, Josie releases a deep breath and tries not to care about the conversation they just had.

Because it wasn’t important. 

It was just Hope poking her. It’s nothing new. 

It meant nothing.

They are over each other.

//

Maya walks quickly in the hallway to catch up with Hope a few feet ahead. “Hey, so, your aunt said they’re planning this ski weekend for Christmas and she wanted to know if we’d be okay with that.”

“Since when my aunt tells you about our family plans and not me?” Hope says with her eyes on the chart in her hands.

“Come on, you know she always loved me. Can I say yes?” 

Hope sighs and looks at Maya. “I don’t know.” Then she keeps walking.

Maya rolls her eyes and follows her. “I know you think it’s a lot-“

“You know?” Hope says pointing the obvious.

“But I’m trying here, Hope. I’m really trying.” She says sadly. 

Hope turns around and presses her lips together. She knows Maya is trying, but selfishly, Hope doesn’t want her to. Even if she is supposed to try too. “Fine. Okay.” 

Maya smiles and smacks a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll see you in an hour.” 

Unfortunately, the day had come to and end.

//

The table is all set and Jade and Jed are carrying all the food at the center. Everything with the preparation went surprisingly well and luckily Jade wasn’t so insecure about her cooking this time. 

“Okay people, we’re ready! Where’s Josie?”

Suddenly the door slams closed and they hear a voice coming from the hallway. “I’m here!” The brunette takes off her coat and leaves her bag on the floor by the table, then she rushes into the kitchen where everyone already was.

“Hey guys! It’s so good to see you!” She says greeting everyone. Penelope walks up to her and places a chaste kiss on her lips. “Hi.” Josie says. Then she quickly slips away from her embrace, not really enjoying the affection at the moment.

“Where have you been?” Alyssa asks.

“I had four surgeries today. Best Thanksgiving ever.” She says, still excited about the day she had, therapy aside.

“Good for you!” She grabs Josie and pushes her apart from the rest of the group. “Lizzie and Penelope got on each other’s throats, _again._

Josie sighs defeated. “What do you think I should do?”

“Um, I don’t know, for starters, maybe you shouldn’t have let her move in.“

“I asked you for help, I didn’t say _try to make me feel worse_.”

“Hey, I’ve already dealt with too much drama today between Jade and your sister. You take it from here.”

“Guys! Come on!” Jade yells. “Josie, if I’m not serving you instead of turkey it’s only because Wendy suggested against it. And because we’re not cannibals.” 

“Okay, I get it. You’re mad at me, but what if I tell you that I got you that thing you liked so much?” She says smirking and stepping closer to the blonde.

Jade looks around her and clears her throat. “You got the Santa costume for Arlo?” She whispers.

“Yes I did.”

Jade smiles widely, but then she gets all serious again. “You’re helping me with the tree, too.” 

“God, you’re vengeful.” 

Jade smirks annoyingly and luckily they both drop it. Dinner goes by rather nicely. Josie talks about her day and Jed talks a lot about his family and how it was for him being in the army and how difficult it was to treat any bomb wounds. Wendy talks a lot about her music and how she and her band got engaged for a spring tournée, and everyone seemed in awe of the girl. 

Lizzie, on the other hand, was rather quiet. Josie noticed, but didn’t want to bring it up while everyone was there, so she just kept an eye on her sister, hoping that she was okay. 

“So this man approaches me by the counter and asks me if I wanted to keep him company while he waited for his friend, but then Jade appears from nowhere and tells him ‘Aren’t you old enough to wait by yourself?’” 

Everyone laughs. 

“Yeah, plus he wasn’t really your type.” Jade says feeling rather embarrassed. 

“Do you live here too Wendy?” Jed asks.

“Oh no, poor Josie. I would be too much.” She chuckles. “No, um, but Jade is moving in soon, I think. Right?” She glances at Jade, who instantly panics.

“Um, I mean..yeah.” 

Lizzie’s attention suddenly is not on her plate anymore, instead she’s eyeing Jade incredulously, while the other blonde is purposely not looking, but feeling a pair of eyes on her. 

Both Josie and Alyssa notice Lizzie’s reaction, but before they can try to switch the conversation, Lizzie gets up.

“Excuse me for a moment.” 

Josie silently asks Alyssa if she should go check on her or just leave her be, but they decide it’s best to pretend nothing’s wrong and go on with the conversation. 

After a few minutes, when Jade tries to sneak away from the kitchen, Josie catches her. 

“Where are you going?” She asks inquisitively.

“I..” Jade sighs heavily. “I need to..”

“No. She’s too upset now. You can’t talk to her.” 

“I can’t...I can’t go on like this. I have to talk to her.” She walks past Josie and runs through the hallway, while Josie tries to grab her by her shirt, but Jade escapes her anyway. 

She rushes outside and finds Lizzie walking back and forwards on the porch. When she sees Jade, she suddenly stops and gives her an iced look.

“What?!” Jade asks in exasperation. “What’s that look?”

Lizzie scoffs a laugh. “You’re moving out.” 

“So what?!” 

“You can’t move out.”

Jade laughs hysterically and abandons her arms to her sides. “You’re hilarious. Really.”

“I don’t want you to move out because I want you here.” Lizzie forces herself to say the words out loud. “I want you here with me.” 

Jade feels a rush of frustration and sadness overcome her, and suddenly she has to try to keep herself from crying. And she never cries. 

“You can’t just say that!” She shouts. “You left everything to go to the freaking Caribbean! You left me! You kissed me and then you walked out! I told you how I felt about you and you still left!”

“But I’m here now!”

“It doesn’t matter! It doesn’t fix things, Lizzie!”

Lizzie sighs and keeps walking in distress. “Then what do you want me to say?!”

“Nothing! I...” She exhales deeply. “This is not okay. This...this is too much. I can’t be around you. That’s why I have to move out.” 

Lizzie scoffs a laugh. “Seriously? Jade, I came back for you. I didn’t come back because I missed my job. I missed you. I broke up with him, because for all this time, the only thing I could think about, the only thing...that kept me up at night, was you.” She pauses. “And I was a coward before! Okay?” She laughs nervously between tears. “I don’t want to run anymore. I’m here for you.” She says softly. “So what do you say?” 

At Thanksgiving, just like any other day, people get hurt. Not the kind of violent and rushing to the hospital hurt. But the kind of hurt that makes your heart ache. 

There’s no such day as giving thanks. Lizzie has always hated this day. What’s there to appreciate? What’s there if not pain, pain, just heartbreaking pain. 

How can you be thankful if the thing you want the most is missing?

//

When the night is finally over and everyone is gone, Josie is in the kitchen by herself cleaning up and drying the plates. The house is quiet and everyone is already asleep. 

She doesn’t know what happened between Lizzie and Jade and she’s worried that her sister might not be okay. She takes a mental note to check on her before she goes to bed. 

She looks at the time and sees that is midnight and she should really be asleep by now, since she only has five hours to rest before she has to start a new restless day.

She finishes cleaning the counter and then sighs tiredly. She turns off every light from the kitchen to the living room, and walks through the dark corridor before arriving at the door and walk up the stairs.

Just as she’s about to go, there’s a knock at the door. She frowns and grows a little worried, afraid of who might be this late.

She slowly opens the door to catch a glimpse of who that is, and as she sees the person in front of her, she opens the door fully and suddenly gets nervous. 

“What are you doing here?” 

An answer doesn’t come. 

“Hope?” 

Hope exhales deeply. She seems even more nervous than Josie is, which is a new thing for the brunette. 

Hope Mikaelson never gets nervous. She never cries. She can barely get mad and two seconds later, she gives you puppy eyes regretting whatever she did or said. Hope Mikaelson is confident, playful and soft.

Josie almost thinks she isn’t really her. 

“Maya wanted to have sex tonight.” She pauses. The expression on Josie’s face forces her to go on, before she can think she’s there only to give her that piece of information. “I didn’t. I..I couldn’t.”

Josie nervously wraps her arms around her stomach and clears her throat. It’s weird, how her heart dropped into her stomach and then she felt a sudden glimpse of relief. 

“Um..w-why?” She whispers.

Hope shakes her head and looks at Josie with sad and tender eyes. “You know why.” 

Josie presses her lips together and lowers her gaze to her feet before looking up again.

“Hope...”

“I never said it back.” She pauses. “I know.” She chuckles. “But do you really think I don’t feel the same about you?”

“You mean you didn’t.” 

“No, Josie.” She smiles softly. “I’m in love with you. As in now. The present. And the past. And the future, even.” 

A single tear falls on Josie’s cheek.

“Why didn’t you say something?” 

“I thought you were happy. Happier.” 

Josie scoffs a laugh. “How...how could I be happier without you?”

“Then why are you with her in the first place, Josie? Why did you run away? Why couldn’t you just wait for me?!”

Josie is now silently crying. She hates when Hope gets upset and mad at her. She hates when she’s right but Josie still feels hurt. 

“It was too scary. What I felt for you...”

“What you _felt_ for me?!” Hope breathes heavily. “So what? It’s..is it just gone now? You don’t feel anything?”

“Hope, you’re with Maya.” Josie says almost against her will.

“Unless you give me a reason not to be with her.” 

And then again, running back in circle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idiots


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that the chapter might be a bit longer than usual, but chapters will probably get longer with time because I’ll be introducing four more characters. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

Forgive and forget is not always easy as they make it seem. It’s a great advice, but not quite realistic. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt back. When we’re not treated fairly, we want to be fair. 

If we don’t forgive, no wound can fully heal. We just have to hope that maybe, with time, we’ll just forget, even without forgiving.

“Josie, you have to get in.”

Alyssa stands in front of Josie, who’s outside the hospital, stuck in the parking lot, unable to move. 

“I can’t. I can’t go in. I can’t see her.”

Alyssa groans. “Damn Mikaelson.” She sighs. “Just get in and avoid her like you always do.”

“What..what if I don’t want to?” 

“Okay, look. Did she leave her wife?”

“Well...no? I don’t know.”

“Did she sign the divorce papers?”

“I don’t know?! But she asked me to give her a reason not to be with her. She just threw the ball at me! And now it’s on me! I am the one who has to choose now!” She scoffs a laugh. “See what she does?! Ohh she’s good, she’s really good.”

“It’s not like she did it on purpose, dumbass.” 

“Which side are you on?” 

“The sane one! Let’s get to work!” She grabs the brunette and drags her towards the hospital.

As they walk in they take the elevator, finding Lizzie already in her scrubs. Josie looks at her curiously.

“What time did you get here?”

Lizzie raises her eyes from her phone. “Like an hour ago.” Then she keeps texting.

“Oh. Um, hey, are you okay?” Josie asks softly.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” 

“We can have a little time just you and me tonight, what do you say?” 

Lizzie smiles softly. “Yeah, I’d like that.” 

As the elevator opens, they part ways and Josie finds herself walking just behind Hope and Maya. She stops and waits for them to walk away before she can go to her locker room. 

“How was the surgery you had last night?” Maya asks Hope. 

“Good, it took hours, but it went good.” Hope lies.

She didn’t have a surgery, of course. She just said that so she could avoid Maya and go talk to Josie. After that, she just came back to the hospital and slept in one of the on call rooms.

“Are you sure everything’s okay?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” She fakes a smile.

“Okay.” Maya drops it.

Josie didn’t really mean to eavesdrop the conversation, but in her defense, the locker room was that way. As she finally gets in, she releases a deep breath and opens her eyes, finding Jade staring at her in amusement.

“Yeah, you’re definitely a ghost.”

Josie rolls her eyes and starts undressing herself. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Hope showed up at our door and told me she loves me.”

Jade giggles softly. “Oh God, you and I, the representatives of the crappy lives club.”

“What happened between you and Lizzie?”

Jade’s smile fades. “Nothing. Just...something like that.”

“Well, maybe my sister and Hope should start hanging out.” She jokes. 

“Totally.” 

Josie finishes getting ready and pulls two strands of her hair back. “Okay, let’s see who has the shittiest day today.” 

“Oh so now we’re competing?”

Josie smiles and then walks out the room, directed to find Bennett.

//

As Josie arrives in trauma room, suddenly there’s someone screaming at the back entrance, paramedics wheeling in a man, with a blonde curly haired girl following them. Josie sees Bennett rushing to the man but she still can’t see who that is. 

In the meantime she puts on her gloves, ready to step up and help.

“He was..fine. He just started puking blood.” The blonde says agitated. 

“Okay, make sure his fluids are running wide open. Let's get that blood hung.” Bennett says. “Parker! Get over here!”

“Dr. Bennett, shouldn’t we check for renal failure?” The blonde asks.

Bennett looks at the girl with a frown. “Are you a doctor?”

“Um, I was an intern at Chicago Memorial. I’ll be an intern here soon.”

“What’s the man’s name?”

“Alaric Saltzman. He..he’s my dad.” 

Josie suddenly freezes on the spot. She can’t move. She can’t walk over there and help...her father. And that girl...his daughter? How is that possibile?

Josie feels someone’s presence next to her and sees Lizzie staring directly at the man on the bed.

“Dad?” She whispers. 

“Lizzie, we should go.”

“Parker! I told you to get over here.”

“Josette?” Alaric coughs and turns his head to look at her, also noticing Lizzie next to her. “Elizabeth.” 

“Do you know each other?” Bennett asks confused.

“He’s our dad.” Josie says emotionless. 

Both girls can see the shocked look on Bennett’s and the daughter’s face, but Bennett acts quickly as always.

“Okay, Josie, you’re with Mikaelson. Lizzie, you’re with Dr. Williams. Get out of here, I’ll come find you.” 

Both of them walk away almost instantly, trying to process what was really happening here. 

For Josie, being with Hope suddenly wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to her that day. 

//

Josie walks silently in the CT room where Hope is looking at the monitors. 

She presses the mic button. “Okay Mrs. Lee, stay still and stay calm. It’ll be over soon.”

As she turns her eyes to the chart on the table, she notices Josie standing on the door with an absent look.

“Hey. Are you okay?” Hope asks softly.

“It’s my...um, my dad. He’s here. As a patient.” 

Hope’s face fills with worry and sadness, because she knows how difficult this is for Josie. 

“He..um, he has a daughter?” She chuckles nervously and sniffles. “But it doesn’t make sense because she’s my age and...and he left us when we were eleven. And I hate that he’s here. I just hate the fact that...” 

“Josie...”

“No.” She laughs again. “He’s..he’s dead to me, Hope. He’s nothing. He’s a stranger. If you ask me about my dad, I’ll tell you I don’t have one.”

Hope keeps quiet and just stares sympathetically at the brunette. 

“Parker? A word.” 

Josie follows Bennett outside, while Lizzie is already there with her to listen to what she has to say.

“He’s at an end-stage liver failure.” Bennett says directly.

“Which means he’ll be dead soon.” Josie spits out.

“Josie.” Lizzie calls her out with a disapproving tone.

“Or he needs a transplant, and I hope he's not a candidate, because that means he'd be in the hospital for months.” Josie adds.

“Um, Parker-“ 

“He needs a transplant, doesn’t he?” Josie laughs. 

“How did it happen?” Lizzie asks.

“He basically baths in bourbon.” Josie says, her arms crossed on her chest.

“We should go see him.” Bennett says.

“I don’t need to see him, maybe you do.” Josie says angrily.

“Josie? Please, just...do it for me, okay?” Lizzie begs her.

If it wasn’t for her sister, who still felt some kind of connection to her dad despite all the pain he had caused them, Josie would never step into a room with him. But when it comes to Lizzie, she might even consider burying a dead body just for her. 

As they walk into Alaric’s room, they see him slightly better than when he first arrived. The girl, whose name was still a mystery to Josie, was sitting right next to him.

Bennett starts talking and explaining his case to them.

“You need a liver transplant. But an alcoholic has to be sober at least a year before he qualifies for a donor liver.”

“I'm only 90 days.” Alaric says.

“I can do it, right? I’ll do it.” The blonde says. 

“You have to get tested first.” Bennett says.

“I’ll do it today.”

“Olivia...” Alaric tries to complain.

_Olivia._

“No, dad. It’s fine. My liver will rigenerate. It’s fine.” 

“No, Liv, you can’t do that.”

“You can’t stop me. You’re my dad. I’d do anything to save you.”

Josie feels sick to her stomach. She can’t stay in that room anymore. She wants to run away from there. She’s about to, but then Bennett takes Olivia with her for the test, and Josie and Lizzie are still in the room, alone with him. She can’t leave her now.

“Hello girls.” He says tiredly. 

“You came all the way here from Chicago?” Josie asks with the most despising tone. 

“No, um, I moved here a few months ago.” 

“That’s what you wanted to talk to me about when you came here? You wanted my help, because you wouldn’t let your precious daughter donate for you, right?”

“He was here before?” Lizzie asks confused. But Josie ignores the question. 

“It’s not that...”

“Oh it is that. I don’t believe you came here just because what, you wanted to meet us?”

He keeps quiet.

Josie lets out a bitter laugh. “Just like I thought.” 

“I’m sorry. About everything. I know that I hurt you both so much and I regret that every single day.” 

“Can I ask you something?” Lizzie says.

“Of course, Elizabeth.”

“How is she our age?” 

Alaric hesitates for a moment, but then he starts telling his truth. “I had an affair before you two were born. Your mother knew. But I didn’t know about Olivia until she came to find me when she was thirteen.” 

“I can’t stay in here anymore.” Josie says starting to walk out of the room.

“Josie!” Lizzie calls her out. And Josie suddenly goes off.

“No, Lizzie. Don’t tell me you’re able to stand here and listen to this, because I’m done. He is not our father. Remember what he did to you. Remember it took years for you to get better and he a played a big part in that too!”

“Josie, I know I hurt you, but let me...”

“No! I don’t need you to explain! I don’t need to forgive you because you were never a father to me. You know what I remember? You hitting Lizzie. You refusing to play with us or reading us bedtime stories. I don’t remember a day where you were really there for us. I’ve only memories of a mom that was there for me and who died before my eyes without me being able to do something about it! While my father, walked out the door when I was eleven and now he’s here expecting me to help him because he’s in so much pain. But what if you were never sick in the first place, huh? Would you even be here now? Were you ever going to come back?!” 

Josie’s outburst scares even the nurses and doctors passing by, but luckily Hope steps in and gestures them to clear the hallway. She stays out of the room, just waiting for Josie to come out. Just to be there for her in some way.

Alaric is still quiet, but Josie is not done yet.

“You could’ve come back to us. Instead, you decided that you were done. You erased us. Guess what? I erased you.” 

Josie storms out of the room and rushes past Hope, who follows her in the on call room of the floor.

Josie sits on the bed with her hands closed in a fist and placed over her mouth. Her legs shake nervously as if her entire body was in shock or high on caffeine. Hope kneels down in front of her and places a hand on her knee to stop the brunette’s from shaking. Then she gently caresses her cheek, and Josie meets Hope’s tender gaze for the first time.

It’s unreal how with a single touch and a single look Hope is able to calm her down. She doesn’t even need to talk. This is all that takes. And for a moment, Josie wishes she could just let herself crawl into Hope’s arms.

“Josie...”

“I know.”

_You’re here for me._

_You always are. Despite everything._

Hope sighs and keeps brushing her thumb on Josie’s cheek. “You have a good heart. No matter how much this hurts you, I know you’ll do the right thing.” 

A single tear falls on her face and Hope is quick to wipe it off gently. Suddenly the silence in the room is filled with the beep of Hope’s pager, sign that she has to leave. 

“If you need me, I’ll be in every corner, okay?” 

Josie nods lightly and keeps her head down. Hope places a sweet kiss on her head and stands up, walking out of the room reluctantly, but she still had to.

The perfume of Josie’s camomille shampoo remains stuck in her head. She can still feel it. It inebriates all her senses; it’s telling her that it’s the only perfume she could be able to live for the rest of her life. No other smell could ever give her so much comfort and peace. No other smell could make her heart explode like this.

What was she thinking? 

How could she go back to her life with Maya, if it isn’t Maya that she sees in her future?

She doesn’t need Josie to give her a reason. If she has to, she will wait for Josie as long as it takes. But she won’t take the easy way. It’s never been easy with Josie, and Hope was okay with that.

Josie challenged her. Josie was passion. Josie was like a cold shower and a warm fire at the same time. It was everything and every emotion all together. Josie was more than she could ever be able to put into words.

And the simple thought of loving her, was enough to make Hope feel whole.

Meanwhile, Josie finds the courage to get out of the room, trying to start working for real and occupy her mind with something else.

//

“How does this make you feel?” Emma asks Josie.

The brunette keeps walking left and right in front of the woman sitting in front of her, unable to stay put and calm.

“I’m angry! Doesn’t it show?!” She bursts out rubbing her forehead.

“Have you thought that maybe your sister is not the only one who had to deal with your dad leaving? That you’ve been carrying this with you for too long, repressing your feelings and the fact that you’re hurt.”

“I’m not repressing anything. I’m angry. I’ve always been angry.” 

“Because you didn’t want to let it break you, but look at you now. You are on the verge of breaking.”

“I’m...” She sighs heavily and abandons herself on the couch. 

Emma looks at her sympathetically. “Have you ever thought about the fact that you keep running away just like your father did?”

Josie stares at the woman bewildered. “You think I’m like him?” It almost disgusts her, thinking that she might be like him.

“No, Josie. You’re not like him, but your way of dealing with an uncomfortable situation, as in your relationships, usually ends up with you running away from them. You try to avoid the problem. You never really face your feelings, you let them eat you alive. That doesn’t make you like him, but it sure did a number on you.” 

“I...I don’t leave people. I’m not like him. What happened with Hope was different. This has nothing to do with her. This...this is about my father and my step-sister. God, I don’t even want another sister.”

“And now you won’t accept her because she had him as her father and you didn’t.”

“No! It’s not that.”

“Then what is it, Josie?” A moment of silence passes between them before Emma breaks it again. “Look, it’s okay to admit it. It doesn’t make you weak, admitting that you wanted that love. That you missed the kind of love that only a father can give to you.”

“I didn’t.” She says coldly.

“Then why are you still so angry at him?” 

“Because he left.” She finally admits.

“And might this explain why you run away from Hope every time? Because maybe you don’t want to feel like she is the one leaving you, because you wouldn’t bear knowing that she left you. But if you’re the one leaving, you convince yourself that you’re doing the right thing for you. For her.” She pauses. “Maybe that’s the same thing your father thought...doing the right thing for you.” 

Josie stared at the woman for a while without saying anything, not really able to put an answer together, still having to process everything the woman just said.

She gets up and walks out of the room, while Emma’s words sink in and she starts hating every second she spends talking to the woman.

Maybe she’s right, or maybe she’s just full of shit. Josie is not sure, but therapy was making her feel even more unstable than she felt before. 

//

Lizzie, in the meantime, was taking care of a patient who just got out of surgery. She checks the woman’s vitals and writes them down on the chart. 

In that moment, Jade passes by the room. Before she can walk past it, she catches a glimpse of the girl in the room, so she stops and walks back, silently walking inside.

“Hey.” 

Lizzie glances at her but doesn’t say anything, instead she keeps focusing on the chart. 

“I saw Josie. Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” 

But she sounded far from fine. Her voice was hoarse, weak and sad, as if she was about to cry. Lizzie is probably in her most delicate state; avoiding a breakdown is probably the most difficult thing to do right now. 

Jade walks closer and places a hand on her arm. “Talk to me.”

The blonde sighs and finally stops writing. She’s quiet for a moment, probably trying to decide what’s the thing bothering her the most between all the thoughts crossing her mind.

“I always thought that the day I’d see my dad again, would be the day I could feel like I had a real family again.” She pauses and looks at Jade. “But I don’t. My mom is not here. And Josie..oh, Josie just hates him more than anything in the world. And my desperate part who just wants a dad would just forgive him for everything in a heartbeat, but the other part just fears I will be disappointed all over again. And it took me years to get past this. But now he’s here...”

“Do you want to forgive him?” Jade asks softly.

Lizzie scoffs. “I mean, Josie is right. Was he ever going to come back for us? We were here, all this time, while he was intentionally being a dad to someone else.” At this point, she starts breaking down in tears. “Didn’t he think I needed that too?” She sniffles. “That I needed a dad? Just...to feel like I was his princess, that he was there for me. Instead, I only have the memory of him hitting me, screaming at me...and I never understood that.” She laughs sadly between tears. “But I still couldn’t hate him. I would always try to get his attention, to get anyone’s attention, because I’m just too desperate for someone to care.” 

Jade keeps looking at her with a sympathetic face. Her heart breaks at the thought of Lizzie having to deal with so much in her head and the struggle to control herself. Jade was there for her during her last episode, and she would want to be there if something like that were to happen again. She cups Lizzie’s face in her hands and forces the crying girl to look at her. 

“I care.” She wipes off some tears falling down Lizzie’s face. “And I know it’s not the same thing, but you don’t have to feel desperate for someone to care. Because you’ve always had people who care about you. We all care about you.” 

Lizzie sniffles and finally stops crying, trying to compose herself before anyone can see her. She fixes her scrubs and wipes her face from the tears.

“Thank you. I, um, I should go talk to Josie.” 

Jade only nods softly and lets her go, hoping that the girl would be okay figuring this by herself, although she couldn’t stop worrying and thinking about her own parents at the same time. 

She was still too scared to take that step, because what if they turn out to be disappointing? What if she can’t forgive them for giving her up and showing up just now?  
The mere thought of facing them scared her to death, but she gets where Lizzie comes from. She doesn’t hate them. She never did. She’s just as desperate for that love as Lizzie is, even though she would never admit that out loud.

//

Josie is at the nurses desk checking a patient’s file.

“Alexa, could you take these to the archive? Thank you.” She says.

She puts her pen back in her pocket and walks to her next surgery with Hope, but as she looks in front of her, Olivia blocks her way. 

“Hi.” 

Josie can’t help but see her like some sort of threat. Like someone she doesn’t want to know. She doesn’t need to know her. She’s not her family. And she doesn’t care of what she has to say.

“I’m sorry, I have surgery. You can talk to Bennett for whatever you need.”

“No, wait. I..I need to talk to you.” She pauses. “I‘m not a match. And I know that the last thing you want right now is me asking for your help, because we don’t know each other, but he’s my dad and I can’t do anything about this and I feel powerless.” She cries.

“I’m sorry but he’s not my dad, I can’t help you.” She tries to leave but Olivia stops her again.

“I know that he was never a dad to you, but he was to me for the second part of my life, and he’s been a great dad. But if you refuse to get tested, he’s going to die. And I’ve already lost a brother. I can’t lose him too. So please, I’m begging you...save my dad. Because even though you don’t think of him as your father, you’re more of a daughter to him than I am right now.” She exhales deeply between tears. 

Josie stares at her with dead eyes, wanting to just storm off. She’s never been a selfish person, but right now she’s the most selfish she’s ever been. 

She would rather let her father wait in a list than save him herself. She was ready to put the world upside down for her mom to live, but she wouldn’t move a finger to help her dad.

What does this make her? A horrible person? A terrible doctor, even? 

She’s so caught up in her own pain and hate, that she can’t see past it. She can’t see that there is a daughter, a sister, asking for her help. And she refuses to give it to her. 

Is she really this selfish?

While she’s still silent and Olivia is still standing in front of her, she catches auburn hair right in the corner of the hallway.

Josie meets Hope’s tender gaze and the girl gives her a weak smile, because she knows. Hope knows her more than Josie wants to admit. She gets parts of her that she doesn’t even know yet, but it’s like she knows them anyway. 

Somehow, Hope is always the one that sees her. And that doesn’t have nothing to do with the fact that the girl just stares at her so much. Or maybe it’s just that; the fact that she spends so much time staring at the brunette, that she can see right through her like no one else can. 

She knows her heart. 

And Josie is not like she wants Olivia and her father to believe. 

//

Josie walks into Alaric’s room, who’s sitting on the bed talking to Olivia, but as they see the brunette, they turn quiet.

“You are not my father. But you are a father to her. And I had a mom that deserved more than what she got, but I couldn’t do anything to save her. And I’m a doctor.” She pauses and swallows hard. “So I get how she’s feeling. And I don’t wish that feeling to anyone, because it’s nerve breaking.” 

“Thank you, Josie.” He says, unsure if that even was the right thing to say to her. 

Josie shakes her head. “Don’t thank me. I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for her, even if she’s no one to me. But I was her once. And if someone could have saved my mom like I can save you for her, I probably wouldn’t be so broken.”

With that being said, Josie walks out of the room without saying another word, getting ready for the surgery that would take place in a few hours. 

She’s a patient now, she has her own room, and a nurse that’s taking exams on her. It’s major surgery, it’s a risk, but she didn’t think about it until now. 

Suddenly the room is filled with people all around her. Lizzie, Alyssa, Landon, Jade. Even Penelope came as soon as she heard. Josie smiles at the sight of them.

“What are y’all doing here? Someone wants to know what I wrote in my last will?” 

“Just tell me you left me our dog and you can go in peace.” Jade says leaning on the bed next to Josie, making her laugh.

“Sure. We’re co-parenting after all. Anyone else?”

“Shut up. You’re so dark and twisted and for what? It’s a major surgery, but Bennett is operating you. There’s no way something’s gonna go wrong.” Alyssa says.

“Plus, you’re a fighter.” Landon says.

“Oh please, go on. I love being the center of attention.” Josie says smirking.

“All right, see what happens when she gets too much love?” Alyssa says.

“Ah, it’s never too much for her.” Penelope says, then she smacks a kiss on Josie’s forehead, who smiles softly at the gesture.

Josie meets Lizzie’s gaze, who is standing with her back against the wall, farther than the rest of the group. They notice it too and everyone share an understanding look. Jade clears her throat and tells them it is time to go, so that the two sisters can have a moment. 

When they’re finally alone, Lizzie walks by Josie’s bed and takes her hand, sighing heavily.

“I know this is hard for you.” 

“Lizzie, I’m okay. I’ll be okay.” She reassures her.

Lizzie nods and keeps her head down their hands intertwined, drawing with a finger on Josie’s palm. She clears her throat, nervous about saying her next words. 

“Um, would you be mad at me if I ever forgive dad?” 

Josie keeps silent for a moment, but then squeezes her sister’s hand tightly. “I could never be mad at you. You’re my sister. You’re my life. I’ll always be here for you even when you make choices I won’t approve. I just want you to be happy.” 

Lizzie smiles softly and sniffles, then she leans in and pulls Josie in a tight hug. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

“Parker, are you ready?” Bennett says followed by two nurses.

The two girls break the hug and the nurses wheel Josie to the OR, but before she can enter the room, Hope places herself in front of the bed, causing Josie to smile.

“Ohh, you came to hear my last will too?” 

Hope chuckles and gives her a soft smile. “It depends. Is there something for me?” 

Josie only stares at her for a while without saying anything, both of them just smiling at each other.

“I’ll tell you if I survive.” She gestures the nurses to keep going and forces Hope to get out of the way. 

The neurosurgeon keeps smiling to herself, while Josie enters the OR. Hope watches the whole surgery from the gallery, tensing up at every step, even though she would trust Bennett with her own life. But it was Josie who was on the table. She would be worried in any case. 

Luckily the surgery goes well and Josie doesn’t have complications. When she’s finally into the room it’s late at night. She’s high from the anesthesia and Jade and Alyssa figured they could have some fun messing with the brunette. And they did, until Lizzie said it was enough and Josie had to rest, so she send everyone home.

“Jo, I’m going to get something to eat for a moment. Will you be okay on your own for five minutes?” Lizzie asks as if she’s talking to a five year old.

“What if I have to pwe?” 

“You peed twenty minutes ago.” She sighs. “Page me if you fall off the bed.” 

Josie starts laughing almost hysterically, but Lizzie ignores her and walks out of the room to head to the cafeteria. 

In the same moment she turns around the corner, Hope walks into the room, thinking the girl would be half asleep. Instead, Josie instantly sees her in the dark.

“Hope?” She smiles. “What are you doing here? Oh right! You came to collect!” 

Hope laughs amused at the girl’s behavior. “You’re cute when you’re high.” 

“Yeah, I should get high more often.” 

Hope smiles softly and pulls back a strand of hair that was covering Josie’s face. “I’m so proud of you.” She whispers. 

Josie has her eyes closed now, but she’s still awake. She sighs softly and sinks her head in the pillow. “Do you want to know what you get?” She mutters sleepy. 

“What is it?” 

Josie yawns and then takes Hope’s hand, which was simply resting on the bed, but Josie holds it to her chest. 

“My heart.” She says softly. 

Hope can’t help but melt at the brunette’s confession. She smiles and leans in to place a sweet kiss on Josie’s forehead. Then she slowly tries to slip her hand out of Josie’s hold. 

She takes one last look at her, and then quietly walks out of the room.

//

Hope enters the Mystic Grill where Maya was waiting for her. She sees her sitting at the table, drinking and checking her phone in the meanwhile.

“Hey.” Hope smiles and sits down. “What are you drinking?”

“A Martini. God, I would legit drink only this for the rest of my life.”

“Then you wouldn’t be a doctor anymore.” Hope jokes.

Maya giggles like a drunk teenager and licks her finger. “That’s true.”

Maya stops to take a look at Hope and notices a hint of sadness in her face.

“Why do you have that look? Have a drink with me, come on. We used to play and get drunk together, remember? We had so much fun.”

Hope looks down on the table and presses her lips together. She nods sadly. “Yeah...but I‘m a different person now, Maya.” She meets Maya’s gaze. “And I just can’t do this. I tried to. And it’s not because I can’t forgive you, which to be honest I’m still not sure I did...I just..don’t love you anymore. Of course I care about you, I always will.” She pauses. “But I love Josie. And she’s not just someone I used to sleep with. She was not just a meaningless hookup. I love her...and I can’t change that.” 

Sometimes we’re hard at forgiving, but we’re even harder at forgetting something that made us feel good. Or bad. 

It’s what we felt in those moments that helps us choosing what to do. 

What do you do when you can’t forgive? 

What do you do when you also can’t forget? 

Eventually, it all comes down to what gave us happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of Liv as Lexie?


	22. Chapter 22

In general, lines are there for a reason. For security, to set boundaries. If you cross a line, you do it at your own risk. 

So why do you cross that line? What tempts you so much to make you do it?

It’s like you can’t help yourself. Maybe it’s the thrill. Maybe it’s some sort of personal dare. Maybe you’re just too weak. But once you cross that line, you can’t go back.

“Arlo has to go!” Landon shouts getting down the kitchen, catching everyone’s attention.

“Arlo is not going anywhere. He’s our dog.” Josie says with her mouth stuffed with cereals.

“He’s _your_ dog and Jade’s. I never agreed to have a dog. Especially one that pees on my bed!” He shouts again.

Lizzie chuckles. “Isn’t this the third time that happens?” 

Jade smiles amused. “Do you change your sheets Landon? You know, the dog smells his pee. He’s just going to do it again and again.”

“Of course I change my sheets!” He groans in frustration. “Choose! Me or the dog?” 

The three girls share a look before looking back at time. “Door’s that way.” Jade points him. 

“Really?!”

“Why don’t you move in with Wade? You two seem to get along just fine. And you hate living with us, so...” Lizzie says.

“Are you kicking me out?!” 

“No, Landon.” Josie sighs. “Don’t listen to them. I’ll make sure Arlo doesn’t pee on your bed anymore. Okay?” 

At that point, he calms down. He pouts and decides to drop the argument. “Fine.” Then he walks back upstairs.

“But make sure you change your sheets!” Josie shouts, and the girls share another laugh. 

“Are you ready to get back to work and see Liv all the time?” Lizzie asks.

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll know when I see her.” 

“She’s really nice, Jo. And sweet. And I was jealous of her at first, but then I realized she doesn’t have fault. She’s our sister.”

 _“Stepsister.”_ Josie points out.

Lizzie gives her a scolding look. 

“If you think like that then there’s no point in telling you to behave.” Jade says.

“I will behave. I promise. I..” She sighs. “I’ll try.”

“Thank you.” Lizzie gets up and places her cup in the sink. “I’m going to get dressed. Jade, you coming with me?” 

Jade suddenly chokes on her coffee. She punches herself on the chest while coughing. Josie looks at her in both confusion and amusement. When she finally recovers, she clears her throat and looks at the blonde.

“I’m sorry what?” 

Lizzie sighs heavily. ”Do you need a ride?” 

“Oh. A ride. Sure, I..I could use that.” 

While Lizzie walks upstairs, Josie keeps eyeing Jade inquisitively.

“You still haven’t told her?” 

Jade clears her throat and takes another bite of her cookie. “Told her what?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. That you broke up with Wendy!” She whispers harshly.

“I...haven’t found the right time.”

“And when would that be?!” 

“Oh please, okay, don’t lecture me because you’re no good example of speaking your heart out when you’re supposed to.” Jade says pointing a finger at her.

“Okay fine. You know how to win an argument. Always using me as the bad example.” Josie gets up and places her plate in the sink.

Suddenly Alyssa storms into the house and rushes into the kitchen to pour herself some coffee. 

“Morning unhappy people.” 

“Why are you so cheerful?” Josie asks.

“She’s probably high on something.“ Jade says narrowing her eyes.

“I have a big surgery today. Oh, and remember there’s that charity event at the hospital tonight.”

“Oh God, we have to get dressed up?!”

“Oh, just when I don’t have a date anymore.” Jade says feigning to be sad.

“Well, you _could_ have a date.” Alyssa hints. 

“Shut. Up.” 

“What about you, huh? When are you going to break up with Penelope?” Alyssa asks.

“Would you shut up?! She’s upstairs!” Josie whispers harshly. “And I don’t know, okay?”

“Jo, Mikaelson basically sold her heart out to you and now you‘re stalling? Why?”

“Because...” She sighs heavily. “I don’t know if I can trust her.” 

“You’re being a Landon.” Jade says. 

“A what?”

“A pussy. That’s the other word I use so I don’t sound vulgar.” Jade says smiling in amusement.

“Hey Jojo. Morning girls.” 

“Penelope! Hi!” Josie shouts energetically.

Jade frowns and looks at Alyssa. “Did she have what you had?” 

“I was wondering if you wanted to go to that concert I told you about? It’s tonight.” Penelope asks the brunette while holding her. 

“Oh. I..I actually can’t tonight.” She glances at the two girls sitting at the table, listening to their conversation. 

“Why?”

“Because I...we..” Jade shakes her head to stop Josie from saying her next words. Both of them give the brunette a death glare. “Um, there’s a charity event tonight. And we, as doctors, have to attend. Oh! Um, you should come with me.” 

Alyssa and Jade sigh and shake their heads in surrender, thinking that she really was a lost cause.

“Oh wow. I would love to come, sure babe.” 

“Yes! Okay!” Josie chuckles nervously. 

“Jade? Let’s go!” Lizzie shouts from the doorstep. 

“Coming!” She quickly gets up and picks up her phone and bag.

“Wow, I know who tops in your relationship and you’re not even together yet.” Alyssa says. 

Josie and Penelope burst into laughter, while Jade gives them all a death stare and storms out of the living room.

“We should go too, we’re gonna be late.” Alyssa says.

“I’ll see you tonight then?” 

Josie nods and forces a smile. “Yes you will.” 

Maybe Jade is right, she is a Landon.

//

Josie walks out of the locker room, but she doesn’t get that far, because suddenly Liv walks up to her. 

“Josie, Hi.” 

“Oh, um, hi.”

“How...how are you feeling?”

“I’m good, thank you.” 

“Are you going tonight?”

“Yeah, we have to, or else Dr. Williams takes away a month of surgeries.”

“Oh well, good to know.” She chuckles nervously. 

Josie presses her lips together and keeps nodding, not having anything else to say. But Liv was still standing there looking at her like a wishful puppy.

“So...I should start my rounds.” Josie finally says.

“Oh yes, of course. Can I, um, would you like to have lunch later? Whenever you are on a break, that’s fine with me. You can page me.”

“Oh. Well...okay. Sure.” Josie gives her a forced smile. 

When the curly haired blonde finally walks away, Josie releases a deep breath and keeps walking to her patient’s room, hoping that she could find a way to free herself from Olivia. 

//

“Hope! Just wait a minute, please.” Maya says trying to catch up with her.

“Maya, I already told you what I think. Do we really have to keep talking about it?” She sighs in exasperation.

“So you really want a divorce this time?”

Hope frowns. “It’s not like I didn’t really want it the first time.”

“I get it. You care about her. And I will never be her. Probably you won’t ever look at me like you look at Josie, but isn’t she in a relationship now? You’re giving up on us for what, Hope?”

Hope keeps silent. 

“I don’t know what she will do, I just know that what we have doesn’t make sense anymore. I want her.” 

“But does she want you?” 

She doesn’t know. That’s the fucking problem. Because Josie says one thing, but then does the opposite. She’s just too confusing, and even if Hope told herself she would wait for her as long as it takes, it hurts.

Not having her, hurts. 

She’s just feeling so miserable, honestly. She never knew being in love would make her so weak. At least she feels like it. 

Maybe Josie doesn’t think she would be happy with her. Maybe she really is happier with Penelope. 

Maybe Hope should stop feeling so lost without Josie.

//

Jade and Lizzie are in the patient’s room with a young boy and his two dads. Hope walks into the room in time to present his case. 

“Good morning everyone.”

She forces a smile to reassure the boy and glances at the two girls next to her, hinting them to proceed with the case.

“Shawn Begleiter. 11 years old. In for intractable vomiting after a minor head injury.” Lizzie says.

“I wouldn’t say minor.” One dad says.

“He got hit with a baseball bat.” The other dad adds.

Hope checks on the boy using the small flashlight. 

“He’s gonna be okay, right?”

“Yeah, we just have to keep a close eye on him. Okay, recommendations?” Hope glances at the two girls again.

“Traumatic brain injury could indicate anything from a concussion to intracranial hemorrhaging.” Jade says. “I'd start with a H&P, do a thorough neuro-exam and get a CT.” 

“Very good Montgomery.”

“Do you need to throw up sweetie?” 

“Dad.” The boy scolds him. 

Hope smiles and then walks out of the room, followed by the two parents, so that Jade and Lizzie could prepare the boy for the CT.

“So, um, do you have a date for tonight?” Jade asks her.

“No. But I asked Alyssa to set me up.” 

“Oh, got it.”

“You’re...going with Wendy?”

“Um, yes, sure.” 

Before they can wheel the bed out of the room, the boy stops them.

“Doctor? I think I have to throw up now.” 

//

Alyssa and Josie are sitting in the cafeteria for their break, trying to eat as fast as they can before Bennett calls them for surgery. 

“I think it’s too soon to ask me to move in with him.” Alyssa says.

“Well, you’re right. Plus, you’re a control maniac in the house.” Josie says stuffing her mouth with salad.

“I’m not...that much.”

Suddenly Jade appears out of nowhere, scaring both Alyssa and Josie. 

“What are you doing?!” Alyssa yells at her.

“I need you to help me with something.”

“Okay, there’s no need to try breaking both of your legs to do that, Jesus.” 

“Hey, Josie!” Liv waves at the brunette from afar and walks over to her table.

“Oh God.” Josie whispers.

“You didn’t page me.” Liv says almost sad.

“Um, yeah, sorry. I just had to be quick so I figured we could do that another time.”

“Oh okay. Um, maybe we could go for a drink tomorrow? It’s my birthday.” 

“I don’t know, I should check my schedule. Bennett is on my neck, so...”

Olivia sighs and shakes her head sadly. “Josie, if you don’t want anything to do with me just say it. I don’t need you to let me down gently.”

“You realizing it proves that you’re actually smart.” Alyssa says with a cocky smile.

Olivia rolls her eyes. “Whatever. Lizzie said that you would act like a bitch.” 

She starts walking away while Josie stays frozen with her mouth wide in shock. “Did she just call me a bitch?”

Jade frowns. “Do I never call you that?” 

“Technically Lizzie did.” Alyssa states.

 _“She_ called me a bitch!”

Josie gets up and walks out of the cafeteria to follow Olivia, and luckily she catches her turning around the corner for the bathrooms. She follows her in and faces her.

“You don’t even know me.” She bursts out.

Olivia scoffs. “Because you don’t give me a chance to get to know you, Josie. Look, I know you feel like I took your father-“

Josie starts laughing hysterically. “You didn’t take anything from me. I just..don’t like you. We don’t vibe. It happens.” 

“Oh Josie, please. Look, it doesn’t matter. I forgive you. It doesn’t matter you’re a bitch to me because we’re still sisters. We are. We’re supposed to love each other and be there for each other. And I want to do things right with you and Lizzie, so you can’t just avoid me.” 

“Olivia...”

“No! You...you can’t hate me because it’s not my fault he never came back, okay? I’m sorry to throw this to your face and I’m sorry that he did what he did. I’m mad at him myself. Because all this time I had two sisters and I didn’t know. And you’re..so intimidating. I thought that Lizzie would be, instead it is you. I look up to you, okay? So please don’t disappoint me by being the worst sister ever, because I don’t deserve your hate.” 

Without giving her the time to say something, Olivia storms out, leaving Josie standing there both in shock and feeling guilty for being a real bitch. But it was hard for her. This was new and unfamiliar, and she still couldn’t let go of her anger.

//

“What exactly do you mean when you say blood in the ventricle?” 

“Oh my God, his brain is bleeding?!”

Hope nods at the two dads and tries to reassure them. “There’s no need to panic. It's a small amount of blood and these injuries often resolve themselves.”

“What if it doesn’t? Oh my God, his brain is bleeding!” 

“Rick.” The other dad calls him out.

“No Ryan, I can’t calm down.”

“Dad, I’m fine!”

“Relax, okay? He's awake, alert, minimal pain. These are all good signs. I just want to monitor him over the next forty-eight hours.”

“Okay. Fine. I..I guess that’s good.”

Hope smiles reassuringly at them and walks out the room, surprisingly finding Josie walking up to her.

“My step sister just called me a bitch.” She says with her arms crossed on her chest.

“Well, she must have good reasons.”

Josie opens her mouth, almost feeling insulted again. “Listen, I have my reasons too for being a bitch.”

“Oh well, was she a bitch to you?” 

Josie frowns and grows more irritated. “Okay, what’s your problem today? Did my new sweet sister tell you bad stories about me?”

Hope chuckles. “Ohh, she doesn’t need to. I know enough stories about you myself.” She whispers and walks away.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Josie asks defensively, but Hope ignores her and walks away. And Josie doesn’t bother to go after her, because _seriously?_

“Fine! You know what? Maybe I am bad!” She shouts careless of who’s around.

Hope doesn’t look back, and Josie has an odd feeling of rejection.

And she doesn’t like it.

//

It’s finally time for the charity event and the hospital is filled with doctors dressed up nicely and elegant. Most of them are dancing at the slow music, others are drinking and chatting in a corner. 

When Josie, Penelope and Lizzie arrive, they pour themselves a drink as first thing. When they get bored of standing still, Penelope invites Josie for a dance, while Lizzie goes to find Alyssa and her surprise date.

“You know, I think that we’ve come really far.” Penelope says smiling softly.

Josie smiles back. “Yeah, we did.” 

“And you must give credit to the fact that I’m so grown up and a loving girlfriend, things that I never was before.”

“I wonder what classes you took for that.” Josie jokes, making the raven haired girl laugh. 

Silence falls between them and Josie just puts her arms around Penelope’s neck and rests her chin on her shoulder, looking around her. Her eyes quickly catch Hope from afar, looking stunning in a long red dress, and Josie suddenly feels shivers running all over her skin when Hope meets her gaze. 

As Josie notices Maya next to her, she forces herself to look away and closes her eyes to avoid further glances. 

//

“Alyssa!” Jade grabs her. “Where were you?”

“Sorry, Sorry! There was traffic and-“

“Oh save it, you clearly just had sex.” 

Alyssa presses her lips together and finally admits it. “Fine.” 

In that same moment Lizzie approaches them. “Alyssa, I’ve been here for half an hour. Where’s my date?” She asks annoyed. 

“Oh. Um...there she is!” She points at Jade and grabs Jed’s arm. “Okay now we’re leaving.” And then they run off, leaving Lizzie standing there with confusion written all over her face.

“What’s she talking about?” 

Jade sighs and walks closer to the girl, but keeps her eyes on the floor. “I...broke up with Wendy.”

When she finally looks at Lizzie, the girl is trying to hide a smile that Jade doesn’t miss. Lizzie clears her throat and crosses her arms on her chest.

“So...you were too much of a Landon to tell me as a normal person would and you told Alyssa to secretly set you up with me?” She says quite amused, even making Jade smile at her own cowardice.

“Fine, yes.” She sighs and keeps smiling. “I actually thought it was kind of romantic, but now that you called me a Landon I feel a little hurt.”

Lizzie lets out a laugh and closes more the distance between them, placing her arms around Jade’s neck. “I think I can fix you up.” 

Then she slowly leans in to kiss her.

//

Josie is still dancing with Penelope, who has spent the last twenty minutes talking. Josie is kind of glad for that, because this way she has been able to be really focused on her, instead of a certain beautiful neurosurgeon in a red dress. 

That is until she can see Hope and Maya again from where she was standing; and Hope was staring at her again. 

That’s all she has done for a full hour. 

She stares, stares, stares.

She moves to get a drink and her gaze follows Josie.

She eats Josie alive from a distance just with a look. 

It’s frustrating. And exciting. And...wrong in so many ways.

Suddenly Josie feels like she can’t breathe anymore in there, despite the fact that it was a quite large room, but it was too hot. 

“Um, I need to go to the bathroom for a moment. Would you save me a drink for when I get back?” She tells Penelope.

“Sure. Of course.” 

Josie quickly walks away and rushes to the elevator; she keeps pushing the buttons and just wishes for the doors to open, because she needs to get out of there. 

When it finally arrives, Josie rushes in and presses the button in the inside. Just then, someone calls her name and runs towards her.

“Josie!” 

It’s Hope.

“Now it’s not the time Hope.” She exhales deeply and keeps her gaze on the ceiling.

The doors are closing, but Hope manages to step in the middle and block them, getting inside and then pushing the button again. 

She faces Josie, who looks at her as if she was the one that had been running after her; out of breath.

_Hope is so mesmerizing._

It’s the only thing that Josie can think while having her this up close. 

Her blue eyes. Her air pulled up in an elegant ponytail. The few strands of hair falling on her cheekbones. Her exposed neck and chest...

Maybe she was thinking more than that.

“Hope, what do you want?” 

“Why are you leaving?” 

“I need some air. I can’t be in that room with you staring at me like that. I can’t.”

Hope walks closer, while Josie steps back. “I can’t help it.” 

“I told you not to stare at me like that! You..” She takes a deep breath. “You’re..”

_You’re driving me insane._

“I’m what?” 

But Josie doesn’t answer. She’s still breathing erratically and hopes that the elevator doors just open soon, since the air was even lesser in those four walls. 

“Josie. I told you to give me a reason, why haven’t you yet?”

“Because it’s too hard! You make it too hard!” She shouts.

Hope scoffs and starts raising her voice too. “I make it too hard?! Josie, you still don’t get it? I love you! I can’t stop staring at you because you’re all I can see. God, I wish I couldn’t see you even when you’re not there, but you always are! Do you know how that feels?!”

“Oh believe me, I think I do.” 

“Then what are you doing with her, Josie?”

“She doesn’t have a wife! She wants a future! She...she just told me how we could move to Belgium and start a life there! And she...she cares about me. She loves me.” At that point, it sounded as if she was forcing herself to say every word. To make herself hear that and believe it. To remind herself, so as not to make something stupid. “She...” Josie breathes heavily and meets Hope’s sad and loving eyes.

“She what, Josie?” Her voice is small, scared, hurt.

“She’s not you.” 

After five seconds not breathing at all, Hope lets out a shaky breath and then grabs Josie by her face and closes the distance between them in a heated kiss. Josie’s mind goes suddenly blank, only filled with all the things she wishes to do to Hope. All the things she wants Hope to do to her. 

And she lets her.

Hope pushes her against the wall and presses her body against Josie’s, who responds with a gasp of surprise. 

Josie leans a hand on the buttons and makes sure to block the elevator before the doors can open. Meanwhile Hope slowly slides her hands under Josie’s dress and starts caressing every inch of her skin, running her hands from Josie’s stomach to her inner tights. Then she breaks the kiss and moves her lips to Josie’s neck, leaving a trail of wet and urgent kisses. 

Josie keeps moving her hips against Hope’s so she won’t stop feeling her. 

She never wants to stop feeling her this close. 

And as Hope reaches her pulse point, Josie lets out a moan of pleasure. That only turns on both of them even more; and at that point it is Josie the one trying to take over and pressing Hope against the wall. 

She meets Hope’s eyes, which are now dark with lust, while she gets down and slides her hands under Hope’s dress, raising it just as it takes to take off her panties. 

This feels like the wildest of Hope’s dreams. She doesn’t believe it’s really happening. She probably will wake up soon.

The brunette looks at her as if she was a prey and Josie was the predator; and Hope never enjoyed being in danger so much.

“I want you here. Now.” Josie tells her out of breath, brushing their lips together.

“Then take me.” 

Hope doesn’t know if hers was a pray or an order; she was just glad that Josie answered it. 

Both of them undressed each other, dropping the dresses on the floor, finally skin against skin.

Josie grabs Hope and lifts her from the floor, while the auburn haired girl crosses her legs around the brunette’s waist, feeling the thrill and the fire burning inside and out. 

Maybe it’s minutes, maybe it’s an hour. It feels both too long and too little. It’s just them and no one else. The rest of the world doesn’t exist. There’s no drama, no wife, no girlfriend. It’s just them in the elevator; and it wraps them in a perfect dream bubble.

When it’s finally over, they only stare at each other breathless for a few moments before the overwhelming feeling of guilt starts eating Josie alive. 

Both girls put on their dresses again, and Hope starts staring at Josie again, adverting her distress and fearing what was coming.

The dream was over now.

“Josie.”

“Don’t. Please.” Josie keeps focusing on putting her shoes back on, avoiding Hope’s gaze.

“Josie, look at me.” Hope’s voice sounded like a plead. 

Josie sighs heavily and meets Hope’s teary eyes. 

“This...”

“This what?” Hope scoffs, almost crying. “This was a mistake, you mean? Josie, didn’t you hear me the first time? I want you! But you keep slipping away from me. You...you keep choosing her and I don’t get why! And I’m...so tired. You have no idea...how much it hurts to see her holding you like that. To see you smile at her like I want you to smile at me. Maybe I’m greedy and..and selfish, but I just can’t stand it. It’s fucking ridiculous how much this hurts me. But I can’t take this. It hurts every bone in my body, every nerve...every happy thought, you just smash it away. Because it’s you that’s missing. So please...please, if you don’t want this, just tell me to give up.” 

It would be selfish, telling her not to, just right after that line is crossed. 

But how do you say it?

The elevator doors open and Penelope is walking just towards them. She sees Josie facing Hope. 

“Hey, you’re here. You were gone for like an hour. Are you okay?” 

Josie instantly turns to Penelope, who looks between the two girls in confusion. She notices that both of them look upset. Too upset. And their dresses and hair are far too messy than when they first got there. 

It doesn’t take long for Penelope to realize what’s happening. She looks at Josie with a pained face and sighs loudly in surprise.

“Really?” 

“Pen...”

Penelope walks away before Josie can say something. The brunette feels stuck for a moment, unsure if she has to go after her or stay right where she was. 

Either way, she loses. 

The damage is done; and whatever she can say to try and fix things, it wouldn’t work. 

You don’t break two hearts and expect them to love you despite that. Sometimes when lines are crossed, boundaries are broken, hearts are broken. 

Who is there to pick up the pieces?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boi that was intense


	23. Chapter 23

Every human being has at least a small part of selfishness. Sometimes it’s the reason why we’re unhappy. You can’t be selfish and happy at the same time. 

Or maybe you can, but at the expense of others. But that, of course, can never be right.

Probably there’s always something out there that makes even the kindest of hearts, selfish.

“Josie, we’ve been doing this for a week. You say you don’t wanna go to work, I come here and drag your ass out of bed. So, what’s new today?” Alyssa says in exasperation.

“Hope is coming back today. The mere thought of looking her in the eyes makes me feel sick to my stomach.”

Josie would almost call it luck, that after everything that happened at the charity event, Hope had to leave for a month for an experimental research in Boston. Josie hasn’t seen her or talked to her for a month, but now Hope was back, and Josie couldn’t avoid her anymore.

“Wow. I thought you were the one who cheated _with_ her.” Alyssa says.

Josie raises her head from her pillow and gives Alyssa a dead look. “Okay, we both cheated.”

“Actually no...she wasn’t with Maya anymore. Maya told Bennett that Hope left her for you, Landon overheard and reported to me.” 

Josie covers her face with her pillow and screams against it. “This is even worse!” 

Alyssa frowns and sighs tiredly. “Dude, you’re losing me.” 

“Now I can’t even hate her. I only hate myself!”

“Oh well, look how the tables turned.” She sighs. “Josie, maybe she won’t even look at you after what happened. She must be heartbroken.”

“Alyssa!” 

“I’m sorry, okay? But let’s face it, you were slutty, it happens! But if you love Mikaelson, stop denying yourself that already.”

“I lost Hope the moment I ran off to chase Penelope.” She says staring at the ceiling.

“But you lost Penelope too.” 

“Yeah and now I’m just the worst person on the planet. I’m going to hell and there will be a big _‘Welcome home cheater!’_ party.” 

“You’re being overdramatic. Come on, get up now.” Alyssa drags her out of bed and to the bathroom. “Take a shower.”

“So I can wash away the stink of shame? I think it’s gonna take a while.” 

Alyssa rolls her eyes, pushes her inside and closes the door. 

//

Jade and Lizzie are laying on the empty beds of the tunnels, while Landon walks back and forwards, rambling about his doubts.

“I think I’d like to work in the police department.” Landon says while chewing a licorice.

Both Jade and Lizzie frown. “Um, you’re a doctor.” Jade says.

“Yeah but I mean I could try, right? It’s not that I don’t like this job, it’s just that...I don’t know. I don’t feel empowered like you guys. Even Bennett doesn’t rely on me that much. I don’t think she trusts me.”

“Bennett could make anyone feel like they’re incapable of doing anything, Lan. Dr. Williams believes in you. And I was with you in the elevator when you saved Wade. I couldn’t have done that under so much pressure.” Jade confesses.

“Yeah but still, I don’t know. Wade says he could help me out with getting in his department.”

“Here’s a friendly advice you’ll never get again from me: don’t ever leave your job for a guy.” Lizzie says, making Jade chuckle next to her. 

“This is a totally different thing. I’m not going to change my life just to run away from the girl I like.” 

“Oh-ohh.” Jade laughs in amusement.

Lizzie grins softly. “Touché. But just to be clear, I wasn’t running away because of her.” She points at Jade next to her. 

“It’s okay babe, you can stop pretending now.” 

“Well, no matter what you think, I’m gonna take a shot at this.” Landon says.

“You will get shot for sure. And when you do, I’ll be the one operating you. Your life will be in my hands.” Lizzie says mimicking a provocative voice.

“You’d be as good as dead then.” Jade says, and Lizzie pokes her with an elbow in her ribs. 

“Stop trying to act all bitchy with me, everyone knows who you really are.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jade asks confused.

Both girls stare at Landon, who is silent and trying to look clueless, but failing.

“What? What’s that about?” She pushes.

“Well, um, everyone kind of knows who...you know..”

“Uh, no I don’t?” Jade asks sarcastically.

“Who...tops.” 

Jade opens her mouth in shock. “And how would you know that?!” 

Landon glances at Lizzie, who’s smiling proudly to herself, and Jade glances at the blonde next to her too.

“You are so dead.” 

“Oh yeah?” Lizzie leans closer, their faces now only a few inches away. “Then who will be there to cuddle you at night?” 

Jade rolls her eyes and scoffs in frustration, then she gets up and goes back to work. 

Lizzie smiles proudly at herself. “It works every time.” 

“When you said cuddle, that was a metaphor, right?” 

//

Josie is in her patient’s room with Bennett and Williams, presenting the new case.

“Barry Lang. 54. Has stage 3B non small cell lung cancer with possible invasion of the pleura. And a history of COPD. He's had extensive chemo-radiotherapy with minimal regression of the tumor. He's been admitted for radical and block re-section.” 

“I was a smoker. The oncologist, he explained that I have a 25% chance of surviving the surgery.” The man says.

“Well unfortunately that's about right. If you should elect not to proceed we can make you more comfortable.” Dr. Williams says.

“With all do respect ah- there's no way you can make a man dying a slow death comfortable.” He chuckles. 

When they walk outside the room, Bennett stops to look at Josie curiously. Josie frowns in confusion.

“Do I have something on my face?”

“Just something like...guilt.” 

While Bennett walks away, Josie stands there with her mouth half open in offence. 

“I can’t believe people.” She whispers to herself. 

She walks to the nurses desk and starts typing his patient’s information. Just then, a man in a leather jacket comes up to her and peers over her shoulder.

“Invasive non-cell. With a history of COPD.” He shrugs. “That guy's pretty much a goner, huh?”

Josie turns around to glance at him and raises her eyebrows. “Sensitivity. Something people are rather unfamiliar with.” She forces a fake smile, “Are you new here?”

The guy keeps smiling charmingly. “Kind of. I’m looking for the best doctor in here.”

“Then you’re looking for the Nazi?”

He frowns. “You have a Nazi working here?”

“Oh.” Josie chuckles, “Oh no, it’s just a name we use for our chief. Don’t tell her you know.”

“It’ll be our secret then. Something else you wanna share? Maybe your name?” He asks with a wide smile.

Josie smiles and narrows her eyes, looking suspiciously at him. “You have your charm, leather jacket guy.”

He offers her his hand. “I’m Rafael.” 

Josie takes his hand and shakes it. “Josie.” 

“Does this mean you’re willing to go out with me?”

“Well...do you work here? Because I have bad history with co-workers. So I made this rule, you know...”

“Oh well,” He looks at his watch. “I actually start in twenty minutes. Maybe we should have a speed date or something like that.” 

Josie bursts into laughter. “What don’t you do to get a girl to go out with you?”

“What the hell are you doing here?” 

When Josie hears a voice filled with anger, her heart suddenly misses a beat. 

_Hope._

She wasn’t expecting to see her right in that moment, let alone upset. 

She notices that Maya is with her too, and wonders why they’re together if they ended things and if Maya even knows what happened between them that night. 

“Hope. Maya.” He smiles at the two girls. 

Maya seems rather uncomfortable, while Hope looks like she wants to reap him to shreds. 

And surprisingly, she still hasn’t looked at Josie once.

“I’m, uh, the new plastic surgeon. Some..Nazi-Bennett gave me a call.”

Hope laughs bitterly. “This has to be a joke.” 

“Look, Hope. I think we should talk about this okay? Just you and me.” 

Josie is even more confused now. Is he...?

“Yes. You two should probably do that.” Maya grabs Hope’s arm. “Hope? Let’s not make a scene here, okay?” She whispers.

Rafael suddenly turns back at Josie who was awkwardly witnessing the interaction.

“Sorry about that. We just, uh, have some unfinished business. But we’re still on time to have that speed date.” He smirks.

Before Josie can give him an answer, the next thing she sees is Hope’s fist on his face and Rafael holding his bleeding nose in his hands. 

“Hope!” Maya pulls her away forcefully.

“Oh my God, what...” 

Rafael groans in pain as Josie tries to assist him by holding his head up and checking if his nose was broken. 

“Alexa! A little help here!” Josie calls a nurse.

While the nurse takes Rafael with her to get him fixed, Josie stands there in shock and for the first time that morning, she catches Hope looking at her. 

And she definitely hates her. 

She looks at Josie with hurt, disappointment and anger written all over her face. It’s like she’s frozen in time for a moment, but then Hope remembers that her hand is also in pain, so she moves her attention away, holding her trembling hand with the other. 

“You have to put some ice on that. Come on.” Maya walks Hope away from there. 

Both Alyssa and Landon, who had seen it all, walk up to Josie looking just as shocked as her.

“What did just happen?” Alyssa asks.

“I..I think Hope’s ex best friend just flirted with me.”

“Oh my God.” Landon says. “Can this get any worse?” 

Josie closes her eyes and exhales deeply. “I’m not gonna lose it. I’m not. I’m not.” 

“You’re not.” Alyssa states firmly. 

“Yeah.”

“He is sexy though.” Alyssa says.

Josie gives her a pointed look and then walks to Rafael’s room, where he is about to get stitches. 

“God. I’m so sorry, at least your nose is not broken.” Josie says while starting to clean the cut on his cheek.

“Yeah, I deserved it anyway.” He smiles sadly.

“You’re him.”

“Oh, you know who I am.”

“Yeah, well...remember my not dating co-workers rule? I just made it.” 

He opens his mouth in realization and starts laughing. “This must be a nightmare. I tried to hit on her new girlfriend?!”

“Oh I’m...I’m not-“

“Oh but you’re something. Or else she wouldn’t punch me.” 

Josie presses her lips together nervously and clears her throat. She keeps quiet, focusing on stitching him up. 

“We’re the dirty mistresses.” 

Josie smiles. “Yeah, I’d say that’s ironic.” 

“Maybe we have a lot more in common, me and you.” 

“You just had a girl kick your ass, more importantly your best friend, and you’re still trying to hit on me?” 

“This is our speed date after all.” He smiles charmingly.

Josie shakes her head and laughs softly. 

Meanwhile Lizzie, Jade, Alyssa and Landon are watching curiously at him from the window outside.

“His skin is so smooth.” Lizzie says.

“He makes me want to hide my head in the sand.” Landon says.

“He’s such a turn on. I wonder how Josie can look at him this up close and not have an orgasm.” Alyssa says.

Jade looks at Alyssa with a hint of disgust. “You have a boyfriend.” 

“Have you seen his biceps?” Lizzie asks Landon, her eyes fixed on Rafael.

“And you have a girlfriend!” This time she yells to the blonde twin.

“Sorry, I forgot about you for a second.” Lizzie pokes her.

Jade pretends to stay mad and hide a smile. “You’re a bitch.”

“What are you four doing here?! Are we watching a muppet show?! Get back to work!” Bennett yells at them.

This is what it takes to make them clear the hallway in a heartbeat.

//

Hope is in a room with her 15 year old patient, who has a brain tumor and also needs a plastic surgery for his face. Kids cases are always harder for her. She pressures herself to be careful, especially in cases like this one.

“Jake, I'm sorry. This surgery, the brain surgery...is very dangerous. I know Dr. Waithe has made you some big promises...but the bony tumors inside your skull are bad.” Hope says.

“I don't care!”

“The bleeding will be hard to control. I'm not trying to frighten you. I just want you to understand.”

“I do understand this...I understand this has nothing to do with plastic surgery. So, so if I'm going to be under the knife anyway then I-“

“I'm sorry to interrupt.” Rafael says. “But Jake is actually right.” Hope scoffs. “No reason to put him through a second surgery and a second round of anesthesia. It's much safer to just do it all at once.”

“Honey we just want to focus on keeping you alive.” The boy’s mother says.

“Come on mom. I almost died when I was ten years old. And then again when I was twelve. And then again last year. But, I'm still alive. I'm still alive. So, so I say we go for it.”

Hope shares a thoughtful look with the parents, while Rafael seems quite confident about what he’s doing. 

Fine. 

It’s almost ironic how he seems to be the bigger person, when he has never been before. It seems just a good way to make Hope appear as the bad one, the one that would start a fight for any girl.

But it’s not just any girl. It’s Josie.

Maybe she’s overreacting, maybe she’s just so immature that can’t stand to be in the same room as him right now, but she couldn’t care less. 

She walks out of the room, finally breathing normally again.

//

Josie is sitting in the computer office, uploading videos that her patient asked her to shoot before he eventually dies. It surely was not part of her job, but at least that gave her a reason to hide from Hope. 

“Hi.” 

Or not.

Josie feels her heart melt in her chest. She instantly turns around and meets blue eyes.

“Hi.” 

“You’re editing now?” 

“Oh, it’s um...something my patient asked me to do.”

Hope nods in understanding and keeps looking at Josie. It’s like she didn’t realize how much she missed staring at the brunette before now. 

“How...how was your experimental study? Did you make any progress?” Josie asks.

“Um, yeah. It was a success, actually.”

“Congratulations then.” Josie says forcing a smile.

“Thank you.”

Hope breaks eye contact for the first time since she got there and holds her hand in the other. Josie notices the swell on her knuckles and the small tremors. 

“How is your hand?” 

Hope shakes her head. “Hurts.” She says almost in a whisper. “But it’s okay.”

“You can’t operate with that hand today.”

“Don’t worry.” 

“I’m not...worrying.” Josie says, trying to sound casual. Instead, that seemed to hurt Hope even more. She turns her back on the brunette, but before she can leave, Josie stops her.

“Why did you punch him?”

Hope turns around and keeps quiet.

“Did you punch him for what he did with Maya?” 

“Yeah...that too.” 

This time, Hope walks away and Josie lets her. It’s a weird feeling of guilt and nostalgia all together, what she feels looking at Hope. 

She never thought she could see the day where Hope would be giving her the could shoulder and look at her with such disappointment. 

Without love, she dares to say. 

It almost feels like Josie is the only one who ever screwed up between the two, not Hope. Because despite everything, Hope was always there for her. Even when they weren’t together, she would always be in her corner. 

And a month away seems to have changed everything. 

But Josie knows that she’s the one responsible for that.

//

Hope is performing surgery on Jake. Up in the gallery there are a lot of doctors watching including Lizzie and Landon, while Jade is assisting Hope.

Rafael is standing near the side ready to start the plastic surgery. But all of the sudden Jake's heart monitor starts beeping rapidly.

“Oh, fuck. Alright I need another unit of blood!” Hope yells. “Put in the pressure and fusia.”

“No carotid. We've got V-FIB.” Jade says.

They all start scrambling and yelling different orders as Jake flat lines. Rafael grabs the paddles to jolt Jake's heart into starting, but every shot is useless. The line stays flat; they call the teenage boy’s death.

//

Hope is sitting on the table of the doctors common room with her hands closed in a fist on her mouth, her eyes fixed on the wall.

She can’t even feel the anger anymore. She’s just...sad. Losing that kid is all she can think about, and it’s no one’s fault but hers. 

Maya walks in silently and approaches her.

“Hey.”

Hope glances at her. “Hi.” Her tone is stern and cold.

“I guess you’ve been avoiding me.”

“I’m sorry.” Hope whispers, her eyes on the table. “It’s been a hard day.” 

“It’s okay...I get it, but you should talk to him.”

“If I see him I’m just going to punch him again.” She’s mostly joking, though.

Maya scoffs a laugh. “Hope.”

Rafael suddenly walks into the room and stops as soon as he sees both girls there.

“Oh, I can come back. I’ll just-“

“No. Rafael, wait.” Maya says. “You two have to talk about this. You need closure, just like you and I had it.” She says placing her hand on Hope’s. 

“Hope, listen...” Rafael starts. “I didn’t plan on falling for Maya, and I’m sorry. What we did was wrong. I’m sorry I was so blind that I didn’t even consider your feelings...my best friend’s feelings. I was..so selfish,” He sighs. “while you are the least selfish person I know.” 

Hope scoffs a laugh. “I wouldn’t know about that.” She pauses, “But love is selfish, I guess.” She whispers. 

Maya looks at her in understanding, while Rafael keeps quiet.

Hope gets up and walks to the door to face him. “I don’t hate you.” Hope shakes her head. She feels tired. And sad. She just wants to go home. She doesn’t want to be mad. She doesn’t want to feel this hurt anymore. “I don’t hate either of you. I never did. I was hurt. You were my best friend, my only friend, and she was my wife. And in one night I lost both of you.” She sighs. “I just need some time.” 

Rafael nods lightly while Hope walks out of the room. Then he moves his gaze on Maya, still sitting there.

“So you two are not together anymore?”

Maya shakes her head and smiles sadly. 

“Her heart is somewhere else. It wasn’t fair to either of us to keep hurting each other.” 

Rafael is quiet for a while, but then he walks closer to her. “Maya...”

“Don’t, Raf. Please.” She gestures with her hand in front of him. “I don’t want this right now. Whatever...this is.” 

“I just want you to know that I loved you, for real. A part of me still does.” 

“I loved you too.” She pauses. “But then I realized I loved Hope more. And even if now it’s over, I’m still healing from that.”

She walks out of the room without looking back, hoping that this time she could finally move on from this. 

//

Josie is sitting by the bar counter of the Mystic Grill by herself, intent to drink her second beer. 

It’s like she has specific drinks for her every mood. Whenever she’s feeling desperate she would get wasted with endless shots of tequila, while when she’s feeling sad, she goes for beers. 

She’s not used to drink like this, that’s why she always ends up drunk and doing stupid things. But right now she’s not looking for a way to forget. She’s just looking for a little bit of comfort- and she’s almost ashamed to say that she finds it in alcohol. It makes her feel like her father. 

“Josie?” 

She turns to her side and sees Liv sitting next to her. 

“Hi.” She says sadly, her eyes are small, like she’s tired and sleepy but forces herself to stay awake and drink.

“Are you okay?”

Josie sighs deeply and meets Liv’s tender gaze. 

“Do you ever feel like you have nothing left to fight for?” 

The blonde girl frowns and looks at her with sympathy, but also a bit of concern. She sees Josie like a superhero, someone who won’t break in front of anything despite whatever life throws at her, but this makes her question if that’s really how she is.

“Why are you saying this?” 

“I don’t know. I’m just...” 

She keeps quiet for a while. Her mind is filled with sad and dark thoughts. She doesn’t know if giving voice to them it’s a good idea, but keeping them inside just makes her feel like her head might explode at any moment. 

“I lost my mom. Then I lost Penelope. And I lost Hope.” She pauses. “Although I feel like I lost her way before then.” She plays with the beer in her hand, while Liv keeps looking at her in silence. “Then my dad shows up, needing my help. And I just...denied it.” Her eyes are filled with tears now, Olivia can see it when Josie finally turns to look at her. “He could’ve died, because I was so selfish. I am selfish. I thought I was a good person but maybe I’m not. I...treated you so unfairly-“

“Josie.” Liv places a hand on hers. “You are not a bad person. You are good. You’re the strongest and most determined person I know, even though I haven’t had the chance to spend much time with you, I know you’re a great friend and a great sister from what Jade and Lizzie tell me about you.” 

Josie scoffs a laugh and sniffles. “They talk about me?” 

“Of course they do. Those two are crazy about you. Everyone is. You just can’t see it, because you are too caught up in your pain and guilt for everything you did and didn’t do and everything you’ve lost. But think of how much you still got.” She smiles softly. “You also have me.” 

A single tear runs down Josie’s cheek. She nods in understanding and tries to hold back more tears. “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay. You’re my sister, Josie. And..I love you, no matter what.” 

Josie gives her a thankful smile and then turns her attention at the full beer opened on the counter and offers it to Liv, who smiles gratefully at the gesture and accepts the beer. 

They stay quiet and drink their beers for a while more, until Josie is too tired and Olivia offers to drive her home.

It’s when we stop being so blind, that we realize how much we truly have. It’s a tough challenge, really. 

Sometimes we have to force ourselves to go past what’s pulling us down. 

And try to rise back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pain is about to end


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to give Jade a big hug :(

As a doctor, you’re almost never allowed to give up. 

You always have to try, squeeze until the last tiny little piece of hope. You keep trying, and even if you fail, you try again. 

Progress is always preceded by a bunch of failures. Maybe it is all made of consequential failures at first, but eventually, you will succeed. 

Maybe life could work like science too. Maybe, after you try again and again, and fail ten times more, you’ll finally get it right. 

Maybe.

“This is an invasion. How did this happen?” 

Alyssa, Lizzie, Jade and Landon stand behind the rails of the second floor and look down the lobby, where a bunch of new doctors are making their way into the hospital. 

“I don’t know but I’m getting kind of territorial right now.” Jade says. 

“Look at them, do they think it’s okay to just...walk in uninvited in our home?!” Lizzie says getting visibly upset.

“That’s a cute one.” Landon points at a girl down the lobby, then he feels three pair of eyes staring at him menacingly. “What?”

Josie walks up to them looking around her in confusion. “Are we hosting a congress or something?”

“They’re new interns. And attendings too. Mystic Falls Hospital merged with Maple Hollows General, so now the hospital’s name is actually Mystic Falls Hollows General.” Olivia says coming out of nowhere. 

“That name sucks. They’re here to ruin our reputation.” Lizzie says with a hint of disgust in her face. 

“Guys, try to be nice, okay? We all were freshmen almost a year ago, so let’s not make them feel like they’re some...infective bugs.” Josie says.

“Oh they are bugs. I wanna squash them.” Lizzie says harshly, closing her hands in fists. 

“Wait, does this mean less surgeries for us?” Alyssa asks with her eyes wide open, capturing everyone’s attention. 

In a matter of seconds, all of them take off to catch the surgeries of the day before the new interns can, except Josie and Liv, who keep watching down the lobby as if it was an entertainment show. 

“Maybe I’ll find a cute intern. I haven’t dated since my last boyfriend broke up with me because he got tired of me trying to practice on him.” Liv says.

Josie looks at her puzzled. “You mean...surgeries? You practiced surgeries on him?”

“Yeah well, just when I needed to...you know, review some procedures in my head. It helps me.”

“God, you are weird.” Josie says. 

And definitely her sister.

“Alyssa would probably make a sex joke right now.”

“Oh yeah, I thought about it too, to be honest.”

Both of them share a laugh and then walk to the surgery board to check which surgeries they are on. While they’re standing there staring at the board, Rafael walks up to Josie. 

“Oh, my fellow mistress.” He gives her a wide smile. “Hi.”

Josie scoffs a laugh. “You do know that’s not a nice thing to say to your intern, right?”

“That’s a really trashy way to flirt.” Liv says looking at him dismissively.

The girl suddenly catches his attention, and he leans his hand to her. “I’m sorry, I’m afraid we haven’t met yet. I’m Rafael Waithe, best plastic surgeon of the state.”

“The state is quite big, are you sure you’re not _overstating?”_ She says emphasizing the last word. 

Rafael lets out a genuine laugh while his eyes stay fixed on the curly haired blonde girl. 

“I didn’t quite catch your name.” 

“That’s because I didn’t say it.”

“Well, as your attending I believe I should know your name.” 

“You’re not my attending for the day, are you?” He doesn’t say anything, proof that he’s not. She smiles proudly. “Then problem solved.” 

He raises a finger to stop her and picks up the eraser to take off an intern from his surgery, and replacing it with her name. 

Well, not quite her name.

Olivia scoffs in indignation. “Everyone looks at that board!”

“Then I guess you’ll have to tell me your name.” He says almost proud of himself.

Olivia glances at Josie and then back at him with an angry look. “Fine. Olivia Saltzman.” 

He smiles widely. “It’ll be a pleasure to teach you today, Olivia.” 

//

Jade talks to a nurse down the lobby and then walks over to the desk to check a patient’s file on the computer. Her eyes are fixed on the screen when a man and a woman approach the desk. 

“Um, Hi, we were wondering if we could talk to one of your doctors?” 

“Um, yeah, just a moment. Who?” She asks, her eyes still on the screen.

“Jade Montgomery?” 

Suddenly Jade looks up to them and frowns. “Um, yeah, that would be me. How can I help you?” 

The woman smiles softly and gasps in surprise. “Oh. We, um, we are your parents.” 

Jade’s entire body suddenly freezes. “My-my parents...oh.” 

“My name is Valerie. He’s Stefan.” The man smiles at her with tears in his eyes. “We were wondering if you had a moment so we could talk. I hope it’s okay we came directly to you.”

It takes a few moments for Jade to exit the trance she went in, but she does. “Um, I..I actually have some work to do.”

“That’s..that’s okay. We can wait. We’ll wait here in the lobby if that’s okay with you.” Valerie says hopeful.

“Um, yes. Sure. Okay.” 

Jade walks away from the desk as fast as possible, already feeling the panic taking over her. 

She hadn’t agreed to this. She wasn’t ready for this. 

She’s afraid she’s going be disappointed. She’s afraid they are going to be disappointed with how she turned out to be. 

Maybe she will start hating them. But she also couldn’t live with the weight of hating her birth parents. Maybe she should just send them away. 

While she’s walking in the hallway, she catches Lizzie walking in her direction, reading a chart in her hands. Jade grabs the blonde by her arms and drags her to the nearest empty room. Lizzie is confused and taken aback at first, but then she sees Jade and sighs.

“Jade, now it’s not a good time for a quickie.”

She notices that Jade is actually breathing heavily and rubbing her forehead anxiously.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Um, my parents are here.”

Lizzie’s eyes widens. “Your...parents?! Oh God. What are you gonna do?”

“I..I don’t know. They want to talk to me. They’re here in the lobby waiting for me and...and I’m spiraling.” She sighs deeply and then looks at Lizzie, hinting a smile. “I look so much like her, Lizzie.” Lizzie smiles softly. “And him too. They’re...so young.” 

“Maybe you should hear them out, you know. They even stopped going through your social worker because you wouldn’t answer. And to be honest, if my dad came to me like they did, just smashing everything in the way, I would want to listen.” 

Jade smiles and nods softly. “Yeah. Yeah I should do that. Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

Jade places a chaste kiss on her lips and opens the door to walk out, but before she does, she looks back at Lizzie with a questioning look. “About that quickie...”

“Get out. Now.” 

She instantly nods and walks away. 

//

“Daniel Gibson, 34, in for sexual reassignment surgery.” Liv presents the patient.

“Donna, not Daniel. She's been living as Donna for 2 years, come on Saltzman.”

Olivia excuses herself and then continues presenting the case. “So essentially, today we are inverting his...um her...uh..”

“Her penis. That's okay. You'll get it.” Donna says kindly.

“You know the steps for a vaginoplasty?” Rafael asks Liv.

“Not exactly.”

“Well luckily for you, I am your teacher today, so you better learn.” 

Olivia narrows her eyes almost wanting to kill him right there.

“Don't pay any attention to him, you're doing very well sweetie.”

“Better than I did when I first found out.” Her wife says.

“We just need to run a few pre-op labs. Make sure everything's in working order.” Rafael says.

“All right. Then I’ll be waiting for you.” 

When they walk out of the room, Olivia walks up to him and slams the chart on the nurses desk, capturing his attention.

“Aren’t you supposed to be a grown up? What’s with the attitude?”

He scoffs a laugh. “What attitude? It’s not my fault you don’t know things you’re supposed to know. You should thank me for even keeping you on this case.”

“Oh I’m sorry, best plastic surgeon of the state, am I not qualified enough to be your student?! Maybe I should teach me myself!” She bursts out.

“You really are a piece of work, Olivia.” 

He stares at her in adoration, while she slowly starts feeling intimidated all of the sudden. She clears her throat and looks away. 

“I’ll be the best teacher you can find here, I promise you.” He whispers. 

Then he walks away, leaving her standing there, sighing deeply. 

//

Josie walks in the scans room looking for a new attending, but instead, she finds Hope staring at some x-rays. 

The girls instantly make eye contact, and for the first time in a while Hope seems not to feel like she’s dying while looking at the brunette.

“Oh, I’m...sorry, I was looking for the new attending.” Josie says. 

“She’ll be here soon, actually. We’re on this case together.” Hope says, focusing on the x-rays again.

“Oh, okay.” Josie walks in and closes the door, but keeps standing awkwardly by the wall, as if she was afraid to walk closer. 

Closer meant being able to stare at Hope’s eyes. Lips. Hair...

Is she really this desperate? 

Josie thought that her feelings for Hope had lightened off, instead she was still feeling butterflies in her stomach whenever she saw her. 

But they needed space. And they gave that to themselves until now. Josie feels like they’ve spent more time apart than together, but what she feels for Hope has always been there; even when she was with Penelope and she tried to ignore and hate Hope, but the auburn-haired girl never made that easy. 

She’s been lying to herself all this time, forcing herself not to love her, forcing herself into other relationships, when truthfully the only one she’s always wanted was Hope. 

But does Hope even want her back? Would she take that risk again?

The last time she wanted to risk, Josie pushed the neurosurgeon to give up on her. And since then, Josie felt like she did.

“You’ve been standing there with your eyes fixed on the floor for two minutes.” Hope says smiling softly, which makes Josie smile too.

“Sorry, I was just...in my head for a moment.”

“Oh yeah? How many friends do you have in there?” 

Josie laughs. “Thank God none. I have enough living under my roof.” 

“You should move in a trailer like I did.” 

Josie gasps in surprise. “You did what?!” 

Hope smiles amused. “Well, when I went to Boston I left my apartment and when I came back I didn’t feel like finding another. So I bought a small property, rented a trailer and- I also have a really nice Old Mill there.” 

“You did not!”

The room was just filled with laughter now.

“Why can’t you believe me?” Hope says smiling.

“Because you had an amazing tub that was twice your bed! I loved that tub!” 

“Yeah well, I stopped using it after...” 

The room goes quiet and the smiles on their faces slowly fades. Hope looks away smiling sadly at herself and then clears her throat. 

In that same moment the door opens revealing two new doctors, a blonde woman and a brunette. 

“Good morning, Dr. Mikaelson, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” The brunette says shaking hands with Hope. 

“Well I don’t believe we need introductions, do we?” The blonde with a British accent says smirking at Hope, then she meets Josie’s gaze and leans her hand. “Rebekah Mikaelson, my pleasure.” 

A... _Mikaelson?_ _She’s not another wife, is she?_

Since Josie was clearly confused and lost in thoughts, Hope decides to explain it for her. “Dr. Parker, um, Dr. Mikaelson is my aunt Rebekah. She’s the new chief of peds.“ 

“Ohh.” Josie nods in understanding and smiles politely. “The pleasure is mine.”

“This is Dr. Parker, one of the best interns we have here, if not _the_ best,” Hope smiles softly at Josie, who smiles back at her. “Dr. Davina Claire is the new attending for Ortho.” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Josie says. 

“I heard a lot about you, Josie. I hope I’ll get to see your rumored talent in action.” Rebekah says staring at her intently.

It’s like she was testing her. Wonderful. 

Maybe she knows everything. Maybe she’ll make her life miserable now. 

It’s time to move to the fucking Caribbean.

”So what do we have here?” Davina asks.

Thank God for this one.

“Car accident. Lila Martin, 35, got stuck in the car for too long and now risks paralysis. She is six months pregnant. The baby seems to be safe for now, but if the spinal surgery goes wrong the pregnancy might have to end sooner.” Josie says presenting the case.

“I see her left hip dislocated, I think we should start from the hip and then Hope can jump in. I’m afraid that if she has complications during the spinal surgery she won’t have the strength to face the second part of the surgery.” Davina suggests.

“I agree.” Hope says.

“I’ll be monitoring the baby and if we’ll need to pull it out, then I can step in.” Rebekah says. 

“All right then, Josie, book the O.R. You scrub in.” Hope says. 

Josie nods and does as she’s asked to. It’s kind of weird, how she quickly changed her mind despite Rebekah scaring her at first. She finally feels like she can talk to Hope and work with her without wanting to run off somewhere else. 

But that doesn’t really come as a surprise.

Hope has always been her favorite place.

//

Jade walks hesitantly in the lobby towards her parents, who are sitting on the couch by the wall. She takes a deep breath and walks faster; as Valerie and Stefan see Jade approach them, they stand up and smile softly at her. 

“Hello again.” Valerie says with a tender smile.

“Hi...” Jade sits on the chair in front of them as they take their seat again. She nervously rubs her sweaty hands on her pants and clears her throat. “So..”

“We know that this must be hard and disorienting for you...”

“Yeah, kinda.” She chuckles nervously.

“But we want to tell you the truth. What really happened.” Stefan says, and he takes Jade’s silence as a sign to go on. “Before you were born, we did all we could to keep you safe from people who didn’t want your mother to go through with her pregnancy. They weren’t very fond of me and they wanted their daughter to marry a respectable man and start a family with a good name. That couldn’t happen if..if your mother had you.” He pauses and Valerie goes on.

“But we fought for you.” She smiles between tears. “We left the country and decided that we would raise you away from here. We were happy for a while. But those people...my own family, didn’t give up. At first they made me think that they were sorry and they wanted to welcome us back home. They wanted their niece to grow up in a safe and loving home. And I foolishly believed them.” She pauses. “They tried to poison me.” 

Jade exhales deeply, trying to take in all these informations that seemed too surreal to even be true.

“Of course I pretended I didn’t suspect it was them who did it. It was..probably the worst day of my life. Luckily a good doctor helped me and said that I needed to give birth if I wanted you to survive. But as you were born..they told me you didn’t make it.  
And I believed them. But knowing what they did to you...I couldn’t stand being in that house. We just fled away where they wouldn’t be able to find me.” 

Jade has her mouth half open in shock as she keeps listening, but then a doubt hits her.

“Um, how..how did you find out I was alive then?” 

“Turns out my two cousins, who were nurses at the hospital when you were born...they gave you into adoption. They knew the while time. I didn’t know this until a few months ago, when my parents passed away and so my cousins were free from their threats.”

Jade shakes her head, feeling too much overwhelmed by this insanity.

“This..this is fiction. It’s madness. This can’t be true.”

Stefan and Valerie share a worried look because of her reaction. 

“It is true. I swear. Jade, we would’ve never, ever abandoned you.” Valerie says placing a hand on Jade’s knee. 

Jade avoids the contact and keeps shaking her head in denial. 

“You really never doubted that it could’ve been a lie? That maybe I wasn’t really dead?!” She starts raising her voice.

“Jade...” Stefan starts.

“No!” Jade scoffs. “Do you know that I was never adopted? That I lived in an orphanage until I was 14? I only got out of there when my social worker told me I could stay with her. She helped me with my studies, she helped me to get into med school and thank God and her for that. But really, you never wondered once in 22 years if I might be somewhere out there?!” 

“We...” Stefan tries to say something, but he doesn’t really know what to say. “We really thought you weren’t.” 

“I’m so sorry Jade. We both are. Of course we wondered, but we never really searched because...grieving you was so hard and even thinking of opening that door for a small glimmer of hope...was just too much.” She pauses. “But it’s not too late.” Valerie says on the verge of crying. 

Jade raises her eyebrows and scoffs. “Not too late? Do you..” She starts crying before she can stop herself from doing so. “Do you even imagine how it was for me to never have a mom or a dad? That I never called someone that? I..I grew up by myself. Whenever I cried, I never thought ‘I want my mom’ or ‘I want my dad’. At some point, I started thinking that not having parents was normal.” She laughs bitterly between tears. “Can a six year old kid think something like that?!”

“No, you can’t...”

“Exactly!” She yells, catching the attention of everyone in the lobby. “You two were the fantasy I had until I was old enough to understand that no one was coming for me. That I was alone in this world and that was just how things were.”  
She sniffles. 

The three of them stay quiet for a while. Jade tears her eyes to her side and sees Lizzie standing there in a corner with a soft look. 

Jade looks back at Stefan and Valerie. “I...I don’t need you. And I think you should go.” 

Jade storms away before they can say something more to her, feeling too much anger all at once. Meanwhile Lizzie follows her, even though Jade won’t stop walking, wanting to get as far away as possible from the pain and sadness she was feeling. 

//

“Guess what I'm doing today? Removing a man's penis.” Liv says sitting around the table. 

“You got an S. R. S? Seriously?” Alyssa asks.

“He...She is one of Waithe’s patients.”

“Oh, that should be me. I should be turning a penis to a vagina. That should be my penis.” Alyssa protests.

Liv looks at her bewildered. “You are the weirdest person I know.”

“That’s nice, the feeling is mutual.” Alyssa forces a smile.

Josie joins them at the table and takes a bite of her apple. “I’m working with three hot doctors and I’m in love with one of them.” 

“Should we play kiss-marry-kill?” Alyssa asks.

“I would use all three on Hope.” Josie says.

“Oh so we’re back on Mikaelson now?” Landon asks. 

“When was she ever not on Mikaelson?” Alyssa asks.

“I feel like everything Alyssa says has a double meaning.” Olivia says frowning. 

Both Landon and Josie chuckle in response. 

“One of them is Hope’s aunt.” Josie says abandoning her head on the table. 

“Another Mikaelson in the hospital? We’re screwed.” Alyssa says. “How is she?”

“I think she might know something and might also hate me, but I’m not sure.” 

“Josie, I really think it’s about time you fix things with Hope. You said it yourself, you love her. And what happened a month ago it’s already in the past. Hope is here and she’s only waiting for you to say something.” Landon says. 

“All jokes aside, bird boy is right Jo.” Alyssa says with a serious face. “Stop denying yourself what you want. You’ve punished yourself enough and you’ve also punished Hope by doing this.” 

“I don’t really know Hope that much, but I can tell she looks for you whenever you’re around. It’s so obvious it pains her, yet she still does it. It’s like she takes what she can get and if all she gets is only to look at you from the other side of the room, then she’s okay with that.” Liv says. 

Josie feels horrible, sick to her stomach, utterly miserable. She knows she had hurt Hope so much, and everything her friends were saying was helping her realize that she really needed to do something, but at the same time it really wasn’t helping her feeling better. 

“You’re right guys. I’m...God, I feel terrible.”

“Again, Jo, stop with the self guilt.” Landon tells her resting a hand on hers and shaking it to cheer up. Josie smiles softly. 

At the same moment Lizzie walks up to the table looking quite upset. “Jo? Um, could you come with me for a moment? It’s Jade.” 

Josie frowns and instantly stands up. “Sure, okay.” 

While the two sisters walk away, Alyssa looks over Liv’s shoulder and catches Rafael staring at her from afar.

“I think someone has an eye out for you.” Alyssa says taking a sip of her coke.

Olivia turns around and then instantly turns back and sighs. “God, it’s a nightmare.” 

“What are you talking about? It’s like living a sex dream, only awake.” 

Olivia rolls her eyes and decides to walk out of the cafeteria and far away from Rafael. 

//

“The test results don't lie.” Rafael says to Donna.

“Breast cancer?”

“I'm sorry...I'm really...the needle aspiration showed abnormal cells in your tissue. Rare, but it happens.”

“So the hormones I've been taking have been feeding the breast cancer?” She asks, completely devastated.

“Yes, that's why we need to stop the hormone therapy and start the treatment. Once we stop the hormones your breasts will shrink, your facial hair will grow back...”

“She'll be a man again.” Her wife says. 

“What if we do the operation? I keep taking the hormones, what then?” 

“Donna you really want to treat this now while it's still in its early stages.“

“So if I keep taking the hormones...”

“You'd be feeding the cancer.” Olivia adds.

“I could die? Are you saying if I become a woman, I could die?” She asks tearing up.

Both women are upset, and both Olivia and Rafael feel sorry for not being able to do more. They give the two of them a minute, while Olivia follows Rafael outside.

“It’s not fair. She just wants to be herself and she can’t. It sucks. It sucks and it’s not fair.” She says angrily. 

“I know Liv, but it’s either she dies as herself accelerating her cancer or she fights and..” He shrugs sadly. “Sometimes we fail, it’s part of the job.”

“Did you just call me Liv?”

He smiles. “You have a problem with that?”

She frowns. “No. It’s just..only my family uses that nickname for me.” 

“Oh, then I guess that makes me special. Maybe you should buy me a drink, or something.” He smirks.

Olivia chuckles softly. “Yeah, sure. Goodnight Dr. Waithe.” She says and then walks away, while Rafael keeps staring at her until she turns around the corner and can’t see her anymore. 

//

Josie is sitting by the bar counter by herself, but then Rafael walks up to her. 

“So, I guess I could ask the Parker sister for a drink.”

“You asked my sister out?” Josie scoffs. “She knows better than to start dating an attending.” 

“Oh right, you told her about your rule.”

Josie raises her beer as to make a toast and takes a long sip. 

“I wonder how long you can really go without breaking that rule.” Rafael says looking at her in a challenging way. 

Josie winks at him and smacks her lips. “You’ll see.” 

“All right. I’ll go freshen up. You, uh, you stay put.” He says. 

Josie smiles shakes her head, then takes another sip of her beer. 

“Hi.“ 

Josie turns to her side and meets blue sparkling eyes and red lips open in a soft smile. 

“Hey.” 

Josie suddenly has an idea. A fucked up, stupid and crazy idea, but it was worth the shot. Maybe alcohol was giving her the push she needed to do this.

“Hi, I’m Josie.” She offers her hand to Hope, who hesitantly takes it.

“What are you doing?” Hope asks in confusion, but still smiling.

“Do you remember the night we met?” 

“Um, yeah. I would be surprised if _you_ remembered though.” She chuckles.

Josie gasps in shock. “Excuse me?!”

Hope grins in amusement. “You were already half gone when I approached you. And, you didn’t even remember my name in the morning.” 

Josie presses he lips together and smiles softly. “Okay, fine.” She straightens her posture and turns to her side to face the auburn haired girl. “Then this time, I’ll introduce myself, and I promise...I will remember your name in the morning.”

Hope keeps smiling, although her smile hides a shadow of sadness that Josie can’t quite see. 

“Hi. I’m Josie.” 

Hope raises her gaze to meet Josie’s; it’s in that moment that Josie really sees it.

“You walked away, Josie. You...hurt me. You wanted me and then you didn’t.” 

Josie’s smile fades and now her sadness matches Hope’s. 

“I know...and it was the biggest mistake of my life. And I’m so tired of hurting us both...I never want to do that again.” She stares into blue eyes for a moment, mesmerized. “It was always you, Hope.”

Hope keeps staring at her in silence for a while more, until she looks away and then leans her hand to the brunette.

“Hope Andrea Mikaelson.” 

Josie takes Hope’s hand and squeezes her eyes while biting her bottom lip, feeling terrible once again. “Your middle name is Andrea?”

Hope scoffs a laugh. “See? I told you, you were wasted.” 

Both of them start laughing again. And that’s how the night goes on. 

As Rafael gets back from the bathroom and sees the two girls together, he knows Josie has already broken her rule. 

And hopefully this time, they’ll finally get it right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be way too much fluff coming next


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✨ fluff ✨

Just like everything can fall into pieces, everything also falls into place. And when that happens, it’s the best feeling in the world. 

Being a surgeon really isn’t everything, because at the end of the day, we all need a little bit of love. A little bit of more. 

You just have to go for it.

It’s early in the morning and Josie and Hope are both in Josie’s tub. Josie rests her back against Hope’s naked chest, while their bodies are covered in bubbles till their necks. 

Hope moves Josie’s hair to one side, tracing a trail of gentle kisses, meanwhile her hands run down Josie’s hips, embracing her tightly against her.

“Hmm, Hope?”

Josie really wants to keep some physical distance between them, but the more she feels Hope close, the more she needs the contact. It’s like they fit together so well, it would be a shame to break it.

“Yeah?” She says in between kisses.

“This is too much.” 

Hope scoffs and stops kissing her. “Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“How is this too much?”

“Because I say it is. Remember what we agreed on?”

“Um, I remember you suggesting and me not having a choice but take what I can get.”

Josie turns her head to look at her with a mischievous smirk on her face, then brushing their lips together. “And this isn’t satisfying enough?” She whispers.

Hope sighs. “Don’t do this to me, please.” 

The brunette closes the distance in a sweet kiss, but before Hope can try to deepen it, Josie bites her bottom lip and then licks it slowly, getting a surprised gasp from Hope in response.

“It’s..it’s not.” Hope says staring at Josie up close, wanting nothing more than take her right there.

But...Josie’s stupid rules.

“Am I making Hope Mikaelson shake? Oh that is so pleasing.” She smiles in amusement.

Hope tries to keep her confidence and not sound too submissive. Normally she would be, but Josie has the habit of teasing her and enjoying it too much. 

“Do people think you’re funny? Because trust me you are not.” 

“Maybe if this tub wasn’t so small...” 

“Oh, now you’re trying to make me regret leaving my beautiful sex tub?” Hope says pouting like a child.

Josie chuckles. “Maybe we could buy one and place it in the Old Mill.”

Hope smirks, sounding interested. “Tub sex out in the open? Consider it done.”

Josie starts laughing, but Hope cuts off her laugh by joining their lips together, an intense make out session following for the next twenty minutes. 

Until someone starts knocking insistently on the door. 

“Josie! We’re leaving! Try not to drink too much water in there okay?!” Lizzie yells from Josie’s room. 

Jade chuckles behind her. “You’re so dirty. Come on, Alyssa is downstairs waiting for us.”

Lizzie sighs and takes her hand. “Are you sure you want to go today? I mean we could call in sick and stay the day here or go to that shooting place you like.” 

“No, really, it’s okay. Plus, Josie made me realize how wrong it is for me to hold a gun and be a doctor at the same time.”

Lizzie frowns. “And you listen to her? She made a no dating co-workers rule after she did date one and then broke that rule ten hours later. She’s not the role model you wanna have in your life, trust me.”

“I heard that!” They hear Josie screaming from the bathroom. 

“That was intentional!” Lizzie screams back. “Come on, let’s go.”

Sometimes when things are good, our life suddenly seems bright and shiny. 

//

“Today is the day people. Today is the day when dark and twisty Josie Parker disappears forever. And bright and shiny Josie takes her place. You're probably not going to want to be near me anymore because the intensity of my happiness might hurt you, blind you, or make you wish you were dead. That's your problem, 'cause life is good.“ 

Everyone sitting on the bed looks at her in annoyance. 

“The happy and cheesy version of you is even worse, I can’t believe I used to complain about you before.” Alyssa says.

“Okay, Waithe won’t stop flirting with me and I don’t know what else to do to keep him in line.” Liv says sitting on the bed next to the others, who look at her with a frown.

“What?” She asks.

“Well, this is kind of our place you know, and you’re like...an intruder here. But that’s okay! You’re my sister, so you can stay. She can stay, right guys?” Josie asks giving them a pointed look. 

“Sure!” 

“Yeah.”

“Absolutely.”

Josie smiles softly and then glances at Liv again. “Maybe I can talk to Hope, she will know how to make him stop.”

“You mean she will probably punch him.” Alyssa says.

 _“No.”_ She emphasizes. “Hope has learned her lesson. She will be civil.”

Suddenly there are consequential beeps of everyone’s pager, a warning to everyone to get to work. The whole group gets up and take their separate ways, starting a new day to save lives. 

//

Rebekah enters the doctors common room and opens the fridge, looking for something to eat. But she doesn’t seem to find anything good or worth trying. So she pours herself a cup of coffee, but then she looks for something else in the food storage and gasps in surprise when she finds a muffin...that has expired. 

She sighs and drops the muffin in the trash bin, thinking that maybe she should just stop by the cafeteria. 

As she’s about to walk out of the room, the door bursts open and someone bumps right against her, spilling the coffe all over her lab coat and the floor. 

When she looks at the person in front of her, she meets a crying Davina, who becomes even more upset looking at the mess she made.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry..I’m so sorry.” She cries.

“Oh no, no. It’s okay really, don’t worry. I have a change.”

“God, I’m so stupid.” She sniffles. Then she takes a wet cloth to try and clean up the blonde’s clothes. “I’m sorry, I’m just too upset and I don’t even know where I’m-“

Rebekah gently places a hand on her wrist and catches the brunette’s attention. “It’s okay, Davina, really.” 

Davina nods and finally calms down, but Rebekah wonders what made the ortho surgeon so upset. There’s no evil in asking, right? It’s called being a decent person. 

“What happened?” 

Davina shakes her head and wipes the tears off of her face. “Um, that jerk of my boyfriend. I broke up with him.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Rebekah looks at her with sympathy. “I don’t know the story, but you’ve probably dodged a bullet, trust me.”

She seems sweet and it’s no secret that she’s beautiful and everyone has had eyes on her since she got there. Rebekah had the luck to work with her a few times, but never dared to ask her out for this exact reason. And also because maybe she’s not interested in women like that. 

But that doesn’t mean she can’t test a theory.

“Do you want to talk about it? Maybe with a cup of coffee at the cafeteria?” She smiles gently. “I still haven’t had breakfast and I can’t start working without having it or I’ll just be cranky all day.” 

Davina scoffs a laugh and sniffles, then smiles weakly at the blonde. “Yeah, I’d like that.” 

After fifteen minutes they’re sitting at the cafeteria and Davina is telling her all about her boyfriend cheating on her, abusing her during their time together and lying to her since she had been there in Mystic Falls. Rebekah listens carefully to the girl, feeling sorry for the way he treated her. She can’t imagine someone capable of hurting a girl like Davina. 

She believes her to be a strong woman, for sure, but on the outside the brunette looks like a delicate flower. Rebekah doesn’t think it’s humanly possible wanting to hurt her intentionally.

“Sounds to me like a manipulative jerk who doesn’t deserve someone like you. Or any girl. And it’s for the best. It wasn’t healthy and you were a prisoner in his hands.” Rebekah looks at her with tenderness. “That’s not how love should be like.”

“Yeah, I see that now.” She sighs. “I knew I was blinded by everything he said to me. He..twisted his way into my mind. He always did that.” 

The brunette lowers her gaze and caresses her own arms feeling embarrassed for looking this weak. If Rebekah has learned something from her psychology classes in college, it’s easy to catch that glimpse of shame in the girl’s face.

“Davina...” Rebekah captures her attention again. “You don’t have to feel ashamed. If anything, he’s the one who should be. You can heal from this. You have a new life here. And if you need a friend...now you have one.” 

Davina gives the girl a warm smile and places her hand on Rebekah’s. “Thank you.” 

Rebekah suddenly doesn’t care about testing her theory anymore. This was a good start. They have now some sort of bond, right?

And if her past history had taught her something, the most important thing was to never fall for a straight girl. 

//

“Hi, good morning Maya!“ Hope walks alongside her ex wife, who gives her a creeped look.

“What happened to you? Are you drunk?”

Hope frowns. “What?! It’s 10 in the morning, Maya. No, it’s a greeting. Used in civilized cultures in their civilized environments. I’m greeting you.”

“You're creepy when you’re happy.”

“Oh, sorry to shock you then.”

“How are things between you and Raf?” 

“Um, we’re still not really on speaking terms but I guess we can co-exist peacefully like you and I do.”

“Interesting.”

Suddenly Josie turns around the corner and bumps into them. 

“Oh. Um, sorry. Actually I was..looking for you.” She says glancing at Hope.

“Did you do this?” Maya asks Josie.

The brunette instantly panics thinking that she might have left some hickeys on Hope’s neck, which she definitely did. 

“Wh-what?” 

Hope chuckles at Josie’s panicked face. 

“You broke her. She’s all bright and shiny. It’s creepy.” 

“Oh.” Josie chuckles nervously. 

Suddenly Maya’s attention shifts to her pager beeping, then she looks back at them. “Gotta go. Bye.” She places a kiss on Hope’s cheek and walks away. 

Josie narrows her eyes and presses her tongue between her lips, then bites her bottom lip, feeling a hint of jealousy hitting her. She crosses her arms and clears her throat. 

Meanwhile Hope is still smiling widely, but then her eyes lay on Josie, and she gets suddenly confused by the brunette’s weird attitude. “Why do you look like you’re having a seizure?” 

“That was a kiss. On..” She points at her own face and clears her throat. “On the cheek.”

“Um...yeah, I felt it.” She brushes it off. “So what did you need?”

Josie scoffs a laugh and keeps quiet, while Hope keeps looking at her questioningly. But then it seems to hit her and she grins softly. “Josie? Are you making a scene?”

“I am not making a scene.” The brunette says keeping her tone confident and her eyes somewhere else.

“Well too bad, because I’m loving what I’m seeing.” 

At that point Josie glances at the beautiful neurosurgeon who is staring at her with a wide smile. She can’t help but break her shield and smile back.

“Stop it. I needed to ask you a favor.”

“Oh now we’re back with the favors I see.” 

“Hope. Andrea. Mikaelson-“

Hope walks closer and brushes their foreheads together. “Oh please say that again, but wait, let’s go into that storage over there.” 

Josie hits the girl on her chest and pushes her away, laughing at her face. “I’m serious.”

Hope tries to stop laughing and act serious. “Okay, what is it?”

“Rafael keeps harassing Olivia. Not really in a bad way but you know...I thought that maybe you can put him in line or something.” 

“You mean by punching him?“ 

Josie scoffs a laugh. “No. I want you to talk to him. Use words. Not fists.”

Hope sighs. “Fine, what do I get in return?” 

Josie crosses her arms and narrows her eyes at the girl. “Can’t you just do it because I asked you?”

“I am doing it because you asked. But what do I get?”

“I can show you the lingerie I’m wearing today.” She whispers to provoke her.

Hope’s eyes widens in shock, she licks her lips, suddenly dry, and shakes her head to put words together. “You..you’re wearing lingerie?”

“Mhh-hm.”

“You’re lying.”

“Oh...Am I?” 

Josie walks past her giving her a mischievous look that drives Hope insane, but the girl doesn’t say anything more. She sighs in frustration and walks away to go find Rafael and talk to him, still not really believing Josie’s provocation.

The girl just spends her days enjoying torturing her.

//

Hope walks into the doctors common room, where Rafael is making himself some coffee. As he sees Hope walk in, he glances at her for a second and then looks back at his cup, filling it with fresh coffee.

“Hi there.” 

“Raf, we need to talk.”

“I didn’t know we were on speaking terms again.” 

“We weren’t, but..” _Someone asked, I can’t say no to that someone._ “I need you to stop harassing Josie’s sister.”

He frowns. “I’m not harassing her. I’m teaching her, you know my ways.”

“Yeah, your ways are very debatable.” 

“Fine, you take her for today then. But you know what? This isn’t fair, the way you get to keep the three sisters all for yourself. Leave something for us single and miserable people.”

“Oh please, like you have a chance.” Hope rolls her eyes and walks out of the room, going to look for Olivia and head to her next case.

//

“Mrs. Castle is anemic and guaiac-positive, so there's definitely some internal bleeding, which looks like it's coming from a...frisble tumor near the ampulla of Vater.” Liv says.

“Yes, thank you for that, Dr. Saltzman.” Hope says.

“Dr. Swender told us the biopsy showed the cancer was back. But she said you might be able to take it out.” Mr. Castle says.

“There's a chance I won't be able to go in as deeply as I'll need to, but I promise to do everything I can.” Hope says to reassure them.

“Anything you can do.” The woman says. 

//

“Cakes and little place cards? Okay, he's turning into a girl.” Alyssa says putting aside the box of chocolate.

“I think it's sweet. He obviously cares about this stuff.” Lizzie says.

“This white chocolate one tastes pretty good.” Jade says while chewing. 

“Do you think he’s trying to make up for something?” Alyssa starts wondering, doubting about Jed.

“Oh.” Lizzie frowns and becomes thoughtful. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s just his way of being chivalry.”

“Oh, I think I know. The other day he was at my place and he spilled coffee on my beautiful Persian carpet.” She groans. “God, I started crying.” 

Both girls look at her in disbelief. “Well, you sure have a lot to deal with.” Jade mocks her. 

“Jade and I have other ways to make up for something.”

“Which surprisingly it’s not what everyone might think. The truth is: she makes me bake her three favorite pies.” Jade says.

“It’s the least you could do, you little rat.” 

“Hey!” Jade points a finger right on Lizzie’s nose. “You knew before we got together that I like eating in bed.” 

“And I told you to stop doing it because Arlo spends the nights eating crumbs under the sheets!” 

They keep bickering while Alyssa only stares at them with an amused smile on her face. Those two together are both cute and comedians, she thinks.

“Oh, is that him? I thought you had PLMD.” 

Alyssa chokes a laugh while Lizzie keeps eyeing Jade like she’s two seconds away from killing her. 

“You are on thin ice.” Lizzie says spelling every word menacingly.

“Wait, shush, Jed’s coming.” Alyssa whispers.

She clears her throat and Jade hides the box of chocolate behind her back, while trying to chew really slowly so as not to make Jed notice anything.

Lizzie wonders how her girlfriend can have so little braincells sometimes.

“Hey, listen, are you free to scrub in with me?” Jed asks. 

“Yes! Of course!” Alyssa says in excitement. She starts following him, but she turns around to whisper at the girls still standing by the desk. “See?! That’s how you make it up to me!” Then she disappears, leaving the two girls standing there laughing.

//

Rafael walks around the corner after getting out of his surgery and sees Liv walking out of the near O.R, probably preparing for a surgery. 

He knows better than not to listen to Hope, especially after everything he’s done, but he figures he can tell the girl how wrong it was of her to refuse to work with him. 

It’s just a teacher scolding his student.

“Saltzman, I hope you are enjoying your day.” 

Liv gives him a forced smile. “You too, Dr. Waithe.”

“And, um, just for the record, you can’t go crying to your sister so that she can make favors for you just because you don’t like your teacher. It’s childish. And unprofessional. Are you childish and unprofessional, Dr. Saltzman?” 

Liv opens her mouth in shock, feeling both attacked and offended. “I am unprofessional?! You don’t know the first thing of being professional!” She hits him on his chest.

“Did you just hit me?” 

“Yes! And _just for the record_ , you should really try to teach like everyone else does! Not trying to humiliate me in front of the patients or treating me like I am some little girl that needs to be scolded at every mistake! And I don’t need my sister’s saving! I am perfectly capable of looking after myself! And you..you’re just a butt-face and..and full of yourself..” She rambles.

“Saltzman, you made your point.” He says with a serious look.

At that point, she calms down and starts feeling guilty for lashing out like that, even though he might have deserved it. 

But why even care? 

She clears her throat and fixes her shirt.

“Fine.”

Then she storms away, leaving Rafael both stunned and pissed. 

//

“Mr. Castle.” Hope walks up to the man, still wearing her O.R scrubs.

“How is she?” He asks urgently.

“She did great in there. The surgery went great. We got the tumor, all of it with good margins.” Hope says smiling.

“Oh, thank god. Oh, Dr. Mikaelson, thank you. Thank you so much. Aurora keeps telling me that I need to be more manly about all this. I mean, after all, she's the one with the cancer. She's afraid I'm the one who won't make it.” He chuckles. 

Hope gives him a reassuring smile and places a hand on his shoulder. “I think you're doing just fine. You both are. Would you like to see her?”

“Can I?”

“She should be waking up any minute.”

As they walk into the room, Hope sees Olivia and Dr. Williams around the woman.

“What happened?” Hope asks in confusion.

“I was trying to wean her off the ventilator, but then I realized that she wasn't breathing on her own, so I put her back on her previous vent settings.” Olivia says.

“What...Dr. Mikaelson, what's happening to her?” Mr. Castle asks panicking.

“She may have stroked out.” Dr. Williams says.

“Get a CT. And also run an EEG. We need to find out right away if there's any brain activity.” Hope instructs Olivia, and the girl quickly heads off the room.

//

“Your wife's coma is irreversible.“ Hope says to Mr. Castle. 

“Mrs. Castle scans showed a massive hemorrhage in her brain. And the EEG showed minimal brain activity.” Olivia says.

“But that means there's hope, right? Because, at least there's activity. And...and her heart is still beating.”

“Only because the mechanical ventilator is breathing for her. When we turn the machine off, the heart won't get the oxygen it needs, and it will stop.” Hope explains.

“Why would you turn it off? People can live for years on these machines.”

“Mr. Castle, the advanced directive your wife signed specifically requested no mechanical ventilation.” Hope says respectfully.

“She filled that form out three years ago when the cancer was first diagnosed.” He argues back. “She'll come back from this, too. You'll see. You can't unplug her.” 

“Legally, we don't have a choice, Sir.” Olivia says.

“She's my wife. It's my choice!” He starts getting upset.

“It's your wife's choice, and she made it three years ago.” Hope says, keeping her voice still, since it’s important not to upset the man more than he already is.

“You said the surgery went fine. That's what you said.” He starts crying and breathing heavily.

“It did, but...”

“No, no. You're not a doctor. And you’re a child!” He points at Olivia. “And you're all useless. I'm done talking to you. I'm done talking to all of you. I want to speak with the chief.” 

Hope raises her hands in the air to gesture him to stay calm. “All right. We’ll call the chief. Olivia, please.” 

Liv quickly leaves the room, while Hope follows outside to leave the man alone with his wife a little longer. 

Right in that moment, Josie walks by and her smile seems to give Hope a sudden feeling of comfort.

“You’re literally the only good part of this day.” Hope says, surrounding Josie’s waist with her arms.

Josie smiles softly and caresses her arm. “Just this day?” 

“Everyday.” Hope adds. “I just want to go home.”

Josie looks at her apprehensively and tenderly brushes her fingers on Hope’s cheek. “Why? What happened?”

“Well, this woman has minimal brain activity and she’s attached to a machine now, she signed the forms saying she doesn’t want to be, but her husband won’t let her go.” 

“Oh, well I get it. I probably wouldn’t want to let you go either.” 

Hope narrows her eyes showing interest in that declaration and smiles softly. “It would still be my decision. And I’m not your wife.” 

Josie stays frozen for a moment, trying to come up with an answer to save herself from-this. “I probably wouldn’t want to let you go- _in an alternative universe.”_

“Oh, so you’re saying maybe we are married in an alternative universe right now.” Hope says, playing along with her.

“Exactly.” Josie says while grabbing the neck of Hope’s lab coat and pulling her closer. “The alternative universe me would keep you anchored here until she finds out a way to backup your brain.” 

Hope chuckles. “All right, Dr. Frankenstein, I’ll see you later.” 

Josie pulls her into a deep kiss and only when she feels like she’s had enough, she lets her go. 

//

“Vader syndrome is a genetic condition that affects the vertebra, anus, trachea, esophagus and renal system.” Jade manages to say, even if she’s quite gone. 

“Okay, that was an easy one. Lizzie! Um..what do you do in case of a traumatic brain injury?” Alyssa asks.

“Traumatic brain injury could indicate anything from a concussion to intracranial hemorrhaging. I'd start with a H&P, do a thorough neuro-exam and get a CT.” 

“Very well.” Someone says right behind her back. Lizzie turns around to meet a thin and elegant guy with iced eyes smirking at her. “You must be one of the good ones.”

Lizzie smiles, flattered. “I could be the best.” 

“Oh yeah, I have no doubt.” He says staring intensively at her. Then he offers his hand to the blonde, which she hesitantly takes. “I’m Sebastian.” 

“Lizzie.” She says, smiling politely.

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Elizabeth.” He places a small kiss on the back of her hand. “May I buy you a drink?”

“Oh no, thank you, I think I’ve had enough.” She chuckles.

“Well then, maybe another time.” 

He stares at her for a while more until he’s far from the counter; and Lizzie finally turns to look at Jade and Alyssa again, who are both looking at her in disapproval. 

Jade is probably a little mad, too.

“What?”

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Elizabeth.” Alyssa imitates his British accent.

“You might as well get up and follow him into the bathroom.” Jade says angrily, then taking another full shot.

“What?! And why would I do that?” Lizzie yells at her.

“Oh I’m sorry, do you feel attacked?” Jade says feigning to be sorry. Lizzie doesn’t say anything, she just keeps looking at her with a frown and watches her get up and walk away upset.

“Is she for real?!” Lizzie asks Alyssa.

The raven haired girl shrugs and keeps drinking to keep herself from saying anything that might worsen the situation. 

//

Rebekah is walking in the parking lot, looking for her car keys in her purse. But before she can find them, she notices Davina laying on a bench with her eyes closed. 

“Davina? Davina, hey.” Rebekah shakes her a few times until the brunette finally opens her eyes. She smiles softly and then stretches her arms. 

“Rebekah, Hi. I was...I don’t remember what I was doing here.” 

“Oh, you’re drunk.” She realizes.

“Oh yeah, a little.” She chuckles.

“Where do you live? I can drive you home.”

“Oh no..no. I can’t go home. I can’t.” 

“Okay then...you want to come to my place? Or sleep here at the hospital?” 

Davina looks at her with tenderness and places a hand on her cheek, which immediately sends Rebekah’s skin on fire. 

“You’re sweet. And caring.” 

Rebekah smiles. “Yeah, us girls gotta stick together. Come on.” 

She helps the brunette to stand up, since she keeps staggering left and right. As she’s about to fall back, Rebekah catches her again, this time placing a hand behind her. 

“You gotta give me a hand here.” Rebekah jokes. 

Davina stares at her blankly and then places a hand behind the blonde’s neck to steady herself. They’re closer now. Close enough for Rebekah to feel the smell of alcohol but also the perfume of the brunette’s shampoo. 

Lavender mint.

“We should go now.” Rebekah whispers. 

Davina keeps spacing in and out and staring at Rebekah’s lips at the same time, then she starts nodding slightly.

“Yeah, yeah we should.”

//

Liv bursts in the on call room where Rafael had just walked in to get a few hours of sleep. He looks at her with a frown, while the girl seems rather agitated and keeps moving back and forwards.

“Okay, now listen to me.”

“Oh Liv-“

“No. Listen. I’m sorry. I wasn’t any less good than you today. I was a real bitch and I see that now. And clearly I still have a lot to learn. And I want you to be my teacher, but you can’t be an ass all the time, okay? Because that way, I won’t cooperate. You see, I’m intelligent, a fast learner, a strong, hardworking per-“

While she was going on and on, Rafael just decides to shut her up with a kiss, taking her by surprise. At first she’s frozen, incapable of moving or understand what is happening, but then she melts into the kiss. And their lips stay connected like that for a few more seconds before Rafael breaks the kiss and they’re both out of breath and staring at each other in awe.

“Will you stop being an ass?” She whispers out of breath.

“If we keep doing this, maybe.” 

A second later their lips are connected again, then they start to undress each other, both careless of the rules and any possible consequence.

//

Hope and Josie are laying in bed with their eyes closed after an extenuating day, finally in each other’s arms. Josie rests her head in the crook of Hope’s neck, while the auburn-haired girl doesn’t mind sinking her face in Josie’s hair spreading out all over the pillow, finding comfort in the familiar smell and running her fingers through it.

“I may not be cut out for bright and shiny.” Josie mumbles already feeling sleepy. “It makes me too tired.”

“Me neither. We can be dark and lifeless together.” Hope says in a small sleepy voice.

Josie smiles. “You smell good.” 

“I showered here, I have the same smell that you have.” 

“No.” Josie gets more comfortable, crawling even more into Hope’s embrace. “It’s different. Yours is special.”

Hope keeps running her fingers in Josie’s hair, massaging her head gently. They fall asleep like this, content in each other’s favorite place.

Being a surgeon is never easy, but if you have someone at the end of the day, every sacrifice might feel a little less heavy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> • Periodic limb movement disorder (PLMD) is repetitive cramping or jerking of the legs during sleep.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

Accidents happen every day. You never know when danger and death is going to come at you. 

But we have so many plans, so much things to do before we die. And our worst habit is put off chances. Put off living. Put off adventures. Put off even feelings.

What if you run out of time? 

“Jade! Would you just listen to me?!” Lizzie yells at the girl, following her around the house.

They had been arguing all night and started the morning fighting again. Jade is still upset for how Sebastian tried to hit on Lizzie the night before and how Lizzie had played along with him. 

Even though Lizzie thought the girl was overreacting and Jade is usually the one that gives up easily in a fight, this time she was inflexible. 

And calling her a _jealous freak_ for ten times sure didn’t make it better.

“Leave me alone, Lizzie.” 

Jade places the dirty plates in the sink, then puts the food back in the fridge and the storage, but she doesn’t really know what she’s doing. She’s just trying to keep herself occupied, running from one side of the house to the other, waiting for Lizzie to give up and leave her be.

“Would you just stop for a second?!” 

Lizzie grabs the glass from Jade’s hand and throws it in the sink. It’s a miracle it doesn’t break.

Jade exhales deeply and looks at her with rage. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but if you’re not committed to this relationship, just say it! Do you want an out? I’ll give you an out! You can have all the guys you want, Lizzie.” 

“Are you serious?! For the thousand time, I was just being nice! I didn’t accept his drink, did I?!”

“Oh shoot! How could I not think about that! That really fixes things! Thanks Lizzie!” She walks away from the kitchen but Lizzie still follows her.

“You are taking this too far Jade. You know damn well that if I really wanted something to happen with him, I wouldn’t be here now.” Lizzie says in all seriousness.

That doesn’t seem to make it better, either. Because Jade scoffs and shakes her head in disappointment, decided to keep walking away.

“That’s even worse.” She says in a small voice. “So according to what you say, I can expect you to just go with someone else as soon as you’ve had enough.” 

Lizzie closes her eyes and sighs tiredly. “That’s...that’s not what I meant.” As Jade tries to run off upstairs, Lizzie grabs her wrist to stop her. “Jade, I said I’m sorry! What part of I’m sorry didn’t you catch?!”

“The part where you mean it! You know, I’m a different person because of you. I am better, because of you. You? You would run off to another tropical island with the first that comes your way!” 

Lizzie opens her mouth in shock, visibly hurt. Jade knows how to hit a nerve, and Lizzie probably knew that was coming. Her decision to leave her job and start traveling around with a boy was the worst thing Lizzie ever did to her, and she knows it. 

Despite this, she can’t deny that she cared deeply for Milton, because she did, and leaving him was not so easy as it might seem. She never really talked about their time together, but it was good. And she might regret leaving everything behind, but at the time, Milton felt right.

The only problem was that at the end of the day, she still felt like something was missing. She realized that Milton was safe, and Jade was probably a shot in the dark. But Lizzie never minded about taking risks, even for worthless relationships. 

She usually takes risks, so why would Jade feel any different? 

So Lizzie convinced herself that Jade was not who she wanted. Suddenly she was done with risks. But the real thing is that, still today, Jade was the first risk that she was really scared to take. 

But mind and heart sometimes don’t really work together.

“So this is about that? You’re really throwing that to my face now? You know what? Maybe you’re right. Maybe I don’t want this enough.” 

Lizzie walks past her, grabs her purse and opens the door. “Where are you going now?” Jade asks tired and confused. 

“I’m leaving! That’s what I do best, isn’t it?” The blonde twin gives her one last angry look, then she walks outside and slams the door behind her. 

Jade sighs exhausted and sinks her face in her hands, then runs a hand through her hair. She’s on edge and she’s angry, but she’s also not sorry. She should be, but it’s easy for her to get scared considering that Lizzie left once before. 

“Why are you still so mad about that?” 

Jade turns around to see Hope on the stairs looking down at her.

“I guess because I feel like I have something to lose now and I never had to fear that before.” 

Hope gives her a tender smile and walks down the stairs, standing right in front of her. “Maybe you should’ve said that in the last 10 hours you’ve been fighting.” 

Jade closes her eyes and sighs. “Were we really that loud?”

Hope scoffs a laugh. “Um, Lizzie’s room is across the hall. I tried not to listen, but even without super hearing I still could. Josie, on the other hand, slept like a baby.” She frowns, “Which, amazes me, to ne honest. So I spent three hours watching her sleep.” 

Jade sighs. “I’m..I’m sorry.”

Hope places a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay. Let’s just go to work, the day will get better eventually.” 

“Yeah, if you say so, boss.” Jade walks upstairs while Hope walks into the kitchen to make some breakfast.

The thing is, that when it comes to death, time is irrelevant. 

//

Alyssa and Josie are in their patient’s room, looking at his exams and updating him on his status. 

“Do you know how long I've been living with a colostomy bag? A bag of my poop is attached to me. Do you know what that's like? It's gross. It's truly the grossest thing I've ever had to deal with.”

Alyssa frowns in disgust, not really trying to hide it. “Yeah, I can only imagine.”

“And I'm starving because I can't eat solid food for 24 hours before surgery. Starving. I would eat you if I could.” 

“Yeah well, on the good side, that means no poop in the bag.” Josie jokes, making him laugh. 

“Okay, we're gonna get some blood and urine now.” Alyssa says.

“We are gonna monitor your blood levels. And tomorrow, we'll see if we can help lose the poop bag.” Josie says. 

“Great. I’ll be dreaming of a pizza now.” 

Josie chuckles softly and then she and Alyssa walk out of the room.

“I have a weird feeling.” Josie says, placing a hand on her chest.

“You’re twenty-two, you’re not gonna have a heart attack.” Alyssa simply says.

“No it’s not that, but...I don’t know. Maybe it’s just all the negative energy around the house today.”

“They’re still fighting?”

“Yeah, at least that’s what Hope told me, I was sleeping when it happened.” She sighs. “Landon is so unproblematic and easy, that’s why I can spend time with him without losing my mind.” 

“I have to agree, strangely.” Alyssa frowns at herself.

“Excuse me, could you tell me where can I find the chief of neuro?” A man asks approaching them. 

Josie is the first one to turn around and look at him, but she doesn’t think she has ever seen the man. “Um, I wouldn’t know. You should try the second floor. She should be there for rounds now.”

“Thank you.” 

Josie glances at the man once more, feeling the grip in her chest tighten even more. She places a hand on her heart again and takes a slow and deep breath.

“Jo, are you sure you’re okay? Do you want to do an eco just in case?” Alyssa asks.

“No, um, no. I’m fine. It’s..maybe it’s just muscles cramps.” 

She takes a deep breath and tries to shake off any bad thoughts and the clenching pain in her chest.

//

The man keeps walking through the hallways, looking quite disoriented and glancing at every doctor and every nurse around him. He tries to approach one of them.

“I’m sorry, do you know-“

But the nurse doesn’t hear him and keeps walking, rushing to do her job. So he tries again, approaching a young nurse in the storage. 

“Miss, excuse me, do you know where...”

“I’m sorry Sir, you can’t be here.” She says without looking at him, still searching for refills of bandages and meds. 

“I was just wondering where could I find Dr. Mikaelson? Or maybe where her office is?”

“Sir, I can’t help you with that right now. You should ask at the desk.” 

The man starts growing impatient. “I did ask! No one is able to give me an answer!” 

“Sir, I have a patient with seizures to get to, I told you, you should-“ 

Before the girl can say something more, the man points a gun at her head and shoots her. She instantly falls down dead, a pool of blood forming all over the floor. 

Jade is walking past the same hallway, and frowns in confusion when she thinks she might have heard a gunshot. That couldn’t be possibile, but she walks towards the noise either way and finds a man standing in the storage, while on the floor there’s Anna. Jade’s eyes widen in shock.

“Sir? What the-“

The man turns around quickly and shoots at her without hesitation. Jade falls on the floor, groaning in excruciating pain and panting heavily, while the man just walks over her and leaves. 

She brings her trembling hand to her stomach, eyeing the blood that was coming out of her wound. She whines in pain, but tries to drag herself to the nearest elevator, while the blood keeps pouring out, leaving a long trail on the floor. 

She manages to get on her knees to call the elevator, but then falls back on the floor, crying in pain.

“Fuck. Fuck!”

She keeps shaking and breathing erratically. She almost stops breathing at all, because the more she tries, the more it hurts. She feels her skin burning and her organs burning with it; it’s like every nerve and vessels of her body is being poisoned and pulled out of her violently. 

When she finally gets in the elevator, she passes out, giving up on trying to keep herself awake. 

//

Josie rushes in the computer’s office, finally finding Hope sitting there, probably doing research. The brunette feels a sudden sense of relief, seeing her there. She doesn’t know why she feels so clingy today, maybe it’s the fact that now that they’re back together she’s afraid of losing her again. 

She’s sure she won’t screw things up again, because she knows Hope is everything she wants and more. The girl had become the best thing in her life, and she would always fear losing something so precious.

“Hope, you’re here.” She exhales and goes to sit on her lap.

“Yeah baby, what’s wrong?” She puts her arms around Josie’s hips to hold her.

“Nothing...um, I was just missing you. Maybe tonight we could stay at your trailer? I really don’t want to stay in Lizzie and Jade’s drama today.” 

“It works for me. Oh but I warn you-“ She raises her finger and looks at the brunette with wide eyes. Josie wonders how can her pupils be always so dilated whenever she looks at her, “There are bears around the woods.” 

Josie chuckles softly. “Well you are a Mikaelson, you can protect me.” 

“Oh. Am I your protector now?” She smiles amused. 

Josie brushes their noses together and kisses her sweetly. “Mh-hmm.” 

“I thought I was too small for that.” Hope smiles widely during the kiss, while Josie giggles and keeps kissing her. 

“Then I will be yours. I’ll save you.” She whispers, moving her mouth to Hope’s neck. 

“Good to know. I’ll make sure the bear doesn’t crash our open air bathtub sex.” Hope says, still smiling at the feeling of Josie’s soft lips on her.

Josie gasps in excitement and starts clapping her hands. “You bought the tub?!”

Hope laughs. “I did. But remember the agreement-“

“Agreement is off. Forget the agreement. We’re having sex tonight.” She urges, holding the neck of Hope’s shirt in her hands and pulling her closer.

“My evil plan worked then.” Hope grins against the brunette’s lips.

Josie chuckles and gets up, leaving Hope pending for a kiss that never came. “I’ll see you later.” 

//

The man with the gun keeps walking around the hospital, that strangely quiet and calm. He approaches another nurse this time and asks her the same thing he’s been asking to everyone.

“Excuse me. Could you tell me where to find Dr. Mikaelson?”

The nurse notices the gun in his hand but tries to stay calm, although she feels a sudden a rush of heat and panic inside her.

“Dr. Mikaelson? She, uh, she’s probably in her office.”

“Yeah, I’ve been there once but I can't seem to rember how to get there. I keep going in circles.”

“It's-it's in the east wing. That's over by labs, across the catwalk. That's- You just gotta cross through the patient floor on three, then follow the signs to the main lobby, and then you should find it with no problem.” She says, her voice shaking.

“Thank you.”

His expression is unreadable. The nurse doesn’t know if he’s going to shoot her or walk away, because he keeps staring at her with a mad look. But he probably thinks her life can be spared, because he walks away without looking back.

The nurse instantly picks up the phone and calls the hospital security, then she warns Bennett, and quickly, the order of lockdown starts spreading.

//

Davina rushes in the ER where Rebekah is with her patient, while she’s about to proceed with a non-invasive surgery on a little girl. As Rebekah glances at the brunette, she sees the frightened look on her face.

“Davina, what’s wrong?”

Davina walks closer to whisper to her hear, so that the little girl wouldn’t hear what she was about to say. “There’s a shooter at the hospital.” Her voice shakes.

Rebekah’s eyes widens in shock. “What?” 

“The..the police are on their way. We are on lockdown.”

Rebekah stays still for a moment and then thinks how to secure everyone on their floor fast. “Okay, we need to put all the children in one room. Get the nurses to help you, I can’t leave this little girl in pain.” 

“Okay. Okay. Yes.” 

Davina rushes out of the room and Rebekah takes a deep breath and smiles softly at the girl. 

“Okay Sara, now you’re going to feel a little pinch.”

//

Liv walks up to the desk where Rafael is signing a paper. 

“Why are we in lockdown? What’s happening?” She asks.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s a missing kid or some patient trying to escape. It happens.”

“Oh, still that can’t be good.”

Rafael clears his throat. “Listen, what happened last night-“ 

“It can’t happen again. I totally agree.” Liv states.

He sighs. “Olivia, you can’t just pretend nothing happened.” 

“You are my attending, Raf-Dr. Waithe.” She damns herself for her mistake and sighs.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me that it meant nothing to you.” 

Olivia looks at him hesitantly; they stare at each other, and for a moment she feels like she’s almost there, that she’s about to say it...

“Saltzman! Waithe! What are you doing?! Put these people to safety!” Dr. Williams says looking at all the people around the lobby.

Both Liv and Rafael stand there confused, while Williams sees a man walking up the stairs to go on the second floor. 

“Sir! You can’t go up there. We are locking down the hospital! Everyone stays where they are. Sir!”

Suddenly the man turns around and pulls the trigger right at Williams, then to other two nurses, and chaos explodes in the lobby. 

Patient’s families and nurses start running all over the place to find somewhere to hide. Rafael instantly jumps on Liv and embraces her, surrounding her head between his arms and walking her far from there. 

“Oh my God, he shot him. He...he shot him. Dr. Williams-“ She whines and shakes in his arms. 

“Liv, don’t stop walking!” 

He drags her with him towards the elevators and as the doors open, they see Jade laying on the floor and a pool of blood all around her.

Liv gasps in shock. “Oh my God...Jade.”

//

Bennett and Landon are locked in their patient’s room, keeping quiet and checking at the empty corridors, hoping that the shooter wouldn’t come that way. 

Luckily, Bennett is a cold blooded woman and she manages to keep herself in control, unlike Landon.

“The police are almost here. I'm gonna leave you here.” 

“What?! You're leaving? You...you just said that...that nobody leaves. Nobody moves, nobody breathes.” He says panicking.

“Nobody but me. I'm the chief. This is my hospital.”

“But what if you get shot or-or-“

“Kirby, you stay here quiet, hiding, no one’s gonna shoot at you, okay?” Bennett says.

She glances at her patient on the bed, who looks extremely scared. 

“Lydia, listen to me-“ 

Suddenly there’s another gunshot that makes them jump in scare, and they see a doctor running just outside their room.

“Kirby, hide and keep quiet. Lydia, I need you to pretend you’re dead, okay? Try to hold your breath, stay calm. I’m gonna cover you with this sheet. Is that clear?”

The woman nods in understanding and tries to steady her breathing and stop shaking. Bennett hides under the bed, while Landon goes into the bathroom.

A few seconds later, the door opens and someone walks in silently. Bennett observes his slow and uncertain steps, while trying to hold her breath and not make any sudden movements.

But suddenly, there’s a noise coming from the bathroom, and Bennett squeezes her eyes and covers her mouth to keep herself from gasping, feeling fully scared now.

The man walks to the bathroom and opens the door. 

“Sir...please, Sir..” 

She hears Landon pleading. 

“Are you a doctor?” 

“Y-yes. But I-I..”

Then, a gunshot. And Bennett sees Landon falling on the floor with his eyes wide in shock and barely breathing. 

The man stands there a while more, then he leaves the room and Bennett waits a few more seconds under the bed, trying to hold back the tears. 

When she’s finally out, she rushes to Landon and presses her hands on his stomach. “Kirby, listen to me, you have to stay awake, okay? You’re gonna be okay.”

He keeps gasping for air while his body shakes in shock; he starts coughing, the blood now slowly running out from his mouth too. 

“I..I don’t feel so good.”

“He shot you under the diaphragm. The bullet might be right under your left lung.” 

“Dr. Bennett what do we do?!” Lydia asks.

“Over there is some gauze and some surgical pads. Take those.” Bennett instructs her.

“Hang in there Kirby, okay? Don’t die on me. Don’t you dare, okay?!”

//

Jade is panting and grunting on the table of a dark room where Rafael and Liv dragged her. 

“You're doing great, Jade. Really great. Now I need to make a cut around the entry shot. You with me?” Rafael says.

“Fuck. No. Please..it hurts.” She groans and cries at the same time.

“Jade, don’t scream, okay? You can’t scream.” Rafael glances at Liv. “Liv, please.” He gestures her to help him. 

She nods and takes a deep breath, leaning closer to Jade. “Jade, I’m so sorry.” She places a hand on her mouth. “It’s gonna be okay.” She whispers in tears. 

As he makes a deep cut on Jade’s stomach, the blonde girl lets out a muffled scream of pain, while Olivia keeps pressing her hand on Jade’s mouth, while caressing her hair to give her some kind of comfort. “Shh, it’s okay, it’s done. Stay with me, okay?” 

Jade squeezes her eyes to keep herself from screaming again, while tears run down her cheeks. 

“She’s losing too much blood. She needs a transfusion and then I have to close her up, she can’t stay like this for long.” Rafael says.

“W-well then I’ll go take them. I’ll go.”

“No, Olivia, you can’t go out there.” Rafael states.

“She’s gonna die! I can’t let her die, Rafael. You know what to do better than me, I..I am of no use here. You can keep her alive, I can go find what she needs.” She breathes heavily. “Please.” 

Rafael nods hesitantly, agreeing to let her go. “But if you hear something you run back here, okay?”

She nods in understanding and then leans over Jade, slightly conscious. “I’ll be right back.” 

Olivia rushes to the first emergency tray she finds in the hallway, looking carefully around her, while she slowly pushes the tray, trying not to make too much noise that wouldn’t allow her to hear if someone was coming.

But suddenly she is face to face with the man holding the gun. And she knows who the man is. She freezes.

“Mr. Castle.” 

“You’re the one who unplugged my wife.” He states. 

Liv feels her mouth dry and she can’t speak all of the sudden. She’s scared to death, but death is right there for her. She feels like this is it. He’s here for her. He wants to kill her. If he does, everything will be over, right? 

She doesn’t dare to look at him and closes her eyes, while he points the gun at her. 

Then there’s a gunshot. 

But when she opens her eyes she’s fine. She’s not hurt. She looks at the man and sees him on the floor, then turns around to see a policeman hiding behind the stairs, gesturing her to walk away; and she does.

//

Davina is sitting by the bed next the child Rebekah is operating on, holding her hand, while the little girl keeps whimpering.

“You’re gonna be okay Sara. Dr. Mikaelson is very good. And..and you know, she’s the best doctor here. All kids feel so much better after she helps them. She’s really good at helping people. And she always has this...” Davina meets Rebekah’s gaze. “This beautiful smile. Even her eyes seem to smile when she smiles.” She moves her gaze to the child and squeezes her little hand. “And she can make every day better. She will make this day better too, you’ll see.”

Rebekah forces a smile and tries to keep her focus on the procedure, looking at the screen next to her. 

Then she sees Davina slowly standing up and looking at the direction of the door. She turns around to see the very man with the gun.

Rebekah instantly places herself on top of the girl to protect her, while Davina unconsciously places her hands on Rebekah’s back, as if wanting to protect her, even though it really wouldn’t do it.

“There’s only children here. Please. Just walk away.” Rebekah says shaking, then whispers to the little girl to keep quiet.

“They shot me.” He pauses. “I..didn’t mean to shoot all these people. I just wanted..Mikaelson. She..”

As Rebekah gets that he’s looking for Hope, her blood suddenly runs cold, probably freezing her insides. 

It can’t be. Not Hope, not her Hope.

“Mr...” Davina says.

“Castle.”

“Mr. Castle, you’re losing a lot of blood. You...you should take care of that wound.”  
Davina slowly takes some bandages and walks to him. She hands them to him, waiting for him to take them. “Please, take these and go. Please.” She says, her voice cracking. 

He nods slightly and takes the bandages from Davina, then he leaves without saying another word. Davina instantly closes the door and finally lets out a deep breath, while Rebekah is still under shock.

“Rebekah? Are you okay?” Davina asks with concern.

“He...he’s looking for Hope. I have to...I have to find her.” 

She wants to move, she wants to go, but looking at the little girl crying, scared and in pain on the table, she can’t. 

It almost feels like when you’re dreaming you are in danger, and you want to run, because you know you have to, and you want to, but you’re somehow paralyzed.

Her eyes are fixed into the void. She’s frightened, almost like when...

“Rebekah, you can’t leave. This girl needs you. Hope is a smart woman, she will be safe, okay?”

“No..you don’t understand, I..” 

Davina grabs the blonde’s face in her hands to make her look at her, and it works, because their gazes lock together.

“Let’s help this girl, okay?” 

It takes a few moments for Rebekah to regain some sense, but she doesn’t, not really. She only forces herself to do the right thing, as a doctor.

“Okay.”

//

Alyssa and Josie are walking nonchalantly in the empty hall of the third floor, eating and chatting about everything and nothing.

“Things are good. But I don’t know if I can fully give myself to him, or trust him.” Alyssa says.

“Well, my best advice can be to check if he’s not married.” Josie says.

Alyssa scoffs. _“Please._ Jed’s not married.” 

“Do you think Hope will want to get married again eventually?”

Alyssa raises her eyebrows in surprise. “Why the sudden thought now?” 

“Oh I- I don’t know. It’s just...”

“Do you think she has a marriage trauma now? But I don’t know, maybe you should ask her.”

“Are you crazy?! I would freak her out. She might think I want to marry her now. I already asked her about children when we just started dating and she freaked out.”

“You did?!”

“Well she didn’t really freak out, she said she did want children.” She smiles softly.

“Aww, Mikaelson wants your babies. Ew.” 

“Come on! You would be their godmother. Or just their favorite auntie if you want.”

“Huh, auntie Alyssa doesn’t sound bad.” 

Josie smiles widely. “It doesn’t, does it?” 

Hope is walking fast through the corridor and luckily she finds herself facing both Alyssa and Josie. She grabs Josie by her arms and her look instantly worries the brunette.

“What are you two doing out here?”

“Wh-why? What’s wrong?”

“There’s a shooter in the hospital. You need to hide, now.” Hope pushes them ahead to lead them to the storage, but Josie resists her.

“No, wait. You’re coming with us, right?” She looks at the neurosurgeon with a frightened look. 

Hope sighs and shakes her head, looking softly at the brunette. “I will, but now get in here.” She says pushing her inside. 

“N-no. No! Hope!” She grabs her so tight, afraid that she could escape her. “Please don’t go. Please.” She cries.

Hope cups Josie’s cheeks in her hands and places a soft kiss on her forehead and then one on her lips. “Stay here. Don’t move. I’ll be back. Lock the door and keep quiet, okay?” 

“Hope, let me come with you, please.” 

Josie looks at Hope with actual terror in her eyes. Hope tries to take off Josie’s hands from her shirt, but the brunette’s hold is too tight. 

Hope glances at Alyssa, silently asking her for help. 

“Josie, come in here now. She’ll be back soon.” 

“No...no. Hope!” 

Alyssa grabs her to keep her inside, even though Josie keeps fighting her. Before she can grab Hope again, the auburn-haired girl shuts the door closed and hopes that Josie will forgive her for this eventually. 

Josie rushes to the window of the dark storage to look outside, seeing Hope walking towards the O.R’s corridors.

“Josie, stay down. Hope will come back soon.” 

She starts pounding heavily. “No..I..I had a bad feeling today. I knew something was about to happen. She..what if she..” 

Alyssa takes her hands and looks at her. “Josie, breathe.” She orders her. 

“I have to go with her. I’m going.” 

Josie tries to go past Alyssa, but the girl blocks her way and places her hands on the brunette’s shoulder. 

“Josie, think. We could get shot.”

“Hope could get shot!” She yells while crying and moving back and forwards, despite of how small the room his. She can’t stay put. Not when Hope’s life is at risk.

“Dr. Mikaelson.” 

Hope stops walking as soon as she hears her name and as she raises her gaze right in front of her, she sees Mr. Castle looking fiercely at her.

“Do you remember me?”

Hope nods lightly. “Yes, of course. Mr. Castle.”

“Then you remember what you did. What you and that...incompetent child, did to my wife.”

“Mr. Castle...I know what you’re going through. I lost someone too. My job is to save people’s lives, but sometimes I fail too. I’m human. And I make mistakes. I’m so sorry for your wife, but this won’t fix anything. This...won’t bring her back. So please...put the gun down, okay?” 

“You know what it feels like to lose the love of your life? To have her one moment and the next she’s just gone?! Do you know that kind of desperation?” 

Hope swallows hard, while keeping her hands up in the air. “No. But I can imagine.”

“Can you?!” He screams. “Can you really?!” 

He points the gun at her more determined now, while Hope keeps her nerves still and holds her breath. A couple of seconds follow, where Hope just feels relief that Josie is not there. That this is happening to her, and not the woman she loves. 

And it’s okay. 

But then she hears Josie’s voice behind her. And turns around to look at her, frightened. She hadn’t been so scared until this moment, and she tries desperately to make Josie step back. 

“Josie, please, go back inside.” Her voice is steady and commanding, but her heart is pounding loudly in her ears.

Josie looks at her and then at the man still pointing the gun. But at her.

As Hope figures out the man’s intentions, she steps in the direction of the gun and after a loud shot, she collapses on the floor. 

“No!” 

Josie has probably never screamed her lungs out like this. She has never screamed until she had no more air to even make the slightest sound, never until now. 

But before she can run to Hope, she feels two people grabbing her from behind and dragging her on the other side of the doors of the O.R section. 

She’s still crying and kicking to free herself, and breathing heavily in shock. Then she realizes that Alyssa and Jed are shaking her and talking to her trying to get her attention.

But her mind is anywhere but there.

“Josie, listen to me. We’re going to get her, okay?!” Alyssa says. 

But Josie can’t speak. She can’t think. She doesn’t see a way out of this. To her, it feels like her entire world has just ended. She feels hopeless. And for a moment, she lets herself slide on the floor, feeling every nerve in her body shutting down.


	27. Chapter 27

Lizzie shoulders herself in the crowd of people in front of the hospital, trying to get to the policeman talking on the radio. 

“Excuse me, what is going on?”

“There’s a shooter in the hospital Miss. But don’t worry, our team is already in and we’re securing the floors and getting out civilians.”

Lizzie gasps in shock. “W-what? How did a shooter get in there? What about the doctors and nurses? Is anyone hurt?!” 

“I’m sorry Miss, I can’t share that information.”

“I work here! Tell me!” She yells aggressively.

The man hesitates but then sighs and gets closer. “For now we have four deads, three wounded.” 

“W-who? Who are they?” She asks worried.

“I don’t know Miss, just that they are doctors.” 

Lizzie suddenly feels like she can’t breathe properly anymore; everything is on pause. Maybe this is just a bad dream and she will wake up soon. Maybe she will see Josie and Jade walk out of the doors just now. 

She regrets running away that morning and leave Jade like that. She feels stupid and guilty. And she thinks that if something happened to her, that’s on her too.

And if she loses her sisters, she will be all alone. 

It takes everything in her power to keep herself from breaking down. There’s nothing she can do, so she stays by the police radio, waiting for any update with bated breath.

//

“Alyssa, he’s gone. He’s gone. We have to take Hope now, she needs surgery.” Jed says. 

“Okay. Um,” Alyssa suddenly feels like everything is too much, but she has to keep it together if Josie won’t. “Josie, let’s go get Hope. Come on.” 

It’s like Josie is shaken off a trance she was in; hearing Hope’s name is what takes for her to get up from the floor and run out in the hall even before Jed and Alyssa. 

As she leans over Hope, she’s relieved to see that she’s still awake, even if she’s only breathing at times.

“Hope, stay with me, okay? Stay awake, please.” She pleads her. Hope can’t talk or even nod, but Josie just knows she will try to do so. “You can’t die, okay? I need you. I love you. You can’t die.” She cries.

Jed and Alyssa arrive right behind her with a bed taken from the side of the hallway. They raise Hope gently and lay her on the bed, then they rush her to the nearest O.R. 

//

Bennett goes back in the room where she, Landon and her patient were hiding after checking if electricity was still on. 

It wasn’t.

She doesn’t tell Landon that the only hope they had wouldn’t work, because electricity was off and the elevators were out. But he’ll know anyway. 

She sits back on the floor, exhausted, and holds Landon in her lap, trying to give him some comfort.

“It’s..okay, Dr. Bennett,” He swallows hard, “I know that this is it. I’m just sorry I didn’t get to..do a lot of stuff. I..actually I wanted to become a policeman. “ He chuckles, then coughs three times and swallows hard, the metal taste of the blood burning in his throat. “The girls thought that I wasn’t going to last a day in there. This is...kind of ironic.” 

Bennett shakes her head in denial and sniffles. She’s not an emotional person, but this is proving to be more difficult than she could have imagined. She takes a deep breath and clears her throat. “Did you make a list of the things you wanted to do?” 

Landon tries to scoff a laugh, instead it only makes him cough more blood. “Actually I...I did.” He forces another breath, “Josie...she knows. She’ll know.” 

Bennett asks herself what that means, but she figures that it’s not her place to ask, that maybe it’s a secret that it’s only theirs.

She hates that Landon’s life is going to end like this. She’s a doctor, she’s the best doctor in Mystic Falls and she can’t do anything to save him. And no one was coming for them. 

She’s never been so powerless and she hates the feeling. 

“Dr. Bennett?”

She sniffles, “Yes, tell me Kirby.” 

“You should...take a vacation. I mean it. After this...” He laughs, “You totally deserve it.” 

Bennett smiles softly and her thoughts instantly go to her secret. The kind that brings her joy, the kind that she won’t say. 

Maybe Landon is right for a change.

“What’s your happy place, Dr. Bennett?” He asks, breathing much more slowly now.

She thinks about it for a second, then she smiles softly. “My home, with my husband. If there’s him, there’s no other place I’d rather be.” 

Landon smiles weakly and nods. “My home is my favorite place too. With..with Josie, Jade and..and Lizzie...” Bennett catches a single tear running down his face, “They’re a handful,” He chuckles, “but they’re family.” 

Bennett only stares at him for a while longer, until she realizes that he’s not moving or breathing anymore. 

In that same moment, the door bursts open and a policeman walks in. “Floor is clear, we’re getting you out of here.” 

At that point, Bennett starts crying, feeling like her body was finally processing the trauma of everything that happened until that moment. Feeling this loss like it was hers, because it was. 

She can’t let Landon go, even though the man keeps telling her to leave. 

He has been her responsibility from the beginning, and he still is. 

//

Jed starts preparing all the instruments and puts Hope to sleep for the surgery, while Alyssa washes her hands to assist him. Josie is on the other side of the O.R., her eyes fixed on Hope laying on the operating table, hating every second of this frightening moment. 

“Josie, she’s gonna be okay. Jed knows what he’s doing, okay?” 

But Josie was far from being calm. She kept breathing heavily and she couldn’t stop panicking. It’s like every bit of reason and logic had left her. “He..he’s a trauma surgeon. The bullet is in her chest. What if she needs a cardio surgeon? What if..” 

“Then I’ll do it.” 

Josie stares at her with tears in her eyes. Alyssa softens and places a hand on her cheek. “Do you trust me?”

“With my life.” 

“Then trust me I won’t let Hope die, not now, not ever.” 

Josie nods softly and closes her eyes, trying to hold on to the thought that Alyssa would do everything she could.

“You stay here, we can’t have you in there. Don’t peek, don’t try to look. Just sit here, okay?”

To Alyssa’s surprise, Josie agrees. “Okay. I’ll be here.” 

//

Rafael and Liv are sitting in the room, waiting for someone to come for them. Luckily, Jade is stable for now and Liv keeps checking on her, even though it seems more like an excuse not to make eye contact with Rafael, who hasn’t stopped staring at her. She knows, despite the fact that they’re in a dark room. She can feel it. 

“Do you think that I’m a bad person because I slept with my best friend’s wife?” 

Liv finally looks at him, keeping quiet for a while before giving him an answer. “You’re a bad person if you know your actions are going to hurt other people, yet you still do it.”

“What if I tell you it was out of love?” 

Liv stares at him, asking herself if she should believe his words; if she could tell by his look that he really was a good person despite of what he did. 

But looking at him now, he shows no sign of bad intentions or evil. 

“I guess even good people make bad things out of love.” She whispers; her gaze focuses on Jade again. 

“Have you?”

She glances at him again. “No. I guess I still haven’t found that kind of love that makes you crazy...bad, or whatever.”

“Well, maybe you will find it.”

Liv can tell he’s smiling at her, even if only for a second, because the door suddenly opens and a policemen peeks into the room. As he sees them, he speaks at his radio. “We have another wounded here. Prep the team to wheel her out.” Then he looks at them, “Floor is clear, come out with me.” 

//

As Josie expected, Hope needed a cardio surgeon, giving the fact that the gun had lacerated the aorta. Things were not going so good, but Jed decided not to tell Josie about that.

“Can you see where the blood's coming from?” Alyssa asks, trying to hold back the panic. She can’t panic. It’s her best friend’s girlfriend here on the table, and she promised she wouldn’t let her die. 

“Not yet.” Jed says.

“Damn it. I can't see anything. Give me some suction.” 

But the bleeding was still too much.

“Fuck. No, no, no, no. It's right by the aorta. There's massive bleeding in the lungs. The bullet is lodged right next to the aorta and there’s a huge hematoma.” 

“Alyssa, think. What would Dr. Williams tell you to do?”

“I..I think he would clamp and sew.” She urges.

“You think or you know?” He asks urging her to act quickly.

Alyssa gets lost for a moment again. Her gaze focused on Hope’s open chest. “What?” 

“Alyssa.” Jed orders with a steady voice. “Focus now.” 

“Clamp and sew. Definitely clamp and sew. Give me a clamp.”

“Okay. Good. You’re doing good, come on.”

Meanwhile Josie is still sitting outside the O.R., holding her knees to her chest, praying that Alyssa would come out and tell her that Hope was okay. 

She can’t help but think of everything they’ve been through. How Hope changed her life and made it better, making better even the worst of times. There was no way Hope was going to leave her, because she was the strongest person she knew. 

Josie always thought of Hope as an indestructible superhero. As the only person she can see next to her for many years ahead, until she has just one day left to live. 

Now it’s too soon. 

They have so many more days to live together, many more things to say and things to do. Now it’s not the time. 

Suddenly she feels like she can’t take the waiting anymore. She knows that Alyssa will probably kill her if she peeked in the O.R., but she needed to know. It felt like hours, even though it was only thirty minutes, but she had to know.

As she stands up and turns around to glance into the room, she sees the shooter pointing a gun right at Alyssa. 

If she was frozen before, she is not now. She instantly rushes into the O.R. with her hands up in the air, standing far from the sterilized area.

As the shooter sees her, he gives her a dreadful look and then focuses on Alyssa again.

“Let her die. Step away from her and let her die!”

“I..I can’t. I can’t.” Alyssa cries and is scared, but she still can’t take her hands out of Hope’s chest. 

“If you don’t stop, I’m going to shoot you.”

“Jed, clamp the hilum so I can have better visualization.” 

“I said stop!” He shouts and presses the gun to her temple, she starts shaking and suddenly stops.

“Just keep going Alyssa, keep going.” Jed whispers.

“You don’t want to hurt her.” Josie says, trying to draw attention to her so that Alyssa can go on. 

“I think I do. And I will, if she won’t stop trying to save the woman who killed my wife.” He says looking at Hope on the table.

Josie cries again and keeps shaking her head in denial. “No, no, no, no. Please, if you really want to hurt her, you have to take me. See, that’s the woman I love there on the table. And she loves me. If you want justice, or revenge...you have to take me.”

“Josie what the hell are you doing?!” Alyssa yells at her.

“No. The only person I want is Mikaelson. She has to pay.” He points the gun at Hope again. 

“Fine! Then shoot me, okay? Shoot me. I’m your eye for an eye.”

“Alyssa.” Jed gives her a look pointing at the heart machine. And they understand each other instantly. 

Suddenly there’s a constant beeping of the machine that tells the heart has stopped, and that catches both Josie’s and the shooter’s attention. 

“Wha- Alyssa? What happened? What happened?! No...no.“ 

Josie brings a hand on her mouth and starts sobbing in the corner of the room, feeling suddenly dizzy. She needs to lay down. She needs air. She needs...

“She’s dead. Do you see?” Jed tells him. “It’s over. There’s no heartbeat. You got your revenge. Just go, please.”

The man starts stepping back while the room is still filled with Josie’s painful screams and crying, but Jed and Alyssa still don’t move until the man is finally out of the room and far from the O.R.

They instantly connect Hope to the machine again and get back to the surgery.

“Got a pulse-128. BP’s cycling.” Jed says.

Josie suddenly stops crying and her chest seems to feel lighter. She releases a deep breath of relief and abandons herself on the floor, still looking at Alyssa and Jed.

“Alyssa?” Her voice is still shaking.

“She’s okay Josie.” 

She exhales deeply. Everything was okay. 

//

Bennett walks into an empty room escorted by a policeman, seeing Mr. Castle sitting on a chair and his eyes fixed on the floor.

“Last night I went home...and she wasn’t there with me.” He pauses, “I never felt the house so empty. It didn’t feel like my life anymore. I’m not...the same person. I just wanted revenge. I wanted Mikaelson and the other doctor to die. I just wanted to take them, not all of these people.”

Bennett is strangely calm. She had been scared of him until a few moments before; but now, looking at him, she can see the madness of a sad and desperate man who just lost everything. 

She almost pities him, but he’s still accountable for what he did. For what she lost. She can’t help but also be angry, but she won’t show. 

“I bought a gun and a few ammos. I just thought...I won’t need many, I just want to take Mikaelson, then I’ll be done with myself too and join my wife.” He scoffs. “But I’m out of bullets now.”

“Did you think that doing this would make it better?”

The man takes a few moments to answer.

“I thought so.” He swallows hard, “But it didn’t.”

“I’m sorry for your loss, Mr. Castle. But today I’ve lost people I cared about too, by your hand. Mikaelson tried to save your wife and she couldn’t. She still paid a big price that she didn’t deserve to pay. You, on the other hand...” She presses her lips together and gives him a hard look, “You have to pay a well deserved price now.”

“Yeah, I know.” He whispers sadly.

Bennett turns around to glance at the two policemen standing by the door and titles her head to the side, inviting them to take the man away. 

She sits there alone a few moments more, suddenly feeling like she had lost everything herself. She places a hand on her belly, an unbearable pain making her bend in two. 

She knows what’s happening. She’s sure of it as soon as she looks down her pants, a spot of blood slowly growing. 

She clears her throat and stops one of the policemen at the door. “Sir? I need medical assistance now. Ask for Dr. Maya Machado.”

“What’s the emergency ma’am?”

“I’m having a miscarriage.” 

//

After the hospital had been fully evacuated, every patient was transferred to the nearest hospital to receive all the needed cares, since Mystic Falls Hollows General was now a crime scene and needed to be secured and cleaned.

As soon as Lizzie heard about Jade, she rushed to the room where she was and her heart almost broke at the sight of the girl attached to tubes and machines. She’s never seen her this vulnerable, and of course, she was blaming herself for this.

Liv is the one sitting beside the girl, apparently already awake. She smiles to herself and lets out a breath of relief, but finds it difficult to walk into the room. 

But before she can make a decision, her sister makes it for her. She sees Lizzie standing outside and gestures her to come in, while she instantly stands up and says one last thing to Jade before leaving. 

As Jade meets Lizzie’s frightened gaze, the blonde twin exhales deeply. Jade looks tired. Her eyes are small and her skin is still too pale, but that’s probably how someone looks after being shot and losing tons of blood.

“Are you just going to stand there?” Jade asks with a small voice.

“I love you.” 

Jade’s eyes suddenly widen in surprise, and Lizzie can’t help but notice how Jade’s heart rate rises on the machine right next to her bed, but she decides that it’s not the time to tease the girl about it.

“You- you what?” Her voice comes out almost as a whisper. 

“I was...so stupid. I just kept fighting you, because that’s what I do. I don’t see my mistakes if not after I’ve really hurt someone. It’s a shitty thing, I know, I hate myself for that...”

“Lizzie...”

“No. You could’ve died today. And I wasn’t here, because I walked away this morning and I just...I didn’t want to see you. But as soon as I knew you were in danger, every stupid thing we said to each other just didn’t matter anymore.” She walks closer to the bed and takes the girl’s hand in hers. “You have to know that I don’t care about anyone but you. And that I’m not going to leave, unless it’s with you. I’m not going anywhere without you.”

Jade closes her eyes for a moment and hints a weak smile. “And I had to take a bullet for you to realize and say all that?”

Lizzie rolls her eyes and sits. “Of course not. I already knew. I was just too proud to say it.” 

“Well, I’m damn proud too.” Jade says, mumbling every word almost as if she was drunk.

Lizzie smiles softly. “Are you?”

“Yes.”

A few seconds of silence pass between them. Jade wishes she had more pride than what she claims to have, because truthfully, she didn’t have any. 

“I love you too.” 

Lizzie smiles softly and squeezes her hand tighter. 

“But maybe I’m just too high now and I’ll realize I actually hate you tomorrow.”

Lizzie keeps smiling. “That’s okay.” 

//

Josie has been sitting by Hope’s bed for hours. A heart surgery like that will take time to recover from, but Josie swears on everything she has that she’ll be next to Hope every step of the way. And she knows she’ll be okay. 

If it wasn’t for Alyssa and Jed, Hope probably wouldn’t be there with her, and she owes them more than she will ever be able to give. 

After a while of only staring at Hope sleeping and looking at the line of her beating heart on the machine, Josie started feeling her eyes too heavy, so she rested her head on Hope’s bed, planning to just close her eyes for a few minutes, but ending up falling asleep instead. 

When Hope wakes up, Josie was the first thing she sees by her side; this instantly brought a smile on her face. Although her entire body is still sore and she still can’t move properly, she brushes her fingers on Josie’s warm cheek, finding comfort just by watching her sleeping so peacefully. 

Right in that moment, Alyssa walks into the room and smiles softly as she sees Hope awake and well. 

“Hey boss, I saved your life today.” Alyssa says proudly.

Hope smiles weakly. “I owe you one, Chang.” 

“Ah,” She brushes off with her hand, “I just had one of the most intricate surgeries with a gun pointed to my head, no big deal.” 

Hope’s smile suddenly disappears, recalling the horrible moment that preceded her being shot, and feeling even more guilty about what came next. 

“I’m so sorry.” She says in a small voice. 

“It’s not your fault. Plus, I couldn’t let Josie lose another person she loves. She was ready to take a bullet for you as long as I saved you.” 

Hope smiles and glances at the brunette by her side with tenderness mixed with sadness. “She was, wasn’t she?” 

She rests her hand on Josie’s, then her eyes slowly start to give up, and she falls asleep once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I scared you guys.
> 
> I feel sorry for Bonnie and Landon though :(


	28. Chapter 28

**6 months later.**

People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. 

Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don’t. Not really. We carry some wounds with us everywhere and though the cut is long gone, the pain still lingers. 

We hope that eventually our life will turn out to be okay. We grow up. Eventually, we understand how this thing called life works. It gets better. 

It has to, right?

“First she was only chief of neuro, now she’s the chief’s of everything for five minutes and you suddenly get a solo surgery?!” Alyssa says.

Josie rolls her eyes and places the chart on the nurses desk. “You’re just jealous.” 

Alyssa feigns to be offended. “Me? I am beating all of you suckers in the O.R. and today I will show the new cardio surgeon how good I am. I’m going to be the next chief of cardio within two years.” 

Josie smiles widely. “I bet she’s a bitch and will make your life miserable.” 

“Nothing scares me anymore, not even Bennett.”

Josie chuckles, then Alyssa walks away while leaving Josie standing there. 

At the same time, Hope walks up to her with a warm smile and Josie instantly surrounds the girl’s neck with her arms and brings her in for a kiss. 

“Good morning chief.” She says seductively, causing Hope to chuckle softly. 

“We saw each other this morning.”

“I know, but it was just us this morning. Now I’m kissing my girlfriend-the chief. I get never tired of calling you that. It sounds nice, doesn’t it?”

Hope chuckles. “If you say it, yes.” 

“You make the rules now. I could take you right here if I wanted to, right?”

Hope keeps smiling in amusement, but then takes Josie’s hands off of her. “Sure, if you want me to lose the chief title and you your internship.” 

Josie chuckles and pulls a strand of hair behind Hope’s ear. “Seriously though, how are you handling this?”

“I’m fine, really. I’m not ready to get back in the O.R. yet and I won’t rush into things and risk everything, so this is good for now.”

“Good, that’s good.” Josie presses gently her hands on Hope’s chest, while the girl holds her close. Hope studies her silently for a moment.

“Did you talk to the therapist today?” 

“Oh, yeah, um...I should be going now, actually.” 

Hope brings a finger under Josie’s chin to make the brunette look at her. She looks at her with tenderness and places a soft kiss on her pouted lips.

“You’re doing great baby. And I know you’ll kick that appendix ass today by yourself. You are way more good than I am.” 

Josie rolls her eyes and scoffs a laugh. “You don’t have to be a kiss ass, I’m your girlfriend. You already have all of me.” 

Hope laughs and nods in understanding. “Fine. Oh, I almost forgot. I have to tell you something...” 

“Well, hello stranger.”

When Josie turns to her side she sees this curly haired brunette, glancing at her inquisitively, while Hope seems strangely happy to see her. 

“Auntie Keelin.” 

“Oh, am I auntie now? We’ve been waiting for you to visit for months. We figured you would take a long break after what happened, but apparently you decided it was time to become chief.”

“Aren’t you proud of your favorite niece?” She kisses her on the cheek and gives her a warm smile. 

_She’s such a princess,_ Josie thinks.

“Whatever.” The woman says, then she glances at Josie again. At that point, Hope decides to introduce them.

“Josie, this is my aunt Keelin, she’s...the new chief of cardio. Aunt Keelin, this is Josie, my girlfriend.” 

Josie feels her heart jumps in both terror and happiness. She wasn’t expecting this. Rebekah had been a lot to endure the first time, and she wasn’t quite ready to deal with another Mikaelson. 

It also feels weird because Hope had just introduced her as her girlfriend.

Well, it’s stupid, really. Of course she would. They’ve been together for six months now, how else would she introduce her? 

It’s probably the way she did it, like it was so easy, so natural. It almost made her feel so stupid for wasting so much time they could’ve been together. 

She’s probably never felt in a more stable and balanced relationship as she’s right now with Hope, despite all the uncertainty and pain that preceded it. 

“Oh, I finally meet the famous Josie.” 

Josie glances at Hope furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. 

Had Hope talked about her to all her family? 

Hope stumbles back and forward nervously and clears her throat, avoiding both Josie’s and Keelin’s gazes, until she finally glances at them. 

“Yeah.” She smiles nervously.

Keelin hints a smile and then faces Josie again. “Well, welcome to the family, Josie.”

Both Hope and Josie’s eyes widen in surprise. Hope looks at Josie’s face and suddenly feels even more nervous than before, almost panicking. 

Does Hope Mikaelson panics too?

“Aunt Keelin, you’re scaring her.” 

_Her? She’s the one who’s sweating._

“Why? I thought you said she was the one.” 

Josie’s shock is replaced by a soft smile on the lips, feeling a sudden tickle in her stomach. It feels nice. 

She’s the one for Hope? 

Yes. That sounds nice too. 

“I am what now?” Josie says, still smiling. Hope knows she was now trying to tease her, but she was too embarrassed to play along with the brunette. 

“All right, I have things to get to. Josie, you have...your thing. Aunt Keelin, I’ll see you for drinks tonight, maybe around eight? How does that sound?”

Before she can finally escape, Keelin stops her one more time.

“Your aunt Freya will be there too, since we figured the best thing to do was move here now. I’ll tell Rebekah too and also...your father will be joining us.” 

Hope widens her eyes in surprise. “Dad is here?” 

“Yes, and he’s...curious.” She glances at Josie, too. But before she knows, Hope decides to run off and process this piece of information. “Okay, um, I have to go. I’ll see you later.” Then she quickly takes off, leaving Josie alone with Keelin. 

Maybe they won’t be so much in a good place when Josie kills her for leaving her there like that.

“Will you be joining us too, Josie?” Keelin asks her.

This is one of the reasons why Hope is the one who always gets yelled at. 

Josie would start yelling at her because of something she did wrong and Hope would just say Josie’s name almost like a plead and then stay quiet. She never really knows how to stand up to Josie whenever she gets angry. But she does try her best to make it up for her later.

“I-“

“Oh don’t worry, we don’t bite. I know our family will be thrilled to meet you.” She says.

Josie chuckles nervously and then nods in agreement. “Sure. Of course, I’ll be there.”

“Wonderful.” 

Keelin gives her one last smile and then walks away.

Josie shakes her head trying to focus on what she has to do, deciding to remove the thought of the family dinner until the next time she would see Hope. Then she heads to her therapy session. 

/ /

Liv walks in the hallways in the direction of the common room, looking for Rafael. They have been seeing each other regularly for a few months now, but they’ve been keeping it a secret from both Josie and Hope. 

Liv knows how Josie would feel about it. She would tell her that she shouldn’t trust him, that he is bad. Maybe she would get really mad at her and she doesn’t want that to happen.

Since the first moment she showed up in Josie’s life, their relationship was slowly getting somewhere good, but Liv was scared that telling her this might drive them apart. And she doesn’t want that to happen. 

But she also doesn’t want to keep living this in secret. 

She’s really giving Rafael a chance and since they’ve been secretly seeing each other he has given her no reason to doubt him, but she has to be honest: she needs more. 

She’s glad to find Rafael in the room, filling himself a cup of coffee. She glances around the room and seen that no one else was around, she closes the door behind her under Rafael’s questioning gaze.

“Hello?” He says hesitantly.

“Are we in a relationship? Like... _together?_ Boyfriend and girlfriend?” She bursts out, catching Rafael by surprise.

“Um, why are you asking me this?”

Olivia closes her eyes and sighs. “Because I need to know what we’re doing. Where this is going. We can’t keep sneaking around and seeing each other in secret. If you’re committed-“ she points between the two of them, “to this, then we can be together...really together, in front of everyone.”

“Liv...”

“I can’t keep lying to my sister, okay? And you..you have to come clean with Hope. She told you to stay away from me and you didn’t. If she finds out eventually it will be chaos.” She exhales a deep and nervous breath.

Rafael sighs and stares at her intently. “Liv, I am sure of this relationship. And I’m happy.” 

Olivia smiles softly. “Really?” 

“Really.”

“So you will talk to Hope?” 

Rafael frowns. “Um...Can you do the talking part? My nose still hurts from months ago.” 

“No. You’re talking to Hope. I’m talking to Josie.”

“Maybe you should talk to Hope.” 

Olivia smiles and grabs his lab coat to pull him closer and place a sweet kiss on his lips. “Do it tonight. I have surgery with Dr. Claire now, I’ll see you later.”

Just like that, Olivia leaves the room. And Rafael suddenly starts feeling like a coward. He and Hope weren’t really on the best of terms yet. They could work together, sure. But mixing personal life again would probably cost him another fist in his face. Was it worth it? 

Of course it was.

With Maya gone, he knew there was nothing he could do to repair what was broken between them. Hell, he doesn’t even know how to repair what’s broken between him and Hope, but he doesn’t want to risk losing something - someone - so good like Olivia. 

He would find the courage to talk to Hope. She is happy now, right? She’s in love, she will understand what’s that like.

He’s sure she will.

/ /

Davina walks towards the elevator wheeling her patient on his bed ready for surgery. As the doors open, she’s met with the blonde that has been occupying her mind lately. 

She hasn’t really had the chance to spend time with Rebekah with everything that has been going on lately; she hoped they would get the chance to work on cases together, but that hasn’t happened either. 

Davina doesn’t know why she’s so eager to spending time with the girl. Maybe it’s because she’s the first friend she made here; maybe because she’s the first one that made her see there was more to life than what she had been living before. Talking to her felt refreshing and nice. Too nice.

“Rebekah, Hi.” She says smiling widely at the girl, who returns an even bigger smile. “Hi, come in.” Rebekah moves in a small corner to leave space for the bed. 

“I haven’t seen you much lately.” Davina asks her.

“Oh I know. I’ve been doing this trainer-ship...um, it’s to help children in Africa. So it’s been keeping me quite busy. They should give me a call tonight, fingers crossed.” She chuckles nervously and crosses her fingers together.

“Really? That’s amazing. I...really hope that works out for you.”

She almost resents herself for being so hesitant about saying it. She should feel genuinely happy for her, but for some reason, she isn’t.

“Hey, maybe we should get drinks tonight, you know, to celebrate.” Davina says.

Rebekah scoffs a laugh. “They could also call to reject me, you know.”

Davina shrugs. “We’ll always have alcohol.” 

That brings out another soft smile from Rebekah. They stare at each other for a while before the elevator finally opens and Rebekah has to walk out. 

“This is me.” Rebekah says stepping outside, but not leaving before glancing one last time at the brunette. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you tonight.” 

The doors close and Davina lets out a loud sigh that catches her patient’s attention. “That was your attempt to ask her out, right?” 

Davina raises her eyebrows in surprise and starts shaking her head, “Oh no, no. We’re just...colleagues. It’s not...”

“You sure seem nervous about it though.”

Davina sighs again and gives her patient a pointed look. “Let’s just go and fix your bones, shall we?”

When they arrive at the O.R.’s floor, neither of them talks about it anymore, nor Davina thinks about the date she has the same night. 

Except it’s not a date. She doesn’t feel that way about girls. She never has. She did kiss a girl in high school on a dare, but she was too drunk to even remember how that felt like. 

Could she maybe find out if she feel that way about girls if she tried again then?

No. Of course not.

She’s twenty-six, she can’t be questioning her sexuality now. She knows she likes boys, although she’s only been with one; and that was enough to make her hate and fear the whole male gender for a lifetime.

Maybe she’s thinking too much into this. Maybe she just wants a friend; she actually misses having one. 

Yes, she just needs a friend. 

/ /

Josie is sitting on her therapist couch, playing with a folded piece of paper in her hands. She keeps her eyes on the paper, not looking at Emma. That doesn’t help her though, because Emma still tries to get her to talk.

“How are you today?”

“I’m...I’m okay. I mean, if I don’t stop to think about it _\- him -_ I feel...fine.” She says hesitantly, still keeping her gaze down on the paper.

“Are you still bringing that paper everywhere you go?” Emma asks. 

Josie takes a few moments to answer; she knows that there’s no point in lying. She stopped trying to do that a long time ago during her sessions. 

“Yes.” Her voice is low and sad.

“You know, you could try to stop holding on to that. Put it in your nightstand, keep it somewhere safe. You’ll still have it, just not on you all the time.”

“I know. It’s just...” Josie pauses, feeling a sudden lump in her throat. She hasn’t cried in a while now, but she certainly can’t do it now. “I just feel...like I will forget him if I don’t keep it with me.”

“But you won’t forget him. It will just help you to move on. And moving on it’s not something you should feel guilty about.” Emma says gently. 

“I just don’t think it’s right to move on.” 

Josie’s fingers hold tightly on the paper. It’s actually really wrinkled, Emma notices. Josie must have thought to rip it and throw it away many times in her moments of anger, but she never really could. 

“He would want you to. You’re still alive, Josie. Hope is still alive. Your sisters and your friends are still alive. You’re not supposed to feel like you have to stop living because he’s not here anymore.”

“He was my friend. I...I loved him. We understood each other. He was kind. And funny. And awkward,” She scoffs a laugh, “and he was always there for me.” At that point, she starts crying, unable to keep herself from breaking every time the same question came bumping in her head. “Why couldn’t I be there for him?” She sniffles, “Why couldn’t I save him?” 

“You know it’s not your fault.” 

“Still, he should be here. Somehow this piece of paper it’s the only thing that makes me really feel like he’s still here. But then I look around, and he’s not. Then what am I supposed to do with it? These are his wishes, not mine.” 

“You could do those things for him. Have you thought about it?”

Josie lowers her gaze again and exhales deeply. 

She has thought about it. She just can’t bring herself to do them by herself.

/ / 

Hope has been walking most of the day around the hospital with a crew of cameras and new interns visiting the hospital and documenting the myth that had become Mystic Falls Hollows General. 

Not really the publicity the hospital needed, surely that wasn’t going to bring more patients, but hopefully the changes that were being made could be of use.

“Things have changed since the shooting, sure. For one thing, uh, over the last month, we have installed a number of new, uh, security measures. Um, we're trying to make it safer for the hospital, the doctors, and...and the patients, of course.” Hope says nervously. She’s not really used to talking in front of so many people.

“Chief, would you say that you have the best doctors here to keep the name of the hospital high?” 

“Oh, I have complete faith in that. As a matter of fact, today we have welcomed our new chief of cardio, Keelin Malraux. Our interns also are the best, all because they have residents and attendings teaching them the best way they can.” 

“With extras too, I’d say.” Alyssa mutters next to her.

Hope instantly sticks her elbows into Alyssa’s side to shut her up, but she knows the girl has no limits. 

“How is your relationship with the interns?”

“Oh, well, it’s impossible to work together this closely and not become friends.” She clears her throat, “In some cases.”

“For example, I saved her life, so we’re pretty close.” Alyssa says.

And she keeps reminding Hope of that every day. 

“I mean, ask anyone, we’re _really_ close.” 

“Yeah, sometimes she would get in my girlfriend’s bed and have sleepovers...with me in it.” Hope bursts out, but instantly regretting it.

Her attempt to embarrass Alyssa actually worked the other way. And now the entire group is staring at her, probably thinking she’s some sort of weirdo.

She’s not good at this. At all.

“Okay, maybe just cut that part.” Hope’s voice squeals. “Maybe we should-“

“Hope.” Rafael calls at her coming at full speed, but then notices the cameras and many eyes on him. “Oh. Sorry, I can come back later...”

“Are you close to Dr. Mikaelson too?” A girl from the group of interns asks him.

“Oh, um, Hope and I...we go way back.”

“Right. Way back.” Hope states.

“We went to med school together and...you know, she became my best friend.” He says with a hint of sadness, glancing at the auburn haired girl. “She was my better half.” 

“Was? Did something happen?” The girl keeps asking.

Alyssa wonders how on earth can these interns ask all these personal questions. She believes it’s because Hope is not Bennett, which is not a bad thing, but Bennett would have never allowed them to even talk. 

“No, nothing happened. We’re still friends.” Hope suddenly says, surprising even Rafael. 

“Now, Dr. Chang will walk you back down the lobby, I think we’re done for the day.” 

The cameramen and the interviewer try to object. “But-“ 

But Hope insists. “We are done.” 

Just like that, the hallway is clear from the group, leaving Hope and Rafael one.

Hope is focused on her papers at first, not really noticing him staring at her in silence until she raises her gaze again.

“Do you need something?” Hope asks.

“Did...did you mean that?”

“Mean what?” 

Another trick she uses with Josie: she pretends to be oblivious about something, but Hope almost never is. She just tries to avoid the inevitable sometimes, or she just tries to buy herself some time to come up with something.

“That we’re still friends.” 

Hope sighs and stays still and quiet for a few seconds more, then she finally looks up at him with softness. “Yes, of course we are. I almost died and to be honest it would’ve sucked to go in the afterlife still hating you.” She jokes.

“You probably would’ve ended up in hell.” He plays along, smiling at her.

Hope narrows her eyes and scoffs a laugh. “Don’t push it Raf, don’t push it.” 

While Hope walks away, Rafael keeps standing there and suddenly he’s caught by surprise by Liv. 

“Did you tell her?!” She whispers harshly.

Rafael takes a deep breath and shakes his head in denial. “No, I didn’t.”

“Why?! You have to tell her before she leaves, okay? I’m on my way to tell Josie now.”

“Liv, maybe we should do it together?”

Olivia crosses her arms on her chest and studies him closely. “Maybe you’re not into this relationship as much as I am. You don’t want to tell her? Fine, don’t. We can end this now if you prefer.”

“No, wait. Liv...Liv!”

He tries to catch her but she gets away before he can. There was no other way this was going to go. 

He had to tell Hope as soon as possible. 

/ /

“Okay, my dad can be intimidating, even more than Rebekah. But you should be safe with aunt Freya.” Hope tells Josie. 

They’re sitting at the table of the Mystic Grill where they’re supposed to meet Hope’s family.

Mikaelsons are also fashionably late. Josie noted that.

“Relax, Hope. I feel like you’re even more scared than I am about this.” She rests her hand on Hope’s, brushing her thumb on its back.

“I’m not scared. I’m just...” She sighs heavily. “My dad gave me and Maya a hard time back then and I don’t want that to happen with you.”

“I can handle myself, don’t worry.” 

“That’s exactly why I’m worried.”

Josie drops her jaw offended. “Hey! You should be grateful to have someone like me by your side.”

Hope chuckles. “I am grateful. But also kinda scared.” 

“You suck, Hope Mikaelson. I can’t believe I’m dating you.” 

Hope starts laughing wholeheartedly and then slowly closes the distance between them in a soft kiss, which of course is interrupted by someone clearing their throat in front of them.

When they break the kiss, Josie faces a man watching them with a crooked smile, followed by Keelin, Rebekah and another blonde woman, who Josie believes to be Freya.

“Am I interrupting something?” Klaus says.

So both Klaus and Rebekah have British accent except for Freya and Keelin, apparently. It’s so weird to listen to. Josie sometimes forgets Hope’s family origins. 

“Hi dad.” Hope smiles softly and gets up to hug him tight. “Hello princess.” He says kissing her forehead. 

Hope blushes and gives him a pointed look. “Dad.”

“Just because you’re all grown up, doesn’t mean you stop being my little girl.” 

While everyone takes their seat, Josie shifts closer to Hope.

“I knew you were a spoiled little princess.” Josie whispers to her.

The auburn haired girl responds by kicking the brunette under the table. “I swear to God, Josie...” 

Josie tries to keep herself from laughing. She’s glad she succeeds to do so, because suddenly Klaus’ attention is directed at her.

“You must be the girl my daughter has been talking about for a year.” 

Oh wow.

Josie knows that her story with Hope had been going on for a while now, even with ups and downs, but did she really talk about her that much? 

But maybe she shouldn’t be so surprised. After all, Hope was always all she talked about to her friends too. Hope, on the contrary, doesn’t really have any close friend, so it would make sense if the only people she could confide in were her family. 

It’s almost weird for Josie. Or maybe it isn’t. She doesn’t have a parent or a big family like her to go to for these kind of stuff, but Hope does. She wonders if the feeling is different. It must be.

“I believe that’s me.” She says smiling. 

“Well, despite your unpleasant accident, I’m proud of your new position at the hospital, sweetheart.” He says raising his glass and then taking a sip of his white wine.

“Thank you dad.” 

“I get distracted for a moment and suddenly my niece is my boss, I can’t believe it.” Keelin says. 

“I think it fits perfectly. Do you remember how Hope was at fourteen?” Freya asks looking at Klaus.

“Oh! She was one of a kind. No one could question her or tell her what to do. She lived by her own rules.” Klaus says looking at Josie, who was listening curiously.

She should have prepared herself for Hope’s baby and teenage stories. 

“You still tried to ground me, without success.” Hope points out.

“I would ground you now if I really had the power to lock you in.” Klaus says. 

He does sound very protective of her, Josie thinks.

“I could do that. She won’t fight me.” Josie says. 

“Seriously?” Hope glances at her with a murderous look, but Josie only keeps smiling carelessly. 

She knows better than to be scared of Hope. Besides, she really wants Hope’s dad to like her.

“Josie, have you ever been to New Orleans?” Klaus asks her.

“I haven’t, but Hope told me so much about it. We go to this place every Friday of the week for jazz music night, I can only imagine how it must be living New Orleans life.” 

“You should come visit, maybe for Mardi Gras. The French Quarter is beautiful during that time of the year.” Klaus says. 

”We’ll definitely clear our schedule for that.” She says looking at Hope, who smiles softly at her.

“Now I don’t mean to scare you, but you hold on tight to my daughter, all right? I wouldn’t want to come at you like I did with the other one.”

 _“Dad.”_ Hope scolds him.

“It’s okay. I would never do anything to harm her. I would take a bullet for her, literally, so...” 

“Were you two together when it all happened?” Freya asks. 

“Yes. Um, I found Josie still walking in the hallway and I had to get her somewhere safe. But the shooter got to us. I just jumped in front of the gun before he could shoot her.” Hope simply says.

“You jumped voluntarily in front of a gun?” Rebekah asks quite upset. 

All this time, Rebekah should’ve thought of asking Hope how it all happened, but she was so relieved to know that her niece was alive that the how it happened didn’t even cross her mind. 

“Hope, why would you do that?” Freya asks confused.

Hope scoffs a laugh. “I just told you. He was going to shoot Josie.” 

“But you should have ran away or maybe tried to dodge the bullet, you don’t put yourself in front of a gun.” Rebekah says harshly.

Suddenly, the conversation didn’t sound good anymore. Josie kept glancing between the three members of the family, trying to read their faces, and they all seemed really upset. Klaus too, probably, but Josie couldn’t really tell. He kept quiet, with his hands closed together in a fist, covering his mouth.

“Are you going through that phase again and you didn’t tell us?” Freya asks. 

Josie noticed that now Hope was the one starting to get upset. “What?! No! Does everything always have to do with that now? I just acted on instinct! I was trying to protect her.” 

“I really think you should start talking to Camille again, Hope.” Freya says. 

Hope narrows her eyes and shakes her head frantically. “You guys are unbelievable.” She turns to look at Klaus, who still hasn’t said a word. “Dad?” 

She waits for him to say something, but he doesn’t. Instead, he keeps looking away, but never at her. At some point, Hope decides that she can’t stay there anymore, so she gets up and walks out without saying another word. 

Josie doesn’t really know what to say, so she only excuses herself and follows Hope, thinking that whatever made her react like this might mean something more.  
Hope is the most calm and peaceful person she knows; it takes something big to really get her this upset. 

“Hope, wait.” 

“I just want to go, Josie.”

Josie grabs her hand to stop her and face the girl.

“Just talk to me. What is going on?” 

Hope sighs heavily and keeps looking around her, pressing her lips together in frustration. Before she can even think of saying something, she sees Rafael walking towards them. 

“Hope, hey. Um, we...we should talk.” Rafael says. 

“Can it wait? We’re kind of in the middle of something...” Josie starts saying before getting interrupted. 

“I’ll be quick, I promise.” Rafael says glancing between the two girls. He takes a deep breath, determined to say it all at once. “Liv and I are together. We’ve been together for a while. We’re happy and I hope that both of you can-“ 

Before he can finish, he’s laying on the ground with his nose bleeding once again.  
And all of this feels like a deja vue. 

“Hope!” 

Josie grabs her wrist and looks at her harshly, it almost feels like scolding a baby. She knows that Hope is not in her right mind now, and Josie didn’t like what she just heard either, but seeing Hope lashing out this way was something she wasn’t used to.

Josie is still holding on to Hope, afraid that she might keep punching Rafael or worse, run away from her.

After glancing one last time at Rafael and making sure that nothing was broken, Josie drags Hope far from there, none of them saying another word. They just keep silent during the entire drive home; and when they’re finally there, Hope rushes inside and locks herself in the bathroom for a while, still not ready to talk about everything that happened. 

//

After the disastrous evening, Rebekah excused herself since she had made plans with Davina. Normally, she would make sure her brother doesn’t do anything stupid, but she had a feeling that this time she could let go. Plus, Freya was with him, so she could relax and let herself be present with Davina.

“I can’t believe you lived in New Orleans and we never crossed paths. I mean, I was always on the move, never in the same place...just taking jobs at any hospital, always changing, but I did come home sometimes.” Rebekah says. 

“Well, I never was much into the city. I just used to work and go home, that’s it. And I was mostly alone growing up. My parents died when I was seven, then I was adopted by a really nice family there. Never had siblings.”

“Oh, as for siblings, I have a handful. My brothers and I spent all of our teenage years in England, until we moved to NOLA, then I left for med school and my brothers Elijah and Finn joined the army. But then Elijah got injured during an attack in Iraq, so he was sent home. And now he works for humanitarian associations. Then there’s Kol, still living wild and free. And Niklaus...well, he’s the very best of us.”

“And what about Finn? Is he still away?” 

“Oh no, um, he...he died seven years ago.”  
She lowers her gaze into her drink, trying not to let the thought make her emotional. Her brother was still an open wound for her. 

Davina feels sorry for her. She knows how it feels to lose someone you love.

Besides her parents, she had one friend back in New Orleans, but because of her past toxic relationship she ended up losing him. She feels like it’s her fault more than it was her ex boyfriend’s. 

She should’ve been stronger.

That’s what she keeps telling herself.

“I’m so sorry Rebekah.”

“Yeah, it never gets easier, you know. Losing the people you love.” She smiles sadly.

How many people had she lost? 

Davina wonders, but then suddenly her pager starts beeping.

“Dammit. Really? Ugh.” She sighs and glances at the blonde with an apologizing look. “Sorry. It’s an emergency, I should probably go. Still no call?”

“Not yet. But I can walk you to the hospital by the way, just let me go freshen up for a moment.” Rebekah says. 

“Okay.”

While Rebekah heads to the bathroom, Davina finishes her drink and starts checking the time constantly, wondering why it was taking the girl so much. 

At some point, the hospital calls and tells her that her case had been taken care of and there was no need for her to go back. 

Still, she started worrying about Rebekah, so she decides to go to the bathroom and see if the girl was okay. She’s surprised to see the girl leaning over the sink, silently crying. 

“Rebekah. Hey...what happened?”

She rests her hand on Rebekah’s shoulder and looks at her with tenderness. 

“Oh nothing, nothing. It’s just...they called me. And I didn’t get the job.” She sniffles and tries to hold back the tears. “But it’s okay.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“I’m not...it’s not about that. It was a rough night. Something happened with Hope...and it brought up so much memories and pain and...”

“But Hope is okay now, and what happened in the past it’s in the past.” 

“It’s not only because of Hope.” She keeps silent for a moment, then she meets Davina’s confused gaze. “It’s about her mom, Hayley.” 

“What about her?” 

She lowers her gaze and sniffles. “This might seem odd to you but, um...Hope’s parents were never really together. They had one night stand and that was it, but we were a family. Hayley always lived under the same roof as Nik and the rest of us, but they were never in love.” 

Davina still couldn’t quite catch where Rebekah wanted to go with this, so she waited for the blonde to clear it for her. 

“I loved her.” 

And suddenly everything sounds clearer.

“But she never saw me like that. She had always been in love with Elijah, from the start. And there’s more to that but...let’s just say thinking about it is never easy.” 

Rebekah meets the brunette’s gaze, who was really close now, and staring at her with tenderness. But Rebekah’s attention was elsewhere, focused on her lips. 

“I’m sorry Rebekah, really.” She whispers while caressing her cheek wet with tears. 

Davina really feels the need to release a deep breath, but she can’t. She’s afraid that if she does, something bad might happen. 

“It’s...it’s fine.” She whispers back.

Rebekah releases a small smile, but her attention never shifts from the brunette’s lips. She has the feeling that Davina is slowly getting closer, and Rebekah does the same, almost on purpose; she wants to give her a chance to back away, but at the same time, she needs this. 

Not because she’s upset, but because she wants this. Her attraction to the girl is undeniable, after all.

It’s when their lips finally connect that she decides not to care anymore about keeping distance, so she cups the brunette’s face in her hands and deepens the kiss, but still in a sweet way. 

When Rebekah breaks the kiss, Davina is looking at her in shock; that’s when her theory is confirmed. She’s never done this. 

It’s a shame, really. Rebekah would’ve loved to really get to know the girl as more than friends. Right now, she probably blew up even the possibility of them being friends. 

“Thank you. And sorry.” 

She gives her one last sad smile before walking out of the bathroom, leaving Davina standing there trying to catch her breath and pull herself together. 

There’s no such thing as grown-ups. We never really stop discovering parts of ourselves, or others. We move out, away from our families. 

But the fears, the insecurities, and all the all wounds just grow up with us and follow us everywhere we go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :o


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW // sucidal thoughts; self-harm; domestic violence (PTSD)

Josie doesn’t know if she should go talk to Hope. She would have a good excuse to go in because that’s her room after all, but maybe her girlfriend needs some space now. 

It’s hard to guess what the people you love might need sometimes. Do you give them some space or do you just hammers their walls down?

“What are you doing out here?” 

Josie turns her attention from her door to Lizzie standing in the hallway, looking curiously at her sister.

“Hope is in there. She’s upset.”

“Did something happen at dinner?”

“Kind of. Oh, Rafael and our sister are dating by the way.” 

“What?!” Lizzie yells so loudly that Josie doubts Hope didn’t hear it too. “How dare she keep it from me?!” 

Josie narrows her eyes, and Lizzie instantly corrects herself.

 _“...Us?!“_ She sighs. “What do we do?”

“Right now? Nothing. I have to talk to Hope first.”

Josie slowly opens the door, titling her head inside. She instantly catches Hope’s gaze, who’s sitting on her bed holding a pillow in her lap. She gives Josie a weak smile and the brunette takes it as a sign that she could come in. 

She returns a soft smile and sits next to the auburn haired girl, who instantly rests her head on Josie’s shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry about tonight.”

Hope seems really sad. It almost breaks her heart. Josie wonders how the fact that she was shot had anything to do with her past. If this is another part of Hope’s life she doesn’t know yet, she really wants to. 

“It’s okay.” She presses her lips on her forehead and then rests her head on Hope’s. “And I’m not mad about the punch. I’m just worried about you.”

Hope keeps quiet for a while, and Josie doesn’t push her to talk, until it’s Hope who decides to break the silence. 

“When my mom died...I went through a really hard time. I just...I couldn’t bring myself to accept that she was gone. And I started getting out of control. I would easily get angry or violent, or I would just...think of any way I could hurt myself.”

“Why?” Josie’s voice comes out as a broken whisper.

“Because I felt like it was all my fault. When the accident happened, she was on her way to pick me up from a party.” Hope closes her eyes, trying to fight the images of that night coming back to her all at once. “My dad was heartbroken. My whole family was. I felt like I ruined us. Like I was responsible. And I...I just wanted my mom.” 

Hope starts crying silently, and Josie can swear it’s the first time she’s ever seen Hope cry. 

Turns out that Hope Mikaelson is so many things. She’s not just the soft, playful, confident and brilliant neurosurgeon she fell in love with. She’s also this fragile and vulnerable girl who carries the wounds of the past with her. 

Josie gets that. She does that too. She does it with her mom, with her dad, and with Landon. She carries them all. 

She wonders when someone really stops feeling the loss; if there is a day when she‘ll stop feeling like there are so many pieces missing from her life.

“That’s why they think you jumped on purpose in front of the gun? Because you...” Josie swallows hard, “Hope. Did you try to...”

Hope lowers her voice and her head, feeling ashamed of herself for what she’s about to say; but it’s Josie, and she doesn’t want any secrets between them. “One day...I was at the beach with my uncle, um, I...was swimming. The waves were really high and at some point I ended up under one of them, way deep. I tried to fight my way back up, you know, but the pressure of the waves just kept pushing me down. But then...at some point it was just me.” 

Josie was looking at her with bated breath. She doesn’t want to believe Hope means what she thinks she means, because the mere thought of it saddens her terribly.

Her Hope. Her happiness. The one who brightens her days even more than the sun in the sky. Her sun. 

“Hope...”

“I stopped fighting.” At that point she finds in herself to look at Josie in the eyes, despite the fact that she fears what Josie might think of her now.

But she needs to see to look on her face. She’s almost sure this will change the way Josie feels about her, even if she doesn’t want to be seen this weak and broken, because she’s not that person anymore. 

“I told myself...what’s the point? I ruined it. I ruined everything. I want my mom.” She stops to breathe for a moment and then clears her throat. “I almost died. Actually, um, my heart stopped, for a long time. The doctors almost gave up on me. And during that fraction of time...I think I saw her. I saw my mom. She...she was telling me to come back. That I wasn’t finished. That I had so much more to give and to do.” She smiles sadly. “You probably think I’m crazy.”

“Hey, I could never think that about anything you say. I believe you.” Josie squeezes Hope’s hand and brings it closer to her lap.

Hope smiles weakly and plays with Josie’s fingers in hers. “But I know I was stupid, and that I became self-destructive and I just hurt my family even more, but the guilt was eating me alive. So...that’s why they think I did it on purpose.”

“But you didn’t, right?” 

Josie can’t help but ask at this point. She thought that Hope took that bullet for her, but after hearing this, she’s not sure if that was really the reason.

A single tear runs down Hope’s face. She smiles softly at the brunette and brings a hand on her cheek to caress her tenderly. 

“Of course not. I did it for you.” 

Josie exhales deeply and brings Hope’s hand to her lips, placing soft kisses in its palm and then its back. Without realizing it, she was the one crying now. 

“Hope, if you ever really need to let something out, or you feel overwhelmed because of this...”

Hope smiles softly and grabs both of Josie’s hands. “I’m okay Josie, I promise. I never wanted to live as much as I want now. It might sound cheesy and ridiculous, but you play a big part in that.”

“Really?” 

“Of course. Before knowing you, even if I was okay, I still had times when I would feel myself drowning all over again. And between that and the reminder and the pain of losing my mom... it was even more unbearable. But you...” She sighs softly. “You were like coming up for fresh air. I‘m not drowning anymore. I’m happy... _so_ happy, I can’t imagine not wanting to wake up the next day to live it, because you’re here. You managed to fix me whole and save me and you don’t even know it.” 

Only then Josie realized she was sobbing like a child. She collides their lips together in a deep kiss, then she feels the need to hold the auburn haired girl in her arms, perhaps tighter than she ever has. She almost wishes they could become one, so that Josie knows Hope will always be safe with her. She would keep her safe from anything.

“I’m not letting you go, ever. And we’ll be okay. You have me. You’ll always have me.” 

Hope cries more, but chokes her sobs by hiding her face in between Josie’s neck and her sweater, crawling more in the brunette’s embrace. 

When Hope breaks the hug to face the brunette, she finally smiles widely while brushing her thumbs on Josie’s wet cheeks.

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

They spend a few more hours whispering and laughing quietly, until they eventually fall asleep holding each other. 

//

The next morning Hope knows she needs to clear things up with Rafael. She doesn’t approve anything about this, at all, but she needs to make sure of what his intentions are herself.

She finds Rafael near the board, writing down his surgeries. When she approaches him, he instantly takes a step back, probably still scared of her from the night before.

Wow. If Josie could be this scared of her.

“We need to talk.” She says.

Rafael keeps quiet. He only nods and waits for the girl to say something. Hope notices the purple bruise on his face, and instantly feels sorry about punching him again. But she won’t say it.

“Are you serious about Liv?” 

“I told you Hope, I really am. I know you have no reason to trust me...”

“Do you love her?”

Rafael is a little taken aback by the question. To be honest he never wondered about that. Neither of them have said it yet. Is it really that important?

“I...I don’t know. We still haven’t...”

“Okay. But listen to me, if you hurt Liv in any way, there’s nothing that will stop me or Josie to kick you out of here. Last time I was the one that left, but this time if you screw things up, you leave. This is not me talking as an angry friend, this is your chief talking to you.” 

“Okay. Fine.” He instantly agrees. Before Hope can walk away from him, he speaks again. “Hope...I just want you to know that I didn’t come here to cause you more pain. Or to get Maya back. I came here for you.” 

Hope raises her eyebrows in disbelief. “Me?” 

“I just miss my best friend.“ 

Hope has to admit, she was giving Rafael a harder time than she did with Maya, even though it felt like both of them hurt her just the same. 

Despite that, she never really stopped caring about him. He was her best friend after all. Her other half. She met him at a time when she was fragile and vulnerable and he helped her during that time. And he’s been there for her ever since.

If this story has taught her something, is that she’s capable of forgiveness more than she thought she was. If she was strong enough to stay alive after everything she’s been through, she surely was strong enough to forgive something as painful as a betrayal. 

“You didn’t lose me. I’m...I’m always here for you, if you need me.” She simply says. 

And that is enough to bring a smile on Rafael’s face. 

//

Rebekah is reading a patient’s chart in the hallway, waiting for her intern to show up. She takes a mental note to scold whoever they are, because her first rule is to never keep the kids in need of care waiting. 

When she raises her gaze she’s surprised to see Davina walking towards her, but as soon as they make eye contact, she notices how Davina’s hesitates about keep walking or run away in the opposite direction; but in the end she doesn’t. 

“Oh, I see you’re trying to avoid me.” Rebekah says, maybe sounding too snarky, but she doesn’t really care about that.

Davina looks nervous. She didn’t mean to avoid the girl and make everything this awkward, but she felt like a scared fifteen years old every time she would catch a glimpse of the blonde pediatric surgeon. It was bad. 

“I...I’m not. I mean I am.” She sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be Davina, it’s not the first time I make a bad move.” She smiles reassuringly and puts the chart back in the folder. 

“It’s not that, actually, um...I was thinking about asking you out.” 

Rebekah looks at her in confusion. 

Had she got it all wrong?

“Ask me out?”

“Yes, like...on a date.”

Rebekah lets out a laugh and crosses her arms on her chest. “See, Davina, I spend my entire day with babies. And I get it, this must be confusing for you now, but I can’t do this right now. I can’t help you figure it out or...whatever. I should’ve known better than kissing a straight girl, again.”

Davina doesn’t really know what else to say. She didn’t expect a rejection from her. Or maybe she should’ve? Rebekah seems pretty pissed about it. 

“Dr. Mikaelson? I’m with you today.” 

Rebekah turns her attention to her intern and abandons her arms to her sides. “Finally, Montgomery. You know, miracles don’t wait for you to get your coffee in the morning.”

Rebekah walks away, hinting Jade to follow her, without saying another word to Davina. 

The brunette thinks she should probably let it go. She might just be confused, it doesn’t mean she really wants to date Rebekah. Or a girl in general. 

She decides to focus on her job and stop thinking about all the doubts in her head. As always, it’s better to just shut off any thoughts about her personal life, instead of letting them chase her everywhere. 

//

“Dr. Bennett, welcome back.” Hope says with a wide smile.

“Thank you. Listen, I’m happy to leave all the hard work to you, I just want to be cleared and get back to work.”

Hope chuckles at how eager she seems. She almost looks like an intern, but she will never say that. “We missed you. But you still have to get cleared for surgery, so maybe you could start with lab work today.”

“What do you mean cleared for surgery? I’m... _was,_ the chief. Who has to clear me?”

“First you have to talk to our therapist. If she says you’re ready and I say you’re ready, then I’ll sign the paper.” 

Bennett sighs in frustration and slams her foot on the floor. “I preferred you when you only had your hands on brains.” 

/ /

Alyssa, Lizzie and Josie are sitting on the beds of the empty tunnels, eating junk food and candies. 

It almost looks like interns don’t really care for a healthy diet. But they can’t care, because internship sucks the life out of you. There’s no time for eating healthy. They need comfort food.

Or maybe not everyone, because Liv joins them with her plate of healthy food. 

She’s the devil.

“I just went to the cafeteria and someone told me ‘I thought you died’.” She says looking bewildered.

“They must have confused you with Jade. There’s plenty of nurses who wanted her dead.” Lizzie says. 

Josie chuckles and then faces her step sister. “Don’t go to the cafeteria for lunch, they just point and stare.”

“They stare because we should’ve died.” Alyssa says.

Jade joins them too and stands in front of them with her arms behind her back, then suddenly takes out a piece of paper. 

Josie opens her mouth in shock. “You got cleared?!”

“I have finally full motions of my right arm.” Jade says smiling happily.

“Congrats babe.” Lizzie says smiling softly.

“I think Hope’s aunts might hate me.” Josie says.

“I just hope for you that Hope has no more doctors in her family.” Alyssa says.

“Seriously, it looks like a coup d'etat. Hope took Bennett’s place, then two of her aunts are chief of cardio and peds...they’re building a legacy here, in this hospital.” Lizzie says.

“Guys, _focus.”_ Josie steps in. 

“What can you do Jo? I think they have nothing against you, they’re just worried about Hope.” Lizzie reassures her sister.

“I believe now her family thinks you’re the reason their niece could’ve got killed.” Alyssa says.

Josie gives her a pointed look. “Not helping, Alyssa.” 

“You know what’s funny? Jed proposing to her.” Jade says.

“What?!” Both Josie and Olivia shout at the same time. Lizzie doesn’t seem to be shocked, but she is a little confused by the sudden piece of information.

“What did she say?!” Josie shouts harshly at Alyssa next to her, who slowly sinks more and more into Lizzie to get away from Josie.

“I...”

“Oh God, she said yes.” Lizzie says.

“Alyssa?!” Josie yells again.

“Okay, I really need to go now. So...see you later.” Alyssa runs away before giving Josie the time to process what she just heard. 

“I never liked that guy by the way.” Lizzie says. 

/ / 

“I really think he can make it.” Liv says while looking at the small baby on the operating table.

Her and Jade are assisting Rebekah, who is intent in removing the necrosis bowel around the baby’s heart.

“Do you really think so? I mean he has low chances.” Jade says.

“Montgomery.” Rebekah says firmly. “Here we never lose hope. Miracles happen. I’ve seen them. I’ve made them.”

Jade sighs and keeps looking at the baby. 

“And I thought I would have fun on my first day back.” 

“You know what’s fun? Removing dead bowel. Wanna make a cut?” Rebekah asks her.

Jade looks at her dubiously. “Really? Are you sure?”

“Come here before I change my mind.” 

Jade takes the scalpel in her hand and moves closer to have a better visual. 

“Okay, the tissue rips easily, so make sure you press down as hard as you would need to cut a hair.” 

Jade does so.

“All right. Good, good. Now take it out gently. Great. See? You’re not just this snarky and cranky nurse.” 

Jade raises her gaze and looks at her with a frown. “Hey!” 

“Focus.”

She proceeds for a while more, and everything goes by perfectly. 

But as she’s about to finish and remove the last part of the necrosis, the machine starts beeping repeatedly. The baby’s pressure starts falling, and before they can try their last shot, it’s already late.

//

Alyssa is performing her surgery alone while Keelin watches her from afar. 

“Okay, no more bubbles. Okay, let’s come off.” She says to her assistant. “Decannulating.”

Josie in the meantime is watching her from the gallery along with Lizzie, who was approached by the same guy who caused Lizzie and Jade to fight months before, Sebastian.

Josie wonders why her sister won’t just ignore people like him. Not that she really knows the guy; she only knows that he is an intern for plastics and he‘s quite good at his job, but still. 

“I could tell Claire to let you scrub in, she likes me, I can put in a good word for you.” He says leaning over Lizzie’s shoulder.

“Thanks, but I don’t need privileges.” Lizzie says forcing a smile. 

“All right. Then let’s cut to the chase, maybe we could start with drinks first.”

“Hey Sebastian!” Josie calls at him, who turns around to look at her. “Do you know Jade Montgomery?”

“Josie.” Lizzie says in a serious tone.

“Yes?” He says.

“She’s her girlfriend. And she’s not here right now, but I know for sure you would need a facial surgery if she saw you hitting on my sister.” She fakes a smile. “Oh. And perhaps a good urologist too.” 

“Josie, stop it.” Lizzie scolds her. 

“Maybe you should focus less on me hitting on your sister and more on your friend screwing up.”

“What?”

Josie looks back into the O.R. and sees Alyssa and the nurses moving faster, and the pressure dropping in the monitor.

“She’s tachycardic.” Alyssa says. “I need more laps.” She says while digging her hands in the patient’s chest, trying to clear the view from the too much blood.

“Um, I’m having difficulty locating the bleeding. Dr. Malraux?”

“Keep looking Chang.” She says while standing there, not moving a muscle.

“BP is dropping.” A nurse says.

“I could suture directly or clamp. I don’t know what to do.” 

“I don’t know either.” Keelin says.

“Why is she such a bitch? Does she know she saved her niece?” Lizzie asks Josie.

The brunette honestly doesn’t know what is happening. She doesn’t really care for Keelin’s attitude. She just hopes Alyssa can fix this.

“Well, can’t you come here and take a look?!” Alyssa shouts.

“You can do it Chang.” 

Alyssa sighs heavily, the machine still beeping rapidly. “She’s crashing!” 

“Look at the aorta. What does it tell you?”

“I wish she could talk to me right now, for sure!” She says sarcastically. “I know I have two options but I don’t know which one to do.”

“This is crazy. Why isn’t she helping her?” Lizzie says, following Alyssa’s movements. 

“Hey, how is it going?” Jed says walking into the gallery.

“Alyssa is killing her patient and Malraux won’t help her.” Lizzie says.

“Oh God.” He rubs a hand on his forehead. 

Josie glances at him, studying him. She was starting to have a bad feeling about Jed. At first she liked him, but after hearing about the proposal and now seeing his weird attitude, she’s not so sure he‘s the one for Alyssa.

“Is everything okay Jed?” Josie asks suspiciously.

“Yeah, of course. Why do you ask?” He looks at her still agitated.

“No reason.”

Jed suddenly runs off the gallery and next thing she knows, he his down in the O.R. talking to Malraux.

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“I’m teaching.” 

“Just help her, Keelin. You can’t let this patient die.”

“She will make it.” She raises her voice while looking firmly at him. “She’s going to save the patient.”

“If you’re doing this to get back at me somehow, Keelin, this is not the way-“ 

“Dr. Lee, you are distracting me! Get out of my O.R. now!” Alyssa shouts.

Not caring if he did actually leave or not, Alyssa gets back to her patient and decides the next thing to do.

“Okay, I found it, let’s clamp here.” 

Keelin sighs in relief and smiles weakly from behind her mask. 

She knew she could do it. 

//

“So you..you didn’t do anything? You just closed him back up?” The baby’s mom asks Rebekah. 

“We did everything we could, but he couldn’t take it, Morgan. I’m so sorry.” Rebekah says.

The woman starts sobbing desperately, and while Liv sits next to her to comfort her, Jade doesn’t feel like she can stay there and watch this anymore. She walks away and closes herself in the nearest ER, where she inevitably starts crying.

After not long, Rebekah enters the room and looks at her silently for a moment, then surprisingly, she snaps at her.

“If you want to work in peds you can’t get emotional.” Rebekah says.

“I thought it wasn’t a bad thing.” Jade says feeling confused.

“Sure, but not in times like this. That parent just lost her child. She more than us has the right to feel that heartbreaking pain. This is a hard job, Montgomery. And I can see that you are great at this. You have good instincts, but you have to be prepared for this, I won’t lie to you. Because you’re gonna see a lot of bad cases, but also a lot of miracles.”

“I know. I’m...not usually like this.” She sniffles and wipes the tears off her cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

Rebekah studies the girl for a moment, then she softens a bit. “You’ll see that miracles can happen in peds, if you choose to keep working with me.”

Jade only nods and keeps quiet. Rebekah only gives her a reassuring smile, then she leaves the room. 

But Jade thinks she knows why she reacted that way; and maybe she also knows what she needs to fix herself in order to be able to do this.

//

Josie waits for Alyssa to come out of the O.R. and when she does, the raven haired girl looks both tired and happy. 

“You were amazing.” Josie says.

“Yeah, I’d like to disagree but I really can’t.”

Josie smiles softly and then clears her throat, getting serious again. 

“Alyssa, I don’t like where this is going.”

Alyssa stops walking and faces the girl, meanwhile she takes off her scrub cap.

“What do you mean?”

“Did you really say yes?” 

Alyssa sighs. “Josie...”

“No, seriously-“

“Are you trying to talk me out of this?”

Josie sighs heavily and then her eyes fall on Alyssa’s neck, noticing bruises coming out of her scrub. 

“What are those?” Josie points at her neck.

Alyssa instantly pulls up her shirt to cover it. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” Josie scoffs and walks closer. “Let me see that.” She forces Alyssa to take down the collar of the shirt and is shocked when she sees that the bruises look nothing like hickeys. 

“Alyssa, what’s this?” Josie’s tone is both full of concern and serious. 

“Jed has...nightmares. It’s because of his PTSD. He didn’t mean to do it. It was one time.” 

“He didn’t mean it?!” Josie’s exclaims. “Alyssa, this is not okay. You know better than me that it’s wrong.“

Alyssa keeps quiet, her gaze focused on the floor.

“You can’t do this. I forbid you.” 

Alyssa frowns. “You can’t forbid me. Josie I promise, it’s fine. I...I’m okay. He’s going to be okay.”

“Look at me and tell me you're sure about that.” Josie looks firmly at her.

“Okay, you know what? No. You don't get to do this. Okay? All you get to do is help me break the tie between the lilies of the valley and the… and the peonies. That's it.”

“No, I do get to do this. I mean, Hope is the love of my life, but you're my person. I do get to do this.”

“Please don't. Don't.” Alyssa says in exasperation.

“Why do you need to do this so bad? Because I’m sure you don’t want to do this. You just feel like you need to. Why, Alyssa?” 

Alyssa keeps silent for a while. She doesn’t meet Josie’s gaze, she can’t. She feels the smallest and weakest person in the world. She feels a hypocrite. 

“I just...I‘m afraid I’ll never find anyone else. I’ve been alone all my life and...”

“But you’ve also experienced that kind of violence in your life, Alyssa. And are you really willing to go past this?”

Alyssa keeps silent. Josie walks closer and grabs the girl’s hands in hers, meeting her eyes.

“You are a brilliant surgeon and the strongest person I know. I’m sure you’ll become one of the greatest cardio surgeon the world has ever seen. And you don’t need anyone to make you realize your worth. You might care about him, maybe you think of him as a saint for just putting up with you, but you’re not that hard to love, Alyssa. Trust me. We don’t exist for just one person. And you don’t need him more than you need yourself. If you’re really sure about this, then I’ll...I don’t know. I’ll try to understand, I guess, but if you’re doing this out of fear...” She shakes her head. “please don’t. Eventually, someone will come. But even if it doesn’t, so what? You’re Alyssa Chang. You don’t need a stupid man by your side. And you sure won’t ever be alone like you were before.”

Alyssa smiles between tears and squeezes Josie’s hands in hers. “Why would I need anyone when I’ve got you.” 

Josie smiles widely. “That’s also a fair point.” 

Both of them close the distance at the same time in a tight hug. 

“I know I never tell you this, but I love you.” Alyssa says, holding her a little tighter. 

Josie smiles and caresses her back. “Love you too.” 

//

Jade comes back home exhausted. She drops her bag on the floor and her coat on the couch under the stairs, then she walks directly to the kitchen, decided to make herself something to eat before heading to her room. 

As she walks into the kitchen, she sees Lizzie laying on the couch watching Tv. Suddenly she doesn’t feel so hungry anymore. She just wants to cuddle.

She never thought she would become that kind of person.

She walks to the couch and abandons herself right on top of Lizzie, sinking her face in the crook of her neck. 

Lizzie groans, feeling her bones crush under Jade’s body, but then she holds her close. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah. Just tired.” She whispers with her eyes closed.

“How was peds today?” 

“Good, but awful.” 

“Oh.” Lizzie caresses her back to comfort the girl. “I’m sorry.” 

“I think I need to see my parents.” Jade mutters against her neck.

Lizzie is surprised to hear that, because in the last few months Jade’s parents tried to get in contact with her but she never felt ready to see them again.

She figured that after the shooting Jade would feel the need to fix things with them, build a relationship maybe, but it didn’t happen.

Maybe it was what was happening now. 

“Do you need me to come with you?” 

“No, I think I need to do this alone.” 

“Okay.” She says softly, then places a kiss on her head. 

After a few moments of silence, Lizzie thinks Jade has fallen asleep; instead she speaks up again.

“Next time someone flirts with you and you play along I’m shaving your eyebrows.” 

Lizzie presses her lips together trying to hold a laugh and squeezes her girlfriend tightly in her arms. “I love you?”

“Fuck you.” 

Lizzie grins again, and they stay like this until they both fall asleep on the couch.

/ /

Hope and Josie are in Hope’s bathtub out in the open. Even though they are in the Old Mill, the nonexistent roof allows them to see the sky and enjoy the beautiful view, even though Hope doesn’t really give Josie a chance to, since she keeps leaving wet kisses along her exposed neck. 

“Hope, you’re tickling me.” Josie chuckles and pulls away.

“How?! You never had this problem before.”

“I guess I’ve just become more sensitive to your touch now.” She says smirking.

Hope laughs and holds her tighter between her legs, pulling the brunette’s back against her, still placing more kisses on her skin.

”You’re making all the bubbles fall out.” Josie accuses her.

“ _You_ are making all the bubbles fall out.”

“Stop kissing me then.”

“You stop moving then.”

“How old are you? Three?” Josie asks. 

Hope bites the brunette on her neck, catching her by surprise and making her gasp and jump in surprise, spilling more water out.

“See? It’s your fault.” Hope says with a mischievous smirk on her face.

“If I didn’t love that smile so much, I would feed you to the bears.”

Hope chuckles and then places a sweet kiss where she just bit the brunette. “Hey...you know what would be nice?”

“What?” Josie asks curiously.

“If we rebuild this Old Mill and make it our home.”

Josie instantly turns her head to face the auburn haired girl, who was looking at her with a soft and loving smile.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, why not? I mean, it’s just an idea. But I might have a project in progress for it.”

“What about the trailer?”

“I would sell it. I won’t need the trailer anymore. I will have you. And our home.” She says smiling softly.

Josie rolls her eyes and surrounds Hope’s neck with an arm, abandoning her head on the girl’s shoulder. 

“You’re not serious.” 

“Shut up, Parker. You know I am.” 

She knows. 

It’s weird to think how much she has learned to trust Hope, to the point that a proposition like that doesn’t scare her anymore.

She used to be so scared about her feelings for Hope, but now it seems to be the most natural thing in the world. 

It has never felt so right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for loving this story so much and keeping up with it :) I hope this chapter wasn’t too hard on you all. 
> 
> I’ll be back with the next chapter very soon. 
> 
> Sending you lots of love. Stay safe <3


	30. Chapter 30

Some days, the world screams upside down. And then somehow, improbably, and when you least expect it, the world rights itself again. Nothing stays the same. 

“Hope? Be quick in the shower so we can have breakfast outside.” 

Josie was setting up the tray with two cups of coffee and brioches to take outside the trailer. She was getting used to this. Living amongst nature wouldn’t be so bad after all. Even more surprisingly, living in a trailer wasn’t so bad. 

Hope got out of the bathroom a few moments later with a white towel covering her, even though her wet hair was drooling all over the floor. Josie was instantly inebriated by Hope’s perfume of roses. She had forbidden the girl to use any other soap, because to her, that was Hope. Delicate and soft. 

Josie takes a look at Hope who’s walking towards the trailer door. “What are you doing?”

Hope stops walking, all while drying her hair with another towel. “Going to have breakfast?”

Josie narrows her eyes and gives her a dirty look. “You’re in a towel.” 

“So? It’s just us out here. And maybe the bear.”

Josie scoffs a laugh and walks past Hope with the tray in her hands. “There are no bears out there.” 

As Josie steps outside she places the tray on the table, and as she raises her gaze in front of her, she notices a baby bear not so far, walking silently towards her. 

She lets out a loud scream and runs back inside, quickly locking the door and closing the curtains. 

Hope is looking at her with a small smile, hardly trying not to laugh at Josie’s face, while the brunette is completely terrified.

“There is a bear!” She shouts.

“I know!” Hope shouts back, mocking her.

Josie closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I could’ve died!” 

“How?! Yogi is harmless.” 

“Yogi? You..named the bear?! So what we..we have a pet now?!” 

“If you have a dog, I can’t see why I can’t have a bear.” Hope shrugs.

Josie scoffs, her voice squealing always louder. “Are you seriously comparing a dog to a BEAR?!” 

Hope rolls her eyes and sighs. “Can we go eat now, please?” 

“Hope, you should move in with me.” Josie tells her, still breathing heavily.

Fuck nature.

Hope instantly smiles. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. And to be honest, I don’t want to die eaten by a bear.”

Hope walks close to her and runs her hands along Josie’s arms, then she slips their hands together. “Ohw, you know I would jump in front of a bear for you.” She says in a sweet voice.

Josie instantly points a finger at her with a serious face. 

_“No._ I forbid you to jump in front of anything from now on.”

Hope frowns and then rolls her eyes. “You’re always forbidding me things.” She protests.

Truth is, yes. Josie tends to do that a lot. It’s probably weird the fact that she sees Hope like her superhero but also a child at the same time. Maybe because her being instinctive seems a lot more like recklessness to Josie. 

Essentially, Hope is a baby. 

“You should stop treating me like a baby.” Hope adds.

Josie’s eyes widens in shock. 

Hope smirks. “Yeah, I can read your mind now. New superpower.”

“Fine. Maybe I will. For now.” Josie smirks, then she moves her fingers to unknot Hope’s towel around her. Hope smirks too. “What are you doing?”

“I left breakfast outside...” She whispers, then she runs her lips along Hope’s neck, “and I’m hungry.” 

Hope gasps in surprise and then chuckles lightly while Josie brushes her fingers on Hope’s bare stomach, causing the girl to snap back.

Yes, she has a sensitive spot too. 

“Yes, I’ll move in with you.” Hope says.

Josie suddenly stops and stares at her with a soft smile, then she presses her lips on Hope’s, kissing her gently. Then a moment of silence, before she starts walking Hope towards the bed. 

Next thing they know, both of them are forty minutes late for work.

//

Alyssa is in the locker room putting on her scrubs, feeling energized for the day ahead. 

After her talk with Josie weeks ago, she decided to press pause with Jed. It was hard, also because he tried to change her mind, promising her to be better. Alyssa knows that he’s not really a bad guy, but Josie is right after all. She can’t let her fear cloud her judgment and not see how things really are. 

_Maybe it’s not the right time. Maybe in the future, if he really gets better..._

That’s what Alyssa kept telling herself, not taking into consideration the fact that he might easily move on to the next. 

But screw him. She has always been about her career. She won’t give that much of importance to a man. There’s nothing more important than her job, except maybe Josie - yes, definitely Josie. 

Think about the devil...

Josie walks in the locker room in a rush, throwing her bag on the floor and starting to undress herself. Alyssa suddenly widens her eyes, catching bruises all over Josie’s chest and abdomen.

“Jesus, Jo. Do you guys ever eat food and not each other?” 

Josie’s face instantly brightens red, but Alyssa doesn’t notice, since Josie is busy putting on her shirt.

“How is Bennett by the way? I haven’t really asked her about...you know.” 

Josie keeps rushing to get dressed, so her every answer comes out short of breath. “Oh. I think she’s fine, you know how she is. She’s an adult version of you.” 

Alyssa frowns and bites her bottom lip. “Huh, I guess so.”

“I asked Hope to move in with me.” Josie tells her smiling. 

Alyssa smiles too. “Oh my- I hope this time lasts.”

“Hey!” Josie shouts at her, but Alyssa ignores her.

“Did Jade leave for Pittsburgh?” 

“Yeah, she went to see her parents. Hopefully everything turns out okay. I think she really needs this.” 

“Parker!” Bennett shouts storming into the room. “I don’t care who you sleep with. I’m in charge of you here! Get to work. Both of you!”

Josie freezes for a moment. She almost feels like she’s back to her first days of internship, except she’s far more good now. 

Neither of them say anything, they only obey Bennett’s order and walk to their patient’s room.

“Why did she say she’s in charge now?” Alyssa whispers.

“I think my title as the chief’s girlfriend has just been revoked.” 

//

Jade walks in the driveway of her parents house hesitating at every step. It’s not that she’s not sure about this; she only keeps thinking about how she acted the first time she saw them. But she wasn’t prepared back then, now she is. 

She’s had time to process. She’s here with the best intentions. She doesn’t want to push them away anymore; instead, she wants to really listen to them, know them. 

It makes her heart flatter in her chest, the thought of getting to know her parents. It’s a weird feeling, the fact that after twenty-three years of life she could start calling two people her parents. 

She always felt like she was alone in this world, as if she came from nowhere, another planet, even. Her imagination as a kid had always made her think of her existence as casualty. 

Maybe she was born a mistake. After all, her parents had to go through hell because of her, right? How could they even love her?

Now she’s regretting going there in the first place. She should just go. She’s been doing just fine on her own and Stefan and Valerie have lived all this time without knowing about her existence just fine too.

Yes, she should just go back home...

“Jade?” 

Jade turns around to see Stefan standing behind her down the porch, his car keys in one hand and mails in the other, and a gentle smile that Jade couldn’t help but return. 

“Hi.” 

“Did Valerie not hear you knock?”

“Oh no, um, I...haven’t knocked yet.” She says in embarrassment. 

Stefan doesn’t seem to notice her discomfort, or if he does, he doesn’t point it out, and Jade is grateful about that. 

He opens the door and invites her to come in. 

“Valerie? We have a guest.” 

Jade looks at the forniture around her and has an odd feeling. It’s very homey. It feels like home, but it wasn’t, not really. 

Jade hears some steps coming from the kitchen. When Valerie sees her standing in the living room, she smiles happily. She also has to keep herself from hugging the girl, so as not to scare her. Jade would definitely run away again if she tried to do that.

“Jade. You’re here.” 

Jade smiles weakly. “Yeah. I...wanted to apologize. And... I don’t know, just talk, I guess.”

“I’m...so glad you’re here. When we heard about the accident we were so scared and...” She stops, realizing she was getting far too emotional thinking about it. She swallows hard and tries to steady her voice again. “We’re just glad that you’re okay.” 

Jade smiles awkwardly. “I’m...glad too.”

They stand there in silence for a few more awkward seconds, until Valerie comes up with something to break the ice. “Why don’t you come with me so we can prepare something to eat? You must be starving.”

Jade chuckles nervously. “Yeah, maybe just a little.” 

“Come. We can bake something together.”

She bakes? Her mom bakes? 

_I bake too,_ Jade thinks.

It’s like her heart slowly fills with happiness the more she feels good about doing this. And she really hopes her gut is not wrong. 

//

“Barry Patmore, 63, suffering from recurrent headaches for 7 years. It is treated with narcotics and anti epileptics. And antipsychotics but without success.” Josie says presenting the case. 

“How is the pain today, Mr. Patmore. From one to ten?” Hope asks.

“Eight. It's always eight.” The man says.

“The last consultation suggested a bilateral cingulotomie.” Hope says. 

“But cingulotomie can cause seizures, cognitive or behavioral problems.” Josie observes.

“That's why we will explore all options. Before embarking on radical surgery.”

“More tests?” Mr. Patmore asks. 

“Yes, unfortunately.” Hope says.

The man groans in frustration. “I can’t stay here for too long. I have to get back to my wife. She’s at our cabin alone and she’s always scared that bears could eat our laundry.”

“I’m sorry, but it’s for your own good.” Josie says.

“And I can assure you the bear won’t eat your clothes. Mine doesn’t.” Hope says smiling at him.

“You have a bear?” The man asks in surprise. 

Josie rolls her eyes and can’t help but say something. “She does _not_ have a bear.” She says firmly, “She just decided that a free indipendent bear is now her pet, but he’s not.” 

Hope sighs tiredly and pouts. 

_Then she says she’s not a child._

“He lets me pet him and feed him! He likes me.” She whines.

“Well it doesn’t matter, because you’re moving in with me. And you can’t take a bear to my house.” She crosses her arms on her chest.

“And I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.” The man glances between the two girls in disbelief.

“See?” 

“Maybe I should stay in my trailer and let him eat you.” Hope argues back.

“Wow, she really cares about the bear.” The man says.

“She doesn’t. She’s just like a child who starts protesting and whining when you try to take their favorite plaything from them.” 

Hope gasps, feigning offense. “Excuse me?” 

“You heard me!” 

“I think my headache is back.” The man finally says, unable to keep hearing any more of their bickering. 

The two instantly stop, and silence falls between them. Hope hints Josie with her head to leave the room. The brunette glances at the auburn haired girl narrowing her eyes in a menacing way and then walks out without saying anything else. Meanwhile, Hope gets back to help her patient.

//

“Shelley Boden, 30, in a stage 4 colon cancer with liver metastases. Shelley has undergone chemo and radiation at high dose. And according to the scan, a liver resection at this stage could be beneficial.” Lizzie says presenting the case.

“It will.” Shelley says confidently.

“You have questions?” Bennett says.

“What happens if you find more cancers?” Her sister asks.

“No, Jenn. A: it will not happen and B: Lizzie has already been answered three times.” Shelley tells her.

“Lizzie is not the chief of surgery.” Jenn argues back.

_Jee, thanks._

“Lizzie is great. We love Lizzie.” Shelley says smiling at the blonde.

“Both Dr. Parkers will prepare you for the operation and answer your questions.” Bennett says pointing at Josie too, who just walked into the room.

“You’re sisters?” Shelley asks. 

“Twins.” Josie says.

“Fraternal, of course.” Lizzie adds.

”That’s cool.”

“How long does the surgery?” Jenn asks.

“At least two hours.” Josie says.

“It could be longer?” asks.

“In case of complications or discoveries of new metastases...” Josie starts before getting interrupted. 

“Jenn, it will not happen.”

“But if...”

“No!“ She sighs and looks back at the twins. “Since the diagnosis of my cancer, my sister’s been talking about it nonstop and it's much worse than cancer.” She turns her attention to Josie. “I do not know you yet, so tell me.” 

“Tell you what?”

“Anything, please, before she asks you the description of my liver. Please.”

Josie laughs lightly while checking for Shelley’s vein to insert her IV. “You want the story of my life traumas or my dramatic relationship with my girlfriend?”

“Girlfriend of course!” 

And so Josie starts from the very beginning. 

//

It’s lunch break and Josie, Hope and Alyssa are sitting in the common room eating and talking about their patients.

When Lizzie walks in, she’s surprised to see Hope sitting between Josie and Alyssa. 

“What are you doing here?” Lizzie asks the neurosurgeon while taking a seat next to Josie.

“I told Bennett I quit the chief job. I hated not being able to spend more time in the O.R.” Hope says.

“This means I can curse in front of you now!” Lizzie says enthusiastically.

“Sure, if you can’t help it.” Hope says in amusement.

“Hope is moving in tomorrow.” Josie informs her sister.

She leans over the table and looks closely at her sister. “She’s what?” 

“You can’t say no. Your girlfriend lives with us, so that is only fair.” Josie says.

“Oh well, I guess. But don’t come crying to me when she and Jade team up and give you hell.” 

Josie laughs. “Oh please, they won’t. I mean...” She glances at Hope suspiciously (and honestly kind of scared, too), then back at her sister. “Why would they?” 

“Trust me. I can recognize two kindred spirits when I see them.” 

Josie freezes for a second and then looks at Hope next to her, who has a mischievous and childish smirk on her face. “Please don’t give me hell?” Josie pleads.

“Oh I don’t know. Jade and I get along pretty well. We’re thinking of buying a Lego race track and set it up in the hallway.” 

Hope keeps smirking. But she’s not just teasing Josie though. The brunette is aware that she’s deadly serious. 

Josie stares at her blankly for a while, completely frozen. 

“If you don’t do that, I’ll allow you to visit Yogi.”

Hope chuckles and says no more. Their pagers start beeping a few moments later, putting an end to their break.

//

“Okay, Mr. Patmore. I will give you different pulses to see the waves generated. Remove your hands from your eyes. Are you still eight?” Hope asks.

”It's still eight.” The man says.

“We start the visual stimuli.” Alyssa says.

“I think I might have a solution.” Liv says. 

“No Liv, don’t think. Just check for the lab results.” Alyssa says.

Liv rolls her eyes and walks out of the room, but she doesn’t listen to her; instead, she goes to Rafael to ask for his opinion. Luckily she finds him in the hallway.

“Oh, little Saltzman. To what do I owe the plesure?” Rafael asks her with a smirk on his face.

She rolls her eyes and sighs. “Please don’t flirt right now, I need to ask you something.”

“At one condition.” He says. 

“Fine. What is it?” 

“I’d like you to move in with me.” 

“What?!” Liv shouts loud enough to make every nurse on the floor stare at them. She keeps quiet for a moment, waiting for them to get distracted and return to their job. “We’ve only been together for six months. And you are a resident.” She whispers.

“So what? Hope and Josie will move in together soon and it’s not a big deal for them. Why is it for you?” Rafael asks, almost getting defensive. 

Liv doesn’t really want to do this right now, because to her it is a big deal.

She nervously rubs her forehead and opens her eyes to look at him again. “Look, Raf, we can talk about this tonight. Right now, I really need your help for a patient.”

Rafael seems reluctant, but he manages to let go of the argument. He doesn’t want to seem too pushy about this. He really wants to be better, because Liv makes him a better person, but trying to do the right thing and keeping his ego at bay was something he still had to work on. 

Liv simply starts to explain Hope’s patient condition while they walk to his room. 

//

Jade and Valerie had spent the first half hour preparing all the necessary ingredients for a chocolate cake. Meanwhile, cookies were already in the oven. They limited their conversation to small talks, almost afraid to ruin the lightened mood that had set in the house. 

Jade was okay with the small talks, because even those were helping her to know more about Stefan and Valerie, about their life and their routine.

Stefan is an accountant. He enjoys watching football but not playing it. He likes beers and having a small glass of scotch after dinner. He also writes a journal in his free time. He says that he writes down his thoughts, sometimes poems for Valerie, sometimes for his long lost daughter. 

Valerie works at the city library. She grew up loving romances, classics and poems, a passion that she shares with Stefan.  
She was a teacher for a while back when she and Stefan lived in England. Valerie says they travel quite a lot by themselves. They have ‘waffles Sundays’; it’s their thing. Jade thinks it’s nice and wouldn’t mind take that tradition and make it hers too.

Valerie also says that she has a box with all the baby stuff that were supposed to be hers. And that seems to sadden Jade for a moment. Valerie notices. 

“I’m sorry if I went too far. I just want to be honest about everything with you and...share as much as I can. Even if you won’t start calling me mom right away, or maybe never, I understand that. But you are my daughter after all.” 

It’s like being stuck in a limbo. Between desperately wanting to have a family to call her own, but also not let her guard down because they might disappear again tomorrow. 

Both of them stay quiet. While Valerie stuffs the cake, Jade puts the fresh baked cookies in a plate one by one. Ten minutes go by like this, until Jade decides to break the silence.

“I’m sorry for how I treated you, it wasn’t fair.” She says, her voice low and shy. 

“You don’t have to apologize. We weren’t expecting you to welcome us with open arms. We knew it would take some time.”

“Yeah but still, I shouldn’t have been such an ass.” 

Valerie scoffs a laugh and turns to her side to face her daughter, resting her arm on the counter. She stares at her in awe, trying to take in as much as possible of her features. Jade looks so much like her; it’s heartwarming. 

“I’m proud of the person you’ve become, Jade. And you did it all by yourself. This means a lot. And yes, I might have suffered losing you, but it was even harder on you. Yet, look at you...” She smiles softly at her. 

Jade smiles back, and thinks that she wants this to work. She wants this- a mother and a father. Even if it was twenty three years later or thirty, it doesn’t matter now. 

She could never in her heart reject them.

//

“Dr. Mikaelson, a word.” Rafael says walking in the patient’s room.

Hope glances at the patient and forces a kind smile. “Excuse me one second.” Then she walks outside.

“Can I do a quick test on your patient?”

Hope shakes her head. “He suffers a lot. There is no need.”

“The thing is, Dr. Saltzman has had an interesting idea.“

Hope glances at Liv.

“I read something on the swelling and compression of the ethmoid nerve. I think if you put a lift in his nose...” 

“Excuse me...in his nose?” Alyssa asks stunned.

“If Dr. Saltzman is right, the patient will tell.” Rafael walks into the room to introduce himself to the patient. “Mr. Patmore, I'm Dr. Waithe. Chief of plastic surgery. I would like to make a quick test if you allow me. I’m going to touch you here, in your nose, just tell me if you feel pain or...anything.” He does so.

“That's it! This is pain! That's what causes the pain! Oh, my God!” The man shouts in pain.

“Anterior ethmoid neurovascular complex. A simple turbinectomy fix it. Unless you still want to take out his little brain.” He smiles at Hope satisfied.

Hope ignores his joke and smiles back. “Well done.”

//

Josie sits down next to Alyssa and Liv, while holding a strong needed coffee. 

“My cancer patient is dying. I hate seeing my loved ones die.” Josie says, feeling kind of miserable.

“Our patient is living with pain. With a current of 8 for 7 years. Because of an inflamed nerve in his nose, it's crazy.” Liv says. 

“It's a wimp. His eight is a three for me, I bear the pain.” Alyssa says. 

“Oh shut up, Landon and I made you watch Lord of the Rings once and you started whining like a baby, saying that you were in _actual physical pain.”_

“There's pain...and then there’s _torture._ And I endure the pain, go test me. Nothing.” Alyssa says.

“I actually witnessed that. She’s impressive.” Liv says admiring her.

“How did you diagnose this nerve? Because I have never heard of that.” Alyssa asks her.

“I remembered an article in the British journal of ENT. Number 47, page 19, 1964. Photographic memory.” She says almost embarrassed. 

People would always give her a creeped out look when she says things like that. Just like Alyssa is now. Josie, on the contrary, seems more impressed than scared. 

“What are you, a human talking encyclopedia?” Alyssa asks with a frown. 

“Something like that.” Liv says winking at her. 

While Josie gets paged by Hope and Liv follows the brunette, Lizzie walks into the room while eating a chocolate bar and sits next to Alyssa, who’s eating chips. 

“Chocolate?” 

Alyssa shakes her head. 

“Chips?”

Lizzie shakes her head too. 

“You know I like you, right?” Lizzie eyes her.

Alyssa looks at the blonde curiously. “Um, I do now?”

“I think you should come live with us. I know that you’re basically living in Jed’s apartment, and I think it would be good for you if you stayed with us.”

“Did Josie set you up to do this?” 

“No. It’s all me. But, if you don’t want this, I’ve also eyed an apartment not far from our neighborhood. Just...think about it, okay?” 

Alyssa smiles gratefully at the girl. Lizzie has never been mean to her, in fact, they even have a similar humor, so they usually get along just fine. They do poke each other a lot, but there’s always been respect and a certain fondness between the two.

“Thank you.” 

//

Liv walks in the O.R. after Rafael just performed a surgery, determined to tell him what she was really thinking about moving in together.

As Rafael sees her, he doesn’t say anything, because he knows she’s about to say something rather important.

“I’ve never lived with a guy before. And there are all the other interns...they hate residents. And I don’t want them to judge me or tell me that I’m being privileged because I’m not. And living with you, being in public together, I just think it would be a lot. I...maybe we should take a step back...”

“So you’re saying that you don’t want to move in with me because you’re scared of what your friends are going to say? Weren’t you the one that wanted more and that begged me to talk to Hope and Josie because you didn’t want to live in secret anymore?” He scoffs. “Apparently we still are.”

“Rafael-“

“No, Liv. I get it. You’re a child, how could I ever ask for something bigger than you from you? More than that, with someone like me.” 

“This has nothing to do with your past Raf, you know I don’t think about you like that.” She says. 

“Then I assume you’re just scared of commitment? I don’t know Olivia, honestly, what else could you want more?” His tone is harsh and almost pretentious, Liv thinks. 

“Would you even try to consider or understand my point of view here and not make this about your wounded ego?!” She snaps. 

“I understand you completely. I understand that I thought I was the one who needed a push to get his shit together -and you being you were enough to make that happen- instead it is you who needs to figure things out. You’re free to do it on your own then.” 

“Are you even listening to yourself right now?” Liv asks with a pained face. “Raf, I’m only asking you time...” 

“Dr. Waithe?” Josie walks into the room and glances at the two of them, suddenly feeling surrounded by a negative energy. Judging by their faces, she thinks they are probably having an argument, but Josie pretends she doesn’t know that. “We’re rescheduling Mr. Patmore’s operation to tomorrow morning.” 

“Good.” 

He throws the napkins in his hands in the bin and gives Liv one last disappointed glance before heading out of the room, while Josie stands there expectantly.

There comes a moment when you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. Like when you’re in the O.R. You could quit, but you’re not allowed to. You don’t allow yourself to do that. 

Relationships are not like that. We get scared and insecure, and we decide we can take a step back, as if that won’t hurt someone else, but it does. 

Somehow, battling with our feelings looks like a life or death situation. It feels like it. And it doesn’t apply only in the surgery field.

“Are you okay?” Josie asks her.

When her sister turns around with teary eyes and a pained face, her theory is confirmed.

“Can I stay at your place tonight?” She sniffles. “Dad is not home and I don’t feel like staying alone.”

Josie walks closer and places a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. “Of course you can.” 

Liv nods and smiles gratefully at the brunette, then she suddenly closes the distance between them in a hug. Josie is taken aback by the gesture, hesitant about even letting her arms surround the girl’s back, so she keeps her hands in the air for a moment.

Yes, her relationship with Liv was now more sisterly for sure, but this kind of affection was new to her. She was thinking of her as some sort of friend, but she still can’t feel about her as she feels about Lizzie. Sure, Lizzie is her other half, and it’s a totally different thing, but Josie’s feelings about Liv will always be...complicated. 

Eventually, she decides that this is not about her, and if the girl needs comfort, she shall give her that. So she lets her hands rest on her back, granting her that affection.

//

When Josie comes home and walks into her room, she’s surprised to see Hope already laying on her side of the bed under the covers. She’s initially focused on reading something, but as she sees Josie, her face lights up in a cheerful smile.

“Hi baby.” 

“You’re the baby.” Josie replies with a stern tone.

“Damn, you’re tired, okay.” Hope says, putting the magazine on the nightstand. 

Josie takes off her shoes and jumps in the middle of the bed, letting out a tired sigh. She keeps her eyes closed for a moment, then she glances at Hope, who is silently staring at her with a soft smile.

“What?” 

“I’m moving in tomorrow. You know what that means?” 

Josie looks thoughtful for a moment. “That you won’t sleep on that side of the bed for sure, because it’s mine.”

“Hey! I was warming it up for you for when you came back.” Hope says with a sad pout.

Josie smiles widely, thinking at how thoughtful and cheesy that was. “You were?”

“Oh don’t look so shocked, who do you think stocked up your stand of bath candles?” 

Josie sits up and looks at Hope with her mouth half open. “You...”

“And I also picked those fat plants you liked so much when we walked by the florist last week.” She says pointing at the shelf near the window. 

Josie hadn’t even noticed them. Hope probably always does things like this without her even noticing.

“And, last but not least-“ She turns around to open Josie’s nightstand drawer and picks up something, then she faces Josie again, holding what seemed a ring box in her hand.

Josie instantly snaps back and looks at Hope in shock. “Hope Mikaelson, you’re not...”

Hope chuckles and stops her before Josie can put the phrase together. “I’m not, Jesus. At least now I know how you feel about me eventually proposing.” 

Josie lets out a small sigh and shakes her head. She actually wouldn’t feel bad about that at all, but doing it now would’ve been totally unexpected, considering they were just starting to live together.

Hope opens the box and hands it to Josie, who slowly pulls out a necklace. She takes a close look at it and smiles softly. “Hope, this is beautiful.”

“It’s a talisman. The legend says that it makes quiet things heard. I don’t know why I picked this out of everything, I just really liked it. And I guess also because I never want you to hold back on anything you want to say or want to do. I think you can become something - someone - great, although, you already are to me.” She smiles softly, “More importantly, this way I’m sure I will always hear you; like if you’re in an accident and you need help or something. I’m sure I will hear you if you call my name, even from miles away.”

Josie stares at her with teary eyes and tenderness, suddenly reconsidering her previous thought. 

If that necklace had been a ring, she would have been the luckiest girl on earth. She still is, though. 

“Because you’re always in my corner.” 

Hope smiles softly and caresses Josie’s cheek. “That’s right. I am.” 

“But...why did you do all of this?” 

Hope shrugs and smiles. “Why wouldn’t I?”

The brunette sighs contently and leans in to crown the moment with a sweet kiss. She lets Hope put on the necklace and then crawls into her arms, careless of the fact that she still had her clothes on and really needed a shower.

“Since you’re moving in tomorrow, I think you should know something.” Josie mutters with her face buried in Hope’s chest.

“What is it?” Hope asks curiously.

“Alyssa is moving in too.”

Hope’s jaw drops for a moment. “Alyssa is what?”

Josie figures it’s the best time to throw the news, since Hope loves her so much right at this very moment, and might not love her tomorrow. It’s not that Hope and Alyssa didn’t get along, but...

They weren’t exactly compatible, either.

Hope smacks her lips together and then clears her throat, then nods, then sighs heavily.

_Oh boi._

“So you can keep a dog _and_ Alyssa and I can’t bring Yogi?!” She yells.

Josie sighs and hides an amused smile into Hope’s chest. “Now you’re comparing a human being to a bear, too.”

“I’m buying the race track.” Hope says firmly.

She never gets tired of punching back when she cares about something.

“Whatever.” Josie hopes she’ll just let this go at this point, although this side of Hope amuses her very much.

“What if we build a farm house? We could have all the animals we want. Yogi included.” 

“Do you really want our future kids growing in a zoo?” Josie asks. “What’s next? You’re adopting a legless lizard?” 

“Would you like that?” Hope smirks.

“Yeah actually.” Josie admits.

“Ha. Good. Then we have an arrangement.” Hope says, finally feeling accomplished. She smiles and looks up at the ceiling, so dreamy. “I should find Yogi a girlfriend so they can have babies too.” 

Josie groans and sinks her face in Hope’s stomach. “If you want to do that, you’re sleeping with the bears.”

“So I would basically be a guest in my own house. I can’t ask for anything. I have no rights. No powers...”

Josie raises her head to meet blue eyes and places a sweet kiss on her girlfriend’s lips to shut her up. “I’m just messing with you.” 

“I know.” Hope‘s pout fades and is replaced with a weak smile. “But still no Yogi?” She asks in a small and soft voice.

Josie doesn’t let her cuteness get to her. If she gave in every time Hope did puppy eyes, Josie would be spoiling the princess just like her father always had. “No Yogi.” She says firmly.

Hope’s face is literally the sad emoji. But then she shrugs and sighs, deciding to let it go. “Fine.” 

Silence falls between them. Then Hope speaks again.

“Will Alyssa be coming here in the middle of the night?” 

“I can’t promise you anything.” Josie mumbles, feeling rather sleepy now. 

“Just so I’m prepared for this, should I propose to both you and Alyssa, like um, eventually?” 

Josie chuckles and holds on tighter to Hope. She can’t help but wonder why she was addressing to _eventually proposing_ so much, but she won’t bring that up. It might seem too much pressure, although Hope would probably give her the world if she only asked for it. 

For the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending, most of the time. 

And sometimes despite our best intentions and trying so hard to make our best choices, fate wins anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #justiceforYogi


	31. Chapter 31

As surgeon, you are trained to fix what’s broken. The breaking point is a start at work. But in our lives, the breaking point is a sign of weakness.

And we’ll do everything we can to avoid it. 

Hope and Josie are sleeping, or at least Hope is. Josie is slowly awaken by someone tapping on her shoulder. She opens her eyes, sleepy and confused, and sees Alyssa next to her bed. 

“Alyssa...what are you doing here?” She mumbles, still half asleep.

“Jed is back, and he said he wants to talk. Now I can’t sleep.”

Josie rubs her eyes and sighs lightly, while Alyssa sits there, almost feeling sorry for waking her best friend up for something so silly. It’s not like she could do anything about it in the middle of the night. 

“I’m sorry, I should go...”

“Come on, jump in.” Josie says tapping her hand on the free spot next to her. 

Alyssa smiles weakly and lays down next to the brunette, falling asleep after not long. 

In the morning, Hope is the first one to wake up, and as she places her arm around Josie’s waist, her arm bumps against something-someone-. 

_Does Josie have a third arm?_

She raises her head in confusion and looks past Josie, seeing Alyssa spooning the brunette on the other side. 

It’s the fifth time that happens.

She frowns and then sinks her head back in the pillow. Only half an hour later, the alarms of everyone in the house go off. 

“All I’m saying is that I feel like I am the intruder in our own bed. But last time I checked, she was not the one you’ve been sleeping with for the past year.” Hope says sitting at the kitchen table. 

The kitchen is...crowded. Everyone is having breakfast at the same time and there are only two bathrooms. And definitely not so much privacy. 

Josie sighs tiredly. Hope has been complaining since she woke up and nothing’s stopping her. Usually, Josie is able to put her foot down and calm her, but Hope seemed really moody that day. 

“You’re scared I’m gonna steal your girlfriend, Mikaelson?” Alyssa jokes while biting a cookie.

Josie looks at the raven haired girl with a scolding face, while Hope gives her a death look. 

“Oh, sorry, too soon?” Alyssa covers her mouth feigning to be sorry. 

“They come as a set, you should know that by now.” Lizzie tells Hope.

“Too bad I’m not into polygamy.” 

“Oh, I think we know that for a fact.” Jade says grinning in amusement. 

“Guys, we’re gonna be late.” Liv says, while carrying her bag in the living room.

“Who’s driving?” Lizzie asks. 

“You and Jade can come with me.” Liv says.

“So that leaves me, Josie and Alyssa. I’m in the trunk, of course.” Hope says, sarcastically, of course.

Josie rolls her eyes and slaps on her arm. “Just stop it, both of you.”

Hope sighs in defeat and crosses her arms on her chest, looking at Josie with a pout. “Fine.”

This was going to be hard.

/ /

Liv, Josie and Jade are in the common room sitting on the couch. While Josie reads the paper and Jade sips coffee and stares at her phone, Liv keeps eyeing Rafael on the other side of the room, an increasing frustration bothering her.

“He‘s been ignoring me for weeks. Seriously?” Liv whispers harshly.

Only then Jade starts paying attention to her and sees who she was referring to. “You told him you were afraid of people judging and wanted to take a step back, he’s giving you what you want.” 

“I didn’t ask for the silent treatment.” 

Josie turns her attention from her paper to Liv. “Maybe you should just talk to him. I mean, if he’s so serious about you, why don’t give it a shot? Just move in with him.”

“Josie, do you know what the other interns say about you and Hope?” 

Jade giggles while Josie looks between both girls with a worried face. “Wha-what do they say?”

“That you’re the bossy student with the kink and that she’s very...bendy.” 

Josie gasps in shock while Jade keeps choking her laughs in the palm of her hand. 

“The one time I have sex in the on call rooms I get caught?!” Josie whispers harshly. Her face becomes serious. “Do you...know about the...”

“Yeah, I know.” Jade says amused.

Josie hides her face in her hands. “Oh fuck.” 

“Yeah, you say that a lot too.”

More laughter.

Josie throws the paper at Jade, and at the same moment Bennett enters the room, followed by Lizzie and Alyssa.

“You three. You’re all at my service today. Follow me.” 

When they arrive in the conference room, there are ten more doctors waiting for Bennett to explain what was that about. 

Liv freezes as soon as she sees Rafael talking to...Maya? 

“What is Maya doing here?” 

Hope hears her and turns around to glance at her. “She’s here for Bennett’s project.” 

Liv keeps staring at the two of them chatting and smiling as if they were still on good terms, and maybe they really were. She can’t help but feel this rush of jealousy hitting her. She almost wants to storm in between them and drag him away from her, but she can’t do that.

She has no right to do that. 

Sebastian is there too, and soon he approaches Lizzie with his charming smile.

“Elizabeth, fancy seeing you here.”

Jade frowns and looks at him with a face that hints disgust, “We all work here.” Pointing out the obvious.

“Are you ready for billiards night?” He asks Lizzie. 

“Oh yeah, you know, I’ve gotten so much better...I’m going to crush you guys.” She says.

“I wouldn’t bet on it. You can win over the others but you’ll always lose against me.” 

Lizzie looks at him in a challenging way. “We’ll see about that.” 

Only after Sebastian walks away, Lizzie notices the way Jade is looking at her: like she might kill someone, or her, even.

“What was that? And- billiards night?” 

“No big deal. We’ve been hanging out for a while. It’s not just us though, there’s also Sasha, Diego, Connor, Kaleb...”

Jade shakes her head, feeling it bursting with informations. “Okay, um, since when?” 

“I don’t know...” She pauses, trying to sound cool, “Like a month or so.” 

“While I was in Pittsburgh?!” 

Lizzie sighs and rolls her eyes. “Jade, we’re just friends.”

“Then why haven’t you talked to me about it?” 

Luckily for Lizzie, unluckily for Jade, Bennett starts to talk to everyone.

“So, this is a project I've been working on for a long time, and it's very important to me, therefore it will be very important to you. And the only way we can pull this thing off is if we work together as a team. So today, you are not 15 individual doctors, you are one team of surgeons representing this hospital. Is everybody clear on that?” 

“Um, why would they need so many doctors for one surgery?” Jade asks titling her head to Josie, but without being very subtle.

Josie shrugs. “I-” 

“Because it's not just one surgery. It's twelve surgeries... six kidney transplants in six O.R.’s. A paired matching kidney donation.” Bennett explains.

“Six people donate kidneys to total strangers, six people get kidneys from total strangers. Twelve people walk away happy.” Hope adds. 

“It’s a freaking domino surgery.” Alyssa says enthusiastically. 

“Since we can’t allow anyone to back off, you have to give these patients not only the best cares, but also keep them happy. Any more questions?” Bennett glances at every face in the room. No one talks, they just look at each other awkwardly. “Good. Look on the board to see who you’re teamed with and who is your pair. Everyone dismissed.” 

With that being said, Bennett walks out of the room, while the interns start to thin out in the corridors. 

Before Josie can walk out of the room, Hope blocks her way and places her hands on the brunette’s hips. 

“I want a kidney in a jar.” Josie says, almost like a child asking for her Christmas present. 

Hope smiles and nods. “You have the weirdest kinks.”

“Oh, about that...” Jade steps in trying to say something, but Josie grabs the blonde’s face in her hand and pushes her away, making her stumble back, but Jade is still choking in her laugh in the meantime.

Hope glances weirdly between the two of them. “What?” 

“Nothing.” Josie’s voice squeals, but she brushes off the subject, not wanting to make Hope uncomfortable, like she already was. 

So the brunette places a chaste kiss on her lips before walking out of the room, dragging Jade with her, and leaving Hope standing there in confusion.

/ /

Liv can swear she’s never been a crazy, creepy person. Not until this time, at least. She followed Rafael and Maya all the way to the common room, trying to eavesdrop their conversation. She should not be doing this, but let’s face it, it was only a matter of time before she started acting like a Parker. 

While she stands outside the room trying to hear something (unsuccessfully), she gets too caught up in her own thoughts and paranoia to even hear footsteps coming from the room. It’s already too late when she tries to escape from there.

Next thing she knows, she’s face to face with Rafael, who’s staring curiously at her. “Hello.” His voice is steady and far too professional.

_Oh, get over yourself._

Liv looks around her nervously and clears her throat. “Hello.” 

“What are you looking for?”

“Nothing. I was...I was just..” She stammers a few incoherent words. “What are you doing with Maya?” She finally asks. 

It’s too late to think about her dignity anyway. 

Rafael scoffs and looks at her with his usual attitude of superiority and alpha male, which to be honest, Liv doesn’t even know how it could be such a turn on for her before.

“I believe we’re not together anymore, right?”

“I never wanted to break up with you.” 

“And you tell me this...after weeks? Seriously Liv, do you think I’m some kind of idiot?” 

She sighs. “What are you doing with Maya?” She asks again, almost impatiently. She just needs to know, before she goes mad. 

“Whatever I do with Maya, it’s none of your business.”

“You’re really doing this just because I pushed you away one time? Raf, I’m sorry, okay? Maybe I’m still a child, like you said. But remember you’re also my teacher, and you promised me you’d teach me...everything.” Her voice lowers and softens. “So please, tell me how to do this.” 

It’s a moment. A slight second where Liv can see his gaze softening, and she thinks he’s going to agree to this. She really thinks so, but Maya has the perfect timing, and steps next the two of them with a warm and annoying smile.

“Oh my God, of course you’re their sister. You look so much like Lizzie. You’re Olivia, right?” 

Liv looks away from Rafael to meet Maya’s gaze, forcing a fake smile and pretending really hard to be nice.

“Yeah, I am.” 

“Nice to meet you. Raf, about tonight, eight is good for you?” 

Liv’s jaw drops in disappointment and hurt, and Rafael pretends not to notice that, facing Maya. “Yes, of course.” 

With Maya gone, he’s forced to look back at Liv, meeting the same pained face as before. “Of course, why am I surprised?” 

“Olivia...”

He tries to grab her wrist, but she’s way faster and escapes him before he can say more.  
So, maybe she was wrong. But even if she wanted to blame him and only him, she damned herself for letting him go in the first place.

//

It had been a weird couple of weeks, more precisely-quiet. Since Rebekah was still ignoring her and she was honestly too embarrassed to take another shot, Davina decided to give them some space and focus on work. 

Unexpectedly, Davina had found herself getting closer to Rafael, and becoming really good friends. If it wasn’t for this new established friendship, these weeks would’ve been way more difficult and lonely. 

But today, Bennett’s domino surgery will inevitably bring them together. 

That can’t be so bad, can it?

One thing that became clear to the brunette was that she does like the blonde pediatric surgeon. There was no point in keep lying about it. Rafael had been really supportive and he kept telling her that she should, instead, take another shot. Show Rebekah that she wasn’t some scared newborn baby, and that she knows what she wants. 

She’s walking out of the elevator when the two bump into each other. Surprisingly, Rebekah gives Davina one of her warmest smiles. 

“Morning. Big day, huh?” 

“Yeah, um, I really hope we can pull this off.”

“If someone can make a domino surgery work, it’s Bonnie Bennett.” Rebekah says, still smiling. 

There is this light about her, that just can’t go unnoticed. Davina assumed the girl was mad at her or didn’t want anything to do with her, yet she’s the warmest and kindest person she knows. 

“Look, Rebekah...” She lowers her gaze and presses her lips together nervously, struggling to find the right words, “I think you were wrong about me.” 

Rebekah frowns, not really following her, and Davina soon clears up what she meant to say.

“I might have...never had a girlfriend or even thought of dating a girl in the first place, but that doesn’t mean I’m a scared little girl who can’t face her feelings. In fact, I am facing them, therefore...I’m asking you again, to go out with me.”

While Davina keeps staring at the blonde with a serious face, Rebekah can’t hold a happy and satisfied smile, feeling both flattered and kind of proud of the girl.

“All right...don’t need to get so serious.” 

Davina narrows her eyes and then bursts out laughing. “That’s it? That’s all that took?” 

“Yeah, I like to play it hard sometimes. Sorry.” 

(She wasn’t sorry.)

Rebekah steps in the elevator while Davina keeps glancing at her with a mischievous smile and arms crossed on her chest.

“I’ll see you tonight.” Rebekah says. 

The elevator doors close, the brunette is left staring and smiling at her own reflection on the doors.

//

Alyssa is talking to her two patients when Jed walks surprisingly into the room. She’s pretty sure he’s not on that case with her. 

“I’m on this case with you.” He says.

_What the..._

“No you’re not.” Alyssa states firmly.

“I am now, I switched with Claire.”

Alyssa squeezes her eyes close and tries to keep calm. “And why would you do that?”

“Because we need to talk, Alyssa, and you keep avoiding me.”

She sighs and shakes her head. “Not now.”

“Oh please, don’t stop on our account.” Her patient says, along with the other patient who nods in agreement.

“I’m really doing better, okay? And I know I haven’t told you everything but I want to, so you know you can trust me.”

“Oh please, do tell.” She says sarcastically, a fake smile on her face. 

“There was nothing between me and Keelin. I...I was with her sister, while we were on a mission. And...well, I cheated on her. And then...she died, during an attack. I guess between the whole cheating thing and then that...she hates me.”

“I knew that.”

“You know?” He frowns.

“Yes, she told me. We’re actually on really good terms now, we talk about you all the time.” She says.

“Alyssa, please...” He steps closer to her. “I love you.” 

She stares firmly and coldly into his eyes. “I don’t care. You should have been honest with me from the start.” 

“I get it doctor.” The guy patient tells Alyssa. “She cheated on me too. Apparently she’s a lesbian now or whatever, but we had this surgery scheduled, so...”

“Yes, because I am a decent person and I’m saving your life.” The girl says.

“A decent person?! You cheated on me! You’re only doing this out of guilt!” 

“Fine! Who cares if you live or die?! Don’t take my kidney then!”

“Who even wants the kidney of a cheater?! Perhaps you would transmit me your cheater genes!”

“Oh oh, be careful! I might turn you into a lesbian, too!”

“All right, stop it you two!” Alyssa shouts, ending the bickering between the two. 

“I don’t want her kidney! This was a mistake. Put me on a list or something.”

Alyssa and Jed glance at each other with concern, fearing how Bennett will react to this. There was nothing they could do but call U.N.O.S., and try to find a new match for the guy. 

/ /

“I don’t get why this kid is so mean to his dad, I mean really...he’s sick. Have a little compassion or whatsoever.” Jade says while Josie has her eyes focused on the chart. “It’s honestly so selfish of him. All he cares about is his payed vacation.“ 

Josie raises her gaze and gives the girl a stern look. “Maybe his father did something really bad to make him so angry.” 

“Maybe he just cares about his son, but the moron is too emotionally stunted to let him.” 

Josie scoffs a laugh and raises her eyebrows, feeling the subject far too personal to keep her mouth shout.

“So you’re saying, even if he might have his reasons to be mad at his father, he’s an ungrateful kid.” 

“Josie, he’s lucky to have had a father all his life. I didn’t know I had one until three months ago. And parents would forgive their kids for anything, the least we can do is do the same with them.” 

“Oh my God.” Josie rubs a hand on her forehead and and sighs in frustration. “Do you even know who you’re talking to?” 

Jade drops her jaw in realization and starts shaking her head in denial. “Josie...I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Well, except you did. So now I know how you really feel about me. Yes I was selfish, maybe I still am. You think I‘m going to regret that I don’t want anything to do with him. And that makes me ungrateful because I have a dad who wanted to make it right but I pushed him away...”

“Josie...”

“You know, Jade, just because you’re lucky enough to have such great parents who will do anything but disappoint you, doesn’t mean we can all have that kind of luck. Sometimes it’s hard. Maybe it’s because my alcoholic father was never worthy of my forgiveness. Maybe it hurts too much.”

Jade places two hands on her arms to stop her from rambling, keeping the brunette steady in front of her and looking at her with an apology look. 

“I get it. You’re right...and I’m sorry if you felt like I was judging you for your actions and your choices. I’m sorry.” 

Josie sighs deeply, her lips are still sealed and she’s still glaring at Jade with an angry frown. But then she suddenly relaxes and softens a bit.

“It’s...it’s fine. Sorry for snapping at you.”

“No, I’m sorry. And the last thing I want right now is fighting with you. I already have my share of fighting with Lizzie...”

“What’s wrong with you two?” Josie asks curiously.

“She’s...being weird lately. Suddenly she started with wanting to do all of these things and... and well I indulged her. Then it’s like she’s always so chatty but also jumpy...and she’s keeping things from me. I don’t know why. If she’s just friends with that Sebastian guy, why not be honest and tell me?”

Josie sighs. “Lizzie has the bad habit of doing what she wants and even if it might seem wrong to you, if it isn’t for her...then she’ll just keep doing it. So I doubt she’ll stop seeing him just because you’re jealous. You just have to trust her.” 

“I’m not...” Josie gives at her a pointed look. “It’s not that. I mean yes but...I just have a bad feeling about whatever this is.”

“I’m sure you’ll sort it out.” Josie says caressing Jade’s arm to comfort her. 

In the same moment, Hope walks towards them, visibly upset.

“Your patients just had a fight and now we have two problems. U.N.O.S. still doesn’t have a match for the guy with the ex girlfriend and Bennett is losing it.”

“So what do we do now?”

“We can’t do nothing really. We just have to let the patients go home.”

Josie hates thinking of this as a failure. Sure, it wasn’t her own project to save, but this was a multiple saving life chance all at once. How could she miss that? How could anyone not want to be a part of this miracle? 

“Okay, I will go talk to the kid. Hope, you have to talk to the guy.”

“Why me?”

“Because you know how it feels to be betrayed and how to forgive. And I think we can still pull this off if we talk to them.” 

Hope smiles widely and places a gentle kiss on Josie’s lips, surprising the brunette. “I love you...so much. You’re a star, my hero, my biggest inspiration...”

Josie chuckles and pulls her away. “Yeah yeah, now let me go fix this, _kiss ass.”_

While she walks away, Hope stands there next to Jade, still staring at Josie from afar with a smile on her face. “I can’t believe I’m marrying that girl.” 

Jade glances at Hope first in confusion, then in shock. “You’re what?” 

Hope’s eyes widens as she freezes for a moment, unable to say something-anything-to save herself.

But why would she? It’s the truth after all.

“I was just...I’m not gonna propose any soon, okay? It’s just a thought that lies in the back of my mind, _in the very back of my mind._ And...and let’s just keep it there, okay?”

“All right Hopey, no need to poop in your pants, your secret’s safe with me. But remember...I will call dibs for your wedding.”

Hope rolls her eyes and walks away, decided to go talk to her patient and fix things to get the surgeries done.

Luckily, Hope and Josie managed to convince their patients to do the right thing and all the surgeries were a success. Both Alyssa and Josie had the honors to hold the living kidneys in their hands, and it felt really good.

Day by day they realize even more why they love doing what they do so much. It’s not only about saving lives, it’s also about the adrenaline and the feeling of power that rushes through you while you’re fighting to defeat death. It becomes personal. It always is.

But not so good was when after the surgery, the kid’s father had a seizure, meaning that something was wrong.

Both Josie and Jade went to talk to the boy, explaining his father’s condition.

“It means he could be dying, and he doesn't know you give a crap. Maybe you don't, but if you do, he's dying, and you're gonna be too late.” Jade says.

“Jade.” Josie calls her out, but Jade doesn’t listen. 

“He's asking for you, and you're gonna be too late, and you're gonna live with it for the rest of your life. You really want to live with that?”

With that, Josie doesn’t know what else to say, or even think. A wave of sadness and guilt hits her, making her question herself and her choices; making her doubt about everything she’s ever thought about her dad. 

Maybe she was too proud and until now, she still believed she had good reasons not to want it-a father, a bond. Her sister was at least trying, while Josie wasn’t making any effort and was never intentioned to. 

Should she change that? 

//

Alyssa, Jade and Josie are sitting by the bar counter sipping their drinks and relaxing after that long and stressful day. 

Jade kept eyeing Lizzie from the other side of the bar, with Sebastian all over her, everyone laughing and already half drunk. 

“Should I go over there?” 

Josie glances at her sister and then back at Jade. “She won’t do anything stupid, don’t worry.”

“Like moving to the Caribbean?” Alyssa jokes.

Both Jade and Josie give her a pointed look. “You really don’t know when you hit a nerve, do you?” 

“Oh no I know, I just think it’s fun.” She smiles proudly to herself.

“Hello ladies.” Hope steps between them with a wide smile and then captures Josie’s lips with a sweet kiss. “I have something for you.”

“A ring?” 

Hope gives Jade a stern look.

“I hope it’s a card that says ‘I’m moving out’.” Alyssa says.

“It’s a locker. To lock you in your room at night.” Hope tells her, while Alyssa looks at her narrowing her eyes in a menacing way. 

“Hope.” Josie smiles to soften the auburn haired girl, who instantly relaxes again and places a bag on the counter. 

When Josie peeks a look, she gasps in surprise as she takes out a jar with a kidney inside. “Oh my God, you got me a kidney!” 

“Mikaelson, we can still fix what’s between us, you know?” Alyssa says leaning over Hope, who fakes a smile and then turns her attention back to Josie. 

“Bennett agreed with me that you deserved this. After all, it was mostly because of you, and me, that today was a success.” Hope says.

“Oh sure, it’s not like we didn’t play our part too. Very humble of you Mikey.” Jade says. 

She just never stops giving her nicknames, but Hope can only let go at this point. Jade has an ace up her sleeve after all.

Josie smiles widely and kisses her girlfriend sweetly. “I love you. You’re the best, my hero, my heart, my goddess...”

“Yeah yeah, _kiss ass.”_ Hope laughs. 

Meanwhile, Liv was slightly drunk and decided to go outside to call Rafael. Probably not the best moment to do it, but if alcohol could give her enough courage, then fine.

“I know you’re off somewhere with Maya...but before you do anything stupid, please listen to this. Just...let’s try this again, please? I care about you, Raf. I...I really do. I care. And...And I’m not gonna stop. And I know you care about me too. So please...don’t hurt me with Maya. Just don’t.” 

She exhales heavily and looks around her, almost hoping to see him there. She feels her thoughts too clouded and can’t think of anything else to say, so after a long pause, she just hangs up. 

When she goes to bed that night, she dreams of Rafael coming back to her.

Later that night, Hope and Josie are finally cuddling in bed. Josie admires the jar on her nightstand while holding on tight to Hope. “Next time I want an appendix.” 

“Gosh, you’re so weird.” 

There’s a sudden knock on the door, and Josie allows to come in. The door opens slowly, revealing Jade with a tired and sad look. “I’m...sorry for bothering you guys..”

Judging by Jade’s tone, something must be really wrong, since she never asks for help or goes into Josie’s room without having a good reason. “What’s wrong?” Josie asks in concern.

“Lizzie said someone would drive her back home but...she hasn’t come back yet.” She scoffs a bitter laugh and looks down the floor. 

Josie doesn’t want to think what Jade is thinking until she sees her sister to confirm or deny it, but the girl seems to know better. Or maybe she doesn’t. Maybe Lizzie is in trouble and something serious happened.

At the same moment, Josie’s phone lights up and a notification pops in. 

Lizzie.

**Lizzie:** _Not coming home tonight. Don’t worry, I’m fine !!_

Josie honestly feels like it‘s a stranger texting her, and not her sister. But she can’t tell Jade about this; she’s already too upset as it is. Apparently, Hope thinks the same, because involuntarily she reads the message too, and both of them make a silent agreement to deal with this the right way. 

Hope glances back at Jade and pats her hand on empty space between them. “Come here. Stay with us.” 

Jade doesn’t need to be asked twice, and quickly jumps in bed between the two girls. Josie glances at Hope, gives her a soft smile and mimes a silent ‘thank you’. 

They comfort Jade for about two hours, before all three of them fall asleep only three hours before the alarm goes off.

Bones break, organs burst, flesh tears. In the O.R., we can sew the flesh, repair the damage, ease the pain. But when life breaks down, when we break down, there’s no science.

You’re there to feel it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up: next chapter is a sad one.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // manic episode
> 
> I apologize if some parts of this chapter might be a little too much for some of you. I tried to educate myself as much as I could. I also apologize if I got anything wrong. 
> 
> Forgive me for the ending :(

In life, only one thing is certain, apart from death and taxes, is that no matter how hard you try, you’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to hurt people. And you’re going to get hurt.

As surgeons, patients need to know the truth, we owe them that. The truth is always painful, but sometimes it’s also all we have to give. Sometimes the truth stings, but even if you don’t wanna hear it, it’s still there. There’s no point in ignoring it. 

Even if it hurts, you have to feel it all and deal with it.

Alyssa walks down the kitchen and sits at the table with Hope and Josie, who are quietly having breakfast. It’s 5am and none of them had had much to sleep, especially Josie, who wanted to be awake for when Lizzie came back and talk to her before she could talk to Jade. 

Maybe it’s wrong from them to assume the worst. Josie shouldn’t doubt her sister like this. She knows her. But then again, Josie never thought she herself could ever cheat on someone, yet she did. 

Perfection is only a fantasy after all. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes.

“Is Lizzie back yet?” Alyssa whispers.

Both girls shake their heads in denial and keep eating quietly. They are so tired. 

“Shouldn’t we call her? Ask her if she’s okay?”

“I texted her, she said she’s on her way.” Josie says. 

In that same moment, they hear the front door opening and Josie glances at the two girls, takes a deep breath and then goes to face her sister. As Lizzie sees Josie standing behind her with arms crossed on her chest, she freezes, and then giggles in amusement.

She thinks Josie looks like their mom whenever she was about to scold them for doing something wrong. She has the same stern look. There’s also a bit of disappointment in her face. 

While Lizzie looks just like someone who has been busted doing something bad. If Josie didn’t want to think badly of her sister before, her attitude now isn’t making her look any more innocent. 

“We need to talk.” Josie says firmly.

Lizzie sighs and takes off her shoes. “I have to shower first.”

“No, you have to talk, first. Because I’ve been with Jade all night, and only God knows what it’s going on in her mind right now.” 

“What is going on in yours, Jo?” Lizzie asks with a cocky smile.

Josie stands still for a moment, astonished by how Lizzie is acting, like she’s a completely different person. She can’t still be drunk. 

“Lizzie, what happened last night?” She insists. 

Lizzie shrugs, her tone is casual and completely relaxed. “I had some fun, can’t a girl have that once in a while?” 

“You stayed the night out, Lizzie.” Josie’s tone was rising and growing angrier. “What did you do?” 

“You know Jo, I’m your sister. You’re supposed to be on my side, or whatever. I don’t really like your tone.”

“And I don’t really like your behavior. Do you think that because you’re my sister I won’t tell you when you’re screwing up?! Jade is one of the best person I know and if you did something you shouldn’t have done, have the decency to be honest about it.” 

It was worse than a mother scolding her child for doing a bad thing. So, maybe she was being a little overprotective of Jade, but it’s not like she wouldn’t be if the positions were reversed. 

Lizzie rolls her eyes in annoyance and abandons her arms to her sides. “Fine, Jo. It was nothing serious, I fucked up. I’ll fix it.” 

Josie scoffs a bitter laugh. “You..you’ll fix it?” But suddenly something clicks in Josie’s mind. 

She tries to recall everything she knows, everything her sister did, everything she said.

Realization hits her like a break.

“Lizzie did you...did you stop taking your meds?” 

Josie’s tone is low and...hurt, like she’s now the one in pain. She wonders how could she have not seen this, prevented this, how could she have not noticed Lizzie’s changing behavior, that led to a manic episode. 

“Oh relax, I’m fine, totally. By the way, I’m heading out again later to spend the weekend away with the boys, so if you could help me pack something before we head to the hospital that’d be great.” Her speech is so fast, Josie struggles to keep up with everything she says. 

Josie finally moves to grab Lizzie’s wrist and stop her right there. “You’re not going anywhere. You have to take your meds and we’re scheduling an appointment with your psychiatrist right away.”

“God, why are you always such a buzz killer?! Let me live.” 

Suddenly Josie feels a comforting hand on her shoulder. It’s Hope. The brunette only then acknowledges that she’s there. 

“Lizzie, why don’t you take some rest today?” Hope suggests. “I can tell Bennett you were sick.” 

“I’m fine!” She laughs. “You know, there was this guy that tried to hit on me while I was in the bathroom... I just smashed his head against the mirror. He should be fine, though. I told him I could stitch him up because.. _ha,_ I’m a doctor, you know? But he said, and I quote ‘stay away from me you stupid bitch!’.” She frowns, indignant. “How. Rude.” 

Josie glances at her girlfriend, literally holding her breath while taking in everything her sister was saying. But Hope tries to reassure the brunette with a gentle squeeze on her shoulder. 

“Lizzie, I have an idea. Why don’t you take a shower and have something to eat? Sebastian and the others are not leaving until tomorrow, right?” 

Josie thanks God for Hope, because she’s desperately trying not to feel overwhelmed by all of this, but she’s miserably failing. 

“Well I guess we could do that too. I mean, I can’t really see Sebastian again now.” She starts giggling like a teenager, “I stole a fifty from his wallet to get a cab.” She whispers.

She’s completely out of control, and to be honest, Josie doesn’t know how to deal with this Lizzie. When this happened in the past, her mom was there too. Josie always dealt with minimal breakdowns, where she was actually able to reach her sister in some way. 

“Okay...let’s go take a shower now. We’ll think about the rest later.” Josie says while walking Lizzie towards the stairs. 

“Fine. Hey! Tell Jade I want pancakes! With chocolate chips!” She shouts looking down at Hope, while Josie keeps pushing her from behind on the stairs. 

“Yeah, I’ll tell her.” Hope smiles softly. 

But before Josie can make Lizzie disappear into the bathroom, Jade walks out of Josie’s room and to them. She freezes at the sight of Lizzie in front of her. 

“Hi babe, you’re awake! Make some pancakes while I take a shower, would you?” She places a chaste kiss on Jade’s lips, catching her by surprise. 

“Okay, enough.” 

Josie pushes her sister in the bathroom, closing the door behind her, while Jade walks downstairs and sees Hope looking at her almost with sadness. 

“What’s going on?” 

Hope tells Jade everything they’ve learned so far, and the girl feels overwhelmed with so many contrasting feelings. 

Does she get mad because Lizzie cheated on her?

Does she get worried because Lizzie is not okay? 

Does she have to forgive her actions considering it was all part of her mania? 

Either way, one thing doesn’t help the other. But she still knows what’s a priority to her.

“I should be there for her.” 

“She’s resting now. Josie slipped her pills in her food, she will be asleep for a while.” Hope says. 

“Well then I should stay here in case she wakes up and needs someone.” 

“I think you all should go.” Alyssa says, capturing their attention and Josie’s, who was just walking in the kitchen. “I’ll stay. You obviously need a break, and a few surgeries will do the work.” 

“No...I should stay. She’s my responsibility. I have to be here for her. You guys go, I can handle this.” Josie says.

“Josie, are you sure? I can stay with you if you need me.” Hope whispers while holding her hand.

Josie smiles softly. “Yeah...I’m sure, go.” 

The reality is that pain is always there to tell us something.

//

Rafael walks around the hospital as if he’s a ghost. He almost feels physically sick, other than mad at himself. 

He had one job.

He‘s starting to believe he’s really the worst person alive. 

When he listened to Liv’s message, it was already too late. The damage was done, and he couldn’t take it back. But maybe it was for the best, for Olivia. She obviously deserves better than this, better than him. 

He’s not worthy. Not of her, not of Maya, not of Hope. 

Hope. 

Disappointing Hope is probably the worst part. He doesn’t know how he will look her in the eyes and tell her that he fucked up once again. Honestly, he would punch himself if he could. 

(He could, but he won’t.)

“Rafael?” 

_No, please._

_Not now._

_Maybe never._

He turns around with a pale face and a serious look.

“Olivia.” 

Liv smiles shyly. “Using my full name, huh? Are you...are you still mad at me?”

“Oh, um, no. I’m not mad.” 

“Did you get my message?” She asks hopefully.

Rafael’s mouth drops open for a moment, unable to make any sound for what feels like minutes.

“I...yes. I did.” 

Liv sighs and keeps looking at him with the softest and hopeful eyes. It’s killing him. 

“We can’t be together, Olivia.” 

Sadness hits her. 

“W-why? I told you...that I care about you. I want to be with you. We’ll live together, I don’t care about what others think. I..I don’t care.” 

Suddenly she places her hands around his neck and presses her lips against his, long enough for people around to see them. After a moment of confusion, Rafael places his hands on Olivia’s wrists and pulls her away, breaking the contact and the kiss.

“We can’t. Trust me, you’re better off without me.” 

“What?” 

It comes out as a whisper, while processing those words feels more like thousands of people screaming in her head. 

Telling her that she’s been wrong the whole time. 

Telling her that she is indeed better off without him. 

But she never wanted this. 

This couldn’t have been all a fantasy. It’s not like she believed she could be the reason of him changing and make him want something good, but was it wrong to hope she could do that? 

Was it wrong to hope that she was that worth it? 

But maybe this was never worth it from the start. 

It was all a fantasy, that suddenly turned into a disappointing reality. 

He walks away, leaving her standing there in the middle of the hallway.

/ /

Davina walks in the doctors common room, finally finding Rebekah sitting at the table sipping her mocha and reading a magazine. 

“There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

“Oh, you’re getting clingy already. I knew I shouldn’t have slipped the tongue.” 

Davina chuckles and shakes her head. “No, I needed you for a consult. I paged you like five times.” 

Rebekah checks her pager and shows it to the brunette. Batteries were dead. 

“You have to remember to change batteries.” 

“You look very nice today.” The blonde says admiring the brunette, who instantly blushes. 

“Stop doing that on purpose.” 

“I can’t help it. You’re cute.” 

“All right, stop it before I vomit.” Rafael says walking out of the bathroom. 

“Someone had a rough night.”

Rafael glances at the brunette with a pointed look. “I feel like a whore.” 

“Doesn’t look like you’re enjoying it, though.” Rebekah says.

“I ended things with Olivia, because I did something - someone - bad.”

“If my niece wants to break your nose this time, I’m supporting her.” 

“Raf...what did you do?” Davina asks in apprehension.

“I slept with Maya.” 

Both girls look at each other without making any type of face, but still enough to silently agree that he was helpless. 

“Why did you? You told me you were crazy about that girl, so why ruin your chances for a night with Maya?” Davina asks.

“Because I’m the same old me, I guess. I’m just bad, Davina.” 

“Oh save the self guilt.” Rebekah steps in. “You saw something good and you ran away from it. I’m no stranger to this, so I know how it feels. From my point of view, it’s you that needs growing up, not her.” 

“And maybe a little bravery, too.” Davina adds, rather softer than Rebekah, who was far more frank. 

“It doesn’t matter now. It’s over, I ended it, so let’s just...forget about all of this.” 

He walks out of the room with his head down, feeling both ashamed and sad, wanting nothing more than drown himself into alcohol as soon as his shift ends.

/ /

Hope walks into her patient’s room where Jade already is, waiting for her to present the case. 

“Good morning Carol.” Hope says giving the woman one of her warmest smile.

The woman looks at her up and down, “Hope Mikaelson...I kind of missed you.” She says with a smirk.

Hope chuckles amused while holding the chart to her chest. “I missed you too, but don’t get me wrong, I’m not so happy to see you here again.“ 

Carol smiles softly at the neuro surgeon and then glances at Jade, who was looking between the two in confusion. 

“Hope tried to hit on me when she was a sophomore and I was a senior, and I embarrassed her in front of the whole school for looking like a ten year old.” 

“I bet you regret that now.” Hope smirks. 

“Yeah I do! Whoever got you is pretty lucky.” 

“I’ll make sure she knows that.” Hope chuckles amused. “How have you been Carol?” 

“Better. But my chart will tell ya for me.” 

Hope nods looking at Jade, hinting that she can proceed with presenting the case.

“Mrs. Crawford has a pariphalseum meningioma along the superior saginal sinus. You've operated three times, keeps on coming back.” Jade says.

“Yeah, it's in dangerous territory so we leave a little bit of the tumor behind each time and we go back every couple of years and tune it up.” Hope explains. 

“But this is the last time.”

“What?”

“This is it, Hope. I'm done after this, really.” 

Hope sighs and shakes her head. “Carol...”

“The recovery takes forever and it's not like when Jake was around. I go through this by myself now. I am going to do this, then I am going to spend the next two years of my life lying on a beach enjoying the sun.” 

Hope stays quiet for a while, then nods in understanding and slips her hands in her lab coat pockets. “All right. Then we’ll...see you in the O.R.” She smiles softly. 

Both Jade and Hope step outside, but Jade notices how Hope is unusually quiet. 

“Hope? Are you okay?” 

“Yeah. It’s just... I feel sorry for her. It’s harder when you know them.”

“Yeah, I know.” 

Jade keeps studying the auburn haired girl’s face, not liking at all what she’s looking at. 

There are rare moments when she’s seen Hope Mikaelson this sad and most of them were when she wasn’t with Josie. Since this wasn’t the case, Jade can’t help but wonder what’s really going on in her head.

“Hope? Is something wrong?” 

Hope raises her gaze, realizing that Jade must’ve been still staring at her all this time, and she’s quick to deny, shaking her head. “It’s...nothing. It’s nothing.” 

“Hey, you can talk to me.” 

Hope meets Jade’s tender gaze, showing nothing but genuine concern for her, and it’s...nice.

“I’m just feeling a little off because I’ve been trying to reach my dad and he’s still dodging my calls.” 

“He’s still mad about the whole jump in front of the gun thing?”

“That’s the thing. I don’t really know how he feels about that. I wanted to talk to him about it but he keeps avoiding the subject. And now he’s being distant.” 

“Why don’t you go visit him for the weekend? It might be the only way to do it. Just show up at his door.” 

Hope looks at Jade thoughtfully. “You think?”

“Yeah. He needs to hear from you that you’re okay, really okay.” 

“You’re right. I should...do that, yeah.”

“Does Josie know about this?”

“Yes and no... today I’ve been thinking about him more than usual. I just don’t want to worry her while she’s dealing with Lizzie and all that.” 

Jade nods in understanding. “Well, sometimes it’s better talking to a friend rather than your girlfriend. Josie would get all clingy and motherly when maybe all you need is a punch.” 

Hope frowns slightly. “You mean a _push.”_

“No, a punch.” Jade repeats.

“A punch?” 

Jade suddenly punches on her arm, causing Hope to groan in pain. 

“Ohw!” She stares at the blonde with wide eyes and an angry face, “That hurt!” 

“Tough love, baby. Get it together Mikey.” 

Hope scoffs a laugh while massaging on the hurting spot of her arm. “I got it the first time, but thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Jade smiles. 

Hope keeps massaging her arm still with a grimace of pain in her face. “Have you been boxing or something?” 

“I have. I could train you fragile little thing if you want.” 

Hope is thoughtful for a moment. “Maybe.” She says sheepishly.

“You can pay me back with drinks tonight. I really need that.”

Hope frowns. “Wait, pay you back? What happened to ‘friends’?” 

“Friends also buy each other drinks.” She points a finger at her.

“Well-“

Jade sighs and pouts at the girl. “I’m sad, Hope. Your job is to cheer me up.” 

Hope knows that. In fact, she’s surprised Jade is even here talking about Hope’s problems right now. “All right, drinks it is.” 

The blonde smiles and then walks away, leaving Hope standing there, who can’t help but feel sorry for everything that was going on with Lizzie. Neither of them deserve this, and unfortunately there’s not much Hope can do but try to be there for Jade like Josie was there for Lizzie.

She and Jade have been getting closer mostly by doing stupid things to annoy Josie and Lizzie. Sometimes in their free time they would stay at Hope’s trailer in the woods to spend time with Yogi, because apparently, Jade is really fond of him. And he seems to like Jade too. 

How could he not, Hope thinks, if the girl is crazy enough to climb trees along with him. Hope swears she can’t tell the difference between the two sometimes.

They even brought him home once, and put him in the garden. They took good care of him, of course, hoping that the neighbors wouldn’t notice a baby bear in their garden. In the meantime, they patiently waited for Josie to go out there and notice him. 

That took three days. 

When the brunette saw Yogi laying on her hammock, she freaked out and Hope and Jade could not stop laughing to her face. 

_“It’s the bear or me!”_ She kept yelling.

Only then Josie realized how Landon must have felt when Arlo first moved in with them. If he were there to witness it, he would’ve had a big laugh and most likely sided with Hope. 

There’s no need to say, Hope payed her price for that. 

Her next goal is to convince Josie into loving Yogi, even if she had to sleep in the garden to win this. 

But for now, she really needs to sort things out with her dad.

/ / 

Josie had fallen asleep next to Lizzie for big part of the afternoon, feeling almost grateful for being able to catch up with so many hours of sleep she didn’t even know she needed, although oversleeping made her feel even more tired than usual. 

When she wakes up, Lizzie is still asleep with her back turned on her. Josie thinks she hasn’t been spooning Lizzie for a long time, and remembers when they always used to sleep together back when they were younger.

She wonders when did they stop relying on each other. 

They used to be much more close, almost living as two person in one, but without realizing, they had grown up into their own person. Josie feels grateful for that, but at the same time, she can’t help but hate the fact that her own sister didn’t feel the need to ask her for help. 

Does Lizzie not need her at all? 

And if not her, not even Jade? 

There has to be more to it, a reason that led Lizzie to stop taking her meds and lie to everyone’s face, even risking her own relationship. 

While being caught in all these thoughts, Josie feels Lizzie starting to move, sign that she’s waking up. When the blonde realizes where she is, Josie finally lets go of her and gives her some space, moving on the other side of the bed. 

“Hey.” She smiles softly.

Lizzie has a hard time trying to find her voice, feeling too exhausted to put words and logic together. She turns around to lie on her other side, now facing Josie. She doesn’t say anything for five more minutes, and Josie thinks she’s probably trying to put the pieces together.

“How long have I been sleeping?” Her voice comes out hoarse and tired.

“Fifteen hours.” 

Silence falls again. Then, “I ruined everything.” 

She was aware. No amount of alcohol or mania could not erase what happened. 

“Can you just tell me why? Why...would you do that to yourself? Why didn’t you come to me if you needed help?”

Josie’s tone is calm and understanding, not in the slightest accusatory like she was in the morning. That tone would help no one. 

“I didn’t tell you... because I didn’t want you to do something stupid, but...I went to see dad like a week ago.” 

“Okay, so far I hear you did two stupid things.” Her tone still not accusatory. 

“He was drunk, Jo. And I don’t think Liv even knows that he’s drinking again.” 

Josie should’ve known better than trust her father to become worthy of their respect or affection. She should’ve known better than think she was the one at fault in all of this...

“Anyway... I tried to talk to him and he just..started to say some stuff.” She pauses, the thought of it saddens her still, “He started blaming himself for me being so...broken. That no matter how hard I try, my brain chemistry is just as fucked up as his. That... I should just stop trying, because that won’t do anything.” 

“Lizzie...”

“I know he was drunk, Jo. But it doesn’t change the fact that my own father...the only parent I have left, the one that’s supposed to love me and support me, made me feel like some cosmic mistake. Like I’m the defective twin.” 

“Lizzie, listen to me.” Josie grabs her hand. “You are not broken. You are nothing like he made you think you are and you know that. You are brilliant, caring and fun.” She smiles, “You’re not defective. You never were.”

Lizzie scoffs sadly. “No, he’s right. I mean...if I don’t take my medications, look what happens. I need meds to keep my brain chemistry on a level that says ‘you’re good to socialize and save lives today’. But to be honest, I just feel like my mind is trapped. Like it just wants to escape, far away from here, from myself, from...everything that hurts, and...” 

She starts crying silently, and Josie tries her best not to start crying too, because it’s the last thing Lizzie needed right now. Her sister breaking down along with her. Nope. 

“I just wanted to... I don’t know, stop thinking so clearly. I keep having this fear I will lose everyone I love. I keep wishing for this fear to just stop but it’s always there. And I feel like I’m not even doing my job as I should. I...I can’t even do what you do, not good enough, at least.” She sniffles, “And then dad happened and I just told myself..what’s the point? I’ve always been like this, why pretend I’m not? And I stopped taking the meds without caring about what would happen and that was so stupid.”

Josie clears her throat and holds back the tears. “Lizzie...how long have you been feeling like this?” 

“I’ve been pushing all these feelings away since, um, since the shooting, and... and Landon, dad, and Jade...” She sniffles and covers her face with a hand, sobbing. “God, Jade.”

“Lizzie, Jade is not mad. Everything will be fine, I promise.”

“I didn’t want to put her through this. I never wanted to hurt her like this...” Her voice sounds broken between the sobs.

Josie grabs he sister’s face to look at her, brushing her thumbs on her wet cheeks. “Lizzie, Jade loves you. We all love you. You’re not a burden and you could never be, for any of us. Right now you’re scared and sad, but it’s going to be okay. You trust me, right?” 

She has stopped sobbing, and nods quietly.

“Then trust me you won’t feel like this forever. We’ll take one step at a time, we’ll just focus on the present, on the good things, because there are good things...” She pauses and stares at her sister with tenderness, “And if everything starts being too much, we breathe. Like when we were younger, remember?” 

“But Jade...”

“Jade loves you, Lizzie.” Josie chuckles lightly. “I just know that despite everything, she won’t stop loving you. But right now we need to focus on you. We’re all here for you.” 

Lizzie nods in understanding and takes a deep breath, “Thank you.” 

Josie holds her sister tight in her arms, none of them speaks anymore, until Lizzie suddenly asks for Jade, decided to talk to her. So Josie calls Jade for her, telling her to come back home, and she does so. 

She walks into the room quietly, almost afraid she would bother Lizzie by making too much noise. She wouldn’t, but the fact that Jade always worries about the smallest things, reminds Lizzie how good and thoughtful she actually is, and that’s why she loves her. 

“Hey.” Even her voice comes out as a whisper. 

Lizzie simply smiles and gestures her to sit beside her. A few moments pass where Jade simply stares at her, as to make sure she was really feeling better.

“I’ll make those pancakes now, if you want.” 

Lizzie smiles and shakes her head in denial. “No, thank you, I’m not hungry. Just sleepy.” 

Jade simply nods and lowers her gaze to the bed, unsure about what to say next. 

But Lizzie is the first to speak again. 

“I don’t know how to tell you how sorry I am.” 

“Lizzie, I understand...”

“Yeah, but... I would want you to be mad at me, not make excuses for what I did.” 

“I’m not.” But she can’t be mad either. How could she? “But right now it doesn’t matter. You’re all that matters.” She places her hand on Lizzie’s.

Lizzie scoffs, almost on the edge of crying again. Of course Jade would be selfless and forgiving, and if Lizzie didn’t hate herself so much right now, maybe she would appreciate it and be glad that everything can be okay between them again, but she can’t do that. And thinking about what to say next, she pulls her hand away and meets Jade‘s soft gaze. 

“I can’t ask you to do this...”

“You’re not asking, I am doing it because I want to.”

“So you’re saying you’re not even little hurt because of what I did?” 

Jade stays quiet. It’s not like the thought hadn’t been torturing her, even though her main concern has been Lizzie. She would be lying if she said that things didn’t feel weird, different. 

Lizzie smiles sadly. “That’s what I thought.” This time, is Lizzie the one taking her hand. “I...think I need to take care of myself now. And what I did to you is part of what’s killing me the most. And if you say you don’t care or that you forgive me, just for my sake, that won’t do us -and me- any good.”

Jade lowers her gaze while a silent tear falls down the bed, she nods in understanding, because how can she not be, and then faces her again. “Don’t torture yourself because of that...please. I- I don’t want you to. And you can’t lose me, you won’t lose me.”

She doesn’t get it, Lizzie thinks.

“Jade...” Lizzie exhales deeply, looking at her with teary eyes. “I’m breaking up with you.” 

Jade scoffs a laugh between tears. “Yeah, I got that, and that’s okay.” 

“How is that okay?” 

“Because I have nowhere to go but here. You’re my home. I will always come back home.”

Letting go it’s not always as easy as it sounds, even when it’s the only option you have left. Letting go of something bad is hard, but letting go of something good might be even harder. 

So we allow ourselves to hold on to it. Just a little more, a little more, a little more...

Because after all, we all know that head and heart are never good at keeping up together.


	33. Chapter 33

_Grab somebody, come on down_

_Bring your paintbrush, we're paintin' the town_

_Honey, there's some sweetness goin' 'round_

_Catch it down in New Orleans_

Hope and Jade walk around the French Quarter, only a suitcase and a bag in their hands, while the auburn-haired girl leads her friend to the best shops in town. 

“Hope! Look how cute they are.” Jade looks through the animal’s shop window, tapping on the glass and calling at the puppies who were jumping and licking at the window.

“I know, I used to come here as a kid and I would just spend hours in the shop playing with them.” 

“How cute.” 

“Come on, I’ll show you the rest before I go to my dad’s.”

_We got magic, good and bad_

_Make you happy or make you real sad_

_Get everything you want, lose what you had_

_Down here in New Orleans_

They walk around for a while more, stopping from time to time to listen to street musicians or look at every stand that sell handmade objects and accessories, then they stop at a café to have waffles, and ultimately they arrive down Hope’s family compound.

“Can we hit the bar?” 

Hope frowns and gives the girl a judgmental look. “It’s ten in the morning, Jade, have some self control.” 

“I just broke up with my girlfriend and I still haven’t gone through the stage of alcohol and grief, you can’t expect self control from me in the next 24 hours.” 

Hope sighs. “If I knew I’d be traveling with a child, I would’ve left you at home with the nanny.”

Jade smirks and bumps her shoulder against Hope’s. “Is the nanny hot?” 

Hope gives her a dead look, then her attention is caught by someone calling at her.

“Hope?”

As she sees the blonde woman approaching them with a smile and open arms, she instantly warms up and welcomes the hug. 

“Cami! It’s so good to see you.”

“You too babygirl. What brings you here?”

“My dad, obviously.”

“Oh, right.” She chuckles. “He should be in his study, painting. I’m starting my shift in ten minutes though, so I should go.” Then she notices the blondie next to Hope, “Hi, you must be Hope’s girlfriend?” 

Jade grimaces in disgust. “Oh God, no.”

“Oh no, no no no no no, absolutely no.” Hope chuckles, _“No.”_

Jade turns to the side and stares at Hope with a frown. “Those were a lot of no.” 

Hope tries to hide a smile. “Sorry.” Then she looks at Camille again, “She’s just a friend.” 

“Hello, I’m Jade, the newly single intern.” 

Hope scoffs and rolls her eyes at Jade’s attempt to flirt, while Camille chuckles amused. 

“Nice to meet you Jade newly-single-intern, I’m Camille. I’m Hope’s father’s girlfriend. You two should come by Rousseau’s tonight, my treat.” 

“Well I don’t have really much to do so I could come by now if that’s okay.” 

Hope gives Jade one of her deathly looks. She has to admit she might be acting a little motherly, but she figures it’s just because she hasn’t hang out with a girl friend in a while, especially one like Jade, who in cases like this one needs to have a more than two eyes on her to avoid any damages. 

Jade slams her foot on the floor, no less different than a child. “You’re not my mother, Mikaelson.” 

“Fine, do whatever you want. Cami, if she starts harassing people, call me.”

“Hey!” 

Hope ignores Jade’s yelling and walks into the compound, glancing up at the balcony. 

“Dad? It’s me, Hope.”

It takes only a few seconds for Klaus to come out of this study. He’s still holding the paint palette in one hand and the brush in the other. Hope smiles softly, thinking about the nights she used to spend painting with him before she moved to Mystic Falls. If there was something she missed the most besides the city itself, it was the special moments she spent with her father since she was little. They had their own routine, their own activities together, and those never changed. 

Hope suddenly feels sorry for not being more present for her father, even if she didn’t have much control on her free time. She had none. 

She expected her father to welcome her rather coldly, instead she’s surprised to see the smile on his face as soon as his gaze lands on his precious daughter. 

“Sweetheart, come up here, you can help me finish this painting.” 

Her heart instantly feels warm. She rushes upstairs with the same excitement she used to have when she was a kid. 

//

Josie and Alyssa are walking in the hallways after their morning rounds. They know their day is about to get full, so they try to make the most of these last moments of calm before the storm.

Alyssa is busy eating her yogurt -more like devouring it- but Josie knows well that when her best friend starts eating compulsively, she’s either stressed and angry or on her period, and she doesn’t even question it. 

Suddenly Alyssa turns her attention to Josie, meaning that she’s done eating. “How is Lizzie doing?” 

“She seemed okay this morning, although she’s still sleepy and kind of numb because of medications. I left Arlo in her room to guard her.” 

“Are you thinking of going to see your father?” 

Josie feels a little taken aback by the question. “Why would I do that?” 

“Because of Lizzie.” 

“No, I would just get mad and right now my priority is my sister. He doesn’t even deserve the slightest of attention from me. I can’t believe I let Jade get into my head and almost went to talk to him.” 

“I would probably go and give him a piece of my mind.” 

Josie’s thoughts about her father were still too confusing. She doesn’t know if let it go once and for all or have a confrontation before doing so. Not because she owes it to her father (she owes him nothing), but because perhaps she owes that to herself.

She shakes the thought away and decides to not focus on her problems. 

“What about Jed?” 

Alyssa glances at Josie for a second before opening a bag of M&M’s. 

Again, she doesn’t question it.

“What about him?”

“Have you talked to him after the domino surgery?” 

“Not yet.” She says dismissively.

But Josie doesn’t mind to keep pushing, since Alyssa would definitely do the same. 

_“Yet._ So that means you are planning on doing it eventually?”

“I might.” 

“Your two words sentences won’t make me stop questioning you!” Josie yells to her face. 

“Fine! Look, I don’t know what I’m going to say to him, I just think I owe him at least this.”

“Do you love him?”

Alyssa keeps quiet and just stuffs her mouth with more and more M&M’s, waiting for something -anything- to happen or interrupt them, but by the time she swallows everything, Josie is still staring at her expectantly. 

“I only love Cardio. Cardio is the love of my life.” 

Josie scoffs a laugh and starts walking away. “Well played.” 

Alyssa takes a deep breath, trying to shake away the sudden pinch in her stomach when Josie asked her that question. 

There’s a very big line between infatuation and love for Alyssa, and she never crossed it in her entire life. To be honest, she doesn’t even know what love is, or if she ever felt it but wasn’t able to identify the feeling as such. It seems stupid, for someone who can have actual feelings while standing above an open chest. 

But Alyssa has always been about her work. It’s her passion, it gave her a reason to wake up every morning when she lived in her last foster home. Spending days and nights on med books has never been that hard for her, because it’s the only thing that always felt right. 

And it will always be her first choice, no matter what. 

So maybe she doesn’t know how it feels to love someone, like really love them, but she knows how it feels to love doing what she does for a living, and it’s enough for her. 

“Alyssa?” 

Perfect timing. 

She turns around to face Jed smiling nervously at her, and she returns a forced smile before greeting him. “Hi.” 

“Can we talk?” 

He never liked small talks and it shows. Jed is always pretty straightforward.

“Um, sure.”

“Alyssa...you shouldn’t be scared of me. You know you don’t need to, because I would never hurt you on purpose. You know that. I’m doing better, I really am.”

“Jed...”

“No, listen. We don’t have to get married just yet. We go back from before that. We were good together, right?”

She can’t lie, they were. Although, she always felt like Jed was ten steps ahead of her in their relationship, while she kept struggling always a little more. It’s odd, because when it all started she was over the moon. She looked like a teenager with her first crush. 

But then her instinct of self-preservation made her take a few steps back. Her relationship was moving forward, Jed was moving forward, but she wasn’t. Josie would say that it’s okay to take it slow (the brunette still isn’t a good example, she never is), but she can’t help but feel like she should be able to give more of herself. 

She just doesn’t know how.

“Yeah, we were. But Jed...you know that I’ll probably never be able to give myself completely to you, or anyone, really.”

“Allow me to gain your trust. I promise, this can be good. It won’t be like those relationships you’ve seen you whole life. I know that scares you, but just give me a chance to prove to you that we can be happy together.” He takes her hand in his and she glances at their hands together for a moment, a thousand doubts running through her mind. 

Perhaps she should try. Perhaps she needs it for personal growth. Perhaps she will learn to love someone else, even more than she loves Cardio. 

Perhaps.

/ /

Hope has been painting this landscape with her dad for the past hour. Their conversations consists mostly of small talks, but neither of them can bring up the actual reason why Hope was there. 

They mostly talk about Rebekah and Davina and how much Klaus misses having baby Nik around the house. It makes him want to move as well, but due to his job and his deep emotional attachment to New Orleans, he can’t. 

And then there’s Camille in the picture, who loves the city just as much as he does. They’ve been together for a long time now, long before Hayley passed away, and Hope has always been okay with that. 

Despite her parents never being together as a couple, the fact that they still raised her together and had so much affection and respect for each other, was one of the reasons why Hope has always admired both of her parents and loved them deeply. Probably not many people would do what they did for her, considering she wasn’t really planned, but they always made sure she never felt like she was a mistake or just an accident. 

Family was everything to Hope, and before now she had never thought about how much she wanted to build something just as strong as her family did. 

Never before Josie. 

It might sound odd, considering that she was married to Maya for five years and they were together for two years before that. But if things went the way they did there must be a good reason, some higher plan that Hope didn’t know about. 

But it ended up being everything she didn’t know she needed. 

This is why she needs her father on her side. Perhaps it sounds old fashioned and wrong, but she needs his approval and support. It’s not like she would decide not to be with Josie if he didn’t give that to her, but it would surely hurt Hope’s feelings. 

After being caught up in her own thoughts for a long time, Hope realized that her father was done with his side of the painting and was now glaring intently at her, who until a second before was blatantly staring at the canvas, barely moving her brush.

“All right, I believe you have something you want to discuss.” He says hinting a weak smile and cleaning up his hands. 

Hope opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out at first. She clears her throat and places her tools on the table, then faces her father, nervously intertwining her fingers together. 

“Um.” 

_Fuck, it’s not that difficult. Come on._

“I wanted to talk about what happened...when I was shot.”

His face appears to be emotionless, but Hope knows when her father tries to avoid having a confrontation with her. “I thought we already went through this.”

“Not really. I mean, you never said anything...and I don’t know how you really feel about it. You’ve been so distant lately and I believe it has something to do with that.” 

Klaus focuses his gaze elsewhere, looking outside the window, while Hope waits for him to say something. 

“You did it for her, is that right?” He asks, almost apprehensively.

“Yes, dad. I swear. I would never...ever try to hurt myself in any way. I’m in a really good place right now, better than I’ve ever been before. Why would I do that to myself?”

He sighs and turns around to finally look at her. “Still, the fact that you were so brave or rather crazy to do that...it frightens me and amazes me at the same time.” A few moments of silence fall between them before he walks closer and focuses his gaze on her. “Do you really love her that much?” 

Hope smiles softly. “Yeah I do, dad. I really do.” 

“It’s just...I’ve never seen you like this before. Not even with Maya...” He paces back and forth nervously before stopping to look at her again. “What are your intentions with this girl?”

Hope can’t help but scoff a laugh, thinking that that kind of question usually comes from the opposite side of the family. “What do you mean my intentions? I love her dad. Have I...thought about marrying her? Of course. Do I want kids with her? Yes. Because dad...I’m done, like _really_ done. She’s the one. She’s...incredible. And if you give her a chance, you would see what I see.” 

Klaus smiles and places a hand on her cheek, brushing his thumb softly. Hope melts at the touch, suddenly feeling like she’s seven all over again, although her father has always been very affectionate, even if she was a full grown up now.

Klaus can see it in her eyes, the way they sparkle and the way his daughter becomes all dreamy talking about the brunette. 

“I trust your word. And if she is half as tough as you are, I can’t think of anyone better.”

“Well, she is even tougher than me, to be honest. I can barely fight her on anything.” She chuckles. 

“Ouch, Hope, what have I taught you? Mikaelsons can’t be defeated nor being told what to do.” 

“Yeah, well...I guess my Mikaelson genes are broken.” 

Both of them burst into laughter while Klaus embraces her. She didn’t know she had missed her father so much until that moment, and luckily they had the rest of the afternoon to do something together. Hope figured Jade would be fine for another few hours alone (hopefully), so they ended up in her mother’s favorite place: the Bayou. 

/ /

“Ah, Josie, here you are.” Rebekah smiles widely at her. “Let’s go take this baby out.” 

Josie had been through three surgeries all morning, from cadio, to plastics and general. Seeing a woman give birth was certainly a first for her. Actually, it was the very first time in peds for her. 

She doesn’t really talk to Rebekah that much. She never really talked to her after the catastrophic dinner they had a while ago, and she assumed that Hope’s family might not like her very much. She still feels like it, even though Keelin seems far more friendly than the blonde pediatric surgeon. 

Rebekah is intimidating, and Josie can’t help but feel nervous around her. 

“Oh, yeah. Okay.” 

“This patient is giving me a bit of headache today.” 

They walk towards the patient’s room but stop as soon as Rebekah sees her pregnant woman walking around the corridor, breathing heavily.

“Debby, what are you doing out here?” 

“I need to get Susan, I can’t do this alone. Where is she?” She cries, then she bends in two and groans in pain. Josie instantly steps in to support her. 

“I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.” She exhales deeply and seems to calm down, but then again another contraction makes her scream in pain.

“Oh God! I’m not fine. I’m not fine. Where is Susan?!” She screams even louder, and Rebekah asks a nurse to get Debby’s wife.

“Okay, I'm just gonna check how dilated you are. All right?” Rebekah does so. In the meantime Josie asks another nurse to get the bed for the patient. “Okay, I think you’re ready. I can feel the baby’s head. We have to do it now.” Rebekah says. Meanwhile, Josie helps the woman lay down on the bed and they wheel her back in the room.

“Oh no, Susan has to be here. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not ready. I can’t do it alone.”

“You’re not alone Debby. Dr. Mikaelson and I are here for you.” Josie tries to reassure the woman, but without success.

“God no. What if I’m a terrible mother? What if I lose her in a supermarket? It happened to me, you know? My mother forgot me and came back half an hour later. She found me eating cookies in the junk food section.”

Josie smiles reassuringly. “You’re not going to forget her in a supermarket. I’m sure that when you’ll see her, everything will turn out just fine. You’re gonna love her and she’s gonna love you, because she’ll know her mom wanted her very much.” 

The woman keeps breathing erratically while Rebekah prepares the tissues and lays the sheet on Debby’s legs. 

“You think so?” 

“Do you think so?”

The woman smiles. “I already know that Susan will be so much better than me at this, yet I’m the one who wanted to carry this baby. Isn’t that stupid?” 

“It’s not stupid. You had a big part in this, but it’s okay to be scared. You can do this, together. She might not be here now but she’ll be there later, every step of the way.” 

The woman seems finally reassured by Josie’s words and nods. 

“Okay, I need you to start pushing now Debby.” Rebekah says. 

“God! No, I can’t. It’s too much.”

“You have to push Debby. Harder.”

“Debby!” 

“Oh my God, Susan! You’re here.”

“I’m so sorry there was such a long line to the cafeteria...” 

The woman runs next to Debby and instantly takes her hand. Josie decides to step back and give her some space, so that she can assist Rebekah if she needed help.

“Okay, push again Debby. Come on.”

Josie doesn’t know if she should be scared, impressed or disgusted. 

No, certainly not disgusted. Maybe for some people is, but for her it looks more like a beautiful miracle. Impressed is more appropriate, yes. 

“She’s almost here, Debby. Just one last push!” Josie tells her in excitement. 

“There she is.” 

A second later Rebekah is holding a crying baby, while Josie waits with a towel in her hands, and as soon as Rebekah places the baby in her arms, she softens almost to the point of crying herself along with the baby.

It’s no news that babies make her emotional.

She stares at the baby while she carries her to Debby, and ultimately places the little girl in her mother’s arms.  
While Rebekah steps away, the nurses take the baby to check on her vitals, and Josie follows Rebekah outside, instantly regretting it. 

What is she supposed to say? 

_Great job? Congratulations? There comes another?_

“That was amazing.” 

“The miracle of birth.” She smiles. “The first time Hope saw a woman give birth, she said ‘Like hell I’m doing that’.” 

“Really?” 

Josie’s tone seemed a little concerned, which amused Rebekah never the less. “Of course not. She pretty much had the same sparkle you have in your eyes.” 

Josie instantly looks away while her face colors read. “Oh, um.” 

“I can tell you’re a good person, Josie. I’ve never doubted that, to be honest.” 

“Then...why do I keep feeling like you don’t like me?” 

Rebekah sighs and turns her full attention to the brunette in front of her, turning soft for the first time. “I raised Hope. I was there for her since her first breath. I played with her, I read her bedtime stories and by the time she was old enough we did a tons of crazy things together. I‘m like a second mother, an aunt and a big sister all together... and seeing her doing something like that, for you...it scared me.” 

“I..I know. It scared me too.” 

“No, you don’t understand. I mean the fact that she was ready to die to save you, reminded me of feelings I once had for someone.” She smiles sadly at the memory of Hayley. “I probably would’ve done the same. To me, it made sense. I believe it does for Hope too, but you know... since I love her and all, the thought of her dying for you was no happy news, considering her past too.”

“I know, and I completely understand where you’re coming from. But believe me when I say that I myself would give my life for her before she even tries to do the same.”

“You just have to be faster than her.” Rebekah laughs. 

Josie laughs along with her. “Yeah, she’s always ten steps ahead of me. It’s hard to keep up.” 

“I know you two are meant for each other, Josie. I’m not stupid. I’m sure my brother sees that too, but he’s just as scared as me by how much she loves you.”

Josie fails to hide the smile crossing her face. 

“But...all things considered, we can never blame you responsible or hate you for what happened, Josie. That would be foolish.” 

The brunette smiles softly. “I’m glad to hear that.” 

Rebekah smiles back and then breaks the moment. “Now, go check on Mrs. Grinner and then go home. It was nice having you in peds today.” 

“Thank you. It was nice for me too.”

Josie stands there smiling at herself while Rebekah disappears around the corner, feeling like some things were finally falling into place. 

/ /

_I thought I'd found the girl of my dreams_

_Now it seems, this is how the story ends_

_She’s going to turn me down and say_

_Can't we be friends_

When Hope walks into Rousseau’s, her eyes instantly fall on Camille behind the counter, a bottle in her hands and a line of ten small shots glasses in front of her. She fills them so quickly and so easily, Hope almost wishes she could manage the bottles as good as she can manage scalpels. 

“Cami, hey.”

She places her hands on the counter and sits, then takes one of the glasses, drinking it all at once and releasing a sigh of pleasure. Camille stares at her in amusement.

“Did your dad go hard on you?” 

“No, actually. He was very understanding.” She smiles.

“I might have played a small part in that, too.” She smirks.

Hope frowns. “Really?” 

Camille stops to face the girl directly. “Hope, you’ve been my step-daughter but also my patient for as long as I can remember. I didn’t even need you to tell me the reason why you did it. You have the biggest heart Hope, and you’d do anything for those you love.” 

Hope smiles softly and takes Camille’s hand in hers, squeezing it gently. “Thank you for everything.” 

“You don’t need to thank me. You know I’m always here for you.” 

Hope gives her one last smile and then looks around the bar for her blonde friend. 

“Did Jade give you a hard time?” Hope asks.

“Not really. We went for a walk during my break so I showed her around a bit. She’s a great girl, we talked a lot. I gave her a few advices, you know me.”

Hope chuckles. “Yeah, your advices can shape and change the soul.” 

“Oh, stop it.” Camille brushes off with a hand and then hints to the side of the bar with her head. “But now she seems a little moody.” 

Hope turns around to see Jade sitting alone at the table. She would’ve expected to see her trying to hit on someone, but maybe she wasn’t at that stage of the breakup yet. 

“How much did she have to drink?”

“She can still talk like a normal person if that helps.” 

“Yeah well, maybe that’ll do.”

Hope gets up and walks to Jade’s table and sits right in front of her, but the blonde doesn’t raise her gaze from the glass. Instead, she takes another long sip and then sighs sadly. 

_Yes, I thought I knew the wheat from the chaff_

_What a laugh, this is how our story ends_

_I'll let her turn me down and say_

_Can't we be friends?_

“So, have you reached the drunk and in denial stage of breakup?” 

“Yeah. It sucks.” 

_I acted like a kid out of school_

_What a fool, now I see this is the end_

Hope looks at her with sympathy and places her hand on Jade’s. “I know it’s hard, but eventually it’ll pass.”

“You know when you think that... that maybe you’re done? That this is it. That that’s the one person you want for the rest of your life, the only one you can possibly see be your side. And then... then you’re left with nothing.”

“Yeah, I know.” Hope smiles, remembering what she just told her dad, “But that’s not true, Jade. Lizzie might change her mind, maybe once she gets better she’ll want to give it another try.” 

“What if she doesn’t want to? Or what if I can’t do it?”

Hope has never seen Jade this sad. It almost pains her too, thinking about when she was miserable without Josie back in the days. She knows it sucks, especially if Jade feels about Lizzie as Hope feels about Josie.

“Listen...I almost lost hope for me and Josie too, but then you know what happened. All fell into place, just how it was supposed to be.”

“I don’t believe in those meant to be shit speeches, so don’t try to use that on me, Mikaelson.”

Hope rolls her eyes and sighs heavily. “You really make it hard for people who are trying to comfort you, you know that?” 

“I just don’t know how to move on, but I know she wants me to. At least I think so.”

“You don’t know how, but you also don’t want to.” 

“Of course I don’t.” She bursts out. “She’s the first person I ever really cared about. The first person I’ve ever loved and who was there for me when my birth parents showed up and I had no idea how to deal with it. She was always there. Why did she have to do all of that? She... she made me love her. She...made me fall for her and even the most messed up parts of her and now I’m left with all that stupid and lousy unconditional love. I don’t fucking want it.” 

She finally stops rambling and rests her mouth in a sad pout, trying not to cry. Hope sits there in silence, letting her vent as much as she needed. 

“And now the thought of going back home and... living under the same roof as just friends? How can we be just friends?” 

“Maybe give yourself some time. Take some distance. She’ll understand why you’re doing it.” 

“How? I should what...move out?” 

“Well...maybe? At least for now, if you need some space to process everything. You could stay in my trailer if you want.”

Jade stares at Hope with small eyes. She really needs to sleep. “You want to send me into the woods?” 

Hope raises her hands in defense. “Hey, I offered you a solution. Take it or leave it.”

Jade seems to think about it for a minute, her gaze still focused on her drink half empty. She takes one last sip all at once and then looks back at Hope, relaxing her back against the chair.

“Okay, I’ll stay there.”

Hope nods and smiles softly, instantly taking out the keys of the trailer and throwing them to Jade. “All yours.”

“Are you sure you won’t need it anymore? Josie could still take that job in Belgium you know.” 

Hope gives her a dead look and then forces a fake smile. _“Ha ha._ Don’t push your luck, Montgomery. Or you can keep sleeping under your ex girlfriend’s roof for all I care.” 

“You’re heartless.” 

“And you’re annoying.”

Jade scoffs and then stares intently at the auburn-haired girl, who only stares back at her blankly. Hope thinks she sees the girl soften for a moment.

“You do care.” 

“No, I don’t.” Hope crosses her arms on her chest.

“Yes, you do. See this thing...” Jade points between them, “between us, it’s something we can use at our advantage, you know.”

Hope shakes her head and chuckles amused. She just thinks her friend is delirious at this point. “For what?”

“I will always take your side against Josie.” She whispers, then she gets closer to Hope’s face. “And given how much you’re used to losing against your girl, you could really use a hand.” 

Hope is definitely interested. And so amused. 

“You’re right. I could use an ally.”

“Exactly!” She raises her finger at Hope as a professor would, her pupils dilated like crazy. “And you can get me the best surgeries!”

“See?! I knew where this was going. You’re just trying to bribe me. Not to mention, Josie will feel betrayed.”

“Oh screw Josie. I want you, Mikaelson.” She teases Hope running her fingers through auburn strands of hair.

Hope can’t help but burst into laughter, then she gets up and takes both her coat and Jade’s. “I think that’s enough talking for you tonight. Come on, let’s go have some sleep.” 

Jane groans like a child and then stands up, stammering for a moment. “Fine.“ She starts walking towards the door, but stops in her tracks before walking out, turning around to look at Hope. “By the way, thank you. For today and...for putting up with me. I like you and... you’re a good friend.” 

Hope softens for a moment and then helps Jade putting on her jacket. “I like you too, all things considered.”

“Yeah, yeah.” 

They walk out of the bar and go back to the compound. By the time Hope tells Jade where she can find everything she needs, the girl is already collapsed on her bed. 

Hope figures it’s a good time to call Josie, since she hasn’t heard from her all day. It doesn’t take long for the brunette to answer her call.

“I was just about to call you!” Josie says rather cheerful. Her voice instantly brings a smile on Hope’s face.

“Oh yeah? How was your day?”

“Full, like really full. I worked with Rebekah today.” 

Hope eventually collapses on the bed too, her gaze focused on the dark ceiling. “Really? How did that go?” 

“It was good. We talked and we’re good. She actually likes me.” 

Hope can almost see Josie smile through the phone. “Of course she likes you, who wouldn’t?” 

“Yeah well _Princess,_ I’m not you. People tend not to like me very much.” 

“If a princess like me likes you, then others can too.” She teases her, already knowing  
what was about to come.

“So that would make me what?! Your _Shrek?!”_ She yells, forcing Hope to move the phone away from her ear.

“Could you not scream to my hear? I just put the baby to sleep.” 

Josie frowns. “What baby?” 

“Jade. She...had a rough day.” 

“Oh God, I’m so sorry you had to deal with her.”

“No it’s okay actually, it was nice. We bonded.” 

“That’s good baby. Oh, about babies... I assisted my first birth today. It was so beautiful, Hope. It just made my day ten times better.”

Hope smiles softly. “Then you should work in peds.” 

“Oh no, that would be too much. Seeing sick kids all the time would throw me off the edge. I’ll stick to general surgery for now.” 

Hope yawns loudly and closes her eyes, still holding the phone to her ear. “Okay.” She whispers.

“How did it go with your dad today?” 

Josie’s voice was slowly fading away, although Hope was trying hard to keep herself awake. “Oh good, good. He...he likes you. We’re all good.” She mumbles.

Josie chuckles, knowing that Hope was probably tired but she was still trying to keep her there. She likes being the most annoying one of the relationship, so what? 

“So we can get married now.” 

“Mh-hm.” 

“Hope?” 

Nothing. 

_Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you_

_Sweet dreams that leave all worries far behind you_

“Hope?” 

_But in your dreams whatever they be_

_Dream a little dream of me_

Josie smiles to herself and then decides to hung up the call, also knowing when to stop being annoying. 

It didn’t take long for her to fall alseep as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs playing during the chapter were:
> 
> • Down in New Orleans by Dr. John (also used in the Princess and the Frog)
> 
> • Can’t we be friends by Ella Fitzgerald and Luis Armstrong 
> 
> • Dream a little bit of me by Ella Fitzgerald and and Luis Armstrong 
> 
> Just to set the New Orleans mood. :) 
> 
> I hope you liked the chapter. Let me know what you guys think <3


	34. Chapter 34

“A massive train wreck occurred just outside of Mystic Falls just minutes ago. The train was carrying about 300 passengers. It is believed many severely injured.”

Jade, Josie and Alyssa are sitting at the Mystic Grill when suddenly all of their pagers beep. 

“911.” Alyssa says looking at her pager.

Jade groans and drops her head on the counter. “We just ended a 30 hours shift!” 

In the meantime, both Josie and Alyssa are already up and ready to go.

“I need to sleep.” Jade cries.

“Stop whining. Come on.” Josie throws Jade’s jack on her head and starts walking towards the door.

In general... people can be categorized in one or two ways. Those who love surprises, and those who don't. 

There is no surgeon that enjoys a surprise, because as surgeons, they like to be in the know. They have to be in the know. Because when they aren't, people die and lawsuits happen.

“I think I saw a pneumothorax. I hope I get a pneumothorax.” Alyssa says to Jade, both of them waiting at the back entrance of the hospital for the ambulances to come.

“Whatever is faster is good to me.”

Alyssa studies Jade for a moment. It’s no secret that the girl has been moody and sad since the breakup, but Alyssa being Alyssa and almost never showing people that she actually cares, avoids making questions. Maybe because it’s what she would want people to do with her: just don’t ask. 

But Jade is not her. They might be similar in some ways, but Jade is way more needy of affection and more importantly, she needs people who care, or else she would let herself sink into a ditch somewhere and never see the light again. 

Jade’s words, not hers. 

“Are you okay?” 

Jade barely looks at her, trying to avoid Alyssa’s gaze. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She brushes off while putting on her gloves. 

“You know...she’s been asking about you. She says you’re not answering her calls or texts.”

Just when she tries not to think about her, something or someone is there to remind her. Jade knows what she was doing, and she hates it, but everything it’s just harder than she thought it would be.

“We have a 911 coming, now it’s not the time Alyssa.”

“You didn’t care about 911 a few moments ago.” 

Jade keeps quiet and pretends to be focused on the driveway of the hospital, but Alyssa knows that the ambulances are not even close yet.

“Jade, it’s been weeks and you still haven’t come home after you moved out.”

“I can’t see her yet, okay?” She bursts out. Alyssa just stares at her and sighs softly. “Fine. I just think you should at least ask how she’s doing.”

Jade doesn’t answer, instead she starts asking herself if avoiding Lizzie is doing her any good. She’s been moody, cranky and on edge since their breakup and until now thinking of even having a one night stand just makes her sick to her stomach.

It’s still too soon. 

But at the same time, she never wanted to disappear from Lizzie’s life. She can’t. There’s too much history, and after all Lizzie and Josie have been her family until now. You can’t simply walk away from family. 

It’s not like she doesn’t know that. Jade is not so stupid and proud to keep denying when something is wrong or when she is in the wrong. She knows what’s the right thing to do. 

She just needs a moment to think. And breathe.

Suddenly the sound of three, maybe four ambulances coming their way catch their attention, and before they can turn around the corner, Josie, Bennett and other attendings rush outside to take in the incoming patients.

“I've got a 3rd trimester burn victim here, I'm gonna need some help.” Maya says, suddenly catching Josie’s attention from behind her. 

“Maya? What are you doing here?” She frowns in confusion.

“Oh, Parker. Good to see you again.” She smiles politely.

“Maya, take Saltzman with you. Josie, come with me.” Bennett says.

“I found the leg! I found the leg!” A paramedic keeps shouting and rushing into the trauma center to reach the doctors wheeling the legless man. 

Alyssa gasps in amazement. “A severed leg?” She runs to Bennett, ready to ask her in on the case.

“He's lost a lot of blood at the scene. Pressure dressings applied. Two large boar IVs started.” The paramedic says. 

“Anything for the pain?” Bennett asks.

“Base ordered morphine. 5 mgs given so far.” 

“Okay, Chang, you’re on.” Bennett says.

“Yes!” 

The point is this: whoever said what you don't know can't hurt you was a complete and total moron. Because for most people, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world. 

Josie enters trauma room and as she walks in followed by Jade, both girls stop on the doorstep, their eyes widened in shock at the sight of two people with a pole passing right through them. 

“What the...” Jade mutters.

“His BP is looking steady at 90 over pal. She's had 2 hypotensive episodes to the low seventies.” The paramedic says.

“You couldn't get a saw in there?” Keelin asks.

“Not without moving them.”

“Which would have been a very bad idea.” Bennett adds.

The woman impaled by the pole sitting on the table looks curiously at Josie and Jade. 

“Isn’t this the craziest thing you’ve ever seen?” 

The girl even smiles. She seems...completely fine, as if she doesn’t have a pole passing through her. 

“Um...”

“I thought my mother’s pregnancy story was but...now I have to reconsider.” Jade says, her eyes fixed on the pole covered in blood. 

“They're never gonna fit into CT. We're gonna be flying blind. Get x-rays and labs and page me the minute you're done.” Keelin tells Bonnie. 

“Excuse me? Doctors?” The girl tries to turn her head to look at them, but Keelin quickly moves in front of her and gives her a reassuring smile.

“Hi Beatrice, I'm Dr. Malraux. You shouldn't turn your head. You want to try and move as little as possible.” 

“Oh okay...so are you gonna pull this pole out of us anytime soon?” She asks.

“It’s just a little uncomfortable.” The boy says.

“I'm sorry, but we can't until we get a better look on what's going on internally. But I assure you we will work as quickly as possible.” 

“Well, in that case, does anybody have an iPad so I can finish watching Friends?” 

The boy in front of her scoffs a laugh, which brings him a bit of pain, suddenly feeling the metal move inside of him. “You sure know what your priorities are, Bea.”

The girl smiles. “And what are your priorities now, Sam?” 

“Breathing, maybe?”

This time she laughs, then stops because of the pain. “Ouch.” 

“Okay, Montgomery, Parker, move them extremely carefully.” Bennett says.

They slowly start wheeling the two through the hallways.

“Is there anyone you want me to call?” Josie asks. 

“They already called my girlfriend, she’s coming here all the way from Vancouver.” Beatrice says. 

“And my girlfriend is on her way too, probably with my mother rambling about how much train companies suck, which is true by the way. But my mother can be a lot sometimes.” Sam says.

“Poor Rachel, in comparison, we’re doing great Sam.” Bea jokes.

“Yeah we are. Oh, foreheads high five!” Both of them lean their heads closer, pressing gently their foreheads together.

Josie smiles at how dorky they look together. “I thought you two were a couple.”

“We go to college together actually. We’re roommates.” 

“And best friends.” Sam adds.

“He only says that when his girlfriend is not around.” She whispers.

They arrive outside the CT room and an intern with his patient waiting to go in looks at the two on the bed with wide eyes. “Oh, um...you guys can go ahead.” 

“Damn, look at the privileges we get!” 

Both Jade and Josie look at each other scoffing a laugh, then they wheel the bed into the room. 

//

In the Maternity room Liv is treating the burned pregnant woman with Maya, who is looking at the machine for contractions. 

Liv is treating the burns but keeps staring at Maya, wondering why she’s even there in the first place, in Mystic Falls. Last time she checked, she had left for a place in California.

Liv even tried to switch her place with Sebastian, but that guy is some piece of an ass, and she remained stuck with Maya. 

“Dr. Saltzman, do you need something?” 

_Fuck._

_Has she been staring at her the whole time?_

“Um, no.” She goes back to treating the burns. 

“Ow!” 

Liv stops and looks at her patient. “Oh, I'm sorry.” 

“No it’s not...Ow! Oh. Ow.” She glances at Maya. “Did... was that a contraction?” 

Maya looks at the print out. “It was definitely a contraction. We need to book an OR.” Liv nods and heads off.

“Look you are in no shape to push and the baby is still in some distress. You're going to have to proceed with a C-section.”

“Okay...okay.” The woman takes a deep breath. 

Meanwhile Maya gets up a little too fast and places a hand on the bed to still herself.

“Are you okay doctor?” 

Maya smiles softly and nods in reassurance. “Yeah, I’m okay, just a little morning sickness.” 

//

Jade and Josie sit in the tunnels for their break, both of them unusually quiet. 

Jade is not the kind of person who gets easily paranoid, but when it comes to people she cares about, she might start questioning her life choices and herself.

She and Josie haven’t really talked since Jade came back from New Orleans and Josie asked her for a favor, which she was happy to help with. 

She doesn’t know what happened since then. Is Josie mad at her? Does she think...? 

Wait. 

“Okay, why aren’t you talking to me?” 

Josie turns to her side and gives the blonde a confused look, while she keeps chewing slowly her food. 

“I’m eating.”

“Huh, no. You’ve been distant lately, you barely look at me. Did I do something?”

She might sound like a clingy girlfriend right now, but she doesn’t care. It’s Josie, for God’s sake.

“You didn’t do anything, Jade.” Josie sighs and moves her gaze on her food again.

“Is this because I spend too much time with Hope? Did she tell you I told her I liked her?! I meant as a friend! If you’re mad at me because of that you could’ve just told me. You know I would never-“

Josie shakes her head and laughs. “Jade, I’m more than okay with you and Hope.” 

Jade sighs deeply and goes quiet for a moment. She pouts, and Josie just keeps staring at her until Jade looks at the brunette again. “Then what is it?” 

Josie puts down to the side her fork and plate and faces her friend. “You’re ghosting her.”

“I’m not ghosting her, Josie.“ She tells her rather harshly. “Look, I know she’s going through something and I really want to be there for her, but she’s not the only one who’s having a hard time with this.”

Josie nods in understanding and lowers her gaze to the bed. “You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s just...”

“I know.” She whispers. “I miss her too, but I’ve been trying to...adjust to this.”

“I get that, yeah.”

“But I miss you too, Jo.” 

Josie gives her a sad smile and then puts an arm around Jade’s back, bringing her close into a hug. Jade instantly melts into it and squeezes her eyes close, smiling happily into the hug. “I love you.” Josie says.

“Oh, there she is, trying to steal the only ally I have.” 

The girls break the hug and look in the direction of the door, seeing Hope walking towards them. 

“Hi babe!” Josie smiles widely and opens her arms to welcome her girlfriend. 

“Don’t babe me.” She leans in to kiss Josie sweetly and then sits between the two girls. 

“What are you doing here, intruder?” Jade asks her.

“I was wondering how it feels to sit here. Now I know it feels like being a loser.” 

Both girls punch on her shoulders at the same time, causing her to shout in pain. “Ouch!?” 

“You’re the loser.” Jade says.

“Fuck you.” 

“Watch your tongue babe.” Josie warns her.

Hope gets closer and stares at her in a challenging way. “Why don’t you take a close look at it?” 

“Ugh. Please don’t.” Jade pleads. 

In that same moment Liv joins them, looking rather agitated and panting heavily. “I’m going to tell Rafael how I really feel.”

“What made you find the courage to do it?” Josie asks curiously.

“Maya is here.” Hope says.

“No. No. It’s not...because of her. I just saw those two guys impaled and we don’t know if they’re gonna survive and I realized...I don’t want to waste my time being proud or mad at him for nothing and maybe find myself impaled and close to death tomorrow. I want to be brave and...and I want to tell him the truth. I want to be with him.” 

“Liv...” 

“No! I’m not asking for advice. I’m doing it. I am. I’ll do it now.” Suddenly her pager beeps and catches her attention, then she looks at the three girls again. “Well, maybe later. My patient is in labor.” She rushes away without giving the girls the chance to say something to her. 

They only keep looking at each other before Jade breaks the silence. “Who’s gonna tell her that those two are just friends?” 

//

Dr. Bennett, Dr. Malraux, Jade, Josie and Hope are looking at the x-rays of the two impaled patients in the observation room, trying to elaborate a plan to save them both.

“Is it going straight through her spine?” Jade asks. 

“It is. T8's completely crushed.” Bennett says.

“Pole is hitting the aorta.” Keelin states.  
And look at him. It's right in line with his inferior vena cava.” She exhales heavily.

“Is there any way to operate without separating them?” Josie asks.

Hope shakes her head. 

“But if we move the poll...” Jade starts.

“They'll both bleed out.” Bennett finishes.

“What if we don't move the poll? What if we move one of the patients off the poll to get the saw in there? Then we can hold the pole steady in the other one. Move it very slowly and repair the damage as we go.” Keelin suggests.

“Okay but who do we move?” Jade asks.

“With her aortic injuries, her chances of survival are extremely slim no matter what we do. But if we move her, we have a real shot of saving him.” Keelin says.

“Well I could argue that since her injuries are so extensive we should move him. Give her the best shot we can.” Hope says.

“And you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t argue back.” Keelin says smiling at her niece, who smiles back at her.

“So basically whoever you move doesn't stand a chance?” Josie asks. They all glance at her unsettled. “So how do you choose? How do you decide who gets to live?”

“I'd like to examine them before I weigh in.” Hope says. 

“All right. But we have to make this call soon.” Bennett says. 

They all walk out of the room, and Josie suddenly stops in her tracks as she sees Alyssa running in the corridor holding...a leg.

“Alyssa?! What are you doing?”

Alyssa stops in front of the brunette, trying to catch her breath. 

“My patient. He...he has two left legs. This is the wrong leg! How...many people...lost their legs?!” She shouts out of air.

Josie tries hard not to laugh, “Ask Ben the paramedic, he should know.” 

Alyssa nods and runs away again, disappearing around the next corner. 

//

“Can you feel that Miss Krasnoff?”

“Hmm, yes.” 

Hope keeps touching the girl where her nerves are supposed to react.

“Ok. Do you feel that now?” 

“I guess that's a no.”

Josie enters the room with the tests results. “Excuse me, Dr. Mikaelson? I got the labs.” 

“Oh great. Thank you.” 

Hope takes the labs from Josie and goes through them. 

“Could you try to wiggle your toes Mr. Maynard?” 

Sam wiggles his toes and they move. “Good, they’re moving.” Hope tells him with a reassuring smile. Sam half chuckles happy. 

“What about me? Are mine moving?” Beatrice asks. And Hope moves to have a closer look. She notices that they’re not moving, and Hope instantly shares a serious look with Josie. “Yes, they are.” She lies.

“Oh good. You know, cute doctors get to call me by my name. You can call me Beatrice.” The girl says smirking at Hope, who chuckles softly. 

“Well...Beatrice, you can call me Dr. Parker’s girlfriend.” Hope tells her glaring at Josie, who was smiling amused from the back of the room. 

“Oh fuck, sorry.” She chuckles nervously.

“I’m just messing with you, she’s harmless. Most of the times. I’m Hope, by the way.” She smiles.

“It’s okay, a lot of patients do that. I’m just lucky she only has eyes for me.” Josie says. 

One thing Josie had realized was that she and Hope don’t know how to look at each other without smiling or laughing at each other’s faces, even when it is unrequited. 

It’s so weird and so like them. Josie still can’t explain to herself how they’re able to be so comfortable and happy around each other, and even when they fight, it’s just about stupid things. Eventually, Hope is the first one to drop the argument and tries anything to fix Josie’s frustration. 

Sometimes they would start dancing in the middle of the living room, sometimes they would just spend hours kissing and mocking each other about the things they said while fighting. 

Hope gives Josie one last smile before Keelin and Bennett walk into the room and call the neurosurgeon outside. 

“Where are we?”

“You were right. Her vitals are erratic. Pulse is weak. Spine severed. I was hoping it didn't hit from that angle. It just can't miss the aorta.” Hope says.

“What about him? Think he can live?”

Hope nods. “He's got better odds.”

“Alright.” Bennett says, then she looks at Josie, “Let OR 1 know we're coming.” 

//

Alyssa has been searching for her patient’s leg for an hour, asking every paramedic who came in and was on the scene of the accident, but no one seemed to know anything.

_How do you miss a fucking leg?_

Or better.

_How can there be so many severed legs?_

It’s been twenty minutes since Dr. Claire send her to look for the leg for the third time. The second time, it was a woman’s leg. And yes, maybe she would have been able to know it was the wrong leg if she had been in the OR long enough to see that her patient was a man. 

While she’s on the phone at the nurses desk, Jed approaches her. “Alyssa. You paged me?”

“If I don't find this leg, the chief is gonna cut me from this program. And I cannot go back home, Jed. I even doubt my foster parents are sober enough to remember they had me!” 

“Okay. And you paged me because...?” 

He really is that oblivious. 

Alyssa gets even more upset and raises her voice. “I need you to help me find the leg! I checked the board. You're not in surgery right? You're my boyfriend. I mean... I know I’m all about female power and I hate asking you for help but aren't boyfriends supposed to help in situations like this?“

Jed chuckles in amusement. “Fine, no need to play the boyfriend card. I’ll help you.” 

Alyssa exhales, finally calming down for a moment. “Thank God, I love you.”  
She starts walking ahead of him, while Jed suddenly stops in his tracks a little late to process what she just said. Truth is, Alyssa realizes what she said as soon as the words leave her mouth, this way confusing both of them. 

“What?” 

“What?” 

_Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it._

_Fuck._

She didn’t mean to say it like that. 

“You said...”

“Oh my God! Another leg!” She rushes past him and literally jumps on the paramedic carrying another severed leg inside the hospital. Jed observes the scene still staring blankly at Alyssa, his mind elsewhere. “It’s the right one! This is the one!” She yells loud enough to make the entire room hear her. 

She turns to Jed once again, holding the leg almost like a trophy. “Found it! I’ll see you later, okay? Or maybe tomorrow, I don’t know. This could take a while. Bye!” 

She runs off before he has the chance to think of something to say. He stands there for five seconds more, then he shakes his head in confusion and goes back to work.

//

“Beatrice...in order to operate on Mr. Maynard, we have to separate you two. In order to do that, we have to move you backwards off the pole.” Hope explains.

“Can't you just pull the pole out of both of us?” Sam asks, and Hope sadly shakes her head as no. 

“Well if we did that, you would both start bleeding very quickly. Too quickly. Right now the pole is plugging the wounds. Once removed, the organs will shift and there's a great deal of damage.” Keelin adds.

Beatrice tries not to cry, but it’s clear in her broken voice that she’s about to. “So if you move me, I'll die?” 

The room goes quiet, and Hope hates not being able to say something other than fake and forced reassurance phrases every doctor uses. 

“We're gonna do everything we can to...”

“No. No. If anyone has to go it should be me. You just move me-“

But Keelin is quick to cut Sam off. “No. Mr. Maynard... your injuries are less extensive. If we pull the pole from you as we operate around it, we have a better chance at repairing the damage.” 

Beatrice is crying silently now, and Hope takes her hand with no one noticing, and rubs it soothingly. 

“It's not right. It's not fair.” Sam starts crying too. 

“Shh Sam. It's not fair either way...” Beatrice says forcing a smile. 

“No. You’re my best friend, I don’t want a life without my best friend.” He cries. 

Beatrice presses her forehead against his while both of them sob quietly. 

Bennett is the one who breaks the moment, despite being sincerely touched. She still knows her priorities. “I’m sorry...but I just want you to know that the longer we wait, the longer we do the higher the risk of infection for the...”

“No, no. We should do it now. Our partners...they wouldn't understand. I've had a couple of hours to, you know, process all of this. But if, if my girlfriend had to see me...talk to me like this...well, I just think it would be too hard.” Beatrice says.

“We understand.” Hope says with a reassuring smile. “I can help you write a note for her if you want to.” 

Beatrice smiles between tears. “I would love that, Hope. Thank you.”

//

Rafael walks out of the OR after his fifth surgery of the day. The last time he saw the sunlight was 7am. Right now, it’s dark, and he’s quite exhausted. He is rather surprised when Maya approaches him in the hallway, since the last time he was with the girl, they had agreed that it was just one time thing and that it was never happening again. They are still on good terms, of course, but he can still remember Liv’s voicemail of that night. 

The thought still makes him feel guilty. 

“Raf, hey. We need to talk.” 

“Umm, okay?” He waits patiently for her to talk, since he has no idea what they can possibly have to say to each other now.

Maya takes a deep breath, then looks at him firmly in the eyes. “I’m pregnant.” 

Rafael’s first reaction is irrational, so he starts laughing at her, taking it as a joke. It must be a joke, right? 

But Maya’s expression doesn’t flinch. She looks dead serious, waiting for him to stop  
and realize that she’s not playing him. Ten seconds later, he finally does.

“Oh my God. I...I don’t know what to say.” 

Maya scoffs. “You don’t? How about...’it’s okay, we can do this together’ or something.”

“Together as in..together?” 

Rafael knows he might sound like a dick, that he seems like a seventeen year old who just got her girlfriend pregnant. 

“Raf, I don’t know what this means for us, but it’s still our baby, your baby, so I figured that you should know.” 

Rafael honestly feels like he’s spiraling for a moment. The worst thing is that his mind was far from what Maya needed to know or hear, because he could only think about Liv and how this was going to affect whatever they didn’t have. 

How can their being nothing affect him so much? 

“Okay, um, fine. I mean, of course I’ll be there for you and the baby. It’s just...” He exhales deeply, “a lot to process.” 

“Yeah, tell me about it.” She finally relaxes for a moment and smiles softly. “Well, at least it’s with you. I don’t think I could do this with someone else.” 

He nods in understanding and keeps his gaze fixed on her belly, even though nothing was visible yet. Suddenly he starts playing moments of him and his child in his head, trying to picture himself as a dad. 

It sounds absurd. 

“Do you want to and grab a bite now? I’m starving. Also, we could talk about this.” She says. 

“Um, yeah, sure. Let’s go.” 

They vanish in a blink of an eye, while Liv keeps looking for him around the hospital, until she eventually gives up and goes back home, still decided to talk to him the next day.

//

Beatrice and Sam are being prepped for their surgery. The room and the gallery are unusually filled with doctors, but the gallery was closed, since it didn’t feel right to treat this as a show. 

Before the anesthesiologist can put them both to sleep, Beatrice looks at Sam with teary eyes. 

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, anything.”

“Did you have a crush on me during freshman year?” 

Sam starts chuckling between tears, thinking that this is so Beatrice to do at one step away from death. 

“Yeah, I did.”

Beatrice smiles softly and then leans closer, bringing their lips together in a chaste but sweet kiss. When she breaks the kiss, he’s staring at her with a sad smile. “I’m sorry you were never my type.” 

They both burst into laughter. Then Hope steps between the two, talking to Beatrice. “This is Dr. Adams, our anesthesiologist. When you're ready, he's gonna put you to sleep.”

“So it's not gonna hurt?” 

Hope smiles reassuringly. “Not even a little bit.” 

“Good. That's good. And, um, Hope?” 

“Yes?”

“Don’t forget the letter, please?” 

Hope takes her hand in hers and smiles again. “I won’t, I promise.” 

//

Josie finally takes off her scrub clothes and dresses to leave. While she finishes putting on her clothes, Alyssa walks into the locker room looking exhausted. She abandons herself on the bench and moans loudly, causing Josie to smile. 

“Did you find the leg?”

“Oh, yeah. My patient has now both of his legs. I can’t feel mine though. How did it go with the pole guys?”

Josie saddens again thinking about it. “The girl didn’t make it, but we saved him.” 

“It sucks a little.” 

“Yeah.”

A moment of silence passes.

“I told Jed that I love him.”

“You what?!” Josie looks at her with eyes with open in shock.

“I mean, he was just offering to help and I said ‘I love you’ which I actually meant as a _thank you_ , but I guess for people it means what it means and doesn’t mean thank you like it does for me.” She rambles.

Josie scoffs a laugh. “Well, you got screwed by your own dictionary.” 

Alyssa groans in frustration and rubs her eyes. Meanwhile Josie is all packed and ready to go. “Hey, I really need to go now, but can I ask you something?” 

“Yeah, what is it?”

“If we were impaled together and only one of us could be saved, would you want to save me?”

“What kind of question is that?!” Her voice squeals. “Of course I would want you to live, I love you, dumbass.” 

Josie chuckles while Alyssa freezes and then rolls her eyes. “Oh fuck.” 

“It was not a thank you!” Josie hums loudly while walking out of the room.

“I swear it was, okay?!” She shouts back. 

Then she rests her head on the bench again, sighing tiredly. 

“It was a thank you.” She tells to herself. “It was a thank you.” She repeats again, changing her tone. “Yes, it was a thank you.”

//

Hope is driving home with Jade, who decided to finally visit Lizzie after two weeks. Her decision, of course, didn’t come without her being nervous and rambling about what they will even have to talk about now that they’re broken up. 

Hope lets her ramble for most of ride, trying to reassure her and give her a piece of advice whenever Jade lets her, but one thing she’s learned from her newly established friendship with the girl is that if Hope tries to give her a logical explanation to everything, Jade will only ignore it and keep spiraling in her irrational thoughts. 

“Maybe you’re still in time to just take me home.” Jade says.

“Stop acting like a coward because you are not one, Montgomery.” Hope says firmly.

“Don’t talk to me like my boss when we’re not at work.” She says in a warning tone. 

“I will if it helps to put some sense in that primal brain of yours.”

Jade makes a childish face and then exhales deeply, realizing that Hope was entering the driveway of the house. Hope turns off the engine and observes Jade, who’s looking at the house as if it was haunted. 

“Whenever you’re ready.” 

Jade turns to look at her like a scared child who’s afraid to go on the rides by herself. “You’re not coming?” 

“I would but Josie is waiting for me at the Mill, I don’t know why.” 

“Oh right. Okay. I’ll just...” She sighs again, then swallows hard and rests her back against the seat, turning her head to the auburn haired girl. “For what it’s worth, if you and I were to ever be impaled together, I would want you to live. And not because I have suicidal thoughts, which I don’t, by the way.”

Hope softens at the sudden confession and smiles at the girl next to her. “Why are you saying this now? You’re not gonna die by simply talking to her, Jade.” 

“No, it’s not that. I mean, lately you’ve been the only one putting up with my mess and you never for a moment got tired of me or judged me for anything. And well...it means a lot.” 

Hope smiles and gives Jade a friendly push with her fist. “Anytime, Momo.” 

Jade scoffs a laugh and rolls her eyes. “Please stop calling me that?” 

“If you get out of the car, maybe.” 

Jade takes one last breath and then unties her belt. “Fine, okay.” She finally gets out and walks through the driveway. It takes her a few more seconds to ring the bell, but she does, then she hears Hope starting the car again and leaving. 

When the door opens, Jade can feel her heart crush right down to her feet and her lungs stop working; and suddenly two weeks of no seeing Lizzie were gone to dust. 

How could she ever get over the girl?

Lizzie stares at her genuinely surprised and her voice becomes just as small as she is. “Jade?”

Jade waves nervously at her. “Hi.” 

There’s no time for awkward conversations, because Jade suddenly finds herself wrapped in the blonde’s embrace. Lizzie holds her tight, so tight that Jade thinks she might just be existing without breathing at this point, but it was okay. 

“I missed you.” Lizzie whispers to her ear.

//

Hope walks past the trailer that she has now left to Jade, directed to see Josie at the Old Mill. Hope’s first thought when Josie told her to come out there after work went to the bathtub, that she left to Jade along with the trailer. 

But as soon as she walks the pathway to the Mill, she realizes that the Mill is not there anymore. It comes to her as a shock. 

How could she not know about this? How could not Jade? 

That land is still under her name, someone should’ve warned her about it. She cared about that dusty, broken old Mill. The only thing she can see in the dark is just one last piece of wall standing in the middle of nowhere and a tall dark figure.

Then suddenly two blinding lights force her to close her eyes for a moment. Only then she notices that Josie is right next to the wall. 

“Where were you?! You’re twenty minutes late. I thought you bailed on me!” Josie yells at her upset. 

Hope is still too confused and maybe even a little amused to take her seriously, so she laughs right to her face (she always does). “I was dealing with Jade. What’s happening and where is the Mill?”

“I hired some people to take it down.” She simply says, as if the fact that she did that would not have an impact on Hope at all.

“You did what?! Josie, I told you I had a plan for the-“ 

Suddenly Josie brings out the house prints Hope had been looking for in the past two weeks. She started thinking that she had lost them after moving in, instead Josie had them the whole time? 

“I’ve been looking for that for two weeks!” She yells at her too. 

“I know, I had it.” 

_If Josie keeps answering her like all of this is nothing one more time..._

Hope sighs in frustration. “You care to explain why?” 

At this point, Josie’s voice softens. “I went to the construction company and since they already knew about your project they just told me it was okay to go and so...”

“So you demolished the Old Mill?” Hope asks, still trying to put the pieces together. 

“Not me...them.” Josie says innocently. 

Hope shakes her head and scoffs a laugh. “What’s up with the wall? And...the paints?” She points at the buckets of paint on the grass.

Josie smiles widely and places a hand on the white wall. “Oh, this is for you. Well, actually it’s just the start of what’s supposed to come with it later. Our house.” 

Josie stares intently at Hope, who looks at the brunette as if she has just seen the greatest piece of art hanging in a gallery. 

“You...what..how...wait.” 

She’s spiraling. She has to hold on to something, but there’s nothing. Nothing around her but Josie and a white wall too far from her.

“This wall can be our bedroom wall. I was thinking you might paint something on it, that’s why there are the paints. Or it can be the children’s bedroom wall...your choice.” She says, then walks closer to the auburn-haired girl and holds both of her hands. 

Hope is glad about that, because she can finally hold on to something. 

“Josie this is...beautiful.” She smiles and looks at the brunette with teary eyes, “But we still have to...”

“You did for me what no one ever did in my entire life. You loved me against all common sense, because if you really were a sane person, you should’ve given up on me way sooner.” She chuckles and brushes her thumb on Hope’s cheek, wiping off a tear. “But you didn’t. Instead you kept loving me even when I probably didn’t deserve it. And I’m not going to lie, most of the time I ask myself how did I get lucky enough to be considered worthy of your love.” 

“You are.” 

Josie smiles softly hearing Hope’s broken voice. “I didn’t really believe it at first, because of...everything, you know. I messed up a lot, but now I’m done with messing up.” She pauses, “You’re the very best of us, Hope, and if I’m half as good as you see me it’s only because I’ve become a reflection of who you are. And I needed to do this for you, too. To show you that I’m really done running. I’m done. I want this, I want us, I want everything and I want it with you, Hope. I want a lifetime together. I want to grow as a person and as a doctor next to you, cheer about your accomplishments and mine, build a family, sleep with you, waking up with you...and ultimately die together, because I don’t think I could take the heartache of losing you. And neither could you.” 

Hope chuckles and nods gently. “You’re right, but that part might be more complicated than that.” 

Josie stares at her in adoration, caressing Hope’s face with a gentle touch. “It doesn’t matter. We can do anything together, right?” 

Hope places her hand on Josie’s and brings it close to her lips, leaving a soft kiss on its back. “Anything.” 

They smile at each other for what feels like forever, until Hope finally brings their lips together in a long and passionate kiss. She only breaks the kiss when there’s no more air for them to share, and they look at each other with their cheeks red. Josie frowns when she sees Hope starting to walk backwards and put some distance between them. 

“What?”

But Hope’s smile doesn’t fade, it’s still there, if not wider. “Stay here. Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back.”

Josie doesn’t have the time to ask what she was up to, because Hope starts running away until she disappears into the woods, only to come back almost ten minutes later, still running and out of breath.

“It took you long enough, short legs.”

“And suddenly I realized you don’t deserve what I was about to give you.” 

“Oh come on, you just agreed to spend a lifetime with me, expect jokes!” She teases Hope, while the auburn haired girl finally stands in front of her again. 

“I haven’t agreed yet, technically.” Hope says.

Josie’s smile falters, now her expression serious and almost anxious, Hope dares to say, not really saying it. 

“Listen, Hope. I just put my heart in your hands, don’t you dare crush it now because I swear to God-“ 

She doesn’t get to finish the sentence. She doesn’t even know what she was about to say, because now her eyes and all her thoughts are captured by the box with a shining ring Hope is holding in her hands. 

“Yes, I agree to spend a lifetime with you.” Hope tells her. 

Josie scoffs and then exhales deeply, first looking at the ring and then at Hope, then at the ring again. “You don’t know what you’re getting into.” 

Hope smiles softly and takes the ring in her hand, gently slipping it on Josie’s finger. Both of them look at the shining ring, then they meet each other’s gaze again. 

“I think I’ve been into it for a long time already, at this point...there’s nothing you could do to scare me away.” 

Josie smiles widely and stares at her ring once again, then jumps into Hope’s arms like a child. “Can you believe I’m going to marry the stranger from the bar?” 

Hope smiles amused. “Sounds familiar. I think we’re marring the same person.” 

“Hmm, don’t think so.” Josie starts closing the distance between them, “There’s only one of you.” 

A little more...

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yes.” The brunette whispers.

And a little more...


	35. Chapter 35

When something begins, we generally have no idea it might end. We look far away from the present and picture how the future will be looking at what we have in the present. 

Don’t do that. 

Expectations can be disappointing. 

Like our chemicals, life is always changing. Nothing stays the same, unless we’re determined enough to keep what we have or seek what we don’t. 

It takes courage, strength, and...what else?

“Jade? Wake up.” 

Hope tries to shake the girl from her sleep, but it’s easier said than done. After coming back home only three hours before, Josie and Hope had found Jade curled up on the couch fast asleep, along with Lizzie. Although the two were distant from each other, it was still heartwarming seeing them like that again. Hope takes a mental note to ask Jade about her talk with Lizzie later, but right now, she really needs to wake her up.

“Jade!” Hope whispers harshly, but Jade is still not moving. Hope thinks that anyone could believe she’s dead by looking at her like this. 

“Try slapping her on the forehead. That usually works.” Lizzie says getting up from the couch, still sleepy. 

Hope frowns and wonders if that could really do it, but since Lizzie said it and well...who knows Jade better than Lizzie? 

So Hope slaps hard on her forehead, making the girl jump awake and scared, even if just for a moment, because then her scared and confused face is replaced by a murderous look. 

“What the hell, Hope?!”

“Lizzie said it’s the only way to wake you up!” 

Jade scoffs and shakes her head. She should be mad at Lizzie for that, but she won’t. It actually amuses her a little. It feels like nothing’s changed. 

“That’s not true!”

“Oh.” Hope shrugs innocently and takes the blanket off of Jade, “Well, I’ll start using that now. It’s satisfying.” 

“Try that again and I’ll cut off every nerve in your hands.”

Hope looks at her like she’s a psycho. “Ending my career just because I wake you up? And you call yourself my best friend. Rude.”

Jade throws three pillows at Hope and then starts running upstairs to the bathroom, while Hope tries to catch up and pull her back. 

“I’m going first!” 

Hope wraps her waist and turns around pulling her down, leaving her on the floor. And in return Jade grabs her ankle and holds her steady. 

“You can use Josie’s bathroom!” 

“This one has more light!” 

Josie walks out of her room in her bathrobe, looking down at the two girls on the floor with a pointed look. “How old are you two?” 

Hope shakes Jade’s hands off of her and rushes into the bathroom first, while Jade bumps against the closed door trying to get in. She punches at the door and sits back on the floor, her back leaning against the wall.

“Don’t you dare poop in there!” Jade screams.

“I’m not pooping!” Hope screams in defense.

Maybe even someone who will have your back, for good or for worse.

/ /

“Mikaelson, Montgomery is with your patient in trauma two. Claire, come with me. We have a 15-year-old female. She fell off the roof of her house.” Bennett says.

“Oh, you paged me here at 4:00 a. m. for a couple of broken bones?” Davina asks in confusion. 

“More like 50.” 

Meanwhile in trauma two, Rebekah and Jade are assisting their patient. “Laura Young, 30 weeks pregnant. Car accident. Head CT showed a subdural.“ The paramedic says.

At the same moment, Hope walks into the room too.

“Baby's in distress.” Rebekah says. 

“Wait. Hold on.” Hope says, checking on the baby’s monitor. “Baby’s brain is hemorrhaging.”

“She needs a crash "c", you handle the bleed.” Rebekah instructs. 

After the rush hours of consequential surgeries and fighting to get the free OR’s, most of the patients were already in intensive care, even though they were not completely out of the woods yet. 

Jade and Hope stand beside their patient’s bed, Laura, checking her vitals and brain activity. Hope yawns loudly while holding the pen on the patient’s chart. She doesn’t even know how she managed to do that kind of surgery without falling asleep before. Probably adrenaline did it for her.

“What time is it?” Hope asks. 

Jade checks her phone. “Uh, half past nine.”

“I need to take a nap before I crush in the OR.” Hope says. 

“A stroke before you're even born... rough way to start a life.” Jade says, thinking about the newborn baby. 

“How‘s the baby?” 

“She’s stable for now.” 

“And...how are you?” Hope asks, eyeing the girl out of the corner of her eyes.

“I’m fine, why do you ask?” 

“I found you and Lizzie sleeping on the couch this morning.”

Jade sighs and shakes her head, denying whatever thought was crossing Hope’s mind. “We just talked. Nothing related to us. We’re good... I think.”

“So you’re done avoiding her?”

“If you managed to coexist with your ex wife and ex best friend in the same hospital, I can see Lizzie and be there for her without my feelings getting in the way.” She says firmly. 

Hope smiles and nods satisfied. “Glad to be your role model.” 

Jade sticks her tongue out in a childish grimace, while Hope places the patient’s chart on the table and walks out of the room with an amused smile on her face.

/ /

Rebekah walks in the common room where Davina and Rafael are having a late breakfast. As soon as the two see her, they smile widely at the blonde pediatric surgeon. 

“What?” Rebekah asks confused.

“Hope said it’s your birthday today. Why didn’t I know it’s your birthday?” Davina says playfully, narrowing her eyes at the girl.

“Well if Hope told you that, she also should’ve told you that I don’t like celebrating my birthday.” 

Rafael frowns. “Why not?” 

Rebekah suddenly feels cornered by the question. She really doesn’t want to answer that, because it might sound stupid or just...too much. The only people who know why she doesn’t celebrate are her family, for obvious reasons. This doesn’t mean that Davina and Rafael are strangers to her, but she and Davina just started dating and telling your new girlfriend that you don’t celebrate your birthday because her first and only love died on the same day, was not something she was keen on sharing. 

She hates this day. And she can’t think of having any kind of fun.

“It makes me feel old.” She lies. 

“What are you talking about? You don’t have a wrinkle on you.” Rafael says.

“Give it a day. You’ll see my first.” 

Davina shakes her head and surrounds her arms around Rebekah’s neck. “You are stunning. And we should still do something to celebrate.”

“It’s no big deal, really. Besides, I’ll be here all day. I have a big surgery and the parents of this kid just offered $25 million to Peds program, so I can research on their son’s condition.” 

“Rebekah that’s amazing!” Davina says clapping her hands together in excitement. 

“That’s something worth for celebration.” Rafael points out.

Rebekah tries to avoid the subject once again. “Shouldn’t you be talking to Olivia right now?” Rafael’s smile fades. 

_Ha._

“I probably should talk to Hope, too.” He says, his gaze low on the table.

“My niece is happily engaged with the lover of her life, I don’t think she will care that much if you got her ex wife pregnant at this point.” 

“You know, for a guy who has been with a lot of women, you actually seem really scared of them.” Davina says, looking at him closely. 

“I am not!” He defends himself. The two girls give him a pointed look. “Fine. But let’s be clear, only two women have that effect on me.” He says pointing a finger at them.

“The only two who would beat your ass, obviously.” Rebekah says.

“So what did you and Maya decide?”

“We... we will try to make this work, for the baby.” 

Both Rebekah and Davina look at him in surprise. “You mean together?” Davina asks. 

“What about Olivia?” Rebekah adds.

He sighs. “Look, you know how much I fucked up in the past. If I’m going to be a dad, I want to do it right. And I want to be a good example for my kid. That means I have to grow up, take my responsibilities and build a family.” 

“That sounds like a speech from Teen Mom.” Rebekah says frowning. 

“Those may be my dad’s words, but still,” He exhales nervously, “even if I care about her, I have to think about this kid first.”

“Well, just make sure you do this right Raf. I don’t think Liv will take this well anyway, but be gentle.” Davina says.

Despite hating every bit of this, Davina was right. He knows that he should talk to Liv and tell her the truth, and he can tell that the girl had tried to reach him a few times over the last couple of days, but he always managed to keep himself busy with patients and surgeries and sneak out of the hospital without her noticing. 

But keeping it like this wasn’t doing them any good, if not giving Rafael a high sense of anxiety and frustration, which made it impossible for him to even sleep at night. 

Before making his decision and after talking with Maya, he asked himself what his feelings for Liv meant. Because there were feelings, there’s no point in denying it. 

But is it affection? Love? 

He did ask her to move in with him, although he could not put what he felt for the girl into words. He cared - cares - for her, for sure, but he and Maya had way more history. There was a time where he believed Maya was the one for him. Even with everything that happened, he’s not sure he can compare what they have and what he and Liv have. 

But none of that matters anymore. Even if Liv is the one he wanted to build something good with, now he has one important reason to do it differently.

It’s just how it’s supposed to be. 

/ /

Alyssa has been on edge for a few days now. She has been avoiding talking to Jed about what she said and apparently he silently agreed with her to never talk about it. To be honest, Alyssa is grateful about that. Not asking what she doesn’t want to be asked is better. 

Having surgeries together has been a good way to keep their conversations... strictly professional. 

_God._

_That’s so lame._

Even Alyssa can’t believe they’re doing that. You can’t even consider it a real relationship if it’s only work talks, right? She knows that. She knows because she sees how different it is with Josie and Hope. She sees how they talk about their obsessions, passions, guilty pleasures, how they know what the other is thinking and what the other is going to say. She sees how they do everything together because what Josie can’t do, Hope will do it for her. And when everything starts to weight on one of them, the other is there to carry half of that weight. 

Alyssa would be lying if she said she hasn’t thought of having something like what they have, despite being incredibly cynical. But the moment she thinks it can’t be that difficult, she takes a step back. It actually is, difficult.

Surgery is what she’s good at. What she can do without stepping back scared and where she won’t get hurt. And she hates when people won’t allow her to do the only thing she’s confident about. Or maybe she just hates Jed right now, because he hasn’t allowed her to do anything in the OR for days now, and she thinks it’s probably to punish her somehow.

“This is ridiculous. You're wasting all this time down here, when we should be dealing with the heart problem directly.” Alyssa says.

Jed and Bennett are operating on a man, while Alyssa is being forced (her interpretation) to stand by and just watch. 

When has she ever just watched? She’s always been the best amongst the interns. Even when she first arrived, she never was in the OR without holding a scalpel or a suction tube. Since then, she’s grown and improved so much, and she was far beyond any expectation for a second year intern.

“We are following protocol. Cardio is on its way, and we can find the source of the embolus this way.” Jed says, keeping his focus on the man’s open abdomen.

Alyssa sighs in frustration, then she looks at the monitor, then at the man, and finally at Jed and Dr. Bennett. 

“Screw it.”

She moves to the left side of the table and removes the blue sheet from the man’s naked chest.

“Dr. Chang, the patient is not coding, and you are not qualified to do this.” Bennett says severely. 

“Alyssa, don’t.” Jed tells her in a commanding tone, his eyes wide open. Is he supposed to scare her like that?

Alyssa glances at both of them and then takes the scalpel on the tray. “Opening the left chest.”

“Dr. Chang!” Bennett yells.

“Alyssa what do you think you’re doing?” Jed asks.

“Will someone please step on the fluoro? Or do you want me to go in blind?”

Alyssa glances at the two of them. Three. Because Lizzie is also there, assisting the surgery, now looking at Alyssa as if trying to read her mind, wanting to trust her but also not wanting to get in trouble on her first day back. But then she thinks there wasn’t a time where Alyssa had been wrong about something, especially about Cardio surgery. 

“Dr. Chang, put down that scalpel!”

Lizzie steps next to the monitor and turns it on, allowing Alyssa to see right inside the man’s chest. 

Alyssa glances at her in understanding. “Thank you.” 

“Alyssa!” Jed still calls at her, but she ignores him. 

“Scissors.”

Alyssa widens the man’s chest and then sticks a syringe next to his heart, slowly and careful not to touch the wrong spot.

“I’m here!” Keelin says walking in the room in a rush. “What did I miss?”

“Alyssa!” Jed yells again.

“I’m done. I did it. Air embolus out.” 

Alyssa looks at them confidently, without letting their severe glances scare her. 

“Get the hell out of here, Dr. Chang.” Bennett orders her. And Alyssa, without even blinking, does so. 

When the surgery is finally over, both Keelin and Jed walk outside the OR to talk to Alyssa, who was fully aware this was coming. 

“The patient was crashing.” Jed says harshly.

“He was not crashing. It was a procedure I've done before. I handled it, and he’s fine.” She says calmly.

“Yeah, but what if he wasn't? You could've lacerated his heart or cut the phrenic nerve. He could've died on that table. What then? It would've been your license!” Jed argues back.

“But I didn’t. So everything is good.” 

Alyssa’s casual answers are probably the thing that irritates him the most. 

“What did you have to prove, Alyssa? You could’ve just waited for a C.T. surgeon who would've been able to take a more minimally invasive approach.”

“As I told Dr. Malraux before, I would’ve done it if I thought it was indicated.” 

“No, Alyssa! See, this is your problem! You wanted to be in charge because it’s what you’re used to do. But you should understand that until you’re an intern without all the means and the knowledge you need, you can’t be in charge by yourself. That’s why we’re here, us residents, attendings, we’re here to guide you. I don’t care how good you think you are...you can’t do that! Sometimes you just need to, you know, trust others! Let yourself just be instead of always being so in control of everything, feelings included.” He was rambling and out of control. 

Alyssa was expecting to be called out for her insubordination, but didn’t think he could move from one topic to another.  
Especially this one. Especially, if he starts to assume about her feelings.

“Yes, I do want to be always in charge. And yes, I know that I’m not supposed to do that in the OR. I could’ve been wrong, but I wasn’t, because I knew what I was doing. Because I’m a good surgeon. And going from calling me out because of what I did is one thing, but going from that to trying to make me feel bad about not letting myself do what? Fall madly in love with you?” She scoffs, “Maybe I’m too hard to break and maybe I don’t like the thought of letting myself go that far with my feelings because I’ve never done feelings. I don’t even know if I want them!” 

“Then what are we even doing Alyssa?!” He yells. 

Suddenly silence falls between them, and Keelin awkwardly clears her throat, finally catching their attention. “I think I’ll be on my way. Come find me when you’re done Chang.” 

Once Keelin is gone, Alyssa’s gaze focuses on Jed again, who’s looking at her in between torn and angry. Selfishly, it’s not enough to make Alyssa feel bad about her actions. Selfishly, she just wants him to get it. 

“I know you didn’t mean it like that, when you said you loved me. I just hoped...for a moment, that you were starting to get there.” 

Alyssa stares at him in silence, unable to say anything to that, because she really doesn’t know what to do or say.

What she knows, it’s that her heart doesn’t walk hand in hand with her head.

/ /

Josie walks in the CT room, finally finding what she had been looking for.

Or better, who. 

Hope is going through some scans and she doesn’t even hear the brunette approaching, so Josie figures she must be really focused.

Hope only acknowledges Josie’s presence when she surrounds her waist with her arms and rests her chin on Hope’s shoulder. 

“Hey.” Hope’s serious expression fades for a moment as she smiles softly at Josie.

“How are you?” Josie whispers to her ear, then places a tender kiss on her temple. 

“I’m okay baby, I promise.” 

Josie was worried that today could be hard on Hope because of the anniversary of her mother’s death, but since Hope had been talking about her emotions and sharing more about her past, she had been surprisingly better at dealing with everything that comes with it. 

Josie couldn’t help but worry anyway. She probably will always worry, no matter how much she believes in Hope’s strength. 

“What are we looking at?” Josie asks. 

“My patient’s scans.” Hope turns her head to look at the brunette. “Shouldn’t you be somewhere?” 

“Oh now I can’t even stop by and kiss my fiancée?” 

Hope smirks and narrows her eyes. “What do you want?” 

Hope knows her so well. And Josie doesn’t hesitate to go straight to the point. 

“We should pick a date for the wedding.” She sits on the table and grabs Hope’s lab coat to pull her closer. 

“Ohh, I like that. What were you thinking?” She pulls a strand of hair behind Josie’s ear and curls her fingers between them.

“Well, the real question is...how long do we want to wait?” 

Hope gives her the softest smile, and Josie almost melts under her gaze. “Do we want to wait?” 

Josie smiles back. “No, we don’t.” 

“Then let’s just pick a day and we’ll be married within a month.” 

Suddenly Josie realizes something. “Wait, but what about the house? It’s still not ready...” she pouts.

“Does it matter? It will be by the time we have kids.” 

Josie smiles widely and bites her tongue between her teeth, suddenly blushing and titling her head to the side in a cute and sheepish way. “Does this mean one of us might be pregnant by the end of the year?” 

“Might be you.” Hope says pressing her forehead against Josie’s.

Hope can suddenly see brown eyes sparkling. “Really? You...you’d want me to do it?”

“I know how much you want it, so yes.” Hope brushes a thumb on Josie’s cheek, and the brunette rests her face in her hands completely. “I can do the second round.” Hope says. 

Josie chuckles and ultimately gets up from the table, forcing Hope to step back. “Now I can tell Alyssa that I’ll have your babies too!” 

That brings a loud laugh out of Hope that fills the entire room. Josie only glances at her one last time before walking away, while Hope keeps smiling to herself for a while more. 

/ /

Jade is in the Infant Intensive Care Unit, holding the premature baby to her chest, moving gently in the middle of the room while humming a song. 

When Rebekah walks into the room and sees Jade like that, she hints a small smile. Jade notices the blonde surgeon staring at her, but then she focuses her gaze back on the small creature in her arms. 

“What are you doing?” Rebekah asks.

“I tried everything but she kept being restless. And I just thought that maybe she just... wanted to be held.” Jade whispers the last words, as if she was giving voice to a secret that was lying in the back of her head. “I read it somewhere while I was researching on premature babies. It’s called...”

“Kangaroo hold.” Rebekah says smiling softly.

Jade smiles back. “Yeah. In some cases kangaroo hold has helped babies thrive.”

“It sure does.” Rebekah’s smile widens by looking at the heart monitor. “Heart rate's going up. And her temperature is normal. Montgomery, you may have just kick-started this baby's entire system.”

Jade’s smile grows so wide, she might even start tearing up just by looking at the tiny little human resting on her chest. 

“Take off your shirt.” Rebekah says. “The kangaroo hold, it's most effective when there's skin-on-skin contact.”

“Are- are you sure?” Jade asks with uncertainty.

“Yes! Do it.” 

“Okay. Luckily I have my sport bra.” 

After taking off her shirt and resting the baby on her bare chest, they could see a an even better improvement. It was an amazing feeling, almost overwhelming. Somehow Jade sees herself in this child, who her mother didn’t get to hold. She understands her mother even more now, and feels even worse for the little girl in her arms, because she knows well how it feels not being held by the woman who’s supposed to love you the most. 

It’s not something you can recall with your memory at all, but it’s like a feeling rooted deeply under your skin. It’s about muscles memories. Jade always felt something missing. That kind of affection only a mother can give you as you set foot into the world for the first time. The first person to hold on to. The first person your eyes will see and you’ll know she’ll be there for you for a long time. 

Jade didn’t get that. This child didn’t get that, not with her mother, at least. But she could give it to her.

“You forgot your shirt in the on call room or is it just a new thing you’re trying to get a nurse into bed?”

A voice brings her out of her thoughts and  
raises her gaze to meet Hope smirking at her.

“I am giving this baby some comfort, you slutty thing.” Jade says.

Hope chuckles. “Motherhood looks good on you.” 

Jade smiles softly. “You think?” 

“Yeah, definitely.”

/ /

“I’m telling you, I don’t know what came over her. I know that Alyssa is a badass in the OR, but I didn’t think she would ever go that far.” Lizzie says walking along side with Josie in the corridors.

Josie sighs sadly. “There must be more to it. She wouldn’t just break the rules like that.”

“I think it has to do with Jed. He has become a great pain in the ass lately. How immature is he to keep her out of the OR just because she doesn’t feel the same?” 

“You’re right. I mean I get him too, he has these feelings for her while she’s always holding back, but knowing how Lyss is, what she went through... you also can’t blame her for not wanting to give all of herself to someone else. She went from one abusive family to another. Every man she’s ever known only hurt her. And Jed did it too.”

“I thought he was doing better now? And that they were past that?”

“Yeah, but still. Besides that, knowing Alyssa, if he doesn’t respect her boundaries and doesn’t give her the time she needs, she won’t want to go on.”

“You’re right.” Alyssa says, suddenly catching up with them in the hallway. 

The twins give her a worried look. “Alyssa, what’s wrong?” Lizzie asks.

“I... I love him, sure. I mean I care about him, but I can’t fully love him. Does it make sense?”

Lizzie frowns for a moment, while Josie knew exactly what her best friend meant with that.

“That’s okay.”

“That’s not okay, Jo. I realise now that even marrying him would have been a mistake and thank god you put some sense into me back then. Because I could never give him what he wants. I just... I don’t know if I can’t or don’t want to. But I probably just don’t want to. Is.. is that wrong? I mean is it so bad that I don’t want to feel like my existence depends on someone else? Like I need someone else by my side or to feel complete? Now I know...just don’t need that.”

“That’s totally fine, Alyssa.” Lizzie reassures her. “Considering that you went from fearing of being alone to feeling like you don’t need a man by your side, it’s actually a good thing.” 

“Yeah. That probably only makes you stronger than any of us here. Besides, it doesn’t mean that you will always feel like this. The fact that you’re not ready to compromise or let yourself fall madly for someone now doesn’t mean you never will.” Josie says, “But you have to be sure of what you want right now, and if you don’t want this kind of commitment just tell him. Feelings don’t work the same way for everyone.” 

Alyssa looks at the brunette with puppy eyes and sighs heavily. “Why can’t he get that like you do?” 

Josie smiles and rubs her hand in circles on her back. “That’s because you don’t really give him the chance.”

“I talk to him, Josie. He knows everything, but he still travels ten times faster than me. I can’t reach that kind of speed.” 

“Then just keep going slow. Think about what you need and then tell him.” Lizzie says. 

“Yeah, I will...” 

While the three walk by the Infant Intensive Care Unit, they all stop at the same time, seeing Jade shirtless in the middle of the room, holding a baby in her arms. 

They walk closer and now Jade has not one, but four people just staring at her curiously.

“Are you breast feeding her?” Lizzie asks. 

Making a dumb comment is a way for her to try not to feel what she’s really feeling watching the girl. A mixture of tenderness and...

“It’s the Kangaroo hold. Helps the baby.” Jade says with a soft smile.

“How’s the mother?” Josie asks. 

“She...she didn’t make it. She had a seizure an hour ago, her brain gave in.” Hope says sadly. 

“Oh my God...”

“What’s gonna happen to her now?” Lizzie asks.

“She didn’t have anyone else. Probably social services will take her and hopefully find her a family.” Rebekah says.

Jade suddenly feels her chest tighten and the air in the room missing. She can’t hold this baby and think about the moment they will take her away. She doesn’t want to feel this fear for the child, the fear that she might end up just like her. A wave of panic just starts overwhelming her. 

“Um, I need to...go to the bathroom. Could you...could you hold her for a moment?” Jade hands the baby to Rebekah, who takes her but glances curiously at the girl, whose face had gone pale. 

Jade rushes out of the room and Hope, being the good observer she is, follows her outside. 

/ /

Rebekah walks out of the hospital after ending her shift, finding Davina waiting for her sitting on a bench. The brunette smiles softly at her and stands up to greet her with a kiss. 

“Hi. I thought we could go home, order a pizza and watch a musical?” 

Rebekah frowns and looks suspiciously at the girl. “So you’re really not going to push with the party thing? Or is this just a diversion?” 

Davina chuckles and shakes her head, which already reassures Rebekah a little. “It’s not. I...talked to Hope and I saw that she was quite sad about her patient’s death. She said it made her kind of sad because, well...” She doesn’t need to finish the sentence, because Rebekah knows that now the brunette knows too. 

She lowers her gaze to the ground, but Davina brings a finger under her chin to make the blonde look at her. “I get it. I’m not mad, I couldn’t be. And you don’t need to feel bad about it.”

“It’s just... I know it’s stupid. I mean I shouldn’t let this affect me after all these years, especially now that I’m with you... and I’m happy... and I love you...”

Davina’s face goes from shock to happiness in seconds. “You what?” 

While Rebekah, is just shocked. “Oh. I- I didn’t...no. I meant it, yes. I...” She laughs nervously and then sighs softly, while the brunette keeps staring at her with a small smile on her lips. “You’re amazing.” 

Davina keeps smiling and takes her hand. “What about waffles and a candle?”

It sounds nice. It sounds like a good start. 

“Yes.” 

“Alyssa, I’m talking to you!” Jed yells while walking outside the hospital. Alyssa keeps walking away, refusing to talk to him or even listen to him.

“Just go home Jed.” 

“That’s the best thing you can do! Walk away! And I always have to come after you! I’m tired of this Alyssa, I’m really tired.”

Alyssa suddenly stops and turns around, raising her voice even louder. “Then just let me go!” Silence falls between them for a moment, only their heavy breaths filling the air, but then Alyssa speaks again. “You can’t tell me that I took advantage of my relationship with you, because you’re the first who cut me out of the O.R. since the day those three words slipped my mouth. Don’t try do deny it.”

Jed keeps silent and looks anywhere but her. 

“See? Do you think that punishing me for that is gonna make this any better? Or that I will actually start feeling the same way you feel about me?” 

“Then why did you say it?” His tone is sad now.

“I just...I-“ For a moment she can’t put a sentence together, she mutters inaudible words before she takes a deep breath and meets his gaze. “I know you’re a good person. And I don’t doubt about your love for me. I doubt about mine.” He looks confused, so she keeps talking to explain herself. “I love you, but not like you would want me to. I don’t know if I want that right now, to be honest. I thought I did, all this time, but now... I just feel like being on my own is enough. I can’t force myself into something I don’t want completely. I can’t force myself into feelings. I’m not expecting you to understand, but please respect that at least.” 

Surprisingly, he doesn’t push it anymore and he doesn’t make her feel bad about it either, despite looking sincerely heartbroken.

“All right. Then...we’re done.” He simply says.

Alyssa nods lightly and stays silent, while Jed walks past her and she keeps standing there, sighing heavily. Lizzie sees the raven haired girl standing in the middle of the parking lot, and approaches her. 

“Did you talk to him?”

Alyssa looks up at the blonde staring at her and nods. “Yeah. I...I ended it.” 

Lizzie presses her lips together and walks closer to the girl, placing a hand on her shoulder as comfort. “Josie and I were supposed to have a sisters night, but I guess we can squeeze you in.” 

Alyssa smiles thankfully at her, then they walk towards the car and wait for Josie. 

Rafael also walks out of the hospital to finally go home. He knows he should’ve talked to Olivia and that he’s acting like a coward again, but he thinks there is time for that. There’s always time. 

But unluckily for him, sneaking out of the hospital without her knowing doesn’t work this time, because Olivia sees him and calls him out. 

“Rafael? Can we talk for a moment, please?”

Rafael simply freezes. She looks as beautiful as always, but also a little anxious. Rafael has never seen her this nervous before. She’s always so tough, even tougher than him sometimes. It’s kind of cute, but also concerning.

“Actually, you don’t have to talk. I just have to say this because it’s...it’s been killing me for days and I just can’t keep it inside anymore or I feel like it will eat me alive. I just need to say that- that I miss you. And I can’t even remember the reason why we’re into this mess in the first place. I don’t even care whose fault it is. Right now any reason we had before is just dumb to me, because the truth is that I want you.” She chuckles, looking at him with teary eyes, while he looks stunned, almost petrified. “I want to be with you, because I love you. And I should’ve said it before... but I love you. It’s like...I don’t know how to be around you without being with you. Every bone...and every nerve in my body just leads to you. And I had to say it, I had to say it because I can’t wait for one of us being to the point of death to tell you how I feel. Because that would be a mistake.” 

She finally lets out a deep breath, tearing up and staring at him full of hope, while Rafael looks at her with his mouth half open, feeling stuck.

A minute, maybe ten go by before Liv is the one to speak again. “Please say something.” Her voice cracks. 

“Maya is pregnant.” 

Then it all falls down again.

/ /

“Hope? Why are you still here?” Josie asks.

She caught Hope on her way to leave the hospital, while the auburn haired girl was still in her work clothes.

“I just finished my shift, but I’m looking for Jade. She vanished before and I haven’t seen her since.”

“She probably needed a moment.” Josie says softly, rubbing her hand on Hope’s chest. 

“Yeah. But I’ll see you at home when you come back, okay? Wake me up if I’m asleep.” 

“Why do you want me to wake you?” 

“Because I barely saw you today and I’m gonna need cuddles.”

Josie smiles softly and circles Hope’s waist with her arms. “Are you sure you don’t need me to stay? I can tell Lizzie you need me tonight.”

Hope shakes her head and smiles softly. “No baby, I’m fine, really. I’ll just annoy Jade for the time being.” 

“Hmm. Okay.” Josie places a sweet kiss on her lips before letting her go. “I’ll bring you some beignets.”

“Ah! That’s why I’m marrying you.” 

They exchange one last smile and then Hope keeps searching for Jade around the hospital for the next twenty minutes, until she finally finds her where she should’ve been looking from the beginning: the babies Intensive Care Unit, sitting on a rocking chair with the baby resting on her chest. 

She sits in front of her and takes a closer look at the baby, brushing a finger on her small cheek. “She gained more color.” 

“Yeah, she did.” Jade whispers.

Hope studies the girl, who doesn’t dare to raise her gaze from the baby in her arms, adverting her sadness. “Jade? What’s wrong?” She asks.

Only then Jade looks at her in the eyes, and it’s like she finally cracks under Hope’s tender gaze, because she knows she can be vulnerable with her. 

“What if she doesn’t find a family?”

“I’m sure she will. There are many couples out there who would be happy to have her.” 

“But what if no one does?” 

Hope knows where this is coming from, and it breaks her heart that Jade is scared that this baby could have the same fate she had. It breaks her heart that this keeps hurting her, and even if she has her parents now, it always will. 

“We’ll make sure she’ll find a good family then.” She tries to reassure her.

“Or maybe we can just...be her family.” She mutters under her breath, catching Hope by surprise.

“What?” 

“Do you think I’m crazy for thinking about this? I mean...I know I’m on my own, but I would do anything to make it work. But she’ll have people who love her. Like..like Josie, you, and Lizzie and Alyssa...”

“Jade..Jade, hold on. What are you saying? That you...you want to adopt her?” 

Jade exhales deeply, silently crying for the first time after so long. “You don’t think I can do it.” Her voice breaks more. 

Hope shakes her head and smiles at her reassuringly. “No, no no no. I think you can do anything. And knowing you, any baby would be lucky to get all the love you’re able to give.” 

Jade smiles between tears and sniffles. “But?”

Hope sighs. “But it will be hard to get custody if there is a married couple out there more suitable while you’re technically on your own.”

Jade keeps silent for while, her gaze on the little girl in her arms, while she caresses her gently. “Hope?”

“Yeah?” Her voice comes out as a whisper.

Jade glances at Hope again. “Would you help me?” 

Hope looks at her in confusion. “Help you..”

“With the custody.” 

Hope looks at her bewildered, honestly speechless. This was something big, and she doesn’t know how this would affect her and Josie’s relationship. The mere thought scares her for a moment. 

“Oh, Jade...”

“Just...please. I know this is huge but if I have to _‘be’_ with someone to have a shot at this I only trust you to do this with. I surely can’t ask Lizzie to take responsibility of something like this after we just broke up, can I? And she has too much on her plate already...” She pauses, “Just talk to Josie. Please.” 

Hope shakes her head in confusion, still shocked, her heart pounding in her ears. “But why me? Why not Josie? I mean...you’ve been friends with her for longer. Maybe it’s best if you ask her.” 

Jade scoffs a laugh and smiles at the auburn-haired girl. “It’s not the same, Hope. You’re like...the only one who could make me run a ten miles marathon even if I know I would probably die after two. If the only way to save our asses from a fire would be jumping from the roof of this hospital and you told me we could survive the fall, I would believe you. And I love Lizzie, so much. And Josie. But I remember how it all started and how difficult it was for her to trust me, while you...you just did, without me never having to prove anything to you. I’ve never had that one person I could feel myself connected to to the point of wanting to do something like this without even being in love with them.” 

Hope chuckles between tears. “Well, that’s disappointing.” 

Jade laughs too and then the two just stare at each other silently before Jade speaks again. “Don’t tell Josie and Alyssa I told you this, but you are my person.” 

Hope smiles, and another tear falls down her cheek. 

“And I need you to do this with me, please.” Jade finishes.

Hope nods softly, “Okay. I’ll talk to her.” 

We spend a great amount of time worrying about our future, planning the future, trying to predict it, as if knowing what’s going to happen will somehow be reassuring. But the future is always changing, our choices and our desires, our hopes and dreams, what we want, are always changing. 

There’s always that small constant in the equation that can change the result. But that difference doesn’t make it necessarily wrong. 

We can start from what the present gives to us. 

Start from now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Doubts? Theories? 👀


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I believe last chapter left some of you a little worried and not really pleased with this arch, but I’m going to say in advance that this will not be standing in the way of hosie AT ALL. In fact I have many good things in store for them, too. This was not only something to give Jade’s character a new growth, but also a way to give development to the friendship in the story. I think it’s clear by now that I don’t care only about the ship but I aim to create strong connections between all of them. 
> 
> Besides, I know many of you never watched the show but Grey’s is WAY more messy and complicated, and as I said before the story kinda follows the same line. So you have to expect chaos, drama, angst, deaths and all. I never started this fic with the intention of giving you flowers and rainbows, to be honest 😂 (There’s a happy ending though)
> 
> So I hope this clears things up for everything that’s coming. But I understand if some of you are not happy with the story anymore. In that case, sorry to disappoint your expectations. 
> 
> I hope this clears things up for what comes next. Also, there is more hosie coming.

There are moments that in a split second can change your life, and before you know it, you’re someone else. Life itself not always dark and twisty. It’s not all crap and misery. One day you wake up or just go back home and you realize...life is joy.

Hope walks out of surgery after three hours. It’s only eight in the morning and she still has a long day ahead of her. It’s not much the work she has to do, but more the fact that she has to talk to Josie that has her so nervous. 

When Josie came back the previous night Hope had barely the strength to acknowledge that she was there. She just crawled into her arms and fell asleep by the time Josie said she missed her and Hope muttered something that sounded like ‘I missed you too’.

Now she has to talk to her, but she has to do it with Jade. It’s only fair.

“Hope, honey, you look pale.” Keelin says looking closely at her.

Hope shakes her head, coming out of her thoughts. “I’m fine. I just didn’t have anything to eat yet.”

“And you just had surgery? Hope, we talked about this already.” Keelin says severely.

Hope lowers her head like a scolded child, “Sorry.” She says in in a sweet voice. 

“Let’s go get something to eat, okay?” 

As they were about to go, Jade appears right in front of them, looking like she had been running through the entire hospital to get there.

“Hey.” She looks at Hope, then at Keelin. “Good morning Dr. Malraux. I need Dr. Mikaelson for a moment.” 

“Unless it’s an emergency, it can wait. She needs to eat something.”

“Aunt Keelin...” Hope protests.

“I’ll get her something to eat. I promise.” She takes Hope’s hand and starts dragging her away. 

“What’s going on?” Hope asks confused.

Jade stops for a moment. She’s hyperventilating. She’s definitely close to death, Hope thinks. “The social worker is here. They say there’s a...a possible couple. Hope...”

Hope places her hands on her arms to steady and calm her. “Jade, breathe.” She actually holds her breath for a moment more, but then she breathes in and then out. “Good. Now, we’re going to talk to Josie and then the social worker and tell them they have another option, okay?”

Jade nods frantically. 

“Okay. Let’s go.” 

/ /

“I can’t fucking believe it.” Lizzie says.

“How...when?!” Josie yells.

“I don’t know and I don’t care. I just...it sounds crazy.” Liv says. 

The three are sitting on the terrace bar, where Josie and Lizzie have been trying to comfort their sister after she found out about Rafael and Maya. 

“I can’t believe I actually thought we could finally fix things and... and be together. I mean you guys were right. He was a mistake from the beginning.”

The twins give her an apologetic look, and Josie rests her hand on her sister’s. “For the record, I really didn’t want to be right.”

“Okay but...not to defend the guy, you two were broken up when it happened, right?” Lizzie asks.

“Well, it doesn’t make it better, Lizzie. Surely I wouldn’t give the guy a prize just for that.” Alyssa says. 

“I know, but maybe he didn’t mean to. Maybe he was just as sad as you for what happened, but he fucked up, and now he regrets it.” Lizzie says. 

Josie glances sadly at her sister, knowing that she still regrets what she did to Jade.

“Lizzie...your situation was different.” Liv says gently. 

Lizzie scoffs a laugh. “Yeah, because I had a manic episode? It was still my mistake Liv. I knew what I was doing, but at the moment I just didn’t care enough. If I could go back in time I would stop myself from making that mistake again. What I want to say is...I don’t think he meant to hurt you. Sometimes we end up hurting the people we love the most without meaning to. It shouldn’t happen, but it does.” Lizzie says. 

Liv keeps silent and then glances at the three girls around her. “But he doesn’t..” She swallows hard, as if trying to choke her broken voice down her throat, “Love me. He doesn’t. At least I don’t think so.” 

“He wants to be with her?” Josie asks.

“He says he wants to do things right. For the baby.” 

Alyssa scoffs. “Then he’s trying to make things work with her just out of obligation. But did he say he loves her and not you?”

“He didn’t, but...”

“Then maybe you should ask him.” Alyssa says.

“I think you should give him some time to process everything, you know...the fact that you love him alongside the fact that he’s going to be a father. It might be too much for him right now.” Josie says.

“Are we really sympathizing with the enemy?” Alyssa makes a disgusted face. 

“I’m not sympathizing, Lyss, I’m being objective. I’ve been in this situation with Hope before, when she told me she loved me and wanted to be with me, but I was with Penelope. It took me some time to digest everything and stop being in denial. Maybe Rafael needs the same.” She explains. 

“Yeah, maybe.” Liv says. 

Suddenly three pagers start beeping and Alyssa, Lizzie and Liv rush inside to go to their patients, while Josie bumps into someone just as she walks around the corner.

“Dr. Mikaelson, no running in the corridors.” Josie imitates Bennett, which brings a small smile on Hope’s face.

“Sorry. I was looking for you actually.” 

“What’s up?” 

“We...need to talk. Come with me.”

“Oh, okay...all right.” 

Hope drags her in the elevator without saying a word. Josie glances suspiciously at her, noticing Hope’s distress. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good, she thinks.

When they arrive in an empty conference room, Josie notices Jade sitting around the table. The girl instantly straightens her posture as she sees the brunette walking in, getting immediately tense. 

“What’s...going on? Jade?” 

Josie glances between the two in confusion, while Hope walks in a corner of the room, almost wishing she could disappear, and hoping that Jade would start talking for her. 

She’s not normally a coward. In fact, she had been rather brave about her feelings for Josie until now, but this was something different. It made her feel nervous. Probably because she fears that making her best friend happy could jeopardize her relationship with Josie, and she can’t lose either of them.

“Hope and I have to ask you something. It’s... rather huge, actually.” Jade looks at Hope, silently asking for help, but getting that she won’t have it from her yet, then glances at Josie again. “Um.”

Josie chuckles nervously and brings an arms around her stomach, as if giving herself a hug. “Guys, you’re scaring me.” 

“Jo...you remember that kid I was holding yesterday, right?” Jade asks. Josie simply nods, waiting for her to continue. Jade wets her lips and then swallows with difficulty. “Um, I felt something. I...while I was holding her, I saw myself in her.”

Josie’s gaze softens, and Jade knows that she was getting it, so she feels compelled to go on. 

“And I started feeling this...this need to protect her and just give her everything I never had. A mother. A family...”

Josie raises her eyebrows in surprise. “You...you want to adopt the child?” Her tone is incredulous, but Jade understands why it would be hard to believe. 

“Yes. But I’m not married or anything and to have a better chance I...I need help.” 

The initial confusion is back on Josie’s face now. “O..okay. Um, how can I help?”

“Jade asked me if I could do it...with her.” Hope finally breaks her silence, stepping in.

Josie looks between the two girls. “You mean Hope would be adopting with you?” 

“Essentially, yes.” Hope says.

Josie has that kind of look that Hope knows well. The ‘wait, let me process’ kind of face. 

The brunette takes a seat and stares into the void for a moment, then she raises her gaze to meet Jade’s.

“I’m sorry. The only part that is difficult for me to understand is... why Hope and not me?” 

She seems...angry? Disappointed? Confused? Neither of the two girls in front of her can tell what she’s really feeling. Jade shoots a worried look at Hope, then at Josie again. 

“I...”

Hope tries to step in again and help Jade. “Josie if this is uncomfortable for you...” 

“It’s not that.” Josie interrupts her. “I mean it’s...it’s something huge. You’re asking Hope to do this with you but not me? We’re...we’re sisters. I-“

Jade interrupts her. “Yes we are Jo, but you’re also Lizzie’s sister. And you don’t need me to remind you I’m still shamelessly in love with her. The last thing we want is to share a child together.” Jade points out.

“But you can share it with Hope?” 

Silence falls between the three, until Hope walks closer to her and Josie meets blue soft eyes.

“Jo, if you don’t feel comfortable with me doing it, I understand. It’s not ideal for us right now, I know that. I don’t want this to be a problem for us, but I also don’t want to let Jade down.” 

Josie glances between the two, as if trying to figure out something. “Why?” her voice comes out as a whisper.

“Because I know you would never let Alyssa down. Because everything you‘d do for her, I’d to it for Jade.” 

Josie gets it now. She wonders how she didn’t see it before. She knows both of them had learned to rely on each other about everything. She just didn’t figure out how deep their connection was. 

Josie nods in understanding. She sniffles, trying to hold back the tears she was about to let out. “So...um, that’s why you want Hope to do it.” 

Jade slightly nods. 

“I can’t say I’m not hurt but...okay.” 

Jade stares at her with wide eyes, while Hope still tries to read Josie’s face and what she really means by that. 

“Okay?” Jade asks.

“Yeah, it’s okay. Of course I want you to do this. I’m just hurt you didn’t ask me, but how can I compete if she’s your person and I’m just your sister and ex’s sister. It’s not like that counts for something, right?” Josie’s voice starts breaking and before they know, she’s crying like a baby. “I mean, you would only share a dog with me, while you would share a baby with her.” 

Her feelings are all over the place. But Hope knows better.

She smiles softly and places a hand on her arm, caressing her gently. “Baby, are you on your period again?” 

Josie keeps nodding while she brings a napkin to her nose and chokes her sobs behind it. 

“Ohww.” Both girls say in unison. Then they close Josie in a tight hug, squeezing her between them. “You know I love you Jo.” Jade places a kiss on her head. “If you wanted a baby with me so much you could’ve given me a chance back when I tried to seduce you.” 

“Oh shut up!” Josie’s voice shakes in between tears. 

“Baby stop crying...” Hope pleads. 

“I know... I know I shouldn’t be crying.” She starts to calm down. “But now I’m realizing that you’re going to be a mom.”

“I guess I am.” Jade smiles.

“That’s so fucked up. I should’ve been first between us all.”

Both girls start laughing, but then Josie’s attention turns to Hope, and cups her face in her hands. “And you...” She shakes her head and exhales deeply, “Who even does something like this?” 

Hope chuckles and places a sweet kiss on Josie’s lips. “So we’re okay?” 

“Yeah, of course we’re okay. I mean, will people think about us as if we’re some kind of freaks? Probably. But who cares? I don’t care about normal. I’m just happy my family is happy.” 

Jade squeezes the brunette in her arms and covers her cheek with kisses, until Josie can’t take it anymore and pulls away.

“That’s enough. So did you talk to the social worker?”

“We actually talked to you first. We needed you to be okay with this.” Hope says.

“Well I am! Go talk to her now. I have a surgery. Just come find me when you’re done, okay?” 

“Okay. Okay.” Hope smiles widely.

Josie gives her one last kiss, then kisses Jade’s cheek too, and rushes out of the room.

/ /

It’s been five days since Hope and Jade talked to the social worker, who decided to get all the informations she needed about them in order to decide if they were in fact fit to have the custody of the baby. But they knew that was going to take a while.

In the meantime, Lizzie was slowly going back to the previous routine. She even got to do a part of the procedure during a surgery instead of just watching. She tried to adjust to the fact that she might be a little behind with the rhythm and the progress her friends and her sister were doing, without pressuring herself for that. 

All her life had been a marathon to get there just as fast as her sister, wanting to prove everyone, but most of all herself, that she could do everything and reach levels of extraordinary despite her struggles and insecurities. Her mom always made sure she wouldn’t feel like she was an outsider, and she always supported her in doing what she felt most confident in. When she would start doubting about herself and her abilities, comparing herself to others, sometimes even her sister, her mom would tell her to look at it the right way. 

_I want to, I can, I am capable._

That’s what she used to say, what she keeps telling herself whenever everything seems to get out of control and she can’t place everything in order. Lately, that had been happening a lot, even though she was getting better. 

The first thing she had to do was not to blame and pressure herself for falling far behind in her internship. Until she had the chance to do her job and whatever case she was on would work out fine, she would feel content and happy with what she was doing. 

One thing that made her days was that Josie had been spending much more time with her, balancing her time with Hope and Lizzie. Sometimes they would all hang out together, sometimes it was just them and Alyssa, talking about their boy/girls problems. 

It was no secret that breaking up with Jade had hit hard on her. Probably Jade is the only one unable to see it, or maybe she just pretends they’re fine. Jade knew that Lizzie needed her space and time to get herself on track, but every time they would act friendly around each other, or worse, Jade would give more attention to anyone but her, it became more and more difficult to deal with her broken heart. 

It was all her fault. She broke not one, but two hearts. 

And in between her struggles she was also trying not to keep beating herself up for her mistake. But a day doesn’t go by where she wants to tell Jade how she misses her, not as a friend, not just as a presence in her life, but really misses her.

She adjusted until now, but she won’t deny she fears the moment Jade would walk in with someone new. 

She will probably always have that fear. 

But she won’t act on it. She doesn’t believe she can get Jade’s trust back. And looking back now, maybe all of the girl’s jealousy and doubts about Lizzie were not misplaced. That was also part of what made Lizzie feel like she had hit rock bottom, and she had to forgive herself for that. 

_‘Offer yourself the same forgiveness that you’ve shared with others. You are deserving.’_

That’s the second quote that helps her not to sink in guilt and shame. It’s probably the hardest part of the process, but she thinks she’s slowly getting there.

What had been way too weird to process is the fact that now Jade wants to adopt a baby. And Hope is doing it with her. 

It came as a shock for her too, but this didn’t make her jealous. Perhaps just sad, thinking that if she hadn’t ruined everything, probably she would be the one doing it with her. Not that she’s ever even thought about kids and a family...

Like Josie taught her to do: she would only focus on the present, then the next minute, and not scare herself with the pressure or the uncertainty of the future.

The only future she is interested in right in this moment is her sister’s. The only kind of future that she was excited about. That’s why she was in charge of the venue and all kinds of decorations, while Hope’s father would take care of the catering and Rebekah would think about the flowers.

Basically, everything was in their hands. Lizzie had even started calling it ‘A surprise wedding’. She doubts even Josie and Hope know or care about planning it all. As soon as the couple said that they were probably going to get home one day with rings on their fingers without no one knowing, Lizzie had thought it was best for her to take charge of the situation. 

Her sister wasn’t going to get married without the celebration she deserved. 

It’s half past ten at night when Lizzie and Hope are done watching the recording of a Bladder Cystectomy performed by Lizzie’s mom. She almost forgot she had all these dvd’s stored away in a box, and now they’ve been going through them for hours. Meanwhile, Josie and Jade were still working, and Hope figured it would be nice to bond more with the blonde twin.

She doesn’t think Lizzie hates her anymore (assuming that she did before), but they haven’t really spent much time alone together since she and Josie started officially dating. It’s probably about time they start doing that, although Hope can feel a little tension and awkwardness between them.

She wishes Lizzie could just press play and start the next recording. Work talk always does the trick.

But she doesn’t.

She gets up and before walking to the kitchen, she looks at Hope. “Do you want some hot milk? I feel like my throat is on fire.” 

“Yeah I’d like some, thanks.” Hope smiles weakly. 

Lizzie nods and walks to the kitchen, while Hope takes her phone to check if Josie had texted her back.

**Josie:**

I just witnessed (and performed a little) an Esophagectomy!! 

Can you hear the stink of success from where you are??

She laughs and texts her back.

**Hope:** I’m happy for you smelly cat

when are you coming home?

**Josie:** I’m stopping for drinks with Jade and Alyssa first

how is it going with Lizzie?

**Hope:** We’ve been watching your mom’s surgeries for three hours.

**Josie:** lol

**Hope:** that’s not funny

I hate you 

**Josie:** you love me

**Hope:** Do I? Do I really? *thinking little buddha*

**Josie:** shut up

I have to go, you two try to bond

bye 

Hope sighs and drops the phone on the couch again, while Lizzie comes back from the kitchen with two cups in her hands. 

“Here.” She hands a cup to Hope, who takes it carefully. 

“Thank you.”

A few more moments of silence go by, the both of them focusing on sipping slowly the hot milk, until Lizzie clears her throat and glances at Hope. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

Hope swallows quickly, but trying not to choke herself, and nods. “Of course.”

“I know there’s probably some sort of code you have and you won’t tell me much, but...does Jade... does she hate me?” 

Hope frowns and lowers her cup on her lap. “Why would she hate you?” 

Lizzie scoffs a laugh. “Why wouldn’t she?”

Hope sighs and shakes her head, placing the cup on the coffee table between them.

“She cares about you, Lizzie. Has it been hard on her? Yes, as I imagine it was for you, too. But she could never hate you. She’s been around you a lot more lately, hasn’t she?” 

“Yeah, but I never know how she really feels or what she’s thinking. When we were together it was like I could read her so well...” She smiles sadly, “But now every time I look at her I just feel... this emptiness in my chest.” 

Hope looks at her like a good sister-in-law would. “It’s okay to feel it. You miss her.” 

Lizzie stays silent for a while, reminiscing the times where she only needed Jade to fill whatever hole she felt in her chest.

Whenever she felt like everything was becoming too much and her mind started wandering places it shouldn’t go, Jade was there to keep her anchored. She never let her slip away and yet, Lizzie did just that. She lost her. 

“Do you think she’s better now? Without me?” 

It’s a new and vulnerable side of Lizzie that Hope has never seen before now, but she’s never been the one that gets uncomfortable when someone opens up to her. It actually feels nice to be trusted enough for people to talk to her like this.

“She’s adjusting to this now. I don’t think she’s better without you, because let’s face it, she was and probably still is crazy about you. But I also don’t know if she wants things to go back as they were before.” 

“Maybe one day.” She whispers to herself, but still loud enough for Hope to hear it. She plays with the pillow on her lap, then she meets Hope’s gaze again. “I’m glad she’s doing this with you.” 

Hope stirs on the couch and holds her breath for a moment before speaking, “You are?”

“Of course. I may have never said this, but even back when things between you and Josie were a roller coaster, I liked you. There were still times I wanted to run you over with my car, but you had an advantage.” 

“What was that?” Hope asks curiously.

“You were not Penelope Park.” She says with a hint of disgust, and both of them share a laugh. Then Lizzie goes on, “But also because I’ve never seen you doing something or saying something remotely meant to hurt someone else. You’re kind, thoughtful, dedicated, loyal and present. Not only for my sister, but for everyone around you. And I might be self-absorbed sometimes, but I’m not blind.” 

“You’re painting me as a saint.” Hope chuckles, “I have my flaws Lizzie, really.” 

“I didn’t say you don’t have flaws. For example, you never wash your cups after you use them. That’s a little selfish.” Lizzie points out.

Hope laughs and nods in agreement. “You’re right. Sorry about that.” 

“I would have done that too, you know?” 

Lizzie’s voice is soft and sad, and Hope knows she’s not talking about her anymore. 

“Why don’t you try to tell her?” She pauses. Lizzie meets her eyes and she speaks again, “That you’d want things the way they were.” 

“Because I don’t think it could work.” She sighs tiredly, “Not right now, at least. She’s been understanding and supportive of me, but I also gave her too many reasons not to trust me. Maybe we just need to grow on our own for now.” 

Hope nods and leans her hand on Lizzie’s to comfort her. “The right time will come, trust me.” 

Lizzie smiles and exhales deeply. “Well, should we watch another one?” 

“Just one.” She agrees.

Two hours later, Lizzie wakes up on the couch. The tv is shut, the lights are off, and she has a blanket covering her. She figures she must have fallen asleep during the footage, and it’s now almost two in the morning.

She gets up and walks to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water before going to bed. Her eyes casually fall on the empty sink.

She looks on the shelves to her right, seeing the cups she and Hope used before cleaned and back to their place. 

She smiles to herself and then walks upstairs. It doesn’t take long for her to fall back asleep. 

/ /

Hope and Rafael finds themselves in the same closed space after a week from the revelation of his secret. 

Well, they actually work in the same closed space every day, but not so close until now, in the elevator. 

Rafael can tell that Hope is relaxed and that means she doesn’t want to kill him, so that’s enough to relax him too next to her. But he still feels like there is something unsaid. Hope always has something to say.

Back when they were in high school and med school, Hope has always been his compass. Sure she had her fare share of stupid behavior along with him. Hope Mikaelson was once a heartbreaker too. She was not at all who she is today, and yet somehow she was always the wiser one between the too. Rafael had the tendency to fuck up way more, but luckily for him, Hope always had his back. 

It’s been a long time since he and Hope had a face to face talk, and even though they were technically still friends, they haven’t really been acting as such. But he gets it. He never expected them to just go back to the way they were, and if there was even the slightest shred of hope for them to do that, now he doubted she would ever think of looking at him the same way. 

“I feel like I should...say something, you know, just to avoid any kind of awkwardness again.” Hope says.

He almost can’t believe she’s talking to him, but she probably knows that he’s too much of a coward to face her about this.

“I didn’t expect you to talk directly to me, so I talked to Maya.” She adds, glancing at him from time to time, while he keeps staring at the elevator doors. “I can’t say that this didn’t shock me...for the second time,” Rafael holds his breath. _Oh God._ “but to be honest, I’m way too happy with how my life is right now to have even the slightest bit of anger towards you or her. I don’t know if you two will work and for the sake of this baby I hope you do...” 

“Just...get to the but.” He suddenly says, interrupting her. 

Hope raises her eyebrow and sighs. “But you should be honest with yourself and Liv about your feelings for her. I’ve been in her shoes. It’s not easy feeling like you just sold your heart out just to have it crushed without an explanation.” 

Rafael nods in understanding. She’s right. Hope is always right. He suddenly smiles to himself, but Hope sees it and looks at him with a questioning face. “What?” 

“I missed this. You telling me how to fix my mess.”

Hope smiles too. “I really Hope it’s the last time I have to do this though. You might want to start passing my wisdom to your kid.” 

“You can do that yourself.” He says, finally looking at her without fear. 

Are they really sharing a moment? He almost can’t believe it. 

She smiles back. The very unique and sweetest smile Hope Mikaelson can bless you with. The one that makes you feel right; the one that makes you think everything can and will be okay. Hope had that power. 

“Okay.” 

The elevator doors open and Hope steps outside, but Rafael calls at her again before she can disappear. 

“Are you really adopting a baby with Montgomery?” He asks incredulous.

“Are you really having a baby with my ex wife?” She returns back, a crooked smile on her face. 

Rafael laughs and nods softly. “Touché.” 

“Have a good day Raf.” She hums loudly. 

/ / 

It’s a big day for all interns, because being almost in their third ear of internship means that they slowly have to fly out of the nest and do things themselves. There won’t always be a teacher there for them, helping them and guiding them through it all. They have to become the teachers eventually. 

Josie and Alyssa are probably the ones more excited about this day, even though it won’t be their first solo surgery, but today of all days, it feels like a great one. 

“I have great faith in you all. I can because I chose you, I trained you. I've watched you work. I know what you can do. That's why today is different.” Dr. Bennett says, glancing at Josie, Alyssa, Lizzie, Jade, Liv and Sebastian, who only nod and stare at her with bated breath. 

“And I'm gonna keep the residents busy, very busy. So that'll give you time to put your best foot forward. You are attendings today. But don’t tempt your luck, okay?” Bennett adds. 

As Bennett leaves, each one of them is assigned to their cases and fate wants that Josie is on Hope’s case that day. The only problem is, she has to compete with Sebastian. 

“Who gets to cut?” Josie asks following Hope around. 

“I want to get a look at both of you with a drill before I decide who gets the shunt. Skills lab seems like a fair way to go.” Hope says. 

“Competing with the girlfriend? Not really a fair game.” Sebastian complains. 

“Huh- Fiancée. Titles are important.” Josie snaps at him. She cares about titles. 

He rolls his eyes. “Even worse.” 

Hope suddenly stops walking and turns around to face the two. “This is not a game for me. It’s a test. I’ll be putting that woman’s life in the hands of one of you and I want to be sure you’ll do a good job. So I will be fair and square with my decision.” 

“You’re lucky you can boss me at work. I hate when you get all serious and professional.” Josie crosses her arms on her chest, frowning at Hope in disappointment. 

Hope tries and fails to keep herself from smirking in amusement, then she walks away, while Josie and Sebastian head to the lab to practice their cut. 

Liv walks in her patient’s room holding the chart in her hands. On her own. No one supervising her or telling her what to do. It feels kind of empowering.

“Maddie, Hi. I’m Dr. Saltzman. Just checking in to see how you’re feeling.” 

“Where's the other doctor ... Dr. Claire?”

“Oh, I'll... I'll be checking on you today. How's your knee? Is the pain any better?” Liv starts examining her knee. 

Maddie looks at Liv almost as if she’s afraid Liv could stick a scalpel in her throat at any moment. 

_Seriously?_

“Sorry but you look really young... doesn’t exactly inspire confidence.”

Liv stares blankly at her for a moment before speaking. “Um, I memorized your chart. Your facture was fixed with elevation and percutaneous screw fixture. You are allergic to penicillin, currently on blood thinners to make sure you don't develop d. V. T. , and if you would just talk to me about your knee, then I could adjust your pain meds and be out of your way.”

“Wow. You’re good. I take it back.” Maddie says amazed. 

Liv smiles proudly of herself, then proceeds to hear what Maddie has to say. 

/ /

“Okay, you have 30 seconds. If neither one of you breaks the membrane, I'm gonna have to judge you on precision, so make sure your initials are clean and clear.” Hope instructs. 

Josie and Sebastian are sitting on two different tables, both of them intent in engraving their names on an egg with the drill. 

“Eat my egg, Parker.” Sebastian says, still keeping his focus on his engraving.

“Shut up!” Josie yells at him, kind of struggling with her focus instead.

“Four... three... two... one, time.” Hope raises her gaze from the watch and walks over Josie’s table. “Let’s see, how did you do... huh, not bad baby, not bad.” 

“Thank you.” Josie makes a little bow with her head and then peeks over Sebastian’s table.

“Let’s see what you got.” Hope walks over his table. “Wow.” Hope’s eyes widens in shock, and Josie tries to peek more.

“You wrote your full name?!” Josie yells. “Now you’re just showing off!” 

“I’m sorry Parker, I can’t hear you while I’m drilling a scalp.” He teases her with his annoying smirk, making her even more frustrated.

“Hope!” Josie looks at the neuro surgeon, who glances at her blankly, then Hope looks back at Sebastian. “Congratulations, you have the surgery.” 

Josie groans in frustration and abandons herself on the chair under her. 

_Bummer._

/ /

Hope walks into Liv’s patient room, finding the blonde rushing around the girl in bed. 

“Hey. You paged me?”

Liv is visibly agitated, but Hope chooses not to comment on it. “Something's wrong. First she had a headache, and then...”

“I can't see. Everything is blurry.” The young woman says. 

“Okay, look right here.” Hope passes the flashlight in front of her. 

“The whole left side of my body feels weird. I thought it was because I fell asleep on it, but it's tingling.” She explains.

Hope only keeps examining her silently, focusing on the symptoms and try to come to a conclusion. “Okay, squeeze my hand.” 

“She had knee surgery. What can be wrong now?” Liv asks.

“I don't know yet, but she fell from a motorbike, I won’t exclude something else might be wrong, so I'm gonna order a head C.T.” Hope says. 

“Okay, I’m on it.” 

Liv wheels the woman out of the room, while Hope walks to her -Sebastian’s- surgery. 

/ /

Hope walks into the O.R. with mask, gloves and scrub cap on. All is ready, the patient is asleep and Sebastian is staring from above, probably contemplating and panicking inside. 

Hope glances at him. Her eyes are enough to read her entire face, even if covered by a mask. “The minute I hand you this drill, you're on your own. This is a real brain. Got it?” 

Sebastian nods in understanding and exhales deeply. “Got it.” 

“Good. Let’s start.” 

Josie, in the meantime is watching from the distance, because apparently it’s all she gets to do today. She’s not mad at Hope though, she’s actually disappointed in herself. 

But also a little mad at Sebastian.

He proceeds with the first steps of the procedure, until a nurse tells Hope there’s a call for her from Liv. Hope doesn’t move her eyes from the open scalp and Sebastian hands, completely focused on not allowing him to fuck up.

“Dr. Parker, go help her.” Hope says.

Josie frowns in confusion, but she doesn’t question Hope’s decision because making herself useful instead of doing nothing and watch Sebastian pull off his surgery is far better. 

When she walks into the room, her sister is panicking. 

“Where’s Mikaelson?! I paged Mikaelson.”

“She’s in surgery. What’s wrong?” Josie looks at the monitors. 

“She... she was fine all day, fine, and then ten minutes ago, she started complaining of headache, blurred vision and tingling on the left side of her body. I- I ordered a stat head C.T. and-“ 

“Is she on blood thinners?” Josie asks.

“Yes! For d. V. T. Prophylaxis.” 

“She's got a brain bleed. Let's book an O.R.”

“How didn't I see this coming?” Liv panics even more. 

“You did everything right Liv. But now we have to get her in the O.R.” Josie says, both of them wheeling the bed out of the room. 

When they finally get in the O.R., Hope is still not there, and neither of them can do it without Hope. There’s no other neuro surgeon in the hospital beside her, so Josie asks a nurse to call her. Josie stands above the woman’s head with her hands in the air, careful not to touch anything unsterile.

“Dr. Mikaelson, it’s Dr. Parker. Where are you?” Josie‘s tone is stern and demanding. Sometimes it’s difficult not to refer to Hope as she would want to. 

“I’m operating. Sebastian had a little bump in the road. I had to jump in.” Hope says, her eyes focused on the open brain under her eyes. 

Josie wants to laugh, but she knows it’s not the time nor the place, so she just explains Hope her situation.

“I've got a post-op ortho patient on d.V.T. Prophylaxis with a subdural hematoma. Hope, she's got a blown pupil.” Josie urges. 

“I'm not gonna be there for a while, so you gotta take care of it yourself.” 

Josie’s eyes widens in shock. “What?!”

“You wanted a solo surgery today. Now's your chance. Don’t screw up.” She says. 

The call ends and Josie and Liv share a look before Josie gets herself together and focuses on the woman on the table. 

“I need loops and a headlight.” Josie says. 

“Here you go, doctor.” 

“Okay, scalpel.”

“Jo? Say it.” Liv says. And Josie glances at her in confusion for a moment. “Say what she always says. It‘s for good luck.” 

Josie smiles weakly and takes a deep breath. “It’s a beautiful day to save lives.” 

/ / 

“Did you just stop that bleeder?” Liv says, looking at her sister pulling it off amazingly.

“Uh-huh.” Josie keeps her gaze on the open scalp.

“How did you even know how to do that?” 

Hope rushes in the O.R. after thirty minutes. “Okay. Sorry I'm late.” She breathes heavily. 

“That's okay. Liv made a good call.” Josie says. “I've got it under control.”

Hope peeks over the woman’s brain and smiles proudly as she sees Josie succeeding her next step as if she was a professional. She didn’t doubt her for a moment, not even when she lost the surgery to Sebastian. Hope knows better than underestimate her Josie. 

“Yes you do.” She mutters, mostly to herself. She knows no one’s heard her. 

Hope doesn’t have to say anything, because every time she’s about to involuntarily guide Josie to the next step (it’s the force of habit), Josie is already about to do it. So she only enjoys the view. 

Probably the best one she’ll ever get to see. 

/ /

Alyssa, Josie and Lizzie are in the living room, each of them spread across the couch, leaving room not even for Arlo, who was sitting quietly on the floor but very close to Lizzie. 

Since Jade had moved out and Lizzie had her episode, finding comfort in their dog’s company was the only good thing of many days for her. Inevitably, Arlo had been spending way more time with Lizzie, growing fond of the girl, but still missing his favorite girl, Jade. 

The girls have been chilling for a while now, coming back home after the extenuating but also successful day for the three of them. 

Liv is the only one missing, since she had to go home to her dad, and Josie didn’t dare to ask why. Her dad was not part of her favorite topics, especially after what happened with Lizzie. 

Actually, Liv was not the only one missing. Hope and Jade were nowhere to be found either, but the last thing Hope said to Josie was that she was going to bring Pizza as soon as she was done at the hospital, so until then, they could either wait for her and starve or start with the drinks.

They chose the second option.

“I honestly don’t get how you were even friends to begin with with that guy.” Josie says, then she drinks a sip of her beer, eyes on the Tv.

“He’s actually not that bad when you get to know him.” Lizzie says. 

“Yeah...no.” Alyssa shakes her head in disapproval.

“Do you still talk to him?” 

“I haven’t talked to him since what happened. He probably thinks I’m some freak.” She rolls her eyes and looks back at the Tv.

“You’re not a freak. You’re my sister.” Josie states.

“I feel like that can only make her feel worse.” Alyssa says, causing Lizzie to laugh. 

Josie‘s jaw drops in shock, then she yells at both girls. “Hey!” 

“Sorry Jo, but she’s right. I mean yes, people are in awe because of how good you are, but you have a reputation.” Lizzie says.

“What reputation?!” 

“That you’re kind of...mean.” Alyssa says.

“And rude.” Lizzie adds.

“And overbearing.” 

“That’s...that’s not true!” Josie is utterly shocked. How could the entire hospital think that about her? She’s always nice to everyone, except the other interns maybe, but still, she’s not a bully. 

“We know, but we’re your family. And people are mostly just jealous anyway.” Lizzie says.

“Seriously where is Hope? I’m starving!” Alyssa groans in frustration while getting up to open the fridge, hoping to fill her stomach with something other than beer in the meantime.

“I’m not even hungry anymore. I’m just tired.” Josie rests her head on the pillow, her eyes small and sleepy.

“Is it how it feels to do brains? You’re out after one orgasm?” Alyssa asks curiously.

Lizzie laughs, while Josie raises her head to look at her best friend. “For the record, it was a very intense hour and a half. Brains are harder than sex.” 

“Then Hope must be a Goddess at this point.” Alyssa says. 

“She is, trust me.” Josie says, hiding her smirk behind the pillow next to her. 

At the same moment, the front door opens and they sit down and peek over the corridor to see who that is. 

Josie and Lizzie see Hope holding two Pizzas and who must be Jade following right after. Hope waits for Jade to come in and stalls for a moment, whispering something Josie’s ears can never reach. 

“Bring in the food, Mikaelson!” Alyssa protests walking towards the couch.

Hope tries to catch her breath while taking off her coat and holding the Pizzas altogether, then she makes her way to the living room. “Sorry guys, we were stuck at the hospital a little longer. But here is the Pizza.” She hands them to Alyssa, who stuffs her mouth with a bite within the next two seconds.

“Jade? Are you coming or not?” Lizzie asks, still not seeing the girl.

“Yeah, um, actually we would like you guys to meet someone.” Hope smiles excitedly and nervously, while Jade slowly appears from behind her. 

As soon as they see the tiniest and cutest human in the room, the reactions are split between “Awws” and “oh my God”, or both. Jade is smiling happily, while all three girls rush to take a closer look to the baby she’s holding. 

“Girls, meet Joy.” She whispers every word, almost scared that she might wake her up. 

“How did this happen?” Josie asks.

“Is she okay now?” Alyssa asks too.

“The social worker was impressed with-“ Hope glances at Lizzie for a second, “our files and our interview. She said she was sure Joy would be safe and loved with us. And we did all the tests we had to do and seems like she’s healthy and ready to grow on her own like any baby.” She slips her pinkie in the small hand and smiles happily at the view. 

Josie scoffs and smiles emotionally. “She’s beautiful.” 

“Yes she is.” Jade hums. 

“You’re a...mom.” Alyssa says it with uncertainty, as if trying to process the weird news. 

“And I’m an auntie! I can’t believe I’m an auntie!” Josie says excitedly. “I didn’t think this could bring tears to my eyes.”

Hope smiles and brings her closer, placing a sweet kiss on her temple. As Jade, Alyssa and Josie sit on the couch completely captured and only intent on staring at a small piece of art, hunger gone and forgotten already, Lizzie walks to the kitchen. Hope, who always sees it all, quietly follows her. 

Lizzie is leaning against the sink with her cup of tea in her hands. She’s trying to cut out drinking since her episode, and with the stronger meds she was under she couldn’t drink even if she wanted to. 

Hope leans against the counter, facing the girl in front of her. Lizzie seems to be waiting for Hope to say something, and Hope knows Lizzie won’t say anything unless she does.

“Thank you. For the letter of recommendation.” 

Lizzie seems to tense against the sink, straightening her back and lowering her gaze on the floor at the same time.

“She doesn’t know that... you sent it though. She thinks Josie did.” 

Lizzie finally meets Hope’s eyes, relaxing a little, and nods softly. “Good. Okay.” 

They stay silent for a while, and Hope moves to lean against the sink next to her, both of them admiring the trio - plus one - sitting on the couch, with smile on their faces.

“She’s happy. Like... real happy.” A sudden smile grows on the blonde’s face, and she struggles to keep a tear from falling, but Hope doesn’t seem to notice that. “She’s going to be so good at this.” 

Hope smiles, keeping her eyes on the girls in the living room. 

“Yeah, I think so.”


	37. Chapter 37

Some things change in ways you would never expect them to. The house you were living in suddenly gets full. The roommates you were forced to take in become your family. And the one-night stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life. 

Sometimes life takes bad turns and that turns, turn out to be good in the end. Although it’s not really the end. It’s a new start, a big one.

Josie rests her head on Hope’s chest, while the auburn-haired girl holds the brunette against her, still half asleep. Josie, on the other hand, has been fully awake for a while now. She keeps looking at the ring on her finger and playing with it, slipping it on and off, while her mind wanders a thousands miles per hour. 

Hope stirs under her, her hot breath blowing in Josie’s hair. The scent of camomille and vanilla it’s the first thing that makes Hope open her eyes, only wanting to take more of Josie’s sweet scent. It gives her a sense of peace. 

By what Josie is doing, she doesn’t think the brunette feels so much at peace right now. Josie has been lost in thoughts a lot in the last few weeks, but Hope knows she has nothing to do with it. At least Josie assured her that they were okay, even though she still hasn’t opened up about why she’s being so quiet. 

“Jo?” Hope’s voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. She should’ve probably cleared her throat before speaking. 

Josie raises her gaze just to catch a glimpse of Hope, not sure if she had heard correctly or if she was just hearing voices in her head -she has been hearing those a lot lately- then she rests her head back on Hope’s chest. 

“Good morning babe.” Josie whispered back, her eyes still on her hand.

“I have to ask. Are you having second thoughts about...us?” Hope asks. Maybe she’s too direct, but to be honest she doesn’t know how to ask this. They’re getting married tomorrow, it’s not like there’s much time left to be subtle about it.

Josie raises her head to face Hope completely this time. She frowns at the girl under her, while Hope keeps looking at her expectantly. 

“What? Why would I?”

“Is it too much pressure on you? I know Lizzie has been giving you a hard time, trust me, she gives me panic attacks sometimes. But I mean, we can get married on a post it for all I care. It doesn’t matter where or when.” 

Josie bursts out laughing to her face, shaking her head and thinking how cute Hope sounds when she becomes insecure about something. “I’m not having second thoughts, Hope. I love you.” 

Hope smiles softly and then pulls a strand of hair that was covering Josie’s face behind her ear. Then she cups her face in her hands, rubbing her thumbs gently on her cheeks to comfort her. “Then what is it?” 

Josie lowers her gaze on Hope’s chest, her fingers playing the collar of Hope’s shirt now, feeling far too vulnerable to talk about what’s really bothering her. 

“I don’t want to talk about it because I don’t want to be thinking about it in the first place.” 

She finally looks up at Hope, whose expression doesn’t change. 

“But you are. You’ve been lost in thoughts for days now, you know I can see that. So if you’re failing at not-thinking-about-whatever-it-is, why don’t you talk to me?” 

Josie keeps silent for a moment more. Hope is right, she has been failing not to think about it, and it’s not like she wasn’t planning on sharing it with her, she just wanted to wait for the thought to fade by itself. But that’s not happening at this point. 

She takes a deep breath before speaking again. 

“I’ve been...thinking about my dad.” She meets Hope’s gentle gaze, which doesn’t falter. Not even a hint of surprise or shock, almost like she was expecting it. Her silence allows Josie to go on. “I realized I have no one to walk me down the aisle. I remember talking about this with Landon...” She smiles softly, her cheeks flushed, “He said he was going to walk me down the aisle one day. And he strongly believed I would be marrying you.”

Hope smiled along with her and playfully pinched her nose. “He’d be happy to know he was right about that.”

“I’m sure he is.” They stare at each other for a while, until Josie breaks eye contact again, and starts talking to Hope’s chest. “I don’t know what to do.” 

“Do you want to see him?” 

“After what happened with Lizzie I swore I wasn’t going to even mention his name anymore. But right now I don’t know. That’s why I shouldn’t even be thinking about it. I mean how would Lizzie feel? It just doesn’t feel right.” 

“But not telling him does?” 

Josie remains stuck with her mouth half open, unsure of how to answer that. “I don’t know.” She whispers.

Hope keeps silent, only staring at the brunette’s pout and her fingers still playing nervously with her shirt. Hope doesn’t dare to judge Josie or tell her what’s wrong or not. She believes in Josie’s motives and she knows her pain. The fact that she tries so hard not to care only shows Hope how much she actually still cares. 

Surprisingly, Josie speaks again. 

“And then there’s my mom.” 

At that, Hope frowns a little. “Your mom?” 

“I’ve been dreaming about her. She’s always there just...looking at me, as if she’s there waiting for me to do something. It’s kind of creepy, honestly. But she just keeps standing there...it’s like she wants me to understand what she wants. How am I supposed to do that if she doesn’t talk to me?” 

“Maybe that’s it. She wants you to talk to your dad.” 

Josie sighs heavily and drops her head on Hope’s chest, groaning in frustration against her. Hope stares at her in amusement, but when Josie quickly raises her head again with a pout on her face, she instantly softens again. 

“It will be a disaster.” Josie whines. 

“I’ll come with you if you want.” 

Josie shakes her head and sighs again. “No, I have to do this alone. We have the rest of our lives to do things in symbiosis.” 

Josie gets up while Hope chuckles lightly, her eyes following the brunette all around the room, unable to stop looking at her.

“Josie?” 

The brunette rests her hand on the door knob and turns around to look at her before getting into the bathroom, waiting for Hope to talk.

Instead, she only keeps staring at her. 

Josie chuckles, starting to feel intimidated under Hope’s gaze. No matter how soft she was, sometimes Josie would still feel like that by the way Hope looked at her.

“What?” She smiles. 

“Nothing. Just taking a good look at my future wife.”

Josie scoffs a laugh and rolls her eyes. “Enough?” 

“Not nearly.” 

“You’re a sap, Hope Mikaelson. Those boxing lessons aren’t making you any tougher.” 

Hope opens her mouth in offense and instantly sits on the bed, pointing a finger at the brunette. “You said my biceps were harder than metal!” 

“Your biceps are, and I really really really really appreciate that. You, on the other hand...” She smirks.

“Just get out of here.” Hope dismisses her and gets up to walk towards the closet, decided to ignore the brunette. 

But Josie starts laughing loudly and suddenly jumps from one side of the room to the other, attacking Hope from behind her back and starting to tickle her on her hips. 

“You don’t ever turn your back on me! Did you hear me? I’m not...going anywhere..” She keeps tickling the auburn-haired girl, who is almost choking in her laughter and uselessly trying to get out of Josie’s grasp. 

“Josie stop! Just stop!” 

Unable to keep herself standing, Hope falls back on the bed while Josie places herself on top of her, her legs spread around Hope, blocking her hips down and now her hands. Josie lowers her back to get closer to the girl under her, who stares at her in adoration and out of breath.

“I’m never gonna stop.” She whispers menacingly.

Hope smiles. “Is that a threat?” 

“It depends on whether you’re okay with that or not.” 

“And what if I’m not?” 

Josie lowers a little more and brings her lips under Hope’s neck, starting to place a trail of soft and wet kisses, all while whispering against her skin. “I don’t think you really want me to stop...” 

Hope squeezes her eyes closed and lets out a sudden moan of pleasure. “Yeah I- I didn’t mean this...”

Suddenly the door bursts out open and both girls instantly turn their attention to who’s staring at them with a dead look. 

“I was just getting her to sleep and then I hear you-“ The blonde points at the small neuro surgeon trapped under the brunette’s body, “-laughing and screaming like a two-year-old. Are you a two-year-old, Hope?” Jade holds Joy in her arms who is still crying and restless, while Josie gets up and finally frees Hope, who sits on the bed and looks at the baby in her best friend’s arms. 

Hope sighs. “She didn’t sleep all night? Again?” 

“Maybe an hour? I don’t know what she wants anymore, I did everything. I changed her, fed her, tried every baby positions to get her to sleep...” 

Hope walks to Jade and takes Joy from her arms, rocking her gently in her arms. “I’ll stay with her today.” 

“Don’t you have surgeries?” Josie asks.

“Dr. Fell can take care of it. I’ll stay with Joy and maybe I’ll ask my aunt to check on her.” 

Jade sighs in relief and places a hand on Hope’s shoulder. “Thank you. I’ll go get dressed.”

Jade leaves the room while Hope walks around with Joy in her arms, who had suddenly gotten quiet. Josie stares at the scene, smiling at the softness of it all. Hope seems to notice because Josie was basically standing there staring at them, while she should’ve been in the bathroom already.

“What?” 

“You calmed her. She must’ve missed you tonight.” 

Hope frowns and chuckles softly. “No. She always sleeps with Jade. Sometimes she takes naps with me but it’s not that.”

“Of course it’s that, Hope. Just because she’s a baby it doesn’t mean she’s not aware of who takes care of her the most. It’s you and Jade. And sometimes she will want you and not her. It’s how kids work.” 

Hope keeps frowning in confusion and shakes her head in denial, staring down at the baby in her arms. “No.. she was just too tired. It’s not that.” 

Josie keeps smiling at Hope’s denial. She can’t believe she’s so clueless. 

“Hope, you should realize that you’re her mother too. It’s not just a signature on papers. You are her other mom.” She spells the words slowly as to make them sound more convincing. Then she finally goes to the bathroom, leaving Hope standing there with her heart beating fast. And a sleeping angel in her arms.

/ /

“So Josie decided to go talk to dad? Really?” Liv asks in shock.

Lizzie and Alyssa stands in front of her. Alyssa is writing down a chart, while Lizzie is just casually resting her back against the nurses desk. 

“Yeah, it’s her wedding and if for some reason she decides to forgive dad I won’t stand in the way of that.” 

“But have you talked to him since...since you..” 

“No, I haven’t. I probably should. My psychiatrist says it would be good to make peace with everything that led me to it.”

“Let’s see how it goes for Josie today. I wouldn’t want to have to pick up both Parkers sister’s pieces by the end of the day.” Alyssa says.

“Aww. You’d pick up my broken pieces? And they say you’re the new Nazi.” Lizzie smiles tenderly at the raven haired girl.

“Damn right I am.” 

Both Liv and Lizzie chuckles, all three of them walk in the hallways by each other’s side.

“Don’t forget to come by earlier tomorrow, I have your dress.” Lizzie says.

“You have everyone’s dresses.” Alyssa points out.

“I modeled. I care about fashion, okay? And I’m not gonna let you gypsies with no fashion style ruin my sister’s wedding photo album.” 

“Maybe you should’ve been a wedding planner.” Alyssa suggests.

Lizzie gives her a pointed look. “Way to preserve my very low self-confidence on my life choices, Lyss.” 

“I’m kidding, dummie.” Alyssa shoulders her gently. 

“Hey, do you guys have dates?” Liv asks.

“Why do we need to bring dates on a wedding? We’re not the ones getting married.” Alyssa says.

“I’m not saying it because I’m single now, but she’s right. We don’t need dates. We’ll go on our own and we’ll walk down the catwalk-“ The two girls stare at the blonde in the middle, “-I mean aisle, like the three strong independent women that we are. We don’t need a lover by our side.” 

“Or we could be each other’s dates.” Liv suggests.

“Huh.” Lizzie is thoughtful. 

“Need I remind you two are sisters?”

Lizzie gives Alyssa a dead look, and the raven haired girl raises her hands in defense. “Fine by me.” 

“Good. At least I won’t have to be sad because I’m alone and Raf will be with Maya and his future baby.” She says with a hint of annoyance in her voice. 

“Except you’ll still be alone.” Alyssa says. 

“The entire hospital will be there. It’s a big ceremony. You might find someone interesting.” Lizzie tells her sister.

“Oh great, we’ll have bunnies pairing around in the woods at this point.” Alyssa says.

The two girls share a laugh and then Bennett approaches them in a rush. 

“Chang, Parker, Saltzman, we have eight trauma patients coming in, car accident. They were all sticked up in a SUV. Come with me.” 

As they arrive in trauma, the paramedics wheel in the three patients one by one.

“Matthew Green, 22. He was in the driver's seat.”

“What are his injuries?” Bennett asks.

“He sustained chest contusions. Otherwise, vital signs were stable.” 

“Okay, Chang you take him. Page Dr. Lee.” 

Alyssa rolls her eyes but does as she’s asked to. 

“Rebecca Wells, 21-year-old restrained backseat passenger. Vitals stable en route. Some shortness of breath, but good breath sounds.” 

“I’m fine, really. I can talk! See? Please, can I see how Matthew is?”

“They’re going to take care of him Rebecca, don’t worry.” Lizzie reassures her.

“What about my sister? Where’s Callie? And Jane?” The girl asks, still agitated.

“They will all be taken care of. Now please lay down.” Lizzie asks her gently. “Are they all this bad?” She whispers to Bennett.

“These are the healthy ones compared to the rest.” 

Lizzie exhales deeply and then focuses back on her patient. 

Apparently today is going to be full. And there’s only one person who can finish up everything there still was to do for the wedding.

/ /

Josie stands on her dad’s house porch, unable to bring herself to knock. She doesn’t even know what she’s going to say, or if he even wants to see her. He probably hates her. It’s not like she’s been a welcoming daughter since he moved to Mystic Falls. 

Maybe it’s a bad idea. She doesn’t really need him to walk her down the aisle after all. Anyone can do that, right? Maybe she can ask Rafael to do it. Or one of Hope’s uncles. Why put herself through this? 

Oh, right. Her mom.

Her mom is literally haunting her in her dreams, probably wanting Josie to fix things with her dad. But does she know what he did? She should know. 

She lets out yet another deep breath, she shakes her head and turns around. She stays still for a moment more, then she starts walking down the stairs. 

She‘s leaving. She’s definitely leaving- 

_No._

She has to clear everything up. She has to understand things without attacking him. She wants to listen.

She turns back around and walks up the stairs and at the front door again. She finally knocks on the door three times and then patiently waits for him to open.

When he does, his shock is as clear as the day, and Josie couldn’t agree more. She’s shocked too for being there in the first place. 

“Josette.” 

“Hi.” She simply says.

“Um, what... what are you doing here?” 

“I needed to talk to you. Is this a bad time?” 

She studies him for a moment, noticing the weird color in his face. It looks too much like yellow, and for a moment she doubts that he’s okay. 

“No, not at all. Um, please, come in.” He opens the door wide and Josie shyly walks in. 

“Can I get you anything?” He asks while leading her in the living room. 

“No, I’m good, thank you.” She hints a smile and then sits on the couch, and Alaric sits on the opposite sofa, facing her. 

But Josie can see the pain in his face and also by the way he moves. He looks weak, dehydrated and absent, but desperately trying to stay present for the sake of his daughter sitting there for the first time in forever.

“You don’t look so good.” Josie says. 

Alaric hints a small smile and shrugs. “It’s okay. Nothing to worry about.” He dismisses.

Josie simply nods and accepts the answer devoid of details. They keep silent for a while, Josie only looks around her and notices many photos of him and Olivia, and someone else who must be her brother, and hers too. It’s actually the first time Josie sees him. 

Alaric suddenly brings her out of her thoughts and clears his throat before speaking again, capturing her attention.

“What... what brings you here?” 

Josie stumbles between words a few times, but then finally decides to just follow the flow of her thoughts and let it all out. 

“I guess... I guess mom did.” He looks at her in both surprise and confusion, and she quickly goes on to explain herself. “It’s hard to explain, but um... I think she wanted me to come talk to you. Well actually that’s not the only reason I’m here. I...I’m getting married, tomorrow.” She finally releases a breath.

His eyes widen again in surprise. “Oh.” 

“Yeah, I know. I probably shouldn’t have come here just a day before but...”

“No no, it’s okay. I’m... I’m still glad you did.” He smiles gently and stares at her almost with tenderness. Josie is not used to that. She just avoids looking at him, because it makes her too uncomfortable. 

Affection? From her father? No, too much.

“Actually I wasn’t expecting to see you at all. And well, when I saw you I thought you were here to yell at me. Anything but this.” 

Josie nodded and pressed her lips together nervously. “Yeah well, that would be something to talk about too.” 

Suddenly Alaric’s face falls and Josie can tell he goes from yellow to pale, but she pretends she doesn’t see it. 

“I didn’t come to you sooner because I didn’t want to come to you at all, but now that I’m here I might as well get all the pebbles out of my shoe.”

“Josie...” 

“Why did you tell her those things? I mean, you were drunk, sure, but make your own daughter feel like she’s worthless and defective? What kind of father does that?”

Alaric lowers his head in shame before speaking. “No father does that.” Then he looks up to meet Josie’s gaze. His eyes are piercing now. “But I’m not your father, am I?” 

Josie swallows down with difficulty, now she’s the one lowering her head, but not in shame, never in shame. In fact, she’s quick to face him again. “That was on me. I said that. Lizzie did nothing but try to mend things with you, but you pushed her away. Why?”

“You’ve seen me, Josie. I’m no father.”

She frowns. “That’s odd, because Olivia says you were always a good dad to her. So I’m asking you again, why couldn’t you be the same to us?”

“My only defense is that Olivia came at a time in my life when I was in a better place. Before leaving you mother... I wasn’t myself, I never were. I had lost everything, to take care of you two and allow you mother to shine. I gave up on everything for her and she never appreciated that or me.”

Josie scoffs. “When did you ever take care of us? Seline was always with us when mom wasn’t. While you were somewhere in the house drinking yourself to sleep.” 

Alaric keeps quiet and nods sadly. 

“You took it on us. You were mad at mom and you just decided you didn’t wanna care?” Josie frowns. “Is that your excuse?”

He looks at her with a pleading gaze. “I don’t want to make excuses for my behavior anymore, Josie. I know I failed you and Lizzie, and I’m sorry about everything I did and said. I don’t know what else to do or tell you...”

“Do you care now?” She suddenly asks, for the first time with tears in her eyes. She tries to keep her composure, not let her voice break, but it’s hard. “Do you care enough to come to my wedding tomorrow?” 

He thinks about it for maybe half a second, but Josie perceives time faster somehow, probably because she’s halfway through crying and she doesn’t want to do that in front of him. 

So she gets up before he can say something, doubting he ever will, and she glances at him one last time before walking out the door. 

She breathes in the fresh air and keeps walking, and walking, and walking. Her car seems so far away now and her legs are too weak to walk. She needs to sit again. She needs to breathe. 

She finally reaches her car and sits behind the wheel, breathing in and out, trying to calm herself down. She brings out her phone and dials a number, calling the only person she knows would be available to keep her from losing it completely. 

/ /

After a few hours of sleep, Joy woke up crying and hungry, so Hope fed her as first thing. Not used to staying home for that long, Hope decided she would stop by the hospital and maybe say hi to her aunts, so she dressed Joy up nicely - and by nicely, it means she made her a baby-sized body with Yogi’s face on it- and sat her in the kinderkraft and got into the car, driving towards the hospital while singing cartoons songs to her. 

No one actually knows she does that when they’re alone. 

Once she’s at the hospital, Hope is basically assaulted by doctors and nurses wanting to take a good look at ‘the cutest baby’, as most of them called her. 

Only after half an hour, Hope managed to find her aunt in the common room, where she was talking to Maya. As the two see the small bundle in her arms, they run to her and she’s surrounded once again.

“For the love of God, it’s a baby, not a Porsche.” 

“Are you really comparing her to a sport car?” Maya asks in amusement.

“Sports cars are great.” Hope states. 

“Why are you here? I thought you were staying home with her today.” Rebekah says, while letting Joy squeeze her finger in her little hand.

“Yeah but Jade thought she needed a check up. She’s been restless lately and I think she’s having trouble breathing.” Hope says while glancing at the baby in concern.

“I’m sure you’re just overreacting, but we can take a look at her.”

“Where’s Jade?” Maya asks.

“Finishing up the preparations for the wedding I think. And breathing, too.” She smiles sarcastically, bringing a laugh out of Maya.

“You’re just trying to scare me.” 

“I’m not. Joy is actually not that hard to manage. Usually.” 

“Did I tell you it’s a boy?” 

Hope gasps in surprise and almost jumps a little, still holding Joy close to her chest. “Really?!” 

“Yeah, Rafael is all over the moon.” 

“I bet he is.” 

“Hope? Come with me so I can check on Joy.” Rebekah calls her from the adjacent ER.

Hope does so, and as she rests the little one on the bed, she releases a sigh of relief and stretches her arms and her neck. Rebekah glances at her a little amused while she undresses the baby and puts the stethoscope to her ears. 

“This looks good on you.” 

Hope frowns in confusion. “What?” 

“Motherhood.” 

“Oh, not you too.” She rolls her eyes. 

Rebekah looks at her curiously and then back at Joy. “Why?”

“Josie told me I am obviously her mother too. But I...I feel like I’m overstepping or something, because Jade is her mother.” 

“And why wouldn’t you be? Hope, you didn’t only sign papers. You’re her family. You and Jade.” 

Hope’s jaw stays half open and unable to say something. 

Rebekah focuses on her niece, studying her just like when she did when Hope tried to keep secrets from her, but Rebekah is too good at reading through her, just like Hayley was. 

“What scares you?”  
Hope raises her gaze, looking almost like a scared deer, the same look she had when she was a teenager. She swallows hard, and her voice comes out low and sad. 

“I’ve always wanted a family, but now that I’m close to having one with Josie and... and now there’s Joy...” She exhales deeply, trying not to cry at the mere look of the small miracle under her gaze, “Suddenly I’m scared as hell to love something else so much.”

Rebekah looks at her with tenderness. “And why is that?”

Hope sniffles, and a single tear escapes down her cheek, but she doesn’t bother to hide it to Rebekah. She’s seen the worst of her after all. 

“Because what if something happens to me and I-I ruin her, like...”

“Like it happened to you?” Hope doesn’t answer nor nod, but Rebekah knows she means that. “Do you blame your mother now?” 

Hope scoffs and shakes her head. “No, of course not. But I used to.” 

Rebekah takes her hands in hers and faces her. “Hope...a child is the best thing that can happen to you. You can’t keep yourself from caring, or else how are you going to have a family if you’re scared something’s gonna happen to you or them?” 

Hope looks up at the ceiling and wipes her eyes with her fingers, trying to get herself together. “God, um, you’re right. Sometimes I really lose my ability to think rationally.” She chuckles while wiping off more tears. 

Rebekah rubs a hand on her back and smiles at her tenderly. Then Hope’s gaze shifts to Joy again. “And yes, I was worried. God I... I don’t know what I would do if something happened to her.” 

And just like that, she starts crying again. 

Rebekah ultimately decides to bring her into a tight hug. “Oh Hope...you see? You feel what a mother would feel for their child. You were worried. And it’s okay. It’s your first time, you’ll learn.”

Hope nods and wipes off the tears running down her cheeks. “You’re right.”

Looking at Joy as if she was seeing her for the first time, Hope smiles softly and brushes her finger on the little girl’s cheek. 

What she feels can’t be put into words. But maybe her father would know how to call it. 

Unconditional love.

/ /

Josie is laying on the chaise longue outside Jade’s trailer. Well, at this point it was more of an escape-from-reality-trailer, where they use to go in times like these- critical. 

It’s dark, but she can see the stars sparkling in the sky and it gives her some sense of peace. It’s quiet all around, except for Jade’s steps inside the trailer, looking for the third beer of the night. 

She walks out after not long and sits right beside her, focusing on the sky just like Josie, minus the drink. Since she had become a mother, she started being more responsible and drinking was only allowed in small doses. 

“Why did you call me and not Alyssa?” Jade asks. 

“Because you were free.” Josie simply says, taking another sip of her beer.

“Huh, that’s flattering.” Jade says sarcastically. “Besides, I wasn’t free. I was finishing up the preparations for your wedding.”

“Shouldn’t Lizzie be doing that?”

“There was an eight people trauma emergency today so she called me and asked me to take care of everything.” 

“Wow. She trusted you with wedding preparations?!” 

Jade chuckles. “You know she’s gonna change it her way first thing tomorrow.” 

Josie laughs too. “She definitely will.” 

They stay in comfortable silent for a while until Josie speaks up again, titling her head to the side to glance at the blonde. “I think Hope has a hard time realizing she’s Joy’s mother too.”

Jade frowns and smiles at the same time. “Really? I...I genuinely didn’t think I needed to address that.”

“She’s a brain surgeon but sometimes she can’t reach her own.” Josie says.

“I’m glad to hear my soon to be wife thinks so highly of me.” 

Suddenly Hope comes out of the dark of the woods, with Joy wrapped up in blankets in her arms, and Josie covers her mouth while trying to hold back a laugh. 

Jade instantly gets up and jumps happily towards Hope to hold Joy after not seeing her for the entire day. “Oh, I missed her so much. Was she good? Did you take her to your aunt?” 

“She’s okay and she was an angel. Everyone at the hospital jumped on us as if we were Kardashians.” 

“I’m surprised you didn’t compare her to a Porsche.” Josie says. Hope presses her lips together and looks at her guilty, and Josie smiles amused. “Of course you did.” 

Suddenly Josie’s phone rings and while she takes the call, Jade walks closer to the auburn-haired girl, looking at her intently. “Are you okay?” 

Hope smiles reassuringly. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just a little overwhelmed, that’s all.”

Jade nods in understanding and sighs lightly. “Josie needs you.” 

They share one last glance before Hope walks towards the wooden platform, where Josie is hanging up the phone.  
The brunette clearly looks sad and tired, but as she sees Hope standing in front of her - it’s just pure bliss. She brings her arms around Hope’s neck and smiles happily between sweet kisses on the lips. 

Hope tries to pull away without success, because Josie won’t let her. “Josie...stop..” She chuckles.

“I want to kiss you.”

“You’re tipsy. I like tipsy you.” 

Josie smiles widely and then sinks her head into Hope’s shoulder, hiding her face between her hair, but also holding her tightly. Suddenly Hope realizes Josie wasn’t teasing her anymore, and wasn’t grinning and laughing happily in her arms. Her hold seems like a plead, like a cry for affection and love. 

Hope instantly holds her back, trying to keep her even closer. 

“Hey...what’s wrong?” 

“I don’t think he’s coming.” Her voice comes out as a muffled sound from Hope’s shoulder, and the auburn haired girl sighs sadly and rubs Josie’s back to comfort her. 

“I’m so sorry baby.” Hope places a sweet kiss on her head without letting go of her hold on the brunette. “I understand if you don’t want to do this.” She whispers.

Josie instantly pulls away and stares at her deadly serious. “Don’t even think about that. I’m marrying you, tomorrow. And we’re going to start a family and be happy. I want to love you and live by your side until we’re a hundred years old surrounded by our four kids.” 

Hope’s eyes widen in shock and chuckles softly. “Four kids?!”

“Plus Joy, of course.” 

Hope smiles tenderly and closes the distance between them by surrounding Josie’s waist and holding the brunette against her. “I guess we have it all planned then.” 

Josie smiles proudly. “I think it’s a really good plan.” 

Hope nods with a smile that almost starts hurting her face. “Yes it is.” 

“I also did something that will make you quite happy.” 

Hope eyes her curiously, while Josie tries to avoid her gaze by focusing on Hope’s collar shirt. “What?” 

“I...played with Yogi.” 

“YOU?!”

“Damn, say it louder, would you?” 

Hope scoffs and keeps looking at her as if she was an alien. “And he let you?”

“Of course he let me, with Jade’s help, obviously. Now you two are not the only one he likes. And...as my pre-wedding gift for you...”

“You got me a pre-wedding gift?! I didn’t know we were going to do that!”

“Would you stop yelling to my face?!” Josie yells back. Both of them laugh and Josie caresses Hope’s chest with both hands. “Relax baby, it’s not ready yet. It’s something I added to the house project.” 

Hope gives her a pointed look. “You really have to stop stealing the house prints from my nightstand.” 

Josie grins mischievously and ignores her. “I added a bear house for Yogi.”

Hope’s jaw suddenly falls again in shock. “You...you added a bear house?” 

“Yeah. And I know I said it’s illegal and dangerous to keep a bear like this, but I got a permit.”

“A permit?”

Hope’s confusion really doesn’t match with Josie’s happy face.

“Yes. We are officially his guardians. Yogi is family now.” 

Hope stays with her mouth open in shock for what seems like an eternity, unable to make any sounds, probably not even breathing. Only her hands are making weird gestures Josie can’t quite comprehend. She wonders if by any chance Hope is Italian.

“Hope? Can your brain form sentences?” 

“Don’t make brain jokes on me!” 

Josie holds back a laugh. “Sorry, you scared me for a moment here.”

“I got so lucky. I think everyone else in the world will be miserable because of me, because I got all the luck. Oh my God. I have the best wife ever.” She rambles in such a cute way, Josie can’t help but keep smiling.

“I’m not your wife yet.” 

“Then we have fix that right now. Come with me.” Hope starts dragging her in the dark of the woods, heading towards the open air where the Old Mill once was and now only the white wall and the foundations of their future house stand.

“Hope! What are you doing?!” She hisses, although no one would really hear them even if she screamed.

“I can marry us, you know? I got that online license. I married two of my college friends once. So now I’m just gonna marry us.” 

Josie laughs at how crazy that sounds, and stares at Hope moving the paint cans next to them along with brushes. 

“Hope, this is ridiculous.”

Hope finally looks at her, a proud smile on her face, and offers a brush to Josie. “Ridiculously romantic, you mean?”

Josie laughs amused. “No, just ridiculous. We’re getting married in sixteen hours! Can’t we wait another sixteen hours?” 

“No! Do you know how many things can happen in sixteen hours?! No more waiting. I want to marry you now, then we can marry again tomorrow. I can marry you every day for the next hundred years even.” She says getting dangerously closer, her lips brushing against Josie’s. Their smiles touching gently together.

“Then we’ll do that.” Josie whispers.

When Hope meets brown eyes, she smiles softly and, already emotional, she walks to the can of yellow paint and dips her brush in it.

“I promise to always be there for you. I’ll always be in your corner. And you’ll never have to miss me.” 

Hope writes only four words on the wall, the ones that matter the most.

Josie wets her brush in blue and then looks back at Hope. “I promise to always love you, even when you make me mad, or we fight, or anything tries to come in between us...no matter what, I’ll always love you.” Her voice softens. 

And so she writes three more letters next to Hope’s. 

Hope mixes both colors this time, and faces Josie again. “I declare myself yours and only yours. Till the end of time.”

Josie smiles emotionally and mixes the same colors. “And I’m yours. Always and Forever.”

Lastly, Hope runs in Josie’s arms, both of them still holding the brushes and careless of getting their clothes and faces dirt with paint. They kiss for a long time without catching any breath. It’s almost as if they can breathe together now, like they won’t need to do it on their own ever again. 

But that’s not humanly possible, of course. 

They eventually break the kiss and smile at each other breathless, then they take a look to the wall in front of them.

_Always in your corner. No matter what. I’m yours. Always and forever._

“I guess this is going to be our bedroom wall then.” Hope says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if you can legally keep a bear but let’s pretend they can


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what’s a wedding without a little bit of drama?

Studies have shown that having good relationships is also good for your health. Good health also seems to benefit good marriages.

Good relationships, though, are not that easy to find.

**5 hours before the wedding.**

“Flowers are on each seat, the band will be on the left side of the altar, and the reception will be just over there.”

Lizzie hadn’t really slept much the night before. In fact, she was already out of bed at 5 a.m., almost like any work day.

But this was work too for her. Real work. Her sister’s wedding was not a joke. Not something to take lightly. If there’s someone who deserves this day more than anyone in the world, it’s her sister.

Josie has been the best sister she could ever ask for. The most caring and supportive sister. Lizzie almost feels like she owes her this. She wants this day to go as smoothly as possible, starting from the ceremony.

Well, not exactly.

More like starting from the brides.

Lizzie sighs and pulls out her phone to answer the third call Jade gives her since she woke up. “What now?”

“Hope just decided to gift Josie a solo surgery as her wedding day gift.”

Lizzie rolls her eyes and drops the flowers she was holding back in the basket. “Seriously?! I told her she was going to be the first to get her hair and make up done. Why do Mikaelsons always have to be so damn extra!?”

The location was the only thing Hope specifically requested after all. She wanted the wedding to be right outside their nearly finished house. The only thing they didn’t consider was that it might definitely start raining, and Lizzie was already spiraling because of that.

“We can’t lose more time, if it starts raining we won’t be able to have the ceremony in the open!” Lizzie yells again.

“Why are you yelling at me? I told her, but she walked out in a rush and I couldn’t do much with a five weeks old in my arms.”  
Jade holds the phone between her ear and her shoulder, while changing Joy’s diaper.

“Just get someone to kick her out of that hospital and bring her here, please. I have to find the caterer and the whole crew, who apparently got lost in the middle of the woods.”

Jade tries to hold back a laugh. “I told you sending your location wouldn’t help. It’s in the middle of nowhere.”

Lizzie sighs and softens all of the sudden. “Are you coming here soon?”

It’s not like she doesn’t have any help. Rebekah and Davina are there, so her request is more something for herself. Sometimes she wants Jade with her to do things, even minimal things, stupid things. It’s always only a bunch of excuses to keep her close, because Lizzie fears she might slip away somehow. Or maybe she’s just too selfish to let her go. She never really did.

“I have to take care of Joy and Hope, remember? You assigned me.”

Lizzie sighs. “You’re right. Oh! The caterer made it! I gotta go, don’t be late.”

She quickly hangs up and then looks at the dark clouds in the sky, sighing and closing her eyes. “Please don’t rain. Please don’t rain. Please...” She mutters.

Then she gets back to work.

/ /

**3 hours before the wedding.**

Josie is closing up the patient on the operating table, just finishing her solo surgery while being supervised by Bennett. Thankfully, it was a success, and Josie wonders what would Hope do for the rest of their lives together if she did this only on their first day as married (of course no one knows that).

It’s like having millions of dollars for life, but better. She had Hope.

“You know, Parker, I remember assisting your mother to her first surgeries. Your technique reminds me of hers. You’re in control and you quickly reach the point, but you’re still careful in the process.”

Josie smiles from behind the mask but keeps her eyes focused on the needle. “Sometimes I watch her recorded surgeries and just smile when I hear her voice and how she explains every step she does with such confidence... I can assure you I still don’t have that.”

“Confidence isn’t built in three years of internship. I’m a full experienced doctor and yet, I make mistakes sometimes. Overconfidence is not something we can allow to ourselves, but trust me that you’ll feel confident enough to trust your guts and not to let anyone question your decisions in the O.R. in due time.”

Josie places all the instruments in the tray while she and Bennett walk away from the sterilized area and head to wash their hands.

They keep silent, but Josie steals some glances at the woman from time to time, feeling the impulse to talk to her. Maybe she would be overstepping, but she thinks they’ve shared a moment in there, and that Bennett wouldn’t mind Josie trying to talk.

“I’m...sorry for everything you’ve been through.” Bennett raises her gaze to look at the brunette, and Josie goes on. “We should’ve visited you or something.”

“No Parker. And I’m fine now, as you are.”

Josie nods and stares into the void for a moment. She’s right, she’s...fine, all things considered. “Yeah.”

“Have you been doing what’s in the list?”

Josie looks at her in surprise. How did she know about the list?

“He told you?”

Bennett smiles sadly. “Yes. He cared about all of you more than anything. Especially you.”

Josie feels tears forming in her eyes for the first time that day, and tries hard not to lose it in front of Bennett.

“I...I have. No one knows, not even Hope. I do all those things by myself, and I talk to him in the meantime.” She chuckles sadly. “Anyone who sees me might think I’m crazy. But it’s just the way I can feel like I’m doing those things with him and not for him.”

Bennett softens and places a hand on Josie’s shoulder. “You’re good, Josie. In every possible way. Don’t ever forget that.”

The door bursts open, interrupting their moment, and Liv and Alyssa freeze as they see Bennett next to Josie. “S-sorry chief, but we need the bride.”

“What? Wait-“

Before Josie can say more, they drag her out of the room and to the locker room, sitting her on the bench while they stand in front of her. The brunette looks at them with a frown.

“What the hell?”

“Your sister asked us to kidnap you before anything else gets in the way. You need to get ready.” Alyssa says.

“Why are you people so pressed with being on time? Everything will still be there if we’re thirty minutes late.” She brushes off.

“It’s supposed to rain, so no, being late it’s not an option.” Liv states.

Josie sighs. “Fine. Then let’s go home and get me into my dress.”

Just as they are heading out of the room, Josie bumps into Hope, who instantly holds onto Josie’s arms to keep them both standing. Josie notices she’s breathing heavily, but Hope still smiles softly at the brunette.

“Hi baby. I was looking for you. Can we, um, can we talk?”

“No.” Both Alyssa and Liv try to drag her away, but Hope still holds on still.

“Hey! I’m the one who’s gonna marry this woman, so you better leave her to me now.” Hope orders, while Josie smirks and gasps in surprise when Hope pulls her inside the room, locking the two girls outside.

“That was so hot.”

Hope chuckles and nervously plays with her fingers, while Josie sits on the bench with one leg crossed over the other and a playful smirk on her lips.

“Is this a pre-wedding quickie? If so, I’m totally on board for it.”

Hope smiles and gets down to face Josie, taking her hands in hers. “No baby, I... I have to tell you something.”

Josie’s smile suddenly fades, seeing Hope’s serious face. “O..okay. Um, what is it?”

“Remember that study research I did in Boston two years ago?”

“Yeah, I remember. What about it?”

Hope stares at her blankly for two seconds more before answering. “They want me back.”

Josie raises her eyebrows in surprise and lets out a small breath. “Oh.”

“Yeah...”

“Well for how long? A few months more?”

“I...I don’t know that.”

Josie gives Hope a pointed look, full aware of her lie. Hope knows Josie can see through her lies. And Josie knows Hope isn’t capable to lie to her.

“A year.”

Josie stares at her blankly for a moment. “A year?” She didn’t realize her voice would tremble like that, although she’s really far from crying.

“Yeah, but I know it’s too long and I’m gonna tell them I’m not going.” She urges.

Josie shakes her head. “No, Hope. You.. you can’t start this marriage by giving up on your dreams and opportunities. I don’t want to be someone standing in the way of that.”

Hope scoffs a laugh and shakes her head with a small smile. “Josie...if anything, that’s something standing in the way of us.”

“Well it depends on how you want to see it.” Josie crosses her arms on her chest.

Hope keeps shaking her head in denial. “No, Josie. I’m not going. I can’t just leave you here. We have plans. We...”

“You could always come home during weekends or for a few days, right?”

“I don’t know Jo, I don’t know.”

They keep silent for a while. Josie avoids eye contact just as much as Hope. The room is so quiet, not even their breaths can be heard.

“You have to go.” Josie says again, grudgingly.

Hope looks at her with a frown. “No.” She bursts out a little aggressively. “I made my decision, I don’t want to do it.”

Josie smiles bitterly. “Then why did you tell me, Hope?”

Hope raises her voice a little more. “I told you because you’re my wife and I wanted to share it with you. I’m not going to start our future together with secrets. And I’m not going to leave before we even have the chance to start a family.”

Josie stands still, staring at the auburn-haired girl with a pained face. “I just don’t want you to resent me if you don’t go because of me.” She whispers.

Hope sighs and instantly softens. She walks closer to the brunette and surrounds her waist with her arms, holding her close against her. Josie rests her forehead against Hope’s, closing her eyes and trying to hold back the tears.

She wanted to be strong and deny that Hope didn’t scare her with this, but it was easier said than done.

Hope keeps her eyes open and stares at the brunette’s sad pout, while a small tear falls down her cheek, and Hope quickly wipes it off. “And I don’t want you to resent me if I go.” She whispers back.

Josie sniffles and breaks their foreheads contact, trying to compose herself again. Her sad brown eyes meet Hope’s soft blue ones, who’s looking at her with both tenderness and plead.

Josie exhales deeply before speaking again, making sure her voice wouldn’t break this time.

“Are you sure?”

Hope smiles and takes Josie’s hand, bringing it to her lips, kissing its back gently and then resting the palm against her cheek. “I have everything I need right here.”

Josie smiles softly and then throws herself into Hope’s arms to hug her tight, while silent tears just stream down her face.

“I love you. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to fight with you.” She cries.

Hope smiles between her own tears -since having Joy she cries rather easily- and rubs her hands on Josie’s back to reassure her. “It’s okay baby. We’re okay.”

Josie faces her while they both still hold each other. “So...we should probably go and get married. Again.” She smirks.

Hope chuckles. “Yeah, yeah we should.”

/ /

**1 hour before the wedding.**

Josie is in her room, finally in her wedding dress and sitting in front of her mirror while two complete strangers fix her hair and make up.

In the meantime, Hope was getting ready in Jade’s room, and Alyssa and Jade would make sure the two brides to be weren’t going to see each other before they get to the aisle.

Josie can’t wait to get this whole restoration thing done. Does she really need all this make up? Hope always says she’s naturally perfect, and because it’s Hope, she believes her. Maybe she shouldn’t?

Alyssa walks into the room, already dressed and holding a tiara in her hands. She smiles softly at the brunette and takes a look at her dress.

“You’re stunning. Even more than Hope.”

Josie chuckles. “That is the greatest lie to ever be told. Not even I can compare to my wife.”

The way the two keep referring to each other as wife and not future wife seems not to raise any suspect, and it’s far too amusing to both girls.

Without no one noticing, Josie and Hope have been texting each other all this time, even if they were only two rooms apart.

**Hope:** Don’t let them put lipstick on you, I want to kiss my wife properly ;)

**Josie:** Are we supposed to give a show?

**Hope:** Definitely.

**Josie:** I can’t wait to see you walking down the aisle

**Hope:** I can’t wait to see YOU walking down the aisle

Josie smiles like a fool to her phone, and Alyssa notices. She peeks over Josie’s phone and steals it from her, meddling through her texts.

“Hey!”

“You haven’t told her?”

“She doesn’t need to know. It’s a surprise.” She takes her phone back but keeps her head up to let the hairdresser put her tiara on. “Where’s Liv?”

“She’s downstairs taking care of Joy. Coming up I heard Jade yelling at Hope to get on those heels.” She smiles amused.

Josie chuckles. “Yeah, she hates them.”

Suddenly Josie’s phone screen lights up again.

 **Hope:** We should do an exchange.  
My best friend for yours.  
Now.

Josie laughs at the screen and starts typing.

**Josie:** Decisions, decisions... all of them wrong.

**Hope:** I hate both of you

**Josie:** I’ll see you on the altar baby :*

**Hope:** oh my God yes

“Are you two done sexting? We should get going.” Alyssa says.

Josie gets up and fixes her dress, then she takes another look at herself in the mirror and takes a deep breath. Meanwhile, Alyssa stares at her best friend’s reflection from behind and smiles softly.

“If you want to run away from the window I can sneak outside and catch you.” She whispers to her ear.

Josie scoffs a laugh and shakes her head gently. “I appreciate that. But no, no more running.”

/ /

**0 hours to the wedding.**

Twenty minutes later, they arrive to their open venue into the woods, just in proximity of their future house. Josie walks to her sister, who instantly smiles widely at her.

“I’m not gonna hug you because I don’t want to mess everything up, but you are breathtaking.”

Josie smiles back. “Thank you Lizzie. Is everyone here?”

“Yes. Hope is right behind you. And..there’s also someone else here for you.” Lizzie looks carefully at the brunette.

Josie frowns. “Who?”

Lizzie looks past Josie, hinting her to turn around and see, and to be honest, her father was the last person Josie was expecting to see there. He’s wearing a tux and he’s smiling nervously, his eyes darting from her face to her dress.

“You look beautiful.”

Josie has heard those words a lot since that morning, but only now they seem to really hit her and shake her to the core.

“I...thank you.”

Lizzie grindingly breaks the moment and warns the two of them. “We’re ready to go. You should...”

Alaric instantly gets what Lizzie means to say, and he quickly offers his arm to Josie, who hesitantly takes it without really looking at him. Instead, she keeps her eyes in front of her, trying not to show how nervous and -maybe- emotional this is for her.

“You changed your mind.” She simply says, proud of the fact that her voice didn’t tremble this time.

“Yeah. I... I guess that I realized I shouldn’t waste the second chance at life you gave me by not being there for you on your wedding day.”

Josie meets his eyes now. He looks tired and not that good, but his eyes are soft and caring, a look Josie has never seen on his face before, especially towards her.

“I know this won’t make up for a lifetime of missing having a father. And I know very well that I owe you more than this, but right now, I can do this one thing for you. And I hope it’s okay.”

Josie presses her lips together, hinting a small smile and trying to hold back the tears, because she couldn’t start crying while walking down the aisle.

“It is. Thank you...for being here.” Her voice trembles this time.

He gives her one last smile, then they keep walking down the aisle, where everyone from both sides is looking at her with wide smiles.

Josie might have acted so tough all this time, but even the strongest armors break somehow. Josie’s armor was completely gone right now. For once, she lets herself feel. She lets herself care and be happy that her father is there with her to share this moment of her life, despite their tumultuous relationship.

Once she gets to the end, Alaric places a hand on her cheek and caresses her gently, and that gesture alone is able to make Josie crackle like a castle made of sand. She just feels too much right now. She’s grateful, for once. For once, it feels like she has everything.

Alaric walks to his seat while Josie stands next to Alyssa, who takes her hand to comfort her, while Josie’s eyes are fixed far behind the trees, waiting to see Hope walking past them.

Twenty more minutes pass but there’s still no sign of her, and Josie sends Alyssa to check if everything is okay.

The reason is: Rebekah started sobbing as soon as she saw Hope, so it took a while to get her to stop.

Josie fears she might start sobbing too at this point. And as she sees Hope turn around the corner alongside Klaus, she nearly does.

Hope is first amazed by the view, but then gives the brunette a pointed look, and both of them try not to start laughing in the middle of the moment.

Once Hope arrives next to her and they can finally look at each other up close, Hope whispers to her ear.

“I thought we agreed I should’ve been the one waiting for you.”

“I know. But then I thought that you’ve waited for me long enough in the past, while I couldn’t wait just five more minutes for you.” Hope shakes her head, knowing that Josie can’t help but still feel bitter about that. “It seemed only fair I was the one waiting for you for once. And for the record...I would wait as long as it takes if that means I still get you.” She whispers back.

Hope smiles widely and then bites her bottom lip to keep herself from kissing the brunette right in this moment, and both of them decide to pay attention to Hope’s uncle, who’s the one officiating their union.

In the meantime, Liv stands far from the seats and enjoys the moment away from the crowd. Mostly because Lizzie put her in charge of helping her with the reception and the waiters, who were still setting everything up.

Without noticing, someone steps next to her, and to her surprise, it’s Rafael. His eyes are fixed on the brides, but Liv knows there must be something he wants to tell her, or he would be sitting next to Maya.

“I heard you came here without a date.”

“I heard you came here with one.” She answers.

Rafael smiles softly and nods, then he sighs sadly, shaking his head gently. “Something’s just...not right.”

Liv smiles softly, but it’s a sad smile, a conscious smile. “It’s just how everything’s supposed to be.”

“Is it though?”

He turns his whole attention to her now, so Liv does the same and faces him. “For days...I thought that maybe you needed time to process everything and that maybe you would realize where your heart truly was. Hoping that it was with me.” Rafael just stares at her with a pained face, allowing her to go on, “But then I thought...if we didn’t work and something this big like a child brought you back to Maya...there must be a reason, right?”

“Olivia...”

“It’s just how it was supposed to be Raf.” She repeats, as if it was a mantra. She scoffs a laugh, “You, with her. And in two days I’ll be moving to New York and finish my internship there.”

Rafael’s face falls in a sad surprise, and looks at her in confusion.

“Dr. Elena Gilbert is a friend of my mom. She wants me there, she promised me a place in her research and despite the fact that I love my sisters to death, I need to do this for me.” She explains. “So whatever you were going to say...please don’t say it.” She smiles sadly. “It wouldn’t do good to any of us.”

Rafael nods in understanding and lowers his head to the ground, and when he looks back at her, his eyes are teary, but he walks away before he can fully show his emotions. And Liv exhales deeply, wiping off the tear that escaped her.

She looks back at her sister, who’s facing Hope and holding her hands.

“We already promised each other so much, but I’ll say it again, and I’ll just keep promising you more, because it’s what you deserve. You give so much of yourself to others, to me, to the people you love... that I can’t explain myself how do you hold all this love in a heart as big as a fist. You always put first the ones you love, and that’s what I’m promising you today. To always put you first. To love you beyond anything life throws us in the way. And to return the amount of love you give me back to you at least twice as big. In sickness and in health, always and forever.”

Both girls smile widely at each other while shamelessly sobbing. And they’re not the only ones.

Jade is standing far from the crowd too, rocking Joy in her arms while silently tearing up after hearing Josie’s vows.

“Careful, you’re crying on the baby.” Someone whispers over her shoulder.

Jade instantly turns around at the sound of a familiar voice, and widens her eyes in surprise when she sees the girl smiling at her.

“Wendy? Oh my God, how are you here?!”

“Well, since I’m the lead singer of the band you guys hired...”

That’s even more surprising to Jade. Since Lizzie was the one in charge of almost everything, she can’t think of how of all the musicians in the city she picked Wendy’s band. But she couldn’t have known that.

“Oh, right! Well I didn’t know which band was playing. I was only in charge of taking care of Hope.” She chuckles nervously.

“And I didn’t know you became a mother.” She walks closer to look at Joy.

“Oh, yes. Um, I adopted her. It’s...a complicated story.”

“Well, maybe I can hear all about it later?” She gives her that flirty look Jade knows too well, and it makes her stomach flutter for a moment.

She can’t even explain what she’s feeling, if it’s just the fact that she hasn’t been with anyone in a while or the fact that it was Wendy making her feel things. But what was the point of overthinking it?

“Sure, I’d like that.”

After the ceremony, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, while Hope and Josie barely got the chance to talk to each other till their opening dance, and the two could finally breathe while holding each other.

“Tell me why we invited the entire hospital again?” Hope murmurs in the crook of Josie’s neck.

Josie smiles in amusement. “Getting overwhelmed by too much love baby?”

Hope ignores her teasing and faces the brunette with a tender gaze. “Are you okay? With your dad being here?”

“Yeah I am, actually. I... I think I’m really happy about it.” She smiles, and this can only bring a smile to Hope’s face too.

Suddenly the slow music stops and one particular song starts playing, and both Hope and Josie realize what’s happening.

Hope groans desperately, while Josie grins widely and sees Alyssa jumping off the stage while dancing shamelessly and coming towards them.

“I guess I’m letting you two dance it out.” Hope says while stepping back, leaving her spot to Alyssa.

“Yes Mikaelson, away you heel!” Alyssa yells, and Hope laughs while walking away and going to Lizzie, who was holding Joy and rocking her to the rhythm.

“Careful with the dancing, she might puke on you.” Hope says.

“She hasn’t eaten yet. In fact, I can’t see Jade. And I also have to find the lead singer, and by the way, who is she? Ugh. People are not cooperating at all today.” She sighs in frustration.

Hope chuckles and then fixes Joy’s baby skirt. “I can help you find her. Alyssa stole my wife anyway.”

“Five minutes into your marriage and you’re giving up already.” Lizzie says snarkily.

Hope laughs and shakes her head. “Shut up. Let’s go find this singer.”

They walk far from the crowd and head towards the band’s trailer and tenth.

“How’s everything so far?” Lizzie asks, glancing at Joy from time to time.

“Good. My family keeps saying how beautiful our vows were and my uncle Elijah says it’s the most beautiful wedding he ever got to officiate. He clarified it’s not because I’m his only niece, of course.”

“I didn’t know soldiers could officiate weddings.”

“He’s licensed. It’s not very common.”

“Thank God it didn’t rain after all. Although there were so many tears there to fill a swimming pool.”

“I saw you crying, too.” Hope smirks.

“Well if you saw me crying instead of focusing on your wife in front of you then we have a problem.”

Hope chuckles and then silence falls between them. They keep walking until they reach the tenth, but it’s empty.

“Maybe they forgot the singer.” Hope jokes.

Lizzie sighs as they turn around the corner and head to the trailer, and as they do, both of them freeze on the spot. Lizzie’s face falls in pain as she sees Jade making out with a girl. A girl that’s also far too familiar.

Hope is just as shocked, and blinks more than once to make sure she’s seeing it right. “I... I guess we find the singer.” She pauses. “Isn’t that Wendy?”

Lizzie hears her, but she doesn’t answer. She only manages to hand Joy to Hope and then walks away under the girl’s worried face.

“Lizzie...”

But Lizzie doesn’t stop. To be honest she only wants to go far away from there, far away from everything and everyone. She knew this could happen, she mentally prepared herself to this eventuality. But it’s easier said than done.

When she goes back to where everyone is, Lizzie sees an ambulance leaving, and then Josie and Liv walk towards her. Lizzie looks at the both of them in confusion.

“What’s wrong? Why wa 911 here?”

“Lizzie...it’s dad.” Liv says, her voice broken. “He collapsed and now they’re taking him to the hospital.”

“I don’t get it. He... he was okay a moment ago.” She starts pounding heavily. Every sound and noise around her suddenly it’s just too loud.

Josie shakes her head sadly. And after not long Hope comes back too, along with Jade and Wendy, but Lizzie’s mind is far too crowded to realize who’s around her.

“It’s okay babe, you should go. I’ll be there as soon as everyone leaves.” Hope tells Josie.

Lizzie’s brain only registers one phrase every once in a while, while her panic starts to be the only thing she feels and hears the most.

“Then Liv and Lizzie will come with me. I’ll call you as soon as I know more.” Josie says.

Lizzie feels a familiar hand on her shoulder, and as she turns around, she’s met with Jade’s worried and soft gaze. Because of course she would realize she was completely spiraling. But as much as that touch was comforting to her, she can’t help but keep seeing her hands and her lips on someone else. And it was just too much.

So she simply walks away, leaving a confused Jade behind.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sad, fluff and comedy

When we are kids and we do something wrong, they teach us to always apologize. Our parents and teachers would go, “Say you’re sorry.” And we would say it but never mean it. 

Growing up, we understand the importance of sorries even more. Of course, when you are a doctor, the importance of “Sorry” is not pleasant to hear. It either means “You’re dying, and I can’t help” or it means, “This is really gonna hurt”.

Sometimes, both of them go together. 

**Friday, May 14th**

_Dear Josie,  
I don’t know how this will find you, but I believe I’ll figure out a way.  
I’ve never been the father you and your sister needed, and to this day, it’s the biggest regret of my life. I’m sorry you had to grow up on your own, without me teaching you those things that only a father can. I should’ve. I’m sorry. _

_I didn’t want this to be a letter made of sorries, but it’s the only word that comes to my mind whenever I think about you.  
Despite my absence, I know you would’ve been an incredible daughter, if only I had been a good father to you. When you were a baby, I could tell by the way you held onto my finger how much love you had in you. Again, I’m sorry if I didn’t give you the chance to love me. From the first moment I came to Mystic Falls, I justified your behavior and your hate directed at me. I believe I deserved your resentment and disappointment. To this day, I still do, even though I feel like something’s changed. _

_Thank you for giving me a second chance even when I came back to you as no one but a stranger. Thank you for showing me that behind the armor you put on because I hurt you in the past, you still were able to give me a little bit of that love I knew you would have since you were born. And I regret not having been there to have more of it, because as I sit here writing this with my whole body in pain, I believe you could’ve saved me in more ways than donating me a part of you._

_I’m sorry if I wasted the second chance you gave me. I’m sorry if I disappointed you again, although this might not surprise you. I hope I’ll be able to come to your wedding, so that I get to do this one good thing for my daughter._

_The one thing I ask of you, is to not feel responsible when my day comes. You did nothing wrong. I know you’re a good daughter, a good sister, and a good doctor. You would give anything for your family, and you did, even with me. So please, don’t think you need to apologize to me for being cold, because even if I’ve never said this, I loved you through everything._

_Have the beautiful life you deserve. Be happy. Have a family. Hold on to the ones you love. I’ll do my best to watch over you once I go, along with your mother._

_Love, Dad._

/ /

Josie sits in the common room by herself. It’s dark outside and she hadn’t even realized it. She’s been sitting there since Bennett came to her with the bad news, and gave her the letter she’s holding in her hands. 

She’s been reading it over and over again for the past two hours, almost learning by heart every word in it, processing. 

Don’t feel responsible, her father said. 

That’s the hardest thing to work on for her. But somehow, unlike a few hours before, she feels warm now. Maybe it’s because she’s never felt her father this close like now that he’s not there anymore, but still, he is. 

She can’t miss someone she never really had, but his words and gestures were enough to make her care more than she ever wanted to. 

She’s not feeling desperate like when she lost her mother, but the sadness it’s overwhelming.

While she’s lost in thought, Alyssa knocks at the door and silently comes in, sitting right next to her. She keeps quiet for ten minutes at least before Josie finally looks at her.

“You’ve been sitting here in silence for ten minutes.” She says, her voice low and tired.

“I’m here to make sure you’re okay. Or...relatively okay. As okay as you can be.” She says like a robot, her fingers intertwined together. 

“I will be.” Josie stares at the piece of paper in her hands for the tenth time, and releases a heavy sigh. “I just can’t keep losing people, Alyssa.” She confesses, oddly emotionless. It’s like she shut them down, Alyssa notices. Josie tends to do that. 

“You know I can’t promise you that. I would be lying to your face.”

“That’s why you’re my best friend.” She smiles sadly. 

“But I can promise that Jolyssa is forever.” 

Josie scoffs a laugh. “Thank God.” 

Alyssa places her hand on Josie’s and hints a smile. “Wanna dance it out?” 

Josie scoffs and shakes her head. “More like drink it out.” 

“There’s plenty of alcohol stored at the trailer.” She smirks. 

Josie hints a small smile “Sounds good.” 

/ / 

Lizzie and Liv went back home even before Josie left the hospital. The brunette was not the only one who received a letter from her father, and both the blondes sisters were having a hard time coping with what happened. 

Thanks to Liv’s presence, Lizzie managed to keep herself together, despite feeling her head exploding with thoughts. In the meantime, Hope was still at the venue. Unravel a wedding was just as hard as planning it. 

Jade came home sooner than she could, leaving Hope to deal with it alone, while Davina was taking care of the Joy. She couldn’t help but worry. She had to. After the last time, she wasn’t going to underestimate any of Lizzie’s hard moments. 

As she arrives in the kitchen, Olivia sits straight on the couch and stares at Jade almost in surprise. 

“Where is she?” 

“Jade... now it’s not the time. She’s better off alone.” 

Jade frowns and shakes her head. “No. Absolutely not. Where is she? Is she upstairs?” 

“She’s in the garden, but Jade-“

She doesn’t hear the rest, because she rushes outside to find Lizzie, and she finds her asleep on the hammock, with Arlo laying down the grass like a faithful guardian.

Jade takes a breath of relief, and walks closer to pat Arlo on the head, then she checks on the sleeping girl. She decides that it’s best to leave her to rest and wait for her to wake up, so she goes back inside. 

“She’s sleeping.” Jade says.

“She saw you, Jade.” Liv looks up at her from the couch tiredly, holding her head up with her hand. Noticing Jade’s confusion, she goes on. “She saw you kissing Wendy.” 

Jade abandons herself on the couch and rubs her forehead with a hand. “Oh my God.” 

“You know I like you and you’re my friend, but if you want to randomly hook up to a wedding, especially our sister’s wedding, at least be careful about it.” 

“What?! I wasn’t... wasn’t going to hook up with her.” She hisses.

“Then what were you doing?”

Jade is thoughtful for a moment, then she drops her head in her hands. “I don’t know.” She whispers. 

Liv sighs. “Jade, you’re not responsible for her. You’re entitled to move on.” 

Jade shakes her head in denial and scoffs a bitter laugh. “Yeah, I know. Of course I know that.”

Suddenly Lizzie walks in along with Arlo, and she has to blink twice to adjust to the light inside and see who was there. She stops walking as she sees it’s Jade. “Oh.” 

Oh. 

That hurt more than a _Go to hell._

Jade stands up and follows Lizzie, who had disappeared into the kitchen. 

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, Jade. You don’t have to babysit me. You already have a daughter to do that.” 

Jade ignores Lizzie’s arrogance and places a hand on her arm. “I’m here for you. Don’t push me away, please?”

Lizzie turns to face her and fixes her eyes on her. “I don’t need you, Jade. I’m fine. I’m on my feet, I’m breathing and I’m going to binge watch my favorite show to cope with all of this. Again, I don’t need you.”

Jade bites her bottom lip and keeps quiet. She can’t say she didn’t expect this, but fighting Lizzie has always been the worst for her. She can never argue back. 

“Okay.” She whispers. 

Lizzie knows she hurt her, but she hurt her first. But then again, Lizzie hurt her even before that. This isn’t even to make herself feel better. This isn’t even a payback.

This is to push Jade to let her go once and for all.

/ /

Josie and Alyssa sit on the deckchairs outside the trailer, sipping from their bottle of champagne, both of them almost halfway through it.

“Are you going to keep that dress on until tomorrow?”

“Hey, it took half an hour to get into this dress. Let me enjoy it.”

Alyssa laughs and sips a bit more. “I saw the wall by the way. It made me wanna puke.”

Josie spits the champagne in her mouth and bursts out laughing. Alyssa doesn’t know why, but she likes the sound of it, and she laughs too.

“God, I can’t imagine how it’s gonna be when you two have kids.” 

“We will. Soon.” Josie says smiling to herself.

“Really?”

“Yeah. We’re already looking for a good anonymous donor. And I’m doing it.” 

“You’re gonna screw the anonymous donor?!”

“No, idiot! I’m carrying the baby!” 

Alyssa chuckles and punches gently on the brunette’s shoulder. “I know dumbass. I call dibs on the name since I’m gonna be the godmother.”

“You can’t call dibs on my future kid. Only I can call dibs.” Hope sneaks out from the darkness of the woods, making Alyssa jump in surprise.

“Dear God. She’s just everywhere.” Alyssa says with a hand on her chest. 

Hope walks to Josie, who invites her to sit on her lap, and she doed so, despite their bulky wedding dresses.

“How are you feeling?” She asks, pulling a strand of hair behind Josie’s ear.

“I feel...light as a feather.” She smiles foolishly, “And you’re still the most beautiful bride.” 

Hope chuckles. “You’re drunk.”

Josie gasps in -fake- surprise and closes the distance between them, “And yet, still beautiful.” She whispers on her lips right before kissing her passionately.

Alyssa groans in disgust. “Please, not in front of the kids.”

“You know, there’s something poetic about drinking from a bottle of champagne in a wedding dress.” Josie says as she breaks the kiss.

“Really? I wanna try then.” Hope gets up to get herself a bottle too.

“Oh wonderful, I’m sitting right next Monica and Phoebe.” 

“Be our Rachel, Lyss.” Josie says. 

“I think the only thing I’ll be is- on my way.” 

The two ignore Alyssa’s comments while they drink and laugh about something Alyssa can’t catch, but seeing them like that is actually heartwarming. 

“Hey! Is that Yogi rolling around?” Alyssa asks.

“It’s him! Ohh, let’s go play with him!” Josie tries to drag Hope with her, but she resists. 

“Babe, you’re wasted.”

“And you don’t want to say no to your wife on your first night together, do you?” Josie hums while smirking at the neuro surgeon.

“The fact that that sounded so dirty but actually had nothing to do with dirty really concerns me on your married life.” Alyssa looks at them with a frown. 

“Yogi! Come here baby!” Josie yells at him, disappearing into the dark, while Hope tries to catch up with her. 

“Josie, leave him be. I haven’t even fed him today, he might eat your face for all I know.” Hope pleads tiredly.

“I thought you said he doesn’t attack?”

“Normally he doesn’t, but you do look like a snack.” 

Josie gasps in surprise and turns around  
to look at Hope who’s smirking at her shamelessly. “Tell me you didn’t just use a pick up line on me.” 

“I didn’t?” 

“I’m so not going to bed with you tonight.” 

“Oh yeah? Then who’s gonna get me out of this uncomfortable dress?” She walks dangerously closer to the brunette.

“You get yourself out. You’re not Joy.” 

“Whatever. It’s your loss.” 

Hope turns around wanting to walk away, but Josie pulls her back -maybe a little too harshly- and both of them fall down on the grass. 

They giggle happily while resting their foreheads together, but then their laughs quiet down, and Josie’s smile slowly fades.  
She stares at Hope’s features, her eyes, her lips, and caresses her warm cheeks with the tips of her fingers.

“You’re the only good side of everything, you know that?” She whispers softly, and Hope smiles weakly. “Without you everything would be just...off, and sad. You are my light.” 

Hope brings Josie’s hand to her lips and places sweet kisses on the palm of her hand. “You are mine.”

Josie smiles sadly, her thoughts shifting to her father again. 

“He told me it’s not my fault.” She whispers. 

“He’s right. It’s not.” 

“Then why do I feel so guilty? I...pushed him away for so long. I should’ve tried harder, even when he didn’t.” She lowers her gaze and plays with the aims of her dress. 

“Regret and guilt won’t do you any good baby. He didn’t want this for you.” Hope whispers.

Josie stays thoughtful for a moment before starting speaking again. “You know how I always said I couldn’t recall one good memory of him?” Hope simply stares at her, waiting for Josie to continue. 

“Actually there is.” She pauses, “When I was six, he got me that operation game that was always in tv’s commercial.” She smiles weakly recalling the memory, “There was this one time he played with me for hours, and I felt...loved. I felt like I mattered for once.” She stays silent for a moment, her jaw straightening all of the sudden. “But then I started seeing who he truly was, and it was...scary, at times. It just made me feel sad, but I was just a kid. Then growing up it just made me...so angry.” She lowers her gaze and sighs sadly.

Hope stares at the brunette with tenderness and rests her hand on Josie’s. “You have to forgive yourself. And forgive him.” 

Josie is thoughtful for a moment, then she meets Hope’s gaze. “I think I already forgave him.” 

Hope gives her a tender smile. “Then you’re halfway through the healing process.” She says softly.

Josie hints a smile and surrounds Hope’s neck with her arms, while Hope holds onto her hips and pulls the brunette closer. 

“You know what’s the best part of being married to you?” Josie asks.

Hope titles her head to the side and looks at her curiously. “What’s that?” 

“You.” 

Hope grins widely and brushes her nose against Josie’s. “You’re so cheesy, I might start puking my love for you all over you.”

“Screw you, Hope Mikaelson.”

Hope bursts out into laughter and then kisses her sweetly, but Josie is the one breaking the kiss once again. 

“Can I take your last name?” 

Hope blinks a few times in shock. “You... you want to take my last name?” 

Josie chuckles. “Is that so weird?” 

“No, actually. Josette Mikaelson...I like the sound of it.” She smiles.

“I feel like a royal now.” Josie moves to sit on her lap, making Hope laugh. 

“Look at that, you’re not an ogre anymore.” 

Josie’s smile fades, her mouth closed in a thin line. “Look at that! You’re still a bitch.” 

Hope laughs again and kisses Josie’s pout away. Then suddenly something gets in between them, and they pull away, scared at first, but then realize it’s only Yogi. 

“There you are!” Hope says and starts petting him. 

“Now I’m jealous.” Josie pouts again.

“Weren’t you the one who wanted to play with him?”

“That was half an hour ago. I was drunk.”

“And you’re sober now?”

“Yes.” She says proudly.

“Stand on one foot then.”

“I will stand on you if you keep pushing me.” 

Hope chuckles. “I’m not even touching you.”

“Metaphorically speaking.” 

“Hmm-hm.” 

Josie knows Hope is playing with her just to annoy her, but she can’t help but fight back. “You are so not getting past this dress tonight.” She narrows her eyes at her, but Hope is only more amused.

“That’s what she said.” She smirks.

“WHO?” 

“Oh my God Josie, I’m kidding. Have another drink baby.” 

Josie exhales deeply. “This night is getting way out of hand. We need to go home. Alyssa will drive us.” 

“Alyssa is drunk as a skunk. We should sleep in the trailer.” 

“We really have to sell that trailer, Hope.”

“You wanna sell it now?” She asks sarcastically.

“I’m just saying!” She groans and gets up, stammering a little to gain her balance, and Hope chuckles while watching her wife struggling, while she still sits comfortably on the grass.

Josie looks down at her with a serious face. “Are you coming or are you spending the night with the bear?” 

“You can’t be jealous even of the air I breathe, Josie.” Hope hums while standing up and shaking the dirt from her dress.

“If I could just keep you in a bubble...” She whines.

Hope laughs and kisses the brunette sweetly, then cups her cheeks in her hands, squeezing them tightly. “You’re so cute.” 

“We’re in that honeymoon phase Hope...what about when it ends? What about when we start fighting about serious married couple stuff?” 

Hope notices Josie’s genuine worry and smiles at her reassuringly. “We’ll get through it, remember? You and me, until we’re old and tied to a catheter.”

Josie makes a grimace of disgust. “You could’ve painted a nicer picture.”

Hope chuckles and runs her fingers through brown strands of hair. “Just don’t worry about that now.” 

Suddenly they both feel raindrops falling on their arms. They look up and realize they couldn’t really see the stars anymore.

“Ouch. Now what?” Josie asks. 

“We could make out under the rain.” Hope suggests, smirking and holding Josie closer.

“You know I’m not afraid to do that.” Josie laughs, starting to kiss Hope passionately. 

They stay like that until the rain starts pouring down and they’re completely soaked wet. Once they break the kiss they start laughing, still enjoying the feeling of the cold rain all over them.

“Now what?” Josie asks. 

“Now we go home. For real this time.” 

Josie smiles. “Fine.”

Benefits of marriage are benefit for sure, but they’re not exclusive. We can find that one person who will be there for you. Anchor you. Give you life. Make you feel alive. 

Sometimes we don't need a spouse. We just need someone we can trust. We need someone we can talk to. We need someone who will celebrate your wins and grieve our losses.

We need someone who will show up, no questions asked, and walk with us through every unexpected twist and turn life throws our way.

But if you end up marrying that person, it’s all a bonus.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has a lot of time jumps, but I hope you’ll still like it

In the practice of medicine, change is inevitable. New surgical techniques are created, procedures are updated, levels of expertise increase. Nothing remains the same for long. We either adapt to change...or we get left behind.

But change comes in many, many forms. 

**6 months later.**

Josie slowly opens her eyes while nausea starts kicking in, and she instantly sits up and rushes to the bathroom, but nothing actually comes out. She went to sleep without eating the night before after all. 

But the nausea is unbearable, and Josie is clueless about the why at first, but then she looks at herself in the mirror, trying to see something. She feels different. She looks different. 

People say that women change when they-

She opens the bathroom cabinet and pulls out a pregnancy test she had stored just in case. She’s nervous and excited, but she also doesn’t want to get her hopes -and Hope’s- up. When she did the full check up before the insemination they both knew Josie’s uterus was not the best host, but Hope was adamant. She believed they would be fine, that Josie could do it. But until now every shot had been in vain. That’s why Josie can’t believe this can be morning sickness.

Three minutes feel like three hours, but eventually, they come to an end, and Josie closes her eyes and takes deep breaths before looking down at the test. 

The next thing she does is calling Maya.

\\\

At the hospital, Lizzie and Hope are working on a case together, while Jade keeps following Rebekah around like she has for the past few months. She decided that peds is her call, and no one better than Rebekah could shape her into a great surgeon. 

It’s just like any other day at the hospital, although the past few months have been followed by many changes. 

Like Olivia moving to New York. 

Like Hope and Josie finally moving out and living in their own big dream house, far from the city and in an open area in the woods, where the Old Mill once was.

Maya giving birth to a beautiful boy, Leo.

Bennett being five months pregnant already. 

And the fourth year of internship was opening up many opportunities for each one of the interns. 

While Jade is thinking about taking or not a spot at Hopkins, Alyssa has already decided to go to Minnesota, despite Josie’s displeasure. Although loving each other very much, they still had a career to think about, mountains to climb, and they had to do it all, even if it meant being apart. 

For Jade it was a different and far more complicated situation, because leaving Mystic Falls meant taking Joy away from Hope, and she would never do that to her, or Joy. Along the way she realized that growing up without a mother didn’t limitate her being a mother, on the contrary, it only made her conscious of all the things a child needs, especially their parents. And Hope was one of them.

As for Josie, she was called by the Boston Medical Center two months before, and after putting it off for a while, she eventually decided she wasn’t going. She didn’t want to leave her family, her new house, her new life. To her, everything was there in Mystic Falls.

Hope tried hard to change her mind, to convince her into taking the job in Boston, because despite the memories and the emotional connection to the city, Josie has still a career to think about, and Hope doesn’t want her to give up on new opportunities that can shape her as a great surgeon. 

But Hope and Josie being as they are, obviously started arguing about Josie’s decision.

_“You gave up on Boston before because you said you didn’t want to leave me. Because we had plans! Why would you push me into taking the job now?!” Josie shouts._

_“Because I want you to become the surgeon you always wanted to be, Josie!” She scoffs a laugh, “I wouldn’t press so much and get so mad if I wasn’t certain that this could work! We can move there together, we can start our family there-“_

_“I’m not leaving Lizzie.” Josie states in a stern tone._

_“Lizzie will most likely take the job in New York and join Olivia! Why are you so scared of change?”_

_Josie closes her lips in a thin line and shakes her head in denial. “I’m not scared of change. We have a life here, a good life. Your family is here. And Jade is staying here with Joy, so we can’t live.”_

_“So you’re using Joy as an excuse? I’ll tell Jade she can take the job at Hopkins. I’ll fly over the weekends to see her. We can make it work, Josie.” She insists, sounding almost desperate to convince the brunette._

_“Hope, we’re staying here. End of discussion.”_

And it did end there. Josie had the last word, and they didn’t talk about it again. And more months passed while they tried to get pregnant.

And now, here we are.

Josie is in an empty ER laying on a bed with her legs spread open, while Maya splashes cold gel on her belly. 

“Josie, you’re pounding. Relax.” Maya says gently.

“I can’t relax, Maya. God, you know how we’ve been trying. This is the third time. I just..” She breaths in and out to calm herself down, “This time has to work.” Her voice shakes.

Maya looks at her with tenderness. “Let’s see how everything is, okay?” 

Josie nods and rests her head on the backrest, while Maya looks at the ultrasound screen and moves the probe on Josie’s belly. At first, Josie can’t hear a thing, and she instantly panics.

“Maya, please don’t tell me it’s what I think it is. Please.”

Before Maya can say something, the door suddenly bursts open, revealing Alyssa, who widens her eyes in surprise when she sees Josie in that state. 

“Oh my God. You’re pregnant?! And you didn’t tell me?!” She screams.

“Shhhhhh. What the hell Alyssa?! Do you want the entire hospital to hear you?! Close the door!” Josie hisses harshly. 

Alyssa’s face suddenly shifts from surprised to serious. “You’re finally pregnant and you didn’t tell me.” Her tone is almost threatening.

“I took the test this morning, okay?! I didn’t tell anyone. I wanted to be sure first!”

“And?!” 

Both girls look expectantly at Maya, who smiles softly and presses a button on the central machine.

“Hear this.” 

At first it’s a muffled sound, but after a moment it becomes clearer, and they can definitely hear a heartbeat. Josie gasps in surprise and covers her mouth with a hand, while tears start forming in her eyes.

“It’s a heart. It’s a beating heart!” Alyssa screams.

Maya chuckles. “Yes but, listen carefully.” 

Josie’s smile slowly fades while realization hits her along with a second wave of shock, and as she meets Alyssa’s gaze, she knows they both know.

“They’re two, Josie. Two heartbeats. Two!”

“I’m going to have twins?” She asks, still incredulous. 

Suddenly the door bursts open again, and this time it’s Jade who comes in, her expression shifting to surprise as well.

Josie groans in frustration. “How do you people know I’m in here?!” 

“I needed Maya for a consult! And...are you pregnant?!” Jade screams. 

“With twins!” Alyssa screams back.

While Jade’s mouth opens in shock, Josie points a finger at both of them. “No. I’m still not telling Hope. It’s too soon, something could go wrong...”

“Oh Josie please! Stop thinking about what can go wrong! We can chain you to bed and just keep your uterus to rest!” Alyssa suggests.

“Josie, it’s going to be okay. Right, Maya?” Jade asks.

“You’re three weeks pregnant Josie, and even if it’s relatively soon, the heartbeats are strong. But due to your medical chart, I will take a look at you at least once a week, so you don’t have to worry.” 

For the third time that day, the door opens and Josie instantly whines and drops her head in her hand, not noticing at first that the person walking in was Hope, holding Joy in her arms.

“Oh God.” Josie whispers. She tries to sit, but how can she sit down when her legs are spread wide open on two leg rests? 

“What is going on here?” Hope asks looking genuinely confused. She glances at every girl in the room, then her eyes fix on Josie. “Josie?”

Before Josie can put together a logic sentence, Hope looks at the small scans coming out of the machine, and stares at them carefully. Her mouth opens and closes twice, trying to find the right words. 

“Are these...are these yours?” She asks with uncertainty.

Josie smiles softly with teary eyes. “Yes?”

“We’re...we’re having twins?” She smiles.

“We’re having twins.” 

\\\

**7 months later.**

Despite not wanting changes, eventually changes always come. Alyssa had left for Minnesota, while Lizzie decided to stay in Mystic Falls, not wanting to miss a moment of her sister’s pregnancy. Besides, she wouldn’t replace Bonnie Bennett for any New York teacher, honestly. 

When Liv first heard the news, she wanted to get on the first plane to visit her sister, but Josie insisted to save the ticket for when the twins would come.

Seven months went by like nothing, and Josie was already in her eighth month of pregnancy. Not everything went smoothly, as she expected. She was put to rest for an entire month in her first trimester, but now she was almost at the end. 

Josie is stretched on the common room’s couch while eating chocolate and facetiming Alyssa. Being pregnant was never an excuse to take a sabbatical to her. 

“How could you not know your mom had journals with her research in it?” Alyssa asks incredulous. 

“I don’t know honestly, I found the box with the recordings but that dusty attic is a mess. I must’ve missed them.” 

“Damn Josie, Cancer Immunotherapy research? This is huge.” 

“I know. This would be life changing, Lyss. I mean imagine the amount of people I could save with this. And...I hate that she didn’t tell me about this when she was sick.” Her tone saddens.

“If her trial wasn’t working back then it means there was something missing, maybe she knew it wouldn’t work. Or maybe she even tried it at first but still didn’t work.”

Josie sighs and shakes her head, trying to remove that sad thought. “Anyway, Bennett suggested that I should finish what she started. She offered to help, but of course my name would be on the research since it’s kind of my legacy.” 

“Josie this is amazing.”

“Well, not like a 3D printing machine that prints actual hearts, but...” She smirks.

“I’m spending days and nights near that thing! Josie, I’m telling you, it’s printing an actual heart.”

“You have to show me when it’s done!” 

“Of course.” 

Josie tries to straighten her back struggling to move her huge belly along with her, while Alyssa sees it all.

“Where are you going now?”

“To check on Hope’s patients. I’m pregnant, not quadriplegic.” 

“She says but still sits most of the time.” 

“Hey! I’m carrying two baby yodas inside of me. They press on my back and my bladder every second of the day. And my feet are swollen!” 

“Okay, now the hormones are talking.” 

Lizzie walks into the room and waves at Alyssa on the screen. “Green is so not your color, Chang.” 

“You look good Lizzie, how is your dating life going?” Alyssa asks teasingly.

It seems not to amuse Lizzie at all, who simply ignores the question and sits at the table to eat her lunch. 

Josie gives Alyssa a pointed look, and the girl doesn’t seem to think she said something wrong. “What? Is that a secret?”

“It’s not, but Lizzie says she’s back to her hooking up with no strings attached. No dating.” 

“It’s been over a year Lizzie, and she’s engaged to Wendy.” Alyssa says from the other side of the screen.

Lizzie rolls her eyes, really not in the mood to ger into that topic again. “Just change the subject you two.” 

“Well then, back to the pregnant woman...” 

Hope walks into the room with a sandwich in her hands, and she smiles at the brunette while giving it another bite. Then she bows next to Josie to see Alyssa. 

“Hi Alyssa, I miss you!” She sing-songs with a smile.

“Sure you do mama.”

“Babe? Babe...can I have that?” Josie gives Hope puppy eyes and glances between her and the sandwich in her hand.

“But you just ate chocolate.” Lizzie frowns in disgust.

“And now I want salty! I’m not in control of my system, okay?!” She shouts. 

Hope rubs a hand on her back and hands her the sandwich. “It’s okay, eat it baby. Before you eat one of us.” 

Josie gives her a death glare, freezing halfway before biting the sandwich. “You are rude and insensitive.” 

Hope chuckles and places a kiss on her forehead. “You love me.”

“Irrelevant detail.” Josie states.

“Remember my dad and Cami are coming home for dinner tonight, and probably Rebekah and Davina too. But I’m cooking, so you won’t have to move a finger.” 

“She’s pregnant Mikaelson, not quadriplegic.” Alyssa quotes he brunette.

“Shhh. Let her spoil me, for God’s sake.” Josie hisses at her phone screen, making Hope laugh in amusement.

Suddenly Josie groans in pain and bends in two on the couch, starting to breath heavily. Hope instantly holds her, fearing she might fall, and looks at her with worry just like Lizzie and Alyssa.

“Jo what’s wrong?”

“Nothing I...it was just a cramp I think. I don’t- Ah!” She cries again. “Fuck.”

“I think they’re contraction, Jo.” Lizzie says.

“No, no. It can’t be, it’s too soon. Maybe it’s just fake contractions. Maya said it can happen.”

“Twins pregnancy tend to end earlier than expected babe, it might not be a false alarm.” Hope explains.

“Well not in this case. We still haven’t chosen the names and...” She groans both in frustration and pain again.

“Tell those two they can’t come out yet! I need to book a plane first!” Alyssa orders from the other line.

“Let’s take you to Maya, okay? It’s going to be okay. I’m here.” Hope reassures her while Lizzie places the wheelchair next to her sister, so that she can move and sit on it. 

“Okay. Okay.” She breaths in and out, and Hope wheels her away while Lizzie holds Josie’s phone with Alyssa still on the line. 

“All flights are canceled?!” Alyssa groans in frustration and slaps the computer screen in front of her. 

“There’s a snowstorm coming, they closed everything. It’s probably going to be a rough night here if people don’t use snow chains.” 

Alyssa sighs and drops her hands on the table. “Just let me know if anything changes, okay?”

“Will do Chacha.” 

“And...Lizzie?” 

“Yeah?”

“Please just do something about it.”

Lizzie frowns. “About what?” 

“About Jade.” 

Lizzie scoffs and shakes her head. “It’s not gonna happen.” 

“If you hadn’t pushed her away she wouldn’t even be about to marry someone else! Just tell her how you feel.” 

Lizzie lowers her gaze to the table and keeps shaking her head gently. “Bye Lyss.” 

Then she hangs up.

// 

The brunette sits on her living room along with Davina, while Jade sits down the floor with Joy crawling around the carpet in the middle of toys and baby dolls. 

Hope, her father and Camille are cooking dinner just on the other side of the room, while Rebekah was still stuck at the hospital. 

“I smell snow.” Josie says.

“If it starts snowing Rebekah won’t ever be able to drive out here.” Davina says.

“I don’t think it’s going to snow at all. They get wrong weather predictions most of the time.” Jade says.

“Josie, honey, how are you feeling?” Klaus suddenly appears behind her placing a hand on her shoulder. 

Josie smiles softly. “You can tell your daughter I’m fine, for the twentieth time.” 

“Oh no, that was my genuine concern.” Klaus says winking at her. “But she did want to know too.” He whispers.

Josie observes Joy walking towards her and offering her a small doll, and she smiles tenderly at her. “Oh, is this mine? Thank you honey.” 

“It’s snowing!” They hear Camille screaming. “Damn, it’s a lot.”

Davina sighs and drops her phone on the couch. “Told you.” 

Suddenly Hope is ringing a knife against a glass of wine. “Dinner’s ready!” She announces. 

Both Josie and Jade share a look and burst out in laughter. 

“Who is she?” Jade asks ironically.

“A Mikaelson. Are we even surprised?” 

Josie tries to get up but as she stands on her feet, she feels excruciating pain down her belly, and suddenly her legs are weak, and all the weight inside of her shifts down.

“Fuck. Oh God.” Josie holds her belly in her hands, while the entire family rushes next to her with worried faces. 

“Josie what’s wrong?” Hope asks. 

Suddenly Jade’s expression shifts into a shocked face. “Hope...” She points to the floor. “I think her waters just broke.” 

“Oh no, no no no no no. Please not today. Hope, we haven’t even set the cribs yet.” She holds onto Hope while breathing heavily. 

“Josie, it’s okay, first we call 911. Okay?”

“They’re saying they can’t come down here in the woods, Hope. It’s snowing too much.” Camille says, already on the phone.

“Well I don’t care it’s snowing! Tell them that my wife is in labor and to put snow chains to their fucking ambulance!” She shouts.

“Hope, honey, breathe. Okay?” Jade instructs her, hinting at the pounding brunette in her arms, who was already too much freaked out.

“Okay, okay. Let’s just lay her on the carpet, gather some pillows to make her comfortable.” Camille says, picking up the pillows and throwing them on the floor under Jade’s confused gaze.

“Wait, what are we doing? Aren’t we taking her to the hospital?”

Klaus sighs nervously. “We don’t have the snow chains.” 

Jade drops her arms to her hips. “Great! Then she wants to blame it on the paramedics.” She looks at Hope, who gives her a death glare.

“Maya? We have a situation here.” Davina is on the phone with Maya and Rebekah, while Hope and Camille lay Josie down the floor.

The brunette is breathing erratically and the pain is only growing stronger. “Hope? Hope...”

“I’m here love. I’m here. It’s okay.”

She breaths in and out. “I think there’s something wrong...” She cries.

Hope looks at the three women in front of her, scared more than she’s ever been, almost asking for help. For someone who actually knows what to do.

Hope fixes her gaze on Davina, still on the phone. “Please tell them that someone has to come. Now.” Her tone serious.

“Okay, um, Jade, check how dilated she is.” Maya orders.

“What?! Me? I...I can’t. I’d have to-“

“For God’s sake Jade we’ve all seen each other naked! Just do it!” Josie screams. 

She doesn’t have to say it twice, and Jade checks how dilated her cervix is, focusing on what she feels. “Okay. I...I feel a foot.” 

“A foot?” Maya repeats while on speaker. “Jade, what else?” 

“I...the cord. I feel the cord.” 

Hope’s face suddenly falls in silent pain, because even if she doesn’t know everything about birth, she knows some things. “Is it moving?” Hope asks in a small voice, but Jade doesn’t answer at first, and Hope bursts out screaming, panicking. “Is it moving?! Jade!”

“No! It’s not. It’s not.” She panics.

Josie abandons her head on Hope’s lap and covers her face with her hands. “No, no no...Hope?” 

Hope quickly grabs her hands and meets Josie’s gaze. “It’s okay baby, I promise. You’re gonna be fine, all three of you.”Then she looks at Davina who’s holding the phone in the air. “Maya, tell us what to do, please.”

“Hope, she needs a C-section, now. Or she might lose one of them, or both.” Maya says.

“Without an ultrasound we can’t say how they really are in there.” Rebekah adds. “You have to be quick.”

“You do know that what you two are suggesting it’s crazy, right?” Klaus says. “We can’t even give her an epidural!”

“Klaus.” Camille calls him out.

“There’s no time. If you have any surgical tools in the house, take them, sterilize and do it!” Rebekah screams from the other side. “Jade?”

Jade widens her eyes scared. “What? No. That’s...I can’t do that. She’s...she’s gonna bleed out. No.” 

“Jade, please.” Josie looks at her with pleading eyes and her face wet with both sweat and tears. “You have to save them. Please. I want you to do it.” 

“No! The ambulance will come. I’m not risking your life!” The blonde screams.

“And I’m not risking my girls life. So you save them, okay? You save them, Jade. I don’t care what comes next.” 

Hope shakes her head in denial. “Stop it. You’re all going to be fine.”

Josie smiles softly and squeezes Hope’s hand in hers, not saying anything, because the knot in her throat was choking the words inside her. 

Hope looks at the blonde in front of her, her voice small and broken, but still trying to hold back the tears. “Jade, please.” 

“Here’s the tools.” Camille says. 

“Sterilize them.” Jade orders, doing the same with her hands. 

Jade places herself in front of Josie, holding the scalpel in her hands. She breaths in and out. She can’t panic now, not like she did back in the elevator with Landon. She’s better now, she’s good.

And it’s Josie’s life in her hands. 

She glances one last time at the brunette, who nods in understanding, waiting for Jade to make the cut.

“Okay, I’m going.”

The pain Josie goes through is a kind of pain that’s worse than contractions, worse than anything she’s ever felt before. Probably the same pain you must feel when a pole goes through you. She feels her body being cut open in two, and the screams are far from human. Like the pain is. 

The worst ten seconds she can remember. The last thing she remembers, before she blacks out, and everything goes quiet.

And only then, in those quiet moments after the storm do we learn...who was strong enough to survive it?

\\\

**2 hours later.**

Jade stands outside Josie’s room, staring through the glass at the brunette’s sleeping body in the hospital bed, and Hope sitting next to her, struggling to keep her eyes open. But Jade knows she wouldn’t move from her side despite that. 

She sighs tiredly, still shaken by the latest events, and right then Rebekah approaches her in the hallway, smiling at her. “You did good, Jade. You saved them.” 

She smiles weakly. “That was the scariest thing I’ve ever had to do.” 

“I know, but it also proved how good you are. I’m proud of you.” 

They exchange one last smile before Rebekah walks away, and Jade sees Lizzie coming right that way, after being stuck at home as well until the storm ended. 

She lets out a breath of relief and speeds up to rush towards her, and before she knows Lizzie is holding her tightly, and Jade loses her balance for a moment before holding on to the blonde twin and melting into the hug. 

“Thank you. Thank you...” She whispers.

Jade smiles and rubs her hand soothingly on Lizzie’s back. “Anytime.” 

Lizzie breaks the hug and stares into green eyes with an impulse pressing in the back of her mind, an impulse on which she can’t act, because it would be wrong. It would be messy. It would be...

“Jade?” 

The moment is suddenly broken by Wendy standing behind them, and capturing Jade’s attention, while the two instantly put some distance between them. 

“Hey.” Jade smiles at her fiancée. 

Lizzie silently walks away and her eyes find Josie’s room. She decides to go in, Josie being the main reason she’s there, and doesn’t look back.

//

When Josie opens her eyes it’s probably the middle of the night. She recognizes the hospital’s surroundings, and everything is quiet around her, just like when she passed out. She fears she might be dreaming for a moment, that maybe she’s dead, but her fear suddenly disappears when she notices Hope and Klaus hiding in the dark of the room, along with two tiny humans in both of his arms. 

Hope smiles softly and walks over the brunette’s bed, resting a hand on her forehead and placing a gentle kiss on her lips. “You’re okay baby.” 

Josie smiles tiredly, and tries to open her mouth to speak, but feeling it too dry. She clears her throat and swallows hardly, then tries again. 

“How are they?” Her voice hoarse.

“They’re beautiful. And healthy.” 

Josie smiles. “Yeah?” 

Klaus walks next to her with both babies in his arms and places each of them in Josie’s arms. Her heart melts as soon as she lays eyes on them.

“Oh God...they’re perfect.” She whispers. 

“Like their mother.” Hope says. 

Josie rolls her eyes and shakes her head, glancing at one of her baby girls. “Hayley looks just like you.” 

Both Hope and Klaus stare at her blankly, probably surprised by the fact that Josie had just named her daughter like the woman they both loved and cared for. 

Hope smiles widely with tears in her eyes, but doesn’t cry. Josie doesn’t know how much Hope had cried already at the thought that she was about to lose her a few hours before, and she doesn’t need to. 

“What about her?” Klaus asks. “She was the first to come out, you know.” He smirks. 

“Maya said...that Hayley was struggling. There was low oxygen levels so she was gasping to breathe and she must have inhaled amniotic fluid. But she’s okay now, she just needs to stay in the incubator a few days more, that’s why it’s here.” Hope hints at the incubator in the room. 

“And this little one was probably trying to save her sister by pushing down, but got stuck in the cord. You literally have two mini warriors here.” Klaus smiles.

Josie scoffs and stares at them with tears in her eyes, now thinking that she might have lost them both. 

The baby stirs her head in a cute way, and Josie can’t help but smile at the small action.

“Grace.” Klaus says, capturing the girls attention. “She has delicate features, looks just like a porcelain doll. It just makes me think of that name as the right one for her.” 

Josie looks back at the newborn in her arms and smiles softly. “Our little Gracie.” She whispers. 

Hope places a kiss on Josie’s forehead and then rests her head against the brunette’s. 

“Hope?” 

“Yes?”

“Thank you...for believing in me.” 

It might seem a foolish thing to say, but both girls know how much Josie was scared that everything could go wrong. How she was afraid to let Hope down, although she could never do that. Hope would never make her feel any less of the amazing woman she thinks Josie is. 

Hope smiles and stares at Josie with tenderness, brushing her thumb on her cheek. “Remember when you said I was your hero?” She pauses, “You are mine.” 

And when the storm ends, and no one is one step closer to death, and the snow rests quietly....you will even be able to enjoy the view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys...the cute moments I have planned with these kids 😭


	41. Chapter 41

One day you wake up thinking you have it all. You never know when you’re going to lose something. Someone.

You never know when chaos is gonna explode.

“Hayley’s ready!” Josie shouts. “Are you done with Grace?” 

“Just one second!” Hope shouts back from the bathroom.

She completes Grace’s cute outfit with a pink headband and smiles proudly at the baby girl sitting in front of her. She gasps in surprise to make her smile. “I knew this would be perfect. You look just like mommy! Yes you do, don’t you?” She says softly and playfully, and Grace hints a smile before putting her fist in her mouth, typical of babies. 

“Now let’s go before mommy leaves us here.” 

She walks out of the bathroom with Grace in her arms, and out of the house, finding Yogi laying on the porch like he had just ran a marathon. 

“You look miserabile buddy. What’s up with you?” Hope asks. 

Josie walks back to the porch from the car where she had just set Hayley in the car seat, and smiles at the sight of Hope talking to Yogi.

“He’s not very sociable this morning. Just leave him be.” Josie says.

“Maybe we should take him to the vet or something. He looks sad.”

“Or, he’s about to hibernate.” Josie suggests.

Hope gives her a pointed look. “It’s June. Bears don’t hibernate in June, Josie.”

Josie smiles amused. “Then maybe he just doesn’t like you anymore.” 

Hope opens her mouth in offense. “Everyone likes me.” She states.

“Love has made you haughty, babe.” 

“Doesn’t he look a bit overweight to you? Maybe he has diabetes or something.” Hope says, while keep studying the bear.

Josie frowns incredulous at what she just heard. “Are you fat-shaming him now?” 

Hope rolls her eyes and walks down the stairs and towards the car, walking past the brunette. Josie chuckles in amusement, and while Hope sits Grace in the back seat next to Hayley, Josie opens the door of the driver seat. 

“Jo, I forgot Gracie’s bag. I’ll be right back.” Hope says.

“Don’t forget to lock the door!” She shouts. Hope rolls her eyes again. 

_Just because she forgot to lock it that one time...._

_Okay. It was five._

She walks back in and takes the bag, but her phone rings in the meantime, an anonymous number. It could be anything important, and as a doctor, she always answers.

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this Dr. Hope Mikaelson?” 

“Yes, who’s asking?” 

“Dr. Mikaelson, I’m Dr. Wilson and I work for the US Department of Health & Human Services. We’ve heard about your works and trials and we were really impressed, so I was calling to tell you we would like for you to join our brain mapping initiative. It’s a huge step for us and neuro medicine. And not to mention a great opportunity for your career.” 

Hope listens carefully to every word, having a hard time processing it all. 

For the second time there was an opportunity for her, a huge one, and she was scared as hell to think about what that meant.

//

“Well, what did you tell her?” 

“I...was a little surprised at fist, but of course I told her that she should go. But you know her, Jade.”

Jade sighs from the other side of the phone. “Yeah. Maybe I should talk to her too, see if I can get to her.” 

“Please do. Honestly, I don’t want her to give up on such a big opportunity because of me or our family again.”

“Neither do I, so I’ll try to bully her into taking the job.”

Josie scoffs a laugh. “Trying to bully the softest woman on the planet, sure. You would feel bad for even yelling at her after five minutes, trust me.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jade says.

Her attention is captured by noises coming from the other room, hearing more than one voice. She peeks out in the corridor and sees Lizzie walking out only in her underwear and go to the bathroom. Then she sees her coming out again with something in her hands, and goes back into her room.

“Jade? Are you still there?”

_Was that a condom?_

“Jade?”

Jade shakes her head and goes back into her - old Josie’s - room, closing the door. “Yeah, yeah. I’m here.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, um, I think Lizzie is with someone. But nothing new.” She chuckles nervously.

Josie sighs sadly. “She started bringing strangers in the house now? Jade, you have to tell her she can’t do that. I can’t even believe she isn’t being considerate of Joy.” 

“It’s okay Josie, really. It’s her house after all, I just happen to live here because I couldn’t certainly live in a trailer with a kid.”

“No, Jade. You’re family. You’re my sister too. And Hope is Joy’s mother. It concerns all of us, including Lizzie.”

“Yeah Josie, but technically I’m moving out in a few weeks, so I don’t feel like making demands right now.” 

Josie sighs. “Does she at least talk to you or just barks at you every time you do?” 

“It’s a fifty-fifty.” 

“Jade, be honest with her. Or I’m stepping in.” 

Jade rolls her eyes. “Fine. I’ll...try. Are you at the hospital?”

“I’m starting my shift now. Oh, hi Rebekah. Rebekah says don’t be late.”

“Okay, okay. I’m coming.” 

Jade prepares Joy in no time, then she takes a quick shower and puts on comfy clothes, not feeling like dressing up too much that day. She leaves the house after twenty minutes, Lizzie still in her room with who knows who. 

She looks up at the sky before walking towards the car. It’s covered with dark clouds, which explains why her mood is so blue today. 

She takes a deep breath, “God, just get me through this day.” and walks to her car.

//

“They say it should be raining badly tonight. I called maintenance to make sure it’s all good with the generators so we don’t have problems with the OR’s.” Bennett says.

“Let’s pray we don’t have to operate in the dark.” Rebekah says.

“Positivity babe, never heard of that?” Davina asks.

Rebekah smiles softly and then places her chart on the desk to write, while Jade finally arrives in her work clothes and approaches the three women standing there in the hallway.

“I’m here. What do we have?” 

“Wow, how much enthusiasm today.” She says sarcastically, studying the blonde’s face. “Are you okay? You look as if you’re dying today.” 

“I’m just moody. I’m meteoropathic, okay?” She bursts out.

“Good morning!” Hope says cheerfully, jumping onto the four of them. “I’m going in the OR to take out a huge tumor from a woman’s brain and you’re all invited to watch.” She smiles widely.

“Well, at least we know she isn’t meteoropathic.” Bennett says.

Hope frowns. “Why would I? Bad weather doesn’t necessarily mean it’s gonna be a bad day.” 

“I wonder when you adopted this philosophy.” Rebekah says amused.

“Hope, Josie told me...” Jade starts, but Hope is quick to interrupt her.

“Of course she did.” Her wide smile doesn’t flinch. Annoying. “That’s why I’ll be avoiding the both of you all day.” She starts walking backwards. 

“Hope Andrea-“ 

“And...I’m gone before you can say it!” She disappears behind the corner, but Jade still shouts.

“-Mikaelson!” She sighs, then faces Rebekah again. “Just keep me busy, please.” 

“We have to check on the triplets born early this morning. Tommy was having trouble breathing and little Marcus vitals seem stable, while Sophie is doing good.” 

Jade reads down the chart and then back at Rebekah. “Tommy’s chart reminds me of Joy’s. She was having the same trouble when she was born and months later still, then we did x-rays and found out she had a heart murmur. He might have the same problem.”

“Order an x-ray and then check on the others. I’ll be in the OR for a while.” Rebekah says, then both of them walk in opposite directions.

//

Jade is checking on the babies in the incubators along with Lizzie, who is standing a few feet afar from her, but Jade can see her clearly. She keeps glancing at her from time to time, while Lizzie seems not to notice at all. 

Until she does.

“Do you have that staring problem too?” Lizzie asks. 

Jade quickly looks away and tries to formulate a logic sentence. Talking to Lizzie hasn’t been so easy in the past year. After Josie’s wedding everything between them seemed to go downhill, and the more Jade tried to be Lizzie’s friend, the more Lizzie pushed her away. 

Eventually, despite still living together, they barely even talked anymore. They simply share a roof, even if not for much longer. 

Jade is getting married in two months. She doesn’t even know how she came to that. She would’ve never pictured her life with someone who was not Lizzie, but according to Jade, the girl has moved on, and so has she. 

“I’m not...staring.” She says, but the uncertainty in her voice betrays her. 

Lizzie raises her eyebrows and Jade sighs silently, then clears her throat. “I need to tell you something.”

Lizzie turns all her attention to Jade, her face emotionless. “Okay. What?”

“Um.” She pauses, “I believe you were with someone last night?” 

Lizzie simply nods. “Yeah, so? I always bring someone home.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s why I need to ask you to stop doing that.” She says, anxiety increasing at every word.

Lizzie scoffs a laugh to her face. “Last time I checked that was my house.”

“It’s our house, Lizzie. And there’s a child. And we can’t have strangers coming in and out of the house like it’s nothing...”

Lizzie frowns. “It’s not like they’re going to come to your room and kidnap the baby, Jade.”

“I don’t know that, because I don’t know who you sleep with. And I’m just thinking about Joy.” She insists.

Lizzie chuckles bitterly. “Are you? Or are you just bothered by the fact that I bring people home? As if your fiancée doesn’t stop by every day.” 

“But Wendy is not a stranger.” She argues back, “And I don’t care who you sleep with, but since it’s never the same person, I feel like making it a problem.” 

Lizzie laughs even more now. “I can’t believe the girl who used to screw around all the time is giving me the moral lecture.” 

Jade feels her insides burning with anger, and she slowly can’t hold it anymore. “Well that girl grew up, as you should too. We’re not stupid kids anymore Lizzie, and I’m only asking you to stop at least while I’m still living under that roof.” 

“So I should stop seeing people because you’re asking me nicely?”

Jade scoffs a bitter laugh and shakes her head, ready to surrender. “You know what Lizzie? Just forget it. Have all the people you want, if that pleases you. By all means, you couldn’t care less that there’s a child, _my_ child, in the house.”

“Don’t do that!” She bursts out. “Don’t say that as if I don’t care about her because I love Joy more than anything. This is about _you_ and what you don’t want to see, because it bothers _you.”_

Jade shakes her head and keeps silent for a moment, almost losing the ability to speak because of Lizzie’s assumption. 

That’s not what this is _at all._ _No._

“You think I’m mad you’re hooking up with guys or girls? I’m not mad!”

“Then be mad about the fact that it’s not boys and girls, but it’s just Sebastian.”

The name hits her like a bucket of frozen water, and suddenly a deadly silence falls between the two. Jade tries to hide how it brings back a long buried pain, which probably wasn’t that buried after all. While Lizzie’s face instantly shows regret for saying that so carelessly, but she also doesn’t apologize for it. 

Jade tells herself she won’t let this get to her. It’s something that happened a long time ago. She’s moved on and she’s with someone. 

She’s not mad. 

“Why would I be mad? I don’t care who you sleep with.” Her voice comes out small and shaky, and she only wants to run away before Lizzie can point out the uncertainty in her voice. 

“Guys?” Josie rushes from the hallway out of breath, “Multiple traumas coming in. We need hands.”

They share one last glance before starting to follow Josie and don’t talk to each other again.

//

Hope stands on an open brain, her eyes completely focused inside to reach the tumor, while the movements of her hands are firm and clear. 

“Damn it. Some of the sylvian vessels have wrapped around the tumor capsule.” She whispers. Meanwhile Bennett keeps looking at the screen next to her.

“Penfield 4, please.” Hope says.

“Why Penfield 4?” Bennett asks.

“Because the penfield 4 will let me slide the arteries around the met. I need to dissect it free so that I can debulk the tumors, avoiding unnecessary trauma to the patient.” She explains calmly and without losing focus.

Bennett smiles from behind her mask, admiring Hope’s work as if it was God’s work.

“You really should take the job.”

Hope takes a deep breath, but doesn’t flinch, because she can’t get nervous now. She still has to keep herself focused.

“I’m in the middle of something here.” She says casually.

“You’ll be gone just for five days a week.”

“One day spent on the plane, going back and forth, and one day with my wife and my three kids. No. I don’t think so.” Hope says.

“Hope, you don’t have to erase your career in order to be a good mother and a good wife. It doesn’t mean you have to settle for what you have.” She explains. 

“I’m not settling. I’m doing just fine.”

“I could just fire you, you know?” 

Hope raises her gaze to meet Bennett’s for a moment. Then she looks back down, back on the brain. “No you won’t.”

They keep silent for the next two minutes, as Hope declares she’s done and the tumor is all gone. When Hope sees Bennett staring at her she can tell what she wants even from behind her mask, just by looking at her eyes. 

Hope sighs. “I will. Maybe.” 

“Maybe?”

“Maybe.” 

Suddenly the OR goes dark, and Bennett groans in frustration. “I told them to make sure the generators worked! Do I have to do everything myself in this hospital?!”

Luckily Hope’s patient was all closed up and ready to move back in her room. While Bennett makes sure other patients are okay and tries to get the power back, Hope rushes down into trauma, since multiple patients were coming in. 

And thunders kept coming down from dark clouds, rumbling permeating the air as the rain came crushing down.

//

“This guy was cleaning his gutters in hurricane-force winds.” The paramedic says while wheeling in a patient.

“It's like he wanted to spend the night on an O.R. table.” Davina says. 

The trauma room is completely overcrowded, there are too many injured patients and not many doctors, and the intern’s job is vital at this point. 

Josie is helping a patient whose stomach is bleeding due to a street signal flying right against her, but her injury is not critical. 

Hope rushes in too, seeing Jade wheeling in another patient. “How can I help?” 

“There’s a patient in room 3. Car accident. They asked for neuro consult.” Jade says.

“On it.” 

While Hope is about to walk away, suddenly there’s a school bus crushing right outside the hospital, and the scene just has everyone shocked and frozen, looking at how the bus rolls over down the road.

“Go! Someone go!” Bennett yells, and as many of them runs outside while some adults start coming out. 

Josie helps a limping woman walking slowly towards her, “Are you okay ma’am?” 

“The kids! Please help the kids! There are ten of them...they’re my responsibility. Nothing can happen to the kids! Please, please.” She cries in pain while the rain keeps pouring down.

“We will, I promise!” She shouts to overcome the noise of the thunders. 

Then she entrusts the woman’s cares to the nurse coming out with a wheelchair, while she runs towards the bus, where Hope and Jade are already pulling out as many kids as possible. 

Josie sees multiple beds wheeling inside with children, and suddenly a flash of lightning strikes on the bus, instantly starting a fire. Josie widens her eyes and quickly grabs the two kids who were stuck in between the broken windows. 

“It’s okay, you’re going to be okay. Are you hurt?” She asks urgently.

“I have glass in my hand.” The kid cries. 

“My foot hurts. I can’t walk.” The other says. 

Josie turns around to call for a bed for the two kids, and lays them both on it carefully. “We’re going to take care of you now, okay?” 

Suddenly Josie sees Bennett and Lizzie standing at the entrance, and Bennett screaming at someone in the bus, but Josie can’t see anyone. 

“It’s going to blow up! Get out of there!”

Josie turns around and sees Hope and Jade coming back alone, and she instantly stops them. “How many kids did you pull out?”

The two girls look at each other unsure. “8? Maybe 9?” Jade says.

“Why?” Hope asks.

“There are ten kids. There have to be ten kids! Someone is missing.” Josie panics, and both Jade and Hope impulsively run back towards the bus, while Josie keeps standing there, hoping for the bus not to blow up. 

Both girls try to make their way inside the bus, calling out for the boy or girl who might be inside. Hope being tiny, manages to slip in between the seats better than Jade, until she finally finds a little girl curled up in a seat. 

Hope smiles reassuringly. “Hi, I’m Dr. Mikaelson. I’m here to help you. Can you move?” 

The girl shakes her head.

“Are you stuck? Are your feet stuck?”

She nods with teary eyes.

“Hey it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m going to help you, okay?” She says softly. “But we have to do this together, so I need you to reach for my hands.” She leans her arms to grab the child, who instantly does the same. 

“Hope?! Did you find her?” Jade arrives behind her, just when Hope is about to turn back around. She holds the girl and helps her towards the way out, handing her to Jade behind her. “Take her.” 

“Hope we have to leave now. This bus is going to blow up at any moment.” Jade urges.

“Yeah, I’m...fuck. Come on.” 

“Hope? What’s wrong?”

“I’m stuck!” 

Jade doesn’t show but a wave of panic overcomes her, thinking about the girl in her arms and her best friend stuck in there. She acts fast, because she’s learned to turn her adrenaline into something useful, and she takes the girl out with her and carries her to Josie, who looks at Jade with the same panic Jade had as Hope told her she was stuck. 

“Jade? Where’s Hope?” 

“I have to go.”

“No..no. Where is she? Jade!” Her voice shakes and she is already close to tears, while Jade is already long gone.

“What is she doing?! Montgomery! Come back now!” Bennett screams again. 

“It’s Hope. Hope is not back.” Maya says with concern. 

Lizzie sees the fire growing wider, and she knows the bus is about to explode. Without thinking she starts walking towards it, but Sebastian is quick to grab her and stop her from going forward. 

“What are you doing?! It’s dangerous!” 

“She...she’s in there. Jade is in there.” She mutters in shock, while trying to free herself from his grab.

“You can’t go.”

Suddenly there’s a first explosion, and Josie’s heart stops beating. She stops breathing. “H-Hope.” Her voice barely comes out. She feels like in a nightmare where she wants to scream but she can’t. Her vocal cords are just numb. 

She sees Lizzie running towards the bus, but Sebastian catches her again, right before the second explosion, a bigger one, that makes the blonde twin jump back and lose her balance, while Josie’s fear suddenly voices itself out.

“Hope!” 

The firemen arrive right in that moment, and all they see between the smoke and the fire is two men running out and rushing behind the bus. Josie is about to run too, but then she sees the two men helping out two people get far from there, and only then she finally breathes again, seeing Hope and Jade alive and apparently unharmed.

Lizzie bring a hand to her mouth to choke down her sobs, while Josie just stands there still in shock, feeling numb. 

//

Both girls get carried inside, thankfully only with minimal burns and scratches, along with smoke inhalation, they are separated into different rooms and taken care of.

Lizzie suddenly bursts into Jade’s room, taking the girl by surprise. Lizzie only stands there breathing heavily and staring at Jade’s bandaged shoulder, and Jade stares back at her expectantly.

“What?” 

Her voice is soft and genuine, not arrogant or mad, because after what just happened, Jade couldn’t care less of what she was mad about until twenty minutes before. 

“You could’ve died.” Lizzie whispers, close to tears. 

Jade is caught off guard by the sudden vulnerability of the girl, not expecting her to be so shaken by this. 

“Well I...I didn’t. So...”

“You could’ve died!” She yells at her, surprising the girl once again. “What you did was inconsiderate and...and reckless! And I...” She stops in the middle of the sentence, sobbing and looking at the girl laying in front of her.

_I love you._

“Lizzie... I had to go back to Hope. I had to. I couldn’t just leave her there..” She explains carefully.

“Then what about me?! What about Joy and... and me! God, I...” 

_I love you._

Lizzie keeps pounding and crying, while Jade feels bad for not thinking at all about what she was doing except Hope. But Hope is Joy’s mother after all, so she tries to justify herself thinking that saving Hope was not just for her sake, but for Joy’s too. Except she didn’t think that her own life would be at risk too.

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t leave Hope there.” She says again. 

“But you could leave me?!” She screams, taking Jade by surprise once again. “What?! Do you think I don’t care if you live or die? Do you think it’s been easy for me seeing you with her?! You think that I want to sleep with other people? That you never cross my mind when I’m with someone else? You live in it! Constantly!” She laughs bitterly between tears. “I was never over you Jade, I never...wanted to get over you.” 

“Lizzie....”

“I know it’s my fault. That I pushed you away and then gave you free pass to move on, and you did. But I...I selfishly never wanted you to.” Her voice breaks again, “Because I love you. And you...” She chuckles again between tears. “You can’t possibly want to marry her, right?” She sniffles, while Jade looks at her with tears silently streaming down her cheeks. “You said that I was your home. That you would always come back home, to me.” 

Both of them start sobbing, and Jade has to look away, covering her mouth with her arm to stop herself from crying.

“Jade? Just please don’t move out. Don’t... don’t marry her. I’m literally begging you and I never beg, you know I don’t. But if..if you go I feel like I might lose you for good and I can’t lose you. Not you. You...”

“Lizzie stop. Please stop.” Jade begs her too.

And she does stop, but waits for Jade to say something, because she has to. She can’t stay quiet after this. And after she stops sobbing, Jade meets her gaze, her eyes swollen and face still wet with tears. 

She takes a deep before speaking. “You can’t say that now.” Her voice hoarse.

“Why? Because you don’t feel the same?” Lizzie asks incredulous. “You want me to believe you love her more than you love me?” 

Jade smiles between tears and softly shakes her head. “How could I ever love anyone more than how I love you?” 

They stay like this, staring at each other with tears and pain in their eyes, until the moment is interrupted by someone walking into the room. 

The two turn their attention at the door and see Wendy, who instantly brings her attention to Jade. “Jade, I came as soon as I could. Are you okay?” 

Lizzie quickly wipes her tears away and clears her throat, while Jade fakes a smile and reassures her worried fiancée. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just a scratch.” 

Almost like a deja vu, Lizzie walks out of the room without making any sound, and Jade notices she’s gone only when she doesn’t see her there anymore.

//

Josie bursts into Hope’s room with no kindness at all, scaring both the nurse and Hope. The brunette sees her sitting there with her leg and her arm bandaged, and a trail of blood on her forehead that probably needed stitches.

“You realize what you just did?” Her voice is full of rage, just burning to get out. 

Hope sighs and looks at the brunette feeling guilty, but also softly, because she knows Josie’s anger is linked to the fact that she was scared. 

“Josie there was another kid, you saw her...” 

“I know! Okay? I know there was another kid Hope. And I know that this might sound selfish, but why you?!” She bursts out in tears. “Why of all people, it has to always be you who risks her life?!” 

“Josie, I didn’t know I was gonna get stuck. I would’ve been out earlier if it wasn’t for that...”

“Or you could’ve been dead! Dead, Hope! Not hurt, not a freaking open heart surgery! Dead!” She screams again.

Hope keeps calm and lowers her gaze to the floor, trying to say something, but unable to justify herself.

Josie scoffs and sniffles, while tears keep falling down. “What was I going to say to Hayley and Grace then? That their mother died a hero? Because that’s not it to me. That’s just being stupid and...and reckless! You can’t do that Hope! You can’t put your life on the line whenever there’s a life or death situation. You just can’t! And what about Joy?! She was going to lose both of their mothers?!” 

“Just stop it Josie! Just shut up!” Josie instantly quiets down, never having heard Hope yell at her this way. “That’s not fair. You can’t throw that to my face because you know I would die to protect you and our family.”

“But I don’t want nor need you to die to do that! I want you to live for us, Hope! I need you alive, because I can’t do any of this without you. I just can’t. But you...you don’t get it. You don’t care...”

Hope opens her mouth in shock. “I don’t care? All I care about is you and the kids! Everything I do is for you!”

“So even if you died in that bus, that would’ve been for them? For what, Hope? So they can grow up with the ghost of you? With the trauma of their dead mother like you?!” 

Josie sees the instant pain on Hope’s face as the words come out of her, and she instantly regrets saying it. “I’m...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I didn’t mean...” She whispers.

“It’s okay.” Hope says. 

But it’s not, because Hope keeps her gaze down, and Josie can’t stand the fact that Hope won’t even look at her.

“It’s not. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m so sorry-“ Josie tries to take her hands, but Hope pulls both of them away, leaving Josie pending halfway.

“You said...you can’t do this without me. Then why did you tell me to go to D.C.?” She finally looks at Josie, but seeing those blue eyes so torn and sad feels like a slap to Josie’s face. “You don’t want me to leave, do you?” 

Josie bites her bottom lip and tries not to start crying again. She lowers her gaze to her hands, and plays with her fingers nervously, feeling almost ashamed and guilty because of how selfish she was being once again. But Hope doesn’t deserve that. Hope, the most selfless person she knows, who would give up on anything for her. 

It just doesn’t seem fair thinking selfishly about her needs, when she promised she was going to put Hope first. And she has to, even if it hurts. Because she loves her.

“It doesn’t matter what I want. I know you want to do this, so you have to.” She whispers. 

“I can’t leave you after this, Josie...”

“Well too bad...because I want you to leave.” 

Hope’s expression flinches in a pained surprise. “What...what do you mean?” 

Josie keeps staring at her emotionless. “Go to D.C. and do what you have to, we’ll be fine.” 

_“We_ as in me and you?”

Josie hints a weak smile and tries to steady her voice. “The kids and I will be fine.” 

She can see the tears trembling in Hope’s eyes, slowly pushing to fall down, but Josie’s heart can’t stand watching Hope crying right now, so she walks out of the room before that can happen.

I love you.

I don’t ever want to live without you.

You changed my life.

Say it. Make up your mind. Take what you want. Who you want. ‘Cause it might all be gone tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh oh


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // cancer 
> 
> I suppose you know by now that sometimes there might be stronger themes in the chapters but still I feel like warning you guys because I understand it can be triggering. 
> 
> Also, I am not at all an expert, although I do some research before writing sometimes it might still not be accurate js 😭 
> 
> sorry in advance for the angst.

Josie wakes up for the third morning in an empty bed. It’s summer and yet, she feels so cold. 

She can’t remember the last time she slept without Hope by her side, and the thought that this might be how she has to live from now on only makes her feel lonelier. 

It’s been three days since she last talked to Hope, since their fight. If it wasn’t to talk about Hayley and Grace, they wouldn’t even be looking at each other. 

The thing is, it just hurts. And it’s sad. Neither of them is mad anymore. There’s just an awful amount of sadness weighing over them. 

The fact that they’ve come to this is not like any other stupid fight they usually have, Josie knows that. Hope never avoided her like this, and as much as Josie wants to be tough and pretend it’s going to be okay, she’s honestly still scared as hell it won’t be.

She feels Hope slowly slipping away. She fears that she might have ruined everything again, and that everything might change if Hope leaves for D.C. and Josie doesn’t go with her. And to this time, because she’s scared, she would leave, but it still wouldn’t be what she really wants.

Her mother’s research with Bennett is going well, and she would be giving up on an opportunity for her career if she chose to leave now. 

Does she have to choose? Hope or her job?

God. Alyssa would know what to say about that, if she only were there. 

The brunette sighs and forces herself out of bed. She walks to the kitchen and finds it empty. She’s alone. She sees a post-it note hanging on the fridge before opening it.

_I have surgeries. Hayley and Grace are at Freya’s. I’ll see you later._

Even a simple post-it note makes Josie cold to her bones, and she tries to shake off the shivers by taking a hot shower, then she gets ready for work. 

She hopes that something good can turn this day around.

//

Hope walks out of the O.R. for the third time that morning, sighing and throwing her gloves and mask away. When she steps out in the corridor she’s met with Rafael, who smiles and stops in front of her. 

“You look...”

“Don’t say it.” Hope states with a demanding tone.

Rafael makes a face and nods in understanding. “Fine. How was surgery?”

“Good. Apparently surgeries are the only thing going well lately.” She mutters. She keeps walking and Rafael keeps following her along.

“Josie is still mad about what happened?”

“No, she’s not mad. She’s...” Hope shakes her head, unsure about what to say. _How was Josie?_ God, she hasn’t even asked her that in days. “I don’t know.” She finally admits.

“You two have to compromise somehow, without letting this get in the way of your marriage.” 

“I know we do, but honestly I can’t even find it in myself to talk about it again, because I’m...” She sighs heavily, “I’m scared of what we’re going to say to each other.” Her voice small and sad.

“I get that, but still, talk. You always say that communication is the key, you can’t stop doing that now.”

“I know.” She finally focuses his gaze on him. “How are you?” 

“I’m good. Except that Leo is toothing and I sleep even less than I normally do.”

Hope smiles softly. “Yeah, Joy is toothing too. She puts anything she finds in her mouth. Last week she bit my cheek and I had a purple bruise this big for three days.” She points to her cheek.

Rafael chuckles. “How is Jade holding up? I haven’t seen her yet.”

“She’s...taking a few days off.” She simply says. 

Which is true. The why, is not for everyone to know. After what happened, Jade decided to go to Pittsburgh and spend a few days with her parents, also bringing Joy with her. She needs some time away to think, she said, and she can’t think if she’s around Lizzie or Wendy. 

“By the way, I hope you and Josie can work things out.” 

Hope smiles weakly. “Yeah, me too.”

//

Josie and Lizzie are performing a solo surgery with Bennett supervising from the gallery. It’s a simple procedure, the teacher thinks, so they should be fine doing it without her guidance.

“We're almost 75% finished with this anastomosis.” Josie says.

“Even without hard-muscles boy’s help.” Lizzie says.

Josie scoffs a laugh from behind the mask. “I didn’t know we named Rafael that.”

“I have a name for everyone, even for you.”

Josie frowns. “But I’m your sister.” 

“So? You know I don’t make favoritism.” 

Josie chuckles and keeps following the procedure, as Lizzie does the same.

“I think we should do it together. Mom’s research, I mean. It’s not just my legacy.” 

Lizzie stops moving her hands and looks at Josie for a moment, but the brunette’s eyes are still on the patient.

“I don’t know if I want that.”

Josie looks at her in surprise. “Why not?” 

“I... I’ve taken the job in New York.” 

Josie suddenly freezes, and Lizzie can see it in her eyes, the sad surprise. 

“You’re... you’re leaving? When?” 

“Tonight.” And Lizzie notices Josie’s eyebrows raising in surprise again, and the blonde twin quickly goes on. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it before.”

Josie nods in understanding, unable to feel mad about her sister’s decision. She knows Lizzie needs this, and she only wants her to be okay. She only wishes that it could be there next to her, but Josie is realising that probably she should be used to people leaving by now, for one reason or the other.

“It’s okay.” 

They keep silent for a while, only focusing on the surgery. 

“Suction.” Lizzie says to the nurse. 

Josie glances at her sister a few times without her noticing before speaking again.

“What about Jade?” 

“What about her?” 

Lizzie’s composure almost amazes Josie. 

“Did she say something to you?” 

Lizzie simply shrugs and shakes her head. “She’s probably still planning her wedding, which I won’t attend.” 

“It’s just...it doesn’t make sense to me.”

“Yeah, like it doesn’t make sense that you and Hope are not even talking to each other.” Josie stares guilty at her sister. “You have to face her Jo. This situation is not doing any good to the both of you.”

“Yeah, I know.” Josie whispers sadly.

Lizzie gives her a tender look and sighs softly. “I’m sorry about leaving.” 

Josie hints a smile, even though Lizzie can’t really see it. “Don’t be. Just promise me you won’t start liking Liv more than me.” 

Lizzie chuckles genuinely for the first time in a while. “That’s a hard task.”

_“Lizzie.”_

“I’m kidding! Jesus, relax.” She laughs again. “You’re my twin. No one in the world can ever replace that.” 

//

Jade sits on the couch with Joy who’s trying to climb on the pillows. Jade keeps her hand behind her back just in case she falls, and she looks at her with tenderness, but her thoughts are elsewhere. 

Stefan opens the front door and as he walks in, his clothes are drenched because of the rain. 

“Are you sure they’re not going to cancel your flight tonight?” He asks.

“We both wish that.” 

Stefan shakes his head at her answer, then Valerie comes back from the kitchen with a plate of cookies and a bottle full with homemade orange juice for Joy.

“Here. She’ll like this.” She smiles proudly and sits next to Joy. 

Jade stares at the juice with a dubious frown, then she brings the bottle to Joy’s mouth, who takes just a sip, and then makes an amusing grimace of disgust, which brings a laugh out of Jade. She tries a second time, but she dodges the bottle again, while Valerie looks almost offended. 

“You need vitamins young lady.” She points a finger to Joy. “You should teach her to drink these kind of things Jade.” 

“I can’t force her, can I? But Hope seems to agree with that. She literally wrote me down a diet for her.” 

“She’s right. With Joy’s weak immune system there are important things to consider.” 

Jade keeps quiet, her gaze fixed into the void and her thoughts lost elsewhere. Valerie stares at her, realizing Jade must not have heard her at all.

“What’s bothering you?” She asks, getting her attention.

“I was just thinking about Hope and Josie. They’ve been...having some issues.”

Valerie nods in understanding. “I see.” She pauses and is thoughtful for a moment. “But that’s not all, there’s something else, isn’t there?”

Jade sighs and brings a pillow on her lap, keeping her gaze down, while Valerie sits Joy on her lap, but keeps her gaze on Jade.

“Lizzie told me she loves me. She told me to not get married.” 

“And what did you say?”

She shrugs. “Nothing. I just... It was overwhelming. I don’t know what to think.”

“Hm. I’ll try to make it easy for you.” Jade meets Valerie’s tender gaze, waiting for her to speak. “If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing. Even if you're scared that it will cause problems. Even if you're scared it will burn your life to the ground.” She pauses, “You know within you what you really want. Don’t be the only thing that keeps you from being happy.”

//

Bennett approaches Josie in the hallways with a rather concerning face, and Josie only hopes it’s because she needs her help for something.

“Parker, there’s something you should know.” 

Josie frowns in confusion. “What?”

“We...just took in a cancer patient, someone you know. You should come and see her.” 

“What? Who is it?” 

Josie walks with Bennett and enters two rooms later, and when she walks in, her face suddenly drops in shock.

“Penelope.” She mutters.

“Hey Jojo.” She smiles softly.

Josie looks torn between the two, wanting to know how, why, but also not wanting to believe it. Penelope was her first everything, and she can’t be sick. Not like this. Not of fucking cancer. 

“No...what...”

“It’s a third stage breast cancer. Tumor is bigger than five centimeters. Some clusters cells are nearby lymph nodes. It’s not easy, but it’s treatable.” Bennett says.

Josie glances back at Penelope. “How long?”

“Well, I’ve known for three months now. My doctor offered to treat me in a private clinic, but my insurance doesn’t cover not even half of the costs. Then I read an article about Josette Parker following her mother’s steps.” She smiles. “I want in into your trial.” She says.

Josie glances at Bennett with bated breath. “No, Pen...I don’t know if it works. With your stage of cancer we should follow the standard procedure.” She urges to explain.

“So I can live five more years an then cancer is back again?”

Josie shakes her head frantically. “Penelope, we’ve never tested the research and we’re just getting started. If it doesn’t work...”

“If you don’t start the trial you’ll never know.” Bennett steps in. “You have a good start, Parker. Your mother research was not a failure, it was just unfinished. If you start the trial with her, you’ll see what her body needs and lacks of. You’re not going blind.”

“But it’s still cancer.” Josie says.

Bennett looks at her in understanding. “But it’s still cancer.” She repeats.

And cancer doesn’t care. 

//

When Josie comes back home it’s past midnight, since she had to drive Lizzie to the airport. As she walks into the living room, she sees Hope asleep on the couch holding both girls in her arms, one on the right and the other on the left. 

Josie’s heart might explode at the sight of that, although it’s not the first time she sees them like this. Hope has been doing it since they were born, and even though Josie kept telling her they were too big now to be held at the same time, Hope still did it, even if her arms would feel sore afterwards.

Josie puts down her bag and keys and walks silently to the couch, slowly picking up Hayley, so to avoid waking up Hope, but the auburn haired girl soon opens her eyes, noticing the brunette over her.

“Oh. Hey.” Her voice is hoarse and still sleepy, and she tries to sit up still holding both girls. 

“Hey. I was going to put them to bed.” She whispers softly.

“Yeah, I’ll help you.” 

After both girls were put down next to each other in the crib (just like Josie and Lizzie used to sleep), Hope goes to the kitchen for a drink, while Josie follows her soon after, for the first time in days intended to talk. 

She looks nervously at Hope, and the neurosurgeon looks even more so, now that Josie took the guts to face her. 

“How was your day?” Josie starts saying.

She really doesn’t mean to fight. She only wants them to make up and go back to how they were before. 

“Good. It was good. How was yours?” 

“Not that good.” Josie smiles sadly.

“Yeah I...heard about Penelope. I’m sorry.” She says genuinely.

Josie nods and then meets Hope’s gaze, this time both of them staring without being able to make a sound. It’s probably because it feels like they haven’t actually seen each other for so long. It feels so long.

Josie is the first one to break the silence. 

“I wanted to talk to you.” Hope simply nods waiting for her to go on. “I’m sorry for...everything. And I’m telling you again...that you should go, I really want you to, and I promise I won’t be resenting you for that.” 

Hope nods and nervously bites her bottom lip. “Josie...I won’t be able to come home for the first three months.” 

Josie frowns in confusion. “But you said...”

“I know what I said.” Hope states tiredly. “They called me again today. I have a flight in four hours, if I still want it. They want me to start right away.” 

Josie’s jaw drops open and she slowly sits on the couch, while Hope still stands in the middle of the living room, unable to even look at the brunette.

“Um. O-okay, so...” Josie tries hard to be mature about it. She tries, tries, tries... “So you’re still going?” 

Hope only stares at her emotionless for a few moments, then she nods. “Yeah, like you said, I have to do this.” She whispers.

Josie keeps nodding in understanding and hints a weak smile. “Right.” 

She can’t believe Hope took the decision by herself. Leaving so soon without telling her or talking to her about it. But what difference does it make, right? 

Josie still wants her to do it. She told Hope herself.

“Josie?” 

Josie looks back at her, and she thinks she can see Hope’s teary eyes in the dark of the room. 

“You said you would put me first, instead here we are...I am one step out of the door and you still would rather beg me to stay than follow me.”

Her tone is sad but accusatory, and Josie never deals well with accusations. 

“I’m not begging you to stay. I’m telling you to go.” She states.

Hope scoffs a bitter laugh. “Like you mean it.” 

Josie suddenly stands up. “Really, Hope? You knew I didn’t want to leave Mystic Falls. I didn’t take the job in Boston because of that. We’ve been over this already.” She bursts out.

“Yeah, and I took down Harvard too, because I put you first. _Your_ needs first. Like I always do.” 

Anger and disappointment. That’s all Hope feels. She’s never this straightforward. She’s never so harsh and almost insensitive, but so many mixed feelings and thoughts simply get the best of her.

Josie scoffs gets more agitated. “I am considerate of your needs, Hope! I’d do anything for you! But move away it’s just-“

“Too much? Past the line?” Hope says sarcastically.

“It’s something not open for compromise! Okay?!” She screams.

Hope laughs bitterly. “Nothing is open for compromise with you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Josie asks defensively.

Hope shakes her head and exhales heavily. “You’re only considerate of what I need and what I want only when it doesn’t come in between of what _you_ want.” 

Josie smiles sadly, but Hope can see the hurt in her eyes. “Seriously? That’s how you think of me?” 

“It’s a fact!” She screams in frustration. “I’m telling you I won’t be able to come home for months, but you didn’t consider even for a second to come with me!”

“I can’t leave, Hope! I’m finally getting somewhere with my career! I’m starting a trial, Penelope needs my help...”

Hope scoffs again. “Yeah, Penelope needs you.” Her bottom lip trembles while her eyes fill with tears. “You think I don’t?” 

“Are you really gonna compare? She is sick, Hope. And if anything, you wanted to push me to do more for my career, and now that I’m doing that, you want me to drop it?” She crunches her forehead. 

“You can keep doing your trail in D.C.! God knows how many opportunities you might have there!” 

“I won’t have the same opportunity!” She exhales deeply in frustration and runs a hand through her hair. “God. Look at us. Are we becoming my parents? Do you want me to just drop my career so you can and I’m just gonna be the mother of our children?” 

Hope shakes her head and looks at Josie almost in shock. “You think I am that selfish? It’s not even about me wanting to shine Josie. It’s about us. About you not being willing to do what you promised you would.” 

“No...no. I am willing to do it Hope, okay? I just can’t leave Mystic Falls. Not now. Is that so hard to understand?” She asks desperately. 

“I understand Josie. I always do. That’s the problem. I’m always...putting you first.” Her voice shakes, “While you wouldn’t even consider putting me first, just for once.” 

“Then why are you still with me?!” She bursts out in anger. 

“Because of the wall in our bedroom! Because of Hayley and because of Grace! That’s why I am still here. Because I meant everything I said. And I have been willing to make many sacrifices, and I always will be, but you won’t.” 

Hope visibly surrenders. She’s crying silently, and she stares at Josie in defeat, torn. 

“Penelope needs me.” Josie says again, forcing the words to come out, knowing that this wasn’t going to make things better, if not worse. 

“So first it was for Lizzie. Then for Jade and Joy. Then the research. And now for Penelope.” She says, her voice small and shaky. “When it’s gonna be for me?” She almost pleads. 

Josie starts crying and takes a few steps closer to Hope, who instantly jumps back, looking away. 

“Hope, please...” 

Suddenly the sound of baby screams and cries come from their room, and they both know their fight woke them up.

Hope sniffles and breathes out. “I need some time alone with them. Then I’m going to pack up my things.” 

“No. Hope...” 

Josie grabs her hand, but Hope just pushes her away and walks into the room, while Josie sits back on the couch and abandons her head in her hands, never having felt so desperate. 

//

Lizzie walks around the airport after passing through metal detectors to reach her gate. Looking at the big screen, she sees her flight is late, due to another flight from Pittsburgh being delayed. 

She sits on the waiting seats and texts Liv to let her know about the delay, then sighs and looks around her, bored.

After twenty minutes, the plane finally arrives and she gets in line for her gate. She’s completely distraught when she sees someone familiar walking next to her, and both of them stare at each other in surprise.

“Jade.” 

“Lizzie? What... what are you doing here?” She looks at the ticket in the blonde’s hand. “Where are you going?” 

“Um...New York. I figured it was time I did this.”

Jade nods in understanding, then she’s distracted by Joy moving in distress in her arms, and at the same time the voice at the microphones calls for Lizzie’s boarding.

“I should probably go now.” Lizzie says.

“Yeah, yeah...”

“Yeah. Okay.” She looks down at Joy in Jade’s lap and gently brushes a finger on her cheek, smiling softly. “Bye little sun. And take those vitamines, okay?”

Jade simply looks at the sweet interaction, then she sees Lizzie turning around and starting to walk away, and suddenly something brings out of her trance.

“Wait!” 

Lizzie turns around and looks at her expectantly, while Jade keeps stepping closer. 

“I don’t have my keys.” She says. And Lizzie frowns for a moment. “I can’t get in without the keys.” 

“I don’t have them..I think Josie should have a spare. You can stop by and take hers.” She suggests.

Jade breathes in, “No.” and out. “I can’t go home if you’re not there.” 

Lizzie’s face drops, unsure of what to say. “Jade I...” She shakes her head. “I can’t go back now...”

“Then don’t. I’ll come with you.” 

Lizzie’s eyes widen in surprise. “Jade, you’re getting married.”

Jade shakes her head in denial. “No. I...I can’t. If it’s not to you, then I don’t want it. It’s like I told you two years ago. That I would come back to you no matter what. It was always supposed to be you, Lizzie. 

Lizzie hints a smile, and Jade smiles too soon after. “So we’re doing this?” 

Jade smiles back. “Yes. But we’re doing this right.” 

“Right?” Lizzie laughs. “You want to get on a plane with me and you’re engaged to someone else. That sounds far from right.” 

Jade narrows her eyes at her. “Do you really want to judge me now?” 

Lizzie smiles softly. “Not really.”

“I want _you.”_

Lizzie darts her eyes around. “Right here?”

Jade slaps her hard on her arm, and Lizzie gasps both in pain and surprise. 

“I want to marry you, you asshat.” Jade bursts out.

“And you say that as you hit me?! That doesn’t look promising and I’m not really sure I want that to be honest.”

Jade tries to hide an amused smirk. “I can hit you harder if you want.” 

Lizzie smiles back. “Or you can kiss me.” 

Jade slowly gets closer, and just when their noses are brushing together she whispers softly, _“I’m not really sure I want that.”_ She still teases. 

“Just kiss me.”

//

In trauma, we're concerned with one overriding question. How did this happen? What was the mechanism of injury? How do we see past the mess and confusion of trauma to figure out what the damage actually is? Infinite possibilities put the patient on the table in front of you. Now you have to figure out, will they live? Will you be able to save them or are they a lost cause?

Josie sits on the floor with her back on the door. She cries, because it’s all she can do now. Hope left. Lizzie left. Everyone left. And she’s alone now. It’s her fault. She wanted this. It was all for her family, but where is her family now? 

Every part of a trauma tells a different piece of the story and until you look at each and every injury, you can't see what went wrong. We talk about the mechanism of injury, about where it all started, but the truth is, it's sort of a myth.

We can't boil every injury down to one single blow. What hurts us is cumulative. It happens over time. We absorb blow after blow, shock after shock, painful hit after hit. But even then, even if we know exactly how we got here, it doesn't mean we can fix it.

You can't heal every wound.

There’s a ring bell, and Josie forces herself up and opens the door, finding Alyssa standing there, who instantly softens as she sees Josie’s conditions. 

“I came as soon as I could.” Alyssa smiles.

Josie starts crying again as she throws herself in her best friend’s arms, finally finding some comfort in the middle of this heartbreaking pain. 

Alyssa holds her tightly and rubs a hand behind Josie’s back. “It’s okay. You’re not alone. I’m here.”

Even if you can’t heal every wound, it’s okay. 

We have to believe that even if something seems like it cannot be fixed, it doesn't mean it's broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so cute and bad at the same time
> 
> sorry if it’s shorter than usual :/

Christmas is known to be the most wonderful time of the year. Who never experienced loss might not understand why for some people it’s only a reminder of what they don’t have anymore. A sad time. 

Josie can’t remember a time when she was fully happy during that holiday. Usually there always was something missing, someone. Usually it was her dad. But now...now it’s a lot more.

Josie walks into the hospital in a rush. It’s insanely cold outside, even more inside those walls. 

“Time of death, 7:45.” Bennett says.

Josie enters the room hearing those exact words. She freezes at the sight of Penelope’s bare chest, while Bennett places the defibrillator down, and the nurse starts extubating the lifeless girl. 

She should be used to losing people by now...but the truth is, it never becomes any easier when that happens.

//

**1 month later.**

**Christmas Eve.**

Josie and Alyssa are decorating the tree with Jade and Lizzie’s help. It’s the first Christmas for Hayley and Grace and the first one for Joy with her little sisters, so they wanted to make it special.

All three of them play in between the decorations, stealing each others stuffed animals and Christmas wreaths. 

If her family wasn’t here to force her into being merry and happy, Josie probably wouldn’t want to celebrate at all. 

Processing Penelope’s death wasn’t easy for her, and the last month has been about trying not to blame herself for what happened and try to stay positive for her girls. She’s not allowed to give up nor let herself fall apart, and without Hope there she had to learn how to do it all by herself.

With Hope they used to help each other with everything, balancing everything together, but that wasn’t the case anymore. 

Still, Hope is coming back today after three months, and Josie hasn’t heard from her since that night she called and then hang up on her. Except for when she texted her as soon as she learned about Penelope, telling Josie she was sorry about what happened, but nothing more.

Josie expected Hope to leave it all aside and be there for her, but she didn’t. 

Josie maybe would’ve tried to talk to her again and fix things if that morning never came. But at this point, there’s nothing left to do but talk once Hope comes home, which will be soon.

“Hope said she just landed. She’ll be here in a few.” Jade announces.

Josie exhales deeply and places another ball on the three, while Lizzie rubs a hand behind her back in reassurance. 

“It’s going to be okay.” 

Josie forces a smile and nods with uncertainty. 

“Lizzie...why is the stylist telling me she already talked to you about _my _dress and that we’re good?” Jade asks menacingly, while Lizzie tries to hide behind the tree, unsuccessfully.__

____

She eventually meets Jade’s gaze, who looks at her with arms crossed on her chest and a serious face. “You saw my dress?” 

____

Lizzie presses her lips together nervously. “Maybe?” 

____

Jade throws a ball at her. “I told you not to do that!” She yells.

____

“I just had to be sure the dresses matched, okay?!” She yells back in defense. 

____

“Guys, not in front of the kids.” Josie says.

____

They don’t hear her.

____

“Well now you can bet they won’t match because I’m changing mine.” Jade says.

____

“Well then technically you would be changing...the one I changed yours with.” She mutters, scared of Jade’s reaction.

____

Since when had it become Lizzie the one who was afraid of the other? 

____

Probably it was due to the fact that since Jade was a mother, she’s become much more authoritarian, and it was actually something Lizzie enjoyed. Usually.

____

Except if she’s mad about something that concerns the wedding. 

____

“You chose my dress?!” She raises her voice more, “Lizzie, you aren’t supposed to see my dress!” 

____

“I hate the Holidays.” Alyssa mutters, then sits on the couch with a beer in her hand.

____

“I already forgot how it is! It’s really not that big of a deal.” She tries to brush it off.

____

Jade keeps looking at her with a serious face and then picks up the phone again. “I’m changing it.”

____

Lizzie rolls her eyes in annoyance. “Way to make sure you ruin the wedding pictures.” 

____

Jade picks up the star and throws it against her, but Lizzie dodges it. Then she picks up a used diper from the trash next to her, but misses her again.

____

“Jade!” Josie scolds her.

____

“Ew. That thing stinks!” Lizzie moans in disgust. 

____

“Dear God, Hayley? Grace? How big have you gotten. Was I gone for three months or 25 years? Please, stop the violence kids.” Hope jokes.

____

Only then they realize Hope is on the door step, and Josie simply stops moving. She had been wishing for this for weeks, months, and it still doesn’t feel real. 

____

Hope doesn’t see her right away, because Josie is half hidden behind the tree, and Joy is walking with a fast pace towards her. 

____

Hope’s smile instantly grows wide and she kneels down to welcome the child in her arms. “Mommy is here honey. Oh, I missed you so much. Oh! Your smell. I could eat you.” Hope fills Joy with kisses everywhere while squeezing her tight to her chest. 

____

Seeing the baby struggling to break free after a while, Jade comes to her rescue before Hope can actually start eating her. 

____

“Okay, enough of eating my daughter, she’s not a stuffed turkey.” Jade frees Joy from Hope’s hold and lets her run back to Hayley and Grace. 

____

She stands there and smiles at the auburn haired girl, then she opens her arms to welcome her in a tight hug. 

____

“Jade, I can’t breathe.” Hope chuckles.

____

“Imagine how Joy must have felt then.” She says, then she lets her go and gives her one last glance. “I missed you Hopey.” 

____

“You did? I didn’t. Not even a little bit.” Hope smiles widely and playfully.

____

“Bitch.” 

____

“If you brought the Christmas without the Merry come on in.” Alyssa asks.

____

“Um well, I brought a lot of gifts? So...I’d say I came with both.” She says, then places her bags on the floor.

____

Her gaze falls on Josie standing next to Alyssa. The brunette looks at her nervously, and Hope hints a soft smile. “Hi.” 

____

“Hey.” Josie forces a nervous smile.

____

A few seconds of awkward silence and stares follow, before it’s Hayley’s crying that gets Hope’s attention. 

____

“My princesses! Did you think I forgot about you? Oh you’ve gotten so pretty. Look at you two.” She picks up Hayley with an arm and kisses her on the cheek, then she picks up Grace with her other arm and squeezes them both to her chest. 

____

This moment here is for Hope the best one she’s had in months. Being away from their girls was harder than she thought, and she almost feels like she wants to become one and keep them with her forever. 

____

“We can start eating then.” Jade says.

____

“Someone should wake up Liv.” Lizzie says.

____

“Liv’s here too?” Hope asks surprised.

____

“Yeah, she’s jet-legged though. She’s been sleeping all morning.” 

____

“I’ll go wake her up.” Alyssa gets up and walks to the guest room, meanwhile Hope puts the girls back down and walks towards the door. 

____

“I should put these in the bedroom.” 

____

“Oh no, Lizzie and I got this. You stay with the girls. They really missed you.” Jade says nervously, eyeing Lizzie in a creepy and warning way. 

____

Again, Jade is scary. 

____

Lizzie follows her still looking confused but doesn’t question it, and helps Jade carrying the suitcases in the room with one hand, while holding Joy with the other. 

____

Hope stands up and turns around to face Josie, hands nervously stuffed in her pockets, both of them release a light sigh. 

____

“How are you?” Hope asks.

____

“I’m good. Yeah, I’m okay.” She says nervously.

____

More staring. 

____

It feels almost necessary. They have to make up for three months without those.

____

“How are you? Did you come far with the research?” Josie asks.

____

Hope nods lightly and then lowers her head. “Yeah, um, I have. It’s...pretty amazing.”

____

Josie forces a smile. “Good then. I’m glad you’re happy.” 

____

Hope scoffs and nervously bites her bottom lip before looking at Josie again. “You...you think I’m happy?” 

____

Josie is a little taken aback, especially because Hope’s tone doesn’t seem exactly cool.

____

“A-Aren’t you?”

____

“I don’t know Josie, are you?” 

____

Josie stares at her with her mouth half open, unsure of how the conversation could be escalating so quickly. 

____

“I’m...okay. I-“

____

“It seems like it. I mean you didn’t say much in three months so I figured you were doing just fine.” She says in a stern tone.

____

Josie frowns. “I told you I missed you and you hang up on me. You ghosted me. Am I the only one to blame here?” 

____

“You ghosted me too.” She says defensively, arms crossed on her chest.

____

Josie scoffs and looks at her as if she’s facing a stranger once again. “I was giving you space! What was I supposed to say? I was letting you live your dream, do your job, the one you chose over us.” She says bitterly.

____

Hope lets out a sarcastic laugh and nervously runs a hand through her air. “That I chose over _you?!_ Like I didn’t even consider you? You know damn well I wanted to make it work! And don’t try to put this all on me because you chose your trial, too.” 

____

“We both had good opportunities and we both needed to take them, Hope. Now what? Were you expecting me to give up on my trial and just follow you because yours is more important?” She raises her voice.

____

“Maybe it is!” She bursts out. “Is your trial working? Was it worth it to let me go and stay apart from you and my daughters for three months?!”

____

Josie tries to hold back the tears. She nervously rubs a finger on her lips and then shakes her head, looking at Hope with a pained face.

____

“I don’t even know who you are right now, Hope.” The auburn haired girl looks at her with a mix of guilt and sadness. “I did everything in my power to help Penelope. I know it didn’t work, but that doesn’t make me or the trial a failure. You leaving and not being able to see the girls it’s not my fault. You left willingly. And you don’t get to act like it’s only your job that matters!”

____

“I never cared about the job more than I care about you, Josie! I already gave up on a job before for you!” She yells.

____

“So what are you trying to prove? That you would give up on anything for me while I wouldn’t?” 

____

“Maybe!” 

____

“Really? You still think that?” Josie asks with a small and pained voice. 

____

Hope still tries to stay tough, but her voice comes out broken. “I just think that you don’t need me after all.” 

____

Josie shakes her head while a tear falls down her cheek. “I’ve been sleeping with Hayley and Grace by my side for three months because I can’t bear the sight of your empty side of the bed. I’ve been raising them without you all this time, trying to stay tough, because I wanted to let you accomplish what I thought you wanted.” She pauses, now Hope is silently crying too. “I never wanted you to go and you know it. I’ve always needed you. I will always need you.” 

____

“I never wanted to go, either.” Hope whispers sadly. 

____

They finally look at each other without rage, just a mixture of sadness and apologies.

____

“But it’s done, so you’ll stay there for nine more months and...come back when you can.” Josie says, trying to hide the pain in her voice.

____

“No, I won’t.” 

____

Josie panics for a moment. “What do you mean you won’t?” 

____

She won’t come back at all? Does she really want to end this here, after all they’ve been through?

____

“I’m not leaving again, Josie.” 

____

The brunette releases a sudden breath she didn’t know she was holding back. “You’re not?” Her voice hopeful and emotional. She could cry of happiness before Hope even gets to finish.

____

“I told them I couldn’t do it anymore and I wasn’t coming back. Being apart from you, not talking to you...it just made me feel so broken and dead inside...I’ve literally become the coldest I’ve ever been, and I’m not that person. I don’t want to be that person.” 

____

Suddenly she lowers her gaze and sees Grace crawling at her feet, while Hayley is standing and walking step by step by the couch, until she finally finds courage to walk freely and reaches Hope’s legs too.

____

Hope’s face drops in surprise, and she stares at the both of them, then at Josie in front of her. 

____

“They started walking?” She whispers. “When did they start walking?” 

____

Josie looks at them just as surprised as Hope and shakes her head. “They...they just did it. I swear they’ve never done it before.”

____

Hope picks the both of them up, like she always does, and kisses them on the forehead, holding them tight. She meets Josie’s soft gaze, and for the first time in months they seem to look at each other without anger.

____

“What if I wasn’t here today?” Hope cries. “I would’ve missed it. I would miss it all. And I can’t...I can’t miss more of them. Of _you_. I just can’t.” 

____

Josie decides to put everything aside and just kiss each other’s pain away. She cups Hope’s face in her hands and never wants to break the kiss. She never wants to stop kissing Hope. She doesn’t know how they even managed to not do this for so long. But it still feels the same.

____

No.

____

It feels better. It feels stronger. They are stronger.

____

When Josie finally breaks the kiss, under the innocent and clueless eyes of their little girls in Hope’s arms, she wipes Hope’s tears away. 

____

“You’re here now. You’re here.” She whispers.

____

Hope smiles softly but keeps crying silently. “I’m sorry I was so harsh. I should’ve known you were struggling. I promised you I’d always be there and I wasn’t...”

____

“Hope. Hope...baby.” She tries to calm her down and smiles softly. “I love you. I don’t care about what we said or did. I just never want to live without you again.”

____

“And I never want to fight like this again.” Hope says, still crying.

____

Josie smiles and pulls her back into her arms, also bringing in Hayley and Grace. 

____

____

Jade, Lizzie, Alyssa and Liv are lined up against the door, trying to eavesdrop Hope and Josie in the living room.

____

“I don’t hear any more yelling.” Jade says.

____

“Maybe they killed each other.” Alyssa says.

____

“In front of the girls?!” Liv hisses.

____

“I bet Josie killed her.” Lizzie says. 

____

Jade scoffs a laugh. “Please. Not even a serial killer would be able to kill Hope.” 

____

“She’s right. He would soften just by looking at her puppy eyes.” Alyssa says.

____

“Maybe we should check on them?” Liv suggests.

____

“And become accomplices in a murder? I’ll pass.” Lizzie states.

____

Jade rolls her eyes and pushes the three girls behind her, then slowly opens the door and pulls her head out, her eyes falling on the two girls holding and kissing each other.

____

Jade stares at them with heart eyes and breaks the moment of tenderness. “Awww. You made up.” She yells.

____

Three more heads peek out of the room, and both Josie and Hope chuckle happily looking at them.

____

“Can we eat now? I’m starving!” Alyssa shouts.

____

“You may come out now.” Hope says amused. 

____

“You guys planned this, didn’t you?” Josie asks. 

____

“Why would we plan on eating at 4 p.m. just to make you two patch things up?!” Alyssa says as if it’s the craziest thing ever.

____

“Honestly? Lizzie and I didn’t know it would work but I’d say we’re pretty good as Peacemakers.” Jade says.

____

Hope and Josie smile at each other and then Josie pulls her closer, squeezing her and placing a kiss on her head. She missed this. She missed her perfume. Holding her like this. Feeling her close.

____

And now she didn’t have to miss her anymore.

____

__**Christmas.** _ _

____

The afternoon goes by so fast that they don’t even realize it’s midnight, and as all is cleaned up they sit down the floor next to the Christmas tree to open up the presents. 

____

“Who was my secret Santa?” Alyssa asks. “This is sick! I love puzzles!” 

____

Hope raises her hand and Alyssa’s smile grows wider. “You get me now Mikaelson, you get me.” 

____

“Oh my God. Hope! Look at these!” Josie says cheerfully.

____

Hope sees the baby bear hoodies for Grace and Hayley and instantly loses it.

____

“Oh my God!” 

____

“When did you become the kind of parents who enjoy presents for their kids more than their own?” Lizzie genuinely asks.

____

“As if you don’t spend a fortune for Joy every time you go shopping.” Jade points out.

____

“You didn’t have to expose me like that, traitor.” Lizzie says, and Jade pecks a kiss on her cheek.

____

“I’ve never had all these presents before.” Liv says almost getting emotional.

____

“You deserve it, Liv.” Josie says, placing a her hand on her sister’s. It’s something new for Liv, because Josie was never the one looking for affection from her. She never really was affectionate at all. “You’re an amazing sister, and I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time when we first met. You’re family, and I hope you know you’ll never have to feel like you’re alone. Ever.” 

____

“You have your personal army of sisters.” Lizzie smiles softly. 

____

Liv starts tearing up and leans closer to hug Josie who’s sitting next to her, and so the night keeps going, between presents, hugs and tears, but happy ones. 

____

“Well, I’d like to say a few words.” Lizzie says, a glass of champagne in her hands. Everyone in the circle sighs and groans in pain, but Lizzie doesn’t let that stop her. “I’m not usually a great talker, and maybe it’s because I’m slightly drunk-“

____

“Definitely that.” Josie adds. 

____

“-But! I have just a few things to say to show you all my appreciation. So...” She clears her throat. “I think I speak for both me and Josie when I say that our life wouldn’t be the same without you guys today. I’m glad Josie decided to hang papers around the hospital to find us roommates...” She smiles at Jade, who smiles back. 

__“And I’m glad we got to do this all together, Lyss.” She glances at the raven haired girl, then at Hope. “I’m even glad my sister screwed you that night!” Everyone laughs. “If you weren’t in the picture, many things would probably still be shitty.”_ _

____

“Aw...Lizzie.” Hope softens. 

____

“I mean it. Talking to you is almost refreshing sometimes. You started by being the attending Josie was screwing around with, to being family.” 

____

“This is getting too much nauseating.” Alyssa says. 

____

“Well I have to agree with Lizzie. Even though Josie hated me at first I’ve always loved you girls. I used to think you were all better than me and smarter than me...I actually learned a lot from you.” Jade says looking at both Josie and Hope. 

____

Josie smiles softly and reaches for Jade’s hand. “For the record, I’ve never hated you. I just never wanted to sleep with you.” 

__Everyone laughs._ _

“I knew Josie would be my favorite since day one. You all sucked at first.” Alyssa states, and the entire room starts filling with noises and boo-ho’s, while Josie blows her a kiss. 

____

“I thought you liked me!” Lizzie yells feigning offence. 

____

“You thought wrong.”

____

Lizzie throws a ball of paper at her while Hope stands up and claps her hands in excitement. 

____

“Well, who’s ready to write down some wishes and throw them into the fire?” 

____

“I have no wishes for this year. I have everything I need right here.” Josie says smiling widely. 

____

“Boo-ho!” Lizzie yells. 

____

“Ugh. Time to puke.” Alyssa says. 

____

“So cliché Josie.” Jade says. 

____

“Straight rom-com kind of cliché.” Lizzie says. 

__Josie looks around her with a sad pout while everyone mocks her. Hope seems to be the only one smiling and having her back, in fact, she takes Josie’s hands and helps her stand up and holds her close._ _

“I love you.” Hope whispers. 

____

Josie smiles softly. “I love you too.” 

____

Hope turns back at them and starts yelling. “Hey! No mocking my wife or I’m throwing you all into the fire!” 

____

____

Usually it feels like there is always something missing during Christmas. Sometimes it’s because we’ve lost a lot, and what we’ve lost and who we’ve lost always comes to our mind during this time. 

____

But sometimes we also get to be happy. It doesn’t take a lot. It only takes family. It’s not about numbers. It’s about love. 

____

And the more we surround ourselves with love, the merrier Christmas will be.

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked the chapter and I also wanted to give you a heads up and tell you that this story is almost coming to and end :( It saddens me so much because I would honestly go on forever. It’s been my favorite to write so far, but I’m afraid to take things too far and maybe even screw up. I’ve also had less and less inspiration lately and University started and I don’t want to leave you guys hanging for maybe weeks or months for a chapter. 
> 
> But I have around 5/6 more chapters planned for you, so it’s not a goodbye yet.
> 
> See you soon <33


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope overprotective mom mode: on

We don’t wish for the easy stuff. We wish for big things. Things that are ambitious, out of reach. We wish because we need help and we’re scared and we know we may be asking too much. We still wish, though, because sometimes those wishes might become true. 

While Josie takes care of dressing up the girls for the day, Hope prepares both of their bags. Since she was back home permanently, things between her and Josie have been going way better and they were slowly getting back on track.

The good thing is that they don’t have to worry about blaming things on each other more they already have, because after her experience away from home Hope just realized it wasn’t what she wanted either. She’s indeed an overachiever, but she also cares too much about her family, and that will always come before any professional opportunity. She doesn’t think it comes as erasing herself for the sake of everyone else. It’s honestly about her own sake, too.

She’s a good neurosurgeon, the best in the State, even. She wants to do what she’s always done. Do her job with passion and love, with the purpose of saving lives. She’s not a lab rat. She never was. That life isn’t hers. 

Balancing their work life and taking care of the girls has been rather easy with Hope always there, and this also has been a blessing for their relationship. 

And their sex life, obviously.

Their connection feels stronger than ever; they move and think in sync better than before. They probably were never made to be apart from each other. They aren’t.

Sure, during the three months of raising the girls alone Josie thought she couldn’t do it without Hope, but their time apart made Josie realise that she could indeed do it by herself. She just didn’t want to. 

Maybe not being with Hope doesn’t affect her abilities of being a good surgeon and a good mother, but it affects _her_ as a person. She needs Hope for higher reasons. Reasons that probably no one could understand except them. 

In the middle of all these thoughts, they eventually get into the car and start driving towards the hospital. During the car ride, Hope’s phone starts ringing, and Josie takes the video call for her by pressing her finger on the screen.

“Jade, it’s seven in the morning. I’m not doing wedding talks with you.” She says, while she keeps her eyes on the road.

“You really are of no use to me, aren’t you?” Jade says. 

Josie chuckles lightly and decides to step in. “Is everything okay there?” 

“It is. Actually I was just calling to let that _butt-face_ wife of yours that Joy has a fever.” 

Hope widens her eyes and Josie can read her concern all over her face. “How did that happen? And how high?”

“You’re a doctor Hope, sure you know how kids sometimes get the flu?” Jade asks sarcastically. 

“Not my kids! I know it’s spring season but temperatures are tricky, it’s still cold outside, you should keep covering her with a hat and a scarf.”

“You think I don’t know you and Lizzie have an agreement? I know all about the pictures she sends you every day to make sure Joy is well covered and everything. You’re _sick_ , Hope. You have a disease.” 

“Hope! Seriously?” Josie smiles in amusement.

“I- look, you know I need to make sure of these things, okay? Why do you think I want to dress up Grace and Hayley every morning?” She asks turning to Josie.

“Motherhood will be the death of you.” Jade states.

“Shut up, Jade. And let me know what the doctor says.” 

“I never said I was taking her to a doctor. I _am_ a doctor, Hope. A pediatric surgeon. Rings any bell?” 

Josie shakes her head and tries to hold back a laugh, then glances at Hope with a smirk that says good-luck-with-that, while Hope tries to come up with a good answer.

“Right. Okay. You know what? Maybe I’ll fly over there tomorrow so you can take care of everything while I stay with her.”

“Liv can stay with her, Hope. And we’re already coming back to Mystic Falls in two weeks, Joy will be fine by then.”

Hope sighs anxiously. “I know but-“

“Hope.” Both Josie and Jade say in unison. 

Hope glances at Josie and then at Jade in the phone screen, shakes her head and keeps quiet. 

“You need to relax, okay? I have everything under control.” Jade says. 

“I know you do. I’m just...”

“Overprotective.” Both girls say in sync again. 

“You two stop doing that!” Hope yells at both of them. 

“Bye Hopey.” Jade sing-songs, then she moves the camera to Joy on her lap. “Say bye to mommy.” 

Hope smiles and softens at the sight of Joy, who moved her attention from her toy to the phone screen. “Mommy!” She waves and smiles widely. 

“Hi angel. I love you.” 

As the call ends, Hope notices Josie looking at her own phone screen with a confused face. 

“Everything okay babe?” 

“I was just nominated for the Medical Awards for my research. I- I mean my mom’s research.” She says, still trying to understand if that was true. 

Hope widens her eyes in shock and then smiles happily. “You are?! Oh my God, Josie you’re not a resident yet and you could win a medical award! Do you realise how huge this is?!”

“Oh my God. Am I seriously nominated?!” She looks one more time at the screen. “Look at that! That’s my name!” She shoves her phone in front of Hope, but then instantly pulls it back. “Oh no no baby, eyes on the road. Eyes on the road.”

“My wife is a legend. I’m gonna cry.” Hope says.

Josie laughs and keeps smiling widely. “Stop.” 

“See, I was right all along about you. You were never just an intern.” She says with a soft voice.

Both of them look at each other with a tender smile, and when Hope places her hand on Josie’s thigh, the brunette gently intertwines their fingers together.

//

“Oh I am so jealous.” Alyssa says. 

“I mean, I might not even win.” Josie says.

They walk in the corridors after visiting their first patients, and waiting for the results of their tests. They stop by the nurses station, and Josie fills some blanks on the computer, while Alyssa stands there watching her. 

“Getting nominated is already a huge thing, Josie. People will be throwing punches to get you to work for them.” 

Josie scoffs. “You’re exaggerating.” 

“I see what you’re doing. You brush it off like it’s nothing but in truth you’re gloating inside.” Alyssa looks at her narrowing her eyes.

Josie looks to her right and her left, then back at the raven haired girl. “I’m trying to stay humble.” She whispers.

“I should tape you on that.” She whispers back.

Hope walks by at the same time with a smile on her face, and peeks over the desk to get closer to Josie’s face. “Do you want to clip an aneurysm?” 

Alyssa rolls her eyes and scoffs. “Why couldn’t I fall in love with her?”

Both Josie and Hope laugh in amusement, then Josie turns her attention back to Hope. “Really?” 

“Yeah, really. Also, you guys are going to be residents in two months, and you two might start thinking about running for chiefs.”

“I can’t just steal your aunt’s spot, Brainy.” Alyssa says. 

Bennett interrupts their conversation by running to them in a hurry, her eyes laying on Josie first. “Congratulations Josie. I need all of you with me.” 

“Actually I have a surgery.” Hope says.

“Dr. Fell can take over for you.” 

The three girls start following her while Bennett fills them in. “There was a gas leak in a building which blowed up the entire thing. Many are dead, others are badly injured.” 

As they arrive into trauma each one of them run to the patients to do a quick check up. 

“Okay, abdomen is inflated. I believe there’s internal bleeding. Let’s wheel him in the OR now.” Hope says. 

“Pulse is not good. His breath sounds are shallow. His name's Nicky Hoffman.” The paramedic wheels in an injured man.

“Tension pneumothorax. Grab the biggest needle you can find.” Keelin says to Alyssa. “Thready pulses, multiple rib fractures with decreased respirations...his body's shutting down.”

“Could be compartment syndrome.” Alyssa adds.

“That could be why his radial pulses are so decreased. We need to do bilateral fasciotomies and relieve the pressure. Do we have a scalpel?”

“Pushing 5 of morphine.” Alyssa says. “Got it.” 

“Okay. Pulse is stronger now.” Keelin smiles at her. “Good job Alyssa.” 

Alyssa smiles proudly, and while Keelin moves to the next trauma patient, Alyssa keeps taking care of hers. 

“Mandy Green, 32, we had to bring her back twice. We found her stuck under a washing machine. Two broken ribs, one got her left lung. Pressure keeps going down. Her blood oxygen level is critical.” The paramedic says. 

“Okay, let’s rush her in the OR. Josie?” Bennett calls at her for help, but then the paramedic speaks up.

“Wait. There’s a kid. He must be no more than four years old. She’s her mother, they’re alone.” 

Both Josie and Bennett look at each other and then at the little boy standing at the hospital entrance. A nurse is trying to talk to him, but he brings his knees to his chest and hides his face behind them, refusing to move. 

“Nevermind. Josie, take care of him.” Bennett orders. 

Josie doesn’t argue or hesitate and quickly rushes next to him, placing a hand on the nurse’s arm. “I’ve got him.” So the nurse walks away, and Josie kneels down to meet his eyes, and gives him a soft and reassuring smile. “Hey, I’m Dr. Parker. What’s your name?” 

The boy doesn’t answer and keeps looking at her with distrust, but Josie doesn’t give up trying.

“You mom is in surgery right now. We’re going to do our best to fix her, okay?” She waits for a reaction, which doesn’t come. “I’m going to keep you company until she’s out, is that okay?” She offers him her hand and waits for him to take it, and after a few moments of hesitation, he does. 

Josie takes the boy with her to the cafeteria and offers him something to drink and eat, and after a few suggestions, he finally nods when Josie offers him a chocolate donut. 

They sit around a table and Josie places a napkin around the donut first, then hands it to him, who quickly gives a small bite.

Josie smiles while looking at him, and starts thinking how terrible it must have been for him seeing his mother in that state, the amount of fear and confusion he must be feeling, since he is so young. 

“I have to ask. Do you feel pain somewhere in your body?” 

He shakes his head in denial.

“And you’re absolutely sure? Even if you feel a little something, you can tell me. You know, if you let me check up on you, I can give you a few more of those.” She points at the donut in his hand, “And I can bring you to the hospital playroom.” 

She sees how the last part suddenly gains his attention, but he still hesitates on his answer. Instead, he keeps eating. 

Josie observes him taking a few more bites, when he suddenly stops and looks up at her with puppy eyes.

“Here.” He leans his arm towards her, “Hurts.” He says in a small and soft voice. 

Josie slowly moves his cardigan and takes a look at it. “Well, it’s not broken, but you do have a really nice scratch. That’s why it hurts, we should take care of that.” She says kindly.

He presses his lips together in a thoughtful expression, then glances at her again. “Then I can play?” 

Josie smiles softly and nods. “Then you can play.” 

//

Hope walks in her next patient’s room and freezes in shock and surprise when she sees Maya’s brother laying on the bed and Maya next to him. 

“Ethan?”

He turns his attention to Hope and instantly smiles and checks her out. “To this day, I still think my sister was a fool to lose someone like you.”

Hope chuckles lightly while Maya gives him a pointed look. “Always so out of place...”

“I’m just kidding. But you look good Hope. How are the girls?” 

“They’re great. I’m not gonna lie, I would take a sabbatical just to be with them 24/7.” 

Ethan smiles. “Well I seriously hope you won’t because I kind of need you right now.” His voice turns soft and serious.

Hope frowns and glances at Maya who is looking at her with the face every doctor has when there’s something really bad going on. She hands Hope Ethan’s chart with his scans inside.

“I have been to every doctor, Hope. Every time, it's the same thing. They look at the tumor and they’re defeated. But I know you won’t stop at the sight of those scans.” He says.

Hope raises her eyebrows and blinks a few times. She goes through the scans quietly before looking back at him.

“Ethan, you know I would have a plan even for the most impossible thing that falls in my hands, and I would take any risk, but this...I mean, this could kill you.”

“I know, but I want you to try.” 

Hope sighs heavily and glances at both siblings with a pleading gaze. “I can’t take that kind of risk on you. If it goes wrong...”

“Hope, it’s you or nothing.” Maya says. 

Their eyes lock together, and Hope reads the desperation inside them. She presses her lips together and lowers her gaze to the floor. 

“If you don’t try I’m done either way, Hope.” He smiles sadly. “Might as well give it a shot.” He shrugs.

Hope finally glances at them again and exhales deeply. She’s thoughtful for a moment, but whoever knows her, also knows Hope Mikaelson doesn’t give up that easily. Not even on what we would call ‘lost causes’. 

//

While Hope stands in a room looking at the scans in front of her, Josie silently walks in. She realizes how focused her wife is, so she knocks gently on the already open door, and Hope turns around absentmindedly, but smiles softly at the brunette.

“Hey baby.” Hope says, before turning back around to stare at the wall full of scans.

“What are you looking at?” Josie walks next to her. “Wow. That’s a huge tumor.” 

“It's a tumor on the spinal cord, Possibly a hemangioblastoma. You've seen one before?” Hope asks.

“No.” Josie scoffs. “God.” She whispers.

“You see how the tumor has worked its way up the spine? It's taken over the blood supply.” Hope explains.

“So it’s the perfect tumor.” Josie glances at her with a knowing smile. Hope instantly smiles back. 

“And the patient is...Maya’s brother, Ethan.” 

Josie gives her a sorry look now, but Hope’s gaze is still focused on the scans. She shakes her head, squeezing her own thoughts to think of a plan.

“He still has leg function. It’s honestly incredible. He shouldn't be walking. He should be paralyzed, dead.” Hope explains with such energy and passion, it would be weird for any normal person coming from outside, but not for her. Not even for Josie.

When a doctor, cases like this are both terribile and beautiful to work on. Maybe because as doctors, they also like to feel heroes. Win over the worst cases it’s rewarding on every level.

“You'd have to operate quickly, then, to take the tumor out?” Josie asks. “But, no. No, you have to cut the cord, paralyze the patient, to kill the tumor.”

“And I can’t do that.” 

“But it’s also the only way you can save him, right?” 

“Basically.” Hope sighs. “I should...take a look up close to figure out a real plan.”

Josie takes a look at the scans and then at Hope again. She places herself in front of her, finally capturing her attention, and Hope seems to relax under Josie’s soft touch and warm smile.

“You got this. I know you do.” 

Hope smiles and intertwines their fingers together. “What are you doing?”

“I was with the kid until now. He fell asleep. Bennett...she couldn’t save his mom.” 

“That’s terrible baby. Poor kid.” Hope says sadly. 

“They’ve contacted his grandmother, apparently his only relative. Now we wait.” She exhales and stretches her arms in the air just to land them around Hope’s neck and place a sweet kiss on her lips.

Hope holds her close, and Josie hides her face under her neck, finding a sudden comfort she didn’t know she needed. But after all it’s always like that. Hope always gives her a sense of peace.

“Hope?”

“Hmm-hm?” 

She would be lying if she said she wasn’t still staring at the tumor in front of her.

“Is your period late?” 

Hope blinks twice and pulls away to face the brunette in front of her. 

“Jo, it’s still soon.” She says gently. 

Oh, right. They are also trying to have another baby, although they haven’t told anyone about it. They decided to try again two weeks after Hope’s return. Hope expressed her wish, and Josie couldn’t be happier about adding another member to their family.

“Right. Okay. I’m sorry, I just...” She sighs, “This is so nerve racking. Again.” She smiles nervously.

Hope chuckles and places a sweet kiss on her forehead. “I’m going to try and get this tumor now, okay?” 

Josie hints a small smile and nods. “Okay. I’ll see you later.” 

Josie decides to go check on the kid, who still hadn’t told Josie his name. She should definitely ask him, by the way. 

When she gets into the room, she finds Bennett and the social worker talking in front of him, and Josie smiles softly at him before glancing at the two women.

“What’s happening?”

“His grandmother apparently is not fit to take care of him. She’s too old and in a nursing home, so there’s no way she can take care of him. I’m taking him with me for the time being.” The social worker says.

Josie meets the kid’s puppy eyes, and he seems definitely not happy about what he just heard. 

“Oh. Well...I think he should stay in here for the night. Just to make sure everything’s okay and he’s okay.” She explains.

Bennett looks at her suspiciously. “Didn’t you run all the tests you were supposed to?” 

“Yeah, no. Actually, um, I didn’t do x-rays of his arm. And he’s still dehydrated because he refused to eat and drink, so I’m gonna give him some fluids for the night.”

Bennett’s expression doesn’t change. She’s still weirded out about all of this, while the social worker seems to buy everything Josie is saying.

To be honest, she’s not lying. She’s only half lying. She was going to do all of those things. Were they necessary? Hard to say.

“All right then. I can come back tomorrow after you’re all done.” The woman says. Then she walks out accompanied by Bennett, while Josie stays in the room with the kid.

She smiles softly at him and sits on the bed next to him. He finally wasn’t hiding himself behind his knees anymore. It’s like he was more open around the brunette.

“You know, you owe me one.” She jokes. 

He’s still quiet. He only stares at her from time to time, while Josie silently admires his tenderness. 

“You can start by telling me your name?” She asks.

“Thomas.” He says sheepishly. 

Josie smiles softly. “All right, Tommy...” Then she turns serious again, “Did they tell you what’s going to happen?” 

He nods while hiding his face behind the pillow he took on his lap. 

“Someone is going to take good care of you. But for now, you’re stuck with me.” She smiles playfully at him. “So, we’re going to do all of those things I said before and then you can watch some Tv. How does that sound?” 

He nods again, but in a different way. Josie gets it. He doesn’t seem scared anymore. He seems more open to trust her, which is what Josie had been trying to do all day, and that warms her heart. 

//

The long day finally came to an end after a small surprise to celebrate Josie’s nominee for her medical prize. She never felt so close to getting everything she wanted and more, and it’s oddly both exciting and scary. 

She’s so used to bad things happening that sometimes she just can’t enjoy the moment without thinking about what might be coming next. And if what’s coming will come to take something away or give her more. 

But it’s in moment like these, when the night comes and she and Hope are laying in bed with two angels in the middle, that she feels like nothing can harm her. 

“So you stood there for ten hours and did nothing?” Josie whispers.

Both Grace and Hayley had just fallen asleep, so they had to keep it down. Probably Hope was the one who needed sleep more than anyone right now.

“I could’ve made the cut, but it was too risky. And Bennett also didn’t want me to.” 

Hope keeps brushing her thumb on Hayley’s small hand wrapped around her finger, her gaze fixed on the small brunette too, but her mind elsewhere.

“Since when do you listen to anyone but yourself?” Josie smiles softly, and Hope rolls her eyes and smiles too.

“Did the Janet take the boy with her?” 

“Not yet. Tomorrow.” Josie simply says, lost in thought.

In the meantime, Hope was slowly closing her eyes, her head resting right against Hayley’s. “Hmm. Okay.” She mumbles.

Josie raises her gaze to see Hope about to fall asleep. “Hope? Let’s put them to bed before you collapse.” She whispers.

“Hmm no. Let them stay here.” 

And she crawls closer to the little human next to her.

Josie smiles at the sight of them and then brings herself closer to Grace, places a small kiss on her head, and finally closes her eyes too. 

Considering how we’re always wishing for more, when you get through the day and feel like you don’t need to wish for that, it means that what you have is already enough. 

And it’s something rare, almost impossible. Maybe saying that you’ve got no wishes left would be a lie. 

But for Josie, that was already more than she ever thought she could have.


	45. Chapter 45

Surgeons can't be lazy, the risks are too great. The second they stop pushing themselves, something terrible happens. Something they never see coming. So they may not always be winners. But they’re not lazy. They take chances. They take risks. 

But sometimes, they’re also put on the bench.

Alyssa walks into scans room and finds Hope still staring at the tumor, almost like she hadn’t moved at all since the previous day.

“Mikaelson, you’re gonna get blind if you keep standing there looking at those scans.” She walks next to her and leans against the table. “So you’re in for some crazy ass tumor.”

“It's eaten five levels of his spine.” Hope says. 

Alyssa studies her closely. “Wait, you're not seriously considering trying to take it out?” 

“Of course she is. She’s Hope Mikaelson.” 

The two of them turn around to see Liv standing at the door with a smirk on her face. Hope smiles widely in surprise while Alyssa stays simply unbothered. She rarely shows her true emotions, but who knows her well, knows better.

“What are you doing here?!” Hope says while hugging her.

“Well Joy was feeling better so, in behalf of my sister, I came to see how my other sisters were doing. I guess I caught you in a bad time.”

“Oh, no bad at all. In fact, you could join me for this surgery.” Hope suggests.

“You’re still on that?” Suddenly Bennett is standing at the door with her arms crossed on her chest, giving her a scolding look.

“You are not operating on an inoperable tumor. Besides, I told you that our pro bono budget can't cover high-risk surgeries.” 

“I don’t care about the budget. There’s a life at stake here. And I can do it, I can at least try to save him.” Hope argues back.

“There. Try. That’s not good enough.” 

“And you don’t think Hope is good enough to do it?” Alyssa asks in confusion, because assuming that about Hope was something not possible. 

Bennett shakes her head and sighs. “It’s not about that. It’s something above anyone’s abilities.”

“But I’m not anyone.” Hope snaps back.

Bennett scoffs and shakes her head tiredly again. They keep staring at each other intensively until Bennett decides to give up. “Fine. But whether or not you make it, don’t think this isn’t gonna affect you.” Then she walks out, leaving the three girls in the room.

“Wait, was that a warning?” Liv asks.

“That woman needs to seriously relax.” Alyssa says.

Hope keeps quiet. She feels more nervous than she before, but she can’t let her confidence falter now. She needs it all for the surgery. 

She has to make it. Not to prove a point, because she doesn’t care about that. She knows she’s good. She also knows everything could also go wrong and that would be on her, but also, she gave her word to Maya and Ethan.

And she never backs down.

//

As Josie woke up in the morning, Thomas was her first thought. 

Oddly, she couldn’t help but wonder if the boy was scared to be alone, or if he even slept. She probably should’ve stayed the night with him. 

Yes. She should’ve. But it’s too late to think about it now.

When she walks into Thomas’ room and doesn’t see him right away, she instantly panics. 

But they can’t have taken him away yet, because she’s the one who has to discharge him. He should be here. Somewhere. 

“Oh. There she is.” Josie turns around to see the social worker holding Thomas’ hand, already dressed and ready to go. “Dr. Mikaelson, Thomas’ tests came back all clear, so, you can sign the discharge papers and we’ll be on our way.” 

Josie glances at the four-year old kid who now looks as scared as the first time Josie approached him, and she feels bad for him, almost responsible, although it’s not really her fault. Or responsibility.

“Um, yes, of course. But has the chief signed the papers yet?” 

“Oh! Right. I have to find the chief.” She sighs. “All right, Thomas. Stay with the doctor for a moment, I’ll be right back.” 

As the woman walks out of the room, Josie is shocked when Thomas runs to her and holds on tight to her legs, which makes her stammer for a moment.

“I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go.” He cries out.

Josie gets down to face him and places her hands on his arms trying to reassure him. “Hey. She’s going to take care of you. And you’ll have a new family soon. I know it’s probably what you don’t want to hear, because no one can replace your mommy, but you’ll be okay.” She smiles softly.

“But I like it here. Can’t I stay here? With you?” 

Josie stares at him with her jaw dropped, especially because it’s the most he has spoken in two days, then scoffs a small laugh. “No honey, I work here. You can’t certainly live in a hospital.” 

He sadly lowers his head to the floor and Josie can’t help but feel bad for probably making him sadder, and she feels the need to fix it.

“Hey, should we see if the cafeteria has those good chocolate donuts you like in the meantime?” 

He doesn’t look at her, but he still nods in agreement, and that’s enough for Josie. She smiles and offers him her hand, which he gladly takes, and they walk out in the direction of the elevators.

//

Hope is in the OR, already about to start the hard part of the surgery, while Liv stands on the opposite side of her, watching Hope’s every movement.

“If you need anything just ask.” Liv says.

“Starting to doubt about me now?” She says playfully, her eyes hidden behind the surgical glasses along with her smile behind the mask. 

Liv chuckles. “No. But if this is gonna take the entire day, you’re gonna need water, to pee, a foot massage or something.” 

“I’ll be fine.” She says narrowing her eyes. “I don’t drink during surgeries.”

Liv gives her a pointed look, and at the same time, Rafael walks into the room with his mask on, and Hope looks at him in confusion.

“You need a hand?” 

Hope shakes her head and sighs. “You guys are really giving me performance anxiety.”

“Ah, nonsense, and this is a once-in-a-lifetime tumor. I want to be in it.” Rafael says.

“You need people to talk to. Don’t take decisions on your own. You have help.” Liv says.

“All right.” Hope takes a deep breath and smiles from behind her mask looking at Liv. “It’s a beautiful day to save lives, isn’t it?” 

Liv smiles back, Hope can see it in her eyes. Then she looks up in the gallery and catches sight of Maya, who forces a light smile to the neurosurgeon. 

Hope focuses on the brain again, getting her mind fully into it now. “Ready to make the first cut.” As she makes it, blood runs out and the machine starts beeping. Everyone in the room tenses, Hope included. 

“What? Is he paralyzed?” Liv asks. 

“No. No. It was a blood vessel.” She breathes in and out. “We have many more to go.” She gets back into position. 

In the meantime Alyssa follows the surgery with Maya up from the gallery, both of them watching with bated breath. Suddenly Alyssa’s phone rings, and she only takes her eyes off of Hope to read the name on the phone.

“You’re missing the most amazing surgery of your wife’s career.” 

“I know! I know. But I need your help. Can you please come down the old lab rooms?”

Alyssa frowns. “Why are you even down there?” 

“Hurry!” 

“Okay! Okay. I’m coming.” She throws another look to the screens showing the open brain, then she unwillingly walks out.

//

Alyssa walks down the empty hallways of the hospital, looking for Josie in every room, but finding each of them empty. Until she finally finds her, sitting on a lab table along with a little kid, playing cards.

Alyssa looks at the two in confusion, while Josie’s gaze seems to be asking for help. 

“What’s this?” Alyssa asks.

“I think I might have accidentally stolen a kid.” Josie mutters.

Alyssa walks in, shutting the door and looking at her best friend like she’s crazy. “You what?!”

“She was going to take him away and- and...he didn’t wanna go. Right, Tommy?” He nods to give confirmation. “So I took him for breakfast and then...I took him down here.” Her voice lowers slowly, scared of Alyssa’s next reaction.

“Have you lost your mind?! Your wife is up there playing God and you’re here stealing kids?!” She hisses vehemently.

“For the record, he wanted to stay with me.” 

“That doesn’t make it better?!” She shouts.

Josie hides her face in her hands. “I know! I know. God. What do we do?” She pleads, panicking.

“Oh, we? Now you’re dragging me into your..illegal...child trafficking?!” 

“Alyssa!” 

“Fine. Okay. Um.” She breathes out and rubs her hand on her forehead. “We’ll say you’ve taken him to eat something but then his tummy was hurting...right, Thomas?” Her voice softens all of the sudden looking at the kid. It’s almost creepy and so unlike Alyssa, it would be fun in any other non-emergency situation. 

“For 3 hours?” 

Alyssa drops her arms on her hips. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

Josie shakes her head and stands up. “No. Okay. I...I’ll just tell the truth. I mean, not the kidnapping part. I’ll tell her we were walking around the hospital and he asked to go in the playroom so I took him there.”

“That’s good enough. Then what?”

Josie hesitates for a moment and then glances at the kid who was staring sadly at her. Josie presses her lips together and closes her eyes to think. 

Too many questions running through her mind. 

“Then I’ll tell her I’m going to adopt him.” She bursts out.

Alyssa raises her eyebrows and gets closer as if she hasn’t heard that clearly. “I’m sorry what?” 

“Yes. I...I will. I mean Hope and I can do it. We can.”

“Josie, you already have Hayley and Grace. Hope’s trying to get pregnant. And you want to bring in a fourth? Now?” 

“We don’t know if Hope is pregnant yet. She might not be. And that’s not the point. I mean...look at him.” Josie pleads while holding him in her lap. 

Alyssa sighs and shakes her head in surrender. “You will be the death of me.” 

Josie smiles softly. 

“Come on. Let’s go talk to this woman.”

//

Back in the O.R., Hope is still doing her best to save Ethan without paralyzing him, but it gets more difficult the more she gets inside.

“I've cleared a path at t-5. And if I continue along this plane...” 

The monitor starts beeping erratically again.

“M. E. P. Tracing's losing amplitude. What just happened?” Rafael asks.

“A vessel burst. It might have been connected to the cord.”

Liv looks at Hope with wide eyes. “But if there's not enough blood reaching the cord...” 

“I could've just paralyzed the patient, yes. Suction please. Suction.” Hope orders.

“We’re losing him.” Rafael says.

“Did you paralyze him?” Liv asks urgently.

“Wait. It's back. Amplitude's up.” Rafael says.

“So the cord didn't stroke out? You didn't paralyze him?” Liv asks.

“The vessel was connected to, the, uh, tumor. We're okay.” Hope says, hardly breathing anymore.

“Nice work, Hope.” Rafael says.

She feels sick. She has been nervous all morning for multiple reasons but didn’t feel this sick until now. She steps away from the patient and tries to breathe. Her sight is foggy and everything around her is spinning.

“Liv, get me a trash can.” She urges.

“What?” She asks in confusion.

“Get me a trash can now, Dr. Saltzman.” She orders more urgently. 

Liv moves as quickly as she can and places the trash can just at Hope’s feet, who quickly takes off her mask and suddenly starts throwing up under everyone’s shocked faces. 

Hope sits down for a moment, a nurse gets her some tissues, while Liv gets her some water, but she refuses.

“No. I don’t need-“

“Hope, you look pale. You’re dehydrated and under stress. Probably you need to eat something to regain some strength-“

“I’m pregnant, Liv.” She sighs and rests her head in her hand.

Liv stares at her both shocked and confused. “But.. Josie said...” 

“I took the test yesterday, but I didn’t trust it, so I didn’t tell her. But my exams came back this morning...I’m pregnant.” 

Liv exhales deeply and offers her the glass of water again. “Drink now before I make you.” She orders this time.

Hope scoffs a laugh and takes the glass, and after cleaning herself up again, she gets back on the surgery. 

Another half an hour goes by and even Davina and Rebekah join the O.R. to assist her. 

“How many inches left?” Rebekah asks.

“Uh, less than 2.” 

“So if I do my math, we got, uh, four or five more hours ahead.” Liv says. 

Davina sighs and keeps looking at the screen next to Rafael. “Let’s hope all of this won’t be for nothing.” 

Hope hopes that too. 

She takes another breath, and makes another cut.

//

“Josie, we can talk about this with Hope tomorrow, but right now I really need to take him with me.” 

Josie looks at the social worker with pleading eyes once more. “Janet, please. You know Hope already, you know we’re a good match. We’re good parents. Just let him stay with us and we’ll go through all the papers tomorrow.” 

Janet sighs and shakes her head, but then glances at the little boy standing next to Josie, grabbing her leg tightly.

“Not a word with my superiors. Josie, I mean it.” She points a warning finger at the brunette. 

Josie smiles happily and nods in agreement. “I promise.” 

Janet walks away, while Josie picks Thomas up and smiles gently at him. “Happy now?” 

He smiles sheepishly for the first time in two days and it’s enough to warm Josie’s heart. She turns to Alyssa, who was standing there watching them the whole time. “Is Hope still in surgery?”

“I think so?” She says doubtful.

“Let’s go see how she’s doing.” She starts walking ahead but Alyssa soon stops her and Josie looks at her in confusion. “What?”

“Do I need to remind you that you have a child in your arms?” 

“Oh it’s fine, I’ll keep his back to the window.” She brushes off and walks away.

Alyssa sighs and shakes her head in surrender. “How is she a mother of three it’s still a mystery to me.” She whispers to herself.

//

As Josie and Alyssa walk into the gallery, Maya turns to her side to look at them, and frowns in confusion when she sees a kid in Josie’s arms. 

“You don’t want to know, trust me.” Alyssa says.

In the meantime Josie sits Thomas on her lap, face to her and back to the window. “Don’t turn around, okay?” She says gently.

He nods and just rests his head on Josie’s chest closing his eyes. Josie softens at the gesture, also thinking that he must be exhausted. It’s past 10 p.m. after all.

She rocks him gently while her eyes focus on Hope down the room.

“Hmm. A or B ? Dr. Saltzman... a or b?” 

“You're done? You got it all out?” Rebekah asks.

“Except for the blind cut.”

“I just have to pick one, and we're good to go. A or B?”

“Hope, you can’t be serious.” Rebekah scoffs a laugh. 

“Dr. Waithe?”

“Oh, you know I can’t make that choice.”

“Fine.” She exhales deeply. “It’s all on us then.” She whispers to herself -and the other part of her- “A or B, A or B...” 

Josie holds Maya’s hand while all three stare at the screen with bated breath. 

Then Hope makes the cut.

//

When Ethan wakes up a few hours later during the night, Hope hears him cursing and rushes to see what’s wrong.

“Ethan? What’s wrong?”

“I can move my toes. I...can feel everything.” 

Hope lets out a wide smile and looks at his feet and his hands. “You made it Ethan.” 

He smiles incredulously and lets out a few happy tears. “You did it?” He shakes his head. “Of course you did. I knew you could do it. Freaking God Mikaelson.” 

Hope chuckles and squeezes his hand. “You need to stop calling me that. Now get some rest.” 

She walks outside and closes the door, and sees Maya walking towards her. The girl instantly jumps on the auburn-haired girl, surrounding her neck with her arms. “Thank you. Thank you.”

“You would’ve hated me if I cut the wrong one.” Hope whispers, unable to not think about the worst case scenario. 

“No. No, I wouldn’t. I could never hate you.” She whispers and holds on tighter.

Hope smiles weakly, and a tear runs down her cheek. Probably because of the stress, the responsibility that came with that surgery, and what losing Ethan could’ve meant to her relationship with Maya, or maybe because she’s now officially realizing she’s pregnant. 

Bennett approaches them in the hallway, breaking the moment, and Hope suddenly tenses again. 

“You did it, congratulations.” She says emotionless.

Hope clears her throat. “Thank you.” 

“Let me remind you though, you can’t always play God, Mikaelson. This is my hospital, my jurisdiction, my rules.”

Hope scoffs. “I don’t play, Bonnie. I save lives. And I know damn well I’m not a God.” 

“Good. Because you’re suspended until further notice. You can go home now.” She walks away without giving Hope the chance to say anything, although she doesn’t really want to. The neurosurgeon scoffs a laugh and shakes her head.

“Bonnie, are you for real?” Maya asks, but she ignores her. “Bennett!” She shouts.

“Leave it, Maya. It’s okay.”

//

When Hope comes back home it’s almost 2 a.m. She’s basically sleepwalking, and she’s so tired that she can’t even turn the lights on. 

As she closes the door, the small light in the living room turns on, and Hope catches Josie sitting on the couch , wrapped around a blanket, yawning tiredly.

“Hey, you’re back.” She whispers and smiles softly.

“Babe, why aren’t you in bed?” 

“Oh, uh, bed is...overcrowded.” She gets up and follows Hope, who’s just headed to the bedroom. 

Hope frowns in confusion, too tired to make guesses. “What?” She peeks into the room and catches sight of Grace, Hayley and a bigger figure, but not so much. 

“Josie...who’s that kid?” 

Josie nervously bites her bottom lip and pulls the sleeves of her cardigan down her hands. “It’s Thomas. The social worker was supposed to take him away today but...he didn’t want to, so I...I took him.” 

Hope frowns, still confused. She’s so tired. 

“I’m sorry, did you _steal_ him?”

Josie rolls her eyes. Not again.

“No! I mean, at first...”

“At first?! Wha- Josie-“

“I want us to adopt him.” The brunette bursts out.

Hope widens her eyes and suddenly she doesn’t feel them so heavy anymore. She’s more awake than ever now. 

“Y-you...”

“I think he likes me, because he didn’t want to leave my side. He’s... _so_ sweet, Hope. You would love him. And he’s so smart.” She chuckles lightly. “He crashed me playing cards, he listed to me the most famous cities of Africa and spoke his mother’s language to me. And I don’t know I just...I feel that connection, you know? Like it was for Jade with Joy, I think. I mean you get it, right?” She exhales deeply, while gesturing with her hands in the air.

Hope tries to process this along with what she already knows, then nods in understanding. “Yeah I...I think I get it, yeah.” This is all a little overwhelming.

Josie hints a weak smile but then gives her both an hopeful and worried look. “So...so we’ll do it? You want this?”

Hope finally meets those brown hopeful eyes and instantly softens. “Yeah, of course.” She smiles. “But I have to tell you something. Two things, actually.” 

Josie straightens her posture nervously. “Oh okay. What is it?” 

“Well, for starters...Bennett suspended me...”

“She did _what?!”_ She hisses harshly.

“Yeah, she said that me operating Ethan would have consequences, but I did it anyway.”

“But the surgery went well.”

Hope scoffs a laugh. “Yeah, well, she doesn’t care about that.” 

“I’ll talk to her. I can change her mind. I mean I am nominated for medical prize right? She can’t say no to me. I’m going to her office first thing tomorrow, I’m- I’m going to walk up to her and...and-“ 

“I’m pregnant.” 

Josie suddenly stops rumbling and stares at Hope with a stunned face. 

“You’re pregnant.” She repeats again. 

Hope chuckles nervously. “Yeah, I am.”

Josie’s smile shifts into a frown. “But yesterday you said the test was negative.” 

“I lied. I was scared to...disappoint you or something. Or disappoint myself too, honestly.” Hope lets out a nervous chuckle and lowers her head to the floor, nervously playing with her fingers. “I didn’t want to get our hopes up until I was sure.” 

Josie shakes her head and cups her face in her hands and places a gentle kiss on Hope’s lips. “You...”

“Me?” Hope giggles.

“You’re the love of my life.” Josie kisses her. “My light.” Another kiss. “My heart.” And another kiss. “My everything.” She keeps staring into those soft blue eyes. “You could never disappoint me, Hope. You’re already more than I could have ever asked for.” 

Hope smiles softly, then Josie starts to fill her with kisses all over her face again, squealing happily while holding her close. 

Hope chuckles and tries to free herself from Josie’s grip. “Okay, Josie, you need to let me breathe...”

“No. I’m gonna choke you with my love.” She says childishly, pinching both of her cheeks and getting another laugh out of Hope.

“Josie...”

Josie stops torturing her to take a good look at those mesmerizing blue eyes. “We are gonna have another baby.” 

Blue mixes with brown, and Hope smiles softly. “Yes we are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had like five more chapters planned but they might be six?? I’m still not sure, I’m struggling to find inspiration for next chapter but also with letting all of this go :( 
> 
> It’s gonna be an emotional roller coaster till the end


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the parallel <33

Surgery isn't cheap. Neither is a hospital. It takes a lot of money to keep a hospital's doors open, and when the funds run out, doctors need to get out there and raise some more.

So it’s time to put on dresses and some make up, show off a little, and practice our charm.

Josie walks hurriedly to the living room after finally putting on her second shoe. She rarely wears high heels, she can’t really walk like this, but if Bennett says they need to be classy and elegant, so be it. 

She’s wearing a white embroidered body and a flared pink skirt, while Hope is wearing a simple long dark red dress and black heels. 

Josie’s first thought as she sees her is how beautiful she is, but also how freaking tall she seems in those heels.

“Hope, we’re late. Are you ready?”

“Well, Hayley and Grace are. But someone here doesn’t want to put his shoes on.” Hope shares an understanding glance with the brunette, who kneels down to face the small boy, sitting with a pout and crossed arms on the floor.

“Honey, it’s just for a few hours, I promise. You’ve met Freya already, she’s nice, right?” He nods but still pouts. “And Nik is waiting for you. He’ll be thrilled to see you again.” 

Josie waits for him to answer, and after a few moments he picks up his shoe and starts putting it on, as Josie gives him a warm smile and caresses his head.

“There you go.” 

She stands up again, careful not to fall with her high heels, and notices Hope is shamelessly staring at her.

Josie smirks lightly. “What are you looking at?” 

Hope shakes her head and nonchalantly picks up Grace from the couch. “Nothing.” She quickly says.

“Oh but I know that look.” Josie keeps smirking while putting on her coat. 

Hope frowns, feigning like she doesn’t know what the brunette is talking about. “What look? Do I have a look?” 

“Yes, your _dirty_ look.” 

Hope chuckles lightly and opens the door. “Ha, no no. I’m just looking respectfully. You dressed up really nice, by the way.” 

The neurosurgeon glances with her mouth half open to the brunette’s exposed long legs, moving her eyes all the way up and finally meeting Josie’s curious gaze again. Hope clears her throat and puts on a confident smile. 

“Yeah, that’s a nice outfit.” She adds.

“Thank you. I hope some rich donor will get me out of it at the end of the night.” 

Josie walks past Hope and out of the house while Hope is distracted by Hayley at her feet. The auburn-haired girl processes what the brunette just said a little late and widens her eyes for a moment before following Josie outside. 

“You think you’re so funny...”

Josie turns around with a wide smile, showing off her pretty dress, pretty coat, pretty smile...

She’s driving Hope crazy. 

Actually, Hope’s hormones have been driving her crazy lately. She wants to blame it on the pregnancy, but she thinks Josie plays her part well too. 

“I don’t think I am, _I know_ I am.”

“Ha, wait until Alyssa hears about this.” 

Josie tucks her tongue between her lips in a childish grimace and then gets into the car. As the whole family is settled, Hope starts driving to Freya’s house.

//

Bennett walks in a hurry outside the hospital, looking for the woman she hired to set up the whole money raise night event.

The thing is, the hospital has been under the public’s eye for too long, and many unfortunate things have been happening since the shooting. This seems to be a problem for the people who invest in the hospital, which might lose all the founds and eventually, close.

It’s something that Bennett cannot allow. It’s not just about what she has invested into it, but what the hospital has turned out to be after all this time. What she means to her.

She recalls how she never had people to call family, not anyone until her husband came, then her child. But before her own child, she already had people she cared about deeply.

Of course, she’s never openly said that. But since those five interns walked into her hospital, they not only gave her a new purpose -that is the purpose to shape them into new, even better versions of her-, they also became the family she never had. They changed her life.

Maybe she never did a great job at showing it, probably because she had a severe teacher herself. She figured that the same attitude could work well with them, so as to make them not only good surgeons, but tough ones, too. 

It takes both empathy and strength to be a surgeon. Bennett has both, even if she doesn’t easily soften, she loves her interns as if they were her children. 

Her now-grown-up children, who after tonight are not going to be interns anymore, but attendings, that is if they passed their final exam. 

She wants them to have a future there, in Mystic Falls, not lose them for any other hospital around the country. She has to save this hospital and convince those people that despite everything that might happen or might have happened, everyone in that hospital cares about people. 

She finally spots her event planner at the entrance of the hospital, but before walking up to her, she looks stunned at how the lobby has been transformed. 

She walks at a brisk pace to the woman and starts complaining to her. 

“I asked for a classy and conservative event. There’s nothing classy about women on a trapeze, clowns and men spitting fire! The last thing I need is this hospital to burn down tonight.” She hisses.

“Relax, Dr. Bennett. I took your idea into consideration, but since you need to impress people tonight, and hospitals are already as sad as they are, I thought this would lighten up the mood for everyone.” The woman explains in excitement, admiring at the artists around the big room.

Bennett has her arms crossed on her chest and is looking at the woman with a murderous look. “I beg to differ.” 

“Trust me, Bonnie,” She places a hand on her shoulder, “I grew up in the business world. I know how it works. We're attracting serious people with serious money. Classy and conservative is overrated.” 

“But this looks like a night club! Look at these red lights all over the place!” 

The woman sighs deeply and faces Bennett. “Bonnie, rich people want fun. Fun attracts them. It makes them want to be generous.” 

“Well if you wasted my money, I’m gonna ask you to make a very kind donation.” Bennett whispers to her face.

The woman laughs amused, probably taking it as a joke - big mistake - and then walks away. 

In the meantime, Josie and Hope have arrived at the party, and the brunette walks up to Alyssa and Davina, who are standing by a table and having drinks.

“Josette Parker, what have you done to my B.F.F.?” Alyssa says while glancing at her from head to foot. 

Josie smiles flattered and then takes a drink from a waiter’s tray, taking a quick sip. 

“Who are you trying to impress tonight?” Alyssa asks with a smirk.

“We need to attract generous rich people, right? I needed to dress up nicely.” She says casually, resting her arm on the table while bringing the glass to her lips with the other hand.

“Sure you did. I hope you put on your lucky underwear for tonight.” 

_“Obviously._ I’ve been tense all week for these results. If I failed I might run away and disappear from the face of the earth.”

Davina rolls her eyes and speaks up for the first time since Josie arrived. “That’s stupid. Of course you’ll pass, Josie. You all will.”

“Thanks, I hope so.” Josie gives Davina a curious look, “Are you already drunk? The night has just started.” 

“She’s depressed.” Alyssa says.

“I’m not depressed. I just miss Rebekah, okay? She’s been gone for so long and I feel lonely.” 

Two months ago Rebekah got a call from the military program that first took her down a few years before, and after making sure Davina would be okay with her leaving and staying away for six months, she decided to take the job.

Of course Davina agreed to it. She knows how much Rebekah wanted it and both of them are sure about their feelings, so that wasn’t going to be a problem.

But the distance still was.

“Yeah trust me, I know the feeling.” Josie gives her a sad and understanding look. 

“I really, really love her.” She stumbles in her own words, “I think I’m gonna ask her to marry me.” 

Both Alyssa and Josie look at her with stunned faces, not expecting Davina confessing that to them at all. The same brunette seems to realize a little late what she said, her eyes wide in shock. 

“I- I just thought about that. I never had before.” 

“Yeah well, that’s what happens when you live too close to Hope and Josie. They seem to infect you with their disease called _love_.” Alyssa says.

“To which you appear to be immune.” Josie says playfully.

“Thank God, I might say. Or I would have an entire volleyball team running around the house and a wife as cheerleader.” The raven haired girl takes a long sip of champagne, finally emptying her glass.

Suddenly Maya approaches them with Rafael by her side, both of them looking around with the same confusion and curiosity everyone had as they walked in.

“Are we sure Bennett planned this?” Maya asks doubtful.

“Is that a clown?” Rafael frowns while looking somewhere far in the distance.

Josie looks around her and laughs before taking another sip of her champagne. “Lizzie would hate this.” 

“I hate this. I hate having to sell myself to men just to trick them into giving us money. You know what that makes me?” 

Alyssa’s question is rhetorical, but that brings a wide grin out of Rafael, who gets the sudden attention of all the women in front of him. 

He suddenly stops laughing and gets serious again, because they are all giving him murderous looks. He clears his throat and picks up a glass from the tray on the table.

“I’m gonna-“

“Go get some? Yeah, aren’t we all.” Alyssa fakes a smile while Rafael walks away quietly.

Josie is laughing with tears next to her while Maya shakes her head. “If this thing is not mandatory I’m going back to my patients. One of them is in labour.” Maya picks up ber bag but suddenly Bennett appears from behind her, scaring all three of them.

“No one is leaving. I'm giving 10% of tonight's take to the department that raises the most money. So you better go get some.” 

And as a flash, she’s gone again, while the four girls stare at each other bewildered.

“Well, ortho could use some founds, so...” Davina places her glass on the table and walks away to her first prey. 

“Wow, I think your wife is gonna raise money for all of us tonight.” Alyssa says.

Josie looks at her in confusion but then follows Alyssa’s gaze and sees Hope smiling widely and adjusting her dress while being surrounded by three men.

“You should get started if you want to beat her.” Alyssa adds, but Josie’s mind is completely elsewhere.

In fact, she’s already up and walking towards Hope, while luckily the three men are already leaving. Hope’s smile doesn’t falter when she sees Josie approaching her, but Josie, on the contrary, has to put on a fake smile. 

The brunette clears her throat and crosses her arms under her chest. “Um, what are you doing?” 

“Trying to get rich people to donate some money?” Hope tells her innocently.

Josie nods and keeps her forced smile on. “Your, uh, your chest is showing. Far too much.” Josie looks down and then at Hope again.

Hope frowns and chuckles lightly. “I’m not showing anything. These are my pregnancy breasts, I can’t hide what can’t be hidden.” She says while casually flipping her hair behind her shoulder. 

Josie bits her bottom lip and smiles nervously, but tries to keep her obvious jealousy at bay. 

“I’ll tell you what, I’m going to go and do my part now, hoping that I won’t see you on a trapeze later.” Josie tells her, still smiling.

“Oh no, that would show off too much.” Hope says, then she wets her mouth with her tongue. 

Josie stares at her in awe for a moment. She’s almost falling for Hope’s dirty game, but she quickly snaps out of it. 

She shakes her head and clears her throat. “I’m going.” And the brunette is gone like a flash, while Hope keeps smiling mischievously to herself. 

//

Josie walks up in a hurry to Alyssa who is busy charming a rich man into donating money. 

“It was really hard for me, but I have this hospital now, you know?” Alyssa fakes her tears to get the man’s pity, and it’s working, apparently.

“I just know that I don’t ever have to live in my car again. Now I can call this hospital my home.” 

Josie sees the man nodding and placing a hand on her friend’s shoulder to comfort her, then he walks away a few moments later, and Alyssa wipes off her tears and smiles proudly to herself.

Josie steps closer and gives her a judgy look. “You stole Jade’s story to get money?” She asks with indignation.

Alyssa brushes off her hand. “Of course not. I did live in my car once.”

“For like a week. Because your apartment was flooded.” Josie points out. 

“And that was a very, very hard week for me.” She brings a hand to her chest and her voice shakes on purpose.

Josie rolls her eyes and groans in frustration. “We have to team up against Hope to get Bennett’s money.” 

Alyssa looks at her as if she’s gone _loca._ “Love did this to you?” 

Suddenly Bennett shows up from nowhere and the two girls gasps in surprise. 

“Listen to you two. This is not that difficult. Just be charming. Use the same skills you would if you were picking someone up at a bar. I know you know how to do that.”

Josie stares at her with wide eyes. “Well, uh, I don’t think I can do that anymore.”

Meanwhile, Alyssa is laughing loudly next to her. “Last time she picked up someone at a bar she took her home. We all know how that ended.” 

“It hasn’t.” Josie points out, and Alyssa opens her mouth and pretends to be close to throwing up. 

“Parker, you need to practice. Keep going.” Bennett says, then she disappears again, leaving the two girls to choose their next victims. 

“Oh! Rich man 11 o’clock.” 

//

Davina is talking to the fifth person that night while drinking her tenth glass of champagne. She’s doing great so far, and thinks she’ll definitely win Bennett’s money. 

“My girlfriend...she died in the shooting, yes. She was protecting a little girl and the man... he shot her.” She starts sobbing, “I’ve never been the same since then. But that’s why we keep doing this, we honor the people who are not here anymore and we always try to do better.” 

The old rich women surrounding her give the brunette pity looks and try to comfort her. 

In the meantime, Josie walks by and hears everything. She shakes her head and genuinely starts thinking everyone she knows should be actors instead of surgeons. 

When the women leave Davina alone, the younger brunette approaches her and gives her a pointed look. 

“It’s for a good cause.” Davina shrugs and defends herself. 

“You should really stop drinking.” Josie says.

“You are not my mother. How many have you done so far?” 

Josie sighs and drops her head between her hands. “Alyssa is right. It sounds so bad when you say it.”

Davina rolls her eyes and places the next empty glass on the table. “It’s to save our home, Josie. Think about it, tonight you might become a full doctor but tomorrow you might not have an hospital to work in.”

Davina is right. Besides, it’s not any hospital, it’s her hospital. The hospital where her mom worked, where Josie could still feel the slightest bit of connection to her.

She sighs and nods in understanding. “I should get back to it.”

But as Josie turns around, she sees Hope talking to a gorgeous woman at the bar counter, and she stares at them for a while, trying to eavesdrop their conversation.

“Emma Avery.” The woman says while shaking Hope’s hand.

“Hope Mikaelson, chief of neuro.”  
Hope smiles back. 

“Oh. _Chief._ I guess the hospital is pulling out its best cards tonight.” The woman says while eyeing Hope in a way Josie didn’t like at all.

She knows the woman is flirting. And she knows Hope is not so dumb not to notice. But before Josie can step in and make a scene, she waits for Hope to say something. 

“Well, I’m not that modest of a person.” Hope chuckles lightly.

_Not modest my ass._

_Hormonal bitch._

Josie walks at a brisk pace towards them and steps right in between, pulling off her best fake smile. 

“Hi, I hear the clown is about to make a great number. I suggest you to check him out.” She suggests, her voice unusually high-pitched. 

The woman forces a smile and looks weirdly at Josie, then she gives one last smile to Hope before walking away. 

Josie instantly places herself in front of Hope and pushes her with both hands on her chest.

“You were giving her the look!” She shouts at her.

Hope scoffs and looks at her cluelessly. “What look?!”

“The Mikaelson look! The one where your eyes go all sparkling and whoever looks at you falls madly in love.” 

Hope laughs in amusement. “That’s just my face Josie. I can’t stop people from falling for me.”

Josie drops her mouth open in shock. “Pregnancy made you bold and presumptuous. I wonder if you’ll still be B&P when your big bump starts showing.” She pushes her again.

“B&P?”

 _“Bold and presumptuous!”_ Josie hisses.

“You realize you are saying pregnancy is going to make me unpleasant to the human eye and lose my charm just because I’m going to gain some weight?” Hope crosses her arms to her chest and gives Josie a hard look. 

Josie scoffs and rolls her eyes. “That was not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” She steps closer, invading the brunette’s personal space, who suddenly loses her ability to think and speak because of Hope’s closeness. 

She keeps staring between her painted red lips and her blue sparkling eyes, and suddenly even breathing becomes hard.

“Josie?” 

Josie suddenly snaps out of her thoughts and looks at Hope, really looks at her. 

“Huh? W-what?” She mutters.

“Do you want to get out of here?” 

That’s enough to make Josie feel like someone has lighted a fire inside of her. It’s suddenly so hot in there, and Hope is staring at her in a way it reminds Josie of the days they were pining over each other in secret. 

It’s both odd and beautiful how after all this time they’re still the same people. That’s probably what makes everything about their relationship so exciting and still fresh. 

“Dr. Parker!” 

Their game of stares is suddenly interrupted by one of her interns rushing towards her. 

“Mrs. Hill needs surgery. Now. We need you.” 

Josie blinks a few times and clears her throat, decided not to look at Hope one more time or she knows she won’t be able to walk away. 

“Okay, okay. Let’s go.” 

Hope stands there while watching Josie leave, but she doesn’t know Hope feels a complete mess now. 

The auburn haired girl exhales deeply, and at the same time Alyssa walks up to her and gives her a curious look. 

“You okay Mikaelson?” 

“I need some air.” 

And without saying anything more, she rushes outside. 

//

After half an hour, Hope couldn’t stand to be to a party she didn’t want to be at. Especially if Josie was not there stealing glances from afar. 

She hated pretending all night while the only person she wanted to flirt with was Josie. Although seeing the brunette jealous was a good turn on for Hope, she also hated it. 

She was impatient. She just wants to be with Josie. She wants her.

So she walks up in the gallery above the OR where Josie is operating and opens the microphone to talk to her.

“What are you doing?” Hope sing-songs, and suddenly Josie raises her head and Hope sees her eyes smiling above the mask. 

“Repairing a gastric rupture. It's fun.”

“You can't just leave me like that, Josie.” She pretends to be sad, and it charms Josie more than it should, since she knows Hope is pretending and all she wants is get to her. 

“You're more than welcome to come and join me. Come get a little blood on your hands. I'll even let you hold a retractor.” Josie says. 

Hope smiles softly and thinks that a nice date surgery would not be a terrible idea. “All right, I’m coming in.”

An hour later they are finally heading out as they walk to the elevator side by side.

“This was really fun. We should have more dates like this.” Josie tells her with a light smirk.

They step into the elevator, Hope chuckles happily and nods in agreement. “You’re right. We should.”

The elevator doors close and the two keep silent for a few seconds, both of them avoiding each other’s gaze but looking at the space around them. 

Josie suddenly smiles and Hope catches it. “What?” 

“Do you remember what happened in this elevator?” 

They share a look that says it all. Of course Hope remembers, how could she ever forget? 

That hospital is full of their story. Every corner has one. This elevator holds one too. 

Hope doesn’t even count to ten before she presses Josie against the wall while Josie leans her arm to the buttons to stop the elevator. 

“I was just jealous. I know you’re going to look beautiful even in two, three months. You always are.” Josie urges, then she lets out a surprised gasp as Hope leaves a trail of wet kisses along her neck. 

“So that’s what it took for you to give in?” Hope whispers, while both of them proceeds to take each other dresses off, stealing kisses from time to time.

Josie smiles between kisses, their heavy breaths start filling the small space. “No. You know I always want you.” She whispers. 

“And I want you.” 

Josie shifts positions and presses Hope against the wall, picking her up while Hope surrounds Josie’s hips with her legs, their lips locked together the entire time.

Every touch always feels like fire. And Josie can’t say if it’s because of Hope’s hands all over her or it’s just her body reaction. She should have a scientific explanation for it but no, she doesn’t.

There’s nothing logical about her feelings and her love for Hope. 

And it’s suddenly like a deja vu. History repeats itself. The place is filled with their moans and their whispered names, but this time no one is running off. No risk someone is going to get hurt. 

It’s just them, loving each other in the most unthinkable of places. 

They don’t know how long they’ve been in there when they put their dresses back on, but they do it without keeping their eyes off of each other, keeping their game of stares alive.

“You were planning this all night long, admit it.” Josie smirks.

“Why would I plan to have sex with you in a dirty elevator?” 

Josie bursts out into laughter and surrounds Hope’s neck with her arms, smiling softly at the older girl. “We’re never gonna change, right?” 

Hope smiles softly and kisses the brunette’s forehead before resting both of them together. 

“Between all of the things that are going to change around us, we’ll always be the same. That’s a fact.” 

Josie smiles and brushes their noses together playfully. “I love you.” 

Hope’s smile falters for a moment, a thought crossing her mind. “I wonder if something would be different now if I showed up earlier at the bar.” 

Josie shakes her head and cups Hope’s cheeks in her hands. “Stop it. We’re together now. We have everything we could ever ask for. We’re happy.” 

Hope smiles weakly. “I know.” 

“Besides, you make up for that everyday. You’re always in my corner.” 

“Of course. You know I’m always gonna show up.” Hope says in a sweet tone.

Josie smiles widely and places a gentle kiss on Hope’s lips. “As I am.”

Hope bites her bottom lip and gives the brunette a playful look. “You promise?”

“I literally vowed it. How many times do you want me to promise?” Josie bursts out, and Hope pinches her hip to tickle her.

“Everyday.” 

Josie rolls her eyes and sighs lightly. “Fine. I promise I’m always gonna show up.” Then a phone ring catches her attention, and pulls out the phone from her pocket to check the notification.

“Oh my God. The results are out.” 

Hope darts her mouth open and stares expectantly at the brunette. “So?! What does it say?!” 

Josie raises her gaze to Hope and suddenly starts jumping with bare feet and screaming with joy. “I passed! I passed!” 

“Of course you passed! Ah! Our girls are gonna be so smart with a mother like you.” 

Josie’s laugh fills the elevator while Hope finally pushes the button and the elevator starts moving again. 

As they arrive down the lobby, they’re met by Alyssa running towards them. 

“Josie! We passed! We’re freaking doctors!” 

Then her enthusiasm is blinded and turned down by a very easily noticeable thing. 

“And you two just had sex.” 

Josie holds back a laugh while fixing up her skirt. 

“I guess your picking up at the bar thing still works.” 

“And I picked the same girl after six years, can you believe it?” Josie asks while stealing a glance at Hope. 

Alyssa rolls her eyes and groans tiredly. “I miss Lizzie.” 

While Alyssa walks away, the two girls smile at each other with an understanding look. But suddenly there’s a scream and people surrounding a woman on the floor. 

“What happened?!” Josie asks. 

“The woman fell off the trapeze!” She hears someone yelling.

They sigh and glance at each other once more. “Happy first day my love.” Hope says. 

Josie shakes her head while smiling softly, then both of them head to the center of the room where the accident occurred. 

Even in nice dresses and make up, doctors are still doctors. It doesn’t matter what they wear, because at any moment, any time of the day, someone might need them.

And they have to be ready. 

Bennett walks up to five gentlemen concerned that this one more accident might look bad for the investors, and she damns the woman who put all of this up.

“I’m- so sorry this happened. I have my team ready to assist the woman and she’s already headed to the hospital.” 

One of the men is thoughtful for a moment, then he exhales deeply and puts on a weak smile. “We heard all about the hospital from your doctors tonight. Despite the many... _occurrences_ that have happened up until now, we believe you have competent doctors working with you. From what they’ve told me, you all are family.”

Bennett releases a small smile, surprised to hear such positive words. “Uh, yes they are. And yes, we really are. And of course, we’ll do or best to keep the name of the hospital high. I promise you.”

The man nods in agreement. “I’m sure you will.” 

As the men leave, Bennett finally releases a deep breath and squeals in excitement. She looks around her to check if someone might have seen that, then she clears her throat and fixes her dress while casually walking away.

Money is not all that takes to keep a hospital running. It takes passion and commitment. It’s also a team work. And where their surgical talents are not needed, sometimes all that takes is just...a little charm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I picked the same girl after six years, can you believe it?” 🥺


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry for the long wait. I’ve had these chapters written for like a month but couldn’t bring myself to update. Forgive me :(

What you learn on the first day at medical school... think long and hard before choosing to become a surgeon.

When patients are lying on the table completely at your mercy, they need to know that when you make that first cut... you know what you're doing.

No other specialty requires the time, the focus, the complete dedication... except maybe being a mom.

Josie walks around the kitchen in a rush, picking up toys and blankets all around the living room. She steps on dolls and dinosaurs from time to time, and sighs deeply looking at the mess her kids are able to make. 

She wonders what will be when the fourth one arrives. Probably even messier.

But Josie can never complain, as much as she likes keeping the house in order, she loves her children more. 

“Mommy! Mommy!” Grace runs to her with a frown and tears the doll from Josie’s hands, crunching her nose in an angry look.

“Well, you left it on the floor Gracie. You know if mommy finds something out of place she’s picking it up.” 

Grace simply ignores her and hops away, running out of the house.

“Don’t run on the porch Gracie!” Josie sing-songs. 

In the meantime Hayley walks in and runs to Josie with a wide smile and a flower in her hands, offering it to Josie. The brunette kneels down and smiles gratefully to the little brunette. “Thank you baby.” 

“For you, mommy.” 

Josie smiles in amusement. “Mommy sends it?” Hayley nods twice. “Well, tell her to get ready and stop playing with that plane instead of buying my patience.” She raises her voice on purpose to make herself heard.

She walks outside and stands on the porch with Hayley in her arms, looking at Hope and little Thomas flying a plane around the garden. 

“Hope!” Josie calls at her again.

Hope turns to her just for a second before focusing her attention on Thomas again, instructing him how to make the plane roll in the sky. 

Josie shakes her head but keeps smiling at the sight. Hope’s bump was so big now, and her due date was close, but she had the energy of a pro. Josie is kind of jealous, since she couldn’t even move during the last days of her pregnancy, but seeing Hope doing better than she was, was also reassuring. 

“I swear Hayley, sometimes I feel like your mother is one of you.” Josie whispers to her while walking towards Hope and Thomas.

Hope finally pays attention to her and smiles widely at the brunette. “Baby, look! Tommy even learned how to make it flip!” 

“Look! Look!” Tommy says, and Josie watches as he does it again. “Did you see that?!” He says enthusiastically.

“He is great with that thing. Says he wants to be a pilot.” Hope says proudly.

“Oh yeah? That would be really cool.” Josie says.

All of the sudden a cab drives towards them, and stops right behind their car. 

“Who’s that?” Josie asks in confusion.

Suddenly they spot Lizzie stepping out of the car, who instantly waves at them with her fancy sunglasses on. Then she’s followed by Liv and Jade, and ultimately Joy, who walks past everyone to run towards Hope. She had gotten so big since the last time they saw her. 

Time flies so fast, Josie thinks.

“Mommy!” 

“Oh my love, you’re here!” Hope picks her up and places a few kisses all over her face. “I missed you so much! Oh my God.” She holds her to her chest and inhales the scent of her child, finally feeling at peace. 

It’s like that, whenever she has all of her family together, that’s when she feels complete.

The three girls exchange quick hugs with Josie and then focus on the kids. “We thought we could fly over a week earlier.” Jade says while placing a kiss on Hayley’s head.

“This is my wedding week, so all of you know what you’re dealing with. You’ve been warned.” Lizzie says while taking off her sunglasses.

“So you came here earlier to stress us out?” Josie asks.

“Yes.” Both Liv and Jade says. Josie and the two girls share a look. “Sorry, but Lizzie Wedding Planner is not easy to live with.” Liv says. 

“I agree.” Jade says.

“You’re literally marrying her.” Hope says frowning. 

Jade smiles softly and then walks towards Hope and places a hand and a kiss on her belly, then one on her cheeks. “Hi Hopey. How’s my goddaughter doing?” 

“Bold of you to assume you’re going to be her godmother.” Josie says. 

“Liv is Gracie’s and Alyssa is Hayley’s. Lizzie is Joy’s. Of course I’m gonna be hers.” Jade says, then she glances at Hope behind her. “Right, Hope?”

Hope sighs and shifts her attention to Joy. “Are you hungry baby? I am. Let’s go eat something.” They walk away as Jade stands with her jaw dropped in shock. 

“Hope Andrea Mikaelson, I’m talking to you!” Jade screams.

“Her aunts are calling dibs Jade, sorry.” Josie says. 

“I don’t care!” Jade shouts again. “I call dibs too! Mikaelson, do you hear me?! I’m not getting married if you don’t choose me!” 

“Now hold on, crazy fairy godmother. That would become my problem.” Lizzie says, pointing a finger at her. 

“Well, while you guys fight about that, I’m going to work.” Josie says.

“Take me with you, please.” Liv says. 

“Oh so you’re leaving me with Hope and Jade? Seriously, Hope and Jade?!” Lizzie emphasizes again. 

Josie chuckles and opens the doors of the backseats for Hayley, Grace and Thomas. “She’s not missing a day of work, don’t worry. Just giver her an hour.” 

And while Josie and Liv drive away from the property, Lizzie sighs tiredly and looks at all the suitcases in front of her. “I need a little help here!” 

Still, it feels good to be home. 

//

Alyssa’s morning started rather early since she rushed into the O.R. for an emergency surgery. 

It’s a nice feeling, the fact that she feels so confident and empowered by how good she is at this. Of course, just like every other doctor, she fails sometimes, but she can still consider herself one of the good ones. Really good one. 

If there’s something she will never not be modest about it’s her job. She knows how much she sacrificed to get where she is now, and it’s not about love. No. Nothing like that. 

Her story with Jed was just not meant to be. They wanted different things, and Alyssa might also think of herself like someone who just can’t be in a relationship, or maybe the time for her heart to fall for someone other than her work hasn’t come yet. She doesn’t blame herself for that, though. 

She’s happy just like this. Of course, she’s not done here. She doesn’t know yet what it is, but she still has to get there. 

For now, being a resident for Cardio surgery seems right. That dark blue shirt and pants were the result of years of sweat, tears and sleepless nights. 

She won’t say out loud that the reason she became a doctor was because of her parents’ death. It sounds stupid for someone like her. Someone who built herself alone and made it out a brilliant surgeon. 

She doesn’t have anyone to thank for that if not herself. Except Bennett and Keelin, maybe. 

But her little self still wishes someone could tell her they’re proud of her. 

She never hears the words. Never has.

She doesn’t really need them. 

She tells herself that.

//

Josie walks in an empty ER where she finally finds Hope, who is standing in her dress for the wedding while the stylist walks around her with a tape measure. Josie instantly catches her tired and annoyed face and holds back a laugh, while Lizzie stands there just observing her.

“So, looks like it fits just fine.” Josie says.

“Hm no, still doesn’t look right.” Lizzie says narrowing her eyes, thoughtful.

Hope looks at her with her mouth and arms open, ready to snap. “I have a 35 inches bump Lizzie, I can’t fit in better than this. Hell, we’ll be lucky if I don’t give birth in this dress.” 

“No!” She points a warning finger at her. “No stealing my thunder on my wedding day. Not even my future niece can do that.” 

“Lizzie!” Josie scolds her, looking almost offended.

“Oh please. It’s not like she’ll be the last one. You bake babies like they’re each other’s Christmas presents.”

Both Josie and Hope stare at her in shock. At the same time Josie’s pager beeps, while Jade walks into the room with her mouth full and stops next to Josie. 

“What did I miss?” 

“I’m going to freaking murder her.” Hope says. 

“Uh- oh. Relax Hopey.” Jade caresses her bump and turns to Lizzie. “Give her a break. She looks amazing, for a pregnant woman.” 

“Thank you?” Hope frowns.

“Fine. But that dress is anti-child birth. Keep it in there seven days more.” Lizzie says. 

Hope rolls her eyes while Josie walks to her to give her a comforting hug, then places a kiss on her temple, and Hope seems to relax for a moment. 

“My whole body hurts.” Hope cries.

“You should rest, Hope. I told you. Maya told you. Everyone is telling you to.” Josie says.

“Don’t worry, I’m taking her with me for the day.” Jade says.

“To do what?” Hope asks in concern. 

Thirty minutes later, they are at the arcade in bright day; Hope tries to keep up with Jade, who is already walking towards the shooting game stand.

“Why are we here? Jade! I have surgeries!” Hope yells at her.

“Not anymore. I cancelled them for you.”

She takes a gun on the stand and pays the guy for fake ammos for her and Hope. 

“You can’t just do that!”

“Take a gun and shut up Mikey.” Jade commands, then focuses her eyes on the target.

Hope sighs and looks at the gun in her hand. “I thought you were done with this hobby.” 

“Yeah well, I need some release.” She whispers, not really knowing if Hope heard her or not. 

Then she shoots.

//

Alyssa fills the chest cavity of her patient with sterile gauze along with an intern’s and a nurse’s help. She hates to admit it but she needs help. 

Her patient’s pressure is dropping and while she was working on his heart she realized there was also a problem elsewhere, so she opened him up, but with the amount of blood in his abdomen she couldn’t see a thing past her finger. 

She paged Josie ten minutes ago and she still wasn’t there. Bennett is in surgery and Josie is the only resident available.

Apparently not so much.

“Where the hell is Dr. Parker?!” She shouts panicking.

“We already paged her three times Dr. Chang.” 

“Someone go get her. Now!” 

Ten minutes later, Alyssa is forced to declare the man’s death. It feels bitter, it feels unfair. It’s not that she thinks she failed - although it still was a defeat - but what makes her angry is that they could’ve saved him. 

While she walks outside the O.R., she’s met with Josie who just walked past the hallway doors.

“Hey. You paged me? I’m so sorry, Lizzie was torturing Hope and I saw you paged me but then got distracted, then she trapped me to try on that stupid dress and then my pager died-“

“I don’t care, Josie. You can go now, he’s dead.” Alyssa says without meeting her eyes.

Josie is taken aback by Alyssa’s tone, although she should be used to it. “Oh I’m...I’m sorry.” She finally meets Alyssa’s gaze and realises that she’s upset with her. “Really. I am.”

“Tell that to his family. I have to go find Keelin.” 

“Me? I’m not his doctor.”

Without a glance more, she walks away, leaving a confused Josie behind. 

“Alyssa? Lyss!”

She sighs lightly and shakes her head, thinking that she might have fucked up again.

//

Hope sits on the bench with a Milkshake in her hands, watching teenagers and adults crashing into each other with cars. Jade finally sits next to her after waiting in a long line to get a huge tray of Pancakes with Ice Cream and chocolate chips - way too big for only two people -.

“Are you sure you’re not pregnant with two more? Four people could eat all this food.” Jade says while setting the tray on the bench between them. 

“Funny thing is that I never need to make pregnant jokes on you.” Hope says sarcastically putting on a fake smile.

“Hey! Rude.” 

They eat in silence for a while, just watching the kids all around them, until Hope shifts her attention on Jade next to her, who seems still lost in thoughts. 

“What’s up with you?” 

Jade meets Hope’s tender gaze and smiles softly. “Nothing, I’m fine.”

Hope rolls her eyes and sits more comfortably, shifting more to her left to face Jade. “That’s your problem. You’re always fine.”

“Well, it’s a good thing.”

“No, it’s not. You bottle everything up and never let it out. You know you can talk to me. What are you thinking?” 

Jade rolls her eyes and turns to face Hope. “Nothing. I just wanted to spend time with you.” 

Hope rolls her eyes and insists once more. “Cut the crap, Jade. Is this about Lizzie? Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts.” 

“What?! No! Of course not. I’m just...” She looks away but still feels Hope’s eyes on her. When she looks up again, Hope raises her eyebrow expectantly. Jade sighs. “It’s that...Lizzie wants to move to New York permanently.”

“Yeah, you told me. And I thought we all agreed with that?” 

“We did. I mean- we do. But I mean, are you sure?”

Hope chuckles. “What do you mean am I sure? I told you I can come and spend time with Joy every weekend and we’ll see each other on the Holidays and vacations. It’s okay Jade, really.” 

Jade sighs once again. “Fine. It’s not about Joy. It’s about me. Us.” She gestures between them. 

Hope tries to hold back an amused smirk. “Jade, are you really this pressed about the baby thing? Don’t listen to Josie...”

“No, no. It’s not about that.” She takes a deep breath, “I’m just gonna miss you.”  
She finally confesses.

Hope finally gets it, and she softens once again. “But we’re going to see each other every now and then and call each other every day.”

“Okay yeah, sure, but... if it wasn’t for Joy-“

“Even if it wasn’t for Joy.” Hope smiles softly and places her hand on Jade’s. “I would still call and take a plane for you if you needed me. Just tell me if Lizzie drives you crazy, I’ll kill her dead.” 

Both girls laugh wholeheartedly and then they simply stay like that in comfortable silence for a while, until Hope breaks it again. 

“So today was about this? You’re scared that I’m going to care only about Joy and not you?“

Jade smiles sheepishly. “Maybe? I mean I don’t know. I’m just being way too dramatic, don’t mind me.” She brushes off with her hand.

“Jade, you’re my best friend. You came back into the fire for me. And I would do just the same for you. But don’t tell Josie, she’d lock me up if she knew.” Jade chuckles lightly, then Hope continues, “You probably have no idea but I need you just as much as you need me.” 

Jade smiles and looks at her with teary eyes. “You do?” 

Hope pushes her lightly. “Of course I do.”

“Does this mean I get to be the godmother?”

Hope scoffs a laugh and shakes her head in surrender, but then smiles and nods. “FYI, I already picked you. I wouldn’t want it any other way.” 

Jade smiles happily and closes the distance between them with a tight hug, although she crushes against Hope’s bump. 

“I love you Hopey.” She whispers. 

“I love you too.” 

//

Josie walks into the room where Lizzie has set up all the dresses for her wedding, and she finds just the person she was looking for. 

Alyssa is standing on a white cube trying on a dress, while the stylist moves around her with needles and measure tape. 

Lizzie instantly adverts that Josie is upset, but weirdest thing is, she looks mad at Alyssa. 

“You did it on purpose.” 

She accuses Alyssa, but Lizzie still has no idea what this is about, and glances between the two in confusion. 

“What?” 

Alyssa rolls her eyes and turns her back on Josie - unwillingly -. “Get over it Josie. Bennett asked me and I had to tell her how the thing really went.”

“I got suspended for a week, Alyssa! Did you even consider how that would affect my nomination?!” She shouts. Lizzie widens her eyes in shock, but doesn’t dare to speak.

“Well, it’s a consequence to your mistakes. I can’t see how any of this is my fault.”

“Maybe the part where you snitched on me?! I didn’t do it on purpose! I know it was a mistake, but how can it be just my fault?!” 

Alyssa scoffs a laugh while the stylist makes her turn back to face the brunette. “Because if you were there to help me, maybe we could’ve saved the patient. But you were off dealing with your family matters, which of course, comes before your oath to save lives.”

“Are you serious?! I work my ass off Alyssa. I made a fucking mistake. I know! But why are you acting like this?” She asks in exasperation. She honestly can’t bear fighting with Alyssa. They rarely fight, and if they do, at least not like this. 

“I’m not acting in any way, Josie. I simply understand better now what your priorities are, and certainly it’s not life or death situations, doing what you trained to do. I’m probably the only one who takes this seriously.” 

Lizzie widens her eyes in shock at Alyssa’s assumption. “Alyssa.”

Josie snaps before Lizzie can say more. “Oh really?! Didn’t I come as far as you did? Since when do we compare ourselves at how good we are at our job?” 

“There’s nothing to compare, Josie. I can’t compare myself to you.” 

“Well, that’s a little presumptuous.” Lizzie says, arms crossed on her chest. 

“I am a good surgeon, Alyssa. I know I am. I’m not any less than you. And I shouldn’t be punished for being there for Hope, or any member of my family.” 

“In this case, yes. Someone is dead. But it’s not Hope, so it’s all good, right?”

Josie widens her eyes and scoffs in frustration. “Seriously...what’s wrong with you today?! It’s not happening again, okay? I’m already paying the price! You don’t need to keep being a bitch about it!”

Alyssa sighs softly, she’s much more composed than Josie. “You should’ve been there Josie, it’s as simple as that.” 

“And I’m telling you, I know. I made a dumb mistake and someone is dead. I have many people on my conscience. I count them all. I remember them all. I care about what I do, Alyssa. I care about people. And I also care about my family. I messed up. But it’s...it’s done.” She sighs tiredly.

Alyssa’s features seem to soften. She comes out of her dress and faces a rather disappointed Josie. “I know it happens, but it didn’t have to happen. And this just proves that we have different goals. Maybe you’re already settled, but I’m not. I’m not done. I can’t screw up.” 

Josie narrows her eyes in confusion, thinking how she’s not making any sense. “What are you even talking about? And- and so what, you just drag me down for it? What are we? Freshmen?” 

“We’re different Josie, we always have been. I had to fight my way up for everything since I can remember. You had it all easy. You’re Josette Parker’s daughter, everyone already knew you, then you fell in love with your attending, married her, had a family. I’ve always wanted something else. Just to...build my own person and be that.” 

Josie doesn’t think she has felt so hurt and angry since Hope left. She doesn’t think her best friend has ever hurt her like this and made her feel like she had no respect for her as a doctor at all.

But more than that, Alyssa made her feel like she doesn’t need her at all. And with teary eyes and a shaky voice, Josie tries to put a sentence together. 

“Then I guess you have become your own person.” 

Here's what's horrifying... what if you can't give a hundred percent? 

Josie doesn’t stay long enough to see the look on Alyssa’s face, because she walks out of the room as soon as she feels the tears coming out.

But Lizzie does. Lizzie sees everything, like the good observer she has become.

“Alyssa, what the hell was that?”

Alyssa turns to look at the blonde and tries to keep her composure and not show any sign of regret. “The uncomfortable truth.”

“No.” Lizzie frowns, “That was just mean. Why would you treat her like that?”

Alyssa decides that it’s best if she leaves without giving any more explanations, especially since she doesn’t owe that to Lizzie. So she does.

Maybe you just need to go back to the beginning... and start all over again.

//

At the end of every day, which can be good as it can be bad, Josie is still happy about two things: her kids, sound asleep in the room next to hers, and Hope hugging her close to her chest every night, like human teddy bear. Sometimes she has to free herself from Hope’s tight hold at night, and switch roles.

But not tonight. Tonight she appreciates and needs Hope’s tight hold around her, especially since Hope’s hugs are special. It’s like she’s trying to take away the pain and make it hers. 

She’d rather take it all than see Josie this hurt.

“I don’t understand. Why would she say that?” Josie whispers, her voice muffled against Hope’s chest. 

“I don’t know baby.” Hope keeps running her fingers through Josie’s hair.

“You should’ve heard the way she said those things. Even Lizzie was shocked.”

“Maybe she feels left out?”

“Why would she feel like that? I’m with her all the time. She’s family, she knows that. Yet she talked like...like I meant nothing. Like she wanted to punish me.”

Hope is thoughtful for a moment. “I know I’m usually bickering with her, but I doubt it’s that. She wouldn’t do that to you.”

Josie sighs and sinks her head even more in the crook of Hope’s neck. “I’m not sure at this point.” 

Hope saddens and places a sweet kiss on her head. “I’m so sorry baby.” 

“Do you ever fight with Jade like this?” She suddenly asks.

Hope crunches her nose, realising something “Now that I think about it, we never fight.” 

“Never?” Josie asks in surprise. 

Hope shakes her head. “I mean we do, but never this seriously. We’re mostly annoying each other, but other than that I’m too soft to even keep up sometimes.”

“Oh and here I thought I married a warrior princess.” Josie mocks her with a wide smile on her face .

Hope smiles in amusement. “Hey, I am. Take a look at my shield here,” She caresses her bump, “Big enough to cover me whole.” 

“You’re not that hard to hide anyway.” 

Hope pinches her cheek in revenge and Josie squeals and giggles lightly. Then the brunette places her ear and then a kiss on Hope’s belly.

“I hear you, you know. Stop kicking your mother or I’m pulling you out myself.”

“She must be jealous.”

“Well too bad, you were mine before you were hers.” She looks down at the belly again. “Deal with it.” She whispers.

Hope laughs in amusement and then rests her head on the pillow. “I felt a little contractions this evening.”

Josie lifts her chin up to meet Hope’s gaze. “Really? Do I need to call Maya?” 

“Josie it’s okay. It’s normal. You went through it before me.” 

“It was different. You’re...you’re tiny.” Josie gives her puppy eyes.

Hope laughs. “I sure don’t feel so tiny now.”

“You’re the prettiest pregnant woman I’ve ever seen.” Josie says staring proudly at her.

Hope playfully rolls her eyes. “You’re just saying that because-“

“No. It’s a fact.” Josie states. 

“Whatever.” Hope smiles softly. Then she closes the distance between them in a sweet kiss. 

But Josie keeps her there, close, attached to her lips, starting a full make out session. Hope stops her when she realises things are getting heated, and Josie looks at her with a pout. 

“Believe me, I’d like to go on with this, but I think we should check who’s out the door.” She whispers.

Josie frowns. “There’s no one. They’re asleep.”

“Trust me, there’s someone out there.” 

Josie tries to tend her ears to listen, but she can’t hear anything. “Hope-“

“Just open the door.” Hope insists. 

So Josie gets up a little reluctantly, and when she opens the door she sees Hayley standing there with her teddy bear under her arm, while rubbing her eyes sleepily. 

“My love, what’s wrong?” Josie kneels down and takes her hands. 

She mutters some words Josie can’t decipher, but when Hayley leans her arms towards Josie, the brunette doesn’t hesitate to pick her up and hold her to her chest, and two seconds later she’s already passing out with her head on Josie’s shoulder.

Josie turns to Hope who’s smiling from the bed. “Told you.”

“You’re scary.” Josie says.

Josie lays the little girl in the middle of the bed and then turns to her right to face both Hayley and Hope. “We should get some sleep too.” Josie whispers.

“Didn’t seem like you wanted to sleep a minute ago.” 

“Yeah, well, maybe if you hadn’t pointed out that someone was at the door...”

“And leave our daughter in the dark of the hallway?” Hope gasps softly. “How cruel can you be, Josette Mikaelson?” 

Josie chuckles lightly. They stay silent for a while. Josie gets lost in her thoughts while her gaze is fixed on Hayley, sound asleep. When she looks back at Hope, Josie sees her eyes closed. 

It fills her heart, thinking how she can make her feel safe and loved even in the worst of times. 

“Hope?” 

She slowly opens her eyes. “Hmm?” 

“Thank you...for marrying me.”

Hope gives her a sleepy smile. “Anytime babe.” She shifts more into Hayley and sighs content, before closing her eyes and sinking into a peaceful sleep.

Josie reaches for Hope’s hand resting over Hayley. Then she falls asleep after not long.


	48. Chapter 48

What's the one thing you've always dreamed of doing before you die?

We often think about it. Sometimes we have a list of things we would like to do before our time comes. Or maybe we don’t. Sometimes we take for granted the time we have, we think time is all we’ve got.

But turns out it’s not always like that.

Patients always have that fear in their eyes, a look that wonders: Will I be able to live? Will I be able to do more? I want to live more. I need more. 

But when death comes for you, you feel it in your bones. You just know it. 

“Josie? Babe you have to get up.” Hope whispers to her sleeping wife, while leaving soft kisses on her warm cheek.

The neurosurgeon is already up and ready, holding Grace in her lap, who’s still in her pajamas. 

“Josie?”

“Hmm.” 

“Hayley is ready and Tommy is getting dressed. I need you to take care of Grace.” 

“I can’t today.” She mutters, sinking her face into the pillow.

“Can’t what?”

“Exist.”

Hope rolls her eyes and smiles in amusement at how dramatic Josie is. “You have to see Alyssa anyway, one day more won’t make a difference.” 

Josie sighs tiredly and suddenly sits up, her hair all messy, her eyes still closed and a pout on her lips that makes Hope giggle.

“What?” Josie bursts out.

“Nothing, nothing. You’re cute.”

Josie groans and moves her messy hair from her face, while Hope drops gently Grace into Josie’s lap. The brunette meets the sweet eyes of her little girl, who leans her hands to grab Josie’s hair. 

“You’re lucky, you know? I would keep you like this forever. For your sake.” Josie tells her.

Hope chuckles while placing clean clothes in the closet. “If she grows up with your mindset we’re doomed.”

“Life’s hard baby girl.” Josie whines, still talking to Grace, and Hope keeps smiling.

“Josie.” Hope tries to urge her to move.

“Fine! We’re going.” She bursts out. Then she gets up with difficulty, trying to balance herself and picking up Grace from bed at the same time. “Jesus.” She whispers, “Your mom can be annoying when she wants to.” She whispers again. 

“I heard that!”

“You were meant to!” Josie yells back.

Hope shakes her head while she keeps smiling, and as soon as she closes the closet she’s forced to hold on to it as she bends in two because of the pain under her belly. 

“Ow, ow, ow.” She groans in pain but tries to control herself and slowly breathes in and out. “Okay...okay.” In. Out.

“Hope?” 

Hope suddenly notices Thomas standing at her door, looking at her in concern. “Are you okay?” 

Hope tries to hide how her contractions had hit her a moment before and puts on a soft smile. “Yeah, of course. It was just a kick. Let’s go pack your bag now, shall we?” 

“Gracie is ready.” Josie says coming back from the bathroom, spotting Thomas in her room. “What’s with that sad face?” Josie asks him. 

“I don’t want to go today.” He says with a sad voice and a small pout. 

Josie kneels down to face him. “Oh honey...why not?” 

“I want to stay with you.” 

It’s nothing new for them, because some days more than others he would ask to stay with them and not stay out all day. Josie understood that, especially with his trauma. 

With Camille’s help they’re managing to deal with it. So sometimes they would make him stay with them, some days they would encourage him to go to school and reassure him. That’s one of those days.

“Honey, I think you should really go to school today. Besides, your friends will be waiting for you and I know Ben and Kayla would be sad if you don’t go. But...I could come and pick you up earlier. How does that sound?” She asks gently. 

He just stares at her for a while, deep in thoughts. He bites the inside of his cheek just like Josie does. It’s odd, how he can be so similar to Josie even though he’s not really hers. 

“Okay.” He sighs and accepts the deal. “Thank you Josie.” 

Josie smiles softly. “You’re welcome buddy. Now go pack your bag, come on.” 

And so he runs away. 

Josie exhales deeply and looks at Hope standing by the closet, and walks towards her, pushing her out of the way with a move of her hip. “Move. I have to get dressed.” 

“Do you want me to dress you up?” Hope asks with a playful smirk. 

“I think you spend too much time around kids. I can dress myself, thank you very much.” 

Hope stops behind her and leans forward to bite Josie’s cheek playfully. “You’re gonna regret this.” 

Josie chuckles and watches as Hope walks out of the room with a proud smile on her face. She loves how Hope is able to put a smile on her even when she’s cranky. She realizes that between the two Hope is the one with most patience and it shows.

The brunette shakes her head and opens the closet to finally get dressed, although she still feels like this day is going to be hell. 

//

Bennett stands in front of the surgery board looking slightly uneasy. The board is normally full by now, instead there are barely three surgeries scheduled for the day. 

While she’s lost in thoughts, Keelin walks up to her and glances at her, then at the board.

“That’s a quiet board.”

“That’s a dangerous board.” Bennett says.

Then Rebekah walks up to them with a cup of coffee in her hand. “Oh. That’s a very empty board.”

“Yeah, I’m aware. Thank you.” Bennett says.

“Why? What’s wrong with the empty board?” Keelin asks in confusion.

“Bennett thinks that an empty board means a catastrophe is most likely gonna happen.” Hope suddenly appears behind them.

“You’re here?! Hope, I told you to rest.” Rebekah scolds her. 

“What kind of catastrophe?” Rafael asks. 

That board surely looks crowded from the outside now.

“Well like that day when the shooting happened. Or the day of the storm. Everything seems quiet and then something bad happens.” Hope explains.

“And my sixth sense was never wrong, was it?” Bennett says.

“That’s ridiculous. Just enjoy the chill day Bonnie.” Rebekah says. 

“Quiet board means death. Like catastrophic kind of death, okay?!” She bursts out before storming off under everyone’s stunned gaze.

Rafael walks up to Hope who’s breathing in and out with a hand under her belly to support herself.

“You sure you can walk to your patients like this?” He smiles almost amused.

Hope exhales and forces a smile. “Of course I’m sure. I’m a Mikaelson, I’m tough. I can bear a few contractions.” She tries to stand straight and look painless.

“Yeah...theoretically.” He says.

“And practically. Now, I’m going to check on my patients.” 

She starts walking away, but way too slowly, while Rafael keeps staring at her with a small smirk on his face. It is just too fun to watch. 

“At this pace your patients are gonna die before you can get there.” 

Hope doesn’t turn around, instead she keeps walking, but raises her arm in the air and shows him her middle finger.

//

Josie walks up to Hope and Jade, who are busy reading a patient’s chart.

“Hope? I have a feeling.” Josie says, concern written all over her face.

“Oh, not you too.” Jade says while she rolls her eyes. 

“No, I had the same feeling when the shooting happened. I had this pain in my chest and...and I thought something was gonna happen to Hope. And then it did. So I think you should just go home.” 

Hope chuckles lightly. “Josie, baby, it’s fine. Nothing is happening.”

“But...but-“ 

Hope places a hand on her arm and pecks a kiss on her cheek. “Deep breaths. We’re okay. I’m okay.” She says softly.

Josie nods and forces a smile, then watches Hope and Jade leaving, and her gaze falls on Alyssa, who is walking towards her far in the distance, but as soon as the raven haired surgeon notices the brunette, she instantly turns around the first corner and gets into an elevator. Just like that, she disappears.

Josie scoffs a bitter laugh and shakes her head in disappointment. 

She can’t understand what’s really Alyssa’s problem with her. Was really Josie’s mistake worth losing their friendship for her? 

This whole situation was making her truly miserable. Alyssa has always been her best friend. Her other half. Sometimes she felt like they were even more twins than her and Lizzie were. Not the same in everything, but so many similar shades than made Josie choose Alyssa as her ride or die for life. 

It was a silent agreement. They rarely get cheesy and talk about feelings, mostly because Alyssa doesn’t, but they have an understanding that no one else could ever get. 

And now Josie felt suddenly alone. Of course Hope is the love of her life, but Alyssa was her person. Always has been.

Maybe her chest pain is just her emotional pain. And everything else it’s fine.

It’s fine.

//

Jade, Lizzie and Alyssa rush outside the hospital, where Bennett already is, waiting for the incoming trauma case. Hope slowly follows behind them. 

“What do we have?” Lizzie asks.

“A gun wounded man apparently.” Bennett says.

“Where’s Josie?” Jade asks.

“Parker is suspended.” Bennett states harshly.

“No she’s not. She’s here. I told her she could come.” Hope says calmly while putting on her surgical gloves.

“Who gave you permission?! I’m the chief!” Bennett yells.

“I think your decision was rushed and pointless. She made a mistake that any intern would have made, so she shouldn’t be crucified for that.” Hope says.

“Except she’s not an intern anymore. She’s a grown up doctor.” Bennett argues back.

“If anything it was my fault. I needed her, so you can blame me for her negligence.”

“I can see the vein on Bennett’s neck popping out.” Lizzie whispers into Jade’s ear.

“Listen, Mikaelson, just because I treat you as my equal, it doesn’t mean you can overstep on my authority!” 

“Oh please, Bonnie, without Josie’s research the hospital wouldn’t even have half of the success it has now. You should be grateful for having her instead of punishing her because someone’s childish behavior.” 

“Oh no...she went there. She did.” Jade whispers. 

“Stay out of it, Hope.” Alyssa says with annoyance.

“I’m not staying out of it. We’re family, Alyssa. And you didn’t act like family at all. You hurt her, you attacked her and she doesn’t even understand why!” 

Hope suddenly feels her body giving up, like a weird rush of heat followed by a release. Everything spins for a moment. She should probably calm down.

The sirens of the ambulance are closer now, but not there yet.

“Okay, that’s enough. We’ll talk about this later in my office. Montgomery, page Dr. Malraux.” Bennett says.

“Jade, page Maya.” Hope says. 

“I said page Dr. Malraux! Now!” Bennett orders again.

Hope breathes heavily while she holds her belly with a hand. “Jade? Jade...” 

Jade looks at Hope and then her eyes fall on the water at her feet. Her eyes widens in shock, and suddenly the sirens that were around the corner where just a muffled sound. 

“Oh...oh. Okay, it’s happening. Uhh- Kaleb? A wheelchair here please?” Jade asks.

“Really?! Now we have to find you another dress for the wedding!” Lizzie shouts.

“Lizzie, I’m gonna kill you.” Hope says while breathing erratically.

Jade holds Hope by her shoulder while everyone else stand there unsure of what to do. 

Jade glances at Bennett as the ambulance stops in front of them. 

“I’ve got her. Don’t worry.” 

As they disappear inside the hospital, the paramedics open the ambulance’s doors and rush the patient out, and they quickly take him into a room to check on his injuries.

“How's his breathing effort?” Keelin asks.

“Absent breast sounds on the right side. Air bubbling on the side of the wound. He's shocky and getting a little cyanotic.” Alyssa says.

“Let's get him intubated and place an occlusive dressing over the wound.” Keelin says. Then she suddenly notices that there’s a stranger in the room, who also has her hand inside her patient’s chest. “Who are you and why do you have your hand inside my patient?”

“I told her not to move it.” The male paramedic says. 

“I tried to tamponade the wound with gauze and pressure but the only thing that would stop the bleeding was my hand. Every time I tried to move it he starts bleeding out.” The paramedic woman says.

“You have your finger on a major bleeder. Mr. Lockwood is running out of time. You come with us to the OR.” Keelin says.

At the same time, Josie enters the room in a rush. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, Josie, you’re here. Good. Prepare to transport her to the OR.”

Alyssa looks at Keelin in disbelief. “What? And what do I do?”

“Go talk to his wife and friend, make them tell you what happened.” Alyssa still stands there, glancing angrily between Josie and Keelin, “Now, Dr. Chang.” 

And reluctantly she goes.

//

Hope is sitting on the bed, breathing in and out and screaming because of the pain from time to time. She’s sweating more and more, and Jade wipes a towel around her face, while Hope squeezes her other hand tightly. Maya takes off her gloves and stands in front of Hope’s bed.

“You’re 6 centimeters dilated Hope. I can give you pain meds to release the-“

“No, I don’t want pain meds, I just need Josie. Where is she?” 

“I’ll ask Lizzie.” Jade is about to move when Hope holds her back. 

“No, no. You can’t go.” She releases another groan, then looks at Jade with pleading and teary eyes. “Please.” 

Jade gives her a soft look and squeezes her hand in reassurance. “Okay, okay. I’m here.” 

Maya sighs lightly and nods in understanding. “I’ll get her.” 

//

Josie is in the OR with her patient and the paramedic with her hand stuck inside of him, meanwhile the surgical team prepares the room for the surgery.

“How are you doing over there?” Josie asks gently.

“My hand is getting numb and I gotta tell you, this whole insides are all bloody and squishy thing is so not good for my gag reflex. But I'm good.” She forces a smile. 

“Once Dr. Malraux scrubs in she’ll have you remove your hand and then you can go.”

Five minutes later, Keelin comes into the room with a weird look on her face, one that kinda worries Josie. 

“Hannah, What do you feel? Inside of Mr. Lockwood. What is your hand touching?”

“Um, my finger tips are touching something...kinda hard. Yeah, yeah definitely.”

Josie shifts her gaze from Hannah to Keelin. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Don't be scared. Everything is going to be fine. Dr. Parker could you, um, follow me outside for a moment?” 

As they walk out, Josie stares at her with even more concern. 

“I want you to walk out of this room. Walk, do not run. Go and tell the charge nurse that we have a code black-“

Josie blinks a few times in shock. “A code black?”

“Tell him that I am sure. And then tell him to call the bomb squad.”


	49. Chapter 49

The OR is suddenly empty. Every nurse in the room is dismissed, except for the anesthesiologist. Keelin and Josie stand by the door, far from Hannah and the patient. 

“What do we do now?” Josie asks.

“I go back in and wait for the bomb squad. You leave.”

Josie frowns. “But you need a surgical team.” Josie points out.

“All I need is Dr. Warren to keep him under. I can do the rest myself.”

Josie looks at Keelin without blinking and with her arms crossed on her chest, hence, she is not going anywhere.

Keelin rolls her eyes. “Fine. But you wait by the elevator. I don’t want anybody near this OR.” 

Josie accepts the condition and does as she’s asked. She’s tense and tries not to think that she’s standing so close to a bomb that could kill her, but it’s impossible.

She wants to call Hope and tell her she’s scared, but she doesn’t. She thinks about all the times Hope tells her she has nothing to be afraid of, because there’s nothing in the world that could hurt her that Josie won’t be able to overcome. 

But how can you overcome something that you can’t control?

//

Maya helps Hope exercising to lessen the pain, while Jade checks on her watch and counts the time of each contraction.

“8 minutes apart.”

Hope keeps groaning in pain and breathes heavily. She feels tired already and she never thought that she would be having such a hard time with this. It can’t be worse than the pain Josie went through when she gave birth to the twins, though. 

She almost died that day, so Hope should consider this kind of pain as just a tickle.

“There is no shame in an epidural, Hope.” Maya suggests. 

Hope shakes her head. “Epidural increases the possibility of a C-section. I know these things, okay? I’m not doing that.”

“It also decreases pain. Hope, this is a big baby. It's your first baby and it’s not gonna be a short or an easy labor.” 

Hope scoffs a laugh between the pain. “You’re trying to scare me? I’m already pretty much scared, Maya. Thank you.” 

“Hope...”

“Where is Josie?!” She yells.

Lizzie walks into the room in that same moment, and throws Jade a glance of understanding, then lies to Hope’s face. “I can’t contact her. They say there’s an important surgery on the fifth floor and no one can access.” 

Hope sighs deeply, trying not to snap or breakdown. “Keep trying Lizzie, please.” 

Lizzie simply nods and gestures Jade to follow her outside for a moment, and Jade nonchalantly does so. Lizzie glances around her for a moment and gets closer to Jade’s face. “They’re telling us to evacuate.” She whispers.

“Evacuate?” Jade frowns. “Did they say why?” 

“Apparently...there’s a Code Black.” 

Jade’s gaze falls in realization. She knows what that means. She read the entire hospital manual back when she was an intern. Although she was the worst when she first started, with time she put all of herself into learning and be better both as a person and as a doctor, and to this day there’s nothing she wouldn’t know. Or almost. 

“Don’t tell me Josie is on that floor.” 

Lizzie tries to hold it together and not panic, forcing herself to hide the fear for her sister’s life. “Josie is on that floor.”

Jade sighs and brings a hand to her lips. “Fuck.” 

“I’ll just...I’ll try to get there. I have to. I mean Hope is in labor, Josie needs to be here for her.” Lizzie urges.

Jade places both hands on Lizzie’s shoulders, and the touch seems to quiet her fear for a moment. “It’s gonna be okay. Just try to call her, page her, anything...but don’t get close to that floor, okay?” 

“Jade...”

“Lizzie.” She stares at the blonde with a pleading look. “Don’t do anything stupid, please.” 

Lizzie nods in understanding and pecks a soft kiss on Jade’s cheek, then without another glance she walks away. Jade takes a deep breath before walking back inside the room, trying to focus on Hope and hide her fear for Josie. 

//

“So...so I'm touching live unexploded ammunition?” Hannah asks.

“I'm afraid so.” Keelin says.

Hannah nods and looks down at the man on the table. She exhales lightly, and seems like she’s trying not to burst into tears.

Keelin titles her head to the side and studies her. “Hannah?” 

“What if I just take my hand out really quickly?” She asks, starting to panic.

“We'd have to ask the bomb squad that when they arrive but I'm guessing that would cause the ammo to shift and explode.” She explains.

“Oh. Great. Okay.” Hannah swallows down with difficulty and closes her eyes, taking another deep breath. 

“Dr. Malraux? The squad is here.” Josie says. 

Keelin walks outside to meet the man, who is escorted by three other men. 

“Dr. Malraux, I’m Roman Sienna, bomb squad. We’ve checked the area, the nearest floors and wings of the hospital are secure. We are currently evacuating three floors, after that is done we can secure the patient.” He says.

“What do we know about this device?” Keelin asks.

“We talked to his friend. They were playing with guns or something in his garden, apparently. That device is home made which means it's unstable and very unreliable. It could be a dud but we have no way of knowing.”

“I don’t think the girl can hold on much longer. She’s starting to panic.” Josie says.

Roman turns around to his guys. “Check the floors again, give me a call as soon as you’re sure everything’s clear.” 

The three men leave, while Josie keeps standing there looking at the blonde guy, waiting for more instructions. 

“You should leave too.” He says as if he’s heard her thoughts.

“I can’t leave, Hannah needs someone to talk to who’s not intimidating.” She glances at Keelin, “Sorry.” 

As Josie turns her head to the glass window, she notices the paramedic is now alone. “Where’s Dr. Warren?” She asks.

Josie walks into the OR and looks around the room, but finding only Hannah and the patient. “Where’s the anesthesiologist?”

“He left.” She says. “He was scared. And...honestly, I am, too. I can’t do this, Josie. I can’t...” She cries.

“Hannah, listen to me. I know you’re scared, but trust me. Okay? Nothing is gonna happen if you stay still. Just hold on a little longer, okay?” 

She tries to encourage her, give her some confort, while Josie herself doesn’t know how she’s standing so close to death and is completely emotionless. Maybe not emotionless, but she’s turning the abnormal circumstances into something almost normal to her. 

Being constantly close to death is probably her thing too now.

“We can start.” Keelin announces walking into the room along with Roman.

The only remaining floor nurse starts pumping the ambu bag for the patient, and Josie stands next to Hannah to keep her calm, while Keelin starts making the incision to reach the depth of the chest cavity. 

“I can’t feel my hand.” Hannah cries.

“Just hold on. I’m almost there.” Keelin says.

“I’m 22 years old. I shouldn’t be here. I mean I chose this job, but I never thought it was going to come to this.” She says.

Josie smiles sadly. “I think about that often too. I mean, I’m almost 27 now and I’ve had two close to death experiences. This would be the third.” She smiles weakly, trying to loose the tension in the room.

Suddenly one of Roman’s radio beeps, and Josie sees him press a hand on his earpods.

“Yes?” 

Josie stares at him, trying to read his face. He frowns and looks at her, and Josie doesn’t know why his attention is suddenly directed to her.

“Um, I thought I told you to free the floors.” There’s a moment of silence, then he speaks again. “Yes. Okay. I’ll tell her. Just get her away from that floor. Copy.”

Roman looks at Josie with his mouth half open, trying hard to find the words.

“Josie, right?” Josie simply nods in confusion. “Your sister was trying to reach you. She says Hope is in labor.”

Suddenly Keelin stops moving, her eyes meet Josie’s, who’s clearly shaken now. She lowers her gaze to the table, where Hannah has her hand and is starting to cry again.

“I’m so tired. My hand is cramping. I can’t hold it, I’m sorry. I’m taking it out.”

“No! Hannah don’t move.” Keelin orders her.

“Hannah, you’ll kill us all.” Roman says.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry...” Hannah looks at Josie, crying, but Josie doesn’t really know what’s happening at this point. Her thoughts are still for Hope. Hope needs her. She needs to get to her. She has to...

But Hannah suddenly slips out her hand, and thank God for Josie’s good reflexes, she sinks her hand inside right on time to save them all. 

Nothing happens. They’re still there. Alive. 

“Josie.” She hears Keelin whisper to her in shock.

Josie stares at her hand inside the patient, then she meets everyone else’s stunned looks directed at her. She closes her eyes and prays to God that Hope can forgive her this time. 

//

“Bonnie, hey, how’s the situation?” Maya asks Bennett, who she sees running through the hallways.

“I have an evacuated O.R. A bomb in a body cavy. A missing paramedic. And Parker with her hand on the explosive.” She hisses.

Maya’s eyes widen in shock. “Josie? Wha- Hope is in labor, Bonnie. What am I supposed to tell her?!” She tries to keep her voice down. 

Bennett really has a lot going on right now, but both Hope and Josie hold a special place in her heart, and knowing that one of them is in danger and the other one is in pain can make her forget about everything else going around, but she can’t allow to lose her main focus. “Mikaelson is tough, she can do this.” 

“Not if she knows the love of her life is holding a bomb in her hands! Her contractions are 40 seconds apart but she still won’t push. She’s scared.” She explains.

Bennett sighs and shakes her head sadly. “We can’t do anything more for now, I’m sorry.” 

After a few minutes Maya walks back inside, along with Lizzie. Hope is groaning in pain, and Maya sees that the baby is starting to go into distress. 

“Hope, listen to me...we need to do it now, or else you’re gonna need a C-section.” Maya says.

Hope cries silently while her whole body aches in pain. “Where is she really?” She asks, trying to read Maya’s face. She know she won’t get an answer from her, but Jade would tell her. 

The blonde is still holding her hand and looking at her with tenderness. “Hope...Josie can’t make it. Something happened, she can’t leave now, but she will be here as soon as she can.”

“Wha-what do you mean? What happened?”

Jade presses her lips in a thin line. She can’t tell her why. She can’t. It can’t be good for her. 

“Jade? Tell me!” 

“There’s a Code Black.” Suddenly Lizzie bursts out. “Josie has her hand on a bomb inside a patient. They’re trying-“ 

“She...she what?” Hope scoffs a laugh between tears, then groans in pain again, “You must be kidding me. That idiot-“ She screams again, the pain getting too much now. 

“Hope, you have to start pushing.” Maya urges her.

“I can’t. I can’t...”

“Yes you can, Hope.” Jade tells her.

“Why has she her hands on a freaking bomb? I-“ She sobs and abandons her head on the pillow, her tears streaming all over it. “I can’t lose her. I can’t. If she dies...” 

Lizzie turns around to hide the tears in her eyes. Jade can barely hold back her own tears, but it doesn’t matter. She has to be strong for both Lizzie and Hope right now, especially because if she doesn’t get through Hope, no one else will. 

“Hope, baby, look at me.” With her blue eyes full of tears, she does. “I know you need her right now, but your baby also needs you. And I know you’re not scared just for Josie. You’re scared for her to come into this world, right?” Jade’s voice breaks. “I know it scares you. It scares you every time. But then you see them...and you realize it was all worth it, right?” She smiles between tears, while Hope nods. 

“You wanted this. You wanted her so much, and now she’s almost here. She needs her mom. You need to push, Hope.” 

Hope nods in understanding, and after she rests her back against Jade’s chest, she tries her first push.

//

Josie stands in the OR with the only company of her patient on the table, still pumping air to the man. Josie has her eyes closed. She’s mentally blaming herself for doing something so stupid. For doing this to Hope.

She takes multiple deep breaths, trying to calm herself down and not panic. 

As she opens her eyes again, she thinks she must be hallucinating, because she sees Hope in front of her, staring and smiling at her.

“That was so stupid.” 

Josie releases a shaky breath and smiles weakly with tears in her eyes. “I’m aware.”

“I thought we were done with putting ourselves into dangerous situations.” 

Josie looks at her apologetically. She feels horrible. She even made Hope promise she would run away from danger, yet there she is. 

“I’m with one foot into the other side, I’m not spending my last moments fighting with you.” Josie says, looking away from her.

Hope keeps smiling at her, but a sad smile, a smile that looks too much like a goodbye. A pained smile.

“So these are your last moments.” Hope says.

A moment of silence passes, where Josie stares at her while silent tears stream down her face, unable to say anything. Unable to even apologize.

“You’re not gonna show up, are you?” Hope asks in the softest voice. 

It breaks Josie. 

Breaking every promise she ever made to Hope is the last thing she ever wanted, especially not like this. Not in such an upsetting and dreadful way.

“Hope...”

“I need you, Jo.”

Josie frowns in confusion, her heart rate starts racing again. “Something’s wrong.”

Hope scoffs. “Yeah...I can see that.”

“No I- I mean, with you. You...” Josie can’t bring herself to process. Or maybe she doesn’t want to think about Hope right now. She can’t think about all the ways she’s gonna hate her. 

“Josie?” 

She hears a voice calling at her from the distance. It’s muffled, it almost feels like coming from the sky. 

“Josie.”

When Josie opens her eyes again, she inhales deeply as if she was just coming out from underwater. Keelin is staring at her with a serious face, along with Roman. 

“We’re ready to start again.” Keelin says. She takes a deep breath and straightens her back. “Let's go over it again.”

“The device is shaped like a rocket. About 8 inches long. We're going to have everything ready. My team is going to be in place. And I'm going to ask you to take the hand that you have in Mr. Lockwood, wrap it around the device...and pull it out while keeping it level.”

After twenty minutes, they are ready to pull out the device, but as Josie makes a small move, the pressure starts dropping.

“Damn it. We’re losing him.” Keelin says. 

Roman notices Josie starting to panic, although she keeps staying steady, then she looks right at him with frightened and teary brown eyes.

“Tell Hope she shouldn’t stay alone. She should move in with Lizzie and Jade. I- I know she needs Jade. This way I know they’ll be okay. And...and Lizzie adores Hope.” She laughs between tears. “They’ll be fine. They...”

“Josie, stop it.” Keelin orders.

“Josie, we’re there. You can do it. Slow and level, okay? Look into my eyes, I’m with you.” Roman says. 

Josie takes a deep breath and does as she’s asked, and once the bomb is finally out, Roman hints her a smile and starts walking away slowly, while she stands there for a moment more.

“I’ve got it here Josie, get out of here. The other way. Quickly. Got it?” Keelin says.

Josie nods, not really listening to her. She feels a whistle in her ears, like death is still there, hovering over her. But it’s not.

She should get to Hope, she thinks. She wants to run, but her body moves in slow motion. But it’s okay.

She has time now. Time is all she’s got now. Right?

She walks in the hallway and to the elevators. She waits for it to come up. In the meantime, she turns around to see Roman, walking slowly the other way with a bomb in his hand. 

Death is still right there. 

The whistle in her ears starts to grow more, it becomes a long beep, then joint with the ring of the elevator, opened right behind her. 

Two seconds later, an explosion. The impact shoves her body right into the elevator. Then darkness. 

//

When Josie opens her eyes, she’s sitting in the elevator, and she’s unharmed. She stands up and tries to press the buttons, but they won’t work. It’s weird. There’s no sound coming from outside, no way out, nothing. 

She’s stuck. 

“How am I here?” She wonders out loud. 

“You know.” 

That voice. She hasn’t heard it in years, yet she still remembers it so clearly. She raises her gaze and looks at the figure behind her reflected in the mirror. 

She smiles and turns around to look at him.

“Landon?”

He smiles. The same soft and awkward smile he always had. He looks just like she remembered him. She spent so many days missing him, and now she can see him. She never dreamed about him before now. 

But why would she be dreaming? 

Josie frowns and looks at the four walls surrounding them.

“Why are we here?” Then she looks at him. “Why am I here?” 

“The bomb exploded, remember?” 

Josie drops her mouth in realization. “Am I dead?” 

He chuckles and then sits comfortably on the elevator’s floor. “Not exactly. You’re... in the middle.” 

Josie slowly slips on the floor in front of him, and crunches her nose. “Then I have to come back.” 

Landon sits right in front of her and nods in agreement. “I’m sure there are people waiting for you.”

Josie smiles softly and takes a long look at him. “I miss you. I still watch Star Wars movies by myself sometimes. No one would watch them with me.” She scoffs a laugh.

Landon returns the smile and shakes his head. “You’re never watching them alone.” 

Josie looks at him and then at the walls around them. 

“Are you here alone? Inside these four walls?”

He smiles. “Of course not. I can go out.”

“Then let us out.” 

With a snap of his fingers, he does. As the elevator doors open, there’s someone else standing on the other side of it. At the sight of her, Josie instantly stands up and drops her mouth in shock. 

“Mom?” 

//

Bennett has been trying to reanimate Josie for the past ten minutes. She keeps pushing with decision and raising her gaze to the monitor in front of her, hoping to see a sinus rhythm.

Alyssa walks into the room in a rush, and her eyes instantly fall on the brunette’s unconscious body on the table. She might be feeling even more scared than when she had a gun pointed to her head, but she doesn’t freeze. On the contrary, she runs to Josie’s side.

“How long has she been like this?”

“Ten minutes, maybe more.” Bennett’s breath is erratic, she’s tired and her arms hurt, but the rhythm of her compressions   
is still the same. 

She can’t give up. She can’t lose one more of them. She can’t lose Josie.

“Come on Parker, come on...” 

Alyssa turns to her with the defibrillator in her hands, and Bennett only lets go when Alyssa says-

“Clear.”

Five seconds waiting. Nothing.

Alyssa sighs but doesn’t falter. “Let’s try again. Clear.”

The long incessant beeping continues. Nothing. Still nothing. 

It’s the most hateful sound she’s ever heard. She never hated the sound so much like in this moment.

“Why won’t you come back?! You have to come back, Parker!” Bennett screams. 

Alyssa lowers her head next to Josie’s ear and starts whispering. “Listen to me, you have to come back. Josie, you have to. Hope needs you. Your baby girl needs you. Do you hear me?” She hisses more vehemently. 

“You can’t give up Josie. You can’t leave them. You can’t...” She presses her lips together and closes her eyes, forcing herself to say the words, to be vulnerable. “You can’t leave me.” 

She puts herself into position again, shares a determined look with Bennett, who nods and then steps back again, while Alyssa steps closer.

She takes a deep breath and tries again.

“Clear.” 

//

Josie takes a few steps closer. She can’t believe her mom is standing right in front of her, smiling, looking...healthy.

“You’re here too?”

Josette chuckles lightly. “Where else would I be, honey?” 

Josie exhales and runs to her arms, and her mom welcomes her warmly. She can’t really feel Josie, but she enjoys imagining the feeling of holding her again, anchoring herself to the memories. 

Josie breathes in her mother’s chest, she can feel her, unlike her mother. Slightly, but she’s there. 

“I miss you so much.” She whispers.

Josette holds her tighter and smiles into the hug. “I’m always with you baby. And I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become.” She breaks the hug to look at her in the eyes. “You’ve become even more than I could have wished for you. And you still have many things to do. You have to go back.”

“I- I know. I want to, but I don’t know how.” 

“Maybe think about all the reasons you have to go back.” Landon says, capturing her attention from behind her. “I’d say you have plenty.” He smiles.

She starts breathing faster and looks at her mother again. “I’m so sorry.” 

Josette titles her head to the side curiously. “For what?”

“I- I could’ve saved you. I should’ve fought for you...” 

“Honey...honey.” She places her hands on Josie’s shoulders and looks at her with tenderness. “You couldn’t have saved me. And it’s okay. I’m so proud of you and your sister. So proud of the woman, the surgeon and mother you are.” 

Josie keeps hearing a machine beeping in the distance, then closer and louder. She shuts her eyes, feeling her head explode.

She looks at Landon again, barely able to breathe anymore. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you when it happened.”

“I’m actually glad you weren’t. You wouldn’t have the amazing life you have now if you were.” 

They exchange soft smiles, then the place around her starts trembling, and Josie wonders how is it possible for earthquakes to be in a dream, or death, or almost death, wherever she is.

“Josie,” Her mom calls at her urgently. “You have to back to Hope and your sisters. Your girls, they need you. Thomas needs you.” She pauses and smiles softly. “Faith needs you.” 

Josie looks at her with sadness. “Will it be okay? Will you be okay?” 

Josette smiles again and caresses the brunette’s face. “Everything will be okay my dear. But you have to fight.” She gives her a warning look. “Keep fighting, Josie.”


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it really me?? 
> 
> Yes. Sorry for the very long wait. I haven’t had much time and inspiration these past few months, but I’ll try my best to give this story the ending that deserves. 
> 
> I appreciate all of you for your support and your love for the story, so thank you for sticking with me so far despite my absence <3 
> 
> I hope all of you had a good Christmas and stayed safe (keep staying safe and wear a mask, please), and I wish you all a happy new year. 
> 
> p.s. Sorry if it’s shorter than usual.
> 
> Love ya <3

Josie slowly opens her eyes. Her brain needs a moment to process why she’s in a hospital bed, but it doesn’t take long. She remembers. She almost feels as if it’s the first time in her own body.

Maybe the stories are true. Those about how people’s souls levitate over their bodies while being on the line between life and death. She remembers the feeling vaguely. 

But at the same time, it’s like everything was just a fever dream.

She presses her lips together a few times, feeling them broken and her mouth completely dry. She clears her throat and turns her head to the side, and sees Hope silently approaching her with a soft smile on her face. 

Josie notices how her eyes are puffy and she looks really tired. She’s never seen Hope in this state, not even when she has sleepless nights between work and the girls. Hope is always radiant, energetic, spreading joy, never tired. Never like this. 

Now she looks devastated.

The auburn-haired neurosurgeon doesn’t say anything. She simply holds Josie’s hand and rests their foreheads together, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply. 

Josie catches a tear running down her cheek, and because seeing Hope cry is the thing she hates the most, she breaks the contact and meets her gaze. She can’t stop herself from crying, too.

“I’m so sorry, Hope. I’m...the worst. I shouldn’t have...I should’ve known. I-“

Hope shakes her head and sniffles between tears. “What are you talking about?” 

“You needed me and I wasn’t there. I should’ve been there. I-“

“Josie.” She squeezes the brunette’s hand to stop her. “I’m not mad at you.”

Josie lets out more tears. “You’re not? But I promised. I promised and I-“

Hope shakes her head again and smiles softly, then chuckles happily while brushing her fingers around Josie’s face. 

“I’m just happy you’re here. I thought...” 

She shuts her eyes closed, feeling more tears coming out, and trying not to start sobbing. 

“I thought I lost you. When it all was happening, I tried to be strong, I- I had to. For our girl. For you. I always try to be the strong one, but then I heard the explosion and I...” She stops, feeling the air missing from her lungs again, just reliving that moment in her head.

“Hope...”

“It _sucked_ my life away, Josie. I was...terrified. Of having to do this without you. Of a life without you. I don’t know what’s that like, I never wanted to imagine it, but then I had to. And it was...it was-“

“Hope, look at me.” Josie cups her hands on Hope’s cheek, wet with tears. The brunette brushes her thumbs to wipe them away, hinting a small smile. “I’m here. I’m always gonna be here.”

Hope rolls her eyes and sniffles again. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” 

“If I don’t keep it you can hate me for the rest of your life. You have my permission.” 

Josie looks at her in a playful way that instantly gets Hope, who lets out a small laugh and wipes her tears away one last time.

“I’d rather be miserable and still love you than hate you forever.” 

Josie smiles softly, then brings their lips together in a gentle and loving kiss. The mere thought of maybe not kissing those lips ever again made her heart ache for a moment, but it was all in the past now. 

She is alive. 

When she pulls away, she runs her fingers through Hope’s messy hair, pulling a strand of hair behind her ear. “How’s Faith? Is she pretty like you?” She smiles.

Hope shakes her head and brushes her fingers on the brunette’s cheek. “Like you, you mean.” 

They lose each other in loving stares, until someone bursts into the room, and Josie sees Lizzie preceded by Thomas, who runs quickly towards Josie’s bed and climbs on the chair near it to get to her.

“Josie! You’re awake!” He says cheerfully, surrounding her neck with his small arms. 

Josie smiles at her sister from afar, while returning back the hug. “Yeah, I’m here sweetie. I’m so sorry I didn’t pick you up from school. Are you mad at me?” Josie asks.

He shakes his head. “No! Lizzie came. She said you were busy playing superhero.” 

Josie smiles widely and glances at Lizzie at the door, arms crossed on her chest and a hard look on her face. “She said that?” 

“Correction: _stupid superhero._ ” Lizzie adds.

“Not true! I said you were brave and she agreed with me.” He says. “But I got scared when I heard the explosion. It reminded me of...my old house.” He pouts. 

Josie feels even worse remembering that. Thomas was already going through a trauma, and if she died he would have gone through the same thing all over again. That couldn’t happen. That can never happen.

She rubs her hand on his back, “I’m so sorry you heard that. And I’m sorry if I scared you.” 

“It’s okay mom, you’re here now.” He says.

Then he jumps back on the chair, while everyone in the room looks at him with eyes wide open in surprise. 

“Can I go play with Leo and Joy now?”

Josie blinks five times before her head can process an answer.

“Yes! Yes...of course, you can go.” 

Josie has the widest of smiles on her face while watching him run out of the room. 

It’s the first time he says the word _mom_ to her and if her whole body wasn’t so numb she would definitely be jumping of happiness around the room. Even Hope has the same smile when Josie turns to her side to look at her. A simple look is enough to know they’re both happy for the same thing.

“Can I see our daughter?” Josie asks.

Hope smiles and nods in response. ”You’re going to love her.” 

//

Later that night Josie is her room with Faith sleeping in her arms as she watches the rain coming down on the window of her room when Lizzie and Liv walk silently into the room.

Josie smiles softly. “Hey, what are you two still doing here?”

“We’re not leaving your side tonight.” Liv says.

Josie titles her head to the side and gives them a look. “Guys, seriously.”

“We’re just checking up on you.” Lizzie walks to the machines and looks at them, while Liv starts reading Josie’s chart.

“I only have a few scratches. And I’m a doctor, I can tell if something’s wrong with me myself.” Josie points out.

“Huh, odd. I would’ve guessed you have brain damage, but for that we should ask Hope to take a look.” Lizzie says sarcastically. 

Josie gives her a death look while the blonde twin fakes a smile.

“Everything seems fine. Have you eaten though?” Liv asks.

“Hope went to get me some pizza.” 

“Meaning she’s coming back with the whole menu.” Lizzie says.

“She’s probably the only woman I’ve ever seen walking around like it’s nothing after giving birth like she did.” Liv says.

“And look at this masterpiece.” Josie whispers while brushing her finger on the little nose. “She has her eyes.”

Alyssa suddenly walks in with bags in her hands. “Oh, hey. Can I have a moment with Josie?” 

Both sisters nod in agreement and walk out of the room after glancing one last time at the brunette laying in bed.

A few moments of awkward silence follows, until Alyssa thinks that acknowledging the presence of the newest member of the family might be a good icebreaker.

“She looks a lot like Hope. It’s...beautifully scary.” 

Josie smiles and stares at the baby in her  
arms. “You’re right.”

“I hope she grows more than 5’1, though.”

Josie chuckles. It seems like a good start.

Alyssa tries to get herself together. She has no other icebreaker. She should just start talking of what’s really important. 

Josie is looking at her expectantly and Alyssa doesn’t think she’s trying to find something to say, because Josie doesn’t seem to be struggling like she is. On the contrary, she looks far too much relaxed.

It must be the baby’s presence or the drugs. Whatever.

Alyssa takes one more breath and then starts talking.

“I’m sorry. I was unfair. And a dick. I don’t think you’re any less than me, Josie. If anything, what happened only proves that you’re so much more than just ordinary.” 

Josie scoffs a laugh. “Because I put my hand on a bomb?” 

Alyssa hints a smile. “Yes?”

“I thought you thought it was a stupid move.”

“No. I think it was brave.” She says with a soft smile. “I should’ve been there with you.” 

Josie keeps staring at her. “I’m actually glad that you weren’t.” She hints a smile. 

Alyssa shakes her head and plays nervously with her hands. “I was looking for something more and I might have found it, but I realize now...that all of my efforts, everything I did up until now, all I claim to be my success...none of that would exist if I hadn’t had you by my side.” 

Josie stares at her attentively, pressing her lips together in a tight smile. 

“Keelin offered me a job in Europe. She’s naming me chief of Cardio in the first Hospital of the continent.” She suddenly says. 

Josie raises her eyebrows and widens her eyes impressed. “Oh my- that’s amazing, Alyssa. I’m so proud of you.” She says genuinely.

Alyssa smiles widely, starting to get emotional. Those were the words she never heard, the words she expected to hear all along. It seems only right Josie is the one to say them to her.

“That’s the thing. This is something I have to do without you. And it scares me. That’s why I reacted that way when you didn’t show up. Because up until then I thought you’d be there with me through everything, but you weren’t. And I- “ She exhales deeply, “I never relied on anyone in my life, but I do rely on you. You’re my person. The one that matters the most. And even if I’m going away, I will still rely on you as my person. The only one who gets me and accepts me for who I am. And that’s why I also need you to stay away from trouble. Don’t even come close to death. Ever again. Not you.” 

Alyssa finally breaths again after rambling for long, while Josie cries silently and smiles softly. “Okay.” She whispers in agreement. 

Alyssa nods and tries to compose herself again. “Okay.”

Suddenly Bennett walks into the room and jumps back when she sees the girl standing in the middle of the dark room. 

“Oh, Chang. Uh, I need to talk to Josie for a moment.” 

The two girls exchange one last glance, then Alyssa does as she’s asked to. Josie stares at Bennett, waiting for her to start talking. She looks calm, so Josie assumes she’s not there to scold her more. Or maybe she is. The woman is unpredictable. 

“First of all, I’m glad you’re alive. What you did was...brilliant and dangerous, but the patient is alive today thanks to you.” 

“But another man is dead.” Josie adds. She just guessed that Roman was dead, but Bennett’s saddened face only confirms it. “I guess it’s just how the world balances itself. Someone lives, someone dies.” Josie presses her lips together and lowers her gaze to the child in her arms.

“You did your part, Josie. You couldn’t have done it better.” 

“Yeah, I know. But still...”

A cold silence falls into the room for a few moments. Josie thinks Bennett has still something to say, so she waits for her to say it, because what could Josie tell her? Josie was negligent and Bennett suspended her. And Josie is not one who usually begs for anything. She doesn’t expect Bennett to go easy on her either, so she just waits. 

But before Bennett can say more, Hope comes back with two boxes of pizza in her hands -and God knows what else she carries in the bag in her other hand-. 

She glances at Josie first and then at the woman standing in the middle of the room, trying to get from their looks if something was wrong.

“It’s a good thing you’re here because it’s something I need to talk about to both of you.” Bennett says.

Hope raises her eyebrows in surprise but then walks next to Josie and sits on the side of the bed. Both girls stare at her expectantly, waiting for her to talk. 

Bennett breathes in and out, “So...” Then she clears her throat, “I’m afraid this time there’s nothing I can do to save this hospital.”

Josie frowns in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

“The investors are done for real this time. They know it’s not our fault, but people think this place is cursed or something, so they don’t want to have that responsibility anymore. It just makes their company look bad.” 

“But...there must be something we can do. We can’t just let the hospital close.” Hope says. 

Bennett intertwines her hands together nervously and forces a smile. “There’s one thing, actually.” 

The two girls wait for her to say it, but before she does, she starts rumbling in a whole new way.

“You girls know I don’t talk about anything but work. And you probably think I see you all as my students and colleagues, but I actually happen to care about you.” Josie smiles lightly at the sincere words. “I’ve always cared about all of you. I cared about Kirby, too. And everytime I get close to lose any of you, I hate it. And I never want that to happen. You Josie, your sister, Chang, Montgomery... you were the best students I could have ever asked for. And I know you love this place as much a I do, as much as your mother did, so here’s the thing...”

She takes one more deep breath. 

“I’m asking you to invest in this hospital with me.” She finally says.

Hope blinks a few times to process while Josie keeps staring at her with her jaw dropped.

“Y-you mean you want us to buy the hospital?” Hope asks.

“Well, yes. And I would really like for Lizzie and Jade to stay too, but I can’t force them, of course.” 

“I- I mean I would be happy to do this. Truly. But, um, I don’t know if we...have that kind of money?” Josie glances at Hope, doubtful.

“Well, uh, not exactly. But there could be another way.” Hope says. 

“Tell me. Whatever that is.” Bennett almost pleads.

“Well this was supposed to be a secret but my dad and Camille are moving to Mystic Falls in a few days.” 

“They are?!” Josie asks in excitement.

“Yeah.” Hope smiles. “They want to help us out with the kids and everything. And since my dad is a big investor in local businesses in New Orleans...I think he could invest in the hospital?”

“Are you sure about this?” Bennett asks.

“I mean, he never invested in something so huge like a hospital but I’m sure he can do it.” 

Bennett stares at them with uncertainty, she doesn’t look so sure. She wants to have a safe plan, Hope knows that, so she tries to sound more convincing.

“My dad can do it, Bonnie. I’ll talk to him as soon as he gets here.” 

After a few moments, she finally nods in agreement. “All right. Now get some rest, both of you.” She walks to the bed to take Faith from Josie’s lap and places her back into the hospital crib. 

She glances once more at the two girls and smiles softly. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Bonnie.”

“Goodnight.”

As the couple stays alone in the dark of the room, lightened only by a small lamp in the corner, Hope takes one of the boxes and places it on Josie’s legs. 

The brunette claps her hands excitedly. “Food!” 

Hope sits comfortably in front of her and picks up a slice too. “Do you think we can do this?” She asks Josie.

The brunette has her mouth full with pizza when she tries to give an answer. “W-what?” 

“Buy this hospital, do our jobs and manage four children?” 

Josie narrows her eyes curiously. “Are you chickening out, baby?”

Hope scoffs a laugh and shakes her head. “No, never. I can do anything with you by my side.” 

Josie smirks playfully. “Smooth.” Then she takes another bite. 

They stay in comfortable silence for a while, eating, unavoidably thinking about the future, but also about the past. 

Hope suddenly puts down her slice and Josie looks at her suspiciously, studying her face and wondering if Hope could be already full.

“That was only the first slice.” She points out.

Hope sighs and meets Josie’s eyes. “I’m not hungry.” She picks up the pizza box and places it away against Josie’s look of disapproval. 

“Well- I am?!” 

Hope ignores her and tears the pizza slice away from Josie’s hand, then quickly lies herself next to the brunette, pulling her into her arms and resting her head on Josie’s chest. 

Josie still pouts because of her pizza being taken away, but then she relaxes into Hope’s hold and places a sweet kiss on her forehead, returning the same tight hold Hope was giving her. 

“Remember years ago, when you first found out about Maya? We were talking down my apartment.” 

“Yeah, I remember.” Josie says while brushing her fingers gently along Hope’s arm. 

“I told you you were the closest thing to real happiness I’ve ever felt. It’s like I had open wounds that I didn’t even know about and you fixed me whole. That you felt right.” She raises her gaze to meet Josie’s. “To this day, I still feel like that.” 

Josie smiles softly and caresses Hope’s warm cheek, staring at her with loving eyes. “You know I thought the right time for us would never come?” She whispers. 

“And look at how far we’ve come instead.” Hope smiles widely.

Josie keeps staring at Hope in awe, cupping her cheeks in her hands and admiring every feature. It’s like looking at a work of art.

“I want to do this forever.” Josie whispers.

Hope stares at her just as intensively. “This what?” 

“Looking at you.” She chuckles softly, “I could do this all day.” 

Hope giggles and stares at Josie’s lips while her cheeks flush red. “Smooth 2.0.” Both of them start laughing together this time.

“I’m serious, though.” Their laughs quiet down, “I want to do this until we’re old and none of us will have the strength to get out of bed anymore. But it’ll be okay because we’ll still have each other. I want to die next to you, in your arms, the place I’ve always been most at peace.” 

Hope pulls a strand of hair behind the brunette’s ear and frowns. “Dying? After today you’re never dying again. I made sure of that.”

Josie chuckles lightly and pulls her closer. “Oh yeah?” 

“Yes. I made a pact with the devil, we’re living forever.” Hope squeezes the brunette in her arms.

Josie starts laughing while trying to free herself from Hope’s grasp. “I have so many regrets now.” 

Hope opens her mouth pretending to be shocked and tickles her lightly. “I’m kidding!” Josie urges to say while giggling lightly.

Their laughters calm down after a moment as they enjoy the silence surrounding them. Josie can’t help but think about her mother and Landon, and how real it felt seeing them. 

She used to think that she was destined to losing the people she loves because of those losses. First her mom, then Landon, then her dad...

And the times she was close to losing Hope were for her as if life was trying to test her. As if life wanted to show her that she was fragile, too fragile to think of going on carrying the pain of loss. 

Instead, she proved it wrong. 

She understand that living with the fear of losing the people you love only makes you feel heavy. You can’t live in fear of what’s going to happen, but you can choose to live your life appreciating what it gives you day by day, including the people who surrounds you.

She doesn’t fear death. As a doctor, she can’t fear death. She has to see the life, even where and when death tries to darken the light. 

She can see it now. There is light all around her.


End file.
